Life of the Party

My old, old friends John and David are always the life of the party. As such they have made a fun eclectic group of friends here in Irvington. Last night their darling house, Sunny Mac was filled with people from age 15 to 90. People arrived on foot, by golf cart, bike or Rolls Royce. It has been such fun getting to know their rivha friends.

This morning the core group of nine who are visiting from far off places gathered back at David and John’s for some slow scrambled eggs and toast. It was a nice easy start to our day on the rivha. Their sweet neighbors Ellen and Jeff were taking us all out on their big boat to see Irvington from the water. It was clearly the best way to get your bearings as there are many coves, creeks and fingers of water.

Jeff was a great captain and narrator of the history of the town and waterways. Ellen a former Miss. Virginia, was just all about fun. So for three hours we toured as they served us drinks and snack. Such hospitality for people they had never met.

After our time in the sun on the water we needed a little lie down and then it was back to Sunny Mac for a reboot dinner of the night before. It was been such a fun time to be with old friends and make new ones. Now, exhausted we are falling into our little beds with sunburned noses and happy memories.

To the Rivha, For a Party

My friends David and John have a darling house in Irvington, VA. They have invited us many times to visit and it just hasn’t worked out that we could make it, until this weekend, for a big party they were throwing. So off to the Northern Neck of Virginia Russ and I drove.

We arrived after lunch to join my old college friend Blair Phillips and her daughter in a house two doors down from John and David. As we drove down King Carter road I recognized David and John’s house from the many photos I had seen on Facebook. We stopped first at their house to see how prep for the party was going and drop off the cheese cake I made for them to serve.

John said everything was ready except for those last minute food prep that couldn’t be done until an hour before the party. Then he pulled four bags of frozen shrimp from the freezer, “When should I thaw these?”

“Honey, you should have called and asked me that question yesterday,” I told him. There was still time to do a quick thaw. Russ and I went off to explore Irvington and I promised to return at five to do the last minute catering.

At the appointed time I came back to lay out the cheese trays with the special cheese David had brought back from his last trip to Belgium. John showed me the now thawed shrimp. “How do these smell?” he asked. I told him I would smell them after they were cooked.

“They are cooked, aren’t they?” I looked at the bowl of giant raw shrimp and said, “Umm, no.”

“But I ate one already.” Thankfully, John is still alive. So are all the other guests because we cooked those shrimp and iced them down before serving dinner.

The party was quite fun with a mix of Irvington folks and friends from DC and a Charlottesville. The cheese spread was a hit, the dinner delicious with us sitting on the lawn at tables in the cool evening air. The dessert spread was orgasmic. I didn’t eat any of the Belgian chocolates because they were too pretty to disturb, but other raved about them.

It was a delightful evening and a good start to what is certain to be a fun weekend at the rivha.

I’m Addicted to James

If you have been living under a rock for the last two months you have an excuse not to know who James is. James Holzhauer is the current reigning champ of Jeopardy and has been for the last 27 shows. That in itself is impressive, but not close to breaking Ken Jennings streak of winning 74 days in a row. It’s not the streak, but the amount of money that James has won, $2,065,535 in those 27 days or an average of $76,501 a day. Jennings won a total of $2,520,700 for an average of $34,063 which is less than half James’ daily average. I worry that James is going to bankrupt Jeopardy, but then when you think about the ratings of that he is getting for the show, I hope they are charging more per ad minute as long as James keeps winning.

James is exciting to watch as he jumps all over the board looking for the daily doubles and betting odd amounts. I knew I liked him early on because after he had won a few hundred thousand dollars Alex asked him what he was going to do with the money. He replied that he, his wife and child were going to take a year off and rent a place to live in a different city each month all over the world. Now that is a cool thing to do with a few hundred thousand. I wonder what he is going to do with two million plus?

I am not sure how long the Jeopardy Season lasts. We did have to suffer through a boring two week hiatus for James while the teacher’s tournament went on. Now I love teachers, but they were not as exciting as James. Can he win until there is a summer break and then have to come back in September?

I pity to poor contestants who have to go up against him. Eventually he will lose, but I bet he will break Ken Jennings money record first. When are they going to do another champions tournament? I would love to see him versus Ken Jennings. James is a game changer.

Drawn to Fellowship

Last year I was on a church committee to help raise money for the replacement of our over fifty year old fellowship hall. Rising money is something I do naturally. I thought that would be the end of my job on this project. Then in a meeting to find people to be on the building committee I found myself volunteering to be part of that committee, “As long as I don’t have to chair it,” I gave as my caveat. After recruiting a fabulous team of construction professionals from the congregation it was clear that I was the least qualified to be on the committee so I was appointed to be the chair.

Our committee has spent the last six months working with the architects, designers, contractors and engineers to bring a plan to the congregation we loved and could afford. Yesterday, I went before our governing body, the session, to ask them to approve the going forward to build this building along with my partner, Dave Pottenger, who chairs the committee doing the financing. The session passed the plan. Now we have to inform the congregation about the details so next month they can vote to borrow the portion of the money we did already raise.

I spend a lot of time thinking about this building and one thing always comes back to me, it is called the fellowship hall for a reason, it is where we celebrate being friends. The building could be called the all-purpose room or the community center or the dining room, theatre, play room, gathering room, but no, it is the fellowship hall.

It will house our largest kitchen, which will be a huge improvement on our old one. We will share meals together there as well as prepare food to serve to others elsewhere. We will, for the first time, have a large covered outdoor area so we can gather outside and eat, something that you should do often if you live in North Carolina. There can be plays or musicals preformed here as well as lectures. Of course the building will be perfect for meetings of all types, from adult, to scouts to pre-school, but all of them involve friends or people who come as strangers and leave as friends. It is all about fellowship.

Perhaps I was called to do this project. From the start of raising the money to completing the building I will probably spend three years doing it, but I am drawn to fellowship so it will be time well spent.

I pray that in the next few weeks I can communicate everything the congregation needs to know to approve the financing. We already have two-thirds of what we need and a solid plan on how the money portion should work. I just want people to feel the love of friends whenever they enter the fellowship hall because that is what it will be for.

Love At First Sight

I know I already reported on Shay’s birthday present stuffed dog, which she picked out for herself at Pet Smart, but the total adoration continues. She has had this blue dog two days and it has hardly left her side. I took these pictures all at different times.

She snuggles with it night and day.

It has squeakers in the ends of the paws and Shay has not done her usual precision undoing of a seam and removal of the plastic squeaker. Instead she has wrapped the animal around her snot and kissed it.

I have never seen her fall so totally I love with an inanimate object so quickly, but of course she did pick it out for herself.

I don’t feel like I am personifying her at all, just recognizing her own autonomy, likes and desires. I wonder what else she would chose for herself if we let her? I don’t think we should take her car shopping with us.

Farewell Susan

The first time I met Susan she was a senior at U Maryland. I can’t even think of how long ago that was. She thought I didn’t like her. She was wrong. Eventually she realized I was on her side and we became friends.

I was by her side when she first went into labor with her first son George. In fact I am credited with slowing down her labor because I was making her laugh too much. Who knew laughing did that?

We have lived through many parts of life together. Children, wives of working husbands, travel together. For many years we have lived in towns next to each other so we saw one another regularly, but were not always in exactly the same circles.

Today I went to have lunch with Susan as she waited for the moving van to come and take her furniture to Denver. She is setting out on a new adventure. I know she will be successful wherever she goes. It will not be the same to not have her in the next town, but our intertwined lives will keep us together somehow.

Susan, the one thing you can always count on me for is a good laugh. And to paraphrase Sally Field, “I like you, I really really like you.” Good luck, old friend. You always have a place here with me.

So Many Birthdays

Today Shay Shay turns eight. It is hard to remember what our family was like without her. She is definitely the princess and we are the ladies and gentleman in waiting for her. Carter took Shay to Pet Smart so she could pick out her own birthday treat. Carter reported that Shay looked all around the store and picked this ridiculous blue dog. Carter tried to entice her with other toys with more squeakers, she would have none of it. She tried to give her the pink version of the blue dog and absolutely not! She kept picking up the blue dog.

When Carter took the blue dog and Shay to the checkout, Carter told the lady it was her birthday. The clerk asked to give her a treat. Carter said, “You can try.” The lady asked Shay to sit and she did, then handed Shay the generic dog biscuit. Apparently she took it gently from the clerk and laid it on the floor at her paws. “No, thank you.” PRINCESS.

In a less princessy, but equally Royal scene, we had Christy’s needlepoint birthday today. Needlepoint Nancy came to join us, at Kathi’s. Our birthday celebrations are turning into critiques of lemon or lime desserts. Today we had a lemon cake Carter baked for Christy with some yummy berries and whipped cream from Karen.

It is the beginning of Christy’s birthday pageant month as her real birthday is not until Monday. It would be so much easier if Shay and Christy shared the same day. But I am not going to take Christy to pick out her own stuffed toy for her birthday.

My father’s birthday was last Friday. I was at my reunion and all my boarding school friends wanted to wish him a happy birthday. He was always very popular with the Walker’s girls. We called him Friday and he didn’t answer and his voice mail was full. I texted him, but did not hear back. We called Saturday morning, same scenario and again Saturday night. I still haven’t wished him a happy birthday, but not from lack of trying.

So happy birthday to Shay Shay, Christy and Dad.

Women Friends

This morning a handful of us at our reunion had breakfast together before we bade each other farewell. We had enjoyed two wonderful days reminiscing, sharing and rekindling friendships started forty-two or forty-three years before. One of the women at the table said, “I realize I just don’t have that many women friends now, and I miss that.”

This woman is one of the kindest and most fun people I know. She went on to say, “I really like my husband and spend time with him.” She also has three twenty something children, a farm full of animals, a successful business with lots of clients and is a published expert in her field.

Earlier in my trip a friend’s college age daughter asked me how she is going to make friends when she is out of college as well as keep her old friends. I hate the idea that friends of mine are worried about having friends.

There is one wonderful rule about friends- to have a good friend you must be a good friend. Well, that is easier to do once you actually have a potential friend in your universe. First you have to find a person you might want to be friends with. In today’s world this seems to be the start of the problem. How do people get out from behind their screens and actual meet live people and get to know them?

At breakfast I suggested to my friend that she learn a game with a group. I have taken great joy in my many Mah Jongg friends. Some come and go from the game, but the friendship is sustained over the tiles whenever people are around the table. The wonderful thing about Mah Jongg is you can talk to each other while you play. It is the same for people who golf together or play tennis, although yo can’t really share a funny story while serving at tennis.

Facebook has given people the allusion that you are friends, but there is not a lot of give and take in that being the only facet of a relationship. In the end you need to actually spend time with people to truly be a friend.

I suggested to my breakfast mate that she consider visiting old friends if she feels the need to spark her friendships. Don’t visit for long. One night is usually enough with people you haven’t seen much of over the years. First you have to see if you still like them, have anything much in common and sadly, now-a-days, can stand to be in the same room with them if politics come up.

The thing about friends is it is not the quantity, but the quality. Try and not hold friends too close, but instead share them. The friends of your friends usually make a great match. The one thing I have learned over the years is if you remember someone fondly as an old friend, they probably feel that same way about you. It is never too late to reach out, but never stop considering new people as friends. You just can’t have too many, but you don’t want to end up with none.

Old Girls

There is something special about relationships you make when you attend and all girls school. There is a deepness to your friendships and a shorthand of shared experiences even with acquaintances. After forty years apart it is comfortable to fall back into those patterns of fun-times and deep support.

This reunion was a blow out in terms of numbers of people who showed up, depth of conversations, laughs bellowed, kindnesses shared, dances done, songs sang, photos taken, memories relived and made.

Thanks to Miss Polcer for her hard work nudging so many to return. Kudos to Cathy Terry for coming in a wheel chair with two broken legs and a broken arm.

Big shout out to Karen Appel Brown for driving Cathy Terry and Mary Derbyshire. Thanks to Mary for teaching us how to walk.

Well done Kelly O’Leary for redecorating Beaver Brook Lobby and getting a plaque in the lobby to commemorate it.

Loved having Nancy Mack as my roommate again and always.

Thanks to Stori Stockwell for hosting me and driving me here and back to Boston and being a great friend.

Sarah Brand, whose laugh is always with me was rivaled by a Cynthia Reed. Sally Peck, wins furthest distance and was oh so beautiful. Thanks to the dinner gang, Lisa Danforth, Ellen Gerry, Karen O’Callahan, Dar Reiner, Lela Schaus, Ashley King, Mae Hurkert, Nila Hollfelder and last minute show up, Kemi Lickle.

Always good to see Angie Heughan and first time back at reunion Elizabeth McKee, Henrietta Cheng and Anne Haviland. Good job Dina Cathey and Bristol Voss for making it today.

While at Walkers my friends Kar, Anne, Nancy and I were known to each other as the shadows. Kar found a photo in the yearbook of the four of us taken at my parents house and we updated it to the fothy year later version. So glad we’re were all together again for the first time in so many years.

It was also wonderful to spend time with Kit O’Brien who was a freshman when were were seniors. We knew then that you would go far and heading up the board of trustees does not surprise us in the least. You go Girl, ‘cause Walker’s girls can do anything.

Love you all. Next reunion we need to have jointly with the classes of ‘77, ‘78, ‘79, ‘80 & ,’81.

Forty Years, Are You Kidding?

Forty years ago and forty one and forty two, on this very weekend, as a Ethel Walker student I remember seeing all these old women come back to school for their reunion. My friends and I would look at these preppy old women hugging and laughing having the time of their lives and wonder if we would ever be that old.

Fast forward and at least a third of my class returned to Ethel Walker school for our 40th reunion. Suddenly we are the old ladies laughing and hugging. But we are not old, we are still our youthful selves. This is a big turn out for a boarding school reunion. Friends came from California, Florida and North Carolina, oh that’s me.

Thanks to our class agent, Miss Polcer, we had many people come to the reunion who have never come before as well as the cohorts of friends who show up every five years. A huge group of friends rented a house and volunteered to have our class dinner at their house. It was so generous of them to bring enough food to feed the whole school three times over.

The best thing about a 40th reunion is how loving we are all with each other. People who hadn’t seen each other in all this time told stories, shared photos and caught up. Two of our teachers, Paul Davis and Warren Erickson also joined us at our dinner.

The funniest story came out when Ashley Smith, looked at Warren and said, “You taught Religion, right?” He nodded. “The first day of class you asked us which religion we were and I said, ‘prostitute.” The roar came from the whole crowd of reunion friends. Ashley continued, “You nicely told me the right thing.”

I can hardly wait to see all these friends in the light of day. More stories, more love.

Walker’s

Tomorrow is my Dad’s 81st birthday. Last week my Mom e-mailed me to ask me if I was going to be surprising my Dad on his birthday. I wrote this back to her. “Sorry Mom, I am missing Dad’s birthday. I have my Walker’s 40th reunion this weekend.”

Later she called me to remind me to call my Dad. “I’m going to be at My Ethel Walker’s reunion.”

“Oh, that’s what your Walker’s reunion is,” she said. “I thought you were going be with a group of people walking.”

She only sent me to that school for three years. Granted it was 40 years ago.

So I flew to Boston today and my friend Stori picked me up at the airport along with her wonderful daughter Sam who was coming in from college in Colorado. We have had a gr at day together and tomorrow we will drive down to Walker’s together. We might do some walking, but that is not why I am here.

Say happy birthday to my Dad tomorrow if you know him.

Boycott Alabama

I am outraged about what the Alabama Legislature has done. Twenty five white male republican Alabama state senators voted in the most restrictive women’s reproductive health bill ever and only three woman had a vote in the bill. There was less than two hours of discussion.

For years I have said that women should be the ones to make decisions about our bodies and not men. But in Alabama today men decided that even in the case of rape or incest, women must carry on with a pregnancy against their wishes. So if a family member rapes a thirteen year old child she must carry on. What were these 25 men thinking?

If someone does not believe in abortion they never have to have one. There is no law that makes people have to get one. Anyone who is pro-life can always be pro-life for themselves. But why is it that people feel they should have a say in what someone else decides is best for them.

It amazes me that the party that believes in smaller government with fewer regulations wants to regulate the most intimate and life impacting part of a woman’s life. If this were something that was about men I can’t imagine they would ever enact a law to regulate men’s bodies.

The only way to punish a state who feels they can take this kind of action against women is to boycott the state and things made in the state. It worked in North Carolina when the archaic legislature here enacted the stupid bathroom bill and that was just about where people could pee.

Making Alabama feel this in their pocketbook is the only thing people outside Alabama can do. Of course, I was probably never going to Alabama, but there are plenty of companies that make things in Alabama and I am going to let them know I am not buying their products as long as they manufacture in Alabama. For instance Mercedes, Honda and Hyundai all have plants there. The one thing that makes politicians nervous is the loss of big manufacturers.

I am tired of old white men thinking they can make decisions about women’s bodies . We have to stop them now. Let women decide for themselves.

Garden Club Year End Picnic

One of the very few clubs I have elected to stay in is my favorite, Garden Club. It is a group of fifty neighborhood women, some of whom actually like gardening and all of whom like to get together and chat.

Our year goes from a September to May and culminates in an evening picnic with our husbands. Tonight was the perfect night to spend outside at a Pokey’s house with her beautiful tented terrace and lush gardens.

The picnic is pot luck and is the best food you will have. Anne Bradford always brings her patio beans and I made sure to have them as they are a favorite. Anne was celebrated this year for being a member of the club for 51 years. Somehow we missed celebrating her fiftieth last year. I am not sure I can live long enough to make fifty years in Garden Club.

Missy McLeod was also honored for being our treasurer for the past ten years. If she ever decides to retire from that job we will have to disband. This year we were within $30 of our proposed budget. That is practically a rounding error.

The hostesses did a fabulous job with the floral center pieces— We are a garden club after all. The food was delicious and the company divine. Garden club is such an easy club to be in, not much work and lots of fun and really good company. I think I’ll stay.

2557 Blog Posts And Counting

Today is the birthday of this blog. I have written a post everyday for the last seven years. It started as my accountability for my weight loss challenge to raise money for the Food Bank. It worked for that. I lost weight, have gained weight, have lost some again. All along the way I have used this blog as my place to be answerable for my actions. I have also used it to justify things, thank people, be my memory, hold my recipes, retell inspirational things I have encountered, tell funnies, rant and encourage.

When I finished my challenge to raise money I thought about stopping the blog, but some friends encouraged me to continue. I know that the title of “Less Dana” is tongue in cheek as the whole thing is way more Dana than anyone really needs.

I appreciate you, the readers. I have days where a hundred people read and ones that get thousands of eye balls. Very few things I write about deserves that much attention, but once in a while something happens that draws people in.

For now I am going to continue. This is my second strongest habit, after drinking iced tea. If you told me when I started that I would write a few hundred words everyday and post it for the world to read I would say, “Forget it. That sounds too hard.” The act of writing something when nothing might have happened that day is a discipline I have come to enjoy.

Sometimes I write things that make people mad. I often wonder why people continue to read if I piss you off. Just know I am not trying to be controversial and I really write only for myself. I need constant motivation to do the right thing. That doesn’t mean I do it, but holding myself accountable and laying things out in public is good for me.

When I was looking back at the stats on the blog I laugh about things that get searched on which brings new readers as am amazed at all the countries they come from. I just hope that they figure out that sometimes what I write is satire.

So happy birthday to “Less Dana.” I know that I wrote yesterday that the celebrations about me are over. I consider this blog to be more than me, with a life of its own. Thanks to all of you who inspire me to write about you. After 2,557 blog posts I need new material.

My May Celebrations Are Over

I hate that I have my anniversary, birthday and Mother’s Day all in a ten day period. By the time Mother’s day comes around everyone is sick of me. I am embarrassed to have any more celebrations about me, so we didn’t. Six months from now I wouldn’t mind a little pampering.

Carter was at Cheerio working this week so she was not home until late this afternoon, so I didn’t have the person around who caused me to be a mother anyway. To replace Mother’s Day I had confirmation day at a church with my mentee Allison Prebble. It was a lovely way to spend the morning. After church we took some pictures and since I had been both Allison and her older brother Jack’s confirmation Mentor I wanted a photo of the three of us.

After church I called my Mom to wish her happy Mother’s Day. No gifts, flowers or cards, just a call. That is always how Mother’s Day has been with us, except maybe breakfast in bed when I was younger. This was not much of a gift, but it was all the was.

Carter is cooking dinner tonight and the three of us will be together. All the celebration we need. And then the month of me is over. Everyone will be glad.

Finally Aged Into My Hobbies

“Why are you friends with all the grandmothers?” Asked two year old Carter when I took her to preschool.

“Well, the grand mother’s are my friends because we like to do the same things.”

“Like what?”

“Play Mah Jongg, Bridge, make scrapbooks, do puzzles, arts and crafts, gardening, cooking. You know all the things I like to do with you.”

Carter was a little confused that the things that pre-schoolers liked were similar to the things that the grandmother’s liked and also what I liked.

For my birthday one of my younger friends gave me a beautiful puzzle. I really like to work on puzzles, but I do it on my game table in the living room. This means I have to wait until Mah Jongg is done on Wednesday afternoons before I start a new puzzle and I have to finish it by the following Tuesday afternoon.

I started this one Thursday afternoon. Despite being 1000 pieces I have made good progress. I am so happy that I have finally aged into my hobbies. No one asks me know why I like to do the things I like. I figure I am set with all the hobbies I need for the rest of my life. My young friends are finally aging into my likes.

I Can Do It Myself

Oh the glamorous life I lead. From my Harvard Non-profit group yesterday to landscaper/handy-person today. My yard guy quoted me a crazy amount to mulch my garden. I wasn’t looking to much our entire property, but the amount he said should cover every foot of our yard three inches deep.

Since I was not looking for four truck loads of mulch I told him I would do it myself. Last week Russ and I picked up ten bags of mulch from Home Depot for $20. It only took me an hour to spread it in my herb garden. Granted I could use another ten bags, but the important work was done.

I continued inside doing lots of handy jobs myself. I am gearing up for my big project of the summer- painting my kitchen cabinets. I have studied, gotten paint samples and have set aside July. This will be no mulch job, but I am certain I can do it myself. Oh the satisfaction!

A Surprise New Job

I have been fairly good at not getting a real new job. I am busy enough with my volunteer jobs that there certainly is not time in the day for a paying job. Plus I like to have time in my day for my real job, Shay, friends and family. Oh yeah, and games, puzzles, Needlepoint, quilts and cooking.

Today was a good example of my average day. I had a meeting at church and Shay went with me. Shay loves to go to church. She likes meetings and all the people there who worship Dogs.

I then had a long birthday lunch with my friends Mary Lloyd and Christy. We could easily stretch lunch from mid morning to mid afternoon and still not have covered all the topics we need to discuss.

I came home and started my new birthday puzzle that Michelle gave me. I got the whole boarder done minus one piece and divided all the pieces into color groups.

By then it was time to make the long trek to Raleigh for a Harvard 100 dinner. The trip, which in non-rush hour would take 30 minutes took and hour and a half. When I got to the Renaissance North Hill’s the ballroom where the dinner-meeting was being held was full with over 200 triangle nonprofit leaders.

One of my friends there gave me the heads up that I was being named the VP of Programs for the newly formed executive committee of the Harvard 100. It was a surprise new job for me that I had not run for, but one I am happy to work on since I love this group and it’s mission to help Non-profits in the triangle work together and improve. I was esciall

At the dinner I was lucky enough to sit with my favorite Janice McAdams, from SECU Family House. The new website for the Harvard 100 was launched. If you have a non-profit and are looking for information it will hopefully be a resource for you. Of course, that is once I populate it with some programs. Visit harvard100.org If you are a triangle non-profit interested in training let me know.

A good day— friends, puzzles, meaningful work and Shay. Sorry Russ, I didn’t see you much. I promise not to get anymore jobs.

Re-Entry

It’s Mah Jongg Day. I got a call from my friend Morgan this morning saying she wanted to try re-entry back into life and Mah Jongg felt like the safest place to start. Morgan is the aunt of Riley Howell who was murdered at UNNC while he took down the gunman. Morgan had returned yesterday from her home town where she has been for the last week with her family holding the funeral and being together. “Of course,” told her, “Where better to ease back than Mah Jongg and your friends here.”

It would have been nice to stop playing and welcome her with open arms, but as it would happen, Morgan came into my house as one table of friends we playing and I was frantically on my computer trying to buy Carter concert tickets since she is in the mountains without good connectivity. Instead of stopping everything and focusing on Morgan, she jumped in and helped me manage multiple devices, and communicating with Carter via text, while I kept refreshing the web site.

Eventually that project was completed and Morgan got some hugs and went to join a table. Our friend Kim, who had been away for the last two weeks did not know about Riley and Morgan explained the story to her. I was sorry I had not briefed everyone and apologized to both Kim and Morgan, but Morgan said it was a good way for her to practice how she is going to tell people who don’t know the story.

Morgan is a consummate story teller so she was able to share lots of anecdotes about Riley, the service and her family. She tasked me with asking anyone who had newspaper clippings if they would share them with her. Morgan is putting together a book of the stories for her family. She has all the digital media, but would love any hard copies. If you saved something from a newspaper, I am collecting them for Morgan.

In a life goes on moment, as we were about to have lunch a text came out to all the Middle school parents that the school lost power and they needed to pick their kids up. Morgan at least had lunch before she had to go pick up a Suburban full of kids. Nothing like kids to get you back into regular life.

So, Morgan is back and is able to tell you a good tale of her nephew. Mah Jongg was a safe re-entry, but I think it will be a little up and down as with all things in life, nothing is a straight line.

Pie For Lunch

There were five of us in our neighborhood needlepoint group. Four of us have birthdays in a less than two month period. That is turning our group into a “dessert instead of lunch” needlepoint group.

Today was the celebration of my birthday. Christy made a most spectacular key lime pie with ginger snap crust. As the lover of all things lemon and limes it was right up my alley. We are getting quite spoiled at our gatherings the last three times that we stitch a little, bitch a little, share tips a little and eat a decadent dessert and open gifts.

Next meeting is Christy’s birthday and then we take the summer off. Good thing since we don’t have any summer birthdays and Karen’s is in September. I am going to have to find something unusual to bake for their birthdays since they give the best of gifts.

The other day someone asked me if I missed having Carter in school in Durham and all the commitments that went along with that. I honestly said, “I really don’t miss that at all, I just miss Carter.” It is nice to get to pick what my “committees” are now, rather than doing things out of a sense of obligation. Neighborhood needlepoint is so much better than fundraising.

Not to say that I don’t have responsible things to do, like build the new fellowship hall at church. Since I have church meetings four days in a row this week I feel like Needlepoint is justified. Of course I have a Ph.d in rationalization. That’s how I got away with key lime pie for lunch today.

Baptismal Babes Birthday Lunch

OK, for alliteration we should have gone to brunch. Elizabeth Aldridge’s Birthday was a couple of weeks ago and mine was last week so we joined together with our friends Hannah and Lynn to celebrate together. Since our daughters were baptized in pairs at Westminster or Duke we now call ourselves the Baptismal sister group.

There is nothing better than having lunch with your friends and outside at the Wadu on a beautiful day is even better. The best part about being my age is the birthday celebrations go on and on. This week I have three birthday events and next week I have two. So much better to string it all out rather than have one big party and be done with it.

Russ and Carter gave me a Ring door bell for my birthday. Since our house is old they had to fabricate a very special box that fit around the curved molding around the door to mount it on. Now I can see a video of anyone at my front door. The best part is I can also speak to them through my phone, or “voice threaten then away” as they say in the home security system ads. It is the best birthday present.

So the birthday pageant continues, but today I had the honor of sharing it with Elizabeth. What a treat. I wouldn’t voice threaten her away.

Blessings

One of the joys of belonging to my church is being asked to be a mentor for a confirmand. For a thirteen year old to commit to spending nine months to weekly confirmation training is a big ask. Being ask to mentor someone through this journey is easy in comparison. This year I had the pleasure of being Allison Prebble’s special grown up. I had done this job with her older brother, Jack so I was thrilled to be asked again.

Allison is a stellar young woman, kind and compassionate. She is thoughtful and a good friend, especially to those who need one most. As a mentor I often learn more from my confirmand than I think they learn from me.

I was honored to walk this faith journey with Allison. I hope that what she learned this year will guide her through her whole life as faith is something that grows and changes as we do.

Today was the final confirmand examination by the session and the blessings ceremony. Next weekend is the dedication Sunday where the confirmands make their promises and are welcomed into the church. I am proud of Allison for making it through. I loved the times we got to spend together and hope she knows I am always available for her. My commitment as mentor does not end here, but just begins.

I love all the Prebbles and hope I am still around when Wright is thirteen. Maybe I can make it a clean sweep of all the Prebbles.

Double Celebrations

Today was a day of two big celebrations. First, was the retirement party for Carol Van Hise after 50 years as the director and then the financial director of the Westminster school for young children. Second was the big Derby Party.

I got pulled into the committee to celebrate Carol probably for my publicity connections and catering background. It has been many years since Carter was a student at Westminster. Turns out that there was a very fun group of people on the committee and I had a great time working with them.

It seems like you can hardly do enough for someone who is retiring after 50 years. We did a lot. The teachers at the school had each of the 125 students do a life size outlines of themselves and those dancing children lined the walls of the fellowship hall. We had finger sandwiches of every southern type, hundreds of cookie and the two biggest cakes on earth.

The committee members were all part of a skit depicting all the hats Carol wears. I had to be the square dancer. The only thing about it is it was better than being the Mother Goose that Jennifer Feiler had to be. The turn out for her celebration was wonderful and I hope she felt the love from all her fans.

From that party I had to turn around and go to a Derby Party out at Kathryn White’s. Lynn had gotten me a fascinator to wear so I was dressed appropriately. It was a good chance for Russ to wear his white bucks. After working the retirement party it was nice to just be a guest and enjoy the party. Stephanie Perun did a great job organizing it. Thankfully the rain held off until after the race.

Two parties in one day a lot for me, but thankfully Russ only had to go to one. Now I really would like to go to sleep, but a neighbor is playing music so loudly it is like being at third party. I am partied out.

My Birthday Sisters

Today is my birthday. Birthdays are so different now with Facebook. Back in the day, you wondered if anyone remembered your birthday. You came home from work hoping there was a message on the answering machine from someone who remembered. You were happy if you got a card in the mail. It didn’t matter how many good friends you had, they certainly all didn’t know exactly when your birthday was, or in my case what today was. Now with social media we are reminded when our friends’ birthdays are and then we can easily send a message of good wishes.

Back in the day your birthday could be a productive day, like any other day. Not now. Facebook has changed the whole day. You spend your day reading nice things from old friends you might not have seen in forty years. It is practically overwhelming how many people reach out.

One of the things I have always been able to count on is messages, calls or cards from my birthday sisters, those people who I share this birthday with. My cousin Sarah was born on my fifteenth birthday and it is great to share this day with her. I got a message from her today and sent one right back at her.

My bridesmaid Tricia Reilly who went to college with me was born not just on this day, but the same year. She messaged and called today. We never have enough time to catch up, but I always try to connect on our birthday.

My friend Gussy, who is my best friend from college Suzanne’s next older sister and one of my favorite friends was born today, just nine years before me. She and I e-mailed back and forth all day and she included a very extensive horoscope for our year ahead, which sounds like it’s going to be a great one.

All these birthday sisters were at my wedding which was the day before our birthday. That was quite a gathering of May 3 girls.

I also have a Durham friend, Beth Sholtz, whose birthday is also today. That’s five friends all with the same birthday. I am very happy to share the day with people I love so much.

Thanks for all the well wishes and kind words. I am not always good at remembering people’s birthdays, not because I don’t love you, just that I don’t know what the current date is. I will try to do better because I certainly appreciate the sentiments from you all, especially my birthday sisters.

Happy 27th Anniversary, Russ

The other day I wrote in this blog that my 26th anniversary was coming up. Russ told Carter he was sad that I had chopped off a year. In my defense it was not that I wish one less day of being married to Russ, just that I don’t know what year is currently on the calendar. The only way I can figure out how long we have been married is to subtract 1992 from the current year. When I wrote that we were going to have been married 26 years I thought that this year is 2018. He should be more worried that I don’t know what year it is right now!

26, 27 or 47 years, they are not enough. Russ should never worry that I am not appreciative of what a wonderful husband he is, because I am. I have witnessed plenty of other husbands and there is hardly a trait anyone else possess that I wish he had. I am not saying he is perfect, just perfect for me.

So on this day 27 years ago I am thankful that he went against his mother’s advice and married me anyway. It has been a beautiful partnership and I hope continues to be for at least the next 27 years. I probably won’t be able to tell him then that it will be our 54th anniversary because by then I will have no idea what year it is. What I will remember is why I married Russ and how every year has been better than the one before.

Two Sad Degrees Of Separation

I believe it the six degrees of separation. Six is actually quite far and for most things that is fine. Today I discovered a sad two degree of separation from the hero student at UNCC who was shot yesterday trying to stop a gunman. Riley Howell, was my friend Morgan Howell Moylan’s nephew. We was a junior at UNCC and when the gunman burst into his classroom with thirty students in it and was firing at them, the witnesses say, Riley ran towards him and gave his life to save many others.

As this happened while I was traveling I did not pay as close attention to this continuing senseless gun crime. I must admit I have become somewhat numb to these shootings after all the calls for smart gun legislation falls on deaf ears of our spineless politicians. Sadly now this is closer to home than it has been in the past.

It is not enough to send “thoughts and prayers” to the Howells and Moylans and all the friends of Riley. Of course we do that, but we can’t stop there. These shootings are too common and deserve attention to figure out the complicated reasons they happen.

Two young people died and four were injured in Charlotte yesterday. Probably a lot fewer than could have, according to the police who called Howell a “Hero.” But Riley Howell should not have had to give his life while sitting in a college classroom.

It doesn’t seem to matter how many people are killed in each episode, 26 at Sandy Hook, 17 at Parkland, 12 at Columbine, 32 at Virginia Tech, 58 at Las Vegas, we do nothing. Just two were killed in Charlotte, but one was the loved one of someone I know. Two too many.

If you do the degree of separation eventually you will figure out that you know someone, who knows someone, who knew someone who was senselessly killed by a deranged person with a gun. How many degrees of separation does it have to get to you to want to do something about guns in America? Is two degrees too close? What about one? What if it was your child? We can’t stay silent. It is our children.

The Need For Tea

In the last seven days I have driven over 1,800 miles, packed one college apartment, visited three friends and had many wonderful hours with my daughter. Tonight is our last night on the road and I can see home just beyond the horizon.

During this week I have had two friends lose a parent. Suzanne Worden’s 98 year old father and Wendie Demuth’s Mother. It is a sobering reminder that time is short, even at 98. Doing this trip with Carter is making memories, or reliving past trip’s highlights. These are the times you talk about in years to come.

Today while we were moving down the NJ turnpike I felt like I had hit the driving wall. Carter and I exited to find a Wawa so I could buy some diet iced tea. Traveling gets me off my iced tea schedule. As I stumbled to the checkout with an armful of bottles Carter commented that I looked like a junkie about to get a fix. Thankfully Carter took over the driving and a I refueled with tea.

One more night on the road and then we are home to see Russ and Shay Shay. Just in time for Russ and my 26th anniversary. Home to our peeps and an unending supply of my perfect tea.

Life may be fleeting, but it is a whole lot better with tea.

Heading For Home

It was a long driving day for me and Carter. We got up in Maine and covered the whole of New England on our way home. We talked, told stories and listened to Hamilton all the way to NYC. Our destination for the night was our home away from home at the Farley/Worden’s, the family we choose.

Miraculously we found a parking space in front of their house and were able to unload just our travel suitcases and our Maine four berry pie we brought from Moody’s diner. The Farley family are a pie liking family.

I can’t remember the last time Carter has seen her godmother Suzanne. I was happy to come and get to hug her since her father Clee just passed away last week. Suzanne and I have been friends since 1979 and I have known her father almost as long. He lived a very long, well loved life with five daughters and ten grand children.

I have heard many a story from Clee about selling steel. Being a traveling salesman was something we bonded over. He was a good egg, as long as we didn’t have to talk about the government. I especially appreciate that even after he caught me in a compromising position at Suzanne’s childhood home he never mentioned it again to me. It helped that Suzanne’s mother, Mary loved me and would defend me to the end.

Our trip here will be short since Suzanne has to go bury her father with a memorial service to follow later. It is good for us to have a little time with Steve, Suzanne and Oliver who are the kindest hosts. Being with them is like being home.

Maine Smorgasbord

Our last day visiting Warren entailed lots of what we regularly do here in Maine. We drove over to Washington, Maine to go to the Washington General Store for lunch, stopped by liberty graphics to see if there were any new T-shirts, played Mexican Dominos, and ate good food. Warren and I worked on an ancient puzzle that hardly looked like the picture on the box and talked about old Walker’s friends while Carter napped.

We got on the subject of Peggy Tregullis and had a hard time recalling some important facts about her. So I messaged the Trigger expert Jennie Hetzler and of course she had all the info right at her finger tips. Both Jennie and I spontaneously sang songs from the trigger song book and reported to each other that we had done it. “T-R-I-Double G-E-R.” Was one of my favorites.

There is nothing better than talking smack about an old teacher who was not particularly your favorite, given her smoker’s stench and lack of a sense of humor. I can look back now and see that her ability to write with both hands at the same time on a chalk board and her odd personality might be hinting at someone who would be diagnosed with a definite difference these days.

After dinner and games Warren showed us some Howard Johnson Postcards from North Carolina. Our favorite was the one from Jacksonville circa 1960, of the pet comfort station. Howard Johnson’s was way ahead of it’s time to have pet friendly motels. If only this idea had caught on I would have not had to sneak my dog Beau into so many hotels when I sold OPEX machines.

After postcards we looked at old menus. Carter loved seeing what a $1.00 cold buy in 1937 at a HoJo’s restaurant. Pineapple juice, roast tenderloin of beef, vegetable, whipped potatoes, rolls, butter, dessert and a drink was a big meal for a buck. I liked that pineapple juice was an appetizer and not a drink.

Oh, the things we learn coming to visit Warren in Maine. We are going to miss him, but it’s time to move on to NYC. Eventually we will get home.

Freezing in Maine

The one thing you can’t control is the weather. So when it was pouring rain in the middle of the night I was certain that Maine would not have good weather today. I was mostly right. This morning is was rainy, foggy and totally COLD. Hello world, It is April, f-Ing 27 and the temperature should not be in the thirties. I did not pack for this weather.

Carter, Warren and I decided to go to Belfast, Maine, a favorite of ours, to stay warm and dry in the car, as our main thing to do today. Belfast was fun. We had seafood for lunch. Visited our favorite bookstore, Bella Books, and went to my Mecca, Fiddlehead artisan, a sewing and art store.

Since I am still on my “not buying anything for myself” year, Carter helped me out by requesting some pillows for her new apartment. We picked out this cool cork fabric and some other linen fabric to make her pillows.

After wearing ourselves out trying to stay warm we headed home to HoJo Central to play some Mexican Dominos with heating pads and blankets wrapped around us. Carter eventually retreated to her bed for a nap with many blankets. Trying to stay warm is exhausting.

Warren made his world famous tuna melts for dinner and we tried to settle in to watch a VHS movie. On the way to Maine Carter and I listened to her favorite podcast, “What you missed in history.” It was a two part show on Fannie Bryce. We told Warren about it so we decided we wanted to watch Funny Girl, which Warren happened to have in his giant VHS library. Sadly the tape was so old that it kept losing the picture and the sound every five seconds. Now for most of the movie we could fill in the dialogue since we all knew it by heart,but when it came time for Barbra to sing “People” we threw in the towel and gave up. I think the tape was actually freezing and wanted the heating pad.

Tomorrow is supposed to be sunnier, but no warmer. I just hope all those climate change deniers are freezing their asses off so we can finally all agree that our weather patterns are f***ed.

Last Long Day

After not sleeping well in the hotel last night, between coughing all night and the numerous sirens outside, Carter woke up this morning at 5:30 because she had an 8:00 AM final exam. Since I wasn’t sure how the Boston traffic would be she ended up getting to her exam at 7:15. I went back to the hotel to pack the car and was sitting waiting for her when she finished her last exam in record time at 9:30. We felt like we had already had a full day by the time we left Boston to drive to Maine.

Rather than go right home where Carter could have that awkward reentry into childhood home life after living the life of self sufficient college student, we are taking a little trip to wind down. Although I have been able to come to Maine every summer, Carter has not been able to visit for the last five years. Our friend Warren generously allows us to invade his home almost whenever we say the word.

Usually I come in the cool of Maine summer when it is horribly hot in Durham. Last fall I came after dropping Carter off at college, so coming back at pick up is a good bookend. September was perfect. Still warm enough to enjoy the front porch. April seems like Durham winter.

Carter and I drove up and stopped in Portland to go to our favorite DuckFat for fries, balanced out with salads. It was rainy and the bitter kind of cold that chills you to the bone. We got to Warren’s by 2:00. Was this still the same day of Carter’s last exam?

As fast as we got here we were all piled back in the car to go antiquing and run an errand. Turns out Carter is finally interested in “old stuff.” Apparently her generation sees it as “environmentally friendly,” which it is, but it means there is hope for antiques.

At the Rockland Marketplace where Warren has a booth of things for Sale Carter found many things I had to talk her out of. The excitement of furnishing her new apartment is September has her looking at art and old boxes that can be end tables. She found a Kellogg’s Corn Flakes sign that she had to have since she is a Kellogg. The nice ladies working the desk gave her a deal since she is Warren’s friend.

After our outing we went home to Warren’s and made a yummy chicken Francese dinner with spring asparagus. The sun set making the cold even colder. We played Mexican Dominos where everyone won at least one game and hit the wall of exhaustion by 9:30. A lot was packed in this one day.

Congratulations to Carter for a successful year at school. The time is flying by and I am happy to get to have these little trips with her. Just like when she was in lower school on the drives to and from school, there is nothing like the conversations you have in the car. Glad we still have that.

For now it is time to bed with the five blankets I have to counteract Maine spring. Wish Russ was here too, he deserves a little Maine and Carter time with me too. Soon.

Good bye

Twelve boxes and three blanket wrapped body bag sized parcels were picked up this morning from Carter’s room by the storage guys. We cleaned her apartment. Went to lunch and toasted her last dorm.

Carter had exam review and I hung around waiting to pick her up. As far as this move is concerned all the hard work is in the rear view mirror. Carter has her last exam at 8:00AM tomorrow, so today she said her good byes to her friends.

We took two of her best friends, Jada and Susanna to dinner at Eataly. It was fun for me to put faces with the names of the girls Carter had come to depend on. After dinner they had long hugs goodbye. Jada is off to do her co-op in Hawaii in July so Carter won’t see her until next January. Such is the life at Northeastern.

There is a lot of movement of kids between jobs and school, but it is easier to stay in touch with technology. Carter has had a fabulous year of growth and it makes me happy to see how much she has grown here. That being said, I will not miss packing and moving. We still have in packing in September, but the set up of the new place is so much more fun than the take down of the old.

Year Two Packing

Last year Carter packed herself and dealt with Storage Squad and flew home alone. Of course she only had one semester’s worth of stuff in a regular dorm room. This year is a little different. Carter has lived in a campus apartment this year. It was great to have her own kitchen and bathroom with her roommate. Her good roommate Olivia, who Carter lived with last year and last semester spent this past semester on Co-op London. Carter knew that was going to happen so she bought everything for the kitchen.

The rule here is you have to move out of your dorm within 24 hours of your last exam. Except if you have the last exam of the year, then you have to be out in six hours. Wouldn’t it figure Carter has the last exam. How can anyone study for exams, take them, pack and move out all at the same time? This being the situation I volunteered to come up and help her pack for Storage Squad and let Carter come stay at a hotel with me for her last two nights. This is a good excuse for a little road trip with Carter.

I drove into Boston first thing in the morning. Storage squad is coming tomorrow morning so we needed to pack everything up today. Carter figured it would take all day. Last year Carter stores five or six boxes. This year it is 13 boxes and three large items, like her rolling desk chair and metal shoe racks, wrapped in blankets.

I was the appointed taker-aparter of all the ikea like furniture. It was not as hard a job as Carter thought it would be. After dismantling three items I was moved to packing up the kitchen. At the beginning of the year I had told Carter I was only buying her one set of cookware and I was very impressed with the condition and cleanliness of it nine months later. She took my warning to heart.

We took a lunch break of avocado toast and finished up most of the packing by 2:30. Carter has an appointment and I went to the hotel to check in. I went back at 6:30 we packed Carter’s suitcases into the car and went to Wagamama for dinner. Tomorrow is the final cleaning while waiting for the box pick up. The worst is behind us.

My Childhood Babysitter

One of the best things about writing a daily blog for eight years, is eventually someone from my past will find me and we reconnect. I have been lucky that no one has found me that I was trying to hide from, but last year my childhood babysitter, Ann Whelton, found me. We have had a great time reminiscing virtually. Today, while I am on my drive north I was able to stop and see Ann in person.

When she first messaged me with a photo I would have recognized her without her name even though the last time I saw her was at her high school graduation in 1973. Today I got to not only see her, but hear her very familiar voice.

Ann was only 12 when we moved from New Cannan to Wilton, and I was seven. She quickly became our all-the-time babysitter. Neither of us can remember how my Mother found her. Ann was the third of a family of ten so she was well versed in child care.

Today we talked about what life was like back then. Ann was like part of the family because my parents were always at a party. She also was happy to stay and spend the night so they could stay late at parties.

I’m not sure Janet will remember her because I took over the baby sitting responsibilities when I turned 12, but Margaret most certainly will remember her.

Ann, thanks for lunch and for finding me after all these years. It was fun to relive those days from 50 years ago. You never forget your babysitter.

My Kingdom For a Fork

Years ago when my parents sold their beach house my mother said, “I have all this furniture, I am going to buy an apartment in DC to put it in.” Since my parents basically lived at the farm the three bedroom apartment sat empty. Then, my sister Margaret moved into it. She had furniture too. She had lots of furniture since she is a decorator.

Recently Margaret decided to move to Annapolis and my parents realized they didn’t need this big apartment just to store furniture in so they put it on the market. It is in a beautiful Art Deco building and their seventh floor unit has a lovely view of the National Cathedral, which has I just noticed has a strong resemblance to Nortre Dame. If you know anyone in the Housing Market in DC tell them to come look at it.

Today I started my driving trip to go help Carter pack in Boston and go to Maine and NYC. My friend Jeanne in Alexandria just had her hip replaced and I decided I would break my trip up and come visit her as she is stuck at home convalescing. I used to have no trouble driving ten hours in a day, but my old hips require too many stops to stretch so this was a good idea. My mom volunteered the apartment for me to stay in since I am literally just sleeping and jumping in the car early in the morning to go to my next stop tomorrow.

After a wonderful visit with Jeanne I stopped at Trader Joe’s and bought a salad to bring to the apartment for dinner. Since I didn’t have a key to the building or the apartment I had to get here in time for the front desk to be manned so they could let me in and give me the key. Once I got here I can’t leave because I can’t get back in the building. I can’t even go to my car, but then I shouldn’t need to since I have everything I need for the evening.

I unpacked my few things, and put my salad in the fridge. I took a shower and changed into my night gown. Since no one is living here there is no WiFi or TV. I went to the kitchen to get my dinner to take to the beautiful dining room. I poured the dressing that came in a little cup over the greens. I opened the silverware drawer to get a fork and it was empty. I opened every other drawer, empty. All the cabinets, empty of most everything except two sets of China with a sign, “NOT MICROWAVE SAFE.” I searched for some take out chopsticks in what used to be the junk drawer. Nothing, only some tape.

I called my mother. She knew nothing of all the utensils being gone. I called my sister in Annapolis. “I thought the apartment would be sold by now, I was just cleaning it out. Go to the Giant Supermarket and get a fork.”

I didn’t get into with her that I couldn’t leave the building until the receptionist comes back on duty in the morning or else I couldn’t get back in. So after searching every drawer for any possible set of pens I could use as chopsticks, and finding none, I sat down at the dining room table and scooped my salad up with the dressing cup. It was a very unladylike way to eat, licking the lettuce out of the cup, but it was better than using my fingers to eat it. I am just thankful that I settled on the salad and did not get the Chicken Tika Masala and rice. It didn’t come with a cup. If only I had gotten a sandwich.

Easter Blessings

Happy Easter and Passover to all the believers or those who are considering believing, or those who have questions and want an excuse for a good meal, or all those who are forced to come to a dinner because they are family.

Easter is a good meal after a good Church service at our house. My parents came for Easter, as they have for the last twenty years despite the fact that the only grandchild, and real reason for visiting, is at college and not here. It helps that they like our preacher and the brass ensemble at our church even if it is Presbyterian and not Episcopalian.

After we learned a good Greek swear word today at church my parents and the Toms came back to our house for Easter lunch. I forgot to get a photo, something someone with a daily blog should not forget. To make everyone happy I made both ham and lamb along with a really good spring green veggie salad of asparagus, green beans and peas. Who knew that putting all the green food together tasted so good? We also had a decedent potatoes au gratin.

My parents stayed until the late hour of two o’clock and suddenly My father realized they needed to get right home, so off they went. The Toms stayed and helped with the dishes.

Russ and I did a few chores and then it was time for us to go to our second Easter at our friend’s Richard and Michelle’s with Mick and Hannah. Richard had a beautiful leg of lamb, and home made rolls he was working to perfect, although they were perfect as far as we all thought. Hannah had brought a delightful salad with oranges and au gratin potatoes.

Two Easter lamb meals back to back is quiet a decedent day. But a day filled with friends and family was so fun. How could we say no to any of it?

Top the day off with a message from my Aunt announcing the birth of my newest second cousin to my cousin Wright and his wife Calvine. What a happy Easter and welcome Weaver Kellogg Harvey to the world. It may be a while, but chances are you may have lamb and potatoes au gratin on one of your future birthdays.

Energy is So Wasted on Youth and Puppies

Coming home tonight from three hours away at the DPAC watching Anastasia Russ and I were greeted by Shay with all the enthusiasm of a war hero returning home from years at war.

The jumping back and forth and standing on her hind legs in excitement feels like over kill. We were only gone three hours. It’s not like she wasn’t fed before we left. We never leave her that long. She didn’t even have to go out.

Shay just loves us so unconditionally that she always acts like it is a big parade when we get home. Now she does go to the top of the stairs when Russ is coming home, but for me she stays on the bed and doesn’t come down to greet me. Still we both get the big jumping routine on the bed when either of us walk in the door.

This is more exercise than she gets all day. I wish I could harness the out put and use it to run the air conditioning because it is an explosion of energy. With enough toddlers and puppies hooked up appropriately we could end global warming. Don’t send me letters about child labor. I just hate to waste that positive output from all that happiness.

Birthday Bridge

In a continuation of my theory that my friends are all born at the same time of year, today is my friend Deanna’s birthday. Deanna and I met twenty years ago when we learned to play bridge together. We played a few years back then, but I stopped and she went on. Since Carter left for college Deanna has generously been mentoring me to come up to speed in modern bridge.

Let me tell you Bridge is a life’s work. I have no idea why we call it a game, because it is more like a torture. I feel like I am never going to catch up.

Since it is Deanna’s birthday I stopped and got her a birthday hat that was similar to a dunce cap. I should have gotten myself an actual dunce cap. Despite being her birthday none of the opponents gave us any gifts.

Just when I think I am getting ahead at bridge I have a day like today where I make many mistakes. I did a terrible job giving Deanna a good day at bridge for her birthday. I am thankful if she will continue to play with me.

I forgot to get a photo of her in her hat. Maybe that is the best gift I can give her.

Auction Friends

Tonight was the Chef’s Feast for the Food Bank at Fearrington Village. I was the auctioneer again this year and was fearful about the date. First it is Maundy Thursday and Easter break for many people. As if that wasn’t enough of a challenge for a date the Carolina Hurricanes made it into the Playoffs for the first time in ten years and tonight was one of the games at home.

Despite those issues we had a wonderful turn out of kind and generous people for a yummy dinner and auction. The weather was beautiful as well as the setting so we couldn’t help but be successful.

Vivian Howard, of A Chef’s Life TV fame, was once again one of our presenting Chef’s. She is a devoted Food Bank fan and we so appreciate her continued support of our mission. Collin Bedford of the Fearrington Inn also returned as a featured chef. This year we had Andrew Ullom, previously pastry chef at Ashley Christiansen’s many restaurants, and now owner of Union Special Bread a new bakery/restaurant in Raleigh as our dessert chef.

Special friend Chef Paris Mishoe volunteered to come and do plating so that service could move faster and he brought along Edward Rampersaud to help out. When I asked Paris if he would do me this favor he had no idea that the Hurricanes would be playing tonight. What a good egg he was to come work and then go to the game late. If you ever need any catering in the triangle Chef Paris is the bomb.

My job as auctioneer was easy. We had five items to offer and the bidding was good, but sadly only 5 people got to win. So I followed up the auction with the raise a paddle opportunity to just give money. People were very generous and we raised an extra $45,000 on top of all the other money from sponsors and tickets. Since everything from the chef’s to the food and service and the location are donated the whole evening is gravy to the Food Bank.

Thanks to all the wonderful guest who came, bid and donated. It is a fun evening that I am happy to get to play a small role in. I am especially appreciative of the people who tell me that it is a fun auction and how much they enjoyed the giving. Auctions should be fun! Being a charity auctioneer is all about making everyone in the room feel like we are friends. Giving with a joyful heart does makes you feel good.

Shout out to my Food Bank Crew who do an exceptional job making the whole evening run smoothly. It is a highlight of my year.

Columbine High School Should Change Its Name

Once again Columbine High School had to have a lock down because of a credible threat that an eighteen year old girl from Florida was headed there with guns. Apparently the girl was obsessed with the Columbine shooting. She flew to Colorado and was able to buy a gun the day she got there. The idea that anyone could buy a gun that easily and quickly is insane, but that is not the subject of this blog today.

Instead I am wondering why Columbine High School doesn’t change its name? Of course, changing the name does not erase what happened there, but perhaps it would help remove it from being such a Mecca for the crazy. Perhaps if future bad actors can’t find the school because they will give up trying to reenact the original shooting.

Today the news reported that Columbine High School has daily visitors who are just there to see where the historic shooting took place. The school spokesman told people that they are not welcome to visit. Well, make it harder on them to find it. Change the name. Don’t make a big deal about changing it. Don’t report it. Don’t call the news. Just let the old Columbine High School name disappear. While you are at it, change the name of the street where the school is. The people who live in the town will know how to get there, but visitors might have more trouble.

Second Birthday Celebration This Week

Yesterday I celebrated Michelle’s birthday, which is next week and today I celebrated Stephanie’s birthday which was last week. Lynn and I took Stephanie to Thai Cade for the annual coconut cake birthday ritual.

As I was thinking about all the cake I have been consuming with all these birthdays I got to thinking about how my friend’s seem to have birthday’s clustered around April/May and September. Since my birthday is May It made me think that perhaps we are attracted to people in the same zodiac sign. I never really put much stock in that whole zodiac thing. Then it occurred to me that perhaps I have more friends with spring birthdays because it was a popular time to be born.

The internet had the answer. Some guy compiled births by day of the year and turns out September babies are the most numerous. September 9th in particular Has more babies born that any other day in the last twenty years. My sister Margaret happens to be a September 9 baby.

On the issue of spring birthdays, April and May are not overwhelmingly popular months so I might have to settle for my theory that like birthday times of years attract each other as friends.

Regardless, I do like to take a friend to lunch for her birthday. I forgot to take a photo of Stephanie today, so she gave me this one of her and her daughter Leander at Denison this past weekend. The one thing I will say about all my friends is that they don’t seem to age at all.

Fitting in the Fun

Last night I was awoken when different things in my bed room just came on. The plug that holds my iPad and iPhone chargers sparked, scaring me into thinking my bed might catch fire. This kind of thing only happens when I am home alone. I unplugged everything in my room and investigated the rest of the house. The scare kept me awake for a long time. Since I had a busy day planned today I really tried hard to go back to sleep, which wasn’t working.

As soon as it was an acceptable hour I called my trusty electrician. Everyone needs to be on the first name basis with an electrician and a plumber. I pray that mine never retire. I told Tony about my scare and he said he would come right over. Thankfully right over for him was still long enough that I was able to get to and from my haircut appointment.

Tony came and determined I had been victim of a power spike and thankfully nothing terrible happened. He did this is record time and I was only 45 minutes late for my neighborhood needlepoint gathering. We were celebrating Michelle’s birthday a week early and I was in charge of the “cake.”

Saturday I tried to bake her a lemon cake. The weather was terrible that day and although I knew it was not good baking weather I tried anyway. Big failure! The the cake stuck in the bundt pan and broke into many unsalvageable pieces. I was not giving up and decided to turn the lemon cake into a lemon trifle. I made a cream cheese and whipped cream concoction and added strawberries, raspberries and blue berries. It was way better than just a cake.

I had enough time at Needlepoint to teach a new stitch and have trifle then I had to run to bridge. Playing bridge on not enough sleep is never a good idea. After four hours of not my best play I had to run home to host the church Building committee meeting at my house. Since it is Holy Week there are no meetings at church. That doesn’t mean no meetings, just hold them someplace else. The thing about having the meeting at my house is I could serve beer.

There was not a free minute in my day, but thankfully I did fit in the fun things. OK, everything I do is usually fun with the exception of house repairs. Tomorrow the city inspector comes to look at my new furnace and the HVAC people come to inspect my air conditioning. Talk about fun!

Missing Dr. Coonrad

I was the lector at church today. Given my low, loud voice and relatively slow reading of the scriptures the older members of the congregation seem to appreciate when I lector. When I leave church after lecturing at least two or three senior congregants stop me and thank me for reading. One of the things I love most about our church is the big diversity of ages and I am always pleased when the seniors are happy.

Today was a little different for me. I read the way I usually do and I had three people thank me after church, except for my best and most consistent cheerleader, Dr. Ralph Coonrad. For the last twenty years whenever I have been the lector Ralph was always the first person to tell me how much he enjoyed the scripture and my reading. Sadly, Ralph passed away this past Wednesday at 95 and I really missed having him in the pew.

Ralph was a founding member of our church and is listed as number 1 in our membership rolls. He was a brilliant orthopedist who treated thousands of children with scoliosis in North Carolina, invented the first elbow replacement and still visited patients at Duke Hospital everyday well into his nineties. But he would never tell you any of these things. He was born in China where his parents were missionaries, but when you talked to him about that he would always turn the conversation to be about you.

He was kind, caring and selfless, but would blush if you mentioned it. He was always friendly to children and spoke to them in ways that were welcoming to them. Despite being very tall I am surprised his heart fit in is body because it was bigger and more generous than most people.

In the last few years I knew he was losing his ability to remember exactly who everyone was as he wheeled himself on his walker into church, but this smile and warm greeting never changed. It did not matter if he could not recall your name, he loved you just the same.

I feel lucky to have known him and every time I lector I will miss seeing his smiling face in the back on the right nodding as I read. The world was lucky to have Dr. Coonrad in it and now heaven is a better place.

The service of the celebration of his life is April 26. Sadly I will miss it because I will be in Boston helping Carter, but Ralph would say, that is where I am supposed to be.

Can I Borrow?

Don’t ask me why because it’s a secret, but I need to borrow pair of cowboy boots for something the first weekend in May. As I am going to be out of town the two weeks before hand I figured I better get on this hunt now. If you or someone you know is willing to lend me a pair of boots size 10 1/2 -11 I would appreciate it. I would love to try them on before I leave, but don’t need them until that weekend.

I have a whole costume thing I need to create, which I can’t tell anyone and I don’t have a thing in my house that will suffice. The outfit is not something I can borrow and I am going to have to improvise. This is all within my capabilities except for the cowboy boots.

They won’t be worn more than half and hour, indoors. I can return them on the first Sundy in May. I appreciate any leads.

Real Mah Jongg

My friend Deanna was the first one of our Mah Jongg group to try out an online game called Real Mah Jongg. She had read about it in the Facebook Group, “Mah Jongg. That’s It.” A couple of us downloaded the Real Mah Jongg app. It has a free two week trial and after that it costs $6.99 a month, which quite frankly is much too expensive.

The app is good. The game gives you a choice of which card to play with and it has the new 2019 card. I highly recommend trying it as a way to learn the new card. Two weeks of playing it online and you should be well versed.

It is not a game that is good for people who don’t already know how to play. You still need to learn the game the old fashioned way, like from me or some other live teacher. If you know how to play, but feel like you play slowly, you can set the speed of the game to slow, medium or fast speed. Try just playing against computer players so if you make a mistake no one will get mad at you. You still need your Mah Jongg Card in front of you to play.

Years ago the National Mah Jongg League came out with an online game. You only could play with live players. It had a chat function and it was just terrible. The people who played it at first were often rude and unpleasant to play with. I decided they had to play online because no real people would play with them.

I am happy that this Real Mah Jongg version has computer player options so you don’t have to subject yourself to bitter, mean players who have been kicked out of other games.

If I seem out of touch for the next week I am just taking advantage of my free Mah Jongg period. I won’t be paying $6.99 a month for it. I have plenty of other free games on my iPad and my real life friends to play Mah Jongg with. The friends are the best part of Mah Jongg.

Shay as Nurse

Russ came home last night from work with a temperature of over 101. He thought he had just been suffering allergies thanks to the pollen as thick as syrup this year, but apparently he was actually sick. Shay stayed by his side in the guest room refusing to leave him.

This morning I went to check on the two of them. Russ was still sick so Shay refused to leave the room. I wanted to take her out and feed her before I left the house, but there was no hearing of it. Her duties as nurse were much too important and she would not leave her post.

With Russ asleep and Shay guarding him I went off to the Nasher to attend one of Ruth Caccavale’s excellent guided tours of the current Pop Art exhibit. Ruth is the best docent and always teaches the most interesting information about the art and the history of the time. I was fairly ignorant about how big Pop art was in South and Central America.

I had lunch with Ruth and two other women from the tour and returned home to relieve Shay of her nursing duties. She would have none of it. Russ was still not well and she stayed by his side the whole day.

I guess I don’t need to feel guilty about leaving my sick husband since I was practically shooed off by the labradoodle medical team.

Explosion In Durham Today-

This morning while we were playing Mah Jongg Mary Lloyd got a text from her husband Kurt that there had been an explosion downtown. We all stopped the game and searched our phones to discover that the explosion was not at one of our favorite restaurants, the St. James, but around the corner. I know that block well because for about two years my Magazine, Durham Magazine had our office in that block.

As better photos came in it was clear that the explosion from a gas leak was in my very office, the old Studebaker show room. The store front had recently been a coffee shop called Kaffinated.

So far the news has reported one person was killed and 15 were injured in the explosion, which Kurt texted he could feel in his office by the ball park at least ten blocks away.

The years that Durham Magazine was located there were the only years I really spent time at the office, with my co-workers, Bri, Kevin, Matt, Lisa, Carl and Dan. It was a sweet office with the “Studebaker” logo in mosaic tile on the floor.

The Ingram’s Porsche museum is next door and I can only imagine that cars were hurt along with the people. Please pray for the injured and fire fighter’s as well as the family of the person who was killed.

I have lots of good memories of working in that building. Thankful that it no longer is the Durham Magazine space, but so sorry for those who occupied it today.

Locked Data No More

A number of years ago one of my doctor’s practice started using a product called Health Vault. Supposedly it was a HIPPA approved way of communicating with patients and having a repository of all my health related information. The idea sounded good, but the reality was very different.

The Health Vault was perfectly named because all my information was locked tightly in it and I was never able to get in and look at it. I would get an email from my doctor saying I had a message in my Health Vault. I would attempt to log in to see what vital info was in there. I was always locked out. Try as I might, with the correct user name, password and multiple security questions the Health Vault was never certain I was me. I would call the doctor’s office and ask them just to tell me the message. No, that was not allowed. I would request a new log in, it would take days. Eventually I would somehow get the information, “All your tests are normal.” Thank goodness, but why the hell couldn’t someone just tell me that. Doesn’t seem like a HIPPA violation.

When I complained about the Health Vault my pleas fell on deaf ears. “Your tests were normal, what was the problem with getting the info days later?”

“Besides the aggravation,” I would say, “What if something had been life threateningly wrong with me?”

“The doctor would call you then.”

I eventually learned I could ignore the Health Vault since the only news that came through was no news. If I were dying someone would actually let me know. Today when I got an email telling me of the eventual death of the Health Vault. I was thrilled. All my normal test results can stay locked away from me forever. I certainly won’t be able to down load any data as a I don’t have six or seven days to devote to convincing the Health Vault that I am who I am. When I am going out of this world I figure someone will tell me.

Bring Back House Dresses for Pollen Season

With all the pollen in the air today the second I went outside I was covered in a thin layer of yellow dust. It didn’t help that I was wearing a navy shirt and white jeans. After Needlepoint morning I was off to do errands and jobs around the house before a church committee meeting. While I was doing my work at home I was noticing how dusty my clothes were getting and I wasn’t even dusting.

It got me thinking of the photos of women of the fifties wearing “house dresses” as they did their chores at home. The usually brightly colored floral cotton dresses looked like just the thing to wear while cleaning. No dust or dirt would show on the intricate patterns and the dress was not expensive or hard to clean. Since the lady of the house would be home alone wearing these outfits it didn’t much matter how you looked, you could even have a kerchief over your hair in curlers in your house dress. Comfort was the key.

Now a days yoga pants are the house dress of the day. If you are not dressed up you are in yoga pants and no one expected that you have just come from or are going to yoga. The only problem with yoga pants as the uniform is that dust clings to them. Try sitting on a park bench today in black yoga pants. You will have a big ‘ole yellow butt. Yes, they are comfortable and thus makes doing house work or running errands easy in them.

The big difference between house dresses and yoga pants is you could put a house dress over another outfit if you are just looking to protect your clothes. You might even put a house dress over your yoga pants. Yoga pants are a stand alone outfit.

I am certain that since most people don’t clean the way women of the fifties did there is no need for specialized cleaning clothing, except during pollen season. The problem with pollen season is that you have to clean every few hours. Maybe I need to make myself a yellow house dress like the one in the photo. I think I will skip the pearls while cleaning.

It’s Yellow Season

Yesterday I cleaned the dark blue chair on the front porch. I carefully wiped every surface with a wet rag remover not every trace of dust and pollen. Russ went out for a walk with Shay after church and texted me back a photo of the clouds of pollen rolling down the golf course.

As I was cleaning the house today I walked out on the front porch to discover that all my hard work yesterday was for naught. The blue chair was back to being a yellow chair. Not only did I feel like all this cleaning was a waste of time, but I also knew that if I didn’t do it the fine yellow dust would stain everything I have.

I hate yellow season and I don’t even have allergies. Russ lives on Clairitan and even Shay sneezes and rubs the dust off her face. I don’t remember the pollen being this bad in Connecticut when I was a kid, but perhaps it just didn’t bother me because I didn’t clean anything.

Consider this a warning, right now in Durham if it isn’t raining you are going to get yellow outside. I am going to be doing nothing but cleaning until yellow season ends. Oh, and I won’t be sitting my my blue chair.