Tired of Flags at Half Mast as Our Response

Another day, another 18 kids killed by a gunman while they were at school. This should never be a sentence anyone writes.

We know very little about the specifics of this horrific day, but what we do know is these children were killed by someone with a gun. How many shootings must happen before people we say enough is enough?

For all the politicians who take money from the gun lobby, you have the blood of these children on your hands. To the politicians who say they are constitutional originalists and that the second amendment says Americans can have guns, you are not being true to the founding father’s intent.

Muskets were all the founding fathers knew and single shot dueling pistols. If we are going to be originalists, then that is all anyone should be entitled to by the second amendment. All other weapons must be regulated. An eighteen year old should not have access to weapons of mass destruction.

I am sick and tired of flags at half mast as the consolation for the life of a child, or for an innocent person shopping at the grocery store.

Most Americans want gun control, even gun owners. It is time to hold politicians responsible for not doing their job. Stop the senseless carnage.

Some Drives Are Worse Than Others

I had a lovely day in Raleigh teaching Mah Jongg at two different beautiful homes. All went well in both classes. It began to sprinkle just as I was leaving my class. I got about five minutes away from my starting point and my weather radio started blaring about a Tornado and torrential rains in my Location. I pulled the car off the highway and into a shopping center parking lot.

While buckets of rain fell on my car, and winds wiped the lose plants for sale in front of the store around the parking lot, I talked to Carter on the phone to kill the time so the tornado warning could pass. After about 20 minutes the rain slowed down and I resumed my drive home. The amount of water flowing down the street I was on was significant, but I could still drive.

As soon as I turned onto Wade Ave. I realized I was in a very long slow back up of cars. I turned on my Waze on my phone to discover a big car crash on I-40 four miles down the road that had the traffic moving very slowly. I eventually got to an Exit, where I took a meandering route around the crash and got back on 40 after the crash site.

I decided I would take the Apex exit and drive up 55 to get home. I was the first car at the light at the bottom of the exit ramp and I saw about forty emergency vehicles across the street from me with a number of banged up cars in Jimmy’s Hotdog restaurant parking lot. Before I was able to turn left onto the road, a cop pulled out In the middle of the Intersection and tied yellow police tape to his mirror and across two lanes of traffic to the light pole on the side of the road.

I was now unable to turn left and instead turned right and went down to 54 to get home. As I was meandering my way home I encountered no less than six traffic lights that were not working, probably due to a power outage caused by the horrific storm. It took forever to get through each intersection. Apparently most drivers don’t know you treat a broken traffic light as a four way stop.

I finally pulled in our driveway an hour and forty minutes after leaving Raliegh. That trip is normally 30 minutes. Thank goodness I don’t have to go far tomorrow. When I relayed this tale to Russ he told me that the police activity I encountered by Jimmy’s was a shooting. Thank goodness I missed that part of the action.

Party Like it’s 1999

This week was more like my old entertaining self than anything has been in the last two years. We had 13 of Russ’ work mates for dinner on Wednesday. We had our friend Judy spend the night Wednesday. And tonight we had our friends Molly and Vicki for dinner. All this entertaining in a short period of time is more like the forty year old me than the sixty-one year old me.

Thankfully it is a muscle with lots of memory. The only problem now is I am too old to stay up this late and get up early to go teach all day tomorrow. So I am making this short and uneventful as far as a blog goes. Of course back when I was forty, throwing parties all the time, I didn’t have a daily blog. Just goes to show you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

We Need Immigrants

If you are not a Native American then you are an immigrant or a descendant of immigrants to this country. It amazes me how many people forget this. A number of years back immigrating to America was the dream of many people from around the world. People came and worked hard to make a life in this country. Often times those who came worked jobs that were lower on the economic ladder just to have a job. Our country came to depend on that labor. People who would pick fruits and vegetables, take care of our elderly in nursing homes, change bed pans in hospitals, cut the grass at your country club, wash dishes, pick up trash, take care of your children. We needed them.

Then we elected people who tried to keep people out of the country. Yes, they said they didn’t want illegal immigrants, but they also made it difficult and unwelcoming for legal immigrants. Soon we became a country that many people we would be happy to have here didn’t want to come to.

Over the last few years the number of new people coming in legally has fallen to a new low, according to Pew Research. More Mexican born immigrants are returning to Mexico than come, both legal and illegal. Why should you care?

This weekend three successful restaurants in Durham, Vin Rouge, Mateo and Gocciolona had to be closed on a weekend night due to lack of staff. These are small businesses that can not survive long without enough staff. The lack of immigration is hurting American business owners as well as their employees.

As baby boomer age, they retire and there are not enough workers to back fill their jobs. Many of the people who are “America First” are not going to have people to take care of them in their golden years.

We need to become a more friendly and welcoming country again. People who say they don’t want “others” to come and take their jobs are not the ones trying to hire people to keep their businesses alive. There are more jobs than people willing to work them. It is going to take time to earn back our reputation as a good place to move to as an immigrant.

Immigrants built this country. It has kept the country growing and thriving. We can’t just be a country of tech workers, we need workers at all levels. If you are worried about inflation let more immigrants in to work.

Shay’s Day

Our sweet girl Shay Shay turns 11 today! According to the Pedigree dog site she and I about the same age. It’s hard to tell exactly since labradoodles are not a breed and they never have doodle mixes on any of those websites. It’s kind of like having a name that was never made into a bike license plate. No matter how many times you search for yours you know it is not going to show up.

It is hard to remember life in our house before Shay became our queen. Carter was 12, and Russ was in his forties, oh so long ago.

We got Shay from down under labradoodles in Raleigh. We knew plenty of Shay’s cousins and loved their temperament. We had to have a recommendation from one of them to be considered to adopt Shay. She was one of three in a very small littler. Carter and I went over to Raleigh to meet the puppies when they were about five weeks old. The breeder was going to chose which one was right for us based on our visit.

Carter wanted the overly excited girl, but I secretly wanted the snuggly Shay and that is who we got. My father had given me a big check for my big birthday earlier in the month so I spent half of it getting Shay. She has been worth every penny.

Tonight Russ went to the store and bought a small package of ridiculously over priced steak tips. I cooked them up for her and she enjoyed them dramatically. She knew it must be her birthday because that is the only time there is steak in our house, let lone she gets it.

Happy Birthday to the best dog ever, the chairman of Ways and Means and proud ignorer of other dogs. We hope you have many more happy birthdays. You bring us great joy.

Still Working Nights

When I sold OPEX machines part of my job responsibility was to train the employees of buyers how to use the equipment. In the beginning most of my customers only worked day shifts so no big deal. Then I started to have more savvy customs who started running equipment on night shifts. Then I started having customers who ran three shifts.

It was not that hard to teach people how to use the small machine so training the night shift was a two hour job. But then Russ invented this monster machine, and it took days or nights to train people. If they ran three shifts I could work a twenty hour day easily. The price I paid for making the big bucks.

When I left OPEX I thought my life of ever having to work nights was over. I became a consultant so I often was flying at night so I could get into a clients and work all day. Flying at night is not as bad as training at night. Then I retired from that job. I thought I would not work nights ever again.

Now here I am teaching Mah Jongg at night. Tonight I taught in Ashboro, an hour and fifteen minutes from home. Teaching Mah Jongg is way more fun than training people to use an OPEX machine, but working nights is still work. I wonder if I will always say yes to work at nights? I could say no, but hate to disappoint people who have to work all day and can only learn Mah Jongg at night.

Making up for the Market

Yesterday was a crazy day. I cooked and cleaned all day as we were having Russ’ work leadership team for dinner. As a bonus his retired CFO Judy, was coming to spend the night with us as she had an appointment in Durham. It was a fun dinner and people stayed late until I told them it was a school night and they had to go back to their hotel.

Consequently Russ, the true introvert, passed out the second they all left. I, the off the scale extrovert, was up until 2 pm, trying to get to sleep. It didn’t help that I was having leg cramps in my left leg. After two hours of sleeping the cramps came back and I mistakenly woke Russ up at four when I got out of bed to drink more water to help my cramps. Then he was up.

All this is my explanation why I was so worthless today. After breakfast and visiting with Judy I ran some errands and met my friend Jan for lunch. We figured out we hadn’t seen each other in seven weeks, which is just crazy. I was so tired from lunch I went home and lay on the bed. I didn’t want to take a nap and get myself messed up for another bad night’s sleep. I didn’t want to see any news as the Stock market was diving. So I decided to play Mah Jongg online.

I played five games, reading email in between games. I won them all, even two singles and pairs hands. I thought, “Typical, I’m losing real money in the market, but I’m winning worthless points at Mah Jongg.” At least it made me feel like a winner.

For all my students you can see that you can win hard hands. You can see from the time in the upper left hand corner that I played those five games, bang, bang, bang in a row. I would rather have the market go up.

Pub In Heaven

This would have been my Dad’s 84th birthday. It is the first one with him gone. In this day last year I called him to wish him a happy birthday. While we were on the phone I mentioned to him that he had missed my 60th birthday two weeks before. He said, “I have a lot of guilt about that.”

I knew then that things with him were really not good. He had never missed my birthday. And if he had realized it and actually had guilt he would have made it up in a big way. It was obvious that he had completely forgotten about my birthday. He was certainly not himself. Not that he would let on to anyone that he needed help. He was much to stubborn and proud to do that.

So happy heavenly birthday to Ed. I hope you are having a great time with all your pals and that heaven has a good pub, where you can sit in the garden and enjoy a pint.

Can’t Beat A Southern Hostess

When the club I had been teaching Mah Jongg at decided that classes were taking up too much space and time, thanks to their overwhelming popularity, I had to move to teaching at people’s homes. Thanks to so many wonderful and kind women, classes have continued seamlessly.

Today I had back to back classes. First at the Kelly’s beautiful home, where she had everything set up and ready to go early in the morning. Her sweet dog Jewel greeted me and made me happy to be teaching at her house.

I had a one hour break between classes so I moved all my equipment to Dell’s house for the next class. Dell had invited me to have lunch with her before class. Having lunch makes me a much nicer teacher.

When I got to Dell’s I was met by her sister Julie, who is also in the class. She told me Dell had to run to the oral surgeon for an x-ray, but Dell had made my lunch. This was totally unnecessary. She could have told me she needed to go and I could have grabbed something.

Julie showed me into my place for lunch. It was beautifully set with a placemat and napkins. A chef salad, pimento cheese and cracker, cookies and a drink. That kind of hospitality is more than I expected, deserved or needed, but it did not go unnoticed.

Dell eventually made class and said we would have lunch next week between my two classes. Southern women are just such thoughtful hostesses.

Fire Pit Respite

It’s been a long couple of weeks. Lots of fun packed into a short period of time. I am not complaining, just feeling my age. Today we had a celebration breakfast at church to kick off the last leg of our Opening Doors campaign to pay for our new fellowship hall. It was a nice turn out of friends. I was happy to see people and enjoy a delicious breakfast in the building I love.

After church Russ and I had work to do to get ready for a dinner we are hosting here Tuesday night for his work. I am always happy to have his team for dinner, I just wish I had more time to get ready. Just when I think I am making headway on cooking or cleaning Shay comes in the house covered in burrs. This required me to pull or cut them out of her for an hour. No one was happy about that.

The treat for the day was dinner at our friends Hannah and Mick, with Michelle and Boris. Hannah and Mick have not just one fire pit, but two! One is outside their deer fence on the edge of a mountain. The second is up on their terrace behind their house. There was nothing more restorative than sitting by the fire with friends and having a great meal.

We need a fire pit. But first we need a renovation of our side yard, with an outdoor kitchen, covered sitting area and fire circle. It’s so much work and so much planning, but after sitting by Hannah and Mick’s fires I think we need it sooner rather than later. When will we have time to do this, who knows? I hope if we build it we will have time to enjoy it.


Feels like we have lost our traveling stamina after the two year pandemic break. Russ and I went to Chicago three weeks ago. Last weekend we went to the coast. This week we were in Boston. Used to be a normal schedule back in the good ‘ole days. Now we are wiped out.

Shay too is not used to this pace. She went to her sitters this week and when we were in Chicago. Last weekend she was with us, but the thing that all that had in common is she was with packs of dogs the whole time. Shay is definitely an dog-introvert. She is no pack animal. She likes to be the sole Princess. Have her people all to herself. Sleep where and when she likes it.

When we picked her up this afternoon she was wiped. The look she gave us was, “I am not leaving the house ever again.”

I am with her. I would like to have a little time off. Too bad it’s not going to happen like that. I am booked up to my eyeballs. At least I get to sleep in my own bed for a while. That is going to be what I do right now.

Fenway Graduation for the Win

Thank god we don’t have another child because it would be hard to beat having their graduation any place but Fenway. Today was the nicest day of the year so far in Boston. Perfect for us parents in the stands, perhaps a little too hot for the graduates seated in the out field. You realize how big Fenway is when you seat close to 4,000 students and they are no where near second base. It took over an hour for them to all process in from three different portals.

The parents and guests did a good job of practically filling the stands. Considering that we sat there for a couple of hours before the show began everyone was very well behaved. The happiness quotient helped.

The speakers were excellent. President Aoun summed up what Northeastern is about by saying the experience transformed your learning. He encouraged kids to not have a set path because an unscripted life is full of opportunities. The student speaker encouraged her classmates to enjoy the little things NOW and not to wait.

The view from Carter’s seat

The keynote was Hamdi Ulukaya, the founder of Chiobani yogurt. He said he looked at other graduation speeches where they gave lists of ten pieces of advice. He started, first eat Chiobani Yogurt, second, be nice to your Mom. That was it, nothing else which pleased this mother so.

He went on with lots of other great advice like, “ You can ignore bad things or you can work to change them.” He said there is nothing more rewarding than showing up for others.

My favorite thing he said was, “Don’t turn away from things that make you uncomfortable. Comfortable people don’t do shit.”

He told the kids that despite some people calling them snow flakes, he knows that they are not. He said of this generation that they are survivors. He is certainly right given all that they have seen in their lives from 9/11, the crash of 2008, political turmoil, climate change, racial inequities, the global pandemic and the unwarranted war in Ukraine.

I was quite inspired by the kids today and the advice they got. I got a little teary. Thank goodness for this group of young people. Our world needs them.

After everything was over we streamed out of Fenway and miraculously reunited with Carter. The last of the official celebrations. We are thrilled and exhausted. Good job to her. Now go out and save the world.

Packing It In

Russ flew in bright and early this morning to join the festivities.he went straight to Carter’s and I walked over to school to meet them at the Explore event. It was so wonderful to meet the people Carter worked with for four years. I felt like I knew them already from the stories Carter has told. The Explore program is the best part of Carter’s college experience and I was thrilled with how much she grew from working at it.

I got a big hug from his friend Cameron, who I had never met, but he said he felt like he know me and I felt the same way about him. We walked through Campus meeting other friends as we did and went to Carter’s religious studies event, but her favorite professor was not there so we moved on.

Carter was getting her hair done so I walked up to beacon Hill to meet her and her best friend Estelle. After the hairdo we went to the Public garden to take some photos in her cap and gown. Actual just her gown since she just had her hair done. Thank goodness Estelle was there as stylist and photo aid.

After walking home I actually laid down to rest. My legs were still sore from my steps yesterday and today I only got 16,000. Russ and I went to meet Carter and Estelle at No. 9 Park for the big celebratory dinner. Now we are all dead. We have time to rest since the final actual graduation is tomorrow at five at Fenway. We will be walking there!


Today was my light day of Graduation celebrations, but somehow I packed too much in. Carter went to work first thing this morning leaving me at her apartment to pack up and make it look like I had never been there, or that a maid had been there. My college friends Suzanne and Sally were coming into town for a small reunion. I took Carter’s keys because I had trouble with her spare key.

We met at the Boston Public Library since we spend many hours discussing books. The old section of the library is about the most beautiful public building I have ever been in. As we wandered the rooms we found it hard to discuss all the important topics we had to cover. So when we got to the mural room, which had no books or people we perched on the benches and gabbed away. Feeling slightly sacrilegious for our mundane chatter in such a hallowed hall we decided to walk to the public gardens.

The late and cold spring meant that the greens were in full bloom now. The tulips were up, the fruit trees were blossoming and the trees were budded out in glorious green. There we perched again to continue our yakking on frivolous topics that brought us great pleasure.

We sauntered down Marlborough street to our lunch destination. Once there we dragged out lunch for a good two and a half hours. Still there were topics we had not yet touched on. We walked back to Carter’s apartment where Suzanne had left her car and picked up my suitcase and ran an important errand in Brookline. Suzanne dropped us off at my hotel and Sally walked to the train station to get home.

I changed my clothes and walked up the park strip of Commonwealth, back through the grande so to Beacon Hill to meet Carter and her friend Olivia for dinner at a lovely restaurant on Carter’s new street. It was a long, leisurely meal. The only real graduation celebration of the day. Exhausted, Carter and I Ubered home, with her dropping me first at my hotel.

As soon as I was in my room I stripped off my clothes and put on my night gown and my phone rang. Before I could answer it I realized that I had Carter’s house keys. It was Carter. We made a plan to meet somewhere not quite in the middle.

I had to go through the painful experience of putting my clothes, meaning my bra, back on. I walked towards Carter’s and she walked toward me and we made the hand off. I got back to the hotel and checked my step count for the first time today to discover I had walked over 27,000 steps today.

Tomorrow is our early day. I wonder if I will recover by then?

Graduation Extravaganza

We made our hotel reservations for Carter’s graduation a year in advance. Then she finished a semester early. There was no ceremony for December graduates so I was happy we had these reservations for the May festivities. After all that advance planning Carter called three months ago and said that her college of science graduation was the day before the day we made reservations for. She really wanted me to come so she invited me to stay with her since every hotel is booked.

Carter texted me this selfie from the parking garage, awaiting the processional

I am so glad I came. This was the ceremony where she got to walk across the stage and they read her name and shook her hand. The event was held in Mathew’s arena and Carter had to be in the parking garage at 4:30 to line up. I went over at 5:30 to sit in the audience. All the hard core parents who had lined up hours in advance had already staked their place in the bowl seats. They were dressed up and had signs and even a couple of noise makers.

I circled the arena and found the stairs to the balcony cheep seats. Score! I was able to get the front row of the balcony with leg room and an excellent view. I made friends with a women who worked at the psychology department who came to cheer for her work study student whose Parents had made the same reservations I had. (Seems like we should have been told about this ceremony a year in advance too.) Then a nice family with a daughter graduating, sat on the other side and we struck up a friendship too.

The procession started at six. We had been told the whole thing would go until 9:30, which seemed very long. Amazingly Carter saw me as she processed in and waved. She ended up sitting in a row right below me so my seat was perfect.

The speaker was a great woman named Dr. Shetty, who founded Ginko Bioworks. She encouraged the students not to pick a Job, but instead pick a problem and try and solve it, to live cheaply so you have freedom and chose a path of things that interest you. All great advice.

Then the Dean of the college of Science spoke and said, “There is no winner in life, just like there is no loser. Do something useful and laugh a lot.” Again a great message.

That was it for speeches. The giving out of the degrees took under two hours, but each student had a Slide with their photo, name, degree and a quote or words of thanks. It was very nice for such a big school.

My newly created posse in the front row of the balcony all cheered and screamed Carter’s name when she got her degree. It was no musical instruments, but nice to have a chorus when it was just me up there.

The whole thing ended by 8:30, a whole hour less than advertised. Thank goodness. Carter and I walked the very short walk to the Westland restaurant on her street. People on the street said congratulations as she was still wearing her regalia. It was a nice way to start the celebrations, of which there are many.

Damn Hand Maids

I’m furious with Margaret Atwood. If she had never written Hand Maids Tale many of these old white men politicians would not have gotten the idea that women can be put back in the fifteenth century. What the hell is going on. First the leak that the The Supreme Court has a draft out to repeal Roe, then Mitch McConnell announces that if Republicans take back the Senate they want to outlaw abortions in the whole country, now the Governor of Mississippi is considering ruling out other contraception. WTF?

Not wanting to have an abortion yourself is your decision. Deciding it for another human should not be your decision. Some religions believe life begins at conception, but not all religions. So now one religion gets to impose their religious beliefs on all others? What about those who have no religion? That is their right.

Things are getting out of hand fast. I know that many men have felt like everything that they controlled in the 1950’s has been taken away from them so if they can keep women barefoot and pregnant they might get back to being in charge of everything. I know it’s not all men and there are anti-choice women. But if women can’t have control of their reproductive rights something’s got to give. It probably should be sex with men. All that viagra and no place to put it.

Men can not have their cake and eat it to. No contraception, no access. Men really should stay out of the abortion fight all together and just let the women fight it out. No womb, no vote.

Happy Mother’s Day

It’s Mother’s Day in America. A day to celebrate your mother. I was not with my mother today, but still spoke with her. Sadly she was a little under the weather. It has been quite a year for her. Last year at this time we had just moved her out of her Washington Apartment and were gearing up to move her out of her farm. Then she and my Dad moved into a new house. My Dad died three months later. She has now made the decision to move to a retirement community here in Durham. That is a lot of change in one year.

I am proud of how well she has adjusted to all these changes. I am especially thankful for my sister Janet for helping marshal her through these things with me.

I am hoping that by next mother’ day it will have been a much less eventful year. My Mom deserves things to slow down. So for now, I am wishing my Mom good heath and the ability to sleep through the night. Happy Mother’s Day!

Dog Parade

The best thing about visiting our friends Lane and Jon is the constant and ever changing dog parade. They have four rescues that add up to about a Shay and a half. Shay likes these friends, but they do tire her out quite a bit.

When I tell you what we did today you will understand how much life around here revolves around dogs. When we eventually got dressed we went on a walk that resembled a parade, five dogs walking four humans through the woods looking for owls. No owls were found, but the dogs did have fans.

Then after lunch we went for a ride on the boat. Four dogs rode mostly on the bow, regardless of the speed. Shay rode in her Daddy’s lap as she was the only dog who did not pass the swim test and needed to wear a life preserver. It was a good accessory as it gave us a handle to lift her on and off the boat with.

After a wild ride it was time for a beauty pageant photo shoot. Petunia, the one with the snaggle tooth and two different color eyes does not like to look at the camera as she views it as soul stealing. She would always win miss congeniality.

I am uncertain who is more tired, but I know that Shay will sleep well tonight. All this dog extroversion is hard.

Tired Old Lady

I’m tired and late to be getting to my blog. We are at our friend’s house at the beach. They have a house of dogs so Shay gets to come. She is exhausted from being with four other dogs. She did fairly well going on the boat with all the dogs, but now she is hiding in our room fast asleep. She was mad that we left her with the pack for so long.

We went to dinner at a very fancy French restaurant tonight. When we arrived a server came up to us and asked, “Has anyone greeted you yet?” We said, “No,” expecting her to do it, but instead she said, “Let me see if I can get someone to greet you.”

In my cheeky way I replied, “You could greet us.”

She ignored my offer and left us standing at the door. Eventually an older woman came along and said Hello and brought us to our table.

Later in the meal a young man who appeared to be afraid to speak to customers dropped our plates on our table ran away. I was interested in getting some pepper so when he ran back by, I asked for some and as he was running away from me he said, “I’m the runner, ask your server.”

This French restaurant obviously had very clearly delineated lines of responsibility. “Not my job” should be the theme of their HR handbook. It is very French.

Our server was lovely and our dinner was excellent. I just wish that service in good restaurants was more professional. Today the best service I get is from Chick-fil-a. They could teach the French restaurant a thing or two. It is always their pleasure to serve you at Chick-fil-a, regardless of their actual job.

I have definitely turned into an old lady now. Perhaps I am just tired and need a good nights sleep.

Covid Immunity Report

Seems like Covid is increasing here in Durham. I know a few people who have gotten it recently. The good news is they don’t seem to be terribly sick. Everyone in my house had it at the same time over Christmas. We laid low and got over it. I was having blood work a couple weeks ago and my doctor threw in two antibody tests just for fun.

Four months after contracting Covid I thought I might be able to contract Covid again if I wasn’t careful. Turns out that my antibodies were still going strong. There were two tests. One for antibodies to the big round circle of SARS Covid 2 and one for the Spike part of it. For the semi-Quant the reference interval, meaning you are negative for the antibodies is <0.8, my reading was >2500.00, meaning I was at the top of the testing range and they couldn’t see exactly how many I had because they had to stop counting.

For the spike semi-quant IgG the reference Interval is negative at <13.0 and I was >800.00. Again at the top of the counting range.

It will be interesting to get tested again in a few months to see what happens to my immunity. I had my booster before I got Covid and have not had a second booster yet since my immunity is so high. I am very interested in seeing what my numbers do. I am documenting it here in my blog so I can find the information easily in the future. Lord knows how long we might be tracking this thing.

I tell you all this to say that if you don’t have many co-morbidities, and can survive the infection you may be protected for a while. I am not a Medical person, I have no expertise, I am just sharing my experience.

To my friends who are currently sick, I am sending you good wishes for a quick recovery and lots of antibody building.

Despair over What Might Become of Roe

I am more than distressed about the impending Supreme Court’s decision overturning Roe. As I have always said, if you don’t like abortion no one is forcing you to have one. But there are many cases where terminating a pregnancy is the life saving measure. Consider this tue story, I won’t tell you who the person is, but I can vouch for it’s authenticity.

A mother, with multiple children under ten, developed a life threatening condition that required a major operation. When she went into the hospital to have the life saving surgery the Doctor discovered she was pregnant. There were two choices, keep the pregnancy, and not do the operation, which would mostly like mean neither the mother nor the fetus would survive, or abort the fetus and have the life saving operation so that the mother could live to care for her already existing children.

The second option was the one the doctor and the patient agreed on. It was a medical decision between the two of them. No government intervention, as the government has no business in that situation. If Roe is overturned there are already many states who would make that situation against the law.

What has happened to this country that so many people think that they should have a say in a woman’s medical decisions? I notice no one is up in arms about legislating men’s medical decisions. What if we said that only men who are actively trying to conceive a baby, with their legal wife, can get a prescription for Viagra. Viagra is one of the most prescribed medications in America. In order to prevent potential abortions we should have say in who can take it. Perhaps we should have a local board of your neighbors who decides who can get Viagra. We certainly don’t want men who might impregnate women who don’t want a baby to have a leg up, so to speak.

I’m not meaning to be flip about this for it is a very serious situation. But it feels like all the legislation hurts women and men are off the hook. Well, you men who are against Roe, I suggest you keep everything zipped up. Child support is a big kick in the wallet. Be careful what you wish for. The law of unintended consequences is more powerful than you think.


Birthdays in the realm of the digital are way better than in the analog world.  The only problem is one is so inundated all day with kind and heartfelt messages from friends, near and far, and even some people you hardly know, that you hardly have time to do anything else on your birthday.  I am not complaining.  Thanks to all you friends who made my day special.

Besides the digital well wishers I had a very fun in person day.  Lunch with some friends at the Wadu, my favorite outdoor special lunch spot.  I have to say the Food and beverage manager really came through, providing the regular menu and not the graduation week menu and we all had the chopped salad.  He even gifted me mine!  Thanks, James Holcomb.  

I came home to a giant floral display on my front porch – Three beautiful arrangements.  It took an effort to get them all in the house.  I opened the cards on each and all three were from my sister Janet!  Way over the top Sista J! One would have been spectacular, but 3!  I called to ask her if she had just given the florist such a big budget that they had to break it into three arrangement.  She said she wanted me to have flowers in multiple rooms.  I am just going to say I’m sorry you all don’t have her as your sister, because I am winning the best sister contest.

Another friend, Laurie, left me a present in the garden.  A potato growing bag, planted with Yukon gold potatoes.  I’ve never grown potatoes before and am looking forward to this adventure.  You grow them in the bag! Who knew?

A big deal happened because Russ came home early from work.  Now that he has gone back to work in the office I miss having him around.  He gave me a gift he sneakily bought in Chicago without my knowing.  I was very unsuspecting.  Carter called and we celebrated.  She gave me the best gift yesterday, tickets for us to see Funny Girl in NYC with her.  I love experiences best of all.

My mom called and both Mom and my father-in-law gave me needlepoint so I am set.  I could hardly ask for a better birthday.  I was sorry that a few friends were sick and I wish them a fast recovery.  

It was a fantastic birthday. Needless to say I ignored all news today so I could have a good day. And it was, thanks to you!

30 Fabulous Years

On this day, twenty years ago, I was sitting at lunch with Carter who was three and a half. I told her that it was Daddy and My tenth wedding anniversary. Since she was already good at math, she looked at me and said, “Where are all the other kids then?” I guess her three year old mind thought that you get married and children automatically come along. Maybe she thought they were like wedding presents.

I had to explain to her that we had a life before she was born and we waited until we got just her. She was worth waiting for. That didn’t satisfy her, she wanted some older siblings.

So here Russ and I are, married thirty years and are happy as the newlyweds we were. No kids at home. So Russ gives me this card this morning and I laughed for about twenty minutes.

I am so lucky that he kept at me in those years when he knew me at work and I didn’t pay any attention to him. I am very thankful that his boss, Bill Lile, sent out that company wide email, “Please congratulate Russ Lange for getting his Masters in Electrical Engineering at night, while working full time. He also just was awarded five patents.” After I read that I wanted to know who this brilliant guy was and lo and behold it was that engineer who had been hanging around me on business trips, but I didn’t give the time of day to.

As I told Carter when she was 13, “If you are looking at someone you think you like, turn around and notice who is looking at you.”

I am one lucky girl that Russ Lange liked the way I presented his inventions to rooms full of strangers, who after my exciting description of all the features would buy them like hot cakes. I just thought he was one of those strangers. Thank goodness he is so tall and he was hard to ignore. Happy 30th to the best husband I could ever have. I couldn’t invent a better one.

I’m Late

How did it get to be May already? One third of the year is gone and I have hardly blinked. Now that we are a family who does not have to follow the academic calendar things should be different. We should be able to enjoy each month, instead they have flown by unappreciated. When Carter lived at home May was the busiest month of the year. It was exams, and end of year celebrations at school. We don’t have that. We still have our anniversary tomorrow, my birthday the next day and Mother’s Day next weekend. In between is May the Forth be with you, Cinco de Mayo and Derby Day. See everyday in May is a holiday, at least the first week. Oh Yeah it’s May Day today, without a maypole we didn’t really celebrate it.

I have yet to put any flowers into pots or totally finish my vegetable garden. The front zinnia garden has not been planted and my terrace has no flowers. All because I didn’t realize it was May already. I could blame our very long and cold spring. Maybe my teaching schedule or travel. But I used to be much busier and still had time to get those things done. Perhaps I am just getting older. I may not be as productive. Maybe I don’t have any events at my house that make me spruce everything up.

Russ used to ask me if we could have a dinner party. What he really wanted was for me to clean off the kitchen counters and he knew a party meant it would get done. We haven’t had a party in years, two to be exact. Maybe it’s time to plan some parties. I guess I should go buy some plants and give them to Russ for our anniversary. That might be the only way things get done. It’s May. I’m late. Before I know it it will be September.

Big Durham Morning

I have been away a lot. Being away even a little feels like a lot since we hardly went anywhere for two years. Two weeks ago I planted about a third of my garden. It was still a bit colder than I would have liked it so I held off from putting too much in in case the frost got it. I am happy to report the tomatoes, spinach, lettuce, squash, peppers, basil, arugula, cucumbers and cilantro have all survived. Then we went to Chicago and Kinston and no one tended my garden. It all survived.

Today’s assignment was to purchase more plants and fill in what was missing. Off to the farmer’s market we went. I got more cucumbers, zucchini, red and green okra, butternut squash, eggplant, dill, and a real first for me, passion fruit. I had no idea that passion fruit could grow in North Carolina, but I will try as they are my favorite fruit.

After the farmer’s market Russ and I went to Grub for breakfast. We ate on the terrace and ran into the same father and his two little daughters who ate breakfast next to us two weeks ago at Press. We joked about meeting up for breakfast again.

After our eggs Russ wanted to stop at the Durham co-op to get some things. The last time I had been in the co-op it was still in an old building on Chapel Hill street. Now the co-op is in a new building with parking, still on Chapel Hill Street but perpendicular to the street.

Since we had been at the farmer’s market the produce could not interest us, but we perused the aisles and were very impressed with the offerings. Any food manufacturer in Durham seemed to be for sale in the co-op, from Melina’s Pasta to Foster’s red pepper jelly. If you needed gluten free there were loads of choices. Organic, well needless to say most stuff was organic. The cheese counter was beautiful and Russ liked the cider offerings. The truffle selection was extraordinary.

We picked up a few things. At check out they asked us if we were owners. We are not. The clerk gave us the flyer about becoming an owner. $100 for a one time fee and then you get 20% everything you buy. What a deal. It pays for itself in the first $500 of groceries.

It was a good Durham morning. Reminding me why I love living here. I went home and put in my plants, using the last of my homemade compost as I did. A mother and daughter walking their dog stopped by to inspect my work. The mother was visiting from Virginia and asked if she could take photos to copy my design. Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

My Favorite Compliment

A lot of packages arrived at our house today. More than the normal amount for people who rarely darken the doors of a store except to buy food. I had ordered some summer clothes as I am outgrowing my pre-pandemic wardrobe. I know that I should do my best to fit in to what I own, but fear that until I am able to, I should not go around naked. Also, it seems like I lose weight when I have bought bigger clothes and shrink out of them. Please god, let that be the case this time.

Besides, the clothes and the “cloth” paper towels I ordered from “deals and steals” there were two unexpected packages. One from my father-in-law that Russ says is an anniversary gift. I don’t believe that anyone other than the married couple needs to give a gift for your anniversary. Since it may be a ceramic Chicken I am going to wait and let Russ open that box on our actual anniversary. That might be my present to him for 30 years of blissful commitment. Being married to me is the gift he gets everyday, (cough, cough.)

The last package in the giant pile was an Amazon box. I had no recollection of ordering something, but I never know when Russ’ auto ship of freeze dried liver treat for Shay is coming so I opened it.

Immediately I recognized the overly expensive Amazon Gift wrap bag of some kind of woven/pressed-paper/cloth-like drawstring bag that acts as gift wrapping for a mere six dollars. Maybe it’s three, but the bag costs them a nickel, making it the biggest profit item in the whole company.

I read the gift tag. “Happy Birthday to the best story teller I know. Love You, Suzanne.” Then under the typed message was, “From Suzanne E. Worden”. That line is obviously added by Amazon to cut down on the number of calls they might get from gift receivers wondering exactly who sent them the gift. I would have known without that added line that the gift is from my college best friend Suzanne because only a best friend thinks you are the best at anything.

Before I even loosened the draw string on the not-quite-fabric, not-quite-paper bag to discover the gift, I was already thrilled with the card. Being told I was Suzanne’s favorite story teller was the best gift I could ever get considering I know many of the fabulous story tellers in her life. As the learned writer, with a masters in Journalism from Columbia, that she is, Suzanne is a continuing student of writing and the most voracious reader I know.

I am not a writer of her caliber. I am much more at home as an in-person storyteller, playing off the reactions of my audience. This is the difference between an introverted writer and an extroverted story teller.

The gift turned out to be a book by a writing professor, George Saunders, called A Swim in a Pond in the Rain. With the sub title, In which four Russians give a master class on writing, reading and life. I think, but don’t know, that Suzanne might have had this book as part of a curriculum for one of her writing classes, but I have not heard back from her to confirm it.

I read the prologue and love the idea of this book. We shall see if it can have any impact on my writing. I am an undisciplined yet prolific writer as I have written this blog everyday going on thirteen years now. I do not let the writing take more than twenty minutes a day and have no editor. All writers benefit greatly from an Editor. I would do well to just reread what I type before I post, but my time restraints often don’t allow me the luxury of even doing that. So dear gentle readers often send me messages pointing out spelling mistakes, grammatical errors or misused words. I welcome the corrections along with those who argue against my point of view or observations.

I would much prefer a group of friends I could tell my daily story to. I know the stories would be much more colorful, entertaining and probably funny if you were here in person.

Thanks to my practically life-long friend Suzanne, for giving me this best compliment and interesting book. I fear I might learn from it that I should spend more time thinking about my writing than I do now. Sadly that would rob me of time I get to spend with real people, having experiences that become the fodder for my stories. After all, I write a story a day and if you have read me for even one month of 156 I have written, something story worthy does not always happen everyday. Today is a day I will remember because I got the best compliment I could ever ask for. Love you too Suzanne.

No Grades In My Classes

No one gets a grade in Mah Jongg. Friends come to learn and their avid attention helps them become better players. Despite the lack of an actual reward from me, as their teacher, my last group of Kinston students treated me so specially you would think they were vying for a better grade.

Before I even got there Kristi got all the classes organized. Jane hosted me, calling me to inquire what I wanted for breakfast day ahead of time. She and her husband Warren had a dinner party for me one night where Molly brought a lemon pie for dessert and Mary Ann a bottle of wine. We went to Chef and the Farmer dinner the second night and Ann and Becky joined us. The comfy bed in their beautiful farm house would have been more than enough, but Jane also gave me a book before we left for our last class today.

The first day of class Lee Van arrived with stunning yellow Peony from her garden, in a vase, announcing she was vying to be teacher’s pet. Kara bought my lunch the first day. Jo bought my lunch today. Debbie made muffins on the second day and took a group picture on the last, (sadly, Kristi and Kara missed the photo.) Then while I was teaching the beginner class Debbie snuck back in and left me a gift. It was the class photo in a fabulous frame.

Suzanne announced she wanted to take any class I would teach two or three times and her sister Nancy agreed. Even previous students, Ann and Boo came by to see me, despite not being able to come to class.

All these kindnesses to me and not one of them got a better grade because of it. What I get out of teaching Mah Jongg is so much more than the people get who are learning. I appreciate their attention, thoughtful questions, kindness to each other, their curiosity, diligence, stick-to-it-ness, laughter, patience and generosity, especially to me.

Fun Filled Day

There are some days that are so full there is hardly anytime left to write. Today was one of those days. It started out with a lovely bite to eat with Warren and Jane Brothers before Jane and I left for Mah Jongg. The Kinston Country Club has been a wonderful host to these two classes.

The morning strategy class was overrun with treats from the should-be-prize-winning baker Debbie, who brought homemade muffins, while the club made their crave worthy cheese biscuits. Thank goodness I had just taken my medicine that means I couldn’t eat for an hour when all these baked goods came around. It is hard to eat, talk and teach at the same time.

We did some mind expanding exercises in the strategy class and my friends worked hard to incorporate the new knowledge into their play.

I was able to grab a quick bite of lunch and had to meet with a new student to catch her up on the class she missed. Then it was off to the beginner class. When I gave them group work they really put their heads down to figure out the answers.

After class I stopped at the fish market to order seafood to be packed for travel tomorrow. Russ will be getting some yummy fish this weekend.

I met Jane, Ann and Becky for dinner at the Chef and The Farmer. It was great to go there with locals who knew everyone. We got the Royal treatment. I have to say the butter bean hummus was the most yummy thing I have eaten in a while.

Jane and I headed home to see Warren, thinking we were going to have an earlier night than last night. I’m not sure what we were thinking as we stayed up and yucked it up at the kitchen table much too late. Now I am against a hard dead line to post something. I must try and get some sleep so I can finish strong at Mah Jongg Classes tomorrow. It will be bitter sweet to leave since I really adore this group of friends.

I Love Being Tricked

In January I had the great pleasure of teaching Mah Jongg to the most glorious group of women In Kinston. At that class I met the darling Jane Brothers who asked me where I was staying. When I told her the Mother Earth Lodge she said, “Well, you need to stay at my house. I have a bed and breakfast.” Since I enjoyed her so much I agreed to do that if I came back.

Fast forward a couple months and I got a call from the Kinston crowd that they wanted more lessons. I told the dear Kristi, who was organizing the class, that I needed to be in contact with Jane because I was going to stay with her. A day later Jane called me and announced that she was ready for me to come and stay with her and her husband Warren.

Today I arrived to two very full classes of wonderful students. Jane was in the first class and I met her back at her house after my second class. While we were lying around on the sofa recovering from our day talking I said, “Jane, I need to talk to you about your bed and Breakfast.” She was yet to get a credit card or anything from me.

That was when Jane confessed she hadn’t had the bed and breakfast in years, she just wanted me to stay with her. That was the best tall tale anyone has told me in a long time!

It has been a delight to be here with Jane, Warren and their very cute dog lucky. Warren took me on a tour of his organic farm. I felt I already knew him as I had watched him for years on the TV show a Chef’s Life with Vivian Howard. They have a wonderful farm house and invited friends from the Mah Jongg class to have dinner with us. Warren cooked salmon on his new fangled repurposed Weber grill that lost it’s legs and we ate lettuce, radishes, and beets from the farm.

My new favorite person is Jane Brothers. I knew it the first time I met her, but now she had solidified her standing after tricking me to stay with her. So much better than a motel.

Sharing the Celebration

One of the best things about getting older is you enjoy sharing your birthday with your friend. Today a group of my friends who all like to needlepoint got together to celebrate Michelle Beischer’s and my birthday. Michelle’s birthday was three days ago and mine is next week so sharing the celebration was a joyous way to spend time together.

Our friend Christy baked the most delicious and beautiful almond, white chocolate and raspberry cake. It is a good thing we had a doubled up our birthdays because we certainly did not need two cakes one week apart.

As a child there was a girl who was in my second and third grade classes who had the same birthday as me. I hated having to share my day with her. Perhaps it was because I did t like her much, but mostly because I was selfish and want the day to be all about me. How perfectly childish.

Now I love all my friends who share the same birthday with me. It is a nice club. I no longer care to have a day all to myself. I have learned that sharing it with friends makes it exponentially sweeter.

First Post Pandemic Flight

For all of my life I have been a traveler. It helped that my father worked in London when I was young and my first job out of college was that of a traveling salesman. Being a consultant with international clients eventually got me all over the world. Then in retirement I traveled with Russ as much as his job let me. So a two year plus break from going to the airport is the longest I have ever gone since childhood for flying on a trip.

I can’t say that I have missed flying, but I have missed spending the weekend in a fun far off city. When Russ had this trip to Chicago he asked if I wanted to go. It is our thirtieth anniversary next week and he had a lot to make up for In our twenty-fifth anniversary trip.

I am happy to say that I officially missed traveling. We didn’t have any major plans in coming here. We have spent lots of time in Chicago before. We just hung in the city, going to the art Institute, eating at interesting restaurants and walking our feet off. Well, mine were walked off and Russ just got his normal daily amount of steps.

Our best meal was at The Girl and The Goat. The staff was fantastic, belying the idea that there are no good service workers left. Although the best meal was there, the best thing we ate was at a little Oyster bar in Lincoln Park. It was thinly sliced lemons that were fried as part of calamari. There we had the most opinionated waitress who said after we were served that , “I would never recommend that dish.” She was wrong, it was the best thing we ate. Of course everything she recommended was twice as expensive as anything else. We didn’t get Oysters in the middle of the country.

Our best breakfast was at Eleven, a great Jewish Deli. It was so good we ate there twice. On those days we didn’t eat again until dinner. I am always happy at a Jewish Deli. The best thing on the menu there was “Guilt. $0, there is always plenty to go around.”

Our best activity, that I can talk about, was a visit to something called Mindworks, which is a kind of lab that the Booth school at U Chicago runs to do mind experiments on willing percipients. It is in a storefront on Michigan Ave. I was in an experiment that was supposed to be about memory. Another man and I were told to read a paragraph, then we were moved to a waiting room where we were told we had to stay in our seats for ten minutes. The lab assistant told us we could look at our phones. I leaned over to the man and told him he was not allowed to hit me and I wouldn’t hit him. As a nice older gentleman he readily agreed with me. The lab assistant shut the door and I asked the man where he was from. That is our family ice breaking question. He said Mexico City and a long conversation ensued.

At the ten minute mark the lab assistant took us back to our first room to answer questions on computers. They had nothing to do with the paragraph we read, but instead asked if we talked to each other and who talked first. After the experiment the lab assistant told me I was the fastest first talker she had ever had. Surprise, surprise. Russ was in a virtual reality experiment. The best thing about that is he learned he can use virtual reality with only one working eye.

Flying home was not so hard, but still the least good part of a great weekend. Russ goes back to the airport tomorrow for another business trip. I can see that we are quickly moving out of the pandemic life. Now I am wondering when I am going to have time for all my pandemic hobbies if I am going to travel again.

Really Old Married Couple

Russ and I are about to celebrate our 30th anniversary. In true fashion that we have been together so long, we bought practically matching shoes today. In Russ’ defense I forced him into the store. I am at the place in life that there is nothing better than a clean pair of sneakers. Thankfully the world has gotten so casual that everyone wears them everywhere.

As if it even matters what a sixty year old woman is wearing any way. No one is looking at me, or cares. So after my Christmas Red wool Allbirds purchase I decided I needed a summer pair. I just wanted white mesh sneakers that are so comfortable I can walk as long as I want.

Russ and I walked to the store. He thought he could wait outside like he does at all stores. I told him he had to come in since he had the wallet. I quickly found the pair of shoes I wanted. Tried them on and left them on, placing the shoes I was wearing in the box. I asked my sales girl what the biggest size the men’s came in. FOURTEEN! I asked her which ones were the narrowest. She showed them to me.

I asked Russ if he would try them on. He humored me. See, he wears a 14 AAA. That is an impossible shoe to find. These fit. He really didn’t want them, but the casual shoes he had with him had holes where his big toe popped out. He needed, not wanted, but needed new casual shoes. He did not say he liked them, but he wore them out of the store and out to dinner tonight.

We are now that old married couple wearing matching shoes. At least we don’t have matching outfits. He would look so much better in his than me so I will continue to wear different clothes.

Photo Blog

All photos, text to follow…

That one’s for Lynn

Florida is Not the Happiest Place on Earth

With all my apologies to my various family members who live in Florida, you officially live in the dumbest state ever. DeSantis is picking a fight with Disney he can’t win. He should have learned from North Carolina’s one term Republican governor who picked a fight over bathrooms, which was a law in search of a non-existent problem. When North Carolina tried to legislate which bathroom people could use we lost billions of dollars in revenue for the state. Now Florida stands to do worse.

The don’t say Gay law is a law in search of a problem that didn’t exist before. Disney should have spoken up for LGBTQ+ people while the bill was being debated. It waited and only after DeSantis signed the ridiculous law did they say something. Disney is the happiest place on earth. It’s a gay ‘ole time. It’s right to speak up on behalf of it’s cast members and the guests who visit.

Now DeSantis wants to punish Disney. Disney is the reason Florida has revenues to begin with. I was a kid when Disney world was conceived and was being built. I watched the Wonderful world of Disney every Sunday night at seven hanging on Walt’s every word about the new theme park. We begged my father to take us. He said not on his life would he take us to that swamp.

Because Central Florida was a swamp of nothingness before Mickey and Minnie made it home. Yes, Florida has beaches, but so do many states. People wouldn’t flock to Florida just for their beaches if Disney wasn’t there too. Now, Florida Law makers, without any time spent studying the consequences, passed a bill to take away a special tax status that Walt and Roy secured from Florida before they agreed to build there.

If Florida does revoke the Special status they will also inherit the $1.7 BILLION bonds that Disney owes for improvements, as well as have to set up all the “government” type services, like fire departments, police, etc. that Disney currently owns and runs. This assumes that it all happens without a raft of law suits from much smarter lawyers that Disney employees than the civil servants in Florida government.

All this fight with Disney does is brings attention to how unfriendly Florida is, not the nicest place on earth that Disney has created. There are lots of other places people from all over the world can visit and spend their money. Look how much North Carolina lost on one bathroom bill and we hardly have the same worldwide draw as Disney. In fact, when I worked in London and I would tell people I lived in North Carolina they would cock their head with a dazed look. I would follow up with, it’s between New York and Disney world and that gave them a point of reference they knew.

The right, in their efforts not to bother legislating something actually useful, but still wanting to gin up their base creates these non-problem issues and then doubles down when they are challenged.

My answer is to not give any revenue to Florida if I can help it. The state that has buildings full of sleeping residents collapse due to poor oversight is bad enough, but starting a war with Disney after creating a hostile community for LGBTQ+ people is unacceptable.

The only way that things like this can be stopped is if people of good conscious speak up and withhold revenue. It worked against the NC bathroom bill. When it hits Florida residents in the pocket book they will cry uncle, and not uncle Wiggly.

The Graduation Celebrator We Miss

The summer between my junior and senior year in college I worked in Pittsburgh selling cable television. It was a job that required a car since I sold in every neighborhood all over the city, depending on where the new cable was being built. One night we had a big team event and on my way home I got t-boned in an intersection and my car was totaled. My father happened to be in Pittsburgh that day, which was very comforting. He also went out the day after my accident and found me a “new” used car. It was a maroon Volvo sedan, the safest car he could think of.

I loved that car, but the day I graduated from college my mother put the dollar amount my father had paid for that car on a piece of paper on the refrigerator. Happy graduation, no present, you owe us this money. Since my parents had paid for my education it seemed only fair. Thankfully I got a job that provided me with a company car, so I sold that Volvo for $7,700, seven hundred more than my father had paid for it and returned the $7,000 to my parents. (Good thing I was good at sales.)

Last summer it dawned on me that I paid my parents back exactly what my father had paid, but he had gotten insurance on the car I totaled. I asked him about this when I thought of it. He said, “You are right, but I never told your mother that I got that insurance money.” I told him that was rough on me. He said, “Don’t worry, I will make it up to Carter when she graduates this year.”

Sadly he did not make it long enough to see her graduate. Even though she got her diploma in December, she is going to walk in graduation next month. We are going to celebrate and see her do it, especially since it will be at Fenway. I do wish my Dad had lived long enough to celebrate it with her. He would be very proud of how well she did and the job she got.

She also is not getting the present that would make up for his pocketing the insurance money, instead having me pay for the whole car. I’m not sure she is getting any presents at all for graduation. Not that she needs anything other than money to help her decorate her new apartment now that she will have a separate bedroom. Her grandfather would have been the big celebrator. We do miss that about him.

The Joy of Winners

Everyone wants to be a winner. That’s probably how we got to be a nation of participation trophies, just so people can think they are winners. I am not a believer in participation trophies. I like the feeling you get when you really win. My sweetest grandmother, Mima, was a big gamer. She would teach me every grown up game and play with me as hard as she could. I well remember playing gin rummy with her when I was five. She would inevitably beat me. My lip would quiver and she would quickly raise her pointer finger in the air and say, “No crying.” She never “let” me win. So when I did beat her it was a real triumph I would relish.

As grown ups we don’t do enough things we can win at, unless you sell something at work and can beat your competitors. So playing games is the best way to get that high feeling you get from winning.

Today was our last Mah Jongg Class at Chapel Hill Country Club. It also happened to be the club’s 100th birthday so they were having a big celebration. Champagne and cake were brought into our class. So when people won their game they not only had that fabulous feeling of doing something better than everyone else they also got a champagne toast.

I suggest you find something to compete at just for the sheer joy of winning. It might take you a while to win, but then when you do it will that much sweeter. So don’t settle on go fish with your grandchildren. Make it a challenge. I want to congratulate the winners today. This is just the beginning of your journey as a winner.

Dr. Day

Everybody dealt with doctors today. Russ had doctors. I took my Mom to Duke to have her sit around at the eye hospital for five hours to “see” doctors. I had my annual exam today.

I had to help my Mom check in online after she said she had already checked in. Five different codes later we final got into her MY Chart. We went through what felt like hundreds of illnesses she never had. I had done online check in for my appointment too. It took me fifteen minutes to input all my medications and supplements. And another fifteen to go through all the illnesses I never had. Then when I got to the doctor’s office they had me fill out three more pages. What the hell? My favorite question is “what was the date of your last period.” I just put down “a million years ago.” They have that information in their system better than I have it in my memory. You tell me.

I like my doctor. The funniest thing she told me today is that I have a small tight uterus and small ovaries. Isn’t that just perfect. On the outside I have big things, but on the inside, they are small. Why the hell can’t it be the other way around?

I also have small finger nails. That is the one big thing I wouldn’t mind having. I have small lips too. Yes, I wish they were bigger. I guess at my age just having working parts is a good thing.

As I watched how much time my parents spent going to doctors I am not looking forward to parts breaking down. I feel like we go to Dentists more than the average now and that is sure to go up. Oh, I also have small teeth.

Easter was Happening All Over

Our little family was all split up today. My mother came down to spend two nights with us for Easter. We went to church, where I was the lector so I didn’t even sit with my family. Thankfully the friends who sat near Russ also knew my mother. It was a beautiful day at church to have a full congregation, the Westminster Brass playing and the sun shinning as we came out. Russ commented that this was the first time we have had so many people in the courtyard with the reflection from the glass windows in the fellowship hall making it look like double the people.

We came home to our little Easter dinner that I made. Mom, even changed out of her church clothes before lunch so she was ready to help me plant my garden after lunch.

My sister Margaret had my sister Janet and Sophie over for Easter brunch and it looked like the bunny came with goodies for everyone. I think Margaret is just glad I was not there to steal all the good stuff like I did when we were kids.

Carter was looking forward to going to a Big Italian Easter with her friend Olivia at her parents house outside Boston. Then one of Olivia’s roommates came down with Covid so they could not go to Olivia’s family in order to protect her ninety something year old grandmother. So instead of them going there for Easter Olivia’s mother drove Easter into them in Boston. She even brought Carter an Easter basket along with a giant feast that Carter and Olivia were having at Carter’s apartment. There is nothing better than a mother you don’t know loving on your child.

Carter’s friend’s Mother Brought this to Carter
And filled her fridge with Easter Dinner

So we may have all been apart, but everybody had someone with them and everybody celebrated. For he is risen, he is risen indeed.

The Dog’s The Highlight

It’s opening week at the Durham Bulls and things aren’t going well. Tonight we went for our first game of the season and they were playing the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp. How scared should a bull be of a shrimp, jumbo or otherwise? Well it turns out plenty scared.

So with the Bulls not playing their best, especially the pitcher in the seventh inning who gave up five runs, we turned to the other fun activities that make up minor league baseball. Of course we have the always entertaining Wool E. Bull. I asked my friend Javoti, the on field announcer if There was a new guy in that Bull Head and he said yes. He seems like he will be a successful Bull so we are rooting for him.

The biggest “hit” of the night was Ripken, the bat dog. Ripken is a black lab who goes out and picks up the bats after the player has run off to first plate. Ripken was the most popular member of the team tonight. He only picks up the Bull’s bats. Those shrimp needed their own dog, but alas they had none.

Since our seats are right behind the Bull’s dugout we got to talk to Ripken’s trainer. They only come for Saturday night home games and Ripken has his own official Topps Baseball card.

All our friends at the game tonight agreed that the Dog was the highlight. There was some good playing and hits and runs were made, but when the Bulls gave up five in the seventh that was enough for me. Ripken had already departed, maybe he was the good luck charm that shouldn’t have left until the game was done.

It’s a Ramadan, Passover, Easter-Palloza

It only happens about every thirty-three years that The three most practiced religions in the US have major celebrations at the same time. Tonight Passover begins for Jewish friends and runs all week. Ramadan started April 2 and the daytime fasting and prayers last until May 1 for Muslim friends. And today is Good Friday and Holy Week wraps up with Jesus’ big day Easter Sunday for us Christians. Since Ramadan moves one month every year, it will be celebrated in every season over the course of a dozen years. So having all three major religions observing big things on the same weekend is a rarity.

First to my Jewish Friends I would like to wish you a sweet Passover. To my Muslim friends I wish you a blessed Ramadan. And to my Christian friends Happy Easter.

I am hopeful that all these celebrations at the same time remind us that we may pray differently, but we share in common tenants to be good people, love each other and do good in the world.

Not all religious followers are good at remembering these things, just as you don’t have to follow any religion to do these things. For me I am wishing the world peace and love during this Holy Week. We need a lot more compassion and working for the common good. No matter what you believe, if anything, good blessings on you.

Someone Is Always Awake

It’s 2:45 AM and someone is awake in our house. Two nights ago it was me. Last night it was Russ. I don’t know what is going on, but for some reason no one seems able to sleep past 2:45 everyday. There must be something going on in the universe.

I went to the dentist two days ago to get an old filing replaced. He asked how I was. I said, “Just exhausted because I have been since 2:45.”

He looked at me a little cross eyed. “You are the tenth patient day to tell me that.” I asked how many people he had seen in total and he said maybe 14. That is a high percentage to be awakened in the middle of the night.

There was no weather event that might have woken us. And it’s not just waking up and then going back to sleep. It’s waking up and not being able to go back to sleep.

As I child I was a professional sleeper. Even as a young adult I never had any trouble sleeping. I’m not in the throes of menopause. Russ is definitely not going through menopause. We just can’t sleep, at least not both on the same night.

If you need something in the middle of the night, go ahead and text me. I might answer.

When To Wash The Car?

If you live in North Carolinian you know it’s Yellow Season. That’s when irritating pollen rains down on everything, everywhere, all the time. This morning I got in my car, my very dirty car, and drove a quarter of a mile with the windows up and sneezed 15 really hard sneezes. Thank goodness there were very few cars on the road and no dog walkers because my eyes were forced shut at each sneeze. I don’t have allergies so I can only imagine what this year is like for those of you who suffer.

As I was driving I had to run my windshield washers to brush away enough pollen so I could see. I desperately need to wash my car along with the old land cruiser that lives next to it. We don’t have a four car garage so two cars live outside.

I am at a loss about when I should wash my car during the Yellow Season. I know you should not bother to wash if it it is going to rain the next day, but with the amount of pollen around I feel like washing it now just makes it a pollen magnet. Sure the dirt under the pollen is probably not helping repel the tiny spores. Yes, the inside needs to vacuumed because I can see a film of pollen inside. I just hate washing it and having it look like it wasn’t washed the next day.

I guess I just can’t win. I’m going to have to break down and wash it. Now I am wondering if there is some kind of filter I can put in my air vents that prevents pollen from getting inside the car. I only have the air recirculating inside already, not allowing new air in, but that doesn’t seem to stop this yellow. I am worried that if I keep having these big sneezes while I am driving I am sure to hit someone or something. Thank goodness I didn’t have an incontinent issue. Then I would definitely need detailing.

Like Getting Into College

Apologizes to anyone who is still waiting to hear if their child will be accepted into college as I liken Shay getting accepted by a groomer to the turmoil your family is going through. Since Carter got herself into college early we did not suffer. So it only seems fitting that we have had the trauma of having Shay turned down by multiple groomers.

Shay had been happy with a groomer up near Costco for years. Then they had to close due to the lack of available staff. That was at least four years ago and since then it has been one nightmare after another.

We had an excellent young woman, whose parents I knew. She came to the house and Shay got the full spa treatment at home and was very happy with that. Of course dog grooming was not her long term career so she left us after a while.

We found another mobile groomer, a sweet man who did an excellent job. He left the one company he was working for and did not show up for a scheduled appointment. The owner eventually called and said they were not servicing our neighborhood anymore. I could not imagine why they didn’t want to soak our neighborhood.

That guy eventually went to a new company and called to see if we wanted him. We did! Again he did not show up. Eventually his boss called and said they too were not servicing our neighborhood anymore. What is it about the dogs of Hope Valley?

The pandemic set in about then and Carter came home and she groomed Shay. It was better than a sharp stick in the eye, but her nails were never clipped as none of us could bear to do it. The hair between the D’s of her feet grew long and she started sliding down the wood stairs. Not good.

I asked everyone if they liked their groomers and got many names. I called at least half a dozen and none of them were taking new clients. I eventually had one who asked me to email Shay’s medical records like she was going to give us an appointment. I sent a photo of Shay. I offered to bring her by so she could meet Shay and see how easy going she is. As I was awaiting the call back with an elusive appointment time I realized it had been days. I called back and asked if Shay could get in. NO. No explanation why, just. NO.

Like when a kid gets a “not accepted” letter for college, there was no explanation. I studied the medical report, was there some hidden code that says, “difficult dog?” If she was difficult I might understand.

Finally a friend gave me the number for her mobile groomer. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I called multiple times being so much nicer than I actually am in real life. I was told Shay had to be on the six week grooming schedule, if she needed grooming or not. I just said yes.

I was nervous this morning when I had not gotten a confirmation call or text, so I called. Thankfully she was actually coming. Shay was not happy about it, but she got a great hairdo and had all the important bits taken care of. I pray this woman stays in business. It’s not like Shay will eventually go off to college and make her own beauty appointments.

Thankful for Easy Flowers

I have spent the last year helping my parents move, losing my father and teaching people to play Mah Jongg like their lives depended on it. It you asked me a year ago what the next 12 months would be like I would not have predicted what has transpired. It just goes to show you need to be open to the possibilities and deal with the responsibilities when they happen.

All this time I have been fairly neglectful of my house plants. Don’t thing I have lost my green thumb. Last summer was also the first summer of my newly-built fenced-in vegetable garden and I harvested well over 700 lbs of food from it and that is not counting all my friends took when I was away on vacations.

Most of my house plants are orchids or succulents. My succulents suck right now, but my orchids are a tropical paradise. I don’t do a thing for them. I have never transplanted a one and some are fifteen years old. I have never once fertilized them. They are lucky if they get watered two tablespoons every two weeks. I am just lucky that my sun room seems to get cold enough at night and hot enough in the day to grow orchids.

So while I am out spreading Mah jongg love, my flowers are happily blooming alone back home. Since I hardly ever have a minute to sit and enjoy them I decided to take a few photos of just about a tenth of all the flowers I have right now. I thought I should share them, if even just virtually.

God Mother Visits Day

It may be National siblings day, so to my two sisters, “Happy day!” But to my only child she will never celebrate National siblings day. Thankfully there are no gifts or cake involved in this day. I tried my best to get her a sibling and she knows it, but after a while when you have one good kid you say, “Why mess this up?”

Photo credit Suzanne Worden

Today Carter had something better than siblings day, she had “God mother comes to visit day.” Carter’s god mother Suzanne drove to Boston to take Carter to lunch and for them to have a good walk around Carter’s city.

I only heard they were doing this just before it happened. There was no need to involve me because they have their own relationship, which I love. Suzanne asked Carter where her favorite place for lunch was and she of course chose Select Oysters. Carter said she had oysters and a beet salad, something 10 year old Carter would have died before having.

There is nothing better than knowing that your adult child and your adult friend love each other. For the record I adore all three of Suzanne’s kids to whom I am “Aunt Dana.”

So happy “God Mother visits day” to you Carter. I’m so glad you had a good day.

Love My Electronic Calendar

I am ever grateful for my apple calendar. I have always liked calendars. I had a weekly planner in fourth grade before they were a grade school staple. In college I used nature conservancy spiral bound calendars which were only about five by eight inches so they were small enough to carry around in my purse or book bag, but had enough space in each day to makes notes about every possible responsibility I had.

When I started work I adopted a filo fax. It had places for addresses, birthdays and notes and I often had directions on how to reach different customer’s locations in places for which I had no maps. I could relive my whole life by looking back at an old calendar. Work commitments, dates, dinner parties, vacations, everything was notated.

When my work went international I adopted a small electronic calendar that was a little bigger than a checkbook. It was great because it kept track of where I was supposed to be in the correct time zone.

As soon as I got a smart phone I immediately moved to the calendar on my phone that also sync’d to my computer and iPad. My favorite feature is the alarm setting. Now the alarm rings on my watch. Without all these reminders I never would remember exactly where I should be and when.

I know exactly when it became important for me to keep track of my own appointments. I was five years old. It was a Saturday and I was playing in our front yard in New Canaan with my Dad and my baby sister. A car pulled up and a friend of mine and her mother got out carrying a goody bag and paper plate with a piece of cake. Apparently I had been invited to her birthday party and was a no show. They assumed I was sick.

I was so mad, embarrassed and sad that I had missed a birthday party. My mother said she just forgot. I’m sure she did. If I had known I was invited I would not have forgotten. Birthday Parties were a big deal when you are five. They still are. If it weren’t for my electronic calendar I might forget a party or two. I am happy that my current version reminded me that today is my dearest friend David Mac Kay’s birthday. Happy Birthday David. Glad I never missed a party for you that I was invited to.

Technology Smechtology

Of all the weeks to lose my Internet this was not the best. I had seven classes to teach this week, meaning I was be home very little. You might think, why does she need her internet when she is not home? Well, Russ also needs the internet, much more than I do since he has a real business to run.

I just needed to be able to play Mah Jongg online to learn the card well enough to teach it to the five new-card classes I was teaching. I had basically learned it before our internet crapped out, but I still was perfecting my understanding.

Russ on the other hand could not work at home and went back to the office. That left Shay home alone without the internet. Thankfully she is not into doggie gaming.

As spectrum was coming today I hung at home as long as possible waiting for them. Russ came home from the office fifteen minutes before I had to leave for Chapel hill and I passed the tech coming down our street. Getting work done at our house is usually my responsibility. I just could not cancel my class and I thought that we needed the internet back as soon as possible. This meant Russ had to juggle work calls and technical duty.

This was the highlight of my day

I had a fabulous class with friends in Chapel Hill who were good learners. I stayed a little late with them as they were very enthusiastic. As I was getting in the car Russ called wanting to know where some piece of equipment was in our house. Apparently the tech was still at our house reworking our system. When I got home, more than four hours after I had left, the repair was still going on. With me home, Russ ran to Office Depot and bought a new modem for good measure.

At the six hour mark the tech left and we had both TV and internet. It lasted 20 minutes. Thankfully he had given me his phone number so we called him back and he talked us through a fix. It worked, but I am left with a husband in a bad mood from having half his day hijacked. I am going to have to think of a number of ways to make this up to him.

Still Disconnected From the World

Oh how spoiled in the first world I am. Our internet service went down yesterday. If Russ can’t fix it it is really broken outside the house. I had to call our service provider who said we needed a tech. First available appoint was 30 hours from the time I called. I should have called when I got home last night and Russ told me it was down.

So life without wifi has been like 1984. Last night I wanted to talk to Carter. My cell signal is so poor in my house I had to call her from our landline. Thank goodness I have continued to have it just for these kind of situations. She tried to text me a photo and it took 20 minutes to download.

I went in our bedroom and couldn’t turn any of the lights on because they are all attached to Alexa. It was a little hot and I couldn’t change the temperature because the Nest thermostat needed wifi, so I had to do the old fashioned thing and go down and touch the thermostat on the wall.

There was no way for me to play any of my nightly games of Catan on my iPad without the internet. Instead I worked on a paper sudoku.

This morning I took my dress down to the sweat shop to iron, and thought I could continue using watching my show while I ironed, but I forgot that the TV there is supplied through the internet.

There was a buzz ad my front door, but I couldn’t see who was there through my Ring camera. Shay stands and looks at her Furbo treat dispensing dog camera and wonders why it is not popping out a treat for her.

I am not interested in going back to a time before wifi. I have a book I need to download on audible and I can’t do it. I may have to go dust the house or do something else equally dull as I have no internet to entertain me.

My Internet is Out

I got home from teaching Mah Jongg late tonight and Russ informed me that out internet had been out for three hours.

So I whiled away my time talking to Carter on our old fashioned land line. The internet has not come back so I can’t post a real blog.

This small note will have to suffice for tonight. Please come back and read something more interesting and entertaining tomorrow. As long as the internet is back.

Trying for the Lost Kitchen

There is an elusive restaurant in Freedom, Maine called the Lost Kitchen. It’s owned by a woman named Erin a French, a self taught chef who is regaled by the cooking community. The tiny 40 seat restaurant is probably the hardest reservation in get in America.

The restaurant is only open a few months in the summer. They only take reservations via post card. Yes, post card. Apparently anywhere from 25,000 to 75,000 post cards. It is a lottery system. You send your post card in and hope it gets pulled from the hat. This year the restaurant is asking you to donate to a Maine a farmer Charity to get a code for your post card. I personally find that a brilliant idea. With all the people with plenty of money trying to do anything they can to get a seat at this place, why not ask for a donation. Most people are not going to get picked, but sending $20 to help a Maine farmer will be good for the farmer community and not a hardship to any of those people willing to travel to Freedom for dinner.

Since we will be in Maine a month this year I decided it was time to send a postcard and see if we get picked. The website tells potential patrons you can send homemade or store bought postcards. I went the homemade way. I made a quilted post card because I am hoping that some curious hand that is drawing the winners will feel the fabric with pinked edges and want to pull it from the hat to see what they were feeling.

I appliquéd the word eat on a piece of fabric. Then I sewed two pieces of paper to the other side. As I was sewing the paper on I felt like my post card was not quite stiff enough to withstand the postal system. So before I closed up the fourth side I wanted to insert something a little stiffer. I looked in the drawers of my sewing desk and found a deck of cards.

A card would make the perfect inset. One card was too small, and two fit perfectly. Since I want the cards to fill the whole cavity I sewed them together and slid them between the fabric and the paper. Zigzagging the last seam I had created a little post card with exactly the right weight and feel of a regular post card.

I’m off to bring it to the post office. I want to make sure it is accepted and has the right postage. The Lost Kitchen closes post card acceptance on April 18. They say if you send two cards you are disqualified. I am not sure how they figure that out, but I am not taking any chances and will just send one.