Three Fun Zooms Today, Feels Like a Holiday

Today was the annual Needlepoint Christmas exchange. It is always the first or second Monday in December where a dozen of us gather to exchange the needlepoint treasure we have made for one special friend whose name we drew out of the hat in January. Normally we have a lovely lunch and give each other little gifts. It is one of the Christmas traditions I look most forward too.

Covid changes everything. This year we had our exchange via zoom which had it’s logistical issues. We all had to bring our gifts to one place over the last week. Then today we had to pick up our individual bags of goodies and go home to have the Zoom at three. Since I was providing the homemade scones and mini jars of jam so that we could at least pretend we were at a tea party I had to get up early and bake.

It felt very festive to package up a pair of scones in a tiny bakery box with a little glassine star shaped window. With a dozen of us on Zoom we took turns opening our ornament that was stitched for each of us in secret. Each person held their treasure close to the camera so we could “ohhh and ahhh” over the choices of stitches and fibers the maker had chosen.

It was not the same as being in person, even though Ann wore her traditional red plaid turtle neck to make us feel like it was a normal year, but it was fun to be together, each eating our scones and sharing our love of needlepoint.

My second zoom was a group of college friends who had all read the same book. It’s funny how different opinions can be about the story, but my love of these friends makes me appreciate all their points of view. My favorite line from the book was “To end a friendship, it just takes someone willing to throw it away.” I found this to be especially apropos with this group, some of whom I have not seen much in thirty years, but thanks to Covid we have rekindled our friendship. I just love the idea that you are always friends, through time and space, as long as you don’t willing make it end.

My last Zoom was the happiest, the birthday celebration with Carter. Although I had already face timed with her earlier in the day I got the bonus double chance to see her face as she opened her birthday presents that had been accumulating in her apartment. If you can’t be together you can at least make sure she has things to open that will make her smile.

In three days I get to see her in person, but I’m glad she had a fun birthday today.

Three fun Zooms today, feels like it was a holiday.

Tomorrow is Carter’s Birthday

Twenty-two years ago tonight Russ and I could hardly sleep. We were waiting to get up at four in the morning to go to the hospital so Carter could be induced. We had waited a long time to meet her so it was no surprise we couldn’t sleep.

Tomorrow is Carter’s birthday, as Russ says, a day that will live in infamy. I like to think that as it is Carter’s birthday we can reclaim the day, at least in our family as the happiest day in our life.

Carter was an excellent baby. She was a great kid and she was a teenager, enough said about that. But she is a wonderful adult who makes us so proud.

2020 is the worst year of birthdays for everyone, but as Carter says her birthday is especially tough in college as it falls during exams. I hope she can salvage some bit of fun, but messages to her would be lovely.

I am especially proud of her this semester as she has worked full time, while taking a full course load and TAing two classes. It was a more than full schedule, but some free time is in sight.

Happy birthday to my fabulous daughter. Being your Mom is the best job I ever had.

The End is In Sight

Something like three or more years ago I started working on the plan for a new fellowship hall for Westminster. My first job was in choosing a consultant for our Capital campaign, then with my friend Sara, chairing the major gifts committee (I think that was what it was, but hell, it was so long ago I can’t exactly remember.) It did involve having people in groups of 25-30 for dinner at our house, the same dinner, four nights out of five in a row.

Then I was on the committee to choose the building committee. I said I could be on the building committee if I was not in charge, and then I was in charge. That was two years ago. The committee started strong with seven or eight members meeting regularly as we worked with the architect and builders. Thanks to the wonderful Robert Sontolongo and Susan Straw of DTW architects.

Around August of 2019 we tore down the old fellowship hall and began the rebuilding. I will tell you that the last eighteen months have been the rainiest consecutive 18 months ever. Eventually our builders, CT Wilson got a structure out of the ground and we were on our way. Our Project manager Nish Evans, Construction Manager Red Staley and head honcho Chuck Wilson kept everything moving forward. Slowly my committee dwindled down to the ever present Nathen Swiggett, to whomI am eternally grateful for his expertise and me.

The building was scheduled to be done September 1, but thanks to Covid and mostly that record amount of rain it took an extra three months. I had to visit donors who gave speciality gifts, and calm church goers who wanted to use the building before it was done. Along the way I gave talks in church asking people to pay their Capital campaign pledges, and giving updates on the building. Chris Tuttle, our pastor and I have given video tours of the progress just to remind people that a new building was coming, even though they were not allowed on campus to see it.

I have had billions of zoom construction meetings and many walk throughs to discuss choices and designs. I even had a really bad dream last week that the foundation had been ripped out, while the building still stood. I have argued with landscapers and made people mad because of my expectations for perfection. I wore my pink “mean lady” hard hat with pride.

We have been awaiting our Certificate of Occupancy for two weeks now. We have passed every inspection and Friday, when our CO should have been issued I was told it wasn’t because the main building inspector, who has to sign off, was taking every Friday in December off. So Monday! Monday we should get a CO. And Wednesday we have our owners meeting where all the vendors for things like the industrial dishwasher and the big ass range with griddle will teach us how it all works.

Of course just because we get a CO on Monday (god willing) I still will have some clean up work, as we have parking spaces to get finished and landscape to enhance. But the furniture has been ordered. And with the expertise of Tim Vann the wifi has been run. But the end is in sight.

I am thankful for Sharon Morgan our business manager, who has taken care of all the money coming in and going out and for all the Capital Campaign donors. We still need your pledges paid off. This was a very big project, but a good one to do during Covid. I am looking forward to the official unveiling for the whole church. Of course with Covid, it will only be a few people very socially distanced at a time, but it’s a big ass space, so it will be safe.

One day when I was building my garden, Chris stopped by my house for a meeting in the driveway. I told him I was building this garden so I had something to show for Covid. He said, “You have a whole fellowship hall to show.” No, that fellowship hall belongs to everyone. When we gather together there sometime after we have all been vaccinated, I hope people feel at home there because it is a space meant for everyone. My big question is, “What can I build next?”

Is There Such a Thing as a Coincidence?

Yesterday, while the furnace men were replacing our HVAC Carter called and we face timed for a while. She showed me a video presentation she made for a psychology course. It was about the correlation of comfort food and happiness in children. Part of her video had Carole King singing the Chicken Soup with Rice song based on the poem by Maurice Sendack.

I told Carter that I used to read her that poem from a tiny little red book which was one of four in a Maurice Sendack collection called the Nutshell Books. She said she had felt something familiar when she stumbled upon this Chicken Soup song, but couldn’t quite place how she knew it.

Later in the day when I was searching for the lost key to the crawl space I pulled out some boxes on a shelf in my linen press in my bedroom. The boxes contained a lot of random stuff, like all the little envelopes and bags of extra buttons that come with clothes, a dresser set of brushes and powder boxes with the name Daisy, empty boxes that good jewelry had come in and two little red books.

The Books were half of the Nutshell library collection, one, The Chicken Soup with Rice and the other Pierre, a cautionary tale in four parts with a prologue. I don’t think I have looked in these boxes in ten years. What are the chances that I find the very book Carter and I talked about the day she is using it in her presentation?

I FaceTimed her back and read her the book. My favorite part was:

In February

it will be

My Snowman’s

anniversary.

With cake for him

And soup for me.

Happy Once

Happy Twice

Happy chicken soup

With Rice.

Carter Suggested I hang those little books on the Christmas tree. And so I did. I don’t think it was a coincidence, but exactly what it is I can not name.

Merry HVAC Christmas

Didn’t get to travel this year? Spending every waking and sleeping moment in your house? Seems like the right time to replace that ten year old HVAC unit.

Just when I told Russ I didn’t have many gifts for him for Christmas, so he wouldn’t worry about getting me anything, along comes the perfect gift to give each other. A 17Sear new HVAC unit with new and improved duct work.

We could have waited for any of the many wearing parts in the old unit to stop working all together, but given the planned obsolescence of all appliances these days we decided not to chance it and have it break down while Carter was home for Christmas. It might have worked another three years, but that is something we will never know.

Now I have shinny and bright new duct work in my crawl space along with a big maxi filter and a second nest thermostat since this is our second HVAC unit. At least now I can change the temperature settings all over the house from bed.

The only bad thing happened after the crew was here all day working. I went downstairs to be shown their work at a social distant space and as soon as they walked out my back door I shut the crawl space door and it locked from the inside. When Carter went to high school I moved all the alcohol in the house down to that storage place and locked the door and hid the key. Since her room was also down there I did not want her and her friends to be tempted to lift any of it.

I went to find where I had hidden the key and couldn’t find it. I texted Carter and asked her if she knew where the key was. She said she never knew and was never able to take any alcohol. Too bad! I really wished she knew where the key was.

Thankfully Russ came down and found the key. We left it in the door because now we are too old to hide things because it would mean we were just hiding it from ourselves.

Advent Vespers

We have not been allowed to go to church for nine months, until today. My church just started doing outdoor, socially distant advent vesper services. We had to sign up in advance to keep the numbers down. Russ had work and was not going to make it so I invited Lynn to take his spot.

We were asked to arrive fifteen minutes early to sign in for Covid protocol. I was early, but was probably the last to arrive. It was obvious that the small group was anxious to get to see other congregants. Chairs were set up in the courtyard in family group sizes, of four, two or one far apart from each other.

We had a fire pit, but most people brought blankets. Sadly neither Lynn, nor I did that. We had live music from some friends of our youth pastor Alex. It was nice to be with people, even though we all had masks and were far apart.

At the appointed time Chris, our Pastor, stood at a microphone and welcomed us, gave us the instructions not to sing and told us how these vespers would work. The last time I had gone to vespers was when I was a camp counselor at Camp Idlepines in New Hampshire. It was summer and later in the evening as the sun did not set until nine. Tonight we sat in the waining light at five and the cold descended upon us. Chris read us the advent lesson, we had questions to ponder, music to listen to and prayers to say.

After the service we were asked to be filmed in our “family” groups passing the light from candle to candle like we do on Christmas Eve, so the film can be used in our Video service that night. Lynn and I stood side by side in our masks and passed the light from one candle to another lifting our candles high as we always do on Christmas Eve. The woman filming us asked if we were related and in unison we immediately answered, “Yes.” When you share Christmas Eve together every year you are family. We didn’t need to explain how we were related, but we are.

Sadly, due to the restrictions on numbers, that was the only Advent Vespers I can attend. It was a moment of normality, although we have never done vespers at Westminster before. Just seeing familiar eyes and being together was moment of hope and happiness. Just like Advent.

It’s Giving Tuesday

If you are reading this you probably don’t live under a rock, therefore you might already know it’s Giving Tuesday. In case you don’t know, let me help you. Today is a day where people are encouraged to give to their favorite charities and non-profits. It could be a school, a Food Bank, an organization that helps homeless people, one that helps animals, the list is endless.

If you are lucky enough to have dinner tonight and a warm bed to sleep in and a dog to snuggle with and can read and comprehend a book you probably had someone in your life who helped you get where you are. None of us grow up with out the encouragement of some person. It might have been your parents, a teacher, a grandmother, a friend at church, or all those people.

If you had many people who encouraged you, you were lucky. If you were born into a family which did not worry about buying you new sneakers when you out grew your last ones, you were lucky. Now some people say they got where they are by their own hard work. I am not discounting hard work, but no one gets places alone and those who grew up with privilege need to understand that it was just luck that they were born into that family.

For many people non-profits fill the gaps for people who are just not as lucky. They might be as smart as you and as hard working as you, but they might have grown up in a town with a school that was not as good as yours, or they might have had a parent who lost a job at a bad time, or worse, lost the parent.

Wherever you are now, do you have something or someone to be thankful for? If so it might be a good day to donate to a non-profit in that person’s honor as a way of thanking them for all they did for you. Or give because you are thankful for the luck you had and want to pay it forward so someone else might be helped right at a time they need it.

Let’s not waste the potential we have in our own communities because a child is hungry and can’t concentrate on learning. Or let’s try and alleviate the burden someone else has to carry because it is the right thing to do. Give today. It doesn’t matter where, you pick something that means something to you. If you can, give again tomorrow. It doesn’t have to be money. Give again the next day. I promise you it will make your life happier. You may never know exactly who is helped by your giving, but they will always be grateful to you. We all need help at sometime.

The $34,482 Vote

Trump just spent $3,000,000 donated by his faithful to get Biden 87 more votes in Wisconsin. That’s $34,482 per vote for Biden. This is not surprising. It’s just like a Trump run Atlantic City casino. Take other people’s money and use it to run a business into the ground. I hope that Wisconsin got that $3,000,000 to do the recount up front because if history is any predictor Trump will run out on the bill and when Wisconsin comes after him for the money he will tell them to sue him for it.

We shouldn’t hold our breath for Trump to realize he actually lost this election. He has no shame in declaring six of his business bankrupt and act like he did nothing wrong. He never admits defeat. But we can stop paying any attention to him. There is nothing he hates more than being ignored.

He does not care to be right as long as he has the spotlight. Like those ridiculous claims that Covid was a hoax and we would stop hearing about it the second the election is over. If ever there was one of his claims I wish wasn’t a lie it was that one.

I just hope people who can ill afford to give him money stop wasting their time and dollars. His claims to keep fighting this already decided election is just a way to fleece people for more money. Poor dopes, have they never heard of Trump University?

Voting Out Cyber Monday

On New Year’s Day 2019 I vowed not to buy myself anything except consumables for a year. It was easy. I did not buy any clothes, or books, or shoes, or pocket books, nothing. What I had already was good enough. New Year’s Day 2020 I did not make the same vow. I needed some underwear and a new nightgown, but not a whole lot more. Then Covid hit and here we are staying home, seeing no one. So what did I need this year, NOTHING.

Watching the news tonight all they can talk about is cyber Monday, the biggest shopping day of the year. Too late for me, I have already organized most of my Christmas, small that it is. I am trying to encourage my family to not get me anything. What I proved last year is that I really don’t need anything. How many shirts or sweaters does a person need? When you just stay at home it doesn’t matter if you wear the same three things.

The one thing I got this year is my garden. Even though I built it almost all by myself I did spend a good amount on the materials. Now I have something big to show for the year of Covid. I expect this garden to last as long as I am in this house. If we live here another thirty years that garden will be a good investment, at least in keeping me healthy working outside.

Christmas is for children, but even they should not get too much. Give them the one big thing they really want. Don’t load them up on a lot of junk that gets cast aside by four in the afternoon on December 25. That saying, “The one with the most toys when they dies win,” is the worst saying ever coined. It came out of the over indulgent 1980’s. Please let’s not go back there.

If we learned nothing more from the year of Covid let it be that we returned to a simpler time. Save your money. Don’t over extend at Christmas. You will remember your credit card debt long after the people will recall what “things” you gave them. As I always tell Carter when she asks me what I want for Christmas, “Just give me a heartfelt letter you wrote by hand.”

There is no reason that in this year when so many are suffering from the loss of jobs, businesses, loved ones or their health that we make this cyber Monday the biggest shopping day in history. If you do feel like you want to give your loved ones a personal gift give them something you already own that they adore. Think how much more meaning it will have if you give them your Grandmother’s portrait, or your mother’s ring. Don’t wait to leave things in your will to people, give your prized processions while you can see the joy it will bring now. You can give without shopping.

Christmas Decorations Officially Make You Happier

According to the Journal of Environmental Psychology people who decorate for Christmas earlier are happier. No, I don’t subscribe to this magazine, but Real Simple reported on it and that is good enough for me. I don’t need any PhD to tell me what I already know…Christmas decorations make me happy.

The study hypothesizes that in a world full of stress, Christmas decorations evoke strong feeling of childhood. That assumes you grew up in a house that celebrated Christmas and you had more happy Christmases than unhappy ones. I am more simple than that. My theory is that the shiny and bright over come the gloom of short days. I am not sure if Christmas decorations take on the same affect in the Southern Hemisphere.

Today two friends reported that they have been decorating all week and fully enjoyed have Christmas decorations for thanksgiving. With as much work as decorating for Christmas is why not enjoy it for at least 30 days?

Another friend’s husband has a self imposed rule that no Christmas tree can be put up until December has double digits. At last their youngest child, who is a senior in high school, revolted and said she was not going to suffer this season without the sparkle. For the record the actual tree is not up, but all the other house decorations are done. I’m encouraging a full blown revolt and go on and put that tree up.

You are stuck at home, go on, decorate. You are not going to your decorated office, or should not be speeding much time in a festive mall. Your home is your shiny and bright place. Fly that Santa flag and give yourself a much needed jolt of childhood happiness.

If you don’t celebrate Christmas, string up some lights and call them the winter solstice decorations. You deserve some bright in this darkness too. We all need to be happier.

Dog of Routine

I know that all dogs have routines of one kind or another. Shay likes to have her dinner right at 6:00pm, which is 5:00pm when the time changes. We have a very hard time pushing her back to 6:00 and convincing her we are not cheating her. It does not matter what we are doing at 6:00, she comes and finds us and insists we get to the kitchen.

After she has her chicken and kibble course, which she only eats the chicken out of she nudges us for her second course, which is a tablespoon of shredded cheese on her kibble. Somehow she is able to vacuum out just the cheese and then asks for her second cheese course where she will eat her kibble. Such a continental dog who has cheese as her dessert.

Then, we are allowed to have our dinner. She usually doesn’t beg for our food, but the second Russ puts down his fork she is all over him to get up. It is time for him to play with her in the sun room where her basket of toys are. He might not have finished dinner, but she drives him crazy to go in the sunroom where he lies on the floor and throws toys into the air. Shay will either catch them mid air or bounce them off her nose.

The ones she catches she might play with for a moment before digging in the basket to get a new toy for Russ to throw to her. This toy routine is as strong a habit as her dinner routine. She feels like she has not been payed her attention due without the toy time after dinner.

Who says you can’t teach a old dog new tricks. Russ was in his fifties when Shay taught him to come and play with her after dinner. There is nothing sweeter than a boy and his dog at play.

Decorate, Zoom, Decorate, Zoom, Eat a Little

Happy thanksgiving to all! We have had the most family filled Thanksgiving and it has just been Russ and I with trusty Shay by our sides all day.

We slept in just a little, read, Shay and I slept until eight. Russ of course was up early. We enjoyed some homemade gravlox for breakfast and then got to work bringing the rest of the Christmas decorations down from the attic. Why not decorate on Thanksgiving when we had no one to cook for?

Carter and I face timed some this morning to discuss her cooking and other items then I got to work decorating the house. It felt leisurely to decorate with the tree and the needlepoint already done. As I unpacked things I cleaned them and did some needed repairs on things that had gone unfixed for years. I listened to Alice’s Restaurant twice just because I could.

Around one-thirty I took a break to have our first thanksgiving Zoom which Carter had set up with the Carter side of the family. We had my sister Janet and her Partner Sophie, who is also celebrating her birthday today and by miracle both my parents making their first Zoom appearances. My sister Margaret was unable to join, but the rest of us had a marvelous time catching up. Unlike a normal Thanksgiving there was no fighting, no driving, no dishes. Practically perfect.

Then back to decorating. Around four-thirty I put our Turkey in the oven and joined the Lange family Zoom, which Carter had organized. All the Langes were there except our niece Bree who is an emergency room nurse who was working. It was my father-in-law, Marty’s first Zoom too so Carter was batting 1000 at getting all her grandparents on the 2020 communication program.

After that zoom it was back to decorating and then around six I took our Turkey out of the oven. Thanks to Amy at Sage and Swift we had more food than two people could possibly eat at four meals, despite us purchasing the dinner for two option. Russ and I made our plates and sat down at the dining room table at six-thirty and started our third Zoom with Carter with a blessing and then she showed us her plate of all her favorite thanksgiving foods she had made herself.

The three of us had Virtual Thanksgiving and stayed on the Zoom for an hour and half. Carter even got to witness Shay begging for Turkey. All this Zooming and introvert Carter was exhausted. Thanksgiving might have been “too peopley” as Russ and Carter like to say.

Russ did the dishes and put the food away and all in all it was a perfect thanksgiving. Even Shay is exhausted.

We hope that you all stayed safe and healthy this Thanksgiving and feel grateful that we are still here. It may have been a different Thanksgiving, but that is not bad.

Not Cooking

It’s amazing what you can do if you don’t spend time cooking. For the last three days rather than making pies or stewing tomatoes I have been in my sweat shop sewing some Christmas presents. It has been so productive to just work away at the sewing machine, something I should have done earlier in the year. The garden wall kept me too busy to be making Christmas presents, so the lack of Thanksgiving prep gave me some much needed time.

Instead of making rolls for thanksgiving, I was watching the Great British Bake off while I sewed. It was the perfect way to feel like I was cooking without any of the work.

I was not the only one who decided not to cook this year. Amy Tournquist’s parking lot at Sage and Swift was hopping as so many people pulled in to pick up their Turkey dinners. I was thrilled for Amy to have so many happy customers. We may not get to be at big tables with our families, but at least we can have yummy things to eat without any of the work.

I did not get a cooked Turkey as I still prefer to roast mine and eat it hot and fresh from the oven, but Amy did all the prep and it is ready to pop in oven already seasoned and ready to go. I think that cooking the Turkey qualifies as cooking something even though it is the easiest thing to cook.

So Happy Thanksgiving to all you friends. I hope you have a calm and simple day tomorrow. That is something we all can be thankful for. At least if it is just me and Russ we don’t have to wear masks at home alone and we can eat in the dining room, with Carter on Zoom eating her Thanksgiving she is cooking herself. We may not be in the same room, but we will be together for dinner.

WARNING: NC is Alerting You to Stay Home

Historically I try and not visit a grocery store this week as I usually find them full of amateurs. You know, the husbands who have been sent to the store to pick up one strange ingredient they have no idea where to find, let alone what it even looks like. Or the newly home from college student who wanders the aisles with all the time in the world blocking power shoppers like me from sprinting through our shopping. Or the mother with her children out of school in tow just trying to keep superfluous items out of her cart.

Since I am not cooking for Thanksgiving I did not do my big Turkey shopping last week and have not been cooking one item each day for the last week. Russ and I are getting our Thanksgiving from Sage and Swift. This is first time in our marriage that I have not cooked anything, except for may be our first Thanksgiving when we went to his parents for Turkey day. Given what we were served I think I had to cook after the Turkey meal when I got home so we could have something good to eat.

As I did not shop last week I realized that I needed to buy a few fruits and vegetable today to carry us through the holiday. I broke down and went to Trader Joe’s this morning. Thankfully with the vetting of the number of customers allowed in the store at the same time it did not matter if there were too many armatures, except for the one woman who kept wandering the store with her cart going against the stream of shoppers.

As I was standing by the bananas both my watch and phone started blaring a terrible warning sound. I heard the same sound coming from every phone on every person in the store. I looked at my watch and saw the words “Public Safety Alert.” I was worried something like a plane crash had happened. I put on my glasses so I could see the text.

Covid 19 warning was what everyone had received all at once. It was the very first alert of its kind I had gotten. I was worried that it was alerting me that someone in the store had Covid. Thankfully it was not. I finished my shopping and heeded the warning and went home.

Then I got the same warning again late this afternoon. North Carolina is serious about us trying to reduce our Covid numbers. I hope that people listen. Don’t send any armatures to the store. If your normal Thanksgiving provision gathering happens by going back to the store a dozen times in two days, try and make a list an only go once. If you have a college student home, ask them what they want to eat and buy all their favorite foods for them when you do your shopping and if you are a mother with little kids, ask someone else to pick up your groceries so you don’t have to drag extra little people to the store.

Even better, order take out for your Thanksgiving. You can pick it up tomorrow and not have to go to the store at all.

The Drip, Drip, Drip of Christmas

In a normal year Christmas throws up at our house the weekend after Thanksgiving. It is an all out assault. 46 hinged crates come down from the attic all at once. The tree is assembled with lots of swearing. Non-Christmas decorative items get packed away in the attic to make room for the glass village, snowmen display, various Santa’s and general holiday cheer. I work fourteen plus hours those days to get it all done. It is exhausting, but needs to be completed to make room for the entertaining preparations for the no less than six events we hold at our house in the month of December.

This year I am really enjoying doing the Christmas decorating bit-by-bit. The tree was up last weekend. With the new tree we have new tree technology, mainly in the remote control for the lights. Russ got his hands on the remote and discovered that with the press of a button he can change my tasteful white lights to multi-colored lights. He declared that the colors are pure “northeast Philly.” So we have been toggling the colors on and off to feel like we are traveling, while still staying home. For the record I don’t ever need to go to northeast Philly.

Yesterday I spent a leisurely two hours putting up the needlepoint garland. I was exhausted after doing it and couldn’t imagine doing more decorating after I finished, like I do in a regular year.

So now I am enjoying a few days revisiting all my needlepointing before I move on to the rest of the house decorations. After I am done there will be no parties to cook for, no guests to have over, just Russ and I wandering the house sitting in rooms we usually don’t even use just so we can enjoy the Christmas decorations.

It’s a different year, but honestly it is an easier year. I don’t think I can convince Russ to let me put Christmas up before Thanksgiving normally and certainly Carter would object. For now I am just going to revel in the shiny and bright.

Inspired by a Friend’s Humanity

Last year I reconnected with a high school friend on Facebook. I had not seen her since she graduated the year before me. I haven’t spoken with her or seen her, just read her posts.

She lives on a small island in Maine and day before yesterday I read this that she posted:

We are now a solid 8 months into this. If you are not working/not getting a paycheck/struggling to make ends meet and run out of food or necessities…please don’t let yourself or your kids go to sleep cold or with an empty stomach. Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to send me a private message. I am more than happy to help you and your family out. I will drop and go, or order for delivery. No one has to know and I will pretend it never happened. What’s understood never has to be explained. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. If you need anything for a family dinner or anything at all, message me. Stays private.

What humanity. I knew she was an extraordinary person in high school and was kind then, but this is beyond kindness.

She inspires me and I wanted to share her generosity with others incase it inspires you. We have had a horrific year, but many of us have not had to face homelessness or hunger along with all the depression those bring on.

Reaching out to those around you and just letting them know you are there might be just the thing someone needs. I am here for you if you need me. I thank Dinah for reminding me that it is our responsibility to care for those around us.

Leaning in on Veggies

Now that the stress of the election is over it’s time to get back to healthier eating. Following the lead of the others in my house I am not eating any red meat. That really isn’t much of a change, so I am trying to eat more vegan options.

This morning Russ suggested we get take out from Rose’s in Downtown Durham. Rose’s started out as Rose’s meats and sweets, a strange combination of butcher and baker. They took the meat out and morphed into a noodle house/bakery when they had great success with their Raman’s at lunch.

So Russ and I ordered a vegan Raman and I got a winter squash salad and Russ got a vegan steamed bun. If I tell you it was all so yummy I am holding back. It was fantastic. We each ate half of our dinner so we could save it to have again tomorrow.

Shay was not too happy that we didn’t have anything on our plates she wanted, but thankfully we still have chicken for her.

I am not giving up chicken or fish, but I will try and cut way down on cheese. If only my garden could produce in the winter it would make eating vegan heavy much easier.

Is Your Toothpaste Tube Safe?

In our house we all have our own personal tubes of tooth paste since we all brush our teeth in our own bathrooms. As I was squeezing my squirt of paste across my bristles I got to thinking about how gross our toothpaste was a kid. In our very old house we had very few bathrooms, none that could be considered luxurious by any stretch of the imagination. I shared the worst bathroom with my two sisters. We had one tiny sink where our tooth brushes all lay on the laminate covered counter with one usually well squeezed tube of Crest tooth paste.

It never seemed to matter how old the tooth paste was, it was always squeezed in the middle. Back in the sixties toothpaste tubes were a kind of bendable metal and once you mashed the middle up it was hard to squeeze the tooth paste from the far end to the cap opening. We never learned, we squeezed the middle first every time.

Putting the cap on the tooth paste was also something we were not good at. Given the nine years age difference it would be a lifetime before that was a skill we all had. So when you came in at bedtime there was a better than fifty-fifty shot that there would be some caked paste seal on the end and you had to squeeze extra hard to give enough pressure to break through the tough hardened paste.

One thing for sure was we all dragged our own tooth brushes against the end of the cap while we were trying to catch the paste as it came out. Now that I live in a Covid world and look at everything in terms of what their potential viral load might be, I look at shared tooth paste tubes as a ground zero for spreading germs.

I am thankful that in our house we all have always had our own tooth paste, but I think it was a proximity issue rather than a cleanliness one. I am wondering how many of you shared tooth paste with your siblings? If you have a house full of children now do they each have their own toothpaste? If they share a bathroom even if they have their own tubes do they not accidentally use someone else’s?

Seems like tooth paste manufacturers should make a place on the tube to write you name. Perhaps we could cut down on the sharing of the common cold if everyone had their own tooth paste. Maybe I have this all wrong. I have never heard of people sharing toothpaste being singled out for transmission of anything. If it had I am certain that the marketing departments at Crest and Colgate would tell us to buy a tube for every member of the house. Or perhaps they don’t want to imply that germs could live on the tube. Someone please tell me the answer to my questions about the cleanliness of our toothpaste.

I Know It’s Early

It may be a whole week before Thanksgiving, but 2020 Thanksgiving is not going to be much this year. So I threw out the rule of no Christmas before Thanksgiving and I put up my tree. The need to get the coffin sized box out of my front hallway had something to do with it, but my love of decorating my Christmas tree was the overwhelming reason.

Despite being a slightly smaller tree than my old one it still took me half of yesterday and half of today to decorate it. I did cull some unloved ornaments from the rotation, but saved a couple spots for new ornaments to come during this season.

With darkness descending on us at four-fifty the glow from the tree adds needed light to our evenings. We spend more time in our big room during Christmas than any other time of the year and that is all tree related. Sadly there will be no needlepoint Christmas exchange or garden club auction or Chinese auction so that friends come over and enjoy my Christmas decorating.

I may have to do a Zoom tour of Christmas just so I can see everyone’s trees. There is nothing I like more than Looking at people’s decorations and having them tell me stories about where they came from and which ones are their favorites.

Send me a picture of your tree when you put yours up. I know it might not be for a couple of weeks. Most of you are not as crazy as me. For the record, I have not out any other decorations up, not even my needlepoint garland. Maybe this weekend.

On a different note, this afternoon my friend Christy and I were going out on a walk to get our needed vitamin D. There was a big black suburban parked by the end of my driveway I did not recognize. Christy said it wasn’t there when he pulled in my driveway three minutes before. Then a friend, Anita, came out from behind the car and said she left me a little surprise. We talked a few minutes and she got in her car and Christy and I went on our walk.

As we walked away I said, “I wonder what the surprise is? I hope it’s some chicken poop for my compost.” Anita keeps chickens. When we got home we walked down the driveway. I didn’t see any poop. Christy looked in my mailbox and only saw mail. Then I saw something fluttering and looked up and found a gold star balloon tied to my garden. What a cute friend! Thanks Anita.

Introducing YOUZEY

When Covid hit my brilliant sister Janet was unsure how her business would fare. She mostly makes gift boxed beauty sets for department store and with the world shut down she did not know what the Christmas orders from retailers would be like. She is a small woman owned business who employees almost all women whose families are dependent on Janet’s business.

So what did Janet do, but pivot. She and her partner Sophie, created a new online accessory business. As Janet has so many contacts in the manufacturing world, who were also worried about where they could sell their products it was the perfect marriage. So I’d like to introduce you to YOUZEY.com.

It is a fun site of perfect stocking stuffers and fun gifts for the young people in your life or the fashion forward young at heart. You can join Club Youzey and get free shipping.

One of the products Janet has sold for years is the Travelo fragrance atomizers. If you ever wanted to take a small amount of your at home perfume with you on the go this is the thing to get. It uses special technology that allows you to fill your Travelo with the atomizer of your at home bottle of perfume. The fanciest one is the Travelo Milano, which makes a lovely gift for your most discerning friend.

There are a ton of cute Watches and jewelry. And fun things like fake fur cuffs to change up the look of your old plain coat, if just for the night.

Take a look at the site and join Club Youzey. I can’t wait to hear what you like. Janet is sure to be adding new products all the time as she is chomping at the bit to get back on the road in search of the next fun accessory.

youzey.com

Good Grooming At Last

Before the Pandemic hit our regular dog groomer changed professions. Then, we didn’t want to leave the house. That left us with the home grooming options. We bought clippers and Carter spent a good three hours washing and cutting Shay one day in June. She did a good job, but three hours…

After Carter went back to Boston it was back to my grooming. I was already busy taking care of trimming Russ’ beard and hair. He is so much more obedient than Shay. I knew Shay needed a real haircut.

A neighbor who also has labradoodles had a mobile grooming truck in her driveway one day. I asked her if she liked them. “Yes, but expensive.” At this point I had already saved a fortune in grooming or lack of grooming so I called. It took a few weeks to get an opening but today was the day.

When the door bell rang, Shay ran and opened it, a new trick she has learned. She was out on the front porch greeting Jeffery her new hairdresser. I walked with them down to the driveway where his Mercedes Sprinter van grooming truck sat. Shay was not too sure about getting in, but I assured her by having her pose for her before photo and taking a picture of the license plate in case Jeffery decided that Shay was a keeper.

Two hours after entering the van a fluffy “Steiff Like stuffed animal” sweet Shay emerged. She pranced around the house, showing off her new look. Jeffrey reported her good behavior, but dislike for the hairdryer. This was something I already knew. Groomers should get the silent Dyson hair dryers, especially if they have Mercedes Vans.

So now we have a full on princess back in the house. It’s amazing what a real haircut will do for you.

What I Have to Show For Covid

On August 16 I weed whacked what was left of my summer vegetable garden after the bunnies and the deer had turned it into their personal smorgasbord. For the past 25 years I have fought with wildlife, droughts and bad soil over my vegetable garden. I decided I had enough and wanted to control my own space.

I spent the next month scouring Pintrest and Fine Gardening and talking to friends, like Christiania who had put in raised beds this years. I came up with a plan. It was going to be hard, expensive but in the end beautiful. I decided most of the work I could do myself. I knew I needed help with the fence because it needed four hands so I talked to a friend from Church and he said he could help with that.

I went to work. Clearing the ground, buying the blocks, building the retaining wall which was over forty linear feet four feet high. When a section of wall fell In because I had not backfilled it fast enough I did not get discouraged. I had too much in this project. I had to keep moving forward.

I started the building on September 13 and finished today, November 16. I worked almost every non-rainy day. I laid 512 twenty one pound bricks, I shoveled 28 yards of clay as my fill, with the help of David we built a 15 by 25 foot deer and bunny proof enclosure, I built 11 cedar raised beds, I built an underground irrigation system to each bed, I filled those beds with six yards of garden soil, I covered all the garden pathways with card board and four inches of pine bark nuggets. Now I can rest until spring.

Of course there will be tree branches to trim so sun hits the right places and plants diagrams to draw and seeds to start. I wait with baited breath to see if my output improves.

Ultimate Recycling

This is the giant box my Christmas tree came in. It was a work of art. I was instructed to cut it open on one corner. From there I unfolded multiple layers of thick card board to uncover the bagged tree ready to be rolled out of the box once I cut the straps holding it in place.

Instructions on the box asked me to please thoughtfully recycle to box. Hooray! I had the perfect job for all that cardboard. So I spent a good hour cutting the box down. It had many layers, some thicker and some thinner. I dragged the huge pieces out to the garden where the parts of that one box covered every inch of the pathways between the raised beds.

Apparently cardboard under wood nuggets is the best way to prevent weeds from growing in my garden paths. So I covered the whole place and will purchase the nuggets to be spread tomorrow. This will complete my project for the winter.

I think I can safely say that I have recycled that box in the best way possible. No fuel was used to move it and it will break down overtime in my garden, eventually turning into soil. Until then it will act as weed blocker. A win-win for me. I know you will be glad when I stop writing about this project.

Ten Minute Tree

Last Christmas I made the decision to retire our giant Christmas tree. It was an eight section behemoth that took a toll on our family relationships when we put it up and took it down. Little did I know when I made the three trips to the dump that 2020 was not going to be the best year to purchase a new tree.

Sadly, the company that I bought my tree from stopped selling trees retail and began making them for Balsam Hill. This meant my new tree was going to be double the price. Like I did a decade ago, I ordered the branch sample box from the company so I could pick out a tree that had the most realistic branches and color I was looking for.

As I shopped for trees I decided to go with one that was two feet shorter then my old tree. Spending my life going up and down the ladder and placing ornaments with uber long tongs was a younger woman’s job. Since I was getting a slightly shorter tree I could get one that was the newest flip technology. That meant the tree was permanently attached to the rolling stand and when I went to assemble it I flipped the tree over and added only two more sections, rather than the seven I used to.

Last week a coffin sized box arrived via FedEx. The nice delivery man actually got it into the house for me where it stood in the hall for five days. Since I didn’t want to have the box though Thanksgiving I decided that it was perfectly OK to put the tree up today. Russ and I are having a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving with just the two of us. Why not decorate for Christmas really early.

Russ helped me build a beautiful cedar box for the tree to stand on. This way our train can be put up around the tree easily. Then we lifted the first section on the box. Flipping it was easy. Russ added the next two sections, where they plugged together so the lights came on automatically. It took less than ten minutes to put the whole thing together as opposed to the hours for our old tree. Now I am fluffing the branches. Since it is a brand new tree the fluffing will take a little while, but as it is November 14 there is no rush.

Christmas is coming early here. Lord knows we can use the spirit.

The Best Medicine

Today was my annual visit with my GYN. I go to a woman who took over from my OB/GYN who delivered Carter and was my doctor for over twenty years. Since I don’t have a lot of need for visiting her I don’t have the same relationship with her as I did with my old guy. I think I have seen her four times in four years.

The worst part about going to any doctor is weighing in, but this year with Covid the nurse said nobody is getting scolded. Thankfully my weight was less than last year, but not as good as it was in March. My “new” doctor spent a lot of time with me considering everything short of the blood work which is not back yet was great.

We talked about life and she expressed an interest in doing some work for my Food Bank. After she commented on my strong core muscles I showed her a picture of my garden project and she said that was the healthiest thing she had seen during Covid. I was happy she thought my muscles were improved.

After a good check up and really nice visit she asked if she could give me a hug. It has been so long since I have hugged anyone besides my husband. She said with out masks on it was safe. It was the best medicine. A hug. The thing we all need, but can’t ask for or shouldn’t.

It was the best trip to the doctor I think I have ever had.

Childhood Murder of Brussels Sprout

As a child there was a no more despised vegetable in our house than Brussels spouts. They would arrive in our freezer in small frozen boxes and when my mother would dare to prepare them they would be boiled to death and slathered in butter and sour cream. Now don’t get me wrong, butter and sour cream almost could improve anything. Anything, but the poor limp Brussel. The smell would reek up the whole house.

My sisters and I would have that smell preview of what was surly going to be a horrible dinner. We would drag ourselves to dinner where we usually ate without adults since my father did not get hone until we were in or almost in bed. The no adult thing was the only good part on Brussels nights. This meant that I could put a sprout in my mouth and then pretend to wipe my mouth and deposit the sphere into my paper napkin. This trick only worked if you had one or two on your plate. Once you got two I your napkin you could pull off keeping them there while trying to spit a third into it. If a sister caught me not eating my sprouts there was sure to be tatle telling.

Then there was the move of bringing your plate and sprout filled napkin to the garbage to scrape before putting the plate in the dish washer. You had to make sure there was some other food that you could use to cover your napkin in the garbage. It was fine in my family not to eat your potato, but you had to finish your green vegetable. The threat was you would not be able to poop if you didn’t. (The follow up to that lie is for another day.)

Sadly, because of these early exposures to poor Brussels sprout preparation I went years steering clear of them. It was not until I was much older and ate a roasted sprout did I discover that I had been exposed to a murder of sprouts as a child.

Thankfully Russ loves my roasted sprouts and we can enjoy them fully without the need for extra paper napkins and a potato skin to hide them in.

Oh Happy Dog Day

I came home from Trader Joe’s today with a special dog Advent calendar. Shay somehow knew it was for her. How? She has never had an advent calendar before? She is a church going dog and sits on many committees as all good Presbyterians do, but she has not made advent a priority in her life.

Well, times have changed. She looked at the advent calendar and looked at me and sniffed right on the number one door. Okay, it’s not December 1st yet, but it is 2020, so I let her open the first door and have the treat – Two salmon and sweet potato coins. She was quite happy with her haul.

And like all good Presbyterians, she did not ask for more. She knows that she must wait until tomorrow to have the honor of opening the number 2 door.

As she will finish her advent calendar well before Christmas I am going to have to either skip some days or come up with a second calendar. We shall see if she remembers to ask for her treat everyday. She’s pretty smart so I think she will be demanding it.

Russ to the Rescue

I ordered 6 yards of garden mix soil last week. When I did I had to pick a delivery date, so I said Monday. Late yesterday afternoon my soil guy pulled up, the same guy who delivered 28 yards of fill dirt to me a month ago. “Nice job,” he told me as he surveyed all that I had done since his last visit. I proudly accepted his compliment and told him I was looking forward to finishing this project for the winter.

When I scheduled the delivery I had no idea that we were expecting many days of rain starting tomorrow. So yesterday after the driver expertly dumbed the beautiful black soil right were I needed it I started shoveling.

I would fill our big yellow wheel barrow about three quarters full with soil because that was about all I could lift and still be able to push the wheel barrow through the gravel driveway and into the garden. I had left two feet between every raised bed which was just enough to maneuver the wheel barrow around the garden.

I started filling the fourteen inch high garden beds. It took many loads just half way fill one bed. After a few hours yesterday I had to stop because I was losing the light. With impending rain on Wednesday I knew that I had to finish all the filling by today. I thought it was doable.

I was out in the driveway shoveling and dumping, by 8:15 in the morning. I had taken a preemptive Aleve knowing this was going to be hard work. I kept at it all day. Taking sitting breaks every hour when I would cut the garden fabric I was using to line the inside joints of the garden beds.

I worked and worked calculating I had made 150 trips of the wheel barrow based on my step count of 22,000 by 4:30. The light was beginning to wain. I still had a big pile of dirt and my back was causing me to slow down. A little bit after 5:00 Russ came outside and said he had postponed a work call to help me. I burst into tears from exhaustion.

Together in the dark we worked another 45 minutes and got most of the work done. We had reduced the pile to the point that we could cover the remaining dirt with tarps so in a few days when the rain stops I can finish.

For the most part every bed in 90% full. I am going to need these rainy days to recover physically, but the worst of this job is over.

Science is Back

Regardless of who you voted for it is good news that Biden had created a Covid task force full of smart Professionals in the Science fields. Even if you voted for Trump, you too will benefit from people who use science and might actually be able to end this pandemic.

The exciting news from Pfizer about the successful phase II trial of their vaccine is the second best news of the month of November. We still have to wait for the safety tests and hopefully those too will go well. Setting us up to vaccinate the whole country or at least the smart people who believe in science.

Sadly, science could not save Alex Trebeck any longer. Pancreatic cancer is still tough. Hopefully when we get through this pandemic we can go back to fully funding our government backed research on things like cancer and climate change. We have a lot of big issues facing the world that have been put on hold the last four years. Science matters. To all you scientists who have felt threatened, come out of the darkness and enlighten the rest of us on what you discover. We need you, we appreciate you.

The Supervisor

Shay and her constant companion Russ are never far apart. For the last nine months we have called Shay the supervisor, because she is by Russ’ side 24 hours a day. She has beds strategically spread out around his home office so she can crack the work whip from every vantage point.

Weekends are a little different. Russ still works all-day, everyday, but does not have to sit at his desk on Zoom calls. Shay has figured out that on Weekends she can dictate which of her beds she would like to supervisor from. When she can, she likes to spend time on her favorite big bed in the kitchen and has taken to forcing Russ to work from that bed.

These photos were taken on different days, but they tell the story of the iron fist of the supervisor perfectly. I have a feeling that when Russ is finally able to go back to the office the supervisor is going to demand a few new beds at the office. Russ has really let this new found power she has go to her head.

46 is My New Favorite Number

At last we have the answer to the question of who is going to lead our country for the next four years. Congratulations to Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. This is a historic moment. What I am most looking forward to is having a President whose integrity is not something I am constantly having to worry about based on what he is tweeting. Actually, I am mostly hoping that we no longer have any government by Twitter. Secondly, I am looking forward to leaders who don’t make every issue about them.

From the moment that 45 opened his mouth at his inauguration I was shocked about how he only voiced any care for people who voted for him. Since it was the very first public office he had held he had no understanding of the difference between running for office and governing. Sadly, that instinct never changed. He saw us as a country of people who were either with him or against him. It didn’t have to be that way and this is the huge difference I see between 45 and the new and improved 46.

If 45 had prevailed the idea that there are winners and losers would have continued. That is not the way it should be in America. We should be able to disagree on points, but no one should be considered a loser. Government should not be playing a zero sum game.

With Biden the good news is he does not treat people who disagree with him as losers. Even if you didn’t vote for him, he is going to try to run the country in a way that does not make you feel less than. Your candidate might not have won, but you are not a loser with Biden.

We have to get back to a place where honesty and humility are valued. We have to get back to a place where we work together for the common good. There is no more important time than during a global pandemic to have Joe work to heal our nation.

Reading some tweets today from Trump voters I had to laugh. When a guy wrote, “With Biden as President I am going to have to move to Mexico to save my children.” Oh the irony. Or the man who tweeted, “My children literally have not had any food. How can we survive without President Trump.” Did this guy not understand that he was the President while his children were hungry?

I am not expecting all our citizens to get smarter, especially these tweeters, but I am hoping that we can get kinder. It is time to turn the temperature down. It’s time to have an America where your President does not look at half of our fellow citizens as losers. Congratulations to Joe and Kamala. I look forward to the team you build that looks like America.

Sunrise at Lowe’s

How do I pass the time waiting for election results all the while Covid is growing? I wake up early and make my list of needed hardware for the day. Then I go off to my Lowe’s. Yes, I am claiming the south Durham Lowe’s as my own.

I know men and women who work in lawn and garden, hardware, plumbing, lumber and especially customer service by name. They know me by my project and ask to see photos of my progress.

I refuse to go to a restaurant and eat there, but I will go and push my cart throughout the whole Lowe’s store, steering more than six feet from all other people. Today I had to buy two carbon Monoxide detectors for the building at church I am working on. Ted, one of my regular Lowe’s helpers, asked me why I needed those for my garden? I had to laugh.

Today as I was finishing up installing the irrigation system I got a little teary. I think I am done with things they sell at Lowe’s, at least for a while. Now I am awaiting garden soil delivery and then I will search out wood chips. Then my garden will be set and ready to go into winter hibernation, awaiting early spring planting.

Thank you Lowe’s for keeping me busy and occupied. If we don’t get results soon I may have to come up with a new project. Anything other than cleaning out the attic.

Biding My Time

As the counting of the votes continues I needed an activity to take me away from what I can not control. So I started building the irrigation system in my garden. Working with PVC pipe is almost as fun as legos. I am thankful for my life of solving puzzles and Carter’s childhood of a million Thomas the train pieces I put together.

It was a perfect day here weather wise so being out in the soon-to-be garden was glorious. I cut PVC and glued joints, creating my future self-watering system. While I worked I listened to an Audible book Russ had in our library, “HI Bob” Bob Newhart talks to younger comedians. It was the perfect way to occupy my time.

I got the hardest part done, digging the trenches. Then I tackled the second hardest part creating the complicated pipes at the start of the run. Eventually I started to lose light so I left the half finished system. I realized I need to take stock of my pvc right angles and “T” pieces and go purchase a few more before I start up again tomorrow.

Doing something I have control over is my best remedy for the waiting. Listening to funny stuff also helps. The funniest thing I heard was a story a Bob told about his best friend Don Rickles’ wife talking about going to buy burial plots. When she told Bob they had bought eight plots Bob asked her why eight since they needed 7 for their family. She replied, “Don doesn’t want anyone next to him.” My telling doesn’t do it justice, but it struck me as hysterical. So much for biding my time.

The Day After

It may be the day after the election and as of this writing we don’t know who won, but what we do know is that the Coronavirus is still here. In almost every state the numbers are going up and by a lot. Now is the time we need to double down and wear masks. If everyone would just do that religiously we could stop offering this virus so many host bodies to keep it alive.

Thankfully there are no more reasons to hold rallies. Lord knows how many people got sick from going and standing close together with other non-mask wearers. But you don’t have to do that anymore.

Thanksgiving may be coming, but go on and cancel it. This way you don’t have to sit next to that annoying uncle who voted differently than you did. Stay home. Eat a chicken with some stuffing. You know the stuffing is the only reason you want a Turkey anyway.

It is getting dark early and it is getting colder. You don’t need to go to a restaurant to eat there. Take out is fine. Come home and really enjoy that meal without fear of Covid.

Now that we no longer have political ads on TV you can go back to watching. Being home alone with 500 channels is a better idea than being out catching and then spreading the virus.

Someone who shall remain nameless said that as soon as the election was over, “poof” we would no longer be concerned about the virus. That person was wrong. The virus is growing stronger. Almost every state is seeing a huge growth is cases and deaths.

We no longer need to make the virus political. The political races are done. So stop pretending it is not real or deadly. Fight the virus like you fought for your candidates.

America succeeds when we have a common enemy to fight. Your fellow citizens are not your enemy, the virus is. Let’s kick 2020 in it’s butt and stop the exploding spread. Do your part. Wear a mask when you go out. Wash your hands. Socially distance and just stay home as much as you can. I think that being able to return to normal is something we can all agree we want.

Trying to Manifest a Blue Wave

I knew I couldn’t sit around today. I volunteered to do one more push of ballot curing. Letting people who mailed in ballots that were rejected know so they could go to the polls. I dressed all in blue to act as a human blue wave. It was just one more subliminal way to get the message out.

I was given fifteen names of people in Durham and I went to parts of the city I had never visited before. I had elderly African American women, a young Indian mother, a new mom with a five day old baby, I had a senior citizen couple of Chinese descent and a public school teacher who was teaching on zoom. Those were the people I was able to catch at home. I went to two houses where the people obviously had not been home in the last week because mine was not the first door hanger letting them know their ballot had been rejected. Sadly their votes will probably not be counted.

What I have learned from this election is the best thing you can do is vote in-person early if you are able. Mail in ballots, while technically a valid option, depend on the voter doing absolutely everything perfectly as well as counting on the USPS to be infallible. The new mother I visited was frustrated because she and her husband had hand delivered their ballots and his was accepted and stamped as hand delivered and her was mistakenly stamped as delivered in the mail and therefore was somehow disqualified since it did not have a postmark. The new mother did not know this at the time of drop off. It was human error, but human error happens.

I think if I have learned anything at all it is that voting is a right and a privilege others before me worked to ensure for me. It is only right that I continue that work to ensure that those who come after me have that same right. Democracy is not gravity, it does not just automatically happen. It must be continually fought for. Here’s to a good fight and a decent America.

An Important Read

My tiny book club met this evening via Zoom to discuss a wonderful book of importance right now. We read Isabel Wilkerson’s The Warm of Other Suns, bestseller about the great migration. Given where the country is with Black Lives Matter it seemed like a good idea to try and understand this seminal event in America.

Although I was aware that Blacks left the south and migrated north I had no idea that it happened continuously over a ninety year period, making it not so much an event as an eventuality. Wilkerson, a scholar, spent years interviewing people who had made the migration and settled on telling the story through the lives of three different people. She turns the non-fiction history into a readable novel like book.

As a white woman, who grew up in Connecticut I have little personal frame of reference to understand the African American experience. Of course I have studied history of the American south and knew about Jim Crow laws, but this book brings to life all that it meant to African Americans who lived under it and why they escaped looking for something better. Better was only relative because although they migrated North, discrimination was never far behind.

It was heartbreaking to learn about how in Chicago blacks could only rent places to live in one skinny area of the city and they paid rents that were double what whites paid for places much nicer and larger. When they wanted to move to a better neighborhood, there was no where else to go, no matter how much money they had.

The one thought that ran through my head as I read about one indignity after another is that I can’t imagine enduring such blatant unfairness at every turn and keep taking it without lashing out. If you don’t understand why Black Lives Matter is an important movement you need to read this heartfelt book.

Life may not be fair, but for some they never have a chance to just get par, let alone get ahead. We can never truly walk in each other’s shoes, but we should at least try and understand.

Did You Mail in Your Ballot?

Voting is more important this year than ever. With Covid many of you requested mail-in ballots. For the most part mailing in your ballot is safe, as long as you mailed it in time. But there are still stories of people who mailed their ballots in plenty of time, but it was not received in time.

You need to make sure that your ballot arrived at your city’s election office. If you live in North Carolina you can go to this website to check on that status of your ballot.https://vt.ncsbe.gov/RegLkup/ You enter your name and county and you should find your name. Once you click on it scroll down to the bottom link for absentee ballots. If you sent one in and it was processed and accepted it will tell you that.

It you mailed one and they don’t have it you will see nothing about an absentee ballot.

If there was a problem with your ballot, like the signature was not accepted it will say it was not accepted.

In the case of no ballot or an unaccepted ballot you need to go vote on Tuesday. You will not be voting twice since your mail-in ballots was not registered. If by chance it comes in after the election it will just be discarded if you voted in person.

I know that you chose to do a mail in ballot for a good reason, but if it did not get there please go to your regular polling place on Tuesday. With so many people early voting the lines on Election Day should not be too long. Please don’t skip voting. This is the most important election in our lives and North Carolina is a swing state.

If you have questions about your North Carolina mail in ballot you can call this hotline any they can help you. The number is 1-833-868-3462. We are right at the finish line. Let’s do it string North Carolina.

Rare Halloween Trifecta

Today is not just Halloween. It is a Halloween and a full moon at the same time. Now let’s make it a trifecta, It is Halloween with a full moon on a Saturday. What could be more special than that? The last time this happened was 1944, during World War II. Not sure anyone was trick or treating that night either. So a World War, a pandemic, seems like the trifecta of Halloween is just plain bad luck.

The good news is the next time that October 31 is on a Saturday and there is a full moon is 2172. That’s 152 years from now. Although it seems like it makes the perfect Halloween, it appears to be nothing but bad luck to have this trifecta. So I am glad that not only will I not be around, but neither will my child and if I have any grandchildren, they probably won’t be either in 2172. I just don’t want anyone I will ever know in my whole lifetime to have to endure a Halloween like this one. I am not even counting the election is this mess.

In the future Halloween could be moved to permanently be celebrated on the last Saturday in October, which would make so much sense. If that is the case, then we certainly could have a Halloween trifecta much sooner than 2172. But considering how the last two have turned out I am not sure it is something we should wish for.

The good news is this is the first year in 25 that I have not bought and therefore consumed any Halloween Candy. Instead of getting ready for trick or treaters, I made six of my eight raised garden beds. They are actually very spooky because they look like giant coffins in a fenced in grave yard.

I hope when I wake up in the morning there are no skeletons in the boxes. This being 2020 I am not counting that out.

I’m Getting Good at Screwing…

boards together. Where did you think I was going with that? This isn’t that kind of blog. It’s free.

After test screwing yesterday I went into full on production work today. I made one whole raised bed that was 8 foot by 2 foot, but found that once I had it all together it was too heavy for me to lift off the saw horses by myself. Thankfully Russ had a minute between calls to help me move it.

Since he is working twenty hours a day I don’t like to ask him to help me, but I see I am going to need his help this weekend as he will only have work, but no zooms. So to keep moving forward I made the long panels of the raised beds which involved fastening two eight or ten foot board together with a brace in the middle and a brace on each end, which the short two foot pieces will be attached to.

Besides the fully assembled box I made, I completed the long sides for four more boxes. I went to cut the end pieces but found I was not as good with the circular saw today as I was yesterday. I will need to ask Russ what I am doing wrong. But after five hours of screwing I was pretty much done and now need to recover.

Hopefully I will be all done screwing by Sunday and can move on to laying…

Pipe for my irrigation system. Really, haven’t you learned your lesson yet?

TV Eventually Pays Off

When I was a kid I would sometimes get in trouble for watching too much TV. It was really rich since my parents gave me a tiny black and white Sony TV for Christmas when I was 12. I think they just didn’t want my adolescent self around the rest of the family.

Some of what I used to watch was actual crap, ie: the Brady Bunch or the Partridge family, but some was quite educational. I learned quite a lot from the French Chef, Julia Child and I use all that knowledge to this day.

When I met Russ I started watching This Old House with him faithfully. Not only did we watch the current seasons, but we would watch past seasons. This year This Old House turns 40 and I estimate I have seen every episode at least three times.

For as much crap as I used to take for watching TV I am happy to say that This Old House paid off. Today, after the wind and rain of Zeta passed by I decided to start building the raised beds for the garden. It was late in the day, but I wanted to test out my design. So I got out all the needed power tools, the circular saw and the impact driver and set up the saw horses in the driveway and went to work. I happily clamped together my cedar and drove deck screws into the boards attaching them to another piece of wood to act as the corner connectors. Norm Abram would be proud.

Today we have You Tube where you can learn to do most anything, but back in the day it was mostly just PBS. Sure I learned how to change out a toilet, something I hope never to do, but at least I learned that being nice to your plumber pays off in big ways.

For now, I am glad that I can do these things myself. It is next to impossible to find someone who you can pay to do it and then they charge an arm and a leg. Tomorrow I tackle clamping right angles and creating corners. I may need a new tool.

Another Lama Conversation

I was still in my nightgown when Russ looked out the window of his office this morning and said, “Your wood is getting delivered.” I jumped into my clothes and ran outside in time to meet my delivery driver who was already on he piggyback fork lift with my cedar planks on the forks coming down the driveway. I don’t know how they used to deliver construction materials before the invention of the fork lift that could ride on the back of a tractor trailer. It certainly is nice to have my deliveries put in the exact spot I need them.

The driver placed the beautiful wood down and got off the fork lift to hand me my invoice. It should have been a quick job, but he asked me what I was going to use this wood for. That began the long conversation and tour of my garden project.

When I told him that someone suggested I could keep a lama inside the enclosure he told me he used to have a lama. I am so starved for actual conversation with humans that I talked with the driver for a good fifteen minutes. According to him lamas are supposed to live for 25-30 years, but when they get sick they don’t show any signs of feeling bad. I have not verified this information, but found it interesting.

I wish that dogs would live to be 30 years old. It seems like every week I see a posting on Facebook of another friend who has lost their dog. It just is the worst insult in this terrible year to lose your dog too. A few years back I encouraged my Dad to get a dog, but he said he didn’t want to have his dog outlive him. At the rate my Dad is going he could have gotten a dog, not a lama, but at least a hound.

The delivery driver told me he only had his lama seven years because he was older when he got him. He said he still misses him even though he has been gone for years. “Looking at your enclosure is giving me the idea to build one to get a new lama.” I was happy my garden gave someone else an ideal make their lives happier. Oh the conversations I have with strangers during COVID.

Keeping My Mind Off the Election Busy Work

I purposely started this major garden project in September as I was about to lose my mind with this election. The days were going slower than a five year old waiting for Christmas so having a hard labor project seemed like the perfect remedy.

I had timed most of it perfectly. It took me about four weeks to build and fill the garden wall. Another week to build the fence. I finally found a source for the cedar I wanted to build the raised beds and ordered it. Then the supplier delayed my delivery by a couple of days due to not enough delivery drivers.

Rather than move right into that building phase I have had four unscheduled days. I did all the prep work for I could by pre-cutting all the corner supports and dragging twenty-five year old card board out of the attic for the base of the beds. I knew there was a reason I had saved those wardrobe boxes from our last move.

With the days barley eeking by I needed to stay busy or lose my mind looking at data on 538 and rear clear politics. So I used some of the left over block and built a retaining eyebrow next to the driveway where the land sloped down too quickly and thus so did the gravel. I also continued digging up the clay that fell down the alleyway between my garden beds when it got delivered. That sloping path had always been a problem so as I dug up clay I installed steps. I am half way finished with that project, but it is a satisfying one.

I also installed the bunny gates on the backside of the garden. One of the frustrating things about this project is not being able to source the exact fencing I designed.

The fence is to keep out two types of critters, deer and bunnies. Bunnies need tightly woven fence of one inch or less openings and deer need sturdy fence. I wanted heavy gauge wire with large openings at the top going down to smaller opening at the bottom. This does not exist in four four heights. Why? So I had to make my own by putting two fences together. Since I did not want to run two fences on the back side which is four feet off the ground to start I just put little gates so bunnies would not hop on the little runway and slip in under the back.

This project is all about the details. Russ wants me to put a sign on the gate. I balked at those horrible router carved wood signs. I have a feeling designing the sign and what it might say will take me longer than designing the whole rest of the project. Off to Pintrest for inspiration. It’s a good way to keep my mind off the election.

The Rules Should Apply To Everyone

When five people who work as closely with Pence as possible come down with COVID the rules say that he should quarantine. As the head of the Covid task force he knows this. So what does he do? He goes out to an in-person rally and uses the excuse that he is an essential worker. Even essential workers have to quarantine, but Pence is anything but essential at a political rally, let alone ever.

Yes, he and mother both tested negative, initially, but as we all know you don’t always test positive right away. Thus the need for quarantining. I am so tired of people thinking the rules that are for the good of us all do not apply to them.

Kansas had an excellent case study in mask wearing. The state allowed each county to decided if they were going to mandate wearing masks. 20 Counties of the 105 decided they would have a mask mandate and the others did not. Based on cell phone data people in both kinds of counties went out an equal amount of time over the months of the study. But no shock to me, the counties with the mask mandates had half the number of infections.

It could not be more clear that wearing masks and following the rules to quarantine if you are exposed can dramatically cut down on the spread of Covid. If you look at Covid data by state the places that have no mask mandates have higher percentages of infections. Take North Dakota, the worst state to live in if you don’t want to get Covid. They have no mask mandate and their infection rate is 50 people out of 1,000 in North Dakota have already had Covid. It is not like people in North Dakota even live that close to each other. They had to really work to catch the virus.

Just so you can compare, in Vermont it is 3 people out of 1,000 have had Covid. Even in NY a state that was the epicenter of the virus at first has a rate of 27 out of 1,000. In NY they took seriously wearing masks and have gotten their spread way down.

So wear a mask if you go out. Sign up for your states Covid Tracking App. In NC it is called Slow Covid NC. Go find it in the App Store and install it on your phone. And for God’s sake, if you come in contact with someone who tests positive, don’t be a Pence, quarantine. It’s your civic duty.

Yard Sign Time

As you drive around it seems as if everyone has a yard sign or two, a flag or banner declaring their allegiance to a candidate or party. Then there are the “black lives matters”signs and the “I believe in Science…”. Then there are the snarky signs, BYE DON, with a wisp of yellow hair. So many signs declaring so much. Some of them I am happy to see, but others trouble me to know such things about a neighbor or friend.

Our church decided we wanted to get in on the sign game. We have a church Motto which our former Pastor Hayward Holderness declared for us any years ago. Micha 6.8- “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God.”

We simplify it to the essence, Do Justice, Love Kindness and Walk Humbly. It fairly much tells you everything our church is about. So what better could we put upon a yard sign than those words. It this time of such divisiveness it is nice to have a reminder of what is important.

Although we don’t have in-person church services during COVID we did have a drive through day this afternoon to make our stewardship pledges and pick up a yard sign if you wanted one. Russ and I had made our pledge online, but we wanted a sign.

We may not have a sign for a candidate, or an ideology, but I feel that this sign speaks volumes about what we really believe. It also clearly indicates who we voted for, whose lives we think matter and even that science matters. We didn’t have to put a snarky sign out, even though I adore them. I don’t have to piss off my neighbors who don’t believe what we believe, because we love kindness.

I hope to have leaders at every level who also believe these things. Not just in a biblical way, like some evangelicals who can quote the Bible, but don’t live it. I want leaders who live these things. It seems like a small standard to hold any of us to.

Dickinson Day

After spending most of the day working on my garden project I took a break late this afternoon to have a call with a young woman who is thinking about going to my alma mater, Dickinson College. I welcomed this call. Any chance to get to talk about the college I loved attending is a good day for me. It was also a chance to sit down and think rather than do back breaking work.

We started the call with her asking me what were my reason’s for choosing Dickinson. I told her it boiled down to feeling I got from the people I met when I visited and the people I knew who went there. I went on to tell her that those people I got to know while I was there are still some of my favorite people on earth. Some were great friends with me while I was there and some have become great friends since we left, but there is something about how Dickinson chooses people and curates each class that is special.

We talked for an hour. I told her of my self-paced bowling class I started just so I could get that final PE credit to graduate, and my summer study abroad in France because I was terrible at languages and I figured it was the only way I could fulfill my language requirement. Mostly what I told her about were my friends and my professors who became my friends, and people I hardly knew at school, but became my friends later and how they turned out to be interesting and successful and nice people. I can hardly think of a person I went to college with who I would not like to spend time with today and I am don’t always like everyone.

As I listened to why she was interested in Dickinson I was thrilled that she highlighted many of the things that I felt made it special. The welcoming belonging feeling you get when you visit. The sincerity of the warmth of the people. The broad cross sections of interests of the people. It’s the people. Yes, it is a beautiful old campus, with great Professors who get to know you as a student, but also as a person.

After a pleasant hour on phone we hung up. I came inside and Russ had the Bruce Springsteen special on Apple TV playing. Bruce was the soundtrack of my years at Dickinson. It was as if I was transported back forty years dancing to Rosilita. What a nice way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Sending hugs out to my Dickinson brethren. I miss you all.

Fall Flavors Pasta Bake

It may have been almost eighty degrees here today, but we wanted fall flavors. So I put together all our favorites into one yummy dish. I wanted a really sage filled sausage so I made it myself with ground pork and it was yummy. I will include my sausage recipe here, but you can make this easier if you just buy a sage breakfast sausage. Just add a few of the spices I put in my sausage into the dish if you use store bought sausage.

Sausage

1 pound ground pork

1T. Garlic powder

1T. Fennel seeds

1 t. Anise seeds

1/2 t. Paprika

1/4 t. Cayenne pepper

1 T. Salt

1 T. Ground black pepper

2 T. Ground sage

3 pinches of red pepper flakes

In a dry fry pan put the fennel and anise seeds and toast on medium heat until they start they smell. Using a mortar and pestle grind them up.

Mix all the spices with the pork.

1 small butternut squash, peeled, seeded and diced in 3/4 inch cubes

2 fennel bulbs, sliced thinly

Giant bag of baby spinach

1 T. Oil

1/2 t. Nutmeg

1 pound of rigatoni

1 cup of Quattro formagi Trader Joe’s cheese

1/2 c. Grated gruyere

1 cup grated Parmensan

Preheat oven to 450°. Cover a cookie sheet with foil and spray with Pam. Lay out butternut squash in single layer and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast in oven for 25 minutes, until the squash starts to turn brown. When cooked put a pinch of nutmeg on squash.

Put a big pot of water on the stove to cook the rigatoni according to package directions less one minute. Don’t put the rigatoni in water until you have started the fennel.

In fry pan, crumble up sausage and cook on medium heat until done, about seven minutes. Remove the meat from the pan,leaving the oil. Place the meat in a greased 9×13 baking dish.

Add the fennel to the fry pan that has the sausage grease in it and add oil. Cook fennel until wilted, about ten minutes on medium high heat. Salt and pepper the fennel and add to the meat in the baking dish.

Using the same fry pan put the spinach in and cover and heat for 30 seconds and remove from heat still covered until the spinach wilts. Sprinkle with a touch of nutmeg and add to the baking dish. It may take two batches to wilt all the spinach.

Add the rigatoni and the butternut squash to the baking dish and toss everything together. Add the Quattro formagi and the gruyere and toss. Sprinkle the Parmensan on top.

Reduce the oven heat to 300° and bake for 20 minutes, tenting with foil half way through.

Pin-Up Calendar?

Twice this week I received this e-mail from Melania Trump titled, “The Official 2021 Trump Calendar.” I want to know who in the Trump organization thought it was a good idea to have the woman who used to pose nude for a living offer a calendar? I am of an age when I had to endure calendar’s of nude women hanging up in mechanic’s garages when I went to get my oil changed in my car. I never quite understood how it was OK to display those in public places. So when a former nude model offers a calendar that is the first thing that comes to mind.

Of course that might be exactly what many of the misogynist supporters of this President might like and even expect. It is just so bold to offer a calendar for a year that might not be your year, but I have a feeling many Trump supporters will go to their graves loving him. They have to, to stand by a man who can lie more than fifty times a day, according to the Fact Checker team at the Washington Post.

Now if Melania were offering Trump Dart Boards that might be a product I could get behind and one that could stir up some good rumors about her and her husband’s relationship. For now it’s just calendars. Now that I think of it, no where does she say they are not nude photos, but I don’t EVER want to see a photo of the Donald without a suit on. It’s bad enough just to see him in golf clothes.

Garden Project Halfway Done

Planning out this garden project I chunked it into four sections. The first was expanding the flat surface by 100 percent by building a forty foot retaining wall that was four feet high. This was the most physical part of the project, the most boring and the one I did mostly alone. The building was not that boring, but the shoveling the clay fill dirt was hell. I calculate I shoveled 72,000 pounds thanks to the rainy days soaking the dirt.

The second phase of the project was building the garden enclosure. After looking at hundreds of Pintrest pages of garden fences I designed what I thought would serve me well that I could do myself. I purchased the materials and had a church friend come and help me build it. We did the posts in one day, cementing 13– 10 foot four by fours around the perimeter. We framed it another day. On the third day we attached the wire which included 2×4 inch big wire to keep deer out and 1x 1 bunny wire that runs into the ground. David also built the garden gate on the third day. The fourth day he came back for a couple hours just to do a little finish work to give the enclosure a look that was a step up from a deer fence.

Now that it is done I have had some suggestions about what I can use the enclosure for besides a garden. It could be a chicken coop, a home for a lama, a Christmas village, and the worst suggestion was an internment camp.

I still have to do a little leveling of the fill dirt, but it does not have to be perfect. I still have two more major jobs to do. First, build the raised beds. I am on the search for cedar wood and once I get the right dimensional lumbar I can build those. Then install the irrigation system I have designed. That will involve more digging and actual plumbing. I think I can handle that.

Once all that is done I will have to fill the beds with the right garden soil mix and cover the pathways between the beds with wood chips. So despite my excitement for having the wall and fence done I am still a long way from being done.

A couple of side projects have crept up while I was building. I need to build steps out of block into the the slope next to the garden. I constructed a compost bay since I will need lots of compost for this garden and I may add an additional bay to it and I need to lay some slate for the entrance to the garden. I hope it is not an early or cold winter because I am going to be working on this everyday for a while. At least I have the hardest parts done.

A Surprise in The Mail Today

When my Aunt and Uncle moved into my grandparent’s farm house they also got all the furnishing in the house. There was not much that other people might want, like the metal cots that my father and his brother slept in as children. They were such horrible beds the grandchildren christened them “the dread bedz”. Thankfully as the oldest grandchild I usually scored a different bed, one with a bottle of Old Grandad turned into a lamp next to it. Like I said, not a lot of things anyone would want.

Today my Aunt sent me a package that contained two little cookbooks that had been my grandmother’s, which were part of the contents my Aunt inherited. The cookbooks are little spiral bound books that were handmade. One was a Pawleys Island cookbook put together by All Saints Waccamaw Church. All Saints used to be an Episcopal Church for hundreds of years. When I was a child sometimes we would visit it when we were at Pawleys. Sadly All Saints left the Episcopal church in 2004 to become an Anglican Church of the crazy fringe far, far right. Thankfully the cookbook is from the good old days of the church.

The other cook book is one I am most excited to have. It is from the Tip Top Inn on Pawleys Island. Tip Top was an Inn three doors down from my Aunt Haidee’s house. If you stayed there you got three meals a day included in you room and board. My father would sometimes finagle a table for us to eat one meal there during our vacation as we stayed at our house and not at Tip Top. As non lodgers the only table we might get was the staff table in a tiny side room away from all the fancy guests.

The food was made by the superior African American women who ran the kitchen. These ladies could really cook. I know that the owner Mrs. Dingle put together the cookbook, but I am certain the recipes are just suggestions of what the real cooks made.

It was a good thing we didn’t stay at Tip Top because if you ate all your meals there for two weeks you would easily gain fifteen pounds. Here is a sample of one day’s menu.

My Aunt wrote me that now I am the keeper of these books, but it will be up to me to pass them on to one of my family members who spent the summer at Pawleys with me every summer. I am happy to do that, but first I want to make the deviled crab, which was my favorite Tip Top dish. Thanks Aunt Janie for these precious gifts.

Staying Busy is Good For Me

For the last five weeks I have been working on increasing my garden and fencing it in. As the many neighbors and friends who walk by I hear a lot of comments of encouragement and many questions about why I am doing this myself. One reason I decided to do this myself is because I can. For the record I built the wall by myself with a little help moving blocks from Brandon and Russ, but the actual building was all me. I also moved over 22 yards of fill dirt myself. But I have had the great aid and expertise of David McQuaid to help me build the fence.

I designed the fence and showed David what I wanted. One of the reason I hired him is he was OK with my working with him. I wanted to have my hands on every aspect of this project. He took me literally and I have been a full on carpenter with him. Thankfully he did not make me use the pneumatic nail gun when I told him I would rather not do that.

Spending all day as a full on carpenter is exhausting. David and I framed out the whole fence today and it is ready for wire tomorrow. I am so thankful for his help.

As I thought about why I felt the need to do this it came to me. This project has saved my sanity during the last few weeks of the election. I am not sure I could handle having an idle mind right now. When I work on the project alone I listen to books and when working with David we listen to the radio on a station that plays stuff from my high school years.

I am going to be happy to have something tangible for COVID. Next summer when I am harvesting my crop of vegetable from my new garden I will thank God for the time I had to build the new garden. Being very busy is the best thing I can do right now.