Don’t Be Like a Dog

I saw a great video on instagram today. In the forefront of the picture is a hand holding a gnawed up broken pencil and in the back ground is a dog standing there with his eyes closed. The voice of the man holding the pencil is saying, “Who chewed up my pencil? Did you chew up my pencil.” The dog just stands there, refusing to open their eyes.

The man says, “ You think if you don’t look at it it makes you less guilty?” The dog continues to stand there with his eyes closed.

I laughed so hard, but then had a terrible thought. That dog is like half of Americans. They vote for people who allow people to be chewed up by gun violence and refuse to look at the deaths. They think if we keep our eyes closed and don’t acknowledge the senseless murders then they don’t have to consider their role in the deaths.

Common sense gun reform should be at the top of all legislative agendas. Mass killings don’t happen in other civilized countries. Other countries have mental illness, yet they still don’t have more than one mass shooting everyday like we do in America. The difference is access to guns.

For god’s sake, wake up and open your eyes. Stop voting for people who wear AR-15 lapel pins in congress. No one outside of military needs those. Don’t be like a dog and think you are not guilty if you don’t open your eyes. You are more guilty for keeping your eyes shut.

Unearthing old Treasures

Our new carpenter Eric arrived today to fix some woodwork in our sunroom. He is an actual craftsman because when he looked at the job he asked me if I wanted the room repainted or just the spot that he was repairing. I told him to do the whole room and he said that was the right answer to make sure it is perfect and therefore he would take the job.

As he got to work I went off to Garden Club at Anne Eberdt’s beautiful house. After the meeting I returned home to find that Eric had removed all the sofas, rugs, chairs, tables, lamps and orchids from the room single-handedly, including an antique blanket chest which held over 300 record albums. In order to move the chest he took the albums out in the alphabetical order they were in and placed them in piles in front of my fireplace.

Many of these LP’s are from my high school and college years. Well loved and deep-grooved James Taylor and Jackson Browne’s filled the chest. I had started storing these records in the chest back in the days that I still listened to albums on my turn table. When we moved to this house the chest was needed in the sunroom and the albums stayed in it, far from my old stereo.

So I took this opportunity of the albums being out of the chest to move them to the gathering room, next to the stereo that still works perfectly forty years later thanks to my Dad always gifting the best in stereo equipment. I have vowed to listen to one album a day until I have worked my way through this collection, then start on the other 100 albums that are already up by the stereo. I will be going in alphabetical order by artist so tomorrow I will start with Laurie Anderson. I guess when I get to the artists that I have multiple albums from I will have to put them into age order and start with the oldest ones first.

Every once in a while I will report the highlights and low lights. They say that music memory is the last thing to go. I can’t wait to relive my teenage years only in music. Who knows what angst I will bring up.

Love For Everyone

When I was in school there was an organization that sold carnations to be delivered on Valentine’s Day. I don’t remember all the details, but they sold different colors for different meanings. If you bought a carnation you got to write a little note that was attached to the stem. It was an easy way to tell your friends you loved them.

If you didn’t have a sweetheart it was a nice way to not feel left on out the holiday for those in love. I can remember everyone carrying round bunches of flowers which made us all so happy.

I loved getting those flowers from my friends and if I had someone special on Valentine’s Day from him too. The thing I recall was wondering what about the people who didn’t get any flowers. Valentines is hard enough if you are uncoupled, but to also appear friendless too made the day twice as bad.

After more than 30 years of marriage I now consider Valentine’s Day a day for amateurs. I am shown act of love daily and those are what are important to me. The last thing I want on Valentine’s Day are some over priced flowers, or a dinner out at a much too busy restaurant or chocolates which will just bring me guilt.

Russ knows that putting the garbage out and bringing me my iced tea in bed is the perfect way to tell me he loves me.

Tomorrow I want to wish love not only to my sweetheart and my daughter, but to all my uncoupled friends who may feel like this day leaves them out. Love comes in many forms and I am certain we are all loved in various ways for many different reasons. Consider this blog many different colored carnations just so you know you are thought about and loved. It’s love for everyone.

Super Bowl Buffalo Cauliflower

It’s just me and Russ cheering on the Eagles at home. I wanted to make something for dinner that had the feel of Super Bowl food without doing too much. I decided to make air fryer Buffalo cauliflower. It wasn’t too crispy, but it was yummy. So yummy in fact I skipped eating anything else. That’s a win for me.

1 head of cauliflower broken into florets all the same size

Batter

1/4 cup corn starch

1/2 cup flour

2 t. Garlic powder

1/2 t. Salt

2 t. Smoked paprika

Just enough water to make a batter

1 1/2 T. Melted butter

1 T. Reds extra hot sauce

1 1/2 T. Crumbled blue cheese

Spray the rack of your air fryer with Pam. Pre heat airfryer to 450°

Make the batter in a bowl big enough to hold the cauliflower. Add just enough water to make the batter a little thinner than pancake batter.

Add the cauliflower and stir it all around until it is all coated with the batter, including inside the little limbs.

Place each floret on the rack of the air fryer with a tray underneath because some batter will fall off.

Place in air fryer for 9 mins. Make sure it doesn’t get too dark.

Meanwhile clean the bowl and put the melted butter and hot sauce in it and mix together. When the cauliflower is cooked remove from rack and place in the bowl with the butter hot sauce. Toss everything together.

Plate the cauliflower and sprinkle with blue cheese. You will never miss the chicken wings.

The Dusting Rabbit Hole

Some years ago my housekeeper told me she couldn’t lift my vacuum. She is a small woman and had lost all her helpers and was unable to get any new people thanks to an unfriendly government situation.

When I figured up how much I spent and how much we had to earn to pay her it was a no brainer that I should clean my own house. I was giving myself a $15,000 raise to do it.

I find great satisfaction in mopping my kitchen floor, but not much in dusting. There is something rewarding to see my own reflection in that gleaming floor. I should learn to look down at myself when I clean the dining room table. I probably would like it more.

The only issue I have with cleaning my own house is there are some rooms I just don’t go in that often so I forget to clean them. Yesterday I used the guest room bathroom. While hanging out in there I got a close up view of the floor. Wonder when the last time I scrubbed it? Then I threw back the shower curtain. Are those dust bunnies in the tub? How in the world can a dust bunny get in the tub.

So the excitement for the day was cleaning that bathroom. It was obvious when I turned the water on in the tub that faucet had not been used in quite a while.

I guess I need to be more systematic in my cleaning and not just think that because I mop the kitchen floor multiple times a week my house is clean. It is getting close to spring so I could consider a top to bottom cleaning of every room the right thing to do. Usually this is a “if you give a mouse a cookie” type of situation. I anticipate that I will find drawers, cabinets and closets that will need to be cleaned out along with dusting the baseboards and behind the sofas.

If you don’t hear from me for a while it’s because I have fallen down some rabbit hole of vacuuming the chimney. Well, I am making $15,000, it’s the least I can do.

Friday Like It’s 2013

A few years back I would often spend an afternoon sitting at the stitching table at Chapel Hill Needlepoint catching up with the stitching advisors, as I liked to call my needlepoint friends. Then needlepoint Nancy had to move the store because her space was being sold. She moved to a nice store front closer to downtown, but just that much further from home and harder for me to stop by just to stitch.

Then the pandemic came and we had to abandon the stitching table all together and make appointments to come shop.

Today was a throw back to the old days. I went over to the store with the plan of stitching and visiting all afternoon. I brought the fabric that is the inspiration for my next four big projects. Bought the needed canvas and spent my whole Christmas present from my mother.

It was delightful to learn what others were reading, eating and watching as we worked out canvases. It was just like the old days, but sadly without Ann.

I have missed sitting with the stitching advisors and am going to make a concerted effort to come join the table at least once a month. There are no better people to tell you the best of everything you might be looking for and even things you never thought you needed.

Today I learned of the best donuts in Durham, but I had to let that information go in one ear and out another. Thanks to Nancy for making needlepointing so fun and so welcoming. I have been to plenty of other stores where I have felt like just walking in the store was a huge intrusion.

I loved rekindling the camaraderie of the stitching table. It was just like it was in 2013 only now I am a much better stitcher.

Welcome Home

Recently I got an email from Amanda MacLaren, the editor of Durham Magazine. Was I interested in writing an installment of a new column in the magazine? It had been a while since I had done work at the magazine and I said, “Of course, I would be happy to contribute.”

Today I was invited to the office lunch to discuss the column. I was happy to get to catch up with Dan and Ellen Shannon, Rory Gillis as well as Amanda. They are practically the only people still at the magazine from my years there. Sadly Kevin Brown, the Creative director, who is the only other person I knew, was out sick.

It was great to catch up with the goings on. I joked with Dan that they had not fired me yet. His response was perfect Dan, “We never fired you. You still work here.”

I got to meet the current photographer, John Micheal Simpson who took a group photo of us. Dan had him take a new head shot of me for the magazine which I was not prepared for. “Please use my fifteen year old head shot the Brianna Brough took.” John Micheal took one anyway.

For now I have a short deadline to meet, nothing new in the magazine business. Meeting deadline was never my problem. I always have something to say.

Tea Time

Tea Time

So much fun to be invited to Jan’s house for a tea party today. Jan inherited a lot of beautiful tea cups and has enjoyed having tea parties with her grand children. I was thrilled she decided to have one for her new neighborhood friends along with some of us old friends.

Jan had the many tiny cups and saucers set out on a side board. Each guest picked their favorite and were free to sample as many teas as they liked.

The kitchen Island was laden with at least 17 different teas and small tea pots. Jan had made description cards for each tea so I was able to study the teas before tasting. Thankfully her instant hot water dispenser made brewing the teas simple.

It was obvious from the laden dining room table that Jan had been cooking for days. I had to hold back from sampling the goodies, but they looked beautiful.

Catching up with Deanna and Judy was a highlight of the party. I also got to see many of my Mah Jongg students and only had to answer three of four questions about the game. True to form I had forgotten a few people’s names. When I asked Jan to remind of two ladies names’ she told me one name as they both were named the same thing. You think I could remember one name.

Thanks Jan for the highlight of the week. Tea with friends is always a treat.

No More Shopping for Russ

On days I teach Mah Jongg at night I don’t really get to eat dinner. I bring a snack on my drive over to Raliegh and eat it in the car before I go in to set up for class. Since it is usually around 5:40 that I am setting up I am not really hungry and am not the best teacher on a full stomach.

By the time I get home close to ten at night I am too tired to eat and I need a two hour window between eating and taking my nighttime medication so I am out of luck. I can have a drink though. My favorite nighttime treat is a Gosslings Diet Ginger beer, with half a lime’s worth of juice and two cherries and a splash of cherry juice. I don’t think that eating those two cherries counts as eating too much to affect my medication.

On his way home from work tonight Russ asked me if I needed anything at the store. I said I needed a jar of maraschino cherries. What he brought home was the most exquisite and expensive cherries I have ever seen. I think they are meant for high end Manhattans and not my little mocktail.

The cherry is clearly the highlight of this drink. I might give up eating dinner every night in order to justify drinking one of these drinks with these cherries. I am not sure I am ever going to be able to go back to the neon red $1.29 cherries again. Of course I am going to have to keep on teaching Mah Jongg to afford these outrageous ones. How expensive are they? $8.99 a jar. I almost fell over when the receipt fell out of the bag.

Next time Russ asks me if I need anything at the store I am going to say no. He can’t be left to his own devices in the grocery.

Why Cash?

I feel like I am one of the few people who still use cash. I have great credit and obviously use credit cards all the time. I have friends who are experts at card management and can recite which cards they get the most rebates on for every type of possible transaction. That is great.

I like to pay with cash when I am shopping at any small store or sole proprietor operation. Here is the reason. Each time I pay someone with a card they have to pay a merchant fee of anywhere from 1 to 3%. Granted that fee is worked into the prices of their items, but that fee goes directly to the card processor.

If I buy something for $100 at a small local store then they don’t have to pay, say $2 To the card processor, which is usually a bank. That store owner uses the $100 to pay for something else local and saves that merchant $2. And so on. and on. The $100 is still $100.

Consider if instead of cash we all just used cards and every merchant paid %2. I pay $100 to the first store, but they only get $98, because $2 went to the bank. They spent the $98 using a card, but the place they spent it only end up getting $96.04. They spend that on a card and the place they spent it only gets to keep $94.12. That person takes that money and spends it using a card and the place they spent it only gets to keep $92.24. And the next place only gets to keep $90.40.

So in five transactions the bank made $10 off the original $100. If everyone spent the $100 cash they would have all had more to spend.

I know that cash management has issues. Handling cash is work and then there is the potential of theft, but if it is a small business or someone who does some work for you, consider cash.

If we go to a cashless society it will be hard on poorer people who do not have access to banks at reasonable rates. Or people who have bad credit and pay more interest on credit cards. Or just people who keep themselves out of financial trouble by paying cash. If those of us who have none of those issues stop using cash then stores might stop accepting cash which means that we have a two tiered society. Those who can shop their Way because they have credit and those who can’t.

In order to help those less fortunate, pay with cash once in a while. And pay cash to those who run small businesses. You may miss a some rebates, but it will be a way to help those who need it.

Extroverted Travel Sleep Problems

I have multiple sleep issues when I travel. First if I am with friends I am too hyped up to sleep having gained super human waking powers from being with people.

Then there is the problem of fearing I might over sleep when I have an early morning flight. So last night I could not go to sleep because I was having so much fun with my friends Suzanne and Janet and then when I finally did fall asleep I slept only two hours before I started my fifteen minute sleep/wake cycle waiting for my alarm clock. So for three hours I woke up every fifteen minutes and looked at the time.

I am finally home and picked up Shay. She is passed out from exhaustion of being away from home and I am feeling her. Trying to stay awake to see Russ who gets home at 9:30 from his 10 day trip.

Not Enough Hours

It is so beautiful in Scottsdale there are just not enough hours to enjoy everything we wanted to do. Our day started with a long walk. It was longer than we anticipated because after walking along a trail next to the Indian reservation we got into a neighborhood that we couldn’t get out of easily so our 2 mile walk was more like three and a half.

The fun part was the free lemons and grapefruit we got along the way as well as they many cute dogs we met. My favorite were a pair of sheepdogs named Ava and Liz, after Ava Gardner and Elizabeth Taylor. They had matching water spout pony tails on the top of their heads so you could see their cute faces.

Since I had not anticipated the extra mileage on the walk I got a blister on my heel because I did not wear socks. Janet saved me, but I learned my lesson.

Luckily the rest of the day consisted of teaching Suzanne more Mah Jongg, playing Mah Jongg with Janet’s sister-in-law Lisa who came by to play, cooking, eating and learning a new game called Play Nine.

The time together has gone so fast and I am already sad about our early morning trip to the airport. We just don’t see each other as often as we would like. We say this every time we are together. There are just not enough hours in life.

The Most Perfect Day

After not being able to fall sleep last night I finally passed out after 2:18AM. That was really 4:18 my body’s time. Despite my lack of sleep today has been as fun as any day can be.

Not surprisingly we spent half the day in our night clothes, which happen to be matching navy blue PJ ‘s and night gowns with white piping. We spent the whole morning playing /teaching Mah Jongg. Suzanne, as the newbie, is sufficiently addicted.

Well after Noon we actually dressed and left the house. We spent the whole afternoon at the Dessert Botanical Garden. It was just the most beautiful spot and we walked every loop and looked at thousands of species of cacti and succulents.

When the dessert air dried us out we sat on the patio drinking prickly pear ice tea, telling stories and watching the dessert quails scurry about.

We had a very early reservation at a chichi restaurant Tocco Madera in Scottsdale. We were not dressed up, and could have cared less and went in our sneakers.

Dinner was a yummy adventure, mostly an opportunity to tell each other more stories.

After our very full day we returned to Janet’s house and hardly have energy to do anything more than watch a documentary. We will see if I can keep my eyes open. I need to reload for more fun tomorrow.

Extra

When I was very young and someone would ask me if I had any extra money that I could give them I always responded, “there is no such thing as extra money.”

Now I feel like that there is no such thing as extra time. That is unless you travel west and gain some hours. That is what I did today. I flew out to Arizona to visit my college friend Janet with our friend Suzanne.

My flights were many. I had to fly through Austin which was iffy given their weather problems and then on to Phoenix. Thankfully by the time my plane landed in Austin the ice was gone.

On each flight my watch kept adjusting giving me an extra hour. That helped keep my mind off the fact I was skipping any midday meal.

Eventually I got to Janet and Suzanne after enduring a very rude couple who chose to sit next to me. Being with two of my favorite people, who I share so many years of history with makes everything wonderful. Even staying up talking until almost two in the morning my time is only possible because I am with them.

So I rush to post this blog in my current time zone, before the clock strikes midnight. I got two extra hours in my day. Proving me wrong for just today that there is such a thing as extra time, even if it is just a loan I have to repay on Sunday. Sadly there was no extra money thrown in the equation to day. I’ll take great friends over money any day.

Not My Face?

It would be wonderful to know what my device is looking for when I try and open an app with Face ID. Lately I have been getting “Face Not Recognized.”

I was thrilled when Face ID was introduced. I hate trying to remember user names and passwords, especially since we are encouraged to use unique ones for both. I liked the fingerprint way of getting into things, but that did not last long.

Apparently my face must change a lot or I must be making some crazy faces so that apps don’t know it’s me. I wish we had voice recognition. My voice is distinctive. Carter says I could be the voice that security systems use to voice threaten robbers away.

For now I am going to have to practice some non-emotional face that my phone knows is me, or else give up all technology.

No Real Shoes No More

I’m planning for some warm weather trips. I am a carry-on only girl. Looking over my wardrobe the most important plan is how to bring as few shoes as possible.

If it were acceptable I would just wear AllBirds all the time. In warm places I don’t mind sandals, but I have more or less given up real shoes. Heaven forbid I have to go to someplace dressy and wear grown up shoes.

So as I look at my shoes my real decision is which color AllBirds?

Snickerdoodles

I was at a gathering of some friends today and the talk turned to cookies. I mentioned that I had just made the dough for snickerdoodles that I was baking tonight. The cookies are for a celebration at church, which is about the only way I will be baking any cookies these days.

A friend asked me if my snickerdoodles were fat or thin. “Fat,” I replied as all good snickerdoodles should be. She said hers turned out too thin and asked me the secret. I asked if her recipe had cream of tartar and baking soda. Her’s did not. I’m not sure it is a secret, but I promised I would give her my recipe. Then another friend asked if I would send it to everyone, so here it is.

Snickerdoodles

Four dozen small cookies or two dozen big ones

2 sticks room temp unsalted butter

1 c. White sugar

1/2 c. Brown sugar

3 c. All purpose flour

2 t. Cream of tartar

1 t. Baking soda

1 1/2 t. Cinnamon

1/2 t. Salt

1 large egg

1 egg yolk

2. t. Vanilla extract

For Cookie Rolling

1/4 c. Sugar

1 T. Cinnamon

In a stand mixer with he paddle attachment beat the butter and add the white and brown sugars. Mix on medium for two minutes. Add the egg and egg yolk and vanilla and beat until well mixed, scrape down the sides of the bowl.

Add the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. Mix until just mixed. Remove the bowl and take the paddle out. Pack down the dough in the bowl and press plastic wrap down to cover the dough tightly.

Chill for at least four hours.

Mix the sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl.

Preheat oven to 350°.

Using a teaspoon scoop small ball about an inch big out and roll it in your hands, then roll it in the cinnamon sugar. Place on baking sheet covered with parchment paper or a silpat .

Bake for ten minutes and them let rest on baking rack for ten minutes.

The cookies will be soft. Store in airtight container.

You can make the dough balls and freeze for baking later.

Nothing Is As Good As Russ

Russ is off taking care of his Dad so Shay and I are home. I had a long list of things I wanted to get done this weekend. It was an ambitious list, but I knew I had carry over time this week to complete it.

Without Russ I have decided that Shay and I are very lazy. I know I am lucky that Russ is a modern spouse who does more than his fair share of house stuff, but without him I realize how much time it takes to do everything myself.

I did concentrate my time trying to finish my needlepoint purse I have been working on the for two months. Since I would like to have it for summer if I don’t finish it now there is no chance it will see a warm day.

Needing to needlepoint all weekend is how I justify binge watching all of season five of Yellowstone. I also went to church which is a good needlepoint opportunity. When our Pastor Alex said in his sermon that we did not have to be in church and we were free to get up and leave I considered it just for fun. He told me after church when he wrote that he thought I might be the one person to take him up on the offer. Am I predictable or just rebellious?

I didn’t leave church and I’m glad I didn’t. I wouldn’t have gotten more things done on my list if I did.

Shay misses Russ most of all. She keeps looking down to the garage to see if he is going to walk in the door. Poor girl. I am not breaking it to her how long he might be gone. I am no Russ substitute, for anything!

U Dirty Dog

After the at home haircut event yesterday I took Shay to U Dirty Dog to give her a bath and have them trim her feet. There is no dog on earth who hates water more than Shay. Giving her a bath is pure torture.

Russ found this place for me before he took off for a week of elder care. It seemed like a better idea than bending over the bathtub at home.

Shay was wary when we got out of the car at Homestead market. She had never been to this or any other shopping plazas before. As soon as we went in the door she could smell that many dogs had visited this spot before and she gave me the pitiful look of “you are not leaving me here, are you.”

I hope that the staff is used to owners talking to their dogs, because I reassured her we were in this together. Once I had paid we were shown to a washing room. It was much easier to give Shay a bath with a nice soft sprayer and a good standing height tank. They had four different kinds of shampoo to choose from, conditioner and ear cleaning supplies.

I gave Shay the full spa treatment. She was not too unhappy until I turned on the dryer. It was loud and I can see why it scared her. I kept the blower away from her face because I have been told by all her groomers that she does not like to get her face blown out. I concentrated on her feet because I was told they must be dry for her to get her feet trimmed.

I felt like that was not too torturous for her after my terrible haircut. I just wanted to make sure she did not have fur growing between her pads which make going down our wood stairs slippery.

After all of this work on my part the groomer who I had been using texted me that she had made a mistake and could come she Shay next week. Too late. Shay and I have moved on.

Competence, Reliability, Talent, Kindness

These are the qualities I am looking for in a dog groomer. Apparently they are too much to ask for because I have had a terrible time finding and keeping a groomer. The last one I had was a mobile groomer. She was outrageously expensive, but I was willing to pay if she had the right qualities.

The first time she came, she showed up on time and gave Shay an OK haircut. The second time she did not come the day that we had scheduled, but gave me notice and came within two weeks. Shay shivered at the sight of her. She gave a fair to poor hair cut.

I was willing to try her one more time. She scheduled me at the time of the last haircut. I contacted her this week to confirm. She told me she was coming two months from now. WTF.

I showed her the text confirming, but that made little difference. So now she is out. I am sure Shay is glad about that.

I called my vet and got Shay a grooming apt in two months. So I went ahead and did 4/5’s of a very bad haircut on Shay myself. She finally sat down in protest after an hour, so I will finish her legs tomorrow.

I may not be competent when it comes to grooming, but at least Shay does not shake in fear while I am clipping her. I don’t know why it is so hard to find reliable dog groomers, but my quest continues.

The Tale of Two Hip Replacements

I know two people who had hip replacements the same day. One was planned, one was not. One had a compliant patient who followed all the rules and is healing properly. One is not following the rules to heal and thus is not doing as well. One will still be on good terms with their care giver after this is over, one may not be.

The lessons from this are many. If something is wrong get it looked at right away so that you don’t do more harm to yourself than necessary. Once you have a replacement do exactly what the doctors, nurses, physical therapists and occupational therapists say. They know better than you do.

The biggest lesson is be nice to your care givers because you need them. Everyone knows you hurt and are uncomfortable, but don’t take it out on them. Take your pain medication if you hurt. Don’t inflict hurt on your loved ones.

Jane at 85

How can it be? My mom turned 85 today! She is a wonder! I am very proud of her making her transition to her new home in Durham, although it is some here and some home. At least she is making new friends and making her cute apartment a cozy nest.

She is strong and happy and I hope she has a fabulous year. She does not look a day over 65! I only hope some of what she has rubs off on me.

Happy Birthday Mom!

The Best Part of Teaching

Lucky is not the right word, maybe spoiled is closer to the truth. That’s the way I feel when I come to a town in Eastern NC for three days and teach Mah Jongg.

This week is my second trip to Greenville. The number of friends I have made has expanded greatly. Thanks to my host Nikki who organizes everything and who I am staying with on this trip. One of the students Tanya, has made fabulous homemade treats for the whole class each day. She is a world class baker. The quiche this morning was very popular as well as the dark chocolate short bread, I wish I could have tasted them, but the oohing and aahing from the students told the story. This is way beyond the normal kind of snacks that most people have at Mah Jongg class.

Tonight Nikki’s sister-in-law Kara, who I met first at the beach and adored immediately, had a party tonight for me with about a dozen other women. I knew everyone from class, but a few non-Mah Jongg players came who were just fun people to meet. Kara invited me to come early to hang out with her while she made duck poppers, and spicy shrimp and a giant charcuterie platter for the party. That was really over the top.

It is so hard for me to imagine any job I could possibly do where the people are so generous, kind and just so much fun to be with. I have to say that the hospitality in Eastern North Carolina is hard to beat. They really spoil me when I visit.

Eastern NC at It’s Best

It’s Mah Jongg week in Greenville. My friend Nikki who organized Greenville’s first Mah Jongg week just a few months ago did it again for this week. Not only did she fill two classes at the Greenville Country club, she invited me to stay at her house, which is so much nicer than staying at the nicest Hilton in town and that is saying something.

Classes went great today, especially since they started with a class of returning students who I already know and adore. The class of new players are going to do well, but not until tomorrow. There is so much to learn you just can’t take it all in the first day.

After classes finished I came to Nikki’s beautiful house where I met her charming husband Gray. After some visiting we got in the car and picked up Nikki’s sister-in-law Kara, who is one of my favorites and Gray drove us to Williamston, NC to the Sunny Side Oyster bar. This is as Eastern a North Carolina place as you can go.

We walked into the big bar area where you wait for a place at the 32 seat oyster bar. The bar area was three or four times the size of the eating area. We were lucky that it is a Monday in January so we only had to wait about 45 minutes. While we did we played the ring game where you are trying to get the ring hanging from the string attached to the ceiling to get caught on the hook on the wall. There was beer and wine, but don’t ask for Prosecco. The bartender told Nikki, “We have saw dust on the floor,” not a Prosecco type of place.

When four seats came available we were seated at the end of the bar. There are no menus, but the placemats had photos of all the shuckers. We did get out picture made with “geezer” who has worked there 52 years.

Justin took our order and was one of our shuckers. Before we even ordered they poured hot sauce made of ketchup, Worcestershire sauce and horseradish into cups in front of each of us. They didn’t ask if you wanted it, you just got it because everything they had to eat went with “sauce.”

There were two sleeves of Saltines on the counter that were part of your meal. Justin asked what we wanted. Gray knew, so he ordered. As the only newbie in the foursome I asked what they had. “Oysters, shrimp, scallops and crab legs.”

Kara and I split an half a peck or oysters and a half a pound of shrimp. Those were the smallest portions you could get.

Justin and another shucker brought our buckets of steamed oysters in mere minutes and dumped them into the troughs in front of them. They shucked the oysters and dropped them into tiny bowls right in front of us. Our only utensil was a tiny cocktail fork and we stabbed each oyster and sauced it up before enjoying it.

It was a happy comunial experience between you and your shucker. Just one highlight of coming to Greenville and Nikki and Gray’s hospitality.

Laying Low

Last week was a busy one. I taught eight Mah Jongg classes, ending Thursday teaching three. So I took the weekend off from everything except church. January is a great month to do nothing on the weekends. It’s not like you are missing a party.

With so many people tied up with watching football playoffs and college basketball it was a great time to catch up on needlepoint. I have been working on this needle point version of a Nantucket basket purse. It will be a very cute bag with bamboo handles, but stitching it is very boring as I look only at Carmel and brown threads.

I want to finish stitching it in the hopes that it might be made into a purse before I go to Maine in August. It sounds crazy, but getting things finished is the longest part of any project.

Along with the stitching I have been binging shows on Acorn TV. Acorn has a lot of British shows that tend to be short series. Yesterday I watched an Scottish five parter called the Nest. Perfect thing to watch while needlepointing because I had to listen well to understand the accents. After a show and a half I was back in my old Glasgow call center I used to consult at. The director of the site, Anne McKinnon had such a strong accent that I did not really know what she was saying half the time.

It’s back to the salt mines this week, but only seven classes, instead of eight. I am looking forward to spending three days with a lovely group I have grown to enjoy. More news on their fabulous hospitality this week.

Hope everyone had a restful weekend. Spring and summer and the go, go, go season will be upon us soon.

The Year of the Rabbit

Tomorrow is the lunar new year. It is a big day in Asia. Celebrations with dumplings, fruit, sweets and money in red envelopes.

Yesterday Good Morning America had a segment about the year of the rabbit. And in it they showed the game of Mah Jongg as something fun to do to celebrate the lunar new year.

I laughed out loud at the thought of a non-Mah Jongg player thinking that they could get a game and learn it in time for the holiday tomorrow. I did like that they showed the game and the big Chinese tiles that don’t go on racks because they are so fat they can stand up on their own.

I really liked the look on Micheal Strahan’s face when he saw the tiles. No interest in them whatsoever. I think he was happy with the dumplings. They didn’t set the board up correctly because it looks like the table they had it on was too small, but 99% of people watching didn’t know that.

If you know how to play Mah Jongg, do it tomorrow in celebration of the year of the rabbit. It sounds like such a better year than the year of the rat or the snake. Next year is the year of the dragon and given that dragons are a part of Mah Jongg you should definitely learn to play before then.

One Night at Walkers ‘78/‘79

A few days ago my friend Arabella, who was my classmate in high school, contacted me because she found some photos she took at school. She thought I might want them. The eight small black and white snapshots arrived today in the mail along with a sweet note from Arabella.

Noting that they were not particularly good photos she did recognize that they were taken in my senior dorm room and that I was in my nightgown.

She was right. It was my room. I was in my standard Lanz nightgown which I still wear. I was needlepointing, which I still do. There were many friends gathered in my room all facing the same way. I think we must have been watching my tiny, illegal black and white Sony TV, which I don’t remember smuggling to school, but probably did. It looks like popcorn was served. I think the posters on the wall were the Characters from Wind in the Willows, but I must have left them there, because I don’t remember them well.

There was an Avon bear, which various friends seemed to hold. I think that most of these friends lived on my hall, Cynthia Reed, Lisa Dority, Mary Derbyshire, Stori Stockwell and Lisa Danforth. Sadly there were no photos of Arabella.

I wish Stori were still alive because she might have remembered what we were watching or why this particular group was gathered in my room. I wonder where Nancy Mack was, as she was my suite mate and the door between our two tiny rooms was almost always open.

If any of you friends in these photos have any memories of this event send a word. I have no recollection of that night, which I can tell it was by the black outside the window of my Cluett room.

I texted Carter a couple of these photos because in the small world that it is, Carter works with Cynthia Reed Klein’s daughter in Boston. Carter’s response to the photo is that I look exactly the same. What a nice daughter.

My First Concert

I came home tonight from teaching three Mah Jongg classes in Raleigh today. Nine hours of teaching is not something I can do everyday. I fell into bed just now and opened my email which had gone unchecked all day and discovered that David Crosby had died.

Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young had been the first concert I had gone to and the memory of that came flooding back.

In the summer of 1978 I had a summer job working in a printing factory in Stamford, Connecticut. It was a family owned business and most of the employees were all Italians who were related to each other, but not the family who owned the business. For most English was not their best language so it was lonely for me out on the shop floor running a folding machine.

The one person I could talk with was the owner’s daughter who worked in the front office along with her brother. She was my age and he was a year older. As the owner’s kids they got the cushy office jobs, but they still ate lunch out back with all the factory workers.

I can’t remember my friend’s name, but I do remember well that one summer night we went to New Haven with her brother and one of his friends to see Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. The only part of the concert I can recall all these years later is singing “Our House” at the top of our lungs.

I also remember going back to their house in Westport to spend the night and my having to get up early the next morning to get to my 7:00am shift and my friend and her brother not being at lunch because their Dad told them they did not have to come in after the concert. I scoffed at this because they did not come into work until 9 anyway, but they were the owner’s kids.

Rest in Peace David Crosby. You were always a favorite of mine.

Everyone Needs to Lose

When I was five or six I remember visiting my sweet Grandmother Mima. She was a world class game player. We would play grown up card games and she would beat me. If I started to sniffle she would swiftly raise her pointer finger in the air and sternly say, “no crying!”

I would pull it together and play another round with her, mostly getting beaten, but never quitting. It was the best life lesson. No participation trophy for me.

I was telling my Mah Jongg students today that they are going to lose 78% of the time. With four people playing you are only entitled to win 25% of the time, but in Mah Jongg sometimes no one wins so that ups your loss rate. There is also no second place in Mah Jongg so you either win or you lose, deal with it. And players do, most graciously congratulate the winner and move on to play another game and try and win that one.

There is a guy in New Mexico all over the news this week who was arrested for shooting up the homes of political opponents he lost to. It was reported that he lost badly, but he was a sore loser and turned to violence. This guy needed more practice losing in his life. One needs to learn that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose and you learn so much more from your losses than you do from your wins.

Children should have to play board games in school so they can build up a thick skin when they lose. Doing it on videos does not have the same effect. You need to look your opponent in the eye and shake their hand, regardless of the outcome. The world would be a much more civil place if we all played games together.

Tell Me Your Name

I give all my Mah Jongg students my cell number so they can text me questions. I also give people doing work at my house my cell phone so they can call me. For most of those two groups I don’t always have their cell phone in my contacts list so when they text me just a phone number comes up rather than a name.

Mah Jongg students often ask a question and make some niceties. I answer their question and give a general nicety back. I would love to actually know who is texting because I might have something specific to say, if only I knew who they were. I hate to text, “Who is this?” It has no tone and could sound rude. I don’t really have the time to type out, “I’m sorry, just a phone number came up. Could you please tell me your name and how I know you?”

Most of the time people have no idea I don’t know who they are. I give them an answer and they are happy. It just starts to get embarrassing when they carry on multiple text conversations with me and I still have no idea who they are. By then it is much too late to ask, “Hey, who are you?”

I can’t be alone in having this happen. I have taken to always introducing myself via text if I am texting anyone I don’t know well. I would like to spread the habit to others.

It is kind of like the habit of telling people in a group your name just in case they don’t know it. Of course you don’t introduce yourself to people you know well, but whenever you are with people who aren’t close friends or colleagues.

It amazes me how many people don’t know that if I tell you my name it might be because I don’t know yours. I am prompting you to tell me your name. The worst is when I say to someone. “Hi, I’m Dana. Nice to see you.” Nice to see does not mean I know you or I don’t know you. But if the person says, “Hi Dana. Nice to see you too.” I then am forced to follow up with, “Can you remind me of your name?”

I wish I could remember everyone’s name I ever met, but as I age it is just not possible. I am married to someone who does not remember anyone’s name so I have to remember for him too.

Let’s try and spread the word that we introduce ourselves if there is the slightest possibility that just one person does not know your name. And when you text you start with your name.

Take Your Mother to Work Day

It’s a big week of Mah Jongg classes. I apologize now if I have nothing else to write about since I am teaching eight classes in four days.

Today was a one day Advanced Beginner class in a Durham. That makes this the lightest day in terms of travel and number of classes. My mother has started plying Mah Jongg at Croasdaile without having taken a full formal beginner class from me.

This summer she started learning at our family reunion. So many people assume they can just pick the game up on their own and it is only after playing a while that they are humbled and realize they could do with some classes.

I learned Mah Jongg by sitting beside someone who knew slightly more than me. It was the worst possible way to learn. There are too many exceptions.

After playing with some real Mah Jongg players my mother asked me if she could come to some of my lessons. I tried to get her to come last week, but she was busy, so she came to just one of the advanced beginner classes. She did well, but I know she, like everyone could benefit from a few classes.

Once you learn the rules of the game you really need to do exercises to train your brain how to pick which hand to play. Training people how to think is by far the most fun thing to teach. It was fun to see how well my mother did. Even at almost 85 she is naturally a great game player.

Silver and Gold Friends

When I was a Girl Scout, or maybe a Brownie I learned the song, “Make New friends.” It wasn’t much of a song, so we sang it in the round, repeating the same line three times.

“Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.” It didn’t explicitly say that the new friends are only silver and the old ones become gold, but that was the way I took it at the time.

If I try and think what I learned in scouts this would be the one standout, that and how to cook bacon for a crowd over a campfire. I was probably seven or eight when I learned the song and it has been a guide star for me my whole life. Once in a while I will be driving alone in the car and I will be humming it without realizing it.

The thing I love about it is it encourages you to always be making new friends while not ignoring your old friends. It also lets you know that some friends are more important to you than other and that is OK too.

Just because someone is a new friend of mine does not prohibit them from becoming a gold friend fast. Conversely, just because I have known you forever you may still be a silver friend. And the song gave me permission for it to be fine like that.

Experts on longevity often site the existence of friends as being key to living a long and happy life. So be like a Girl Scout and always be making new friends. You have no idea who is going to be gold to you. Not everyone will be gold and silver friends have their place too. The good news is are all friends, something you just can’t have too many of.

My Toaster Oven History

I have never owned a toaster. Did not get one as a wedding present. Never wanted a toaster. I am a toaster oven girl. I got my first one when I was a senior in boarding school. It was a General Electric.

We were not allowed to have appliances other than coils to put into a mug to heat up water. Those coils could easily start a fire if you laid it on our very flammable carpet, so I figured with caution I could not start a fire with a toaster oven.

The item I made most often in that toaster oven was Boursin stuffed mushrooms. No need to make toast, we could get that in the dining room, but stuffed mushrooms were a crave-worthy luxury.

That original toaster oven had a door that went up. It was small. I think you could toast two pieces of bread at the same time, so it was no better than a two slot toaster if that is all you used it for. The key was it was also an oven. It was more or less an adult version of an easy bake oven.

That toaster oven went far with me. To college, where I also made stuffed mushrooms, to my first apartment in DC. Somewhere between that DuPont Circle apartment and my house on Irving St. I got a new GE model. Slightly bigger with a door that opened down which made it easier to see what you were putting in or taking out.

After Russ and I got married I got a Black and Decker Model. I am not sure if we were living in NJ or had made the move to NC, but this model lasted a long time. At some point I think Russ was at a loss for something to give me and upgraded that perfectly good Black and Decker to a Cuisinart.

We had this one probably more than ten years now. The electronic push buttons were starting to fail and as is the case with all my toaster ovens I was unable to clean it to its original gleam.

I considered asking for a new one for Christmas, but decided that would have given Russ an easy way out. So this week when I was at Costco buying Shay’s chicken I sashayed by the small appliance aisle and this toaster oven/air fryer fell in my cart.

We have a basket type air fryer which is not convenient and it does not live in my kitchen so getting it out is an ordeal. But I do like air fying some things. Tonight I made sweet potato fries and chicken thighs á la chicken tenders. I was going to air fry the green beans, but I just threw them in a fry pan and dry roasted them. Dinner was fast with the new toaster oven.

As far as I am concerned the toaster oven is a must have kitchen requirement.

My Toaster Oven History

I have never owned a toaster. Did not get one as a wedding present. Never wanted a toaster. I am a toaster oven girl. I got my first one when I was a senior in boarding school. It was a General Electric.

We were not allowed to have appliances other than coils to put into a mug to heat up water. Those coils could easily start a fire if you laid it on our very flammable carpet, so I figured with caution I could not start a fire with a toaster oven.

The item I made most often in that toaster oven was Boursin stuffed mushrooms. No need to make toast, we could get that in the dining room, but stuffed mushrooms were a crave-worthy luxury.

That original toaster oven had a door that went up. It was small. I think you could toast two pieces of bread at the same time, so it was no better than a two slot toaster if that is all you used it for. The key was it was also an oven. It was more or less an adult version of an easy bake oven.

That toaster oven went far with me. To college, where I also made stuffed mushrooms, to my first apartment in DC. Somewhere between that DuPont Circle apartment and my house on Irving St. I got a new GE model. Slightly bigger with a door that opened down which made it easier to see what you were putting in or taking out.

After Russ and I got married I got a Black and Decker Model. I am not sure if we were living in NJ or had made the move to NC, but this model lasted a long time. At some point I think Russ was at a loss for something to give me and upgraded that perfectly good Black and Decker to a Cuisinart.

We had this one probably more than ten years now. The electronic push buttons were starting to fail and as is the case with all my toaster ovens I was unable to clean it to its original gleam.

I considered asking for a new one for Christmas, but decided that would have given Russ an easy way out. So this week when I was at Costco buying Shay’s chicken I sashayed by the small appliance aisle and this toaster oven/air fryer fell in my cart.

We have a basket type air fryer which is not convenient and it does not live in my kitchen so getting it out is an ordeal. But I do like air fying some things. Tonight I made sweet potato fries and chicken thighs á la chicken tenders. I was going to air fry the green beans, but I just threw them in a fry pan and dry roasted them. Dinner was fast with the new toaster oven.

As far as I am concerned the toaster oven is a must have kitchen requirement.

We Need A Math Wordle

Back when I first got out of college I noticed that I was starting to lose my ability to do basic math in my head. It’s not that I didn’t know how, but I just wasn’t doing it everyday so I was slowing down on calculations. To combat the loss I started balancing my checkbook in my head. (Remember when we used to write down what checks we wrote and subtract those amounts from our balance.) I also did as many math problems as I came across each day without a calculator, like figuring out what my commission on a sale might be.

Doing all this math regularly helped. I still try and do these things and consequently I got to be very fast at brain math. I am not doing calculus, but what used to be called long division is a big brain booster.

I do Wordle everyday, sharing the results with my book group. They are a heavy literary crowd and I am there for comic relief. I find that Wordle is helpful in brain training, but being able to figure out a missing letter is not really a transferable skill.

I wish someone would come up with a daily math puzzle. Nothing too hard, but something useful as a tool to keep up our basic math skills and keep our brain’s agile.

I no longer have a checkbook and I certainly don’t balance anything. I guess most of us are taking the bank’s word. The best math I do in my head now is calculating what I think my retirement account has in it after looking at how the market did each day. That is not a math problem, but a wishing game.

I guess the old adage, “use it or lose it,” applies here. If only it was as easy to lose weight as it is to lose the ability to multiply 13 times 24 in your head.

Half Price AllBirds

Last week when I was in Rocky Mount one of my students noticed I wore AllBirds to class each day. I am of the age that I only wear comfortable shoes. I really don’t care how fashionable they are as long as I can stand and walk all day.

This new friend told me about a company that was in Rocky Mount that sold new AllBirds online through their eBay store. They are called Shoes and Fashions. She had bought three pairs of AllBirds half price and said they were new in the boxes.

I went online. Sure enough they had hundreds of thousands of shoes half price. I don’t know if they are buying the returned ones, but I went ahead and ordered three pairs. I had to search for my size. Each shoe is individually offered so it’s not like looking at a website where you find a shoe you like then pick your size.

I was able to find many, I think a dozen shoes I wanted. I put them all in my cart then picked my top three favorites and ordered those. They came fast as could be, saying they actually were coming from Durham. Each pair was in the standard AllBird box and they all were brand new with the cardboard foot inserts in them. I have worn two pairs so far and they are just like the AllBirds I paid full price for at the store.

I did read that AllBirds are falling out of favor with finance Bro’s. All the better for me. I am just happy to have comfortable shoes at a good price.

Highlight of My Working Life

Tonight while I was finishing up teaching a lovely group of young women in Raliegh how to play Mah Jongg we got to talking about all the careers I have had. They asked me if I like teaching Mah Jongg best. “It is right close to the top,” I told them. I followed up with the story about the true highlight of my career that I am certain will never be surpassed.

In 1995/96 I got to run a program for BT, advertising Friends and Family in the UK. We created an ad campaign called the Friends and Family reunions. Once a month for a year we randomly picked one person who won an all expenses paid trip to a fabulous location and they got to take 29 of their friends and family with them.

This story I told the women who were sitting at the table tonight was of the family who won the trip to South Africa. They were a lovely couple from Canterbury who had four children, 14, twins 8 and a new baby. This was the biggest thing to ever happen for this family. The father was a car mechanic and they lived in a tiny house, which I visited the day after calling them to tell them they had won. They had never been on a vacation in their whole marriage so this was a big deal.

When the mother was packing for the trip she called me at my London office to ask me if they needed to bring towels. I was taking them to the Palace Hotel in Sun City and I promised her we would have plenty of towels.

I had one suite for the parents and the baby with an adjoining suite for the twins and the older sister. In the kids suite I had the mini-bar stocked only with kid friendly items.

After the long overnight flight from London I went to their suites to see how they were. One of the twins Nigel opened the door to his room. I asked him what he thought? He looked a little worried and said to me, “Dana, someone left their soda in our room.”

Having never been to a hotel or anywhere, I knew he had no idea what a minibar was. I told him, “Nigel, that soda and all the snacks and juice are for you and your sisters. You can have whatever your mother says you can have. Don’t worry about saving it because they will restock it everyday. It’s free for you.”

Without missing a beat Nigel then said to me, “Dana, would you like a soda?”

It was all I could do not to burst into tears right then. This sweet boy, who lived an incredibly modest life thought of me before himself. I thanked him so much and declined his offer, but told him I was looking forward to spending the week with him showing him all the exciting things we has going to see in South Africa.

That one encounter that happened so many years go still stands as the very best moment of my working life.

As I told this story tonight the three women I was telling it to all teared up. They asked me if I knew where Nigel was and I said, no. We all agreed he probably is still an incredible person.

Garden Club Bright Spot

What a difference a day makes. The relative with the emergency hip replacement had the surgery this morning and is resting in the hospital. I also have. Friend who had a hip replacement today and her surgery was successful according to her husband. Yeah for two new hips.

This morning I got my old car in Raleigh towed to the dealership in Durham to get fixed. I picked up my regular car and have it safely at home. No other cars broke today.

The highlight of the day was a fabulous Garden Club meeting at Anna Whalen’s house. Morgan Moylan of West Queen Studio gave the best presentation on tips and tricks and what is hot is the floral world.

My favorite trick she showed us was the spinning of roses to get them to open up. Morgan’s energy and excitement around flowers is infectious. It was a most entertaining presentation. Now I wish I had an event coming up so I had an excuse to purchase a lot of flowers and play with them.

Thanks to Anna for getting Morgan to us. It had been too long since I had seen Morgan and it was fun to catch up.

I am thankful for Garden club to make me slow down and visit with friends and think about beautiful things, not broken bones or broken cars.

How Many Things Can Go Wrong?

Some days are just worst than others. The day started out fine. I taught Mah Jongg in Durham. During the class I got a message that a very close relative had a bad injury which put him in the hospital and is going to have a big surgery tomorrow. So prayers are needed for that.

After the first class I drive to Raleigh in our old Land Cruiser because my car was in the shop. I was teaching mah Jongg to a very cute group of young women.

Class ended at nine and they helped pack up my car and the car wouldn’t start. The five women who were still left jumped into action and tried to jump my car, to no avail.

I called AAA and after waiting an hour they finally came and a new battery didn’t work so we determined it was the starter. A tow truck was needed, but couldn’t arrive until 1:00 pm.

I said forget that, I would get a tow truck tomorrow. So my Mah Jongg girls unloaded my car. I called an Uber and while Ahmed is driving me home on I 40 I am writing the blog on my phone.

I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Is It Really Just the Second Week of 2023?

I feel like I have lived more than one week in 2023 already. So far in the first week I went to church twice and one memorial service. I drove 720 miles. I taught seven different Mah Jongg Classes over four different days. I made 100 copies of materials for classes. I packed and mailed five different packages. I scheduled fifteen Mah Jongg classes as far out as the end of September.

I had lunch with a friend I have been friends with for 38 years, reconnected with two people I had not seen in 30 years, and went to lunch with another 25 year long friend. I made 25 new friends and met 16 more people who I hope will become friends.

I started one puzzle. Needlepointed at least 20 square inches. I washed many dishes by hand as the dishwasher is still broken. I dropped one car off to be serviced and when I was not doing anything else I watched the most entertaining week of C-span, staying up until after midnight Friday night witnessing the mafia like negotiations in congress.

What I didn’t do in the first week of the year: any laundry, grocery shopping or cooking.

I figure I better do some of the regular life stuff every week or we are going to run out of food to cook, things to eat and clothes to wear. Maybe tomorrow I can fit in some grocery shopping before my two Mah Jongg classes. I would much rather be making new friends and seeing old ones.

Farewell to Tom Belcher

Today was a a sad one. One of my old friends from my Washington days, Tom Belcher passed away right after Thanksgiving. He was just a few months older than me. He was at my wedding. Today was his memorial service in his hometown of Oxford, NC.

My oldest DC friend, David MacKay called me when he learned of Tom’s sudden passing after trouble with a hip replacement. Tom lived in Miami and we hadn’t see each other much in person, but we had kept in touch. David and I made plans to meet for Tom’s service.

I came up to Oxford early and David and I met for lunch at the Strong Arm Cafe and Bakery. It is a fairly new place that is having great success in Oxford. David and I rehashed all our old Tom stories. After a while two more old DC friends, and best friends to Tom, Kevin and Donald came in and joined us. I had not seen them in years.

When I think about Tom I always think about Kevin being with him as they were inseparable friends. Both of them were very broken up about Tom’s passing. We walked down the street to the Oxford Baptist Church and joined the family and gathered friends for the service. It was comforting to hear from people who loved Tom.

Parents should not have to bury their child. This is the second friend in the space of two months that I have lost. This is streak I would like to break.

The only silver lining is I had to chance to see people I have not seen in decades as well as spend some quality time with David, who I do see more regularly, but never enough.

Hold your friends close. There is not enough time left to make a life long friend. As wonderful as new friends are, they do not know your history, your inside jokes and all your secrets.

I pray for Tom’s family and friends who are missing him now. He was a loving son, brother, partner and friend.

I Need A Good Handy Man

Russ and I found some rot in some wood work in the sunroom. Nothing terrible, but something that needs to be fixed soon. When we built the addition on our house we had the best builder, Joe. He told us that once he worked for us he would always come work for us. We thought we were set for life. Then Joe retired. He wasn’t much older than me.

Now I need a handy man with good carpentry skills. If you know someone you have had work on your house I would love their name and number. I need a new Joe in our lives who I can call with the list of things that need to be fixed.

Russ is excellent at fixing many things, but he does not have the time. If only my father-in-law traveled. This wood working issue could be fixed in an instant.

We are still waiting for the dishwasher repair man from the day before Christmas. We know what the problem is, but we can’t fix it. It’s incredibly frustrating to wait around for someone to come, but it is worse not to know who to call in the first place.

A New Sweet Town of Mah Jongg Players

Years ago one of my Beach Mah Jongg students came up to me after class and said, “Would you ever consider coming to Rocky Mount to teach Mah Jongg?” She was not the first person from a small town to ask me like that.

I love going to small towns to teach. There are nice people all over North Carolina, but the ones in small towns are so grateful when you come to them. I understand this. Big cities have more available. I could spend everyday and night teaching in Raleigh because there are just more people there. They are wonderful people and I adore them. But people in small towns are just so appreciative.

This week I was at Benvenue Country club. It is a Donald Ross course built in 1922 so it feels very much like Hope Valley. The manager could not have been nicer and all the members who came to class were as fun and friendly as they could be. They have already booked their next round of lessons.

As I was packing up today, my friend Catherine, who is the one who asked me to come teach there and organized the whole week, put a gift in my car. When I got home I opened this beautiful candle and a sweet note. It was over the top for her to give me a gift, she got me the gig!

Thanks to Catherine and her friend Ginger who hosted me all three days, taking care of me and helping out. I am happy to come to Rocky Mount anytime. I am adding it to the list a small North Carolina towns that I think are full of the nicest people.

House Mess or is it a Plan?

For years many congressional Republicans have been obstructionists when it comes to actual legislation. They didn’t see their jobs as trying to make legislation that makes all of America better. Instead they just wanted to stop Democrats from doing that.

At last the house Republicans have finally figured out how to actually never have to do anything, but sit on their butts and argue by never electing a speaker. They literally can’t do anything until they elect a speaker and as long as they never do that they can spend the next two years doing nothing!

Of course this distraction is unacceptable to normal citizens. We would never be able to go to our work places and not do our jobs and just fight.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different out come. Kevin made the fatal flaw of moving in to the speaker’s office before he won the vote. That was setting himself up to fail.

All these crazy republicans who can’t come to an agreement are starting to make the Santos, the big liar just elected, look normal.

I wonder how long this shit show is going to go on, or is this rally what Republicans want?

Commuting is Easier

Today I started a three day class in Rocky Mount. For those of you unfamiliar with North Carolina geography, Rocky Mount is about an 80 minute drive east from Durham. Normally when I am teaching both a morning and afternoon class in a location out of town on consecutive days I stay overnight there.

I was torn about spending two nights away from home this week when I could commute. Yes, it does mean I spend three hours in the car, but it also means I am not staying in a motel meant for people driving up or down I-95.

As the day drew closer I judged that the weather was not going to be snowy so I decided to just make the drive and not spend the night. I left home at 7:15 and got home before 7:15. It won’t be as long tomorrow because I arrived extra early for class this morning because I got the start time wrong.

As far as commuting almost three hours in a day I thought about my Dad when we lived in Wilton. He commuted closer to four hours everyday and worked much longer hours than I do. His commute involved driving from our house to the Norton heights train station at six in the morning, which took about 25 minutes. Then getting on the New Haven line to NYC, a hour train. Arriving at grand central station he would carry his giant paper filled brief case on the 25 minute walk to his office at 9 West 57th street, no matter the weather. He left the house at six and usually got home around 8:30.

I got in my car and drove to the front door of the Benvenue Country club. Seems not to be too bad.

I am lucky that Russ ran out and picked up dinner. I guess it’s no different for him if I am away or coming home too late to cook.

The thing about commuting that is bd is the drudgery of doing it everyday. Three days is doable.

Resolutions, No Thanks

I stopped making resolutions years ago. When I did make them they were always too aspirational. As a younger person I thought if I made a resolution it would magically come true. Eventually I grew up and realized I was just setting myself up to fail. Failing never felt good and so I was despondent over not achieving my resolution and about how quickly I let it go.

Now I try and have an intention basically everyday. It should be nothing too big. Today It was to not put off cleaning the tile in my bathroom. Rather than just being a to-do item the intention was to not put it off. I felt great satisfaction in getting done something I had been thinking about doing for months, but just never got around to.

As I thought about it, setting an intention that was totally doable made me very happy. Why should I make a very long list and when I don’t get everything done I feel let down.

Now I am going to set intentions I am certain I can keep. I am going to do dry January. Since I gave up drinking 38 years go I think it is a good bet I will succeed. Maybe I will also intend to start the day with a healthy breakfast. I can’t think of the last time I missed breakfast so this is another sure fire win.

I am not setting a step goal this year since last year I did that and got terrible bursitis in my knee which practically crippled me for four months. I am healed now and can walk no problem so my intention is to walk just enough to not get bursitis. How much is that? Who knows.

Tomorrow’s intention is to have all the people in two Mah Jongg classes in Rocky Mount want to come back to class a second day. No pressure. I rarely lose a student, but I don’t want to start tomorrow. Getting people to love Mah Jongg is so much more fun than cleaning tile.

Earthly Mah Jongg Hand – Good Omen

It should come to no one’s surprise that I play Mah Jongg online. I consider it continuing education. One of my mantra’s in teaching is I encourage players not to stop the Charleston. For those of you who don’t play Mah Jongg, stop reading now because you won’t care abut this.

The Charleston is the the beginning of the game where players trade tiles with each other without knowing what you are being given until you see them. You trade three tiles at a time. It is mandatory to do this three times, which is called one round of Charleston. The second round is optional, meaning any one player can stop the whole thing. Once it is stopped all Charleston trading stops. I tell my students not to stop the Charleston due of indecision, which is the number one reason people stop.

The mistake is you are foregoing getting nine new tiles, three at a time and that can really improve you hand.

Today I played my first hand of Mah Jongg online. As the Charleston was going on I honed in on a closed hand in the odds. We finished one round of Charleston and I only had two tiles to trade. This would be the only reason to stop the Charleston. Despite having 11 tiles for my hand I went ahead with the Charleston and traded away one of my flowers that I needed, but knew with 8 of them in the game I could still get another.

Amazingly what I was passed in my last across was everything I needed, including a flower. I was able to do blind pass and no Courtesy in my last passes. As I was East I had fourteen tiles that made a hand. I was so excited I took a screen shot of it. You can see by the number of tiles still in the wall at 99 it was the very first play.

I declared Mah Jongg! This is called an Earthly hand, meaning I made it by passing tiles in the Charleston. In my 30 years of playing it has never happened to me. Just for your edification there is something called a heavenly hand, which means that East was dealt a Mah Jongg hand, no passing. I have never seen that happen.

You can see in the second screen shot that there are still 99 tiles left in the wall. I never discarded or picked! I hope this is a good omen for a very Lucky year!

The Year In Review, Just the Good Stuff

One of the best things about writing a blog is I have a record of almost everything I did, thought or wanted to do. As the year ends I want to review the positive aspects of the year. Even the good things related to bad situations. This is not a complicate list, just a few highlights that come to mind when I look back at 2022.

January found me in Kinston, NC for the first of three weeks I would visit this year. I was invited to teach Mah Jongg to a group of the nicest people, who have become friends. I cherish all my students, but the Kinston crowd went out of the way to make me feel welcome. Jane and Warren Brothers now let me stay with them when I come to town and they along with Kristi Blizzard throw dinner parties when I am there. What a joy it has been for me to get to know them.

At the end of April Russ and I went to Chicago and celebrated our 30th anniversary a few day early. We needed to do it then because in May we had to go to Boston to celebrate Carter’s college graduation. She had successfully finished in December and started her new job at Catalent in January, but go to walk in the May ceremony at Fenway. A fun five days in Boston with the bonus of seeing my friends Suzanne and Sally.

In June Russ and. After and I met up in NYC for a second birthday celebration. The highlight being that Carter took me to Funny Girl. It marked the first time she paid for tickets to anything. I love a working daughter.

In July it was back to Boston to go the Elton John with Carter. My friend Stori came into the city to spend the day with me and we had a great time needlepoint shopping, spending time in the commons and going to lunch. I had no idea it would be the last time I would see her and I am so thankful that I did.

At the end of July we had a fabulous family reunion at Pawley’s Island where we scattered my father’s ashes of the Ed Carter foot Bridge in South Litchfield. Thanks to my great Cousin Mary for planning and organizing a wonderful week.

I had three fun weeks at the beach teaching Mah Jongg, thanks to my original agent Reba who let me stay with her and my friend Kate who offered up her guest room when I need it. I love my beach students who then invite me to their home towns to teach. Mah Jongg took me everywhere this year.

In the middle of August Shay and I drove up the east coast on our way to Maine. The highlight of that trip was staying with Suzanne at her house in New Hampshire and starting off my lobster month with her.

August and September were all about Maine. The house we rented for a month was perfect for us, not that staying at Warren’s is not wonderful too, but guests can only stay so long. We had many guests, Nancy, Kar, Suzanne, Oliver, Carter and Estelle. We saw friends, Warren, Julie, Jamie and Wendie. We ate lots of Lobster and enjoyed many sunrises and sunsets over Penobscot Bay.

The fall had my mother moving to Durham to Croasdaile village, even if part time. My friend Carol Walker hosted a welcome luncheon for her in October.

Sadly October also saw the passing of my friend Stori in a freak horseback riding accident. The only good that came from that was my reconnection with her sister Lilea and Stori’s family. I am ever thankful for Nancy Mack Von Euler who came with me to the memorial service where I spoke. And to Henrietta Cheng Mei for taking back to Boston. Boarding school friends are friends for life. The bright spot of that trip is I got to meet Carter’s girl friend Claire and have brunch with them.

November had us visiting Jan and Rex in the Mountains where we had our first snow of the year and excellent puzzle time.

Thanksgiving was the first time Carter had been home in nine months. It was a bright spot to also have her help get the Christmas decorations out.

This December saw the return of all my annual Christmas parties and finally a happy family Christmas.

I am thankful for my sweet family, dear friends, darling dog Shay and look forward to a happy and healthy New Year for you all.

Best Storage Investment

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Christmas decorating. It started in high school where I was on official “Christmas cadet.” I wore Christmas lights to Math class and surprisingly Mrs. Elmore would let me plug in during class.

In college I would get a real Christmas tree. There was a store a few doors down from our house on Pomfret St. where I would buy Swedish ornaments that I still have to this day.

I like to collect ornaments from every place I go. I do not subscribe to “designer” Christmas trees where all the ornaments have a color theme. I see ornaments as the scrap book of my life.

Years ago, probably when we moved into this house, I started purchasing the big plastic hinged top boxes to store my decorations in. Before that I had Christmas themed cardboard boxes, but they were starting to fall apart.

The beauty of the hinged top boxes is they do a superior job of protection and can be safely stacked on top of each other. This is important since I am not the one who puts them away in the attic. It is enough that Russ does this big job. It would be too much if I wanted him to treat them with kid gloves.

A few years ago I labeled all the boxes so when Russ removes them from the attic he can take them right to the room where they will be unpacked or repacked. Today I finished filling all the boxes. They are currently scattered about the house since it was a work day for Russ. I figure tomorrow we will put them in the attic. I went around counting the boxes and found it was over 60. Sadly wreaths don’t fit in those boxes so I still have makeshift containers for them.

I know it will be just under 11 months before I set eye upon them again, but the one thing I know is come next Christmas I will know exactly what is in each well protected box. What a good investment they were.

Waiting Out This Year

As I was packing up ornaments and wiping down tables I got a message from my dear friend Kar. Her 88 year old mother-in-law had fallen and bumped her head right before Christmas. Back and forth to and from the hospital in the Christmas storm they thought she was Ok, until she wasn’t. Kar’s husband made the dash north to be with her and got there before she passed away.

My friend Tom, who was my age, passed away earlier this month after complications from a hip replacement. His memorial service is weekend after this one. I just made “somebody died?” Fried chicken from my friend Michelle after she and her family returned from her father’s funeral after a sudden death. All three of these passings were very unexpected.

As a member of the funeral committee at church, I have made more cookie and sandwiches and served more punch this year than ever. I am ready for 2022 to be over.

For the last two days of the year I am going to lay low at home. Seems like if I give 2022 any more chances it might take it.

Feels like the world is due for a good year. How about some wars ending, and no political campaigns and a reduction in Covid. I don’t feel like it is asking too much. Well maybe a better economic situation and come calming of climate change. Mostly good health for those around me and their loved ones.

Please stay safe out there. We just don’t know how long we have together. I can’t make any more chicken in 2022.