It’s All About the Lighting

This morning at garden club my friend Lynn was trying to get a photo of the hostesses. She had them lined up in front of the beautifully set dining room table with a pair of fabulous flower arrangements made by one of the hostesses. Being the busy body that I am I was looking over her shoulder as she was about to take the picture. The image I saw was as she was about to push the button was just outlines of three bodies since they were posed with a wall of glass doors behind them. I jumped in and turned the group so that the light from the windows was illuminating their faces and the dark of the room was behind them.

Now the ubiquity of cameras on every device we have has made taking pictures a regular occurrence and not the special thing it used to be when we had to pay for film and developing. The problem is that all the same rules for good photos exists with digital as it did with film, but very few people study the finer points of photography now that it is practically free.

Many people assume that photos can be fixed with the likes of Photoshop, which is true to only a point and by someone who is well trained. Great photographers all would prefer to get a well-lit shot from the start.

My interest in getting a good photo is a diet issue. The worst thing about being lit from behind is that the dark shadows on people’s faces renders them unidentifiable except by body shape. I hardly know a woman over forty who would like people to study the outline of her body, no matter how tight it is. When looking at a beautiful picture of someone’s face you tend to overlook imperfections, which we all have, even if it is just that you are not standing up as straight as possible. But looking at a dark outline it is hard to distinguish if that thing sticking out of the middle is a large stomach or just an elbow of a bent arm.

Do yourself, your friends and family a great service and never place them directly in front of a bright light source to be shot straight on. It is wonderful to take someone’s picture in front of a window if you have them stand with their shoulder on the window and you have the light coming across their face, but even that is a little advanced for most I-phone photo takers. The best rule of thumb is always having the photographers back to the light source shooting directly at the subject. A smiling beautifully lit face will always make the person in the picture look better and isn’t that what you want.

Here are two photos I grabbed from a 2001 scrap book to show you examples.  Who knows who those people in the pool are? (I do)  and here is one of Carter taken with the light from the side of the window.

Learning to be a Follower

Growing up as the oldest girl of three I had a natural bossy tendency. I was never good at following an other’s lead and always wanted to be out in front. If I were traveling with a group of cars I needed to be first. As I aged I realized this was not always the most attractive trait, but one I had to fight to overcome.

Today was one of those days that make me happy we live in North Carolina. While the west coast is consumed in rain and the North East is hit with yet another snowstorm, it was seventy degrees and sunny here. I woke up early for a Sunday so I attended early church. Although I really missed the choir I loved having my whole day ahead of my by nine thirty.

Russ and I decided to take Shay on a big hike at the Eno State Park. Even though we arrived before eleven the parking lot was almost full with other lovers of North Carolina winter. With Shay on her pink leash held by Russ we set off to hike up the trail that runs besides the river.

The trail is fairly narrow and a bit muddy from run off from the hills. Shay could be mistaken for a mountain goat in a brown curly coat. She can jump over fallen trees and climb steep trails with no effort. As the three of us negotiated our way up and down the hills of the park one thing became apparent, Shay had to be out in front.

Every once in a while I would try and take the lead where the path got skinny, but I could feel Shay’s breath on my ankles and she pulled against the leash to try and pass me. As soon as I stopped to let her go by me she would relax as long as we let her tell us where to go.

With the fall leaves on the ground it was not always apparent exactly where the trail was, but somehow without ever looking up to see the trail makers on trees Shay was able to keep us right on the path we should be on to stay out of danger never mistakenly ending up on top of a boulder with no place to go.

Shay was clearly a better trail leader than I ever would have been, not that I had a choice. She must have inherited her desire to be a leader from me. But being a follower was highly pleasurable. I was able to enjoy the scenery and the sunlight streaming through the naked winter tree branches.

I guess that it was easy to be a follower when I so thoroughly trusted my leader. I guess that I need to work next of being more trusting. I hope I have a lot of years left because I still have a lot to learn.

A La Carte to the Max

Tonight we went out to dinner to a place where everything was a la carte. For me as a person who wants to control what tempts me it was perfect. Don’t want to eat starch, no problem none is put on the plate unless you order it. Even bread and butter were not automatic. It was easy to withstand the breadbasket when it was advertised as gluten free at $6.

The only problem with this way of selling food is that the portions of what you do order are large. Russ and I got the turf and surf special to split and we still brought half the steak home. I ordered the Brussels sprouts and it really was big enough for three, although I ate most of them myself.

I can see the next wave of food service going even further by being an order by the bite plan. I think I would like six bites of steak, nine of salad and seven of green beans. The real winner in a by the bite plan is that I then might order one bite of rice and one bite of dessert if I was guaranteed to only get that much.

Despite my leaving half a steak uneaten tonight I am normally I’m not good at leaving food on my plate, even if I am full. If you put the food on my plate, I usually am going to eat it. Given the opportunity to order exactly the amount I should have I am much more likely to eat it all and be perfectly happy, even if it was only half as much food as I could have eaten.

Hooray for charging customers for bread. We all know bread and butter are not free, but once it has been put down on a table the leftovers must be thrown away even if the basket was not touched. That’s the food service law of the land, until Thom Tillis gets his hands on it. I like having the option to decide if I want you to tempt me with bread or not.

So go on and a la Carte everything, except for napkins and utensils. I don’t want to get to the point that people are forgoing wiping their hands because it costs fifty cents. This isn’t China after all.

Playing the Villain

In my fourth, fifth and sixth years we lived in a tiny house on Crystal Street in New Canaan. Our house had a back yard that was surrounded with a chain link fence with holes just the right size for me to fit my red Ked tenny pumps into to climb. The fence came with the house and my parents had no need to fence us kids in the yard. We basically ran free in our neighborhood either on bikes or on foot.

My back yard neighbors were the Quinns who had a much larger and grander house than ours with a big corner lot. How I remember their name today when I can’t remember what I went to the Harris Teeter to buy an hour ago is amazing to me. The Quinns had sons, two or three, those details are fuzzy. The two I am most sure they had probably flanked me in ages so we tended to play together.

I often was sticking my toes in the chain link fence to climb over to their yard since they had an exciting and somewhat dangerous zip line that ran from a tree house to a porch, where I only had a standard metal swing set in my yard. Our favorite neighborhood game to play was Batman. The show with the “POW,” and “
“WHAP” graphics was big in the mid sixties.

The older Quinn boys of course assumed the roles of Batman and Robin, since it was their tree house we used as a bat cave. One boy who lived on their street whose name I cannot remember was Alfred the butler. I think he was always bringing snacks from home and that’s how he became the manservant. Needing a bad guy to fight against I was almost always assigned the role of Cat woman. I did not really mind because it required me to slide down the zip line standing on the wooden bar and only holding on with one hand.

When other boys would come along we would have a Joker or a Penguin and if a new girl happened to join in she would get to be Batgirl. I can remember wondering if I could be Batgirl when we had other villains, but I was never allowed to veer from my role as nemesis to Bat Man.

In reality I was a good girl, but it was fun to play the naughty one. I think that was my earliest memory of acting against type. Eventually “playing” the villain was a skill I developed. As an adult whenever there are ever negotiations to be done I always play the bad cop. If someone has to be the heavy I was happy to take on that role and not just because I was heavy. The real trick is not to become a villain just because you play one.

The world is not black and white like in 1960’s TV shows, even the ones in living color. Sometimes you are the bad guy and sometimes you are the good guy. That is just the way non-scripted life works out. I’m glad that now I really get a choice between Cat woman and Batgirl, or even commissioner Gordon, nowadays. There is nothing worse than being pigeon holed as a one-dimensional character.

Is Vegan the Answer?

Proof that Beyoncé is a brilliant marketing machine came out today with the announcement of the Beyoncé Vegan meal delivery service. For just over $600 you can get home delivery of a 21-day vegan meal plan. The unspoken message is “If you want a body like Beyoncé’s go vegan.” Bill Clinton the once chubby president is now also a vegan and a mere shadow of himself.

If I were only interested in being thin I would consider becoming a vegan, but since I am more interested in being happy I must have a life that includes cheese. Also the fact that I am an off the scale extrovert and enjoy the company of other live humans I need to keep my consumption of beans in check or risk not having another friend.

Using beautiful celebrities to sell things is not new, but I doubt that anyone thinks they are going to look like Cindy Crawford or Sofia Vergara if they buy their furniture at Rooms To Go. I am sure there are plenty of bootlicious wanting thick waisted women who will fall for the idea that they can look like Beyoncé if they eat like her. The part of the equation that is missing is her personal trainer, well equipped gym, personal assistant to do all her errands, nanny to care for her child, and well documented work ethic that allow her to spend hours working out as well as her blessed genetic make-up.

So go vegan if that appeals to you, but don’t do it expecting to look like Beyoncé. Plenty of the vegans I know are no thinner than they were when they ate meat. Potato chips are vegan after all.

Almost Made The Whole Season Without a Twisted Ankle, Almost

Carter really get’s her tuition’s worth of tape at basketball. She gets her ankles that have been rolled multiple times taped daily. Her shin splint calves tightly wrapped and her past torn meniscus and patella tendentious knees secured with tape. With all this precautionary taping as well as sonic treatments and ice and heat she has been able to stay relatively injury free during the whole long basketball season.

With Cha’Mia having an accident in a game last week, Nicole still recovering from her major knee blow out, Kenan’s leg still braced to within an inch of her life and Allyssa recovering from a concussion the team was down to six players. Last night they faced a crazy tough opponent and did not fare well. Carter was despondent, but determined for the team to rally and show the coach what they had in them.

With a back-to -back game tonight this was the six-girl team’s chance to prove they had real heart for basketball. Every player was important and was playing at top notch. The team quickly got out to a 13-2 lead in the first quarter. They were communicating, defending big and hit a majority of their baskets. Carter was getting more play time than ever and was rebounding and stopping the ball from going in the opponent’s basket.

The team was hot. The coach was happy. It was 30-10 right before the end of the half and it happened, Carter rolled her ankle and went down. I saw her do it. I knew her pain. The trainer came out with Carter’s coach and eventually she got off the court to the side for ice and a sprained ankle declaration, even with all that tape.

This meant that the last standing five players, Liz, Izzy, Erin, Serena and Imani had to finish out the game without a rest or fouling out. They held on and won the game something like 47 -22. Their heart showed big. Now it’s time for Carter to ice and keep that leg up high so it can heal in time for Friday’s game. At least Grace will play up from JV that game so they can have another player.

Congratulations girls. You fought hard. You are a team, a great one.

1000 Days

Yesterday after I posted my blog I got a message from my blog hosting service congratulating me on my 1,000^th post. It is hard to believe that I have written and posted something everyday for almost three years.

Maybe I should rename my blog the 1,000-day war rather than Less Dana. It certainly has been more Dana than anyone ever thought they needed and I have to say that my weight loss journey is a constant battle, but one that has been much more successful with this blog as my accountability.

That being said, I wonder how long the blog should go on. Have I already told every story I have in me? Have I exhausted the attention of my readers? Have I run out of witty banter and just succumbed to complaining? I’m not sure yet, but what I do know is that I worry if I take my eye off this ball I easily could slip back into bad habits.

My Thanksgiving to Christmas relaxation in both exercise and healthy eating proved that my body easily could return to it’s former self. In my lifetime I have gained and lost hundreds of pounds, usually in 100 pound increments. I know it is not the way I want to go again. So for now I am going to keep at the program that has gotten me here, which I guess means daily written accountability.

I’m sorry if it is tedious. Of course if you are still reading this you can let me know when it is time for me to stop. But as a reminder why I do this I am posting a picture of me with Carter from 13 years ago and a very bad selfie taken just now in my 1950’s pink bathroom full-length mirror. I do wear reading glasses now and my skin is dryer and my daughter towers over me, but I am also about 125 pounds thinner than that picture and I certainly don’t want to go back there and wear reading glasses and have dry skin.

My Two Degrees of Separation From MLK Jr.

You know the game six degrees of Kevin Bacon? It started as a party game to see if you can figure out the shortest distance of one actor in a movie to a movie Kevin Bacon was in. Like if you said Tom Cruise you would get one degree of separation since they both were in a Few Good Men. But if you said Keira Knightly you would get two degrees of separation because she was in the Imitation Game with Benedict Cumberbatch and he was in Black Mass with Kevin Bacon. Basically Linked In works on the same principle. You put the name in of someone you are trying to connect with and Linked In finds who you know who knows him or her too.

In celebration of Martin Luther King’s birthday I am going to make my connection to the great leader. When I lived in Washington DC I had a side business as a caterer. John Lewis, congressman from Atlanta, confident and civil rights marcher with Dr. King was one of my customers. See he liked to serve southern food and I could cook southern before it became main stream, that and I was an inexpensive caterer. Congress Lewis especially liked my pecan bars. Since I know him and he knew Dr. King that is my two degrees.

Three years ago when Carter went on her seventh grade trip to Washington, DC she met John Lewis. She did not exactly know whom he was when she broke away from her group to go over to shake his hand; just that he appeared to be a fairly important person at the Capital. She excitedly told me about meeting him after her teacher filled her in. That’s when I told her my connection. Her response was, “Why don’t you make those pecan bars for us?” I don’t think that at the time she appreciated that she too had a two-degree separation from Dr. King.

Having that connection is not what is important on this day, but thinking about how we can all be more peaceful in our negotiations about living together. I wonder how disappointed Dr. King might be to see how poorly we all are getting along some fifty years after his peace marches. Rights are apparently not something we automatically keep once they are won. We have to keep working at ensuring that all humans have the rights they deserve. I just hope that we can all follow Dr. King’s example of working towards getting and keeping rights peacefully.

If You Missed This Game

It’s not often an entire Upper School gym filled to capacity for a Friday night basket ball game could sit completely silent without any cheering or clapping as our team made basket after basket. Since three starting players were in a serious car accident after leaving last Friday’s winning game the team, the students, the faculty and the parents came together for tonight’s game as a show of love and support to the injured boys. The young man who was most seriously hurt is number 12 and the plan was for a silent game until the team had made 12 points. With the stands filled with supporters all wearing shirts with the word FAMILY with the school DA logo in place of the “A” you could feel the love in the room.

The opposition did not make it easy, but four minutes into the first quarter Sophomore Jorden Davis, one of only two regular starters still able to play made the 12^th point basket. The gym erupted with everyone on his or her feet cheering and clapping. If God had not been paying attention to healing Cam, Alston and Ryan before there was no way he could ignore them now.

Our school community wanted to send all the messages of love and support they could to our boys. You could feel the team on the court willing them to win this game for their brothers. At the half there was still a big question whether they could do it going into the locker room down by seven. But something happened in that locker room and towards the end of the third quarter and all the guys who don’t usually get much playing time as well as the few starters were on fire. The team suddenly pulled forward and not only did they score 28 points in the second half they kept their opponents from adding even one point from the sixth minute of the third all the way until the end. The final score was Cary 39 DA 55.

The students who filled three sections of the big bleachers swarmed the court and surrounded the team. They were doing it not just for the players who were there, but for the three who were not. We are a family. We cherish each individual. We rise to support our community. I hope that each person there felt the love and those who were not will feel it from the stories, photos and video of the night. DA Strong.

Breast Feeding Diet?

While sitting across the table from my friend Christy enjoying a nice meal at a local Whole Foods I knew something interesting was going on behind me from the look on her face. Christy being a very polite person did not say a word, but I could tell from her face that I should not turn around and look, but I so wanted to. Instead I sat patiently yet desperately trying to look at the reflection in her eyes to make out what was going on.

When the appropriate moment came around she told me in hushed tones about the child behind me who had finished eating her cliff bar, getting off her chair and pushing over to her Mom where she was able to get back up the chair and get a drink of breast milk.

Now a mother breast-feeding in a Whole Foods is not an unusual sight. But the idea that a child who is old enough to get up move her own big chair and take care of her own breast feeding is another issue. Christy at first thought the child was four, but we gave the mother the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe she was just a very large three. Whichever, she was old enough that the mother felt no need to hold her hand when they were going to the door.

Our conversation turned quickly to breast feeding, which we both agreed was an ideal way to feed a baby, but not necessarily a child who can do it self service. I told Christy of a friend in Washington who had a neighbor whose son got off the school bus and came in my friend’s house where his mother was visiting and asked for a “snack” and the mother whipped out her snacking breast. That was really where I draw the line.

I know women who loved breast-feeding because it kept their metabolism very high and they either lost tons of weight while doing it or were able to eat copious amounts of calories and not put any weight on. Now I am not suggesting that this mother today was using her three, perhaps four year old as a diet aid, but a mother who can afford to shop at Whole Foods probably does not have to personally produce the milk her child needs for nutrition at this point.

I am just interested in how long a suckling child will feed if allowed to? Based on the Washington experience clearly being able to ride the school bus alone is not too old? I wonder if that boy is still that close to his mother? Since that happened over 25 years ago I wonder if he is still living in her basement?

Breast-feeding as a diet aid is not in my cards anymore so I am happy to cross that off the list as an aid to get off those last holiday pounds.

Je Suis Charlie- And I Don’t Have Anything to Sell You

Russ forwarded me an e-mail he got today from a local store with a headline that read, “Come into (Our store) and enjoy discounts on all of our French Wine and Beer selections.” This was followed up with “To show support for our French colleagues, we are featuring all French wine at 20% off through Monday.”

Somehow I am not sure how my buying French wine at a discount is showing support for France, rather it seems like an excuse for a sale and a way to drive people into their store. No mention was made that the shop was using the profits to do any direct support of France.

As a somewhat outspoken person who has worked at a magazine for the last five years I am all about freedom of the press. I fully support the French people and especially the people who work at Charlie Hebdo. I think that satire and the ability to laugh at politics and leaders of all kinds is important.   Those who take everything much too seriously sometime lose sight of the bigger picture.

I feel like the radicals of the world could benefit greatly from a big shot of humor. If Isis had a comedian in their ranks they might not be so mad all the time.

“Je Suis Charlie” I say. But let’s not use the tragedy in Paris as a vehicle for commerce here. It just seems in bad taste. Better to support France by actually going to France and spending your Euros there. Yes, if we buy some French wine here right now it may eventually lead to restocking and purchase of more French wine down the road, but that seems like a lot of “ifs” and I’m not sure the French people are going to really know you are supporting them.

Buying one of the hard to get copies of the most recent issue of Charlie Hebdo might send a faster and bigger message not just to the French people, but also to the terrorists that we do not lay down to their actions, but stand up and support even more loudly people’s right to free speech.

Check yourself if cartoons are making you so mad that you feel the need to kill someone. A little humor makes life better.

The Ice Storm Crazy

“Why are you buying fish?” came the question from a strange voice behind me as I stood at the seafood counter.

Practically before I could even turn around to see if that question was aimed at me came the follow-up, “Don’t you know we are getting an ice storm?”

There, looking like Helen Thomas, famed white house AP reporter, stood a small elderly woman who was staring right at me. Since no one else was in the vicinity I assumed she was talking to me.

“My daughter wants flounder for dinner,” I told her, even though it wasn’t any of her business.

“Doesn’t she know we are getting an ice storm?”

“Yes,” I said, as if this conversation was going in a rational direction.

I looked at the short, but robust old woman and then to her cart, which had the requisite ice storm groceries of white bread, milk, toilet paper and frozen pizza in it. I assumed she too must be buying fish since based on the contents of her cart she had already made a sweep of the store.

“Are you buying fish?” I asked in my most polite, I am a southerner, even if I don’t give a shit way.

“No, that is crazy. Who buys fish for an ice storm?”

It was all I could do to hold back from saying, “What business is it of yours lady? And why are you even all the back in the corner of the store if you are not buying fish?” But I didn’t. Society would frown on that.

Instead I went the other direction of trying to out crazy the crazy and said, “Haven’t you heard that if you eat fish before an ice storm you won’t lose power at your house?”

As if on cue, the fishmonger handed me my package of flounder and I was able to thank him and make a quick get away before Helen Jr. could pepper me with more questions.

Oh, the joys of impending bad winter weather in the south. It really brings out the ones who are normally locked in.

The Weather Effect

It is really grey today. I looked out my window every hour or so and no matter the actual time of day it looked like it was seven at night. The cold constant drizzle and lack of sun is OK for one day, but I fear that this is the way it is going to be all week.

I know that it is colder and either snowy or icy in places further north, but snow with sun is a mood brightener for me whereas this overcast pall is a real downer. The danger comes in the attempt to uplift my psyche with food during the doldrums spell.

My defense to starve off over eating, (no pun intended) is to stay busy with fun activities and go to bed early. I have found that I am best at not eating when I am asleep. The only problem is that January is my “catch up on work I put off over the holidays” month. Not only is that not fun but I am finding many tasks that I have completely forgotten about that need my attention right away. Maybe just busy is the next best thing, even if it is with dreaded work. What I fear is that I will look for excuses not to work and find food to fill my time.

I think bears have it just right. Stay awake and eat as much as you can during the happy summer months and come the horrible cold time just sleep through the whole thing and lose the weight you gained at the same time. I assume bears wake up much thinner since they, like me are not eating in their sleep.

Who says as a human I have to be productive in equal amounts all year long? What if I am just productive half of the months if I promise to be twice as prolific during those months?

Now if I could schedule meetings with the caveat that it will happen only if it is a nice sunny day, or maybe not. Perhaps I could skip all meeting on beautiful days and just have fun. I don’t know the answer, just that I feel myself being sucked into some downward spiral the longer the grey goes on. Whatever, I have to post this blog because it is almost six at night and I am going to need to get to bed very soon or else I may eat something I’m sorry about.

Thai Slaw

When Carter asks me if we have any of a certain vegetable I previously made I know I have hit the jackpot. Usually she would be happy to have nothing but a hunk of steak for dinner, but tonight she just wanted a stuffed potato and this Thai slaw.

You can add almost any raw vegetable you have on hand.

1 10 oz. package of Angel Hair Cabbage

¼ cup of diced red onions

1 carrot – peeled and cut into matchsticks

Handful of chopped cilantro

Dressing

2 T. Fish Sauce

2 T. limejuice

3 T. rice Vinegar

½ t. sesame oil

4 packets of Splenda

1 T. water

1 dried red chili –crushed

1 clove of garlic – minced

Black Pepper

Mix all the ingredients to make the dressing. Put all the vegetables in a bowl and pour the dressing over it. The slaw is good right away, but also can marinate for a little while, that is if you can resist eating it.

Cold Snap

Apparently tomorrow is going to be the coldest day of at least the last ten months. Really we have been fairly lucky with winter so far and a couple of cold days are to be expected in January or February. I have become a real whus when it comes to cold weather these days. I am cold all the time. I have just screwed up my internal heating system with dieting I think. I keep waiting for hot flashes to start just so I can take the eternal chill off, but that does not seem to be happening.

Today was one of those crazy busy days where I had every moment planned and accounted for. Just so I could get everything done I even got up an hour early to get some steps in before I had to go to the gym and be tortured by my trainer. Thank goodness for the treadmill desk because if I had to do my walking outside in this cold I would have burned my fitbit long ago.

When I first got out of bed I was a little more cold than usual and almost gave up on walking because the house temp was still set at extra-cold-sleeping-temp. Eventually I made it to the treadmill and started the day with a walking bonus.

After they gym I came home and took a long hot shower and turned back around and left the house to go play Mah Jongg. It was freezing cold at the club. My fellow frozen players and I thought the club was just saving money and not running the heat. After that I got in my little car and cranked up the seat heaters and ran to needlepoint to drop off some finishing.

It was nice a toasty warm there with many of my stitching table advisors in residence, but I could not stay there long because I needed to get to Cary for Carter’s basketball game. I stopped at home to walk Shay and noticed a distinct difference in the temperature in the house. Of course I had just come out of my sauna like car, but I still thought for a second I could see my breath.

I went to the thermostat and sure enough it read 59 degrees actual temp, with a heat setting of 69. NOOOOOO! Today was not the day for my HVAC to fail. I went to the furnace room where I did the only thing I knew how to do, turn the unit on and off. No luck, still cold. I texted Carter that I was going to miss her bball game and called the repairman.

In some miracle he arrived in less than half an hour, found the two broken parts, which he had stocked in the truck, replaced them and got the heat working in less than twenty minutes. To really add icing to this most fabulous cake, when he was writing up my ticket he said, “Have you lost a lot of weight?” If I weren’t so happily married I would have kissed him.

I jumped in the sauna mobile and made it to Cary Christian before the tip off. Carter’s team won in a very exciting game. The only bad part was those Christians must have been trying to save money and they did not have the heat on in the gym. Seemed to be the theme of the day.

Don’t Quit

Did you make a New Year’s resolution this year? Apparently something like 60% of American adults report they commit to doing something better in the next year. No matter what your resolution was, whether to try to stop smoking, get more organized or the most common resolution — to lose weight, today is the day when most people break their resolution.

It seems that five or six days is the standard amount of time people can stick to a plan they have made. If you are one of those people don’t worry. Just because you broke your resolution does not mean that you have to wait 359 days to try again, just start again, right now.

Changing any habit, especially a bad one, is work all the time. I know that there is some study that says that a new way of living becomes a habit after about three months, but I just don’t believe that. I think that it takes years of constant attention to do the right thing mindlessly.

Even though I committed to walking 20,000 steps a day twelve months ago, once I took my foot off the peddle I did not come back to actually doing again for over a month. I finally have completed a whole week of over 20,000 steps a day, but it has been hard work. I forgot how much time it actually takes to walk that much. I tried adding some running, but my hips were not happy with me for a few days after those running bursts.

I can say that after ten months of really trying to walk that much everyday it was no habit. So don’t depend on this illusion that you can retrain your brain to do the right thing automatically, instead commit to just keep trying. If you fall off the wagon, just get back on.

Resolutions are just a jumping off point. My suggestion to make you more successful and one that I have used for myself with the best results is to set a goal and share it. Don’t just tell your loved ones, but shout it out to the world and own your resolution. Saving face by just doing what you said you would do is the best way to change your bad habits. I promise keeping your resolution a secret is the fastest way to fail.

Corned Ham- Via Vivian Howard and Bill Smith

In the vein of really planning ahead this blog is for your next New Year’s Day celebration. Sometimes I have to write about things that won’t make anyone mad. No promises, but recipes tend to be less controversial material. I promise I will go back to making someone mad tomorrow.

A few weeks before Christmas I went to a fundraiser for the Food Bank that Bill Smith of Crooks Corner was having with Vivian Howard the star of the PBS series A Chef’s Life. They were showing a preview of the holiday special where Bill Smith taught Vivian how to make a Corned Ham. What? You’ve never heard of Corned Ham? Well neither had I. Actually they served us this corned ham before they told us what it was and there was quite a debate about if it was turkey or ham. This is no honey baked ham, or very salty country ham, don’t let the amount of salt in the recipe make you think so.

It is a 12-13 day process and I suggest you go right to the source by goggling Corned Ham recipe. Bill Smith seems to be the Internet authority on it so it is not hard to find. Vivian’s version is on PBS.org.

I got my fresh ham with the skin on from Cliff’s meat market in Carrboro. The over 20 pound hunk of meat cost only something like $45. That’s like $2.29 a pound. It was a good weight lifting exercise just to work with it. Good thing since it is not exactly diet friendly, but the finished product is so flavorful that you only need a little.

I followed the instructions and stabbed big holes in the Ham around the bone and stuffed it with salt and then rubbed an obscene amount of salt on the outside. I wrapped it up in the largest Tupperware container I had and left it in my garage fridge for eleven days. Then I had to wash all the salt off of it and I put it in a cooler filled with water and ice overnight to soak the rest of the salt out of it.

The cooking took over six hours and I think I overcooked it a little. Next time I will check the internal temp with a thermometer earlier in the baking. It probably did not hurt it though because the meat was still delicious. Poor Shay Shay was beside herself dancing all around me as I carved the ridiculous amount of meat off the bone. I eventually got tired and wrapped up the very meaty ham bone and put it in the freezer to be used for a future black bean soup festival.

This ham is the perfect New Year’s Day meat for those who are superstitious and think that ham and black-eyed peas need to be eaten on the first day of the year if it is going to be a good year. I am not one of those people. As far as I am concerned it is what I am not eating that determines if it is going to be a good year.

What I do think is that this corned ham makes a great addition to many dishes, from egg types, like omelets and quiche to creative sandwiches with hearty cheddar and fig jam. I of course have used it in my arugula salad with pears and blue cheese and the littlest amount of ham goes a long way in the flavor department. If you are dying to try some give me a ring. Russ begged me not to give it all away, but there is no way we can eat this much ham.

Parsnips Not Pasta

Back in the eighties I did that crazy protein drink diet. It worked great while I was doing nothing but drinking four hundred calories of milk shakes a day with one cup of chicken broth thrown in for the salt content. It was during the fat-is-bad-for you time in the dieting world. So as soon I as finished the four month protein shake period I moved right into the eat pasta with fat free marinara sauce phase. The weight came back fast. I had lost weight eating protein so it was no wonder that I gained weight eating pasta.

Eventually I learned what my body likes and does not like. It does not help that my mouth and brain really like sugar and flour, which is exactly the opposite of what my thighs and stomach like.

During the last six weeks when I was eating for my mouth and not my thighs I rediscovered how much I love pasta. Now that I am back to eating what I should I am working on breaking myself of the sugar and flour fix.

I had some of the fabulous marinara sauce leftover so I decided to use roasted parsnips in place of pasta. First I really like parsnips and they are hard to find so when I saw them at Fresh Market I snatched up two bags. Second, Parsnips are white and I think that when I cut them into like sized bites before roasting them they almost looked like gnocchi. If my eyes think I am eating pasta my mouth goes along with it.

A bowl of roasted parsnips with marinara sauce and a little Parmesan cheese was really a satisfying dinner. I tired it two nights ago and the weight on the scale came off.

Today while I was at the grocery I ran into my friend Val who asked me what I would do with a soup recipe that had too much pasta in it. At first I said just leave it out, and then I mentioned the roasted parsnips as a substitution. Val let me know how you like it.

Roasted Parsnips

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Peel parsnips and cut into like sized pieces.

Cover a cookie sheet with foil and spray with Pam. Lay the parsnips on the pan in a single layer and cook in the oven about 20 minutes until the parsnips are fork tender. Sprinkle with a little salt.

They are good eaten just like that, but really make excellent fake pasta.

New Year Breakfast Tradition

Russ and I are not New Year’s Eve kind of people. The last thing we want to do is stay up late just to see the clock tick from Midnight to 12:01. We are much more Happy New Year’s day people. For the last seven years we have gotten up early on January 1 and made our annual trek to Saxapahaw to the general store for breakfast.

Breakfast there is not exactly a dieter’s delight, but the tradition is worth keeping up. For the first time Carter was not with us because she spent the night with a friend, so Russ and I brought our friend Logan who is a lover of fine cuisine. We ordered three different dishes that we shared. Thankfully one of them was a fairly light salmon filet on a bed of baby spinach topped with an egg, red onions and capers. Of course there was a butter sauce on it, but thankfully no bread, biscuit or grits.

After our fun outing it was back to the house to undecorate our Christmas house. It is a big job so I am glad to get it behind me before the New Year starts in earnest, but the lack of twinkly lights and sparkle is a little depressing.

To help overcome what I ate for breakfast as well as post Christmas blues I decided to run on my treadmill for the endorphins. I also wanted to get my 20,000 steps in as fast as possible so I could sit down and rest without guilt. The undecorating only gave me 8,000 steps so I still had two thirds of my goal to get on the treadmill. I took the running in 1,000 step increments — running for 7 minutes and resting for three. It was not as hard as I thought it would be. The only problem is that I could not write my blog while I ran.

After getting my 20,000 steps done I have remained at the walking desk to do my work. I figure it is a good idea to bank some extra steps while I can. I know that the day will come very soon when I am not going to have the time to do all my walking.

Today is the national day that diets begin. I know that I am in good company and can feel the collective healthy lifestyle happening all around me. If you made a resolution to be good to your body I hope today was a good start for you. If not don’t give up. Every meal is another chance to do the right thing.

A Look Back at the Year by the Numbers

There is no reason for me to do a retrospective of the big things in my year. My blog serves as the daily diary of big and small things that happened. Instead I decided today to enter all my data from my fit bit into a spread sheet and see how I did no my one big goal of 2014 – to walk 20,000 steps a day. Now in all honesty I did not make that my goal until the end of January, but that hardly makes a difference.

I walked t total of 6,006277 steps that were counted when I wore my fitbit, in 2014. I almost always had it one and only once or twice was it uncharged, so over six million is fairly accurate. My numbers say that I walked a total of 2627 miles.

Sounds like a lot, but it is no even close to reaching my goal. I average 16,455 steps a day so I was just over 80% of the way there. That meant I walked an average of 7.2 miles a day. Only in the month of February did I actually walk an average that was over 20,000 steps a day.

I started the year 22 pounds heavier than I got at my lowest point. If you are reading between the lines you can figure out that I gained weight at the end of the year. I tried a terrible experiment of letting myself eat whatever I wanted between Thanksgiving and Christmas and walking just as much as I wanted to see what would happen. Eight pounds is what happened and an average of only walking 10,000 steps a day.

That experiment is officially over. I started eating like a judge a couple of days ago and today will be the first day I will get my 20,000 steps in, thanks to lots of time doing spread sheets to see how badly things can go when I am not vigilant.

My new goal is to do 20,000 steps a day as an average in each month. That means that if I am going on vacation and know I will be sitting on a plane, unallowed to get up and roam the aisle I am going to have to bank steps in advance. If I am sick one day I will have to make it up in the next couple. If I have an all day meeting I will have to stay on my treadmill later into the night.

I also am going to keep my spreadsheet as I go along and not have one big data dump day. This way I can track in real time. I know that I am not a person who can eat holiday food without consequence. I also know that I need to keep moving if I am to lose even eight pounds. No fun, no fair, tough luck, that’s me.

So Happy New Year to you and yours. I hope that holiday eating and sitting around did not do to you what it did not me. I know that most of the world will be on some sort of diet come tomorrow. Welcome to my life, as I should live it. Not living clean is clearly not an option. Hopefully it won’t take me longer than it took me to put it on to get it off.

Holiday Basketball Invitational

For the last few days Russ and I have been driving to and from Cary to watch Carter’s team play in a basketball tournament. Since we have to pay $8 each to get into every game we think of this tournament as a big revenue generator for the host school. It started the day after Christmas with no break to get away for post Christmas family time, but his was the commitment we took on when Carter made Varsity.

The team is small in number and short on players with lots of years of experience, but long on heart and sticktoittiveness. The coaches are tough, but the lessons learned from just being part of this group are invaluable.

Earlier in the season I was sitting in the stands with my friend David Beischer who is a parent of a boy who plays basketball as well as a basketball playing alum of DA. While watching the girls in a very tough match against a team with a much deeper bench of seasoned players on their way to D-1 basketball scholarships he told me about an old DA Physics professor whose name I can’t remember, who created some theorem that said, once a girls team was down eleven points there was no way they were coming back to win a game.

During that particular game the girls were down by 14 points, came back to being one up and in the final seconds let their defense down and lost the game. It was a miracle that they came back by that much in the first place, but heart breaking. To me the good news was that they had proven the 30-year theorem could be broken.

The Holiday Invitational started out with DA girls winning their first match up handily. The second game was much tougher and they could not pull out the win, but during that game one of the captains of the team, junior Cha’Mia Rothwell made her 1,000^th point as a DA varsity player. The amazing thing about this is basketball is not even her best sport, you should see her run track.

Today was the final game against a tough team from Fayetteville. If you have never been to Fayetteville you have no idea how tough it is. The DA girls were in a shoot out to see which team would take 3^rd in the tournament.

The game started badly and quickly went sideways for our girls. In the third quarter they were down by 21 points. A fellow parent, an ex-professional football player, who I sat with during the whole tournament muttered, “Just get to down 14 and we will be happy.” It seemed like a big ask to me, but we all prayed.

The forth quarter started and all I could think of was whatshisname Physics Professor’s Theorem – down almost double his theory there was no way. But the little team with lots of heart did not know they could not win this game. Slowly they started chipping away at Fayetteville’s lead. Suddenly three’s were being hit and free throws were all being made. With seconds left, Cha’Mia, better known as Cham on the court got us tied up and them closed it down by making a free throw in the very last second. The crowd went wild. My heart was beating so hard it felt as if I had just run a marathon. Fittingly after the game was the planned cake celebration of Cham reaching her 1,000^th point in the previous game.

It was heart breaking for the Fayetteville girls who were sure this was their game when they were up by 21. That old teacher might have been a great Physics Prof, but he did not know this team of girls. Congratulations to the little team with the big heart, their great coaches Krista and Robert and all the friends and family members who came out to support them at each and every game. Watching you come together as a team was worth more than double every dollar and hour spent.

Trying to End the Year Well

In an effort to alleviate any guilt I have about Holiday eating, slouching about and lack of productivity I got back on the horse today. I could have waited until January second like most people who have a resolution they want to fulfill, but I feel like waiting is just an excuse.

Back on the treadmill early in the day I knew was the only way to deal with my lost good habits. While walking I paid all my bills, sorted all my deal-with-it-later mail, entered all new Christmas card alerted addresses in my electronic address book, (boy did a lot of you move this year) and put away all the Christmas wrapping. That only accounted for about a thousand steps.

I tried, but was quite unsuccessful at hand writing my thank you notes while I walked. I figured my handwriting while still was bad enough and I don’t want anyone to think I’m coming down with Parkinson’s when they receive a long over due thank you note.

I turned to my never ending to do list… The biggest thing that has been on it the longest is completing my scrapbooks from our African trip. Now I have scrap books from years back that are not done, I am yet to even consider our past two spring break trips, but those were not actually written on the list, they just remain in my list in my brain. I decided to tackle the more than half finished double volume Africa books.

I have one great excuse why they were not finished. My computer was so full of so many photos that it was not working correctly. Russ fixed that by getting me a new computer for Christmas. No more excuses. I opened the I-photo program and tried to walk and decide which of the 8,000 photos to put where. It was clear that I cold not do this job while walking so I flipped a coin and decided that sitting and finishing the books was a better use of my time.

Amazingly it only took me about five hours to place all the photos and them go back and write all the copy. I had Russ proof read them and then very un-editor like I did not reread them, instead just pressed the “Buy Book” button and sent off one South Africa and one Zambia book. Come the middle of January I am sure to carrying around these books to show anyone who wants to look at them.

Back on the treadmill by seven PM I may still be able to get my 20,000 steps in before tomorrow comes. It feels great to get these big things checked off my list. I think I am going to like starting 2015 without much of a hangover. If only I could drop the Christmas weight I gained. I think it will take me the whole month of January and at least half of February to do that.

Beginning the Weaning Process- Salad

December has been a rich food eatapalooza. Now it’s time to pay the piper. Considering that the house is still full of normally forbidden food I need to begin retraining my mouth, brain and stomach back to non-holiday food. Russ and I started out the day with a big walk for Shay Shay. The walk helped get on the right path although I was not ready to go cold turkey back to arugula salad for lunch and dinner. I decided that a good taboubli like salad might be an easy way to wean my mouth from holiday food. I had quinoa that I used instead of bulgur wheat.

1 C. Quinoa

2 c. Vegetable stock

1-pint cherry tomatoes

1 ½ English Cucumber

2 Handfuls fresh Mint

2 Handfuls Cilantro

1/3 c. minced Red Onion

3 cloves of garlic

Zest and juice of 2 lemons

1 T. sherry Vinegar

2 T. Olive Oil

Salt and Pepper

Put the quinoa and vegetable stock in a saucepan bring to a boil and cover it and cook on simmer for fifteen minutes. Remove from heat and chill in refrigerator.

Cut the tomatoes in half and put in big mixing bowl. Cut the English Cucumbers in half and scoop out the seeds and discard. Then cut each half a cucumber into six strips and chop into ¼ inch pieces. Add the Cucumber to the big bowl.

Remove mint leaves from steps and chop. Add to bowl. Do the same with the cilantro. Add the red onion then finally mince the garlic and add that.

Add the lemon zest and juice, vinegar and olive oil. Add the cooled quinoa. Salt and Pepper to taste.

I hope this is going to help.

It’s Over

I’m shocked there is no cartoon about the sadness of Christmas night. So much build up – awaiting the birth of Jesus. The shopping and wrapping, the cooking and gathering of family from near and far. The sleepless night on Christmas Eve, no matter your age or anticipation of a filled stocking. The over indulgence, making sure you have all the gifts you bought ready to give, ripping open the paper, and then in a blink it’s over. The days of making grocery lists, buying food and cooking, then gobble, gobble it’s gone.

The baby is born, hooray. Now the real work starts. Jesus did not come into the world a grown man, ready to do great things. He came as a baby, needing to be cared for, raised and taught. Yes, the Christmas story has those wise men traveling from far off lands following the star to bring the savior gifts. But really, it took them a few months to get there and until they arrived Mary and Joseph were there with this little mouth to feed and no pampers were in sight. When those kings arrived I’m not sure how much good that gold and frankincense and myrrh really were. What about a jogging stroller?

Even if you got exactly what you were hoping for this Christmas, the excitement of waiting for it is more fun to me than owning it. Now it’s time to find a place for all the new, to put away the sparkle and get back to regular life. Granted the tree and the lights, ornaments, wreaths and bows aren’t coming down tonight, but I look at them as already spent, used and finished with for at least eleven more months.

There is no more excuse to eat the decedent holiday food, although I was quite happy that my father requested pasta and salad. He asked me today as I was serving the Cannelloni how I knew that was secretly what he was hoping for, but did not want to ask me to make since it is such a complicated dish. That was a minor Christmas miracle that I guessed the right food. Unfortunately, my parents got too worn out to wait for the dessert of Apple Pie Cake I made, at least my sisters and Sophie stayed for that treat.

Tomorrow I will start to pay for Christmas naughtiness. That makes me sad to think of all that I ate in the last few weeks and that it is over until next Christmas. No more cookies, or kringle, candy bacon or pasta. Back to clean eating and the discipline of living like a monk.

If I can keep in mind how hard those first few months of taking care of baby Jesus were for Mary I might be inspired to live a clean and restrained life. Perhaps there is a new diet fad in this, the “I’m raising the son of God with no real help” diet.

I hope you had a Merry Christmas with your loved ones around you. I hope that no fighting and bickering have broken out at your house. I hope that the let down of Christmas being over does not make the long dark days feel darker. Mostly I hope you are not alone and have love and joy in your lives. Merry Christmas.

New Traditions, Just Not so Traditional

I’ve written this blog for 960 days in a row. That means this is my third Christmas Eve. I only ever missed posting myself one day, a year ago tomorrow when I was so sick on Christmas that I slept through the whole day, missing all the celebrating. On that day my family posted for me so that I could keep up my streak of posting something everyday.

I am beginning to fear that I am repeating stories, something I am famous for doing in person. Russ has my most repeatable stories numbered by popularity. What that really means is that the low numbered stories are the ones he is most sick of hearing. To ensure I did not write that same thing this year as I did in the last two I went back in the archives and read what I wrote on Christmas Eve’s past.

Both years were poems about cooking and eating decadent holiday meals that we were going to be enjoying with our Christmas Eve dinner friends. Well, I am in no danger of being repetitive since our standard dinner was canceled because our friends were going to be serving a meal at the shelter.

Replacement for that heavy and fattening meal Carter and Russ wanted a new tradition that they started last year on Christmas day when I was sick in bed, Chinese food for Christmas. Since my family is coming for Christmas day dinner and I have been cooking up a storm for that one holiday meal I happily agreed to this new way of celebrating.

Yesterday Russ called the restaurant to ask them if he needed a reservation and was met with the expectable, “Of course you do!” gruff response. Christmas is a big time of year for Chinese restaurants. Despite needing the reservation so badly, he was able to get one right away.

Today I got a Christmas miracle call from our regular Christmas Eve dinner guests. They had made a mistake and were not serving dinner at the shelter tonight, but had to do it yesterday and were now free for dinner. Hooray! Chinese Christmas Eve for us all.

Perhaps this will be our new tradition. No one has to cook. No one even has to eat the same things. We decided that you don’t have to be Jewish to enjoy Chinese food at Christmas. So God bless us everyone and pass the fortune cookies!