January 25- Janie Carter Day
Posted: January 25, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
For someone who hates winter as much as my mother it just seems wrong that today is her birthday. Winter and the fact that it is just one month past Christmas makes January 25th not an ideal day, but my Mom is certainly making the most of it. Last Thursday before the blizzard hit the east coast my Mom drove up to Washington, DC because why not go to one of her favorite places the day before the whole city is going to shut down with the most snow ever.
Now her favorite daughter, Janet, does live there as does her next favorite, Margaret, but Margaret had the good sense to leave DC for Miami, and that is why she is second favorite. Despite the travel ban my Mom said she has had a fun weekend going to a gallery and out to lunch before the snow hit the city and then playing bridge once everyone was trapped inside. Sounds like the perfect birthday weekend for my mother.
Today I am told that our friend Anne is having a lunch for her and the favorite daughter Janet is doing a dinner so perhaps my mother was right to run from the farm to the big city so she could be celebrated in style. She also left my father home alone to plow all the farm roads so by the time she will get home tomorrow everything at the farm will be perfect.
I found this picture of Carter and Mom in Washington DC in 2008 at her last big DC birthday party. Seems like her best birthdays have taken place in DC so to overcome the fact that it is so close to Christmas in the doldrums of late January, is cold and full of snow she is making the most of it.
I am just sorry that as second to the second most favorite daughters she is not here for us to celebrate her, but I guess that will have to wait until she visits in February. I can’t compete with galleries and fancy bridge parties. Instead we will go to lunch someplace good and then to the shoe repairman. Now that will be living big, but at 78 a good shoe repairman is practically like gold.
Happy birthday Janie Carter. Sorry your birthday is not during a beautiful month like May or September, the months you had your children. We appreciate you giving us good weather months to celebrate. Just know that all your daughters and your grand daughter love you.
Snow No Diet Days
Posted: January 24, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentOutside of the Super Bowl it appears to me that snow days, when you are stuck in your house for multiple days, are the worse days for your diet. Based on what my friends are posting on Facebook I would say that mac n’ cheese, chili, coco and brownies are the top items people feel a need to make when stuck in their house.
Now I agree that melted cheese in any form, whether in a grilled cheese or on top of a mug of hot chili is the best consolation for being home bound, but really too many days home with your loved ones should not be seen as a punishment. One of Carter’s friends, who shall remain nameless, said that her family was getting along by staying in their own sections of the house. That is certainly a better plan than trying to create peace with warm melted chocolate.
One friend posted that when her husband heard the storm was coming went to the store and bought frozen Sara Lee coffee cakes in multiples. So much for New Years resolutions. Of course the snow is the perfect excuse to break your diet. The lettuce in your house is getting old and who is comforted by an old orange when you come in from shoveling the snow?
I am not doing any better. I made myself some tuna salad for lunch and then put it on a slice of bread with some cheese on top and put it in the toaster oven. I can’t remember the last time I had a toasted sandwich, but apparently the snow drove me to it.
I think I need to have lunch with my friends so that I get back into the salad swing. I also have to stop looking at what people are posting on Facebook. Even the images of Mac and cheese are making my mouth water. Thank goodness I feel the need to reserve what little milk I have for breakfast so I won’t be tempted to make a big casserole of homemade pasta gratin. I better not look in the pantry because I’m sure I have some evaporated milk and really, that makes the best mac ‘n cheese.
Why Don’t I Have Boots?
Posted: January 23, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentBy Shay Shay Lange
I woke up this morning when my Dad got out of bed and despite the cold I went outside to discover the whole world turned white while I slept. At first I thought I was in an old fashioned movie, you know where the people are grey, because in the early morning light everything was black and white or mostly grey.
The white was hard and cold and I slipped around. I sniffed the air, smelling for deer or other friends who usually come play in my yard, but I couldn’t find any tale tale signs they had been around so I came back in the house to snuggle with my humans. I really like that daddy moves from one comfy spot to another so I have lots of warm places to sleep. Why I get up early with him I do not know, when I could have stayed in bed with one of the other girls and slept late where it was warm and snuggly.
After the Mom got up I had to go outside and play while she and my Dad pushed the white stuff off the car. They only did it on the big black elephant like car they only drive when the world is white or they have a lot of kids to drive around. My feet got cold on the white so I stood on my Mom’s boots. That made me wonder where my boot were. Shouldn’t someone have gotten me something to protect my little feet?
My Mom and my other Mom Carter went out in the big elephant car to the movies so I stayed snuggled with Dad. When they came back Carter took me over to the golf course to try and run, but hey, I still did not have boots and I slipped all over the place.
After that I was exhausted so I did not mind when my people left me to go out to dinner and to see some girl named Matilda sing songs about eating sweets when she grows up. Seems like the big black elephant car likes the white stuff and is able to get my people places others dare not go. I was not worried about them, but was still glad when they got home. I need them to snuggle with me. It is colder without them and I am just a baby, who needs some boots.
Dancing Days
Posted: January 22, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentOur snow day turned into a sleet day, but the three of us were home together nonetheless. Russ ventured out on a walk to the store to buy eggs, but other than that it was a day at home, home, home. The sleet hitting the windows made and is still making, is quite a racket, but I’ll take a that over freezing rain clinging to tree branches that fall on the roof.
Carter convinced me to binge watch a show about teenagers in the eighties so she could quiz me about it’s authenticity. Even though I was not a teenager in the eighties I was still able to confirm that the shoulder pads and bright colors and big hair were the way we lived back in those dark ages.
In one episode the characters went to the Limelight, the church turned disco, in NYC. Carter was interested in my dancing past, which I only shared in a generality. The best thing she said was, “Where did you out your coat and purse, were there lockers?”
We both broke into hysterical laughter as soon as she said it, but then I got to thinking about what a good idea it is. The worst thing for those eighties years was freezing when we went out dancing because we did not want to wear our coats since there was no place to put them without fear of it getting stolen, spilled on or walked on when it fell on the floor. We never went places nice enough to have coat checks or with owners not smart enough to have lockers.
I certainly don’t miss figuring out the going dancing logistics, not just the coat issue, but where to put my car keys in an outfit without pockets, but I do miss the exercise I got from all that dancing. The clothes may have been terrible, but the dancing music was great. With all that sweating I guess we never needed our coats when we left a club anyway, but I still think the locker idea would be good.
Maybe I should open a disco in my playroom to help work off the holiday calories. It would be a lot more fun than working out and I have a big closet to store the coats.
Snowmageton?
Posted: January 21, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
In the 22 years we have lived in Durham Russ has some how been away for every major snow event. The worst one was when Carter was little and we lost power for seven days. I think Russ was in London for that one. I eventually made it to the farm after a couple of days with no power where amazingly my parents had electricity. Back in the olden days I could call my home phone and if the answering picked up it meant the power had come back on.
According to my scrapbooks Russ missed a number of snows in a row when Carter was two. I remember that the first night without power I threw a heavy duty extension cord out the window of my bedroom and plugged it into the power inverter in my jeep, not to run a heater or lights, but to power the TV since it was the final episode of Survivor. If Russ had been home I probably would not have wanted to watch TV, but if Russ were home it probably would not have snowed so much.
Tonight everything on earth has been canceled in anticipation of the storm the forecasters say we are getting in the morning. Not that I do not believe meteorologists, but really the odds of it happening with Russ home are next to none. Now I truly believe that Washington, DC is going to get a record setting amount of snow, but Durham, not so much. We could get a thin layer of ice that makes driving too dangerous and therefore the closings will be necessary, but I am fairly certain this is no snowmageton.
Russ could have gone to Philly this week, but since his brother has been moved back into CICU to help his body accept his new heart, he decided to stay home because he would not be allowed to spend time with David so as not to introduce new germs to him. If Russ had gone I would guarantee at least a foot of snow.
So enjoy the second long weekend in a row. If we do get a lot of snow it will break every rule of our marriage that says I should do all the snow shoveling.
Tzatziki Sauce is The Answer
Posted: January 20, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
Carter is addicted to tzatziki sauce. I can make almost any meat and even if she normally would turn her nose up at it, if I offer tzatziki sauce sudden it becomes her favorite meal. If you don’t know what it is you probably had it with a gyro.
Tzatziki is a cucumber, yoghurt sauce that is much healthier than mayonnaise as a condiment. Tonight we had it on lamb burgers and everyone was very happy.
1 pint of fat free Greek yoghurt
1 large cucumber
3 cloves of garlic
Juice of one lemon
Sprinkle of dill weed
Peel the cucumber, cut in half and scoop out the seeds. Cut the cucumber into strips and then chop into a small dice.
Put in a bowl with the yoghurt, lemon juice and using a micro plane grate the garlic into the bowl. Add the dill sparingly and taste before adding more. Salt and pepper.
Good as a condiment, dip or salad dressing.
Paris Tea, Who Knew?
Posted: January 19, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment 
If drinking iced tea ever became something to worry about, like drinking a dozen beers a day might be, I am going to be in trouble. Iced tea is my drink of choice and has been for almost as long as I can remember. I don’t drink soda, gave up alcohol thirty-one years ago and only occasionally drink coffee. But iced tea, I wake up to it and have it all through the day.
I’ve got making a big pitcher of tea down to a science, knowing that eleven tea bags makes the perfect two quarts. I like lime juice as my first choice, but will settle for a lemon wedge when I am out in public and a sweet’n low pink packet is my sweetener of choice.
I have traveled the world making my own iced tea in counties, mostly former British colonies, that have frowned upon the inclusion of ice when it comes to tea. I can tell when a restaurant has kept their tea too long, before I even put my lips to the glass, by the smell.
With all these years of teaology today I was tea stumped. I went to lunch with my friend Leslie at a popular Durham lunch spot. As we ordered at the counter the server said to my request for an unsweet iced tea with lemon, “Peach or Paris.” Now I know what Peach tea is, but Paris? I was not quite sure I heard her so I responded, “I just want unsweet please.”
With no explanation of the difference in the teas, the order taker told me, “they are both unsweet,” like everyone on earth knows what Paris tea is. Since my ignorance seemed to be annoying said order person I just said, “Peach.” I turned to Leslie and asked her if she knew anything of this “Paris tea,” and she was equally stumped.
Suddenly I was questioning by years of teaology. From the way I was asked, “Peach or Paris,” I felt like I might have been a tea Rumpelstiltskin and been asleep for 20 years. I came home and Googled “Paris Tea.” Turns out it is one tea made by Harney and Sons with vanilla and caramel overtones. It has not been available for many years and is not made by other companies.
Phew. I was worried that a big thing in tea had gotten by me. At least that is how I was made to feel at lunch. Now the reviews of this tea are fabulous and I probably will go back and try it, even though reports say it is not good with lemon.
What I wish is that servers would not assume that the iced tea ordering public knows everything and please describe things. I hated being practically dismissed when I asked her to repeat the choices. I certainly did not make the line behind me wait while I was given a lesson in the differences in teas, it wasn’t even offered. Perhaps I have passed into the old lady point where I just get dismissed for asking a question. Lord knows it is hard to find good help, especially ones who are nice to iced tea drinking old ladies.
Dry Heat Okra
Posted: January 18, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
Normally a summer food, Russ came home with a big bag of okra yesterday. Carter declared she did not like it, until I cooked this two ingredient dish and changed her mind.
This does not work with frozen okra, if you can even find such a thing. That should be reserved for gumbo or some other wet dish to hide the slime. Fresh okra, cooked in a hot dry pan with a sprinkling of coriander make okra lovers out of any hardened Yankee or finicky child.
1 lb. of okra
1 T. Ground coriander
Cut the stem end off the okra and cut each spear into thirds.
Heat a nonstick fry pan up on high heat and put the okra in the pan. Cook stirring often about 8 minutes until browned. Sprinkle with coriander and cook one more minute.
Season with salt and pepper.
Football Nerves
Posted: January 17, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentWhen I was a child I was very thankful I was not a boy so I could avoid playing team sports. Watching pop warner football, seeing my classmates take hits and still not make the play made me nervous as can be. I was happy to swim or play tennis, sports that involved no contact and seemed far less dangerous than the hard hitting boy sports. I was a pre-title nine girl so the offerings for girls was more limited to begin with and all that made me happy. I felt uncomfortable even watching sports where people got hurt.
Since I went to all girls boarding school, the sports were obviously focused on girls, so I never had the opportunity to be drawn into even watching boys sports. I then went to a college which probably had the worst football team on earth. My apologies to any of my friends who played on the team, but I think in my four years there was only one touch down ever scored. That being the case going to watch the games was not something we even did. All the better, I did not have to watch anyone get tackled or run head first into other player.
Despite my dislike for playing violent sports or having any first hand experience watching live football much when the post regular season in professional ball comes along I oddly get drawn into the action. Perhaps it is the fact that it is a long weekend and we are home. This year the fact that the Carolina Panthers have the best season also helps peak my interest. Then there is the need to watch someone while I am on the treadmill.
What I cannot explain is that once I finished my steps as the Panthers were securing the win, what made me feel the need to watch the Pittsburgh/Denver game? Maybe it was that I turned the TV on looking for 60 minutes, but once I discovered an hour delay I immediately got drawn into the game. As much as I enjoyed watching two football games today I don’t feel like I must watch next week’s games, but I still want Carolina to win and be in the super bowl.
I am thankful I don’t have a son and have to watch him in the violent sports. I am still a little nervous watching pros play. It is kind of like driving by an accident. I just can’t seem to help but look.
Can’t Please Everyone
Posted: January 16, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentI am a big proponent of eating home cooked food for dinner, rather than eating prepared or restaurant dinners all the time. Not only is is cheaper, it is practically the only way I can control the calories in my food. Don’t get me wrong, I like to go out to dinner or even better go to someone else’s house for dinner, I just can’t afford to do it that often.
If it were up to Russ and me we would be perfectly happy making one thing and eating it for a couple of days in a row. I have a little sickness that makes it hard for me to make small amounts of food. My attitude is that leftovers taste better than the original meal and it is much faster to just make a little more than make two whole different dishes. I don’t know if Russ came to our marriage this way, but he certainly is a good egg about eating something that is already cooked in the fridge, rather than asking me to make something new.
Sadly our child is completely the opposite of us. She would prefer to eat dinner out every night or if she does eat at home she wants something new and different every night. How did this happen? I am hardly the mother who serves the same seven meals every week; meatloaf on Monday, turkey on Tuesday, spaghetti on Wednesday, baked chicken on Thursday, fish on Friday, burgers on Saturday and lasagna on Sunday. I did not make that menu up, I had a friend growing up named Gail and that is what they had every week. Talk about boring… Of course that was what her mother was able to make.
As creative a cook as I am I am slightly hindered by what Carter likes to eat that is also healthy. If we were a family who did not have to watch our choices it would be easy. I could come up with a different pasta meal for each day of the year, but sadly we need to limit pasta to special occasions. That goes for rice based meals too. Russ used to survive on “rice bowls” in college, long before that was a thing.
All this is being said because most nights I am disappointing my child when she asks,”What’s for dinner?” Not that I try and do it on purpose, but I know that if I had to gain agreement on what to have we would not have very creative meals. I also know that ultimately she is going to like what I make more than she thinks.
Tonight to my great delight when Carter came upstairs for dinner she happily asked in, “Are we having red wine vinegar chicken?” Without consultation I had made something healthy that she loves and happens to be in the mood for it at the same time. Now I did disappoint her on the puréed cauliflower side, but she ate the broccoli. I know we don’t have much more time of having her eating dinner at home, but I hope when she goes to college she realizes how good she has it at home.
Please Pray
Posted: January 15, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentI am not able to fully understand how prayer works, but I also truly believe that it does. I don’t think you can ask to win the lottery, proof is that most all of the people who bought tickets for the billions dollars didn’t win despite many of them certainly prayed to win. I do think that just praying for help does work.
I am asking for you to help by praying for David, Russ’ brother. I can’t go into the details why here, but please just pray for healing. While I am imposing, can you please pray for his wife, Tasha too.
Praying for him won’t win you the lottery, but it will make me eternally grateful, and you may win him the contest he is in.
Cleaning My Office is Like Dieting
Posted: January 14, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
It just couldn’t be avoided any longer. I had to tackle cleaning my office today. I did not have anything else on my calendar that I could use as an excuse to escape my house and pretend that I had not used my office as a dumping site since Thanksgiving.
At the start of the holiday season I shun my responsibilities and just have fun. That means the only mail that gets opened have hand written envelopes, projects that I have spent the previous ten months working on get shelved, or piled as is more likely the case and work, what’s work? As if all that avoidance is not enough, my office then also becomes the gift holding and wrapping center, Christmas craft making site and major menu planning and research area for all things holiday.
Around the first of the year I undecorate the whole rest of the house and that task is so horrible that I take a few days break from organizing because, quite frankly I can close my office door and pretend it is not there. It is kind of akin to wearing sweat pants after the holiday. You don’t really want to face the reality of what the holiday has done to you, or you have done during the holiday.
Well, come to Jesus time it is. I had to start to work on my office. First I knew that mail had to be opened or I might piss off some banks. Before I could open mail I had to find it, “Wow, how did this pile get stuck between the red and green tissue paper?” Then it he to be sorted, opened, (I really could have used an OPEX machine today), most of it got thrown away, then some of it had to be acted on.
Then there was the entering of new addresses from friends who sent cards this year. I did not send cards so I did not need the addresses for this season. Who knows if I will get around to doing a card next year. That might have been an unnecessary job, but I am old enough to think I need everyone’s address.
Then came my least favorite job, filing. I really need to clean out my files, but even if I had more organized files I would not like putting things in them any more. I finally put away the Christmas wrapping supplies. All this work and it hardly looks like I did a thing. There are still piles to be dealt with, bags of old hand bags to go to the goodwill, boxes of 30 year old photos to be, I don’t know what with, buckets of change to be sorted and deposited, hundreds of cook books to be reorganized.
I know I have at least a month’s worth of work in that room, but the thought… I also know that when it is done I will be so happy and will be much better at keeping it organized. My proof is my bedside table that I cleaned out last year is still neat. But cleaning out and keeping it clean need to be like a diet, done faithfully everyday. Somehow my diet is like my office. Overwhelming and a mess. The rest of the house is great, including every closet. Well, not the attic or garage, but really, everything else.
I think if I make a big push to do an hour a day in my office I can take care of business and in the end feel better about my life. Now my diet needs the same discipline. On Valentine’s Day, a month from now let’s see where I am.
Why English Matters
Posted: January 13, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment 
When we were in Charleston we went to dinner at one of the old line fabulous restaurants in downtown with my cousin Mary and her husband Ward. While we had a great meal with superior service I was especially tickled when the waiter brought the dessert menu.
The waiter dropped off the small leather portfolio with the heavy card stock “southern sweets” menu describing six different decadent offerings. From Vanilla Bean Crème Brûlée to pumpkin Pie Tart, each on sounded more delicious and naughty than the next.
I pursued the offerings with all the guilt of a person who need not eat another sweet. Russ offered to order one so I could have a bite, which is code for, his ordering and my eating. I think this is the key to a successful marriage.
What to do, oh what to do, Carrot Cake Trifle or Pecan Pie? Then I look a little harder. The answer to the question was starring me right in the face. No decision needed at all. At the bottom of the dessert descriptions between the Maple Brown Sugar Cake and the Ice Cream and Sorbet, printed in caps, “ALL DESSERTS 8”. As if it were a dream, every single one of those pastry delights, all of them, yes you get one of each for just eight dollars.
That is what it read. “ALL DESSERTS 8”. How could such a fine establishment make such a mistake, and in writing. Am I really the first person to notice and expect them to live up to their own offering? Thank goodness for my restraint. I did not demand “ALL” of them.
Actually I did not even point out to the waiter the terrible error of their ways. Certainly they meant “EACH DESSERT 8.” I was tempted. Tempted enough to take a photo. I guess I am waiting until a day when I feel thin enough to go back and demand all six desserts for eight dollars. I hated to miss my chance, certainly someone else will let them know their mistake.
Salad Perfection
Posted: January 12, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
You know it is harder to make a perfect salad than you think. Getting the right ratio of flavors, contrasting textures and crunch is not that easy. Now a soup, that’s a cinch, you could throw practically anything in a pot and meld it into a happy place. I have almost never made a bad soup and I have put some very weird combinations together, but once I figure out a good salad I just repeat it because changing just one little things can bring harmonic imbalance.
Today, my friend Christy and I discovered perhaps the perfect salad. We went over to visit Nancy at the new Chapel Hill Needlepoint location. She was forced to move, but we are liking the new location because she is in a place that is mostly restaurants. Our plan was to do a little needlepoint and then sample the first of the lunch spots in a long line of choices.
Because both Christy and I are orderly types we started with the restaurant on the end and were planning on working our way down the line. I’m not sure we are going to stick to our plan. Lucia Tigre, the Asian Latin fusion spot we started at might have us so addicted we may never eat any place else. I am officially craving the salad we both got today and I just had it nine hours ago.
It sounded ordinary enough, the “avocado citrus”, mixed greens, mandarin oranges, avocado, tomato, bacon and cheese– add chicken if you want, and we did. There was no mention of this ridiculously perfect cilantro dressing, which I ordered on the side as is my custom. Innocent as the description was, it in no way represented its perfection.
The mandarin oranges were not canned, but perfect small supremes cut from fresh flesh. Just the right number of thin buttery slivers of bright green soft avocado. A small amount of both perfectly crunchy tiny chopped bacon to add just a hint of smoke and a touch of cheese, to not induce guilt, but just tease the palette. Then the chicken, moist and warm with some spice I never lingered over long enough to identify because when the whole thing was put together it was sublime. Oh yeah, and the lime green dressing that Christy announced she could drink, did I tell you about that?
Having that fabulous lunch makes me realize how inferior most other salads are. You can’t just throw a bunch of vegetables on a plate, cut any ole’ way and expect them to make my mouth sing. If Christy and I had not both felt the same way about this superior meal I would not wax on so long. Our only issue now is we are never going to get to try all the restaurants by needlepoint because, at least for me, my mouth is going to water for that one salad. I’m saying that wrong, my mouth is watering now for that salad.
Bulgar Wheat and Veggie Salad
Posted: January 11, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
Thanks to my friends giving me the leftover vegetable trays from a party on Saturday I was able to make a yummy bulgar wheat said with not much chopping for me. The bulgar is fairly low in calories and high in protein so when you add vegetable to stretch it out is is a fairly guilt free carb that is very satisfying. You can use any vegetables you have on hand. This combination of squash, peppers, mushrooms and shallots was really tasty together. It only took a bit to cook and could be served warm or cold.
1 cup dry bulgar wheat
1 t. Knorr chicken broth powder
2 cups of water
3/4 cup yellow squash chopped
3/4 cup of peppers- I used red, yellow and orange
1 shallot, minced
6 large mushrooms sliced
2T. Red wine vinegar
1t. Olive oil
In a sauce pan out the bulgar, chicken broth powder and water, you could use chicken stock if you wanted. Bring to a boil and reduce to simmer and cover while simmering for 15 minutes.
Remove from heat and stir to make sure it is not sticking to the pot.
In a fry pan sprayed with Pam, sautéed the squash and season with salt and pepper. You need only cook it a minute or two depending on how big you have chopped it. Once cooked place in a bowl big enough to hold the whole dish when done. Spray more Pam and add the shallots and cook for 30 seconds, then add the peppers and the mushrooms and continue cooking until they are done, about three minutes. Salt and pepper when done. Put those vegetables In the bowl with the squash and add the cooked bulgar and the oil and vinegar.
Enjoy!
My Friends Are My Child’s Friends’ Mothers
Posted: January 10, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
I had a surprise today, a visit with my old friend Leigh. I first met Leigh when her daughter Stokes was in the same pre-k class as Carter. Together Carter, Stokes and their friend Campbell would demand a three way play date. Happily their friendship precipitated my friendship with their mothers’ Hannah and Leigh.
With the names, Carter, Campbell and Stokes, I used to call them “a friendship, not a law firm.” Certainly when we first got the class list it was hard to tell how many boys and how many girls were in the class when so many people use last names as first these days. In those early years of sitting in the pre-school great room waiting for kids to be dismissed it really helped if your child picked friends who had parents you also liked. Not that there were many parents I did not like, but since our girls were our first children to go to this school were all kind of in the same place at the same time.
Shared experiences make up a lot of friendship in those early school years, for both mothers and children. And now thanks to the shared need to look at colleges we got a chance to see each other today. Even though Leigh moved first to California and then to Atlanta years ago, we can pick up right where we left off as if we have been sitting in the great room awaiting our girls to run out to us.
I am wondering when our children go off to college where the next gathering place to make friends will be? I just don’t tend to “be” anyplace, with nothing to do, long enough to make friends with people who are sharing an experience with me. Of course the retirement home is the end spot to make friends, but that is a long way off.
When I think about groups of people I am friends with, be it at Mah Jongg or at the stitching table at needlepoint, church, or garden club, but most of my friends have come through children. It has been easier to recognize someone who I might like by the way their children act than any other way. At Mah Jongg you might be a good player, which is good, but you don’t have to have a good sense of humor to play the game, which, to me, is not good in any situation. But if my child likes your child than chances are I am going to like you.
Thank goodness Carter liked Campbell and Stokes because it brought me Hannah and Leigh. Even though Leigh is not here most of the time we can pick right back up as if she has been. Our time with our children at home is coming to an end fast, but at least we still have our friends. Our time to make friends with our children’s friends parents is ending fast. I don’t think the same thing works with grandchildren, not that I am looking for those anytime soon.
At Last Parents of Alumni Happened
Posted: January 9, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentAfter a first event of the year was canceled due to horrific rains in October, tonight we finally got the Durham Academy Parents of Alumni together for a cocktail party before the In The Pocket Concert. It was a nice turn out of parents whose kids have graduated in the last five years or so. The concert was a big draw since it is the performance when Alumni who are available come back and play with this year’s band.
I am not a parent of an Alum, yet, but I am the person who is on parent’s council who runs the Parents of Alumni. I do this for purely selfish reasons. In a year and a half I will no longer have any official role at Durham Academy. Although I have a child who is so ready to graduate and move on to the next place in life, I am not going anywhere. At the time when I will have the most time I will be losing the place where I spent a lot of my time for the last fifteen years. So for all that I am trying to get the Parents of Alumni off the ground.
If you fall into this category and missed the party tonight, you also missed the announcement of the first POA one night book club. Beloved upper school teacher Jeff Beirsach has agreed to hold a one night only class of Edith Wharton’s The House of Mirth. The event will take place on the evening of February 24, and is open to the first 25 people who sign up. Seven or eight spots were taken at the party tonight. The announcement is going public on the POA Facebook site Monday or Tuesday, so if you want to join, and meet the criteria of POA member, meaning you had a child graduate from DA, send me a message and request a spot.
You have about six weeks to read the book. Please plan on actually reading the book if you sign up. Jeff is a tough teacher and I would hate for him to have to send your child a bad report on how poorly prepared you were for book club. All kidding aside, it should be a fun night and I will make snacks.
I have to give a big shout out to Kay, Shelayne, & Theky who helped with the party tonight and to Martha and Sara for providing wine and food. Anyone else who want to help with POA let me know. The more the merrier at this point. Any Amy I’ve got you on the list.
Surprisingly Good Meal at HVCC
Posted: January 8, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentOne of the worst things about being a good cook is that it is nothing for me to throw together a good meal. Russ always says the best food anywhere is in our refrigerator so why should we eat any place other than home. That is a nice compliment, but sometimes it just gets tiring to do all the cooking. This time of year, meaning one week into the diet season, I do start to get a little stir crazy from eating healthy food.
Yes, it is only a week in since I was eating “holiday food” and that is the problem, my mouth still remembers how good bread tasted. I may have broken the hold sugar had on me through the month of December, but somehow I never quite lose my taste for melted cheese. Going out so soon into the “diet season” can be dangerous.
Since Carter is away for the weekend at the mountains on her basketball team retreat and Russ has had a very hard week with his brother and I went to a funeral today it seemed like the perfect night to just go out to dinner. I wasn’t angling for a big night out when I texted Russ to tell him what the options in the fridge were for dinner, but I was happy not to have to cook tonight.
“Why don’t we just go to the club?” was his text.
Since we live two minutes from our neighborhood club and we needed to use our monthly minimum, I agreed. Usually dinner at the club is not as good as dinner at our house, but then again, I don’t have to shop for it, cook it or clean up after it. That, and it is fun to see friends. Friends are the reason to belong to the club, not the food.
As I was looking at the menu I noticed a number of healthy options that sounded good. I needed to stay away from cheese but I wanted something more than a green salad with chicken. I decided to get something new and went with the squash and bulgar wheat salad with some grilled salmon on top.
I am sorry to say I did not get a picture of my plate. See, I never thought that something I ate at the club would warrant mentioning in this blog. But tonight I was pleasantly surprised by how yummy my dinner was. When the chef came around to our table I practically gushed about how good my dinner was. Of course I had to tell him exactly what I had since there was no evidence of my dinner left on the plate.
It has been a long time since I had such a nice meal at the club. Russ enjoyed his dinner too, especially the baked oysters. The service was excellent, and the food even came out fairly promptly, even though the place was full. I am happy to report such good news. I am also thrilled that Russ did not walk away saying, “Why do we go out, your food is so much better?”
I may be able to cook a great meal, but sometime I just like to be served and not be disappointed. I am doubly excited that I was able to get something tasty that I do not regret eating. Good job Hope Valley.
Thankful
Posted: January 7, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentI am thankful for all the prayers you have prayed for David Lange and our family. He has had a good day with his new heart — Got his breathing tube removed and started the first day of rehab.
I am thankful for all the well trained and kind medical people who made this whole thing happen.
I am thankful that Russ just happened to be in Philadelphia to help his family and share in the burden of waiting and supporting each other.
I am thankful for the donor and his family and their generosity during their time of sorrow.
I am thankful for all the kind words of support I received from friends and blog readers.
I am thankful that I don’t have such blog fodder everyday, or every month or even every year. I appreciate those who said yesterday’s blog was my best writing yet and I hope never to have anything ever again like that to write about.
I am thankful for my health and the health the rest of the family enjoys and I promise not to take any of it for granted.
I am thankful lunch with friends and a good walk in the cold air today to make life “normal.”
I am thankful that Carter had her best scoring basketball game ever on Varsity to make the day anything but normal.
I am thankful that I feel God smiling.
A Thank You Note To My Brother-in-Laws Heart Donor
Posted: January 6, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 10 Comments
Dear Man who signed up for organ donation when you were alive and well,
Thank you for that selfless act. I am sorry for your family who must still be grieving at your loss yesterday. I am praying for your family today. You have no idea that the heart you left in this world, when you went on to the next, just went into the body of my husband Russ’ brother David.
Your generosity is the best hope we have that David, a young 48 year old husband and father of three, has a chance to live a fuller life. Last February David, a cop, had a massive heart attack while doing hand-to-hand combat training. Because of a good detective friend who was there, David survived that heart attack. Unfortunately, it was very severe and he has been unable to work or do much of anything, while trying to gain back his heart function.
In December, after doing everything possible, David was put on the heart transplant list. Scary as that is, it was the best hope for David to live the full life he has. You should know that your heart will be going to a good home. Tascha, David’s fabulous wife, who has tenderly cared for him all these months so he could get well, will love your heart and keep it healthy for a long time.
David’s three children will have a chance to have the father that loves to play with them, back in full force. Marty, David’s father can sleep a little more soundly now that he knows your heart is beating in his son. Russ and his sister Nancy can worry less about their brother.
I know it had to be a shock to your heart to go from your body to David’s. We are all thankful for the many Doctors, Nurses, Social Workers, Transplant Coordinators, Drivers, Aids and anyone else who worked so hard to bring your heart from you to David and keep it working well.
It is a long road ahead for David to recover from the change from his old broken heart to your healthy heart. It won’t be easy, but I promise you that many people will be looking out for him and do everything possible to honor the sacrifice you made by giving your heart away.
Your life may have ended, and for that we are sad, but you have given life to a person who has been a community helper for over twenty years. Please know that although we do not know you, we love you and are eternally thankful. Bless you, you did great good by being an organ donor.
My Favorite Gown
Posted: January 6, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
Tonight at a basketball game I ran into my friend Kemi, who for the record, I don’t get to see enough. She said, “You looked nice the other night in your gown.” This coming from one of the most beautiful people on earth was a nice compliment, but I must have made such a face when she said it. See, most nights I am in my nightgown as early as I can be and I was fairly certain that Kemi had not seen me in my flannel.
I really had to rack my brain what she was talking about and then I realized I had seen her at the Deb ball where I was required to wear a gown while directing photographs, and not the night kind. If it were up to me I would spend most of my life in my night gown. I guess it could be up to me and I could become some kind of recluse, but I am afraid my extrovert needs would fight that from happening.
Girls boarding school was the perfect answer for a girl who likes to wear her night gown and be with friends at the same time. When I was at Ethel Walkers Lanz flannel nightgowns were the sleep wear of choice. I remember one night when we had a fire drill or perhaps an actual fire, which ever, all the inhabitants of Bever Brook dorm (yes, that is a very poor choice of names for a girl’s dormitory, that also happened to be on the corner of Bushy Hill and Climax roads- I promise I could not make this stuff up.) anyway, someone took a picture of us standing outside the dorm in our sleepwear. It could have been an ad for Lanz since every girl was swathed in flannel for as far as the eye could see.
Somehow I have never grown out of my love for a toasty warm flannel Lanz night gown. Although living in North Carolina means there are very few nights when it is actually cold enough to need it. I have never been able to make the change to PJ’s, which are much more popular now. My PJ wearing friends say they can’t wear night gowns because they get tangled up inside them. That is how I feel about wearing pants to bed. I guess I just don’t toss and turn that much in my sleep because my night gown is rarely twisted around me when I wake up.
Now that I have to wear reading glasses all the time I feel like I look like the grandmother in little red riding hood in my nightgown. I guess if I wore a white cotton cap to bed that would really seal the deal. Poor Russ, Lanz flannel is just nobody’s fantasy. For now I think he should be glad I am not wearing the little white bonnet. Who knew my sleep wear could get worse.
Back To The List
Posted: January 3, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
I love Christmas. I use the whole holiday season as an excuse to abandon my master to do list. Not that I don’t have an extra busy holiday list, but there is no way to do Christmas and worrying about cleaning out the garage at the same time. Christmas is the best excuse ever.
Since today all of Christmas stuff moved up to the attic with the exception of one small pile of things I need to buy a new storage box for, I guess it’s time to get back to my regular list of things to get done. Actually now I have to add buying that hinged top box to the list.
I like lists. I am married to someone who likes lists. I am just too old to remember everything I need or want to do without a list. If I don’t put things on my calendar nothing would get done. If I forget to look at my calendar I almost certainly will miss something important I was supposed to do. I did not used to be like this, it is certainly a symptom of aging.
Currently I have a lot of things on my list that are carry overs from last year’s list. You know that means I really don’t want to do them, but feel like I should. Or they are things that other people have asked me to do and I said I would put them on the list. That may mean I am never going to do them.
My dream would be for my to do list to be full of all fun things I want to do and nothing that makes me feel bad about the fact that I am not doing it. I know this seems like an impossible feat since to do lists are really mostly chores. But most chores don’t even go on my list. I know I need to do laundry every couple of days. I don’t need that on the list. Garbage has to go out Monday nights. I don’t need that on a list, especially if Russ is home. I also don’t put working out on my list since I have to do it everyday.
In order to clear out my to do list I could spend the next month or two doing nothing but all the horrible jobs I have on the list and see if I could clear them out for good, or at least until I messed the garage up again. I love this idea, but then I have some time sensitive things that need to be worked on, like planning the spring break college visit route or writing my next Durham Magazine column.
I guess it is unrealistic to think that I could have nothing but fun on my calendar to look forward to, but boy it seems like the right goal to work towards. For now I am going to just keep praying that no one asks me to do any horrible chore so maybe I can make some headway. If you don’t hear from me for a while it is because I am cleaning out the attic — the one thing that has been on my to do list for the last twenty years. The only problem with that job is I know I will run across so many old things that will add to my list. There is no way to win this game.
Un-decorating Depression
Posted: January 2, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
Sadly today I removed all the sparkle and glitter of Christmas from the house. If truth be told I started yesterday with all the non-tree house decorations and finished today with the tree. If truth really be told, I am not done with the tree yet, just all the ornaments off the tree.
This year before Christmas I gave my mother an artificial tree because I knew she would enjoy having a tree up without an of the annoying upkeep – watering and sweeping up fallen needles, a real tree requires. One of the huge benefits of a fake tree is it looks as nice on day 30 as it did on day one. My father so enjoyed the glow from the tree he asked my mother if they could just keep it up all year.
I’m with my dad. I love the light from the strings of small bulbs on the tree. Of course, with the 12,000 or so lights I have on my tree it is more like a beacon. But in the dark and dreary days of winter the lights ward off seasonal disorder. Not only does the house look bare and boring without the Christmas decorations filling every available space, but even the newly decorated rooms feel unfinished.
It hardly seems right to do all the un-decorating at the same time I am detoxing from Christmas sugar and flour overload. It’s like a one-two punch. I should have planned my timing better and either stated my removal of sugar from my system earlier or waited until I was in full-blown diet euphoria after losing the first five pounds to take the decorations down.
I wish that decoration putting away was more exercise then at least I would feel some sort of accomplishment from that. Sadly, going up the ladder to get the ornaments at the top of the tree hardly counts as many steps now that I use a basket to gather them in before descending to pack them in the plastic hinged-top crates.
The worst part of the job is the divorce inducing breaking apart of the fourteen foot tree. That job will wait until tomorrow when Russ and Carter will both swear they hate Christmas because it is so hard to pull the sections apart and stuff them into obese body sized bags and take them up to the attic.
Since they complain so much about this job I don’t dare ask them to help me do any of the decorating or un-decorating, since if it were up to them they say they would skip decorating all together. They say this, but I know they secretly enjoy the house in the shinny and glittery state. They just know not tell me how much they like it.
So hello to winter doldrums — The only good news is today was the first day without rain in Durham in quite a long time. Of course all that rain has put us squarely in the mud season. Only eleven more months until I can put the tree back up. I can hardly wait.
The Seasons of My Year
Posted: January 1, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentHappy 2016! I know the idea of resolutions is popular. I tend to have wishes rather than hard core resolutions. You can fall off a resolution wagon fairly fast, but a wish is something you can keep having. One of my wishes this year is practically the same wish I have every year–To be a healthy weight. I probably make this wish on New Years because of the way my year is divided up into seasons.
I don’t really have meteorological seasons, but eating seasons. Today is the first day of “hard core healthy eating, nose to the grind stone watching my weight season.” I know I am not alone in this season. This week is the number one week for Weight Watcher new member joining and health club sign ups.
The reason this season even exists is that I have just left the “eating season” – You know the time between Thanksgiving and New Years. For some people it starts at Halloween, but I was able to hold it off this year until the crack pie came to town. This year’s “eating season” was more out of control that unusual because I stopped getting on the scale. That is never a good idea. I know that getting on the scale helps remind me not to let too loose during the eating season, but the mere act of putting sugar in my system makes me do crazy things.
The first few days of “healthy eating season” starts with the detox from sugar days. These are not pretty, but thoroughly necessary if I am to get back in the lower numbers. After the crazy getting off sugar ends then comes the jubilation from dropping five pounds fast.
The “hard core diet season” usually lasts about six weeks then the “boredom with healthy food season” starts. This is the worst time of year for fresh fruits and vegetables. My only way to push through this time is to make a big list of healthy foods I like to eat and make lots of different dishes with varying flavor profiles. I don’t know why I need to be reminded that I really like cabbage and have no need for chocolate at this time of year, maybe the Easter bunny has something to do with it.
Spring brings the “outdoor workout season” that adds a new layer to the diet season. And just as I get myself back to where I want to be “vacation eating season” comes along to throw me off track. Of course I feel like I have been so deprived for six months since my last eating season so I give myself a little leeway.
Then I have that one last push of “back to school healthy eating season” in fear of what will happen when the eating season comes back around again. This year I really should have had more fear, or did my best to skip the eating season.
I wish I could have a year divided up into winter, spring, summer and fall, but that is not the way I am wired. I really I wish that I could skip the “eating season” and just eat healthy all the time. That would mean I had gotten a lot smarter. Next year I guess I should add brains to my New Years wish list. I could switch to resolutions and resolve to use the brain I have, but that seems like asking a lot at my age.
New Year’s Eve is Not My Holiday
Posted: December 31, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentI’m not a big New Year’s Eve gal. The calendar changing from one day to the next is no different tonight as the next night or the one after that. I want everyday to be a big celebration as well as a time to reflect on how things are going.
For this “normal” day I had a special treat to start it off, our long time friend, and special member of our family as our babysitter for many years, Megan Ketch came for breakfast. Megan spent five years with us while she was in high school and college studying theatre. We knew she was going places when she left us for the big city of New York and since has gone on to a successful acting career. She is currently in Jane the Virgin on the CW and has just been cast as a lead in a CBS hour long drama American Gothic, a series starting this summer. Having Megan around makes us all happy. That was my the celebration part of my day.
After our visit I went to do my good deed of the day. Chapel Hill Needlepoint is moving locations. Due to issues beyond her control Nancy, the owner, got the joy of moving everything in the store today, which is right at the start of her big annual sale. Today a few loyal friends came to help unpack and hang up fibers. The new location is a little farther for me to get to, but it has a lot of perks. It is on Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd right by the Root Cellar, where the old Foster’s used to be and just beside Fly Leaf Books. The stitching table still be there and now we have places to get lunch.
I came home in time to get to see Carter for a few moments before she was off to spend New Years with a friend. When you are young, you feel compelled to make something over the New Year. When you are my age you are just happy you have a new year.
I got to think back about the good and the bad in this year. I lost my dear Uncle Wilson, my father’s only brother this year. He was important to me because he was always there and now that he is not I have to keep him alive in my heart. Russ’ brother David has had a tough year with a bad heart attack and now we are awaiting a new heart for him. The good is that he is still here.
Thinking about these things puts any other issues in perspective. How much weight I have gained during “the eating season” seems trivial, especially since tomorrow brings “the diet season.” I am a little calmer about the college search for Carter. I know that the next twelve months will be stressful for her, so I need to keep in mind not to add to her stress and just be supportive. That is going to be something I have to work hard on all year.
Russ too has worked hard all year and I need to keep things going at home so he is free to work on his company. Helping him with his burdens will be my role. I am lucky that the rest of my family is well and I count my blessing that I have my parents, my dear friends and meaningful work. I’m not really taking stock here at year end, just trying to be mindful everyday of what is good, what I have control of and what is worth ignoring.
I hope that you have more good days than bad in the next year and that laughter fills more hours.
The World Is Small
Posted: December 30, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentLast night in Charleston Russ took Carter and me to a small Lebanese restaurant for dinner. As we were sitting at our table a family of four was seated next to us. Actually, I really did not pay that close attention to them because by the time they sat down I was trying to dissect exactly what was in the spicy hummus with fava beans we were thoroughly enjoying. After a few moments the mother leaned over and politely asked Carter if she was a CIT from camp Cheerio.
After Carter quickly responded, “Yes,” the daughter leaned forward saying she knew it was her. Turns out she had been one of Carter’s campers. The mother had nothing but the nicest things to say about Carter as her daughter’s CIT, “you are famous!” What she was famous for I do not know, but it was a small world.
Today, I had to get up early to leave Russ and Carter so I could drive back to Durham to do my job as photography chair at the Deb ball tonight. Carter had a very early final basketball game. It was a game I was sorry to miss as I got the play by play via text. One player broke her nose and on the good news front Carter actually scored. The team won the game in overtime by two points. Maybe it was best I was not there, since I’m not sure my heart could have taken it.
On a high from a winning game, and since it was over by eleven in the morning, Russ and Carter went to visit Middleton Place, a wonderful southern plantation. After spending time visiting all the animals in the exhibits Russ and Carter went to go have lunch in the restaurant. A women they did not know approached them and introduced herself as Priscilla Goodwin from Virginia. “Are you Russ and Carter Lange? You don’t know me but I read your wife’s blog and I read you were in Charleston for the tournament, have fun.”
I don’t think I know Priscilla, but what are the chances that someone who reads this blog and does not know us runs into Russ and Carter in a place none of us lives and recognizes them from pictures? Priscilla if you are reading this now, let me know how you started reading the blog in the first place. I would love to make the full circle on this small world story.
So from basketball, to plantations to debutants it has been a busy day. You never know who is around the next corner, but chances are you have some connection to them, if you can just figure it out.
What Are You Going To Remember?
Posted: December 29, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentMy college gang of friends used to have a challenge saying we used with each other when we wanted to encourage a friend to do something fun, rather than what they probably should be doing. “What are you going to remember?” I would taunt a friend who I wanted to go on a road trip with me.
It was certainly true as I look back all these years later. I remember well the “tinsal” (our slang for tinsel) we draped around ourselves for a Christmas party. Do I remember taking finals that semester, no. In fact I can’t even remember what classes I took.
The things in life that are most memorable are not the everyday, but the specials days, especially trips. Today was the second day of playing in this basketball tournament for Carter here in Charleston. For the most part we are going to forget the basketball playing, but the time we got to spend as a family seeing new things and meeting interesting people is “what we are going to remember.”
This afternoon after all the bball was over and the showers were taken Russ, Carter and I ventured back to historic Charleston to walk the streets looking at the gorgeous houses and learning the history. While Russ was searching for parking Carter and I walked through a three hundred year old cemetery until we were told it was closing. I did not know cemeteries ever closed.
Since we were still waiting for Russ we crossed the street where Carter struck up a conversation with a lovely Gullah woman selling her Sweetgrass baskets. If you are unfamiliar with the coiled baskets you might be surprised at how costly the oldest African crafts brought by West African slaves to South Carolina are.
Laurie Bonneau introduced herself to Carter and answered her many questions about making Sweetgrass baskets. In an age of the same mass produced crap that is sold all over the world it was delightful to see something so distinctively tied to this place.
Laurie showed Carter exactly which strands in the basket were grass, bullrush, pine needles or Palmetto fronds. Suddenly that high price for the small basket was understandable. She showed her a piece made by an unnamed relative she might be married to and how it was not quite as fine as one she had made. After all she had been making baskets since she was seven, she should be good at it.
Laurie had one show stopper of a basket that she took off the fence to let Carter see that had a $5,000 price tag. “How long did it take for you to make this?” Carter asked. The answer of four months makes that $5,000 seem small. Sadly we did not buy any baskets today, but Laurie could not have been nicer.
Russ eventually appeared and we bid our basket teacher goodbye and went off in search of the most beautiful house in Charleston. We certainly did not come to a conclusion because at almost every corner we turned we saw a new favorite house. We did agree that we really liked the houses in the alleys as opposed to the ones on the big important streets because of the privacy the alleys seemed to have.
Towards the end of our walking tour we window shopped at a gallery we all agreed was a favorite, a place to commission a portrait of your dog or horse, or just buy a painting of some random cute dog. The perfect art.
I am fairly certain that Carter will always remember learning about Gullah Sweetgrass baskets from Laurie and not the score of her basketball game, which I have already forgotten.
It’s All About The People
Posted: December 28, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentThe very best reason for me to come on this basketball trip should be to act as parent support for my player. Truth be told the best reason is to get to spend time with my family. I don’t think that Russ, Carter and I would have had this much togetherness if we had been home and it has been a pleasure.
It has not just been our nuclear family, but the real bonus is that the tournament is in Charleston, so tonight we got to have dinner with my cousin Mary and her husband Ward who live here. Even though Mary and I are second cousins we are more like sisters who don’t get to see each other much, but actually like each other. Mary’s grandmother and my grandmother were two of six sisters in a crazy Michie branch of our family and our husbands are part of the support group, “people married to people with Michie DNA.” We never have enough time together so tonight was extra fun. After we drove away from a yummy dinner Carter said, “We don’t get to see them enough.” I agree.
I have also had a lot of togetherness with our basketball family and that has been fun too. I am particularly grateful for such a nice group of girls on the team and their equally delightful parents. There is very little drama with this group and that is such a rarity these days.
Our game today did not exactly go as planned. We are here for a basketball tournament after all. But that is not stopping us from having a good time. There is a game tomorrow to make up for today.
Before the game today we all went to downtown Charleston together and did a little shopping in the market before grabbing lunch. We are certainly not the only tourists in Charleston. As Carter and I were getting out of our car on Church street I saw Woody Allen and his stepdaughter/wife Soon-Yi walking down the street. Carter was could not believe I recognized him so quickly and got a picture. You just never know who you are going to see when you are on a basketball trip.
We may have come here for a sport, but like most things I am here for the people. How the games go is not the most important thing, but the memories we are making from the fun we are having is the thing I will remember.
Basketball Logistics
Posted: December 27, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment 
I woke up this morning to the news report, “Today is the busiest travel day of the year. More than Thanksgiving, with Christmas on a Friday, making it a long weekend, for most returning home today to get back to work on Monday.” This news would make little difference to me normally since don’t travel for Christmas, but unfortunately today we did have to travel.
Carter and her basketball team have a big tournament in Charleston, SC starting tomorrow which meant that today was the travel day. Now as far as places to have to go as a parent support system, Charleston sounds lovely. The only problem is to get here from Durham involves some interaction with I-95 and for an unknown reason to me, it is still just two lanes each direction in North Carolina.
I can give a first hand account for the accuracy of the news. Today was the biggest travel day of the year. The trip, which should have taken four hours and twenty-nine minutes, according to google maps took over six hours and that was with minimal stops. The things that made no sense to us were the cars from Illinois, or California that were heading south. Where were those people coming from or going to? Now the New Jersey or Connecticut cars I could see might be going to Florida and certainly the South Carolina cars were heading home from visiting relatives in more northern states, but the random Wyoming people, what the hell, stay out west we have no room for you on I -95 today.
The speed on the highway was a good twenty to thirty miles slower than it should have been. The worst drivers were the Ontario Canada cars (sorry Stuart) who changed lanes with no signals with hardly enough room to butt in.
Amazingly the whole team showed up at the restaurant we were having family dinner at at the right time. Many of us skipped checking in the hotel until after dinner so we would be on time, but that was no big deal. After dinner the waiters could not figure out how to split the check up so we just paid the whole thing and will figure it out tomorrow. After the terrible day of driving there was no reason to make everyone sit any more than necessary.
Now we are tucked in at our hotel. Apparently there are 80 teams playing in this tournament and at least one of them is having a party outside our room, by the pool. I can see this is going to be a very relaxing few days. For now I am praying for good playing.
Pink Peppermint Stick Ice Cream for Christmas- or Afterwards
Posted: December 26, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
Years go I got one of those Cuisineart Ice Cream Machines that uses a frozen container that spins in the machine to make ice cream. The instructions were always poor and I put the machine in the appliance storage area, to rarely be used. Of course there is a good reason not to have an ice cream machine near by, but Christmas and the season of breaking your diet is the only time it might come out.
For this Christmas I decided I would try one more time to make ice cream with the machine and if it did not turn out I could make something else. My father always liked peppermint stick ice cream with chocolate sauce from a restaurant called the Rice Patty in Georgetown, SC, so I attempted to recreate that.
Since I have never had any luck with the recipes that came with the machine I read number of recipes online and made a mashup of various ones. Carter declared it was the best ice cream ever.
1 cup milk
2 cups heavy cream
2 eggs
1/3 cup of sugar
1 small package of sugar free instant vanilla pudding (the real secret)
1/3 cup of crushed up candy canes
Good splash of peppermint extract
Pinch of salt
In a kitchen aid stand mixer put the milk, cream, eggs and sugar and whisk on medium high until it gets a little thicker.
Add the vanilla pudding mix and beat again for 20 seconds.
Add the peppermint candy and extract and salt and mix again.
Pour the mixture into a container with a lid and chill for at least four hours, but overnight is better.
Make sure the freezer bowl section of the ice cram maker has been in the freezer for at least six hours. Pour the ice cream liquid into it and place the blade in and put in the ice cream machine. Let spin for at least 20 minutes or until the it is frozen.
Remove the ice cream into a container and put in the freezer to finish hardening up. The best thing about it is that the pudding keeps it from getting too hard.
Serve with fudge sauce and crushed peppermint stick on top.
Christmas Come and Gone
Posted: December 25, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
As a kid riding in the car with my mother, stuck behind the trash collectors driving up Ridgefield Road, she used to say, “They are slow as Christmas.” It took me a while to understand that what she was describing was how slow it feels for Christmas morning to come. I should have gotten that as a child because waiting to see if Santa came felt like an eternity. Those last few days in school before Christmas break dragged on and on, but then December 22, 23 and 24 were days with 36, 48 and 56 hours long each.
Sadly, now Christmas comes in a blink. There is hardly enough time to get everything done. I only bought one gift before November, but that was something meaningful from Italy for my sister Janet. This year I paid Carter to wrap all the presents that were not for her and even then I was still up working late last night. Russ jumped in to help me this morning with the preparations of the Christmas feast while Carter was still asleep and before my family arrived for the one day all year we are together. Thank goodness for his precision carrot peeling skills we actually got everything ready on time.
Around noon two cars full of Carters laden down with wrapped gifts arrived, making multiple trips carrying things into the house. Then the gift giving began. We had said this was going to be a smaller Christmas, but still the opening takes time to ohh and ahh at each sweet gift. Not having wrapped my own gifts made each one a surprise to me as well as to the receiver.
All through the opening I kept getting up to finish up cooking the lamb, or preparing the popovers, or cooking the green beans. After the presents were done we sat down at the dining room table to have the Christmas meal. All the food was done at the right time and my major job for the day was done.
After dessert Mom, Dad and Margaret went back to the farm, while Janet and Sophie stayed for a longer visit. Since this is the one day all year we know we will see them we tried to drag out the visit as long as possible. Then, the time came that they too had to go. This meant Christmas was officially over.
Despondently, we washed the dishes, sad that Christmas had come and gone. Carter went up to the tree to clean up the bags of paper and called out, “Oh no, an unopened gift for Janet.” It was the special mug from Bar Bruno in Positano I had carried back from Italy. Bar Bruno was the bar she hung out at as an nine year old. I had envisioned the whole family laughing about Bar Bruno when she opened that gift. But now Christmas has come and gone and I messed up big. I waited since March to give this gift, but my old memory just couldn’t remember it all these months, even as fast as Christmas comes to me now. I guess I am just going to have to drive this gift up to the farm tomorrow before Janet leaves…Christmas is not gone yet.
The Reason for The Season
Posted: December 24, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentAll the decorating, present buying, cooking, wrapping, celebrating pales in comparison to the real reason for the season. Hoping you and yours are having a Merry Christmas Eve.
No Christmas Card From Us This Year
Posted: December 23, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
As much as I love Christmas and all things celebrating the season I just could not pull it together this year to create and mail a Christmas card. I write a daily blog, isn’t everyone getting enough of the minutiae of our family’s daily life that they don’t need a physical card from us? Granted not everyone I would send a card to reads my blog, or even knows of its existence. But then I also post things on Facebook. How much more should people have to endure?
I love getting cards from friends far and wide, even those from people I see regularly or read about on Facebook. I feel closer to some acquaintances because of seeing or reading online what they are doing daily. But not everyone is so connected. Those are the people I love getting a card from to see how grown up their children are, or which sibling favors which parent, or who has a new grandchild.
In the years before the Internet took over our lives I used to run to the mailbox this time of year and could hardly wait to get in the door to open all the cards. Now it is not such a huge rush. A couple times this month the cards sat unopened on my desk for a day or two, until I knew I had a few minutes to realy enjoy each card and not just tear them open and put them in the card bowl by the front door.
I have seen more than a few messages on Facebook from other busy friends who said their card was coming at Valentines or not at all. I don’t need a card from a friend to remember them or think kindly on them. I hope my friends feel the same way.
Merry Christmas to all our friends who celebrate it and Happy Holidays to the rest of you. I hope that 2016 is your best year ever. I am not promising a card for President’s Day or an Easter greeting. I’ll just try and do better next year.
All I Want For Christmas…
Posted: December 22, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
World peace, a world without hunger, satisfying employment for all, no human or animal suffering, all these things would be great and if I were a really good person or competing in Miss America this is what I would wish for. But I am no Miss nor that nice. So all I want is for our f..ing cable to work right.
I know this is a selfish, first world problem, but really it does not seem like I am asking so much. When I redid the gathering room I removed our twenty year old – forty inch – five hundred pound TV and replaced it with an up-to-date flat screen. Of course new TV’s are different shapes than the antique ones so I had to change where it was placed. That meant moving the cable, blah, blah, blah such a boring job. Eventually I got it all hooked up and went to the cable company and got a new whole house dv-tvr to power the new TV.
I plugged in the new cable box and got all the channels. Hooray! I thought I was done, but no. There was nothing whole house about it. None of the shows I recorded on the other cable boxes were showing up on the new box. Not such a big deal, but really I wanted it to work. I unhooked the box and took it back only to be told that the box was fine and I needed to reboot everything.
I went home and unplugged and replugged everything in the whole house. That did not solve a thing. At that point I implored Russ to get involved because if I were to call the cable company I might say something that would have them fire me as a client, and maybe call the police on me.
Today the repairman came. He first discovered that we never were signed up for an additional whole house dv-tvr so It was not my fault it was not working. He got the central office to fix that and still it was not fixed. He changed amplifiers, cable boxes, rebooted and rerebooted again, and at last the three TV’s were all talking to each other. Problem solved, and the tech ran out because he was late for his next appointment.
I went to turn on a TV that had been working fine before and half the channels did not come in! WHAT!!!!!! I rebooted…nothing. I called back to the cable company, they rebooted from the central station, nothing. By then dispatch was closed and I could not get the tech back until seven AM tomorrow. What a f…ing pain in the ass. The world has gotten just too complicated and five times as frustrating. I would much rather be spending my Christmas working towards world peace or ending all human suffering. I feel like I have a lot better chance at solving that than I do getting all the cable to work in my house at the same time.
Chinese Auction Shrimp Salad
Posted: December 21, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentFor my annual Chinese Auction I made this big ass cabbage and raw veggie salad with shrimp and a cilantro lime dressing. I forgot to take a picture of it, but it is a beautiful salad with lots of different colors. You can certainly imagine it. I am not going to put amounts of anything since I made this for a crowd, you can certainly figure out how much you need per person
Finley shredded Napa Cabbage
Shredded Red cabbage
Green onions – chopped
Carrots – julienned
Jicama- julienned
Red, yellow and orange peppers – chopped
Avocado- diced
Mung bean sprouts
Snow peas- julienned
Cooked, peeled shrimp
Cilantro- chopped
Peanuts – chopped
Cilantro Lime Dressing
1/3 cup fresh squeezed lime juice
1/4 cup rice vinegar
2 cloves of garlic
1 chipotle chili from the can in adobo sauce
2 T. Honey
2/3 c. Olive oil
2 big handfuls of cleaned cilantro leaves
Salt and pepper
Put the juice, vinegar, garlic, chili and honey in a blender and run on high for fifteen seconds. Take the center out of the top and turn the blender on high and stream in the oil slowly so it can thicken up. It should take about a minute to get all the oil in and well blended. Turn the machine off and add the cilantro and just pulse it a couple times. Taste and add salt and pepper as needed.
Mix up all veggies and toss with the shrimp and dressing as needed. Sprinkle cilantro and peanuts on top to garnish.
Where It All Began
Posted: December 20, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
For our last day visiting Russ’ father we had to eat at his favorite diner for breakfast. Carter, growing up in North Carolina, is woefully ignorant of diner culture. Russ’ dad is quite the regular at Warminster West to the point that his regular waitress flashed her new diamond ring at him to let him know she was engaged at last. Since it was the Sunday morning rush we did not get a chance to meet her, but Carter did get an idea of what the population of Bucks county is like.
After breakfast we said our goodbyes and went off to explore the place that Russ and I first started our marriage and show it all again to Carter, who said she could not remember the last visit. We crossed the bridge leaving Pennsylvania and made our way into south Jersey. People tend to make fun of Jersey, but Carter thought Palmyra, the little town that Russ and I first lived in was much nicer than North Philly,where we had to drive through to get there. On that point I can not disagree with her.
After driving Carter past our little four square craftsman’s house we drove her to a much nicer house we had considered buying. It was a shingle style on the golf course and I am so thankful we did not buy it because if we had we probably would not have left New Jersey as fast as we did. Carter said she was glad never bought that nicer house. She had a new found appreciation for all things Durham after seeing New Jersey.
We had a few more minutes so we decided to go see the company where Russ and I met and fell in love. I was thankful it was a Sunday so we could take pictures out front without having to explain to anyone who we were and why we were there. We pulled up to OPEX world headquarters, center of the mail opening and extracting world and got out. Russ and I showed Carter the window of the demo room where Russ first saw me demonstrating the system 100, the engineering aphrodisiac- love at first sight. In the end Carter said OPEX was good because she would not exist without it.
I too am thankful for OPEX because without it I never would have met Russ. The New Jersey years were something I am glad were in the beginning because they have made me appreciative of everything since then. Mostly, I am so glad that we live in Durham and that Carter, who has never lived any place else, understands why we live here.
Happy 75th Birthday Icepa
Posted: December 19, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
Yesterday we flew up to Philly to celebrate Russ’ father’s seventy-fifth birthday which was actually last week. Today was the birthday lunch celebration at the William Penn Inn, the oldest continuously running inn in Pennsylvania. Going to a 300 year old Inn makes you feel young at 75.
The party was the first time Icepa had all three of his children, their spouses and all six grandchildren together in a while. It was a lovely occasion. The grandchildren are all old enough to be a pleasure at a grown up restaurant. For Carter the bonus is getting to have quality time with her oldest cousin Bree who is a college Freshman.
The best news of the week was that David, Russ’ brother, who had a heart attack in February was put on the heart transplant list and is now awaiting a new heart that will be his best chance at his old self. David was in good form today and I was happy to see him face to face. Mostly I was glad to spend time with his wife Tascha, the saint of all time, who has done a miraculous job taking care of him and their three kids. Please pray for a heart for David soon.
The funniest moments at lunch came when we gave all our nieces and nephews their Christmas presents and the youngest, Jack opened his and exclaimed, “Wow,” as the cash fell from his card. A fresh new bill makes a kid very happy.
In the end, Icepa had all his peeps together for his big birthday. There isn’t much to give anyone at 75 except a visit. I’m glad we were able to pull this together and celebrate all together.
Cold For Christmas
Posted: December 18, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
It has not been feeling at all like Christmas in North Carolina, what with our seventy degree December. It has made dressing for Christmas parties difficult. What might they be wearing in Palm Beach?
Today we remedied that global warming holiday feeling by coming north to Pennsylvania to visit Russ’ father and celebrate his 75th birthday and see his siblings and families. Bucks county
has done its best to provide that seasonal spirit with lots of cold.
We flew in to Philly and before we went to get our rental car Russ, Carter and I went to our TSA interviews to get our Global Entry cards. The only place in North Carolina you can get your interview is Charlotte, so getting interview times that corresponded with our arrival was a huge bonus. After traversing the multiple terminals we finally found the secret intercom where we gave the password and were buzzed in, but first were told through the squawk box to “make sure no one is following you.” Is this some kind of test?
We were put in a room with a TV playing a continuous loop instructional video about global entry and all the infractions that could get us disqualified. Since we were fifteen minutes early for our appointment and the TSA agent was fifteen minutes late we memorized the entire video. I secretly thought the interview was them watching us watching the video and if we did not pull the cord out of the continuous loop of the annoying video we could be considered safe enough to be let into the country without having to be interrogated by a human.
Once we determined what my real name was we passed the interview and were on our way with our new global entry numbers, no shoe or belt removal in our future.
As if the cold was not enough of a slap, driving on I-95 reminded me why we moved away from here. We got to Icepa’s house and had enough time to visit with Carter’s cousin Bree before heading further north to Peddler’s Village for dinner and a good dose of Christmas lights and nose freezing.
After a dinner of colonial style Turkey we wandered the shops and picked up a couple of Christmas gifts. Finally it was feeling like the holiday season. I only had to leave home and fly five hundred miles to find it.
Flash Back to My Old Life
Posted: December 17, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
Today Russ’ company had their Q4 meeting and holiday party. I am used to going to the party since I am the supportive spouse. But today, I also went to the meeting, not as the consultant I used to be, but as the art director for the photographer that was shooting shots of the meeting to be used on the company website.
Coincidentally, my Dad was also at the meeting, not as the boss he was when I worked for him, but as the elder statesman and inspirer of the company that Russ and his partner Rich started 18 years ago. As I stood in the back of the conference room listening to my Dad tell stories about working many years ago as a consultant the last years I have spent as a mother fell away and I was transported back to my previous life.
Sometimes it feels like I have lived many different lives. One informs the other, but they don’t easily blend together. Life in boarding school is compartmentalized to a three year period, then college four. My first job, selling mail opening machines, while at the same time running á la Carter, my catering business, even though those two things happened at the same time, they had very little cross over with each other, like living two lives at the same time. Then my life as a consultant, with mostly international work and marriage. And one day I quit my job to have a baby. The end of my work identity and a whole new life had to be developed.
The only constant in that last part was Russ. He supported me in finding new things, Durham Magazine, the Food Bank and life in Durham. But today, busy as I am with Carter having exams this week and me getting ready for Christmas I stopped everything to spend this day as a fly on the wall in my old life. I listened to presentations, talked to consultants, looked at marketing plans. It was easy to fall right back into step with the language and the tenor.
It was fun to spend time with young people who are doing interesting work.
Do I miss that old life? Probably not because I really like my regular life now. What I do know is it is best to have one life. I have tried doing two things at once and that is much too hard. You are never fully in one thing so you are missing something or feeling like you aren’t doing your best all the time. In the end you really can’t repeat yourself, but a visit back, for just a day, was just fine.
Can You Love a Dog Too Much?
Posted: December 16, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
This morning when I went to the gym I ran into my friend Susan who said, “I wish you would give up the blog about food and just have a blog about Shay Shay.” Now maybe I am not remembering that quite right. She could have said, “…have Shay Shay write a blog.” For full disclosure, Susan has a dachshund who is featured prominently in her Facebook, so it was not news to me that she would like a dog blog everyday.
Later in the day I got a picture from my friend Sheppy of her new labradoodle puppy, Peppermint. Sheppy had read so much about Shay Shay in this blog that she decided she needed one of her cousins for herself. Thankfully our breeder did not make Sheppy fly in from Nashville for an interview to see if she was worthy since she was recommended by both me and Sara Pottenger.
Sara has another one of Shay’s cousins, Brady. She said to me just yesterday that she hopes she out lives Brady because she can’t imagine life without him. I hope that they both stick around for at least the next 35 years.
This afternoon my friend Christy brought my Christmas present over. She had gotten me something in July and could not wait another minute to give it to me. She figured we were close enough to Christmas for me to open it. I had to hold back the tears when I unwrapped the perfect portrait of Shay Shay. So as I sit on the sofa, trying to type on my iPad with the real Shay resting her head on my arm I am gazing at the darling picture of Shay that now sits on the bookshelf.
Obviously the answer to my question, “Can you love a dog too much?” is absolutely not. There is no way I can ever love this dog as much as she loves me. Never mad when I leave her home alone or drag her out in the rain to do her business. She may not be happy, but does not hold it against me.
Russ is going to love this painting of Shay as much as I do and I think we might as well not try and give each other anything for Christmas because nothing will top this gift from Christy.
Why I Like Christmas By Shay Shay Lange
Posted: December 15, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentIt’s here, my favorite time of the year. I like when the house gets all sparkly and shiny. I like having a tree inside, even though I am not allowed to pee on it. There is a lot of food in the house and my mother is cooking, cooking, cooking. Usually I get a treat of what she is making, but she doesn’t always let me taste it. Who told her chocolate is not good for dogs? But what I really like most of all is that friends come over and play with me.
Today, I was standing at the front door looking out and when I saw someone outside I invited them to come in and maybe have a drink or something to eat. These people are kind of sparkly and shiny too. They bring little bags with treats and I have to promise not to put my nose in them even though sometimes I want what’s inside the bag.
At a Christmas time more people come in my house and sit around, more than usual. I can almost always find a friend who lets me sit in their lap. See, I like snuggling with friends a lot.
At Christmas almost all the friends who come in my house have something to eat. The friends are nice to me and let me taste some of their lunch. I am not a big fan of jicama, what is jicama anyway?
Sadly, as soon as friends come, they seem to go. But today my best dog friend Harry’s mom, who lives across the street came over and asked if I could have a play date with Harry. You know I was excited so I went home with Harry”s mom.
After we played in Harry’s yard, my Mom came and got me and said it was time for me to come home for my nap. Christmas friends really take it out of me. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait for tomorrow when I can get someone else to come over and look at my tree growing out of the floor in my big room. But for right now I think I am a little tired.
Bad Timing
Posted: December 14, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
This time of year tends to be jammed packed with lots of things to do. Things I love, like parties, celebrations, cookie exchanges, decorating, decoration viewing and general merriment. Of course these occurrences are fit in amongst the regular living activities like grocery shopping, dentist appointments, hair cuts and working out. Then there are the holiday requirements which are not merriment, but are required, like Christmas gift shopping and wrapping.
Somehow in a generally already full life the holidays don’t just fit in by themselves. Precision calendar management is required, pernicious trimming of all but the most essential activities must be done and some general not getting done must be accepted.
I made a critical error in calendar management this year. I planned an annual holiday lunch for a day that after a weekend away basketball tournament and on the first day of exams for my high school junior. Then beyond all my calendar control, my husband suddenly left for Australia, only to return two days before my lunch. This means I really should be paying some attention to him since he was away for ten days, but couldn’t he have come home after my lunch?
My second error in time planning was I had both a dentist and hair appointment this morning. What was I thinking? I should be home cooking. When I got in my car to leave for the gym this morning the last thing I needed to see was the warning light flashing “tire pressure too low.” I stopped at the gas station on the way to the dentist and filled my tires. Apparently I am not good at doing that and the light came right back on. I stopped at the tire center and left my car and walked home from the Target. Good way to get my steps, which I certainly would have forgone today. That was a half hour I did not have to spare. Thankfully there was nothing too wrong with my car and my friend Christy drove me back to get my car.
Carter then came home from school to prepare for exams and asked if I could quiz her. The cookie exchange I was supposed to go to, even though I was not exchanging, had to be skipped. Boo hoo, one of my favorite parties, but exams junior year take precedent.
The next wrench came when a board meeting was rescheduled for the tomorrow after my lunch, meaning I will have to leave right after it is over to drive to Raleigh. I hope that Carter does not need much quizzing tomorrow since I won’t be here.
I think I need to go back to a big paper calendar where I can see the whole month at one glance. Only then would I notice so many of the mistakes in my planning and not make this amateur mistake of over scheduling. I can’t do anything about the holiday coming, but I could plan better to enjoy the fun bits and leave the dentist for January.
Chicken and Spinach Strudel
Posted: December 13, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
I promised my needlepoint stitches this recipe from our Christmas lunch. If you have ever made any Greek dish with filo dough you will be fine to handle making this. If not, just practice a few times rolling these individual strudels and soon you will be making nice tight rolls with nicely folded edges.
One box of frozen fill dough comes with 30 sheets of pastry, enough for six strudels. So this recipe is enough for six because you really can’t keep filo dough that is leftover.
You can put anything that is not too wet as a filing. I make this one by cooking all the ingredients separately and mixing them together right before filling.
3 boneless skinless chicken thighs- cooked and chopped
2 lbs of fresh spinach or 3 boxes of frozen chopped spinach
1 large yellow onion chopped and sautéed
1 large package of fresh mushrooms, sliced and sautéed
Nutmeg
6 oz. feta cheese, crumbled
1/2 cup grated Gruyere cheese
Salt and pepper
30 sheets of fill dough
1 stick of butter melted
Thaw the filo dough.
If you are using fresh spinach, sautée it it in a big pan without adding any water. Just put the leaves in a pan on medium heat and keep turning them over with tongs until they are wilted, about three minutes. Squeeze out any liquid from the spinach. Grate some fresh nutmeg over the spinach and salt and pepper. If you are using frozen, just prep it according to the package, but really squeeze the water out.
In a big bowl, mix together the spinach, cooked chicken, onions, mushrooms and two cheeses. Salt and pepper the whole thing.
Unroll the thawed filo and unroll it carefully not to break it and cover the sheets with a damp towel.
Working on a cutting board carefully pick one filo sheet up and lay it flat on board. Using a pastry brush cover the sheet with melted butter. Pick up another sheet and lay it on top of the first one and brush the top of that sheet with butter, repeat until you have five sheets in the stack.
Spoon one sixth of the filling onto one end of the short side of the filo dough making sure it is about one inch in from the edges. It should be a log about two inches wide. Fold up the short side on the end of the log and start rolling it up folding in the sides as you roll. It should look something like a big egg roll. Brush the outside with butter. I like to wrap each strudel in a separate piece of foil and freeze them individually if I am not baking them immediately.
If you want to eat them that day, lay strudels on a foil lined cookie sheet. Bake in a 400 degree oven for 20-25 minutes until golden brown and crispy.
If you freeze them, unwrap while still frozen and place on the foil lined cookie sheet and let them thaw for an hour before baking the same way.
Oh Happy Day
Posted: December 12, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
The day started with Carter waking up to study for exams before her 12:30 basketball game. Since I had to be quiet and not disturb her I left the hotel and went out in search of gifts. I would walk into a store and hard as I might try not to get that glazed look and really focus I just couldn’t do it. My fruitless hunt just made me frustrated so I went off to find Covenant Day, the school where the game was going to be played.
Although it was only a fifteen minute drive I was amazed by the number of large private school and big ass mega churches I passed, but then I remembered that Charlotte is the buckle of the bible belt. We prayed corporately at the beginning of the game and I guess that the DA teamed prayed extra hard because they played the best game of their season.
The CD team got out to a big lead and DA fought back at the half. After the break CD widened the lead with a number of three point shots. With only three minutes left in the game the DA girls made four baskets in half a minute without out letting their opponents even get to their end of the court. It was a heart pumping last three minutes but in the end the DA girls were victorious 52-50.
Carter and I jumped in the car to get home because Shay was missing us and Russ was due to get home tonight. Shay Shay did practically jump over my head in excitement when I picked her up, but she was quite disappointed when she got home that Russ was still no where to be found.
After 36 hours of flying Russ finally arrived back at RDU. The reunion of man and dog was sweet, but not as good as Daddy and daughter. Russ showed us pictures from Sydney with the best ones being from his bridge climb he did on the Sydney bridge yesterday, of course yesterday for him was two days ago.
So now we are all reunited. Snuggled together happy as can be with a winning game, good Australian trip and wait, no Christmas presents bought by me. Well, two out three ain’t bad, it was a happy day.
Charlotte Again
Posted: December 11, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
I am back I Charlotte for twenty four hours of basketball with Carter. Exams be damned, basketball must go on. The first game tonight was a winner against Charlotte Country Day, 53-33. I am naive enough about basketball to think that is was a great game, but Carter informed me that there were too many mistakes so it was not a wonderful game. It was better than a sharp stick in the eyeball far as I could tell.
I am not ready for Christmas. My shopping has been poor this year and I am unsure of exactly what I have for whom. What I do know is I have absolute nothing for Russ, just the way he likes it. Since I was coming to Charlotte for the games I thought I could do some shopping. I made my first stop at IKEA for a couple of things for Carter and a hostess gift or two. There is nothing at IKEA that Russ would like, save for some Swedish mustard and that is no gift.
Since I had two hours before the game I went to South Park Mall to see what I could find for Russ. Absolutely nothing was the answer. The only good news is I did not buy anything for myself. I did find some beautiful shoes at Neiman Marcus, but I am too old and practical to spend $795 on a pair of fancy flats. I did take a picture of them so I could look for a cheaper version someday.
After failing at shopping I went to the game where the tried and true DA parent supporters all showed up extra early and sat on the home team bleachers. I don’t think the nine of us took up too much space from the Country Day parents, but I will say we were quite vocal. One nice surprise was a great friend of Carter’s from camp, Morgan, who lives in Charlotte came to watch the game. It was a fun reunion for Carter. Morgan went to dinner with Carter and the team.
Sadly the team was going to the mall to eat at the food court so it meant that I was back at the mall too. There is nothing worse than trying to find a parking space on Friday night in December at the mall. I can’t remember the last time I ate at a food court. I should have skipped going with the team and gone some place better since it was impossible to get a seat near the team. At least Morgan was able to sit with Carter and the team.
I hope I have better luck in the morning doing some Christmas shopping, but since I have no idea where to go the chances are slim. Of course I’m really only here for the basketball.
Sad Dog
Posted: December 10, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
Russ has been in Australia all week. His being away is nothing new. As a consultant he is often away working, but this week is different. Not different for me, or for Carter, who is consumed with exam prep and basketball. The one in our house who seems most out of sorts with Russ so far away is Shay Shay.
She has taken to sitting alone in rooms Russ might be in, like his office or sitting on a chair alone in the dark living room just in case he comes in the front door or the garage so she would not miss him. She listens for the garage door to open and is despondent that it has not produced him for a week. It is not that he has been away for so long, but somehow I feel like Shay knows he is so far away.
Today Shay was sitting snuggled next me me as I was scrolling through photos on my iPad. She did not appear to be watching the screen, but when a big picture of Russ’ face flashed up on the screen she picked her head up and looked at it and made a tiny crying sound.
Right now she is lying next to me facing the door, most certainly hoping that he will walk right through it. If anyone does not believe that a dog has a broad range of emotions and loves as deeply as any human, never actually knew a dog.
I love Shay Shay, and while I know she loves me I also know she does not adore and worship me the way she does Russ. I wish that she could read a calendar and understand that he is absolutely coming home to her in a couple of days. It breaks my heart to see her moping around with the tragic look of someone who has just lost their puppy. Ironic isn’t it. I wonder if in the dog world they say, “You look like you just lost your human”?
For now she will just have to do with me and Carter. We aren’t so bad, but hey, I understand, we just ain’t Russ. I guess I agree with her. There is no replacement.
Posted: December 9, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
It’s Heart of Carolina Day for the Food Bank of Central and Eastern NC. This is the last big push to get people to donate food and funds to help feed out hungry neighbors. The local ABC 11 station does cut ins all day showing people bringing food to various locations throughout the triangle. For the last few years I have done early morning cut in, but today I was only available to do the three o’clock slot. I know it makes all those General Hospital watchers angry if we eat into their show, so apologies to you.
Here is the video of me on TV.
I wish that I had brushed my hair, but maybe people watching it will think that I had been at the truck collecting food all day and that is why I look so disheveled.
It is the holiday season and if you have a loved one on your list who does not need another thing, consider donating to a charity in their name. The Food Bank is always happy to send a card to let your honoree know of your generosity on their behalf if you make a donation online. The Food Bank of CENC
Ignore what I look like and just hear the message that the Food Bank can turn every dollar into five meals. Thanks to all you wonderful donors.
My Favorite “Job”
Posted: December 8, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
Today was my garden club’s annual Christmas Auction. It is not a big time auction like Sotheby’s or Christies. Members each bring things, mostly home made, like cakes worthy of the Christmas dinner table or wreaths festooned with ribbons and berries. The point of the auction is to raise money we then turn around and give away and to have fun and do what we all do best, eat lunch and visit with each other.
Somehow I have gotten on the schedule that the auction is held at my house every other year, but this year was my “off year” so Christy Barnes held it at her lovely home. Being the hostess of the Christmas auction is a lot of work since you have to feed about 70 people, so I was extra thankful for Christy this year.
My real job at the auction every year is to be the auctioneer. When I first was invited to join the Hope Valley Garden Club my very first meeting was the Christmas auction. It was at Anne Bradford’s house and Pat Joklik was auctioneer. The HVGC has a broad range of ages in the women in membership and since I was one of the younger ones back then I got to sit on the stairs as the items were being auctioned off in the living room. As Pat would wrangle $20 or $25 for a pound cake from the ladies in attendance, I sat amazed that anyone would pay that much for a cake they could bake for $3.
In the next couple of years, as the membership got younger, Pat asked me to be her assistant auctioneer so I could help her with the names of newer members. Then one year after many decades of her being the auctioneer she announced she was retiring and leaving the job in my Pat trained hands.
So for about the last ten years I have had the pleasure of being the auctioneer. This year was easy. The items to be auctioned off were all fabulous. The worst thing that can happen is for someone to bring some old item from their basement and no one wants to bid on it. This is not a white elephant sale. I have to come up with some witty banter about each item, especially if it is a dud because the crowd will bid on funny, but not on crappy. Of course I can’t say anything that offends the donor, which means sometimes I really have to hold back. This year I probably only said two or three off color remarks which is fairly good for me.
Some years ago we started letting members invite guests to the auction. It makes my job a little harder since I don’t always know the whole crowd, but the guests bid much higher for things than the members usually do so we have greatly increased the amount of money we raise. No one could every get a caramel cake for $25 now, you really have to fork over closer to a $100.
I could never do this job without the help of the runner elves who bring me the items so we can keep the pace up. Thanks to Kathi Eason and Connie Kearny for being the elves. Kathi is also a good model and is seen in the picture with me modeling the mother daughter aprons, made by Stephanie Perun. Of course, I am playing the mother in this scenario.
I was told by the treasurer, Missy Mcleod that we raised just under $5,000 which was a record amount. Thanks to all in attendance who bid on and bid up items. It is all I good fun when good friends bid against each other. Sadly, I did not win any of the items I bid on, but I did make sure the winners paid a pretty penny for them. Being just the auctioneer and not the hostess makes this the most fun day ever. I hope I get to keep this job for a few more years.
Needlepoint Christmas
Posted: December 7, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment 
Decorating my house for Christmas makes me want to entertain everyday. Of course I would be as big as my house if I did that because I feel like Christmas is the time to eat those naughty things I don’t eat the rest of the year. So I have to limit the number of parties I throw to one a week. Now I just can’t have everyone I love to my house every year. It pains me, but I am not interested in having a parties so large that I don’t get to have any fun.
Today kicked off my holiday entertaining with my favorite thing, a lunch where everyone can fit around one table. I had my multi-generation needlepoint ornament exchange lunch. This is no last minute pot luck. My group of stitching advisors pick names in January that we keep secret all year. Each guest makes a needlepoint Christmas ornament for her special person. It is quite a lot of pressure for me to come up with a project worthy of these superior stitchers.
Since we sit around the stitching table weekly we share all the things that go on in our lives, our families, health, books we are reading, shows we are watching, trips we are taking, recipes we like as well as the one thing that ties us all together, needlepoint we are creating.
I cherish this diverse group of friends who are at different stages and life experiences than I am. One battled cancer this year and I am thrilled is through that, one climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro, one moved her mother to a memory care unit, one helped her father through two knee replacements, one is planning her daughter’s wedding, one lost her beloved dog and is in the process of getting a new puppy, one has a third child applying to college. With all that we are dealing with the stitching table is a place of love, advice, bitching, sharing, brain storming, learning and mostly laughter.
This year’s ornaments were a beautiful expression of how much we care for each other. It makes me extra happy that they all also appreciate a good lunch. I promise that I will write up the recipe for the chicken and spinach strudel I made for lunch as tomorrow’s blog. Unfortunately it is not low calorie, but then again this is Christmas party food.
Sixteen Going On Seventeen
Posted: December 6, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized 2 Comments 
Seventeen years ago this day was a Sunday. I remember, not because I am one of those savants who can recall every detail of their lives, but this day was so important to me I remember it well. For seventeen years ago, on this day, was the last day Russ and I were just a couple. I was two weeks overdue with our baby and was going to the hospital at six the next morning to have Carter.
Carter’s birth was very eventful. Her heart rate went down three times which prompted the doctor to call for an emergency c-section. I was instructed to get on my hands and knees on the skinny hospital bed while my gown, that opened in the back hung off me and lay on the bed under me. Nurses, who were unconcerned with my naked body, furiously rolled the bed through the halls to the operating room were I rolled off one bed onto the operating table. In five minutes Carter was born, with no apparent heart problem. It set me up for years of accident and injuries that were scary at first, but not that bad in the end from my only child.
So tonight, on the eve of her seventeenth birthday, Carter is out to dinner with a couple of friends. So grown up to want to just go out to dinner. Russ is in Australia and I am home with Shay Shay prepping the cake for the post-dinner celebration. Seventeen seems so old. I guess I can blame the Sound of Music for making me feel like being sixteen going on seventeen is a big deal. No, it’s not eighteen or twenty-one or any of the big legal ages, but seventeen is the only age that has a magazine named after it.
As I flip through Carter’s baby book and relive that first year, it feels like yesterday. Since Carter ended up being an only child I tried to appreciate all the stages. I never minded diapers, or teething, or learning to ride a bike. I could have done without some adolescent time, but really it was fairly short lived. Now her time at home is short. Before we know it she will be grown. Always my baby, no matter how old. Happy Birthday Carter! You changed our lives for the better.
