Spring?
Posted: March 26, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy Leave a comment
I look out the window
The grass is bright green.
The forsythia’s blooming
A big yellow scream.
Daffodils trumpet proudly
In squadrons they stand.
Periwinkle blooms
Lavender carpets the land.
The sun’s shining brightly
High up in the sky.
From inside it looks
Like spring’s best try.
Excited, I step outside
To the cloudless blue.
The cold slaps my face
And I scream FU.
Don’t Hate Me…
Posted: March 25, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: cleaning lady, Pantene Leave a comment
Remember that old Pantene commercial, “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful”? I don’t know if anyone ever said that in real life, but it was brilliant marketing because the presumptuous line was forever ingrained in the mind of anyone alive in the 80’s. What I remember thinking about that ad when I saw it is, “Hey, you aren’t so beautiful.”
Because of that ad I am always hesitant to start any sentence with, “Don’t hate me…” It conjures up a horrible arrogance. All that being said I’m going to say this anyway, “Don’t hate me because I have a cleaning lady.” I know I’m lucky and I am eternally grateful to have help to clean my house. I really like to have a tidy house, but if I did not have help I would be one grouchy person.
There is one terrible problem with having someone come and clean my house once a week; the kitchen is so clean I hate to think about messing it up by cooking in it. For a few of my friends this would be a great excuse since they hate to cook or even that they don’t think about eating. For me it is a problem.
Now my cleaning lady has been coming on the same day for many, many years. You would think I could plan ahead and do a lot of really messy cooking the day before, like anything that involves searing meat that releases tiny grease droplets into the air, but no. It never fails that the day my kitchen gets totally simonized is the day I decide I need to cook up a batch of chicken thighs. Or I remember a friend’s birthday and need to pull out the ‘ole Kitchen Aid mixer and whip up a cake sending flour around the room.
I am thinking that maybe I can turn “my cleaning lady just came and cleaned the kitchen” obsession into a new diet plan. Maybe I could see how long I could keep my stove grease free. This just might work if I lived alone and was not tasked with every once in a while providing a meal for my husband who provides everything for me, including the cleaning lady.
I think it is too late for me to turn into one of those wives who does not cook. I guess I need to just do better at planning my cooking on the days right before the cleaning lady comes. I certainly don’t want to do anything to jeopardize having a cleaning lady, because unlike the Pantene girl in the ad I really don’t care if you hate me because I have a cleaning lady.
My Favorite Lunch
Posted: March 24, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: hot lunch Leave a comment
Lunch today – Spaghetti and Meatballs, Fettuccini Alfredo, Salad, Italian Bread, Texas Sheet Cake, Lemonade and Water – My favorite lunch of the year. No, I did not eat this for lunch today, just some of the salad and a bite of cake. This is what I served to Carter’s advisory at hot lunch.
Since Carter’s school does not have a cafeteria they have a tradition of different families taking one day during the school year and serving a hot lunch to their advisory group. So one day each month the kids eat as a group and don’t have to brown bag it. Since this starts in Middle school it is basically the only sanctioned time a parent can hang out with the kids and see real school world interaction. It has always been one of my favorite days of the year, today being no different.
Hot lunch is the choice of the child whose parents are bringing it in. If I were Carter I would request me to cook something like ‘somebody died? Fried chicken,” but no she wanted something I almost never allow, lunch from Maggiano’s. I learned long ago not to make hot lunch a battle; it is supposed to be a treat. So I let Carter pick out the menu and I surprised her by baking her favorite Texas Sheet Cake.
I have to say that Carter has the nicest group of kids in her advisory. They were thankful, helpful, kind and fun to have lunch with. I was not treated as a dreaded parent. One of Carter’s good friends Zibby even noticed that I was the thinnest she has ever seen me and asked how I was doing it, which prompted a group discussion about my 20,000 daily steps and my treadmill desk.
Being welcomed one day a year makes hot lunch fun. I’m sure if I were to show up every month the kids would quickly tire of me, or I might get kicked off the board of trustees for telling inappropriate stories to students. One time a year is all I am allowed. The saddest part is that now I only have three more hot lunch events and then Carter will be off to college where I won’t have the same opportunity to get to know her friends. Maybe I can start College hot lunch.
Mother Guilt
Posted: March 23, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy 1 Comment
After two nine-hour days at Teen Driving Solutions Schools both Carter and Russ declared the weekend a big success. This is really something coming from a kid who did not want to spend the weekend with a bunch of people she did not know and a husband who did not know he was going to do the class at all. Considering the starting point their enthusiasm was impressive. Friends were made, insights into how to coach your new driver were gained, and lots of hands on experience about different driving situations was had.
While Russ and Carter were being productive and improving themselves, their relationship and understanding of each other I was back at the farm wearing Shay Shay out. The farm is the one place on earth that Shay gets to roam leash free. Despite having virtually an unlimited amount of land to explore she tends to stay close by me.
Yesterday being the nicer day weather wise I walked the farm road back and forth until I had logged close to ten miles. Shay started out running in the grass besides me sniffing everything of interest. At about mile five I noticed that she was limping. Perhaps that distance is just too great for such a small dog.
Although she was clearly not walking normally she did not complain or stop walking, but I was worried about exasperating the situation. I took her to our little house and left her, which caused her a lot more stress than the limp. She jumped up and down at the glass door crying to go with me. “Stop jumping on your hurt legs,” I thought as I walked away to get the second half of my steps.
I got back to the house and she was still standing at the back door waiting with the “You left me” guilt look on her face. I opened the door so she could come out and walk up to the big house with me. She still was limping and now was noticing it. I stopped walking and she jumped into my arms with the presumption that I would carry her like a baby. I tried but about halfway up the road her twenty pound body got just to much for me to carry and I had to put her down to walk on her own. She did it, but I still felt badly about it.
In my mother guilt voice in my head I thought that it was my fault she had hurt her legs while she was trying to keep up with my long distance walking. Then that same voice thought why the hell was I not able to carry a measly twenty-pound dog? Hell, at my absolute fattest I used to carry 145 more pounds around all the time.
Today was much colder and rainy so I ended up walking in the house while watching basketball and Shay lay on the sofa watching me, much happier to have a comfy place to recover yet not be alone. As I was doing my I-must-be-a-crazy-person-walking-around-in-circles-inside-walk it dawned on me that I did not need to feel guilty about my dog having so much fun running free outside on a beautiful day to the point of pulling something.
Shit happens and it does not have to be anyone’s fault. I also let go of the guilt I felt that Russ and Carter were doing the driving course and I was not. In the end they both loved it.
I’m not sure where mother guilt comes from, but I know it is a real thing and not a real good thing most of the time. I’m sure it causes stress and we all know that stress causes eating and that eating causes, well you know. So I am going to try and concentrate on not having mother guilt, even if it is about my dog child. I’ll let you know if I come up with any good tricks to end this millennium old issue.
A Driving Force
Posted: March 22, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Teen Driving, VIR 1 CommentMy Dad gave Carter a car for Christmas even though she had just gotten her learners permit. It is the standard affliction he has about kids he is related to and cars. Basically any excuse to buy another car is a good excuse. Along with the car he also gave her a Teen Defensive Driving Class at Virginia International Raceway. Before he registered her for the class he doubled and triple checked the dates with me to ensure she was free.
This is said weekend for teen driving so we drove up last night to spend the night at the farm so we were closer to VIR since Carter’s start time was 7:30 in the morning. I’m not sure who plans a teen driving experience to start at 7:30 in the morning, perhaps they want to get kids at their absolute worst to really see what their driving is like.
Russ and I had planned a free weekend of farm life walking with Shay Shay, Russ catching up on work and basketball watching with my Mom. My Dad lent us one of the cars from his fleet so we could drive back from the drop off of Carter and her car at the driving school.
We knew we had found the right place when we came upon the parking lot full of retired police Crown Vics. Carter and I went into the registration desk where there was a table of bright yellow name tags laid out. I introduced Carter and they gave her a lanyard and id and then preceded to hand me my nametag. “Wait,” I said. “I’m not signed up to take this course.”
“Oh yes you are, this is a class for teens and their parents.” News to me, apparently news to my Dad who paid and definitely news to Russ who was literally along for the ride. Russ and I met the head guy who I had a major e-mail relationship with and told him about our lack of understanding. He did a hard press that it was important to train parents about how to ride in the passenger seat while our teen was learning. Oh God, bad parent guilt. Russ caved and said he would stay today and I asked if we could split the days, the head guy agreed.
Off I drove alone, taking Russ’ computer, leaving him for the day of physiological lectures and Myers Briggs like testing to understand your teen. If I had to spend the day sitting in a classroom and taking these tests I’m sure I would have gotten kicked out of school. I got to come back to the farm and walk my nine miles, which by the way almost did Shay Shay in and now she is limping.
Three quarters through the day Russ texted me that this was the less driving day and he was willing to come back and do the Sunday session so he got to do the more fun, more driving day. Now I owe Russ double since he volunteered to do everything.
Russ and Carter arrived back at the farm after nine hours of class and announced it actually was good and are looking forward to going back. Thank goodness. I know that I would never hear the end from either of them if this thing had been a huge bust.
Carter turned out to be a fairly good driver coming in the top 25% in comparison to other teens in her class who were all older and more experienced, so far so good. But the thing I was most happy is about is that she was the only kid in her group who could lift a spare tire while learning how to change it out. If I ever need help with a flat I am going to remind her of this training.
Tough Act to Follow
Posted: March 21, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy 2 Comments
Yesterday I went to Greenville, NC for a meeting that included a nice lunch. By the time I got home and picked Carter up from school it was apparent that something had not agreed with me. I told Carter I was going to lie down and I went to bed and slept for 20 hours.
Some time in my sick sleeping Russ came in to check on me and I apparently said, “I have not written my blog, please post something.” I guess it is true that if you do something everyday it becomes such a strong habit that even in my sicken stupor I was worried about missing a post.
Russ hardly had time with work and now having to come up with dinner, since I had just taken to bed, so he passed the blog responsibility on to Carter. I had no idea until I woke up this morning and read all the sweet comments on facebook and the blog what a heartfelt poem Carter had written to me.
I am happy to say that what ever was wrong with me was not life threatening, but it certainly elicited the kindest message from my child that I will cherish always. Teenage years are not always the easiest with parents and kids. We just don’t always tell each other the good things as often as we should.
I can remember some really good knock-down-drag-out fights with my own parents. I wish that I had written them such a sincere message to tell them how much I love them when I was that age. I know now as a mother how much those little gestures mean.
In the spirit of my kind daughter I want to tell my parents how wonderful they have been. The one thing I always knew is that my parents have always been there supporting me and my sisters in all that we do. Knowing there are people who love you and are cheering for you all the time is the most valuable reassurance a human can have.
We tell our children all the time how much we love them, but having your child say it back is even more special, especially if they are a teenager. I hope my parents aren’t mad that I am not half as good a child as my child is. I know it’s never too late to say I love you, but I’m sure that it would have gone a long way if I were a nicer teenager.
Dana Is Sick- So I Wrote a Poem
Posted: March 20, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized 8 CommentsHi readers, followers, and friends of Dana,
Dana, or my mom, is really sick and has been asleep all afternoon. I’m not exactly sure what to do on here so just bear with me here. I will apologize in advance for grammar or spelling mistakes. I thought a good topic for this post will be a poem for my mom.
Dana Henderson Carter Lange. My mom, my hero, my inspiration, my best friend.
I’ve known her all my life (well, duh).
She has pushed me, she has held my hand, she has never lost hope in me;
And I hope she never will.
She’s put all of her, and some, into me. I only wish I can be half of her.
Being only half of Dana would to be an amazing, caring, beautiful, and perfect person.
Mom, I love you. Sleep well. Please get better.
Life is boring without you.
Love,
Your Baby Bug
TASTE – The Event
Posted: March 19, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Amy Tourquist, Kelli and Billy Cotter, Taste Leave a comment
I rarely promote unlimited eating, but I do like to eat interesting and local food, so today I want to let you know about a big food happening being put on by my friends at Durham and Chapel Hill Magazines –TASTE the event. It is a five-day celebration of the exciting culinary world in Durham and Chapel Hill starting on April 23 and the Grand TASTE experience at the Durham Performing Arts Center on April 24.
Local biggies in our food world like Amy Tournquist of Watts Grocery, Kelli and Billy Cotter of Toast, Kevin Callaghan of Acme and Ricky Moore of Saltbox Seafood are just a few of the more that sixteen chef’s participating. But the evening is not all about food; local spirits and drinks are going to be featured along with their makers.
Tickets are available at the DPAC with no service charge or online.
I hope you will join me in a three hours eating, or should I say tasting extravaganza. The Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina is the beneficiary of this grand affair so go, have fun, eat and have no guilt – you will be helping feed others in our community.
There are many other events from a Cocktail and Hors D’Oeuvres reception at the TOPO Distillery to a hands-on event shopping at the Durham Farmer’s Market, cooking and eating event. To learn about all the TASTE events and how to get tickets visit the Website TASTE the event.
New Weight is Tentative- A Study
Posted: March 18, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy 1 Comment
I am a walking science experiment for weight gain and loss. One theory that I have had for years is that weight you gain recently is just visiting and weight you have had a long time is settled in and has paid off the mortgage. The three pounds I gained on vacation is proof.
While away I did about the same amount of exercise I do at home, just a little less walking on flying days and not as much heavy lifting. What I changed was eating carbs. I also had vacation constipation, which I know you really don’t want to hear about. Anyway, put all those factors into my oh-so-studied body and when I got on the scale first morning home I was up three pounds. No surprise.
Yesterday I went to the gym, walked my steps, ate my regular being good diet and this morning I was down two and a half pounds and TMI alert…I still have not gotten regular, sorry. In one day of doing exactly what I always do I lost almost all the weight I gained in one week of being bad. I would not usually lose that much weight in three weeks, but since it was just new weight it was only visiting. The secret is to get it off very fast before it starts looking at houses and trying to find a way to stick around permanently.
I am not advocating eating a lot regularly and then taking it off quickly, but I am saying that a vacation every once in a while does not have to completely sabotage a healthy life. In fact it seems a lot easier to get back in the saddle because the scale was up a few pounds. If I had come home and not gained any weight I might have been lulled into some false sense that I could eat that way all the time, even though I know that is not true for me.
I am interested in what the next week holds for me once I am fully back to normal. I wonder if I can break past the low I was at before vacation. That weight has been with me a long time and really likes living on my thighs. Eviction is tough and it seems that all the laws of nature are on the side of the fat being allowed to hold it’s ground. I’ll keep you posted about any success I have on moving the undesirables out of town.
The luck of Irish
Posted: March 17, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Patrick's day, St Leave a comment
How did this phrase ever get started? As far as history is concerned I don’t think the Irish have been that lucky at all. What has really kept them going is the attitude of the Irish. Yes, the legend has it that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland and maybe that was lucky, but really plenty of places have survived with lots of snakes, and they eat rodents which for my money is a worse problem.
The thing I like best about St. Patrick’s Day is it’s inclusive and happy nature. Today everyone is welcome as Irish, even their enemies. When I was a senior in boarding school a bunch of my friends and I went to NYC and crashed marching in the St. Patrick’s Day Parade. It was a fairly lax situation and our band of girls all with green Fair Isle sweaters on carrying a homemade banner had no trouble just butting in between a real honest to god marching band and a battalion of Irish Policemen. The attitude was the more the merrier.
I wish that everyday were like St. Patrick’s Day where regardless of your national heritage you are welcome to celebrate. Maybe some of the problems of the world would be minimized if the governments or opposition parties would act like they were all Irish and it were St. Patrick’s Day. Drink a little green beer together and sing a little tear jerky Danny boy, arms draped around each other. You can’t be mad at each other long in that situation.
The luck of the Irish is that no matter how bad the situation they see the sunny side. No vicarious suffering for them. You know what vicarious suffering is? It’s the moaning that because some ancestor of yours, likely someone you did not even know, suffered some injustice then you too are suffering. I say stop carrying around that baggage and be Irish. Perhaps all you really need is a little Irish whiskey to be a little happier.
Jet Blog
Posted: March 16, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: eating, Paris Leave a comment
Rather than write my blog I lazed away the eight hour flight from Paris to JFK watching movies, needle pointing and eating the business class fare that is much too decedent. I whiled away my flight from NY to RDU needlepointing as if I did not have a care in the world. Vacation had definitely gotten hold of me. I looked at my swollen ankles and realized how quickly rich living catches up with me.
The first few days I was away I was fairly good about living a disciplined life, then tea happened. Then that thing on vacation where you discuss the next meal while you are eating the first started happening, then came Paris. Macaroons seemed to have taken over the city. I have tried to make them at home and failed epically so I have a great appreciation for the patisserie that can bake them with such success, therefore I had to have one almost everyday.
I did walk and walk, but since I already do that at home the walking was not negating the eating that was happening. I used French bread to sop up the leek sauce in my escargot. Hey, I can’t do that at home, thank god. I ate chocolate mouse, but it was a shared portion, no excuse. I even spread that perfect French butter on bread. Sacra Bleu!
Tomorrow I will pay the piper and probably break down crying when I get on the scale. I know that my body is ready for vacation eating to be over because I just ran over to the Harris Teeter in my jet lagged state and I only bought five different kinds of fruit and skim milk.
Goodbye to the good life. One week a year is enough. Hello to reality, treadmill, salad eating. I purposely kept my regular trainer appointment for first thing tomorrow morning. I wonder if I have to get out my fat yoga pants?
No Driving in Paris
Posted: March 15, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Paris, parking, walking 1 Comment
Parking is tough in Paris so you better be able to walk. For the last few days the Metro has been free because the pollution has been so bad, especially from cars, that the government was doing all it could to encourage people to use public transport. Considering that there are more tourists than anyone else we are all already walking or taking the metro unless you are infirm in anyway.
Paris has been great for getting more than my 20,000 steps in a day. Even yesterday when we spent three hours riding on Segways rather than walking I still got my steps. One thing that helped was our night visit to the Eiffel Tower. First the train we were on to get there stopped two stations before our stop and the train driver told us he was going off work and we needed to take another train. Rather than wait we decided to walk the 2 and a half kilometers to the tower.
That small hiccup made us a little late so we joined the long line to buy tickets and only made it to the second level. Considering the smog and the night It was high enough for us. Carter discovered she did not love heights as we descended the 669 stairs rather than wait in line for the elevator. I did not mind the stairs, just the giant lights shining in our faces every few levels that made finding the step difficult. Carter wanted to kiss the ground when we finally got down.
Today Russ and I cross crossed the city from one antique market to the Pantheon and back to the antique market when I decided that a vintage Hermes Scarf was too good a deal to give up. I think we crossed the Seine at least 14 times just today. I had my steps by 4:00 in the afternoon and we still have to walk across the river again for dinner.
Clearly Paris is a walking city because most of the time that is the only way to get anywhere. But heaven forbid if you are handicapped. The narrow sidewalks, steps and cobblestoned areas make walking treacherous. I have no idea how French women walk in high heels in this city. I am thankful for my sensible shoes, but I am sick of wearing them.
Now I have the adventure of trying to pack all my goodies in my roll aboard suit case I was determined to bring. It is a good thing I did not bring a bigger suitcase because I might have bought more if I did. So it’s au revoir to Pais early in the morning and back home to driving and clean air and being able to pull up to the grocery store and park. I love Paris, but am glad the living is easy back in North Carolina.
Teenage Travel Success
Posted: March 14, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Paris, Segways Leave a commentAt last Russ and I stumbled upon the secret to traveling with a teenager — taking a Segway tour! All the walking around and looking at boring art and architecture does not make a teen happy, but put her on a Segway with a cool Brit tour guide and suddenly all the history, the folk lore, the buildings become much more interesting. Even the suggestion of taking a Segway tour elicited voluntary early rising from said teen.
The second winning strategy was letting her plan and execute her own afternoon of touring. She did this with skill, visiting the Louvre for free since she is under 18. Thank goodness I did not have to spend one Euro to traipse through the endless sea of Madonna and Child Renaissance oils which all begin to run together for me. I hate to ruin my Musse d’Orsay art high with the Louvre.
Carter visited parks and bridges taking photos all along the way. She ended up walking almost everywhere without complaint because her parents were not with her to complain to. Although I had given her three metro tickets so she could roam and return easily she only ended up taking one train because she discovered walking was easier. Huh, I wonder if I can remind her of that later?
I have no idea if she spent any of the money I gave her and can’t ask now that she is napping before dinner and a night visit to the eiffel tower. She has not volunteered to give me my 50 euros back, but since we still have another day I’m sure she is thinking she might need them so no reason to return money to a mother.
Russ and I walked and shopped and drank in cafés like people who don’t work for a living do. My reward to him is that I am not complaining about his spending one hour on a conference call before we go to dinner. How can I complain when I know that it is thanks to his working that Carter and I get to go on fun trips and drive Segways, eat French food and sit in cafés.
Paris and the Smoking is Easy
Posted: March 13, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy Leave a commentParis the city of lights really means the city of lighting up. How quickly I forgot what life was like living around people who are smoking all the time everywhere. When we arrived yesterday and had our first lunch in an outdoor cafe by our hotel I was swathed in smoke by the two young girls sitting next to us. As we walked to the Luxembourg gardens we were practically the only threesome on the street without a cigarette.
The light in Paris is famously hazy which makes photographs have that gauzy look that soften wrinkles and makes you look younger. That haze is actually smoke from the thousands of people per block standing or walking on the sidewalk puffing away.
All this unhealthy living rubbed off on me for my first twenty four hours here and I ate macaroons and bread like I was a skinny Parisian. Then last night I began to feel sick from the smoke and the food and I came to my senses and realized I am a reformed unhealthy person who needs to steer clear of all indulgences. I did much better today skipping bad food at breakfast and lunch and only indulging at dinner.
I finally had a 20,000 step day thanks to shopping, but boy were each of those steps expensive. Carter got tired of sitting in stores so we let her take the Metro back to the hotel which was the most exciting part of her day. Being free in a city is a teenagers dream. I am happy to say she did not take up smoking in her quest to go native.
Friends and Family Reunion
Posted: March 12, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy, Uncategorized | Tags: friends and family, London Leave a comment
We saved our last night in London for the best when we had a mini reunion of my best Friends and Family comrades, Simon W., Simon G. and Monica. This is the group of people I spent a year traveling the world with making commercials for BT. It was a bonding experience that is hard to replicate and we all agreed was the highlight of all our careers, at least in terms of fun.
Simon W. generously set up the night to be at one of his private clubs, but what he did not tell us is that it was so cool that men were not allowed to wear ties. He told us at the end of the evening about a time he invited an older friend to lunch with him at this club who showed up in his British finest. The day after the lunch Simon received a letter from the club management reminding him that the hip club had a “no tie” rule and to please not bring guests who break the rules.
Well Simon should have learned from that experience and not brought all of us to his club because we certainly broke lots of rules. Not only did Russ wear a tie, but we also arrived ahead of our host and they frowned upon letting us in without him, this being a private club and all. But the really big non-no was we tried to take a photo inside the club. As the Simons two, Mon and I mushed together so Carter could snap the picture an officious waiter came running over to remind Simon of the “no photos” rule. You never know if there was someone having an affair in the booth behind us who did not want to have photographic proof of his indiscretion.
In spite of the rules and all our breaking of them we had a wonderful night. The Simons had hosted a dinner for me and Carter last year so we had caught up on 14 years of history then, but this was the first time I had seen Monica in 15 years. It took no time to pick right up where we left off and Carter took a particular liking to her since she is a cool, successful, independent woman.
Russ knew my friends slightly since he had come on one of Friends and Family trips so it was fun for me to have all these people I adore to get a chance to know each other better. We ate, drank, told stories, shared heartaches, successes, wishes, dreams, plans and memories of times together.
As the night grew longer and the members of the club departed we flaunted the rules and took a number of group photos right inside — the waiters gave up admonishing us. Russ and Carter decided that they needed to get back to the hotel to get a little sleep since we had to get up early to leave for Paris, but my friends convinced me to stay a while longer too sad to end our reunion. So one more round of drinks and a few more stories.
It’s funny what one person remembers from a shared experience. Monica brought up the story of how I would get the bills for the 60 people we would take on these trips and be able to see who was watching naughty movies in their hotel rooms and who was not calling home to their spouses. This was something I had completely forgotten until she reminded me, but know it was totally in character for me and the job I had. I don’t remember using that information as any kind of blackmail, but it certainly gave me better insight into who I was working with. Needless to say anything I learned about my two Simons and Monica was not a negative because despite the years apart I consider them some of my favorite people.
Sadly we are leaving London but are on the Eurostar to Paris so how sad can we be? I love Paris, but have no friends living there now so Russ, Carter and I go purely as tourists and not as Friends or Family like we are in England.
Secret to Traveling with a Teenager
Posted: March 11, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: London, madam Tussaud's Leave a commentWhen I was just graduating from boarding school my parents and my fourteen and nine year old sisters moved to London. I came over with them for the summer before I started college. For me it was a big adventure of travel and exploration for my sisters it was torture. Margaret at 14 was a sun worshiper so for her England was about the worst place to move and Janet was a sports freak and was not happy about not having other kids to play against.
Because my parents were renovating a house in St. Johns Wood my father thought that it would be nice for the family to live in Surrey as a kind of resort for the summer so my mother could come into London during the day and work on the house and my sisters and I could hang out in the country.
We had a suite that meant the three girls all had to sleep together. This plan did not work well for me since I was 18. After a few days I realized I needed to get out. My boarding school friend Jenny Hetzler’s sister Betsy had a friend named Sally who was over here and wanted to travel with someone – it was me! So off Sally and I went with a Brit rail pass and plans to go as far north in Scotland as we could get with our back packs and a Let’s Go UK book.
This left Margaret and Janet to fend for themselves at the Selsdon Park Hotel during the days. I have no idea what Margaret did when the sun was not shining, but since I have a daughter about her age I can guess it was sleeping. I do know that Janet, who could fake being a young boy better than being a young lady used to go into the men’s only snooker room and play snooker (think billiards). She also took up golf and became quite a good player since she was good at all sports. I think there was some kind of hotel tournament which she won, but probably in the girls division.
My parents liked to spend the weekends exploring the countryside, looking at antiques and spending times in pubs, you can guess which parents liked which thing. At the beginning they used to make the kids go with them, but as the whining and complaining went on they eventually stopped taking my sisters and left them to fend for themselves. I can remember calling home on Easter weekend and finding that my parents had left my sisters home alone in London for the weekend because they did not want to go to Cornwall for the holiday since “Who shot Jr.” was going to be playing on Dallas.
Then, as an older sister and not a parent myself I thought this was horrible. Leave the fairly young kids alone in London. Now that I am a parent myself I think, “how great, no complaining children to ruin your holiday.”
Today Russ and I let Carter sleep as late as she wanted. Who cares that she comes all the way to London just to sleep. Russ and I had a civilized breakfast alone, no moodiness to deal with. We had a great walk in Green Park after eating so we could work off our eggs. When Carter got up around noon Russ and I divided the things she wanted to do – I had to go to Madam Tussaud’s with her so she could get pictures with the One Directions boys. Russ met us for lunch and then he took her to the zoo at Regent’s Park and I got to shop and try and get the rest of my steps in. Giving up on trying to find one activity that makes all of us happy at the same time is clearly the best way to travel with a teenager, that and letting her sleep. I don’t know why I did not learn this from my parents years ago.
Museums, Not So Much, Cute Brits in Uniform Yes
Posted: March 10, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: household cavalry, London, royal Leave a comment
Today was our day of having tea. Carter and my favorite meal of the year. It is the time I break all dieting rules. I eat carbs with every bite, sugar in extraordinary amounts and cream and lemon curd like I may never have it again. Oh yeah, and tea the only no calorie thing on the table. Since it was tea day everything has to be planned around eating the most fattening meal of the year at 3:00. That means late breakfast and go to the theater in the evening since it is a good day to skip dinner. What to do on the in between parts was left up to me.
I decided it was the perfect day to go to the V&A museum, one of my favorites. Russ and Carter had never been and I thought that they might enjoy it. I was pretty much wrong. Carter bores quickly at museums even though I know she takes the culture in because she spits it back out at surprising times. It is just painful for me during the actual touring and makes me cranky.
Giving up after a few hours at the museum we walked to the tube. The train car was so crowded that Russ had to stand bent over at a 60 degree angle to fit. This was making me crazy so we got off the tube a stop early and decided to walk home. As we emerged from the underground at Hyde Park Corner we were immediately immersed in a sea of The Household Cavalry in full dress uniforms being lined up on a giant bleachers to have their official portrait taken. It was a sea of attractive young men that made Carter happier than if she had been dropped into the middle of a One Direction concert.
The bleachers were already three quartered filled when we happened upon the occasion so we watched as some very bossy men ordered the young men to stand in their right places so everyone was organized by height and rank. It was quite difficult for the cavalrymen to climb the bleachers in their thigh high patten leather boots and we held out breath each time someone looked as if they might topple off the narrow steps.
The officers with their highly decorative gold braids loop around their chests were gathered right in front of me laughing and joking while they awaited their turn to be ordered into place. Being myself I approached the group and asked if they would mind helping me embarrass my daughter and let me take their picture with her. At once two volunteered and said they would love to have their picture made with my daughter.
I turned to find Carter in the crowd and summoned her forward. The young officers told her to come stand with them. One even asked Carter if she wanted to hold his sword. I am glad I did not hear him say this at the time because a mother might take that the wrong way. I snapped the shots and they kindly thanked me for taking their pictures. Such good manners, no wonder they are chosen to be part of the royal household.
We stayed and watched the rest of the production as the official photo of the household cavalry was made. Carter’s mood changed dramatically from bored with museums to happy with cute horse riding Officers. I now realize that to have a successful vacation we don’t need interesting things to do we just need cute boys to look at. Fun for Carter, not for Russ.
The Queen Was In
Posted: March 9, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Queen Elizabeth, Windsor Castle Leave a commentToday in England was a rare one since it was at least 18 degrees, that is in Celsius so it was a sunny 65 to my American readers. Such a beautiful day precipitated a visit to the country. Since neither Russ nor Carter had ever been to Windsor we hopped on the train and went out to see the Castle.
Being the weekend the Queen was there, it being her country house and all. We were alerted to that fact by her royal standard flying above the tower. We started our tour with an official royal guide who took us around the outside of the castle. She pointed out where the horrible fire of 1992 started and told us how over 100 rooms of the castle had been affected by the fire, but that only two pieces of movable furniture had been lost and that now the restoration was complete.
After finishing the outside tour we went inside to view the State Apartments for ourselves. Don’t be fooled by the word apartments. When we were in the St. George’s Hall which was the largest room where grand dinner are held that take three days to set the tables for, a docent in the room pointed out to us where the Queen’s personal apartment was across the courtyard. She told us that she had seen the Queen being driven down to church a little more than an hour before. Shoot, we had just missed her.
As Carter and I walked the length of the great hall looking out the windows into the court yard we saw a brand new green Range Rover drive up the gravel drive inside the court yard and pull into the covered area the docent had showed us just moments before. Through the hazy five hundred year old glass Carter and I just caught a glimpse of the Queen as she was let out of the car and went to her door. What are the chances?
We continued going through the rest of the rooms. At one point in a dining room that had very bad damage from the fire, a docent was showing photos to a little English girl who was no more than five. The pictures showed the missing roof and charred walls as well as a melted gold chandelier that was holding on by just a little metal left after all the wood burned away around it. The little girl looked at the terrible picture and in the most earnest voice asked the docent, “Did the Queen cry?” The woman responded as honestly as she could and said, “I don’t know, but I am sure she was sad.”
I wish the Queen could have seen the concern on that little girl’s face as she looked at the pictures of devastation and compared it to the beautiful restorations they have today. All I can say is God save the Queen and thank heaven for the Queen restoring Windsor.
What a Difference a Year Makes
Posted: March 8, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: London 2 CommentsOne year ago Carter and I came to London during the coldest spell they had experienced in years. Even though it snowed and blowed freezing winds our whole week Carter fell madly deeply in love with the city. Being an Anglophile could be genetic. My parents love all things Britannia and figured a way not just once but twice to move here for work in 1979 and again in 1994.
Although I only spent summer and Christmas vacations with my family the first time they lived here since I was in college I too lived here with Russ for five years in the nineties. The only reason we left was that I was pregnant with Carter and retired from working. I guess you could say that Carter’s spent her first five months in the UK even if they were gestational.
Knowing that we only have a couple of spring breaks left before Carter leaves for college and wild breaks with her friends I wanted to make the most of this vacation. When we talked about all the possibilities there was one obvious trip we should take, come back to London and add Paris on to the end, but rather than Carter and I coming alone we had to get Russ to come with us.
So here we are, the three of us in our favorite city. The weather is decidedly un-British, hitting fifty-five. If this luck holds out all week I can only imagine how much more Carter is going to be in love with London. It is going to be interesting to see how Paris compares, they don’t have the same boy bands doing their bidding, but then again the French really don’t care if we love them or not.
Tired of Winter
Posted: March 6, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: winter weather Leave a comment
Another winter weather advisory! I am tired of being cold. I hate to say this because although it has been a longer and colder winter than normal here in North Carolina it has been nothing compared to most of the country. But I don’t live in most of the country. I live in North Carolina for a reason.
About twenty years ago, when Russ and I were first married we lived in New Jersey for one long cold winter. We had fifteen major snowstorms in twelve weeks and to top it off I was working in Canada where it was even colder.
Now living in New Jersey was not fun for me in the first place. I had very few close friends and was somewhat of a fish out of water on the street where we lived. Jim a lineman for the electric company and his wife lived on one side and Jim a lineman for the phone company and his wife lived on the other side of us. All perfectly nice, but we had nothing in common. All I knew about linemen I learned from Glen Campbell.
When Russ decided to look at business schools in the middle of that winter I had two requests: It needed to be in a place with a shorter winter and near a good airport since I would still be flying to my job. Russ was very interested in Dartmouth and Cornell… no and no, for both of my requests. Then North Carolina came up as a contender.
I looked at the weather chart in USA Today as I sat in the Ottawa airport. Negative 20 in Toronto, 5 degrees in Philadelphia, 60 degrees in Durham. It was a no brainer. Please God, I prayed, pick North Carolina. And my prayers were answered.
For the last twenty years I have hardly had to endure a bad winter. Even this one as tiring as it has been is nothing compared to one month of winter in the north. So if you live above the Mason Dixon line and are sick of living through a horrific winter consider moving to Durham. The people are nice, we welcome new people — even Yankees, the living is easy and the winter is better than the one you had where you are now.
When it is cold outside I think back to New Jersey and put the whole thing in perspective — the best part of living here is the neighbors are friends and we have a lot more in common.
Say Cheese
Posted: March 5, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: cheese Leave a comment
Today on the news there was some story about people my age that ate meat and cheese having a higher incidence of cancer, but if you make it to 65 and still eat meat and cheese you have a lower chance of dying from cancer. I think this is a chance I am just going to have to take. I could go fairly long without meat, but once those researchers threw cheese into the study, well that’s a game changer for me.
Cheese is my favorite food. I am not alone in my household in this. Cheese is also Shay Shay’s favorite food. We have a special cheese drawer in the fridge and if anyone cracks that thing open just a hair Shay will jump up from a deep sleep five rooms away and bound to the kitchen and sit awaiting a morsel of cheese.
I know that cheese is one of the most fattening things ounce for ounce we have in our house, but I would rather have a tiny bit of real parmesan than five cookies any day. I’m sure if I removed the cheese drawer for a month I could reach my goal weight, but I can only imagine what life around me would be like.
We are about to go on spring break and I am going to two places that also consider cheese to be national treasurers. I have been doing my best to exercise every waking minute in preparation for the cheese I surly am going to eat on vacation. I am worried that it will be hard to get my 20,000 steps in that my body has become accustomed to walking everyday. Add the extra cheese to perhaps walking less and this vacation could have a negative effect on the scale.
It is a chance I am willing to take. What would the use of traveling to fabulous countries be if you don’t at least taste what they do best? It is only one week.
So to the lands of great cheeses we go without guilt. The only sad thing is that Shay Shay will be staying home and will certainly eating less cheese with her sitter. I guess I know what I should bring her as a treat.
Fat Tuesday
Posted: March 4, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Hurricanes, NOLA, Pat O'Brien's Leave a comment
Today is Mardi gras or translated for non-French speakers — Fat Tuesday. It is amazing the French have anything called Fat, but then again it is just one day. Today is the last day before Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and it gets it name from the tradition that it is the day you get to eat richer foods before you go into the period of fasting during the 40 days of Lent.
Growing up Episcopalian we did not give anything up for Lent. I can only imagine what would have happened if the Mad Men grown ups around me as a child had given up something like liquor. The New Haven Railroad would probably have folded from the loss in revenue in the bar car.
Since we never gave anything up we also did not celebrate Fat Tuesday. The idea of eating richer foods would also go against the skinny mothers around me in the 60’s.
My first introduction to the Mardi gras life was when my Dad happened to have a business trip to New Orleans that coincided with my spring break at boarding school. My sisters did not have vacation so I got to go alone to the big easy with my parents and a wild bunch of my father’s co-workers from Avon — These were real Mad Men and Mad Women, this was Avon after all.
I was all of fourteen, but everyone treated me like I was older. Not such a good thing. One night the whole gang went to Pat O’Brien’s and my father let me drink two hurricanes as the two ladies at the pianos belted out Delta Dawn. The sweet pink drinks went down easy and helped cool my brow in the hot humid night. I don’t remember the two-block walk back to the Royal Orleans where we stayed, but I do remember how nice my bathroom was as I threw up all night. This was probably a good plan on my father’s part because I don’t drink today.
I’m not celebrating Fat Tuesday. Everyday for me is like Lent since I have basically given up sugar, flour and long, long ago liquor, but for those of you who make this your tradition I hope you are having a big time tonight, for tomorrow you fast, and the next day and the next. Well, I’m sure most of you aren’t fasting, but giving up something you value, and sorry giving up eating fruit does not count.
Academy Fashion Snooze
Posted: March 3, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Academy Awards, Oscars 1 Comment
Has anyone ever asked you, “Who are you wearing?” Perhaps with the exception of one time when I had Carter strapped to me in a Baby Bjorn I am almost certain I have never been asked that. Since I have never walked a red carpet or been given any type of award I do not find this unusual. I don’t know that I would want to answer for fear that I might end up on a worst dressed list anyway.
It seems to me that the “awards season” as the late winter months have been come to known in the entertainment business has gotten out of control. Industry congratulating itself is one thing, but the industry around the awards business, such as evening wear, jewelry, shoe, and handbag designers, stylists, hair people, makeup artists, publicists, blah, blah, blah is out of control.
I used to love to watch the academy awards. I love movies and I even used to like movie stats. But the red carpet part is soooo dull. “Who are you wearing?” What I really want to know is, “Are you wearing a foundational garment or is that your real body?” Or “When was the last time you ate something?” Based on last night’s pizza fest run by Ellen DeGeneres, movie stars were hungry.
Rather than awards shows being fashion shows I would like for them to go back to being award shows where the winners get a chance to talk. Yes, sometimes when a film editor wins and gets to drone on thanking all their elementary school teachers it gets boring. But when people who normally read scripts that are other people’s words win and get a chance to speak in their own minds I find it more compelling TV than watching dance numbers or listening to all the nominated songs we already know.
The Oscars should only be two hours long. They already took all those technical awards out and put them in their own untelevised little ceremony, which was right. I want the awards shows to be about people’s work and not about what they are wearing. It is such a contradiction anyway because the best chance a woman has for winning is when she plays the ugliest person she can be. Think back, Susan Sarandon in Dead Man Walking, Hilary Swank in Boys Don’t Cry, Halle Berry in Monster’s Ball, Nichole Kidman in The Hours, Charlize Theron in Monster – Maybe just being in something with the word Monster in the title is a winner.
This year even the men got in on it with Mathew McConaughey having to lose forty-five pounds and look almost dead as a person with Aids in order to win. But the red carpet stalkers even wanted to know what he was wearing like that was important to his performance. I know all these stars have been loaned these clothes and the designers want the pay off, but let’s have that info be in People Magazine or Vogue. I a just happy that regular old people don’t go around asking, “Who are you wearing?” It’s just incorrect unless you have an actual person strapped on to you and oh so boring.
Exercising Is Better With Friends
Posted: March 2, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Pure Barre Leave a comment
Today was the Friends of Dana Pure Barre class and after my blog yesterday complaining about hating to exercise it is amazing anyone showed up. But show up they did and we had a full class of mostly virgins.
Our teacher was good at explaining the moves but was not so easy on us so this was not a Pure Barre Light class. The sweating and groaning started early and that was mostly from me. I have to say that exercising with friends who are more or less my age is the most fun. There was no intimidation about not being able to do all the moves correctly or for the full amount of time.
I am happy if I can do 80% of the tucks, lifts and squeezes and you can forget the hovering an out-stretched leg while lifting another. Someday I hope to be able to pull both my pointed-toe feet into together but for now I will settle for alternating feet.
If you missed this intro class Lynn and Charlotte will do another. If you came today and want to try again let me know and we can go together. There is strength in middle-aged numbers. I guess I really like exercising with my friends who realize it’s not a competition and are happy to laugh along with me.
If our husbands find out what we do with that little red ball we might be in trouble, but for now your secret is safe with me. Rest and watch the Oscars tonight, we deserve a guilty pleasure and there are no calories in TV watching.
After class we could still hold our arms up, we just couldn’t stand up.
I Still Hate Exercising
Posted: March 1, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: exercise, walking Leave a commentIt’s been about six weeks since I upped my step goal from 10,000 steps a day to 20,000. With only a couple of exceptions I have met my goal, but the average is well over 20,000 steps. This has been hard some days because 20,000 steps just takes a huge amount of time.
This morning since it was Saturday and I did not have any pressing engagements and my husband was actually home I had a big lie in and did not walk at all before noon. Big mistake! After Carter and I met our friends Hannah and Campbell at the mall for some spring clothes shopping I still needed a butt load of steps when we got home at 4:30. I got on my tread mill and powered through them into the evening.
I watched the counter on my phone app as each 100 steps would get me closer to that 20,000 mark. The second I hit the number I jumped off that machine and dragged myself to the kitchen to get dinner. No matter how long I exercise I don’t ever reach the point I actually like doing it.
I am waiting for the day that the endorphins come knocking on my door and say, “Hey, aren’t you ecstatic you just lifted 145 pounds or walked nine miles!” Basically I hate exercising. I could go to the movies or do some craft project all day long for the rest of my life and be really happy. If I were captured by pirates and made to play Mah Jongg forever I don’t think I would really mind, actually I think that is called a Mah Jongg cruise. But if I were put on an island paradise and told I had to exercise all day I might say just go ahead and kill me now.
I know exercise is good for me and is helping rid me of excess fat, why else would I spend so much time doing it. I just don’t love it. I’d rather cook dinner or even do the laundry. If you are one of those lucky people who loves to exercise count your stars It must be nice to love doing something so good for you.
Don’t Let Me Buy More Black Pants
Posted: February 28, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: black pants, cleaning, closet Leave a comment
Today I did a task that has been on my list for months. I tried on all my hanging clothes in three closets. Don’t think I have so many clothes because I have three closets. We just live in an old fashioned house with small closets.
Not that long ago I moved all the clothes that were really too big out and was left with the clothes I knew fit right then and the clothes I wanted to fit into in the future. Well I figured the future was getting close enough so I wanted to try everything on and sort the clothes. The categories were: clothes I loved and could fit into right now and were season appropriate, ones that were out of season or about to be out of season but fit, clothes that would fit when I lose five to ten pounds that I love, clothes that are just too big and even though I love them I should not wear them, and the what was I thinking buying that I never want to wear it not matter how thin I get.
I looked like one of the clothes guys on seventh avenue rolling racks of clothes down the street as I tried on and shuffled things between rooms. I think it was most horrifying for Carter who came up to my floor as I was rolling the rack down the hall in only my bra and granny panties. Surely I have scared her for life.
After all the sorting I put the love it and can wear it now clothes in my primary closet in an organized, short sleeve blouses, long sleeve blouses, sweaters, pants, dresses, suits in rainbow order. These were clothes that I have bought over a number of years, as I have been this size a couple of times. What was very evident is that I never need to buy black pants this size ever again. Black pants out numbered any other group of clothing by at least four to one. White blouses were a distant second. Based on those two things you would think I was a waitress or a young Mormon man.
Tomorrow I get to tackle the folded clothes in various dresser drawers. Then it’s time to take on the shoes. I know I have pairs that are twice as old as my teenager and they need to go. Shoes are easy since now I don’t wear anything that is not comfortable so I bet I can get down to about six pairs. Let’s hope they are not all brown since I only have black pants.
Arizona On The Wrong Side of History
Posted: February 26, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: anit-gay, Arizona, Jan Brewer, SB 1062 1 Comment
A bunch of state politicians in Arizona came up with this bill, SB1062 that allows business owner to refuse service to anyone they want based on the owner’s religious beliefs. The people supporting the bill say that it is not an anti-gay bill, but a religious freedom bill. Come on people. Religious freedom means you have the right to worship who and what you want, it does not mean that as a business you can pick and chose who to serve.
Nothing about your religion says you have to have a business, but if you do then you should serve all customers equally. If this bill passes then not only will prejudice people find an excuse not to serve gay people but also all minorities could be in jeopardy based on the way this bill is written. Any shortsighted, bigoted business owner could say their religion does not believe in African Americans, or Native Americans or Hispanics.
Business owners are down right crazy not to want to serve gay people. Don’t they know they have more discretionary income than the average bigoted white guy? If the gay community likes your business that usually means you are on the way up. If you want to buy a house in an up and coming neighborhood when there is a lot of potential to make big bucks find out where the gay men are moving. They are good for improving the neighborhood for sure. Lesbians are loyal customers. Once you have a devoted Lesbian following you will have steady income because if they like you they will be back and bring friends.
Gay rights are the civil right of our time. Arizona is not only behind the times but taking more than a few huge steps backwards in history by even getting this bill this far. Governor Jan Brewer is taking too long to veto this bill. She says she will do what is right for Arizona, but the damage is done. Those of us who have gay people themselves should not step foot in that state and give them any of our hard earned dollars. Religious freedom is one thing, but lack of revenue is what worries most business owners.
Smash Day
Posted: February 25, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: breasts, mammogram 1 Comment
Losing weight when you have extra pounds is a good thing, right? But where it comes off and in what order is something most people just have control over. I seem to melt like a candle losing from the top down with a little bit of losing from the bottom up with my feet getting thinner long before my thighs.
One area on the top that seems to go fast are my boobs, which is not a bad thing because if they did not get smaller as the rest of me did I would probably fall over. The real problem is that the fat disappears but the skin sticks around. Now my boobs are like blueberry pancakes with one blueberry each.
Thank goodness for modern day shape wear that can hoist, hold, mold and cup my malleable breasts into a more pleasing shape and no one is the wiser that I could tie them in a knot and throw them over my shoulder like a continental soldier. That is until today.
Today was my annual smash day or mammogram day to use the correct terminology. If you are a man or a woman under forty you don’t have intimate knowledge of the contraption they use to smash down a woman’s breasts to the flattest possible shape to take pictures of them. In the mammogram community my kind of soft tissue, stretched out and pliable breasts are a bonus for the smash tech. She can lay them on out and lower the clear plastic smasher cover on me without any trouble. The pictures she snaps are perfect first take. In the mammo tech world I am the client that gets them back on schedule.
So hooray that today my flabbiness made someone happy. I appreciate the tech’s comments that I was the patient of the day. I know why and she did not even have to spell it out. Thanks for not mentioning my soft breast tissue like bra fitters do when they are trying to come up with the right bra to act as scaffolding for my chest yet is still comfortable.
364 days a year my boobs are usually undesirable, but one day, the day dedicated to their health they are just right. No matter what kind of breasts you have get them smashed once a year. Don’t listen to those men who think you don’t need a mammogram every year. Get one anyway. Whatever shape you are in you need to take care of them.
Giving Yourself Credit
Posted: February 24, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: fitbit, pre-nup Leave a comment
I like credit. Not the kind that involves money but the kind you get when you do something good. That could explain why I am addicted to my fitbit. I like getting credit for every step I walk. I wear the thing to bed not so it can track how well I’m sleeping, but so it can count the 32 steps I take when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.
I hate when I get an e-mail from my fitbit that tells me the battery is low in the middle of the day because it worries me to death that it is going to stop working before I have a chance to recharge and I will take a bunch of steps and get no credit for them. I don’t know why it matters. Only a couple of friends are part of my fitbit community and they don’t give two shakes if I get 140,000 steps in a week or 40,000. Whatever this addiction is it is working for me. Counting, credit, accountability I’m addicted to them all as long as they are created, and counted by me!
I was talking to a friend today who told me about someone who married a much older and much richer man who put a clause in her pre-nup agreement that said if she gained ten pounds he was allowed to divorce her. Now that kind of accountability would work the total opposite on me. I don’t like when someone else tells me what to do or sets the parameters for how I am supposed to live. If I were married to that man I probably would gain the weight on purpose just to see what he would do. I can’t imagine living under that kind of dictatorship.
I am sure that wife did not get credit for keeping to her weight range. It was demanded so then it’s like a punishment and not a reward. I wonder what other stipulations were in that pre-nup? I’m sure that husband demanded his own kind of regular rewards. That’s not a marriage; I think it’s called something else you pay for.
So many times people ask me how I’ve lost weight and then ask me if I could talk to one of their loved ones they wish would lose weight. That is where I stop them. No one can talk someone into wanting to lose weight. Each person has to come to that decision on their own and only then will it be possible to happen. It can’t be a clause in their life.
I take credit for what I have done, but I am thankful for the help my loved ones have given me. I am mostly thankful that I have been loved at every weight up and down the scale. I give my loved ones credit for their support.
Mindlessly Ruining a Good Look
Posted: February 23, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: chewing, gum 2 Comments
When I was in boarding school I had plenty of friends who smoked cigarettes. They were allowed to do it at any age as long as they had permission from their parents. There was one room, the butt room where they were allowed to smoke and it was a disgusting and fowl smelling room that never tempted me to visit.
I once asked a friend who was a smoker why she did not smoke outside rather than in the gross butt room. She said that a lady should never be seen smoking outside and the butt room kept her allusion of being a lady. I think that Jackie Kennedy, who attended a rival school to mine, followed this rule. There are no pictures of Jackie smoking even though she was a reported butt addict.
Today I was at a the grocery and I saw a very elegant lady, dressed in a St. John Knit suit get out of her new Mercedes coupe. She was at least ten years older than I was and I thought she looked so nice compared to me in my tennis shoes and khakis. That was until I looked at her face and saw her jaw bobbing up and down, mouth half opened as she chew a piece of gum. She mashed away on the gum with no idea that she resembled a cow chewing its cud out in a field alone. If only she were alone.
Just as “ladies” of the last century were schooled in the no smoking in public graces it seems like chewing gum needs to have a similar campaign. Today’s St. John lady lost all elegant points because of the little wad of gum. Perhaps it was nicotine gum and she needed it because she is not allowed to smoke inside public places anymore, but it that was the case she needs to learn about the patch.
I wish I had been bold enough to videotape her to show you how unattractive the gum chewing was, but then I surely could be sued for deformation of character if this woman ever saw my blog.
My mother started smoking when she was young because her mother told her to have a cigarette to help curb her appetite. I know some people who chew gum to help them not eat. Listen, the calories are worth not making you look a barnyard animal. Gum chewing is fine in the privacy of your own home or car; just remember to spit it out before encountering the public. Just don’t spit it on the ground that is littering.
Harris Beverage Good Guys
Posted: February 22, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Budweiser, Food Bank of Central and Eastern NC, Harris Beverage 1 Comment
A few months ago my neighbor and friend Jay Harris who owns Harris Beverages the local Budweiser and other craft beer distributor told me about how much fun he had when he went to an national meeting and all the beer guys volunteered at the local food bank. Knowing I am the chair of the Food Bank of Central and Eastern NC he asked me if we had volunteer opportunities at our food bank. “Boy, do we,” came out of my mouth as fast as if I was a child being asked do you want candy and cookies for lunch.
See our food bank is in the top ten of the two hundred Feeding America Food Banks across the country in terms of volunteer utilization. We have seven branches in our thirty-four counties and everyday we have volunteers working in our branches that more than double our paid work force.
Jay and I started to talk about what might be a good one-day job for Harris Beverages to do as a team building exercise for the whole company. Now people can come and sort food, package potatoes or do any number of valuable jobs, but there was one thing I had in mind that was made for a group of strong men with big trucks so I floated the idea to Jay to have Harris help the Durham branch move from it’s old location to it’s new bigger branch.
The cost of moving would be thousands of real dollars to us if we had to pay for it. Paying to move would have taken food away from people who need it. If it cost us $8,000 that would equal $80,000 worth of food since we can turn every dollar into ten dollars worth of food. But moving our warehouse was a big job. Jay did not hesitate and got right on working out all the logistics with our staff.
This morning Harris beer trucks, pallet jacks and employees showed up early on a Saturday morning and moved us. I hope they had fun because I know it was a big job. That is the kind of corporate giving back that makes Harris a wonderful Durham company. Thank you Jay for not even blinking an eye when I suggested helping with the move as a volunteer opportunity. I am proud you are my friend.
To all the citizens of Durham and Chapel Hill if you are thinking about buying a beer this week or this month buy a Bud, or a Big Boss, Carolina Brewery, Sweet Water or a New Leaf Tea if you don’t like beer. No one made Jay Harris volunteer to help the Food Bank. We don’t give beer away as part of our mission to make sure no one in Central in Eastern NC goes hungry, but Jay wanted to do something to help us and boy did all those Harris Employees ever help. So thank them by buying a beer.
Virgin No More
Posted: February 20, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Charlotte, Lynn, Pure Barre 1 Comment
For years my friend Lynn has been addicted to Pure Barre. If you have not heard of this exercise obsession you might be living under a rock in North Korea or you are a middle-aged man. The Barre, said like bar and has nothing to do with drinking, stands for the wooden ballet barre attached to the mirrored wall. I don’t know why it’s called Pure because plenty of the exercises are done in the middle of the room with no bar to hold onto.
Lynn would ask me every once in a while if I wanted to go to class with her. Since I was emotionally scared by my Russian ballet teacher Martha Kruger when I was ten I tend to stay away from those wooden dowels attached to mirrors. Fear of being whapped on the back of the knees by a swift yardstick is a strong bad memory not to be repeated.
After years of being a student of Pure Barre Lynn and our friend Charlotte bought not just the existing Chapel Hill studio, but built a new one in Durham. The craze was spreading and it was time for me to see what all these friends claiming their lifted derrieres was due to this class was all about.
Since I was a Pure Barre virgin and I was not interested in going to a class of well trained, well toned, very young people I asked Lynn to go with me. Lynn is two of those three things so I knew she would look out for me.
The first thing I really liked about the class was the clothing rules, pants at least Capri length and shirts that covered your middle are required, check and check. I refuse to put anyone through a class with me that shows my bare stomach. The third clothing item is socks, but sticky socks are recommended. Lucky for me Lynn hooked me up with a pair of the branded sticky socks that are supposed to help you stay in place.
As we entered the carpeted room where Rita out instructor was, Lynn staked out the perfect spot and gathered the equipment I would need, hand weights, a small red rubber ball like a grade school four square ball, but just the size of a cantaloupe, and looped stretchy bands.
The class began and clearly I was the only new student. Rita helped me but there was only so much help I could get when planking. Most of the exercises were familiar to a point until we got to tucking. Tucking involved something akin to tilting my pelvis in and pulling my butt under me as much as possible. I certainly do not have a grasp on exactly how to do it so don’t bank on my description. I do think that twerking had to evolve out of tucking, but I am not exactly sure what twerking is either.
As others around me could hold one leg in the air, while lying on their back, tuck and lift to a pulsating beat I was just trying not to drown in the sweat pool I was creating around myself. Perhaps I needed doubly sticky socks for some exercises that involved holding myself in place by one foot on the ground while lifting all my other parts.
When it was all over Rita said I did a good job for a first time student. What was really nice of her not to say was I did really well for an uncoordinated, non-dancer, non-gymnast, and non-athlete middle-aged woman with no rhythm. Other students gathered around me as I lay immobilized on the mat after class and told me it takes a little while to master the moves and then it gets harder.
When they said harder I hope they were talking about their backsides and not the class. It was hard enough. Like all things exercise I know that it takes a few tries before it should be judged. I am measuring how low my butt is now and after I do this Pure Barre thing a while I will report if my backside is lifted. Since I rarely look back there it has not been a big area of concern for me, but that seems awfully selfish to those people who have to walk behind me.
Not Killed By My Pants
Posted: February 19, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: workout wear, yoga pants 1 Comment
A couple of weeks ago my trainer looked at me in my stretchy workout/yoga pants and told me I need to buy some smaller ones. Really? Stretchy black tight pants that have not worn out are just fine with me especially if they are not skin tight. I am never going to wear a pair of those things out when I only wear them to work out and don’t live in them like real athletes do. I also have no need for total body hugging since it is not like I am running so fast and am worried about drag. The only drag I like is the kind that my Washington friends do when they borrow my old formal wear.
I had noticed that I had a little more room in the thighs of my yoga pants, an area that is almost always the tightest spot on me, but I was kind of enjoying non-thigh-clinging pants. The idea of having to go try on athletic wear, even in a smaller size is not my idea of fun. In the world of tight bodies I am still a non-performer. The women who work out for a living and work at workout wear stores just for the discounts look at me as a failure athlete.
If I had a giant paper cutout of what I used to look like a hundred and forty five pounds ago they might treat me differently, but since I am still not a hard body and probably never will be, I am dismissed as a person who is buying yoga pants because they are stretchy and forgiving and not because I might actually do yoga, or lift weights or walk 20,000 steps a day, which by the way is over nine miles of my pitiful strides.
I continued to wear my baggy pants. That was until yesterday when I was walking at my treadmill desk at a brisk 3.2 miles per hour that is almost running for me and my pants fell down. I am happy to report I was coordinated enough not to have been dragged under the belt of the treadmill and strangled by my pants.
So my trainer was right. I needed to stop wearing those too big pants. I went to my trusty closet of dreams where the too small clothes live and found a lovely pair of barley used workout pants that seemed to fit the size I am now just fine. The thigh area is a little tighter, the butt is definitely not as lose, but hey I did not have to go to one of those stores that makes me feel badly about myself.
I wish that the same people who conceived the Dove beauty campaign that celebrates all types of women would move into the workout wear segment. If all women were praised for working out the body they have and not made to feel like they are unworthy if they don’t already have a perfect body then the sales of workout clothes would soar. I doubt I will get to be a smaller size in yoga pants than the pair I am wearing now so I am going to have to baby the few ones I have. I am happy with myself and don’t need to go in a store and have an hourly worker make me feel otherwise.
Compliments Go a Long Way
Posted: February 18, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: crown, Dentist Leave a commentToday I got my second of two crowns in the New Year. Not my favorite thing to do, but better than the alternative. I have a really nice young Dentist, Andrew who came into his father’s practice a couple of years ago. I lay silently and still in the chair following all the instructions Andrew gave me as he checked and adjusted the tiny new molar. When we were almost done he said to me, “You are a really good patient.”
I thought it was a funny compliment. I just did as I was told and why wouldn’t I? I figure if I do something wrong it would make his job harder and that might cause me pain. Rather than asking what makes a good patient I just took the compliment and reveled in being good at something even if it was as small as being still and compliant.
Accepting compliments is an art I feel is under appreciated. So often when I tell a grown woman she looks good that day the comeback is hardly ever just, “Thank you.” More often than not the laudation is met with some discounting. “Oh no. The bags under my eyes are horrible,” or “I have not even had a shower today.” Those statements are not meaning to fish for more compliments, but they sometimes end up making me intensify the original statement. What I should say is, “Wow, if you look this good dirty imagine how great you would look if you put some effort in it.”
By not responding to my Dentist’s comment I was able to just enjoy being told I was good at something which does not happen as often as we need once we get to adulthood. Perhaps he did not mean to even say it out loud, but I’m glad he did. It made my day a little better and smoothed over any feeling I had about having to get the crown in the first place.
I have no idea if Andrew tells all his patients they are good, but his tone sounded very sincere. It seems like it would be the best client retention program ever if when you left the dentist you felt a little better about yourself and not just that your teeth looked better.
I think this practice could be adopted by all kinds of service providers. When my plumbers come to my house they could tell me that I have the cleanest toilets. When I go for my annual annual (you women know what I am talking about) the Doctor could tell me I’m really good at putting my feet in those stirrups.
It’s just a better practice than telling people they aren’t good at things. Like when I walk through a department store and a lady at the cosmetic counter asks a question like, “What are you using on your face? I have something much better.” Yes, you may have something better, but do you think I want to talk to you now that you have insulted me?
So give someone a sincere compliment tomorrow. I hope they can accept it and enjoy it. Not only will you brighten their day, but they will probably think a little more kindly of you. That’s a win win.
Happy President’s Day
Posted: February 17, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Washington Leave a comment
Today is the holiday known as Presidents’ Day as well as Washington’s Birthday or Washington and Lincoln’s Birthday. It also happens to be my friends from college Suzanne and Rena’s birthday too! Seems like a good enough reason to celebrate.
When I was a kid we had both Washington’s Birthday off and Lincolns even though they both fell in February. Then along came the Martin Luther King birthday day — off in January and Washington and Lincoln got lumped together because the government was just giving away too many holidays!
Who knows when the next politician or great social leader is going to appear and be worthy of a holiday? Seems like with all the media we have on people it is going to be tough for anyone else to be clean enough to warrant getting a day of their own.
I am not in the mood to reward any politicians except for one who might be able to bring back the art of negotiation and compromise. That seems like a tall order given the polarization of the parties.
It seems to me that President’s Day is a lower ranking Holiday than most and I wonder if that is because since it is now named for all the President’s we are averaging how worthy they all were. I have not heard of anyone lobbying for a national holiday for Pierce, Tyler or Harding. According to a ranking done by great American Historian Arthur Schlesinger, Jr. there are only three Presidents who rank in the “Great” rating, Lincoln, Washington and Franklin D. Roosevelt. There are seven in the “Failure” ranks, Pierce, Grant, Hoover, Nixon, Andrew Johnson, Buchanan and Harding. These rankings were not Schlesinger’s opinion alone, but a poll taken of a large group of famous University Historians and scholars like Doris Kearns Goodwin.
Have we diluted the importance of the original day by honoring all the Presidents no matter how effective they were? My suggestion is we lump President’s Day together with Martin Luther King’s birthday and have one holiday called Great Leader’s Day. Anytime someone comes up that we are thinking we should honor we could throw him or her into that day. No discussion needed, just jump on in.
This would free up a lot of congressional time not arguing and voting on new holidays so they could spend time actually solving real problems. Not that I actually think congress is capable of solving real problems. I just want to take away all the excuses for wasting time on things like ‘Flag Burning,” deciding if we need “Emergency Chiropractors,” or a “Jay Walking Database” – real bills –look it up.
So today is Great Leaders and Great Friends birthday to me. One day is no different than the next to a middle aged woman without full time employment I just like a reason to celebrate without argument.
Broccoli Cheese Soup
Posted: February 16, 2014 Filed under: Recipes | Tags: broccoli, cheese, onions, soup. carrots Leave a comment
I went to the movies with my friend Lynn this afternoon rather than write my blog, or cook dinner. When I got home late I decided I could throw together a soup to satisfy both needs.
1 softball-sized onion chopped
2 carrots- peeled and chopped
A bunch of fresh thyme tied together in a bundle or 1 T. dried Thyme
2 cups chicken stock
3 big stalks of broccoli
1 can of fat free evaporated milk
1 cup of shredded cheese- I used three kinds, cheddar, parm and jarlsburg
Salt and Pepper
In a big stockpot sprayed with Pam cook the onion on medium heat to soften for about five minutes. Add the carrots and thyme and cook another three minutes stirring every so often.
Bring a separate saucepan with two inches of water in it to a boil. Cut the trunks from the broccoli and using a vegetable peeler peel away all the tough outside parts of the broccoli and then chop the trunks up and put in the boiling sauce pan and cook about five minutes until they are tender.
Roughly chop the remaining tops of the broccoli and set aside.
Add the chicken stock to the main big stockpot with the onions and carrots and bring to a simmer.
After the broccoli stalks are cooked use a slotted spoon and remove them from the boiling water and add them to the main stockpot with the onions mixture.
Add the rest of the broccoli tops to the boiling water in the saucepan and cook that for two minutes or until it is tender. Drain that broccoli and add it to the main stockpot. If you used a bundle of thyme remove it from the pot now scraping as many little leaves off into the soup as you can. Add the can of evaporated milk and bring the whole mixture to a boil and reduce to simmer for two minutes. Take the pot off the heat and using a stick blender blend the soup slightly, leaving the vegetables a little big.
Put the pot back on medium heat add the cheese and stir the soup just so the cheese melts, about a minute. Salt and Pepper and serve.
Dancing Fun
Posted: February 15, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: valentines dance 2 Comments
Last night a group I am part of had a Valentines dinner dance. After the snow days of the last three nights it was great to get out of the house, dress in non-thermal clothes, catch up with friends, eat a dinner that someone else made and dance.
This Valentines dance is not Russ’ idea of the perfect way to celebrate, but it certainly got him off the hook to come up with a better plan. I guess that his agreeing to go should have been seen as his gift to me. Not that Russ is anti-social, but dancing is not his first choice activity.
After a nice cocktail hour and a dinner at long elegant tables set in the ballroom that reminded Russ of a Harry Potter Hogwarts set up, the band came out. The lead singer, Gwen had been my friend Stephanie’s nanny when her kids were little so of course I wanted to support her and do some dancing. It was the polite thing to do.
I had already walked almost 20,000 steps before I got to the party so I also thought dancing might be a way to get to a higher step milestone and reach 30,000 steps in one day, a level I have never reached. As the three singers dressed in red sequin tops and tight red slacks with very high heels belted out one classic after another Russ willing stayed on the dance floor with me.
Friend Holley said to Laura the ever-present photographer, “Get a picture, the Lange’s have never spent so much time on the dance floor.” For the almost two hour first set we danced to every song, well I danced to every song. Russ was allowed to be a spectator with the other husbands when the majority of women took the stage as back-up singers to my favorite tune, “Proud Mary.”
After doing all that rolling on the river I finally gave Russ his valentine’s gift of getting to go home. It was eleven at night on a Friday and he had hardly slept more than four hours the night before. As soon as we left the no-wifi ballroom I pulled out my phone to see how many steps I had added during the dance-a-thon. I was shocked that in two hours of dancing I had only gotten 6,000 more steps. What a disappointment. My day ended with just over 26,000 steps. Yes, it was a record for me, but not a milestone in the world of fitbit, no congratulatory e-mail, no virtual badge, nothing.
Although I did not reach the mountain top I did have a very fun night with my sweetheart. He did sacrifice and dance and dance and dance with me. Dancing for exercise is probably better than just walking so I am looking it that way. I just wish my dumb fitbit had a way to give me credit for arm movement and hip shaking.
Valentines Advice For All
Posted: February 14, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: valentine's day 1 Comment
Valentines Day needs to go back to being a day for grade school kids to trade small snoopy cards with corny, but true sayings like, “Love is a warm puppy.” For most of us the pressure is too great to have one day where we must declare our love for our sweetie in the grandest form, or even worse for those without a one special someone it makes you feel even more alone.
No “holiday,” especially a Hallmark one, should make people feel badly, yet those in love have every right to celebrate. But really if you have someone in your life who makes the sun shine brighter, the wind feel less cold and a peach taste sweeter you don’t need a declarative day to celebrate how blessed you are.
For anyone for whom this day makes you want to stay under the covers I have a few bits of advice:
- Loving yourself is most important. If you don’t like you it makes it hard to recognize when others love you.
- Friends of the same gender are as important as a sweet heart.
- Don’t concentrate your efforts on one person who does not appear to know you are alive.
- Real people are not like celebrities and don’t walk around as airbrushed as movies stars, so stop looking for someone who might show up on Entertainment Tonight.
- If you are looking at someone who is not looking at you, turn around and look at who might be looking at you.
- More importantly, listen to what others are saying and stop listening with your eyes. The right person for you might not make a swimsuit issue.
- Life is long and when you do find someone you want to love him or her forever. Looks will fade, but funny lasts forever.
- Everyone needs someone who will hold his or her hand in public at every age. If you find that you have found gold.
- A dog will always love you.
For those who have a sweetheart I have this advice for you:
- Love yourself first; it makes it easier for others to love you.
- Friends of the same gender are as important as a sweet heart.
- Ignore people who don’t know you are alive.
- Don’t worry about your wrinkles; if you ever are on Entertainment Tonight they can airbrush them.
- Don’t turn around to see who is looking at you it will just cause trouble.
- Listen to your sweetheart and don’t ask them how you look in your swimsuit.
- Laugh at your darling’s jokes, even if they are not funny.
- Hold hands, everywhere at every age.
- Your dog will always love you.
Triple Shoveling Workout
Posted: February 13, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: shoveling, snow Leave a comment
As a child of Connecticut I learned that the earlier you shovel snow the easier it is. As a southern resident my neighbors often accost me about my need to shovel while snow is still coming down.
“Why don’t you just walk with us in the snow?” a friend asked as she passed by while I was pushing the light fluffy flakes from my walkway last evening. “It’s still coming down, what’s the use?”
I don’t love snow. I guess I had enough of it as a child to keep me for the rest of my life. Yes it is beautiful to look at, especially when it just falls, but as it melts and refreezes, or turns a grey dingy color from being mixed with the dirt in the world, or worse yet, yellow from visiting dogs, it does not hold that same magic it does when it is small silent flakes floating to the ground.
Last night I shoveled our front walkways. There was not much need, I did it for the exercise and so I did not have to put on full winter boots every time I needed to take Shay out to make snow yellow. Then the freezing rain came so this morning I got up early and chopped up the crispy layer on my shoveled path and threw it to the side of the walkway.
Now it is snowing again. Carter announced the path was filling in. Ah, but it wasn’t hard heavy snow, just another layer of light and fluffy. I went out and with ease I pushed away the newest layer before it has a chance to melt and refreeze and become tough and heavy snow that refreezes into ice overnight.
Shoveling is the kind of workout I like to do. It is full body, aerobic and free. I do get a few steps while doing it, nothing like the treadmill, but I have the added bonus of getting core and arm workout. We had a gravel driveway so there is no way to have fun shoveling that. It would be a lot more useful if I could clear a path for cars, but I hate to throw the gravel into the lawn and unfortunately that is what I end up doing in the driveway.
Perhaps I like shoveling because it reminds me of the carefree days of my youth, not that I ever shoveled willing as a child. I am sure that my mother had to scream plenty at me to go outside and shovel. My father had a snow blower since we had a very long driveway and it was the north after all, but it was started with a rope pull, something I was never very good at. An old fashioned metal shovel was my tool of choice. Now I have a better plastic model that is much improved over the cold metal types.
If you are reading this in North Carolina consider going out and shoveling now. The longer you wait the worse the job gets. And if you do it long enough you can enjoy an extra cup of coco without guilt. If you chose to stay inside, no worries, it is going to be 45 degrees tomorrow and it will all be melted by dinnertime. This is North Carolina after all.
The Best Medicine
Posted: February 12, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: baby Chick 1 Comment
Day five of being home with Carter and her concussion, no thinking, no reading, no TV, no fun mode. It is enough to drive us all crazy. Our friends Lynn, better known as Baby Chick at our house and her daughter Ellis came by for a check-in-cheer up-half-day of-school visit. It was a great distraction to have them here as the snow started to come down.
As we are known to do with our daughters Lynn and I started telling stories. Lynn told Carter of her many falls from her horse Flika, with no helmet on and no grown-ups checking her for concussion. If you know Baby Chick it explains a lot.
I related the story of my being hit by a truck on Mykonos while I was riding a moped with no helmet on. I dislocated my hip, broke my leg and broke my arm in that accident, but was lucky enough to not hit my head.
In that accident I flew over the hood of the truck, which was my choice rather than veering away from it over the side of a mountain, I went twenty feet in the air, flipped and landed on my butt. Fat saved my life. As soon as I realized I could think and was therefore alive I looked down at my hip, which was a good six inches away from where I thought it should be. My first thought was, “I’ve gained a lot of weight on vacation.” It was then I realized that my hip was out of it’s joint and I pushed it back into the socket myself. I was just thankful about the non-weight gain.
My friend David took me to the Vet slash Doctor on the island where he was told by the dubious medical professional there that I was a Strong American Woman and would survive this accident.
As I told the story Lynn piped in and said, “Oh Yeah, you are a STW.” I burst out laughing to the point I gasped for air, and said, “STW? What does the T stand for?” Lynn then joined me in the three-minute bellyaching as our daughter looked on in themselves when laughing is something that horrifies the average fifteen-year-old girl.
Eventually Baby Chick was able to compose herself and explain the ST was for “Strong” she forgot the “American” and threw in the “W” for “Woman.” I think it was the best medicine for Carter to see that if she does not rest her brain until her headache goes away she could end up like Baby Chick and me. Who knows how many head injuries we have had between us.
My Childhood Idol
Posted: February 11, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Shirley temple 1 Comment
Nobody ever loved Shirley Temple more than I did. When I was a kid a local TV station played one of her movies every Sunday afternoon and I never missed one. There played the same 20 movies over and over. As the world around me was rocking out to Janis Joplin I was singing, “On the good ship Lollipop.” It used to drive my father crazy that I would sob uncontrollably as the sweet mop top little girl would face adversities like being an orphan or losing her beloved grandfather. “It just a movie,” he would tell me trying to consol me, but annoyed at the same time with my Shirley obsession.
Shirley Temple toped the movie box office for three years in a row during the height of the depression when movies were the major form of entertainment with little competition. I watched her feel happy flicks during the turbulent late sixties and seventies. Like people during the depression I was blocking out things I did not understand like the war in Vietnam and hippies.
I think I used Shirley Temple movies to learn history, like the Boer War in The Little Princess or the civil war in The Littlest Rebel. It is amazing I ever went to boarding school myself after watching how Shirley was treated in Captain January and The Little Princess. I also thought that I was an unusual girl since I had both my real parents, neither sang nor danced for a living and the mob was not after us.
Life in Shirley Temple movies was either more glamorous or more destitute than my suburban Connecticut upbringing, but I was addicted to those stories and that sweet girl. I loved when she would look right in the camera and say, “Oh my goodness.” She was clean cut, sometimes sad, more times joyous and so cute.
One of my dear friend’s Tricia and her husband Danny bought Shirley Temple’s Potomac, MD house where she lived during her years in Foreign Service. I always felt that going to their house was almost like getting to meet her. They had a room size safe and I imagined what important mementos she must have stored there.
Shirley Temple is the child star all child actors need to emulate. The day she was given her junior size Oscar award, she said “thank you Mr. Whoever gave it to her,” turned to her mother who was always by her side and said, “Mother, can we go home now?”
Shirley Temple has gone home, but she will always live forever on the big screen and in my heart. I never was embarrassed that as an adolescent I loved Shirley Temple and her living a superlative life she has never let me down.
Olympic Watching Cabbage, Onions and Eggs
Posted: February 10, 2014 Filed under: Recipes | Tags: cabbage, eggs, onions Leave a comment
In the spirit of the Olympics and wanting to use up a cabbage that was in my veg drawer I made up this three-ingredient dish that is reminiscent of Russian peasant food. It does not look or sound as appetizing as it tastes, but on a cold dark snowy night it will keep you warm and satisfied.
1 small green cabbage shredded
1 medium onion thinly sliced
4 eggs – beaten
Salt and Pepper
Spray a large skillet with Pam and place the cabbage and the onions in it on a medium heat. Cook, turning the vegetables often for about ten minutes, until they are wilted and the cabbage is not giving out any more liquid. Salt and pepper the vegetables. Pour the eggs into the pan with the veg and stir until the eggs are lightly cooked, about one minute. Taste for seasoning, more pepper is better.
Serve immediately
Soldier On
Posted: February 9, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: jan, kim. blake, rex, wedding shower 4 Comments
In the life goes on mode I threw an engagement shower today for our wonderful friends Jan and Rex’s daughter Kim and her betrothed Blake. Since they had moved to Texas almost four years ago we had a hard time finding a date when we could get all these longhorns back East so the North Carolina crowd could meet Blake before the wedding. Not that Kim needed our blessing, but we were still excited and wanted to fete them.
After much work with calendars Jan and I discovered that today at 2:00 was absolutely the only time we would all be able to gather. So I sent out invitations for a Tea Party Shower, what else could possibly happen on a Sunday afternoon? I knew it was going to be tight to get the whole thing together since Russ and I were going to be out of town until yesterday afternoon, but making finger sandwiches and scones is something I thought I could do in my sleep.
Best laid plans… I never anticipated spending a lifetime in the ER yesterday and having a child with a concussion, terrible headaches and no short-term memory. Today she is not really improved much and the doctor’s order of “no thinking until her headache goes away” is much harder to do than you can imagine.
Despite all that we had a shower today. The happy couple is darling together. It was great to actually meet the groom and see how well he and Kim are suited for each other. I have known Kim for twenty years and it is hard to believe that she is going to be a “Sadie, Sadie, married lady,” as we sing in our best Funny Girl way.
The guests arrived just as I was baking the dried cherry heart shaped scones and putting out the chicken salad, pimento cheese, smoked salmon and cream cheese and cucumber sandwiches. All these things along with the sea salt brownies are forbidden to me, only the lone bowl of red grapes were in my food choice group.
Thank goodness people came hungry and ate and ate and even took a few things home. With the stress of the last two days I easily could have slathered a scone with cream and jam or popped a chicken salad finger in my mouth, but I withheld. I feel like that is a huge turning point.
Now if I can just help Carter recover quickly and not miss too much school I think I can maintain my don’t handle stress with food regime. Life is long and sometimes we just have to soldier on.
The Chef and the Farmer Trip
Posted: February 8, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Ben Knight, Kinston, NC, the bentley, the chef and the farmer 2 Comments
If you are a PBS devotee, a locavore, a reality TV Junkie, someone born east of I-95 in North Carolina, a chef or a farmer you may have heard of the best show on PBS that was made in America. It’s a first season hit called “A Chef’s Life” that chronicles how Eastern NC girl Vivian Howard escaped the rural life to become a chef in NYC and once married to her front of the house and artist husband Ben Knight, was lured back to her birth place by her parents with the promise of a restaurant of their own.
Russ and I heard about the TV show and since we both love food and all things documentary we did our favorite thing and binged watched it in three nights before Christmas. The show about Vivian and Ben told in each episode through the lens of one local ingredient laid out the tale of the creating a successful restaurant in the unlikely place of Kinston, NC, the demise from a fire, the rebuilding and the flourishing with a few hiccups due to order entry systems and the like, all while having twins and building a new house for themselves.
Russ would salivate over the “Pimp my grits” or the perfectly runny tomato sandwich so it was no surprise to me when I opened a Christmas gift that read, “A night in Kinston at the Chef and the Farmer.” Since Kinston was two hours away and the restaurant is a dinner only kind of place Russ had found the best place to stay in the quaint small town with more empty store fronts than full, a grand Bed and Breakfast called the Bentley.
With hard to obtain reservations in hand and all the logistics to have Carter stay with friends the Hannans who were will to get up and drive her to riding at 7:30 this morning and be picked up by a college friend, Russ and I drove off to Kinston yesterday afternoon. The traffic was not bad and we arrived early enough to meet Linda the fabulous owner of the B&B and settle into a comfy room in the house on the only hill in town.
We arrived early to the restaurant knowing we were in the right spot since it was clearly the place with the most cars in the parking lot. The inside was so familiar since we had practically sat in the dinning room while watching the show on a giant flat screen TV for thirteen hours. Locals greeted us at the bar as if we were kin this was Kinston after all. Russ enjoyed a drink and I had club soda in anticipation of thoroughly breaking my regular diet for this meal.
I won’t make you wait another minute — dinner was worth the drive. We started out sharing a sausage, mustard green and house made mozzarella pizza. Russ, who has red sauce cursing through his veins and can rate every pizza crust from here to Napoli, declared it spectacular. I agreed and not just because it was the first pizza I had eaten in the New Year. Russ followed with one of the three “Pimp my grits” choices, the one with shrimp. To die for. I had the Oyster, & clam pan roast with shrimp and Carolina Gold rice. Delectable, especially for two ingredients that aren’t even listed, the fennel and vermouth that made the whole dish sing. I skipped eating the butter soaked toast in the broth and just sucked up the liquid on a spoon. For dessert Russ got the apple crisp with rosemary ice cream and salted caramel. My bite was cruel since I could only afford the one.
While having coffee Ben refilled our cups and we had a great conversation about his fantastic art on the walls, the TV show and how important we thought the front of the house is to the success of a good restaurant. TV does not convey how generous and what a perfect host he is. Vivian was not on the line last night so we did not get to meet her — An excuse for another visit.
After dinner we retired to the Bentley where we slept soundly and woke to a gorgeous breakfast. Ward, Linda’s husband, who works the corporate life, was conscripted into serving us, this being a Saturday. The B&B is clearly Linda’s passion that they don’t have to do to put gas in their cars, but both Ward and Linda were so delightful that it was the icing on the cake to talk with them for hours after breakfast.
Suddenly we realized it was noon and we wanted to explore the town and have lunch at the Boiler Room, the Oyster Bar that Vivian and Ben started for lunches. As we pulled into town the phone rang in the car and up on the screen it said, “Rolling Hills Stables.” As a mother of a horse back rider when the trainer calls you while your child is there your stomach goes to your throat.
“Is she OK?” I answered the phone.
“She had a fall,” Piper, the trainer tells me. Then my crying child takes the phone. She is alive! Piper gets back on the line and says they are taking her to the ER because she hit her head when she fell off.
Russ backed the car out of the parking lot and we were out of Kinston in a shot. Two hours later we arrived at the hospital where Carter’s two trainers, Piper and Solveig and our great friend Susan were keeping an eye on her as they waited for a CT. While there our friend Ellie who happens to be a radiologist came in to check and our friend Darren an ER nurse was on duty and kept an eye out. Thank god for great friends who are good mothers and fathers to other peoples children.
Carter has a concussion, but no broken bones and is alive. When the doctor told her she was not allowed to do anything including thinking suddenly homework became important.
Russ’ beautiful present ended with six hours at the ER. Carter is asleep in bed, just until we have to wake her and check on her cognition. I had not eaten anything since breakfast and I guess this was a higher powers way of getting me to balance out the fabulous dinner I had last night.
Kinston, I hardly knew you, but what I did meet I really liked. We will be back and we will bring friends and maybe even bring Carter so I can keep an eye on her.
We are Always Students
Posted: February 7, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: Dan Kimberg, Morning Brilliance, Student U 2 Comments
This morning I had the honor of attending the Student U Morning Brilliance breakfast. For those of you who don’t know what Student U is it is a college access program that starts with 50 kids in the summer before 6th grade who have potential to go to college, but have many obstacles to getting there. Student U surrounds, supports, encourages, teaches, introduces, energizes, feeds, cajoles, and just does not let go of these kids until they not only get into and go to college, but now with their first class graduating this year the plan is to continue supporting of these kids through college to ensure successful independence at the end and people who can come back and be the best Durham has to offer.
I am always impressed with the kids, staff, teachers, parents and volunteers at Student U who work hard all the time. When Hilary Clinton wrote it takes a village to raise a child she did not know how Dan Kimberg the Executive Director and his cohorts would expand on that idea to involving a whole big city.
The lessons these kids are learning at Student U are the same ones everyone wishes for their kids. Hard work, curiosity, and accepting help are some of the stepping-stones to having the life you want to have. We don’t go on this journey alone.
These same lessons are ones that we all could take away and use to improve our own lives. At middle age I think I finally got this message and have learned to apply it in things I want to upgrade in myself. The good news is that it is never too late to change, advance, grow and better yourself.
So what do you want to do? Who can you ask for help? How will you give back after you have advanced? It does not have to be a daunting task like being the first person in your family to go to college, but it could be to get a new job, run a 5K, learn a new hobby, or lose ten pounds.
As they say at Student U:
Discover your best self
Achieve greatness
Respect yourself and others
Dream fearlessly
Share your brilliance
Energize your community
To learn more about Student U visit http://www.studentudurham.org
Laugh Yourself Thin
Posted: February 6, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: humor, laughing Leave a comment
When people ask me what my blog is about I sum it up in two words, Diet Comedy. Now that is not all together true since this blog includes healthy recipes, stories about my childhood and some not so funny tips to about losing weight, but the thread that I try to run through most posts is that it is humorous.
For people who don’t know me and somehow have stumbled upon this blog they don’t always know when I am joking about something. Some of the comments I get clearly illustrate their lack of understanding when I am being glib or sarcastic, but their serious replies never bothers me. See, I don’t think that many people think of dieting as being funny and perhaps that contributes to why people hate to do it.
I have taken the opposite tact not just when it comes to dieting but in terms of almost every part of life. Seeing the ridiculous, up surd or funny in things is just more enjoyable. Now it is not always fun for the people around me. I have trouble holding in a good remark when I am in serious meetings. If only I could claim turrets syndrome as my excuse for calling out, but I can’t.
Some people have been down right horrified when I write about my underwear falling off as I walked because I had lost enough weight to warrant smaller panties, but were too cheep to go and get them. The chance to laugh, especially at myself, fills my day with joy. I no longer use food for happiness and that has sharpened my eye on the other things that bring glee.
Laughing is actually a good core workout. The bigger the belly laugh the smaller the belly. If I could occupy my whole day surrounded by the funniest people on earth I seriously doubt I would ever miss eating chocolate.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am very happy about what I do get to eat, but I am not sad about what I don’t get to eat. Learning to have a balanced relationship with food is something I came late too in life. I wish that I had realized earlier that the thing that gives me the most satisfaction is not food, but making others laugh and laughing often myself.
My dieting tip for the day is next time you want to try and keep yourself away from the girl scout cookies in the freezer, don’t do that serious thing that real diet coaches suggest like go for a run, instead watch a funny movie. For someone thinking they want cookies running is never their next choice, but I guarantee that laughing is your best distraction.
Now It’s Sugar, No SH#T
Posted: February 5, 2014 Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: sugar 1 Comment
For the last couple of days all I have heard on the radio and TV is how bad sugar is for you. Is this news? On All Things Considered on NPR they were talking about the “NEWS” that no grown woman should have more than six teaspoons of sugar a day.
I hardly know any woman who knowingly eats that much raw sugar in a day. But each teaspoon contains about 4 grams of sugar and if you were to look at any processed food 24 grams of sugar is a very small amount. So most of us who eat anything processed is probably consuming way more sugar than you think. Especially if you eat fat free processed foods that use sugar in place of fat to get flavor.
Most people who can read already know that sugar is bad for them, but boy does it taste good. But the news is not that sugar just makes you fat, but that it is a major factor in heart dieses, something you don’t necessarily see when you look in the mirror. So you may be fairly thin, but if you live on just a tiny bit too much sugar your heart might not be as happy as you think.
The easiest thing to do is to eat real food that you can recognize in its most natural form. Now you can cook it and change it, but start with things you can spell, like chicken, oats, apples, and peppers, just not all together. If you make it you can get a good idea about how much sugar you are eating.
One horrible hideout of sugar is in fat free yoghurts with fruit. One small serving is more than your whole day’s allotment of sugar. This is easy to fix. Buy plain yogurt and add real fruit. If you add fruit in season that is ripe it will be sweet.
I am a sugaraholic. Given my choice I used to always pick dessert over anything else. That was not helping me weight wise, and now I understand heart wise and even apparently skin wise. Sugar does not contribute to a good complexion. When I started my weight loss challenge sugar was one of the easiest things to cut out. Yes I know there are huge groups of people that believe in no forbidden foods, but not me. Once I got over missing sugar I stopped craving it. If I slip up and eat something sweet now it does take me a few days to break the addiction again so it is so much easier to just stay away from it.
If you don’t have a weight problem go on and eat things with fat, and cut out the sugar. Your body needs a little fat to function, but not sugar to work well. I think back to my Grandparents who ate lard, Crisco, butter, cream, and even some real sugar, but they ate no processed foods since they hardly existed then. They were fairly healthy in spite of the drinking and smoking. I am not advocating you take up smoking, but just look at the labels on your foods and tally up your sugar. Your heart will thank you for sticking to under 24 grams.
Less Dana, More Good 