The Wedding Speech

Posted: June 26, 2026 | Author: dana lange | Filed under: Uncategorized |1 Comment

Carter and Claire asked me to give the final toast at their wedding last weekend. I was allotted five minutes. Having no idea what the other speeches were going to include I wanted to make sure to thank everyone who came to the wedding in my toast. So I knew I was going to run over five minutes. I just watched the video of the actual toast. I am so sorry to everyone, it was 21 minutes. I promise the three times I practiced it, it was only 11 minutes with pauses built in for dramatic purposes.

I hope that all the guests will forgive me for how long it was, especially Carter and Claire.

Since it was so long I’m not posting the video, but here is what I wrote, although it is not exactly what I said.

I want to thank all of you for coming all this way to Maine, to spend these days celebrating such a wonderful love that Carter and Claire have found in each other.

There is nothing that makes a parent happier than knowing that your child has found someone to walk beside them in this life.

When they are born, these babies look to into the faces of their parents and you can’t imagine that there was ever a world without them. You love them so hard and you want all good things for them.

So you do your best, as parents. You try and teach them to be good people. To be kind and generous and curious. You hope they make good choices and make the best of the luck that happens to them.

If you are lucky, like Carter, you have a grand mother like Annack who painted and played games with you. Or an aunt like Janet who does dare devil things with you, which you keep secret from you parents. And she takes you on trips and orders you all the best things.

Lots of things that happen to us are just luck, but it’s what you do with that luck that makes all the difference. Like the fact that Ellis and Carter were baptized at the same time at our church, even though we did not know that was going to happen and had never laid eyes on anyone in the Toms family before. Despite the fact that Lynn and I almost came to blows over the reserved rows in the front of the church, Ellis became Carter’s sister E and Carter, Ellis’s sister C. Becoming each other’s only sibling in their only child life. Lynn and Logan are the bonus parents Carter got. That was Lucky.

Then in pre-K on the second day of school. Carter, the tallest child in the class, comes out of her classroom with a tiny elf like child in tow, at least a head shorter than Carter. She looks at me and says, “We want to have a play date.” I look at this sweet mute girl and say, “Hi, What is your name?” And in a tiny whisper comes, “Campbell.” It was day two of their forever school and Carter and Campbell had picked each other to be best friends forever.

Then in Third grade along came Ashley. And even though you had been at the same school since the beginning, this was the first time you were in the same class and you discovered another BFF.

In College there was best friend that almost didn’t happen. When Carter was finishing her freshman year a friend of mine in Durham stopped me one day and said, “Our daughter’s best friend just got into Northeastern. She is such a fabulous girl. Do you think Carter would meet her before she gets to Boston?”

I said I would ask. And I did, and the answer I got back from the introverted Carter was, “No, Mom.” Carter was not as generous then as she is now.

So thank goodness that the first day of classes sophomore year Carter was sitting in the front row of the lecture hall talking to the professor, who called her by name before the class started. The freshman from Durham happened to be in that class. And came right up and asked, “Are you Carter Lange?”

And Carter looked up and said “yes”, and Estelle introduced herself and said she was the one from Durham. Thankfully Carter’s good manners came to the fore front and she told Estelle to sit down right beside her and they became best friends, which could have started sooner.

So as you can tell, Carter was not always looking for many new friends, but once you are her friend she is going to keep you for life.

So these people are our family. We love you like you are our own children, even you Lynn and Logan.

Fast forward to Carter’s first job out of college. She wanted something outside finance after Bain Capital and she got a job at Catylant. We would talk on the phone about work every few days and she would tell me about the people she worked with. Most she liked. Except there was one woman who was mean to her.

“Does she work In Your department?” I asked.

“No, but we are in two affinity groups together. She knows everyone and has been there like seven years.”

“Well, don’t worry about her, if you don’t have to report to her or work with her.” I said.

Then I heard about this woman again. Then again. Talking about this woman at work, who she had gone out with. At first just work drinks, then dinner, “was it a date?” Turns out it was.

“You mean, the woman who was mean to you? You kissed her?”

Yeah. “I asked her why she was so mean to me at work those first few weeks and she said, “I was flirting with you.” Carter’s reply, “Oh you are very bad at it.”

But thank goodness, that mean woman, Claire, kept at it. Because Carter already had her four friends, and for Carter that seemed like a good number. They just weren’t the kind of friends that Claire turned out to be.

Claire also had a couple of other things going for her that Carter valued. She had Norman and a car. So Carter and Claire became an item.

Claire also had something else Carter did not have, siblings and brother’s at that. Carter liked Rob and Alex from the start. I remember Carter calling me very nervous before the first time she was going home to Darien with Claire. She said, “I’m very nervous to go meet Claire’s parents.”

I asked her why she was so nervous? I reminded her that parents usually liked her and that she was raised with good manners. So Barb and Dwayne I hope she made a good first impression. She did come back from that first weekend raving about you all. Lilla and Dre also helped sell her on all things Dickson too. Obviously, if such cool women joined the Dickson clan it was a good sign.

The Kreuters, who are to the Dickson’s what the Tom’s are to the Lange’s were also a good omen to Carter. And Shay, the fact that as Claire’s best high school friend you had the same name as Carter’s most beloved dog well that was the cherry on top.

The other big bonus Claire brought to Carter’s life is her giant group of friends who accepted Carter as if she went to Colby. I’m not sure how many weddings Carter went to with Claire, but I feel like it certainly was your main form of entertainment for the last four years. Thank you to Keaves and Al, and and Sarah and Micheal, Nate and Sally, Mac and Jack, and Britt and Dan for welcoming Carter into your tight knit group so warmly. It all speaks well for Claire that she has such a wonderful loving group of devoted friends

So a wedding is the coming together of two families. And we are so happy to have Sue, who is here not just for Hadley, but as an extension of the Dickson’s side. Since Lilla is an only child and Carter is an only child I can see we might have a holiday or two together.

What I want to say to Carter and Claire is this. You both had lives and friends before you met each other. And now you have melded those all together in a Beautiful way. You have figured out how to live together, support each other, grow better together.

You have a great network to support you so you can be whatever you want to be. I want you to remember how loved you are on this day with these people who came to celebrate you. There will be hard times. Always have each other’s best interests at heart. For what happens to one of you, happens to both of you. But also have your own interests. Keep the good balance you have now. Go to a Party together and it’s OK for Carter to go home early and Claire to stay at the party. Just always keep telling each other what makes you happy and what is hard. And find the balance.

I want to close with a bit from a book I loved this year by

Allen Levi, called Theo of Golden that made me think of you girls at this time. HE wrote, “We go though our entire lives looking for a face. Longing for a particular gaze that calms and fills us, that loves and welcomes us, that recognizes and runs to greet us. Is that perhaps what this day, is all about.”

I am so happy you found each other and recognized the face of love. And Love is what this day is all about. I love you Carter and Claire.

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