A Long Sad Day

When I was a kid, perhaps, nine or ten years old my Dad started many words of wisdom with the line, “I have to tell you this before I die.” It was very discomforting as a child because I often missed the wisdom and just worried that he might die soon. Today I can no longer get to hear his advice because he died in his bed at home.

My Dad was bigger than life in everything he did. People either loved him or hated him, no one was ever indifferent to him. And if he loved you, you knew it and you were the greatest, smartest or funniest. But if he hated you, you were the nothing more than a Cromag, or his favorite insult, “you were all you would ever be.”

He defied all the odds by living to 83 in spite of the hard and fast life he lived. He outlived all his contemporaries and that made life lonely. He suffered many ailments over the last few years, but beat every odd and kept living in a body that he had worn out years before.

Ever the optimist he had planned to have an operation on his elbow in five days so he could qualify for a knee replacement. He bought a new car two weeks ago, when he also had a truck and shouldn’t have been driving either of them.

Yesterday my Mom called me and said he was doing poorly. I drove up to their new house he just finished building and found him disoriented and in pain, but had no idea that his end was so close. I stayed in the room across from his last night listening to his pain and then he unexpectedly got out of bed and fell on the floor. It was hell. The paramedics came and checked him out and put him back in bed, saying he was safer here than at the Covid filled hospital. Apparently he wasn’t safe anywhere.

My Mom and I are still in shock, fueled by our lack of sleep. We aren’t having a service right away, but are waiting until all the people who were important to him can be together. It’s been a long sad day, one I am happy I did not have to suffer when I was ten, or twenty or even forty. I was so lucky to live sixty years with Ed Carter always giving me advice.

13 Comments on “A Long Sad Day”

  1. Stuart Wright says:

    Dana I am so sorry for your loss. Your Dad was one of a kind.

  2. Susan Ketch says:

    Oh No! I am so very sorry and saddened for all who knew him, especially you and your family. ❤️🙏🏻😞

  3. Cynthia Klein says:

    Dana, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how close you were to your dad. Even remember the stories from the EWS days. Thoughts are with you and your family. xoxo

  4. Carol Walker says:

    Oh Dana. I so feel for You. My dad was my rock in my life. I was blessed to have him for 89 years. I miss him every day. Gods blessings to you and remember the good times.

    Carol Walker🎶🙏🎶

  5. Val Williams says:

    I am so very sorry Dana! I know this is a complete shock for all of you. Prayers for some comfort during this difficult time.

  6. Sally Graham says:

    Oh Dana
    My heart is breaking for you. What a passionate man who lived life to its fullest/.what a wise business man to get all that his family needed. What a blessed man who did not need to suffer slowly at the end.
    We sold our house, and are at day 3 in the new tiny house in Maida Vale. I’m telling you this ,in part, because we have had a whirlwind of a summer trying to get rid of 2/3 of my possessions. It has been hard in so many ways, (fell an broke shoulder for the 3rd time, am 10 days post op today.). But it makes my heart sing to see how happy I have made my children by letting go while im still here. You got to experience that from the other direction. You and your sisters made a true sacrifice by showing how much they mean to you.
    As I write this, my 93 year old father in in a memory care facility with no idea why he is there. Thankfully, he tolerates it most of the time. But, dying in inches is hard to watch and even harder to do.
    I wish you nothing but smiles, tears and laughter you celebrate your father’s life. And please, keep sharing your stories. It’s theraputic for us, too.
    Much love,

  7. Nancye Bryan says:

    Saddened to see this, Dana. Looks to me as if your dad lived his life to the fullest! Lucky you to have been his daughter! ❤️ Nancye

  8. Stori Cadigan says:

    I am in tears. Oh Dana he was the best. Always bigger than life and always with a smile on his face. I am sending all my love to all of you.

  9. My-Chau Nguyen says:

    Dana, I am so so sorry to hear these very sad news. Just a few years ago, we were all there celebrating Ed’s 80th birthday and he was so charming, so funny, talking up a storm, telling stories and laughing his big laugh with all of us. We will miss him so dearly and send our deepest condolences to your mother, yourself and your sisters and the entire family. May Ed Rest In Peace. Please let us know when you know what the arrangements are so we can pay our respects to an amazing man.

  10. Jayne Donahue says:

    Dana, Tim and I are so sorry to hear about your Father’s passing. We have know your parents for almost 50 years (Avon, Warner Amex) and we admire them both so. Ed was bigger than life, loved to have fun and was always so generous with his time. He was a mentor to so many…including us. We will keep you, your Mother, and your Sisters in our thoughts and prayers. Jayne and Tim Donahue

  11. Cheryl Freye says:

    I only know your through your blog that Jan McCullum recommended to me several years ago, but my heart goes out to you and your family. It is so difficult to lose a parent. Keep his memory alive by continuing to share his stories. Praying for both strength and peace in the days ahead.

  12. Sally Peck Tieger says:

    Dear Dana,
    I’m so very saddened for your loss! Thinking of you and family and sending tights hugs!😘💕💕💕

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