Melania Wrote Russ

Since I am the one who gets the mail at our house, I was the one who first saw the envelope with the return address of just her name, Melania Trump, endorsed largely across the top left hand corner of the envelope.

Since it is a federal offense to open someone else’s mail, I did not. I just got to imagining what she could have been writing to my husband…

Please Russ, save me from my life trapped here with this orange thing…

No, that was probably not it. Too familiar a greeting.

Dear Russ, you have been recommend to me as an expert in strategy. I need a plan…

No, she would not spell it out in a letter. Even she would know to send word to Russ through a third party.

Dear Russell, As your birthday is coming up in three days I would like to wish you a happy birthday and personally apologize for everything that happens in my house.

No, she would have way too many letters to write if she were personally apologizing to each American on their birthday.

Finally Russ got home. I told him about the envelope.

“Just burn it,” Russ said.

“No, let’s open it.” I responded.

Dear Russell, decisions made by the President impact countless lives across our nation, and throughout the world…

Immediately I knew what it was… a letter originally written by Michelle Obama that Melania found in her desk in the residence and so she copied it and sent it to the list Michelle had attached to it. That is the only explanation why she would dare think to write Russ and ask him for money for her husband’s re-election.