The Skinny Turkey Syndrome

The other day I heard a news bulletin that the turkey producer Butterball put out saying that there was a serious shortage of big fresh turkeys this year. When Butterball says big they are talking about the ever popular 20 pound plus birds that are capable of feeding all the family around the dining room table and the ones at the kids table too.

This shortage was apparently not due to poor planning on the turkey producers part, but on some strange dieting affliction the turkeys took on, perhaps in the hopes of saving their lives. That’s right, anorexia has come to the poultry house. Turkeys whose only job it was to eat and get fat found something else to do.

Maybe one enterprising bird developed Zumba for T-birds and had the whole rafter of turkeys (that’s what a group of domesticated turkeys are called) dancing the pounds away. I think that good farmers do play music in their poultry houses just to keep birds happy because we all know that happy birds taste better. Perhaps there was a little to much hip hop wafting through the rafters and got the birds to dancing rather than eating.

I doubt that turkeys had figured out that the fat birds all disappeared when they got to a certain size so if they just stayed skinny they could save themselves to live another day. Whatever the reason, turkeys have learned to diet.

The good news from Butterball was that they had plenty of giant frozen birds available. Perhaps this “news” story was all a ploy to get rid of frozen turkey inventory. Butterball was giving the turkey buying public enough notice that they could have time to buy a frozen bird and thaw it in time for Thanksgiving. For me it is not the timing issue, but do I have enough room in my freezer or refrigerator just to hold said giant bird. I need more notice to find a way to get rid of all the food already in the freezer.

Whatever the reason for the big turkey shortage I would like to get to the bottom of how turkey’s have turned into successful dieters so I could incorporate their weightloss plan for myself. I am always looking for ways to change up my program and get those last pounds off. I guess I just need to go in search of those newly svelte birds. It seems like People, oh I mean, Poultry Magazine could do a cover story on this. Nothing sells magazines like a great before and after picture.

If you were planning on getting a big fresh turkey at the last minute let this be your warning, you might have to settle for two skinny birds. Let’s pray that breast reductions are not what’s next in turkey fashion.