Surprise Spanish Reunion
Posted: June 26, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Nineteen years ago I spent the best year of my working life going around the world making TV commercials with a fabulous group of people. One of my favorite people was my friend Shireen,my travel specialist, who is probably the happiest most easy going person I had ever met. We were quota pair, I was the hard ass and she was the magic fairy who always made everything good happen. 
Although we were working it was not bad to do it in South Africa, Bali, Mexico, Puerto Rico and Vancouver. The worst part about that assignment being over is that I did not get to work with Shireen again as I stayed in London and she went back to the states. Over the years we have kept in touch through the wonder of Facebook, but have not seen each other since she worked in LA.
Fast forward to yesterday. Shireen quit her job and is two months into a year traveling around the world. When she saw we were coming to Seville she did too and we have had the best reunion. She arrived last night and we caught up at dinner where she got to meet Carter and see Russ, who she had only met when he came to two days of our Puerto Rico shoot. Carter took an instant liking to her, especially when Shireen told Carter that one of her best customer’s was Joe Jonas.
Today we just folded Shireen into our family and did our touristy things. We started the day at the Real Alcazar. In this case “real” does not mean the opposite of fake, but instead means Royal. It is a palace of Seville that had once been an Islamic Palace, then a Christian Spanish one. After our great tour of Pompeii last year with a private guide I decided that we should do the same here since I did not know the history of this area very well. So we met Manuel at the Palace before it opened and had a wonderful tour where he explained all the complicated history of Seville to us.
After visiting the gardens Manuel walked us through the Jewish section abutting the Islamic palace and gave us the quick version of the inquisition. History is so much more memorable when you are walking in the place where it took place.
Before parting with Manuel he pointed us in the direction of a non-touristy area for lunch. Full of gazpacho and tapas after lunch Carter left us to do her own thing and Shireen, Russ and I walked the city for hours. Exhausted and dirty we went to clean up before going to dinner at a most beautiful restaurant on the river that unfortunately had the worst food. The only good thing was the light was beautiful for pictures. We walked back to the area where we all were staying and said goodnight to Shireen with promises for our continued touring tomorrow. Russ and Carter said it was much more fun for me to have a friend on vacation with us and next year we should bring one for Carter too. Russ declined a friend. I’m just glad to spend time with my old friend.
Seville Equals Spain
Posted: June 25, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
When I learned about Spain as a child this is what was taught to me — bull fights, Flamenco dancers, gazpacho, hot days, beautifully painted tiles, sangria, oranges, dark haired beauties. This is the Spain we have found in Seville. Well, everything but the bull fights. That is something our animal loving selves can skip.
The morning was beautiful, not too hot so we walked to the Plaza de Espana, the beautiful Renaissance revival style building built for the 1928 Iberio-American Exposition. Try explaining what expositions were to a millennial internet child. The idea that countries would gather in one spot for a year to display new inventions, foods, and the like and promote themselves seems totally foreign to Carter. When we explained that the Eiffel Tower was built for an exposition and since it was such a hit they kept it she began to understand.
After wandering the outside we stumbled upon a cool military museum inside. It would not have been something we would have sought out, but loved it. That is the best thing about slow traveling. We are in no rush to see all the “top spots” so if we find something interesting we just do it.
On the other hand, sometimes it makes Carter crazy when I stumble upon something. Like the white dove I found in the Plaza. I wanted to get a picture of it and we to wait patiently for it to fly by me. After getting a still photo I wanted a video. It was worth waiting to catch it in slow motion.
After a lunch of Gazpacho and a little rest we went to a Flamenco show. Wow! From our front row seats we were practically at eye level with the dancers feet. How in the world this woman could tap her feet at different speeds at the same time I will never know. Russ was concerned about stress fractures.
Tonight we are meeting up with an old friend of mine, Shireen, who is traveling around the world and we somehow made it to Seville at the same time. This is the best surprise of the trip. I love traveling!
BCN To Seville By Ground
Posted: June 24, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
It would have been a perfect day to take a nap, but somehow I was the only one who did not. We were up at the crack of dawn this morning to catch the early Renfe AVE, high speed train from Barcelona to Seville. It was five and a half hours and Carter made good use of that time to nap. I, on the other hand, watched out the window so I could take in the whole of Spain since we were transversing from one corner of the country to the other.
I should have slept. What did I see? A lot of olive trees, and other fruit trees which were unidentifiable at three hundred miles per hour. Mountains, hills, plains, wheat, dirt, red dirt, brown dirt, yellow dirt and sand. Throw in some rocks. Every once in a while we might have seen a village, but mostly some deserted stone buildings with holes in the roof. Obviously the high speed line was put in the places that would disturb the fewest people. So no people at all.
The strangest thing is in the whole way across the country I did not see any live stock anywhere. Now I know that the famous hams come from Iberia, where acorns are grown to feed them so it made sense that I did not see pigs, but no chickens, no cows, no lambs, no meat on the hoof anywhere. Maybe the train is bad for animals.
After arriving in Seville were made our way to our little hotel that has a view of the cathedral. That meant we had to be dropped off at the cathedral and meander on foot with our rolling bags down alley ways to find our spot. Only one or two fights broke out during that part of the adventure, of course it did not help that it was 2:30 and we had not had lunch yet.
That remedy came quickly and we completely over ordered at a fab tapas bar. Ordering food to share is great, but we never know how big anything is going to be. We need to start ordering one thing at a time so we can pace ourselves to decided if we are actually hungry. After lunch Russ and Carter both took naps. What was wrong with me? It was almost 100 degrees out and I certainly was not going to going sightseeing in the hottest part of the day.
Eventually everyone got up and we meander through the tiny streets. Still full from lunch we went to a fancy restaurant for late dinner. It was the perfect time to go to an expensive meal because we hardly ordered anything. Russ and I had the best salads that really hit the spot. But I was fading fast, just as nap refreshed Russ and Carter were ready to go. It certainly was cooler in the night air than it had been at five in the afternoon. We are going to have to really start to see Seville tomorrow, after I have gotten some rest. Looking at all those olive trees flying by today really took it out of me.
Barcelona Is For The Dogs
Posted: June 23, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Literally, there are more dogs in Barcelona than almost any city I have seen. Everywhere we went people had their dogs with them. It helps that so many of the restaurants have outdoor seating so dogs are welcome.
The first few days we just admired the cute dogs. It made us all miss Shay Shay so much. But then we realized that Shay was in no way Barcelona trained. These dogs are good. Many times the dog would not be on a leash and would follow at their owners heels in lock step. We did see one cute little yellow dog waiting at the opened door of a bakery while her owner was in shopping. When the owner came out the dog started a step ahead of her to go home and the owner stopped and spoke harshly to the dog who sat at attention feeling badly that she had gone in front and not behind.
It made Carter a little crazy when I started taking photographs of dogs. She said I was stalking them. For the most part they did not know I was taking their picture and no owners were disturbed. The interesting thing was the variety in dog breeds. I am not sure we saw the same dog twice, except for whippets, which I think I saw three or four of.
Even our apartment hotel allowed dogs. I saw one in the lobby. But never heard a peep out of any of them. That was also true of all the dogs we saw on the street. They were quiet and well behaved. Nobody jumped up on anyone or begged. We have clearly done a very bad job of training our dog.
Besides seeing dogs, today we went to see Gaudi’s famous apartment building, Casa Mila, otherwise known as La Perdera, the quarry, which is just across the street from where we are staying. Gaudi was certainly ahead of his time. Thank goodness enough of his work survived to make a whole tourism center on its own. Other cities could only hope to have such a huge economic driver.
Tonight is the festival of Saint Joan, so there are fireworks going off across the city. Of course the noise is not helping on the night we need to go to bed early to catch our early train to Seville. I wonder if there will be any dogs on our train? If there are Carter certainly won’t let me take their picture.
The Things You Do On Vacation That You Never Do At Home
Posted: June 22, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
We have totally gotten into the vacation mode. We have now been in Barcelona long enough that we feel little need to go look at anything, unless you count food. I knew that I had been pushing the cultural aspect of the trip to a point where I could have full blown teenage rebellion. So I searched on Time Out, the guide to what young people like, and found that The Pentatonix were doing a show in Barcelona tonight at a club.
Going to any kind of club, other than Costco, is not something Russ nor I would usually do. Have you ever seen Russ dance? There is a reason for that. But in order to make Carter feel like this was her vacation too we bought tickets for this show.
It was an all teenage day. Sleeping late, then Carter and I had a little cafe breakfast before doing some clothes shopping for her. Good egg Russ, worked while we played. The only thing we did without Carter’s consent was walk La Rambla and eat lunch at the Mercado de La Boqueria, the big market place. It was full of all kinds of stalls selling fresh fish, cooked to order, fresh fruit, Spanish tapas, ham, cheese, all things yummy. The part that did not make Carter happy was that we were not doing a sit down lunch. Oh well! It was hot, but that made coming back to the hotel and swimming on the roof even better.
We had our best dinner yet at La Pepita – early tapas, before going to this Club Razzmazztaz for the concert. It was packed, but we got there with only a few minutes to wait, packed like sardines before the concert started. Carter wiggled her way into the center of the room, while Russ and stood still in the periphery, still mushed between other people. The only good thing is that no one chooses to stand right behind Russ, for obvious reasons.
The concert was really quite good since The Pentatonix are an a Capella group and there was no loud drums or bass. After it was over Carter amazingly found us and a taxi pulled right up and we jumped in, miracles. The best part was Carter announced it was the best concert she had ever been too. Teenage happiness. I killed her buzz a little when I told her we were going to the Casa Mila, the Gaudi building across the street, tomorrow when it opens at nine. What a horrible mother I am to make her get up on her vacation, but hey, she had today.
Strangely Attracted to Puzzles
Posted: June 21, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
Today Russ, Carter and I went to our early morning appointment to see Gaudi’s most famous work, the still unfinished Sagrada Familia Basilica. As crazy looking as it is on the outside, with basically four different styles of facades, the inside is amazingly symmetrical. The stained glass windows are glorious and the various colors of the columns are harmonious.
Of course Gaudi gets most of the credit, although he was not the first architect on the job, nor will he be the last, but the craftsmen who have carried out his drawings are the unsung heroes. The number of artisans it has taken to work on the building since 1882 could hardly be counted. The work continues with the goal of finishing the Basilica in 2026, the 100th anniversary of Gaudi’s death. From what I can see it is going to take every waking minute to meet that deadline.
Thank goodness there is plenty of money pouring in from the throngs of tourists. At an average of 24 euros each and the tickets are constantly sold out there seems to be no shortage of funding. Carter especially liked watching the Asian tourists, who made up a large portion of the visitors, because they walked around filming the entire visit. Carter said, “When the hell are all these people going to watch these movies?” Good question, but I’m sure God knows they took them.
I took plenty of photos. I was strangely drawn to a sixteen square stature of random numbers. I did not know what it was, but I took a picture of it nonetheless. Sadly I took the photo at an angle that I could not see all the numbers. Later, in my tour of the museum underneath the temple I found the key to what the number statue was. It was a cryptogram, kind of like the precursor to sudoku, where in many directions a row, column, square or other pattern of four numbers always adds up to 33, the age of Jesus.
It never fails that if there is a game or puzzle in something I am going to find it and study it whether I know it is a game or not. I probably could have spent hours in the Basilica looking for all the symbols and meanings designed into the building, but then I had other’s with me who were not as enthralled with figuring out the puzzle. Well, I also was surrounded by many short people holding up video cameras spinning to ensure they caught every angle. Maybe they like puzzles too and are going to go home and watch their films on endless loops looking for the hidden meanings. Maybe not, they probably have 650 hours of other videos from their whole trip to watch. Probably they just never will watch any of it.
The Siesta Life
Posted: June 20, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Carter and I have quickly adapted to the Spanish schedule. Russ on the other hand is still in full on work mode, although he refrained from working when his girls were awake. Of course since Carter and I slept late and both took naps that gave Russ plenty of time to do as he wanted.
Our first full day in Barcelona was the uphill walking day. I did not mean to trick Carter into this, but somehow I did, and she did not complain. It helped that we were going to the Parc Guell, Gaudi’s failed real estate development, now UNESCO heritage site, that Carter had studied about this year in Spanish class.
We had tickets for the Gaudi house museum, but not tickets for the Parc. Since our timed entrance to the museum was in the afternoon Russ and I convinced Carter that we should walk there. Most of the walk was only a slight incline through a residential area. We stopped at a big mercato which was interesting to all of us with the various stalls of fruits and vegetables, ham, cheese, coffee and other foods. My favorite stall was the egg vendor who had not just chicken eggs, but everything from tiny quail to giant ostrich. The most unusual ones we’re the big black emu eggs, about the size of a grapefruit. If only I spoke Spanish I would have asked the woman where she got these eggs from, unfortunately my translator had already moved on.
As we continued up steeper and steeper slopes we still could not see the Parc, we turned a corner and saw high above us the edge of the Parc. According to our walking app, it was only about 20 flights of stairs up. Thankfully we happened upon an outdoor escalator that took us three flights up. Once we discovered that we also needed tickets for the monument zone of the Parc we bought those for the next available entry time, three and a half hours later.
We wandered the free part of the Parc looking out over all of Barcelona to the sea. Then we walked back down the hill to find lunch at a small family owned place called a Bar Casi. It was not much to look at, but it was a great find. The owner was sweet and we had the best gazpacho which was a welcome and refreshing thing to have after our hill climb.
After lunch we re-climbed that steep hill to get to our appointed visit times for the museum and the Parc. Thank goodness Gaudi’s plan for a seventy house development failed because if it had not the world would not be left with the most beautiful view of Barcelona. The serpentine benches covered with mosaic of colorful tile are an inspired scene, only appreciated much later. The walk seemed worth it.
After a little shopping on our way home Carter and I fell into our beds for a good siesta. Russ who had been up since 5:45 went to the gym because the eight mile walk had not been enough. More Guadi tomorrow, but on the flat.
Father’s Day Barcelona Style
Posted: June 19, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Of course my selfless father of my only child gives up his day to make his daughter happy. It is not unlike my own father who never got much a Father’s Day since he was usually doing things for all his girls. I guess you do marry your father.
I am thankful that my father gave me the love of travel. He took his girls around the world and exposed us to history, beauty and the joy of differences. Russ has done the same for Carter. Now all she wants to do is leave home and see the world.
We arrived today in Barcelona, a place I have never been. I have no Spanish or Catalonian language skills and I would say that Russ is, well rusty would be putting it mildly. This trip is all on Carter. She has to translate, communicate, navigate and direct.
We checked into our apartment right across the street from the Casa Mila, one of Gaudi’s masterpiece buildings. Carter was in heaven recognizing things she had studied. After a lunch in a cafe on the sidewalk we took siestas. For me it was more like a good night’s sleep.
Sunday is a day of rest here so most restaurants are closed for dinner. Our concierge sent us to a place that was a nice twenty minute walk from our place that had seafood and live music. We arrived at nine and it was a little dark, but since the sun was still out we did not notice too much.
Turns out the power was out. The emergency lights provided enough light so we could navigate. They said the power would be back on very soon so we just went with it since we had so few options at this point. We ordered salads and Paella. One by one the emergency lights started going out, just as the sun was setting. The staff scurried about finding small candles.
The food was good, thanks to gas stoves. We had a leisurely dinner and the only nod to Father’s Day was the fact that we were having a rice meal, Russ’ favorite. Carter also gave him him sock of the month club, the perfect gift while on holiday since it will have to come in the mail.
Sadly their was no music, just a bizarre meal in the dark, but we loved it. All together on Father’s Day, doing what we all like best, seeing a new place. Carter had to do all the talking with the wait staff and it was a new experience for me not to be in charge. All those years of Spanish are finally paying off. I only wish my father were here to enjoy it with us. It is thanks to him that I love going new places.
Happy Father’s Day to the wonderful fathers in my life. I am thankful for you both.
Amateurs
Posted: June 18, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentIt was a shit show at the airport tonight. We arrived early enough for our JFK flight that we were put on the delayed earlier flight. It was a good thing since our original flight was going to be late and we were happy to try and get to JFK as fast as we could. The only issue was the flight we were put on was already an hour late and it was full of people trying to make connections to European flights.
We were the last ones on the flight and as we sat down I felt the anger from the passengers around us, as if we were holding up the plane. Then we sat there. The old men sitting behind me kept yelling out, “Let’s get going.” For all the thousands of flights I have flown I am yet to know a pilot who decides to depart because someone told him to go, then again I have never been on hijacked flight.
We sat, and sat and finally were told that there was an air conditioning value that was stuck open and we were waiting to get it fixed. The old men, screamed, “we can live with a cold plane.” Again, no one listened to them. The wife of one of the old men kept asking the flight attendant to “Call New York and have them hold my plane to Prague.” These people really never fly much.
I know it is frustrating to miss your connection, especially for a valve problem, but screaming out from your seat never helps. The family in front of us was going to London and also had a lot of choice bits of advice for the flying professionals.
Seems to me that old people should not try and go to Europe during the height of summer vacation. The planes are more full, the flights get more delayed and they don’t have any patience for snafus. Old people have the luxury to go in the low season. As for the family, they probably have to travel during summer break, but maybe they should have planned a longer layover at JFK just in case of delay.
We finally took off and flew like a bat out of you know where to NYC in time for everyone to make their connections, but then when we landed there was another plane in our gate and we sat and sat and sat. The screaming continued and they were really choice words.
People jumped up from their seats well before we were at the gate and the flight attendants didn’t say a word. At this point they just wanted them off the plane. We stayed seated, letting the tight connectors off first. I just wanted to put as much distance between me and the screamers as possible.
Now we are safely on our Barcelona flight where everyone is in a party mood. My only problem is I forgot my eye covering mask, but no worries, I have NyQuil.
A Chicken In Every Dog Bowl
Posted: June 17, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 3 Comments
Carter snapped this unattractive pic of me when she and I stopped in Costco to buy just one item, a rotisserie chicken for our dog Shay Shay. Yes, it may sound like we spoil our dog, but I want to make the case for our choice of foods.
Shay is a picky eater. Unlike most dogs she does not live to eat. She usually does not beg. If you put her food down, she stays on her bed for a respectable three or four minutes and then gets up to eat. When I say eat, she just eats enough to take the edge off leaving most of her food in her bowl.
Shay does not get purely rotisserie chicken for her meals. The majority of her meal is dry food. She gets just a few shreds of chicken on top which makes her even consider eating the dry food. Without the chicken, or in a pinch a few shreds of cheese, she would never touch the dry food and would rather mope around hungry for days.
This menu came about after many months and dollars of trying different dog foods. Canned dog foods, the types in little plastic bins, frozen, fresh, everyday food we made did not interest her. It was costing us a fortune to figure out what she might eat.
Then one day I brought home a $4.99 chicken from Costco. Shay went mad. I was thrilled. It is cheaper than dog food, smells better than dog food and does not stink up my refrigerator like a half covered half portion of canned dog food. When I get a warm chicken home I leave it on the counter long enough to cool so I can handle it. I put on a pair of disposable rubber gloves and shred every bit of meat off that chicken. I can get two quarts of Shay ready food that will last almost two weeks. One quart goes in the freezer until needed. That makes her chicken portion of her daily food cost only .35 cents so it is much cheaper than dog food.
I see this as an everyone wins situation. I am not grossed out opening a can of smelly dog food that I have no idea what is in it, I don’t need to have a separate dog food can opener and I have the happiest dog on earth. Yes, I do drive to Costco to buy her chicken because their chickens have twice as much meat as the $6.99 Harris Teeter chicken. Usually I am going by a Costco at least once every other week anyway.
So don’t judge me and the horrible picture Carter posted about chicken for my dog. I would do the same for you if you loved me as much as Shay does.
Friend Day
Posted: June 16, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentOnce a year we have Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day and even administrative assistants’ day, but as far as I am concerned every other day should be Friend’s Day. I am glad that no one has created one day a year to celebrate friends so we can do it all the time.
Today was a particularly good friend day. It started out with a long planned trip to Chapel Hill needlepoint with my friend Lane and her assistant Sarah so they could learn to needlepoint. Lane and Sarah got a look at my big ass plastic box where I keep my needlepoint Christmas ornaments and declared they wanted to start making them for themselves. That was in October and we finally got around to scheduling their visit and lessons.
My friend Deanna came along to stitch at the table with us and many other fun stitching friends stopped by while Lane and Sarah were conquering the basket weave. Thankfully Nancy provides the best place for friends who love needlepoint to gather. Everyday at Chapel Hill Needlepoint is friend day.
After that planned friend excursion I had a surprise Friend Day meet up. My Pi Phi big sister, Marlene “Bodene” Ostrow of Cincinnati, called and said she was visiting her sister in Raleigh. So I drove over and met her son Jordan, her sister and niece. They left us so Marlene and I could have a good two hours of old friend catch up time. We have known and loved each other since 1979, but there were many years, before the Internet and Facebook where we lost track so tonight was fun to fill in the gaps.
Yesterday I found my old friend, Jay, from Washington days, on Facebook and we reconnected after twenty years apart. How quickly you pick up with someone as if you just went on vacation for a few weeks.
I think that I would like everyday to be Friend Day, because then I would be assured of having nothing but fun. Today was way more fun than administrative assistant day, but maybe that is because I don’t have one. Friends are better than anything else anyway.
Shameless Plug
Posted: June 15, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
My sister Janet owns a business that makes gift boxes filled with beauty products that are sold at America’s big retailers. Part of her business also involves selling other beauty related products, like the Travelo, a small perfume atomizer that you fill with your own bigger perfume that you don’t want to carry around. It is cool.
Janet just posted that one of her products is going to be on Good Morning America on the Deals and Steals segment. She could not tell me what it is, but whatever it will be a big discount from the list price.
The name of Janet’s business is Retail Reaction so of you are able to watch GMA in the morning look for her product. I will post on Facebook, which one it is during the show. If y miss watching live I am sure you can log on to GMA and see what the Deals and Steals are after they have aired on TV.
It is fun to see my sister’s products featured on TV. She has worked so hard to grow her business and she deserves every success. Yeah Janet!
No More Wisdom
Posted: June 14, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
I failed as a mother today. Carter went to the oral surgeon to have her four wisdom teeth removed. It was an appointment she has had since October. This being the perfect time, after exams and the ACT, before our family trip to Spain and her summer job as camp counselor. For months Carter has been waiting for me to film her as she is coming out of an anesthetic haze to see what crazy things she says.
With my finger on the red dot I was sure I was capturing those incoherent words, “Mommy, you look like the candy man in that stripped shirt.” Unfortunately, I was on pause and got nothing recorded for posterity. The good news is that Carter came through the surgery with flying colors. She was a little loopy, but sweet, not crazy mean, and she is still plenty smart, even without those wisdom teeth.
I got her home and on to the couch where she was able to watch “Bones” and hardly take a pain killer. She was a good sport about wearing her face bra, that holds ice packs to her cheeks. The incentive of the trip kept her following all the directions to the letter. The best thing she said to the nurse before leaving was “this is the smallest bra I will ever wear.”
I’m sorry that I missed the video opportunity. I hope this is the last time Carter has to have anesthesia, it is not worth the risk just to get those few moments of true unadulterated honesty. Mostly I am thrilled that everything went so well. Looking forward to some uneventful, pain free healing days before our flight. The Dr. said it will be fine for her to go, good thing since I did not consultant him before hand. See I really am a bad mother.
The Other Disgusting News You Missed This Weekend
Posted: June 13, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 4 Comments
Our country is at a low point and perhaps the lowest act got little media attention because a bigger story took all the news time. I’m not arguing that the massacre in Orland is not one of the worst things to happen in this country since 9/11, but I feel that it is the act of one crazed, demonic, horrible person.
The “news you might have missed” act I am upset about is the Republican Senator from Georgia, David Perdue, who at an event this weekend called The Faith and Freedom Summit asked the room to pray for President Obama a line from Psalm 109:8, “Let his days be few; and let another take his office.” The next line in the psalm goes on to say, “Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow.”
I find it disgusting that a sitting senator asks God to kill our president. What has happened to this country? It is no wonder that deranged people feel it is right to go into a night club and gun down innocent people when there are elected people who are espousing death to the President. What has happened to civility?
If we are looking for what is the cause of great increase in violence look not only to the NRA, who stands in the way at every move of any discussion of common sense gun legislation, but to the people who are elected to govern who spout hatred. Their “religion” is not recognizable to me as the teachings of Jesus. The psalms are Old Testament and although many are beautiful poems, not all of the Old Testament are things we would embrace as good ways to run a so called evolved society. We gave up “an eye for an eye” a while ago.
So, Senator David Perdue, here is an idea that worked for many years in the Senate, try and talk to each other, try and compromise, try and listen to each other, try and put your self in the other sides shoes, try and actually legislate. Praying for God to kill the other side is not a legislative plan. I suggest you pray for God to give you wisdom, patience, and an open heart to find better way to run the country. You may not have spoken the follow-up line in Psalm 109, but your audience knew it and made the connection you laid out for them, “make the President’s children fatherless.”
If you are a Christian I would get down on my knees and ask for forgiveness because asking God to kill someone is not what Jesus would ever do. Then when you have finished asking God for forgiveness you should apologize to the President because the office deserves your respect, no matter how you feel about the holder.
The Day After
Posted: June 12, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Since I gave up drinking I can’t stay up late at parties. After a lovely wedding and lots of dancing I finally had to pull the plug and go back to our little heatless cottage and snuggle into bed. My friend David stayed to party on, but eventually walked the wooded path home after midnight. Apparently even David missed the late night drama that took place in the wee hours of the morning when after so many hours of partying things can go awry.
We awoke to a blue sky day so perfect in its crisp beginning to learn of the tragedy that had taken place in Orlando. Wanting to stay in that blissful bubble of new love at a wedding I chose not to read any news stories and instead went to have breakfast with the wedding party at the grand house they had rented for the wedding.
We sat on the lawn with the sun shining on us and did the rehash of the day before. All deciding that Cory and Eric had thrown a glorious wedding. My dearest friend Wendie, the mother of the bride, was surrounded by her oldest and closest friends. Only a wedding brings out so many loved ones at the same time. The conversations go something like this, “Didn’t I meet you at Cory’s baptism?” Or ” I have heard so many stories about you from Wendie, at last I get to know you.”
The after part of a party is probably my favorite part. Cory and her sister Bonnie lay on the grass looking at the Instagram posts from all the wedding guests and loving getting the different perspectives of the wedding. It is such a new phenomenon. I handed Cory my phone and let her scroll through the photos I had taken and airdrop the ones she wanted right to her own phone.
After all the loving on each other was done David and I had to depart. On our way back north we stopped in Plymouth to grab a bite to eat since we were going to be on planes tonight. We parked the car and walked the tourist route passed Plymouth Rock. It was a rather small boulder, about the size of a wheelbarrow with the number 1620 inscribed on it. It was a good thing those pilgrims got there in 1620, otherwise they might have trouble finding a rock with 1621, or 1623 in it.
That was when the Orlando Massacre hit me. Those pilgrims came fleeing religious persecution and created a place where they were free to worship and now we have a crazy person miss using religion to persecute others.
I had spent the weekend surrounded in wedding bliss, enjoying the obvious love that Cory and Eric have for each other, I want to ignore the horrible hate that happened else where, but can’t. I don’t know how we do it, but somehow we need to rise up in love and learn to all live in harmony.
Wedding Day
Posted: June 11, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
There is something surreal about coming to a wedding of a someone you have known for 31 years, seen lots in the early years and not as much since she was seven or eight. I have the bride frozen in my mind as a little girl, when I lived close to her parents. As life changed and people move you keep up, but the images in your head don’t change.
Of course it seems this way because the mother of the bride, my friend Wendie, has not changed one bit in 31 years, so the fact that she has a daughter, not only old enough to be married, but old enough to throw her own wedding took some time to register in my head.
The wedding was at a beautiful old house on the cape. The chairs for the ceremony were set up at the foot of a hill with a gorgeous stair case leading down from the house to a landing that acted as the alter. A big white tent was set up on the lawn, filled with tables strewn with wild flowers in mason jars. Yard games of corn hole and giant Jenga were awaiting people to play them.
David and I rented a house on the property and were joined by two of Wendie’s boarding school friends, Amelia and Margarita. It was a calm morning. David and I went to the beach before coming back to dress for the 3:00 wedding. Just as we were arriving at the big house the rain began. Guests mingled under the tent, enjoying drinks and meeting friends and family of the bride and groom.
After a while it appeared that the rain had stopped so chairs were toweled off and the ceremony began. About halfway through the rain started up again. At first just a drop or two and then a little harder. Guests who were smart enough to bring umbrellas pulled them out and someone handed one to the bride’s sister who held it over the bride. Eric, the groom, stood stoically in the rain as he read his heartfelt vows. Finally someone gave the best man an umbrella and he sheltered his brother as Cory read her sweet words of love and devotion to him.
Despite the rain, it was a truly beautiful wedding. I saw darling Cory, the baby I had known so well, as a calm and happy bride. I saw so much of her father, who I miss since his passing twenty five years ago, and know that he would love his new son-in-law and feel that Cory had made a great choice.
After the kiss we went back to the tent, talked and visited, then ate a big lobster meal before going to the barn to dance. It was a lovely, happy day. A perfect beginning.
Full Circle
Posted: June 10, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Appropriately I am working on my needlepoint canvas entitled, “the wedding party” on my flight to Boston. I am on my way to the Cape for the wedding of Cory, who, along with her sister Bonnie, were the flower girls in my wedding to Russ.
I am thrilled to be going to be with my dear friend, David, who is Carter’s godfather and my first friend in Washington DC. It was David who introduced me to Wendie, the bride’s mom, who became my bosom buddy.
David lived in the apartment above mine in our brownstone in Dupont circle. He worked in PR with Wendie, who was married to Bob. Back then I was the youngster of the group. That was until Cory was born. We all fawned all over her, taking her with us everywhere, to the beach, the farm, on picnics. She was our communal baby. Well, maybe not David’s, he was more like the royal photographer, documenting every step, drawing up pictures of what she would look like dressed up in princess costumes.
When Cory turned one, Bob and Wendie threw a big party. I spent days helping Wendie make food for all the friends and family she was expecting. The highlight was four sheets of carrot cakes that spelled out “Cory”. It was at least six feet long. Thank goodness she was not named Elizabeth because I took an ungodly amount of shredded carrots just to make those four cakes.
In a circle of life way David and I gave Cory and her husband to be Eric a kitchen aid mixer as a wedding present. Turns out to have been just the gift since Cory is baking her own wedding cake. I’m glad it got to her at the right time so she was able to use it make the many layers of cake she needs.
Russ is staying home with Carter because she has the ACT tomorrow. So this weekend is going to be like stepping back in time twenty five years, just now we don’t have to carry Cory around on our hip. Sadly, Bob will be missed since he passed away when Cory and Bonnie were very young. I know his spirit will be there. I see him in Cory and Bonnie. He was one of the greats and I miss him still. But I am happy that I get to witness the beginning of this next step in life for Cory and be with Wendie and Bonnie. Oh happy day.
Cucumber Charred Onion Relish
Posted: June 9, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
On Monday night Vivian Howard, star chef of The Chef and the Farmer cooked flank steak with this relish on the side. It was yummy delicious. She demonstrated how to make the relish so this recipe is direct from her. My interpretation is only about amounts. I served it to my guests last night and even the most picky of eaters had second helpings. I not only served it with grilled beef, but also salmon and it worked perfectly on the two of them.
1 English cucumber- peeled in stripes so as to leave half the dark green on – then seeded
2 large red onions
2 cloves of garlic
1/3 cup of sherry vinegar
1 T. Salt
2 T. Sugar
1/2 t. Red pepper flakes
Olive oil
After peeling the cucumber in stripes, and cutting it in half use a spoon to scrape out the seeds. Cut each half into thirds the long way and chop the cucumber strips into half inch chunks. Place in a bowl.
Turn the grill on to high. Peel the red onions and cut the whole onion into 1/2 inch rounds. You may get four from each onion. Rub a little olive oil on the cut sides of the onion and place on the grill to char. It will take about four to five minutes per side.
While the onions are cooking mince the garlic on a micro plane over the cucumbers in the bowl. Add the salt, sugar, vinegar and red pepper flakes and mix well.
When the onions are charred on both sides add them to the cucumber bowl, breaking up the rings and toss around. Chill the relish in the refrigerator for at least four hours, but preferably overnight. Add a dash of olive oil right before serving.
The Intern Dinner
Posted: June 8, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 2 Comments
Last week Russ looked at me and said he was going to be out to dinner Monday night because it was the first day of orientation for the new company interns. “Well, yes you are going to be out to dinner, but with me at my Food Bank dinner. I told you about six months ago.” Yes, I told Russ, but I forgot to send him a calendar invite so technically, I was not on his calendar.
“To make up for your missing the intern dinner why don’t we have them for dinner?” I volunteered as my snafu make up. That was met with a resounding, Yes!
Tonight the four rising college senior summer interns, came over with three other employees from the DC office and the wonderful head of talent, head of finance and Russ’ business partner. Carter got a whole evening of seeing what her future holds as a college student. It was fun to get to know these bright young people and listen to what they were interested in.
They were polite, showing up with flowers for me. They were respectful, engaged, curious, and clearly very smart. Everyone had excellent table manners and good social skills. It was nice to see that they could hold their own on the basics. I hope that they have an exciting summer living the life of consultants. Get to do interesting work, feel valued, find their voice and come away from the experience enriched. I also hope that they all love the work and want to be offered a job.
The world of internships is so different than it was when I was in school. I had an internship at the Carlisle Economic Development Center in college, but what I worked on was fairly menial. No one ever taught me anything, valued my point of view or even brought me lunch. I was seen as free labor.
The best part about having a small business is we have team members for dinner. I love getting to know these people and it is great for them to see Russ in non-work mode. Of course he goes right into work mode to do the dishes when everyone is done eating, but that is good for his home-life-balance.
For Russ, any excuse for me to cook party food is good for him. He now has a fridge filled with yummy leftovers. Secretly I know he is happy that the guests did not eat all the tomato pie. Now he is set with the perfect breakfast.
Welcome Summer
Posted: June 7, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentThe notorious junior year of high school is over at our house. Hooray for survival. It was a hard year, but a good year. I am glad it is over. No more exams, AP’s, projects. Now the fun begins. Well, after the ACT on Saturday, then the fun really starts.
I am ready for sleeping in without fear that someone is late for school. Trips to far off lands and close by journeys. Visits with old friends and favorite family. Baseball nights. Floating in the pool. Lightning storms and nights cooled by thunderstorms. Fresh squash from the garden and at least one round of home grown tomatoes. Days spent playing a game or doing a puzzle without any guilt. Coloring books. Dinners on the terrace. Movies in the middle of the day. Ripe peaches. Time with friends.
After a little down time, trip to the beach, wisdom teeth removed, trip to Spain, then Carter’s real summer begins. She takes herself off to her first real job as a counselor at Cheerio. Russ and I won’t make the trip to drop her off at the mountain, since she needs her car at camp. It is her happiest place.
I’m not sure exactly all that we will do while she is gone, but I know I will make the most of everyday the summer brings. I use the time to disconnect from obligations. Check out of meetings. Feel no guilt about not helping. It’s my summer vacation. I’m not sure how many years I get to claim summer vacation once I am not living on a school calendar. So I am going to take advantage of the time to be lazy.
So hello summer. Long, light days. Suit case out. Nothing but fun.
Vivian Howard Is My Hero
Posted: June 6, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Months ago some members of the Food Bank board thought we needed to have a summer event to help kick off the kids summer feeding program. For so many kids summer is the best time of their year. Those are the kids who live in families that have plenty of food. For the children who get meals at school, summer can be a worst time of year. This year the Food Bank is serving 300,000 meals to kids in our 34 county area. That takes a lot of money, people and passion to do.
Tonight was the event those board members envisioned. It was called the Chef’s Feast. Three great local chef’s Eric Gephart of Kamado Grill where the event was held, Walter Royal of the Angus Barn and Vivian Howard of the Chef and the Farmer and star of the PBS series A Chef’s Life cooked for 250 people. Not only did they cook for us, but they gave cooking demonstrations of the food we were eating.
Vivian and her assistant Holly came up and spent the day at the Food Bank which was incredibly generous. I was lucky enough to have lunch with her with some of our key staff members. Her mother would have been proud of her perfect manners because unlike the rest of us at the table who ate our lunch while each person spoke, Vivian stopped eating and listened intently as each person at the table introduced themselves and told her what they did at the Food Bank. After lunch as we walked through the warehouse she asked if she could sit on one of the fork lifts. That’s when we took this photo of her “driving me” through the warehouse.
After spending all day doing things for the Food Bank, Vivian worked the event along with the other chefs. After the main course was served the auction portion of the evening began. Russ and I had brought our friends Chuck and Karen Lovelace who we had gone to the Chef and the Farmer with us last summer. The main auction items were different cooking/eating experiences with each of the Chefs. Vivian’s donation was a cooking class for 10 at her private test kitchen and lunch at the boiler room. The Lovelaces made bets with us what we thought the item would go for.
By the time the auction got to Vivian’s offering the room was buzzing from the amount already raised from the previous offerings. Our table had wanted to bid on Vivian’s item, but we bet that it would go for $10,000 which was too rich for us. We were almost right, but still half wrong.
As the two final bidders were at the $9,500-$9,750 bids Vivian stepped in and offered to give her item twice, once for each of them if they split the difference and both paid $9,600. WHAT? Not only had she spent her day at the Food Bank, done the dinner demonstration, and made a great auction donation, she did it twice.
Wait, I forgot to mention the best thing I ate tonight was her squash casserole. She told us that at the last minute the planners wanted something else’s on the dinner plate and she offered to make 250 squash casseroles at The Chef and The Farmer and bring them to the dinner. This is not simple casserole. It was a four day cooking process and tasted every bit of it.
I can’t say enough good about Vivian. If you have not been to either of her Kinston restaurants, run, don’t walk. Her book is coming out in October and will certainly be worth whatever it costs, especially if it has the squash casserole recipe. Thank you to Vivian for your generosity. Many kids will have food this summer thanks to you, Chef Gephart and Chef Royal.
The Kamado Grill gets an extra big thank you too! They provided their fabulous space and servers for the event. They are a cool restaurant in Raleigh that cooks everything on these special grills. They were very cool about showing me, Chuck and Karen the whole kitchen when we asked. Are going to have to go back and eat there to pay them back for their generosity too.
In the end lots of money was raised, lots of good food was eaten and many people supported the Food Bank. Not bad for a Monday night.
Trying To Do The Right Thing
Posted: June 5, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentIn my continuing effort to clean things out in the house we have lived in for twenty-two years I came upon a few prescription pain killers that we had not taken during various bone breaks, back aches and post surgery spells. A friend had recently told me of her sadness for having to let go a house keeper go because she discovered she had been steeling pain killers from their medicine cabinet.
I don’t think we had any oxy, but there were plenty of codons of various types. I knew that I should not throw the pills in the trash because it is bad if the drugs get into the water supply. So I took the prescriptions in their original bottles back to the pharmacy they came from.
Much to my surprise the pharmacist told me that it is against the rules for them to take old drugs back. I asked her what I should do with them and she told me that the police have drug take in events once in a while. That answer was not satisfactory to me and I asked her if that was my only option. That was when she told me I could put the pills in coffee grounds or kitty litter with some water in a sealed bag and throw them away.
Since we use coffee capsules and don’t have a cat I was a little frustrated with my options. I stopped in to Starbucks and asked them for some old grounds and they gladly gave them to me. I did as I was told, but still felt that it was not the best solution.
Considering the country wide epidemic of painkiller addiction I think we need a better way to dispose of old pills. The idea of keeping them around waiting for a police take back event seems dangerous and irresponsible. Perhaps the laws should be changed that prevent pharmacists from being allowed to take them in. Seems like those who are trained to dispense them are the best qualified to handle doing away with them.
Saturday Morning Ritual
Posted: June 4, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
As we usually do on Saturday mornings, Russ and I jumped in the Smart car early and headed downtown to the farmer’s market. Normally, since we are there at the opening, the place is not crowded, and we see the same familiar faces.
Today, as we pulled up I knew something was different. There were hordes of people everywhere holding big fist sized biscuits to their mouths with melted cheese oozing out. Apparently we arrived just as the Bull City Run of some kind had finished and the uber healthy, skinny runners were rightfully treating themselves for their morning effort. Of course one 8K run hardly burns off enough calories to warrant a Pie Pusher’s breakfast pizza or an American Meltdown breakfast sandwich, but it is all psychological.
Most of the vegetable shoppers were the regulars since the runners were busy recarb-loading. We made the loop of the stands getting eggs, cabbage, squash and the last of the local strawberries. Russ carried the baskets and bags back to the tiny Smart and filled the truck with our bounty. Of course filling the trunk of a smart doesn’t take much.
We toddled out of the parking lot on our way to the next ritual Saturday morning stop, LOAF. Russ is addicted to the Polenta bread, but does not buy it from the stand at the farmers market, instead insisting on going to the store so they can slice it on their ancient bread slicer. Since I am carb-avoiding I stayed in the car so as not to be tempted by any one of the amazing smells inside the bakery.
Russ was inside for an extra long time. I thought he might be eating a blueberry cheese Danish inside the store so as not to make me crazy. When he came out I asked him what took so long.
“I was giving a Durham visitor some directions about where she could eat,” he told me.
“She was looking for eggs. At first I thought she wanted a store and I told her about Bulldega, around the corner, but when she said she did not want the Marriott fare I understood she needed a restaurant. I told her about Scratch, around the corner and the farmer’s Market around the other corner.” Russ paused and then told me what the woman’s response was.
“Everything in Durham is just around the corner.”
How true! And that is what we love about Durham. Whatever you are looking for, it’s just around the corner.
Vinegar Pusher
Posted: June 3, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
I am a balsamic vinegar snob. That sounds like an oxymoron. The fact that I am addicted to balsamic is snobby enough, but there is a great variation in balsamic’s or so called balsamic vinegars. The one I like the most, that I practically main line, is Argento silver.
True balsamic must be made in Moderna, Italy. Russ and I once drove through Moderna, just sniffing, looking for a little old lady who had a barrel in her attic. We did not find any home brew, but I did discover a brand that I could get imported into the states.
Now I order it by the case. This last order I bought three cases since I could get the shipping, a very pricey part of the deal, free.
I have written about this vinegar in the past and talked about it with friends, so I thought that if anyone local to Durham wanted to get a bottle I would be happy to sell it to you. It costs $15 which is about six dollars cheaper than you can get it at a store, if you can find it. There are other balsamics sold in similar bottles, but the product inside is not the same. My friend, Michelle told me that the one at Fresh Market is a poor knock off of the one I have.
Since it is strawberry season for just a few short days it would be a shame not to try this vinegar with some fresh sliced berries and black pepper. I know it sounds strange, but trust me, it is sublime.
I’m not going into the vinegar pushing business. Three cases of vinegar will be consumed in this house easily, but I would like to share my passion with my local friends. Sorry, far off fans.
This vinegar is all I use as a dressing on arugula salad. It is not calorie free, but the few that it has are worth it and no oil is needed. Contact me if you want a bottle or two. Buon appetitio!
“I’d Like To Thank The Academy”
Posted: June 2, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
“Where are you?” the text message from my friend Kelly read.
I was sitting in my car in a parking lot waiting for Carter to come meet me for lunch. I knew Kelly was at school in the award’s ceremony because she had been notified that at least one of her children were going to be receiving an award.
“Why?’ I texted back.
“Carter just got a Spanish award.”
My heart sank. What? I was not notified. I missed it!
Carter went off to school with some dread today. Her AP Calculus teacher had sprung on her class that they might be having a final exam, even though two weeks ago they were told they would not have a final. They had a few days to do four very difficult problems and that would determine if they were having an exam or not and today was the day they would find out if they would have the exam tomorrow. It added a crazy amount of stress to an already stressed student.
“It is also awards day, and I hate this day because so few people get awards,” Carter told me. I felt her pain. I told her it is the teacher’s prerogative to give a final and there was nothing she could do about it, but work as hard as possible on those problems. I also told her that she should be proud of what a good year she has had and not to care about awards. Hard work is rewarding enough.
Turns out the e-mail telling me that Carter was getting an award went in my junk e-mail box! Why? I do not know, apparently the title “Surprise – Awards” is highly suspicious. I am incredibly sad I missed it.
Carter was unsure if I was in the balcony with the other parents who were hidden out of site, but she said she did not hear my laugh. “You are such a good liar Mom, I thought you might be there and just hid the fact that I was getting an award so well from me.” No.
Technology screwed me out of witnessing this happy moment. I guess I need to go through the 12,258 e-mails in my junk box. The only problem is they are only on my computer and not my phone or I-pad where I read most everything.
The good news is that Carter does not have a Calculus exam and she got this award. She is one happy camper.
Grilled Lemon
Posted: June 1, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
Today for lunch at Mah Jongg I braved ordering the special salad of the week. Usually I have to greatly modify the offering to make it something I would want to eat, but today the special was a grilled salmon salad nicoise, so I just went with it.
Of course I did modify it somewhat asking for a grilled lemon in place of the truffle oil dressing. I can hardly stand much oil in a dressing these days. Oil is something that has been easy to give up, along with mayonnaise. I wish sugar was as easy. If I taste something with oil I don’t immediately start to crave it, instead I am repulsed by it, but if I eat something sugary it kicks my sweet carving into high gear. I digress.
Today I want to praise the yummy deliciousness of a grilled lemon. I don’t know what it is about the slight caramelization of that tart fruit, but it makes a fabulous dressing all on its own. It is bright, but not sour.
Salad really just needs some moisture, that is all that dressing is. Yes, it adds flavor, or over powers the tastes of the food in the salad. A grilled lemon squeezed all over the salad just improves the beautiful taste of the food on the plate.
Speaking of squeezing, I have to give a shout out to my army of lemon squeezers. I have a skin allergy to the juice in citrus fruit. I can eat it all day long, but I just can’t touch it and certainly can’t squeeze my own lemon. My friend Christy squeezed by lemon today. It is one thing to do a wedge for iced tea, but squeezing the juice from a whole grilled lemon was a big messy job. Thanks Christy.
I think I need to keep wet naps in my purse to give to my squeezers so at least they don’t have to be sticky on my account. I really appreciate the help because the number of calories I save skipping the dressing and going with lemon is significant.
To make a grilled lemon just cut the fruit in half and place cut side down on a hot grill, grill pan, or a frying pan will even work. Let it sit there unmoved for at least two minutes or until the cut side gets some black marks. That’s it. You can grill them in advance and keep them in the fridge, but lemons are juiciest right off the heat. Trust me you will never miss the oil if you replace your dressing with grilled lemon.
Dear Home Depot,
Posted: May 31, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
You have a supplier problem. In April I bought six yellow squash plants and 6 zucchini plants that we supplied by Bonnie. The plants were clearly marked and displayed in flats with photos of each vegetable. The seedlings were small two leaf sprouts, but looked healthy. I was careful about choosing plants to ensure I had a good mix of squash to supply my summer garden.
The good news is my plants have flourished and have grown in to fine giant plants. The bad news is they are ALL yellow squash. Granted it is hard to tell one squash seedling from another, but these were in pots labeled with their variety. It was not that they were just put in the wrong flat, but they were mislabeled at the planting.
Now I like yellow squash, but quite frankly everyone else in my house likes zucchini more. It would have been so much better is the mislabeling had happened the other way around.
Of course I can make stuffed squash blossoms exactly the same way with the yellow variety, but zucchini bread is not in the cards this year. I can make yellow squash bread and hope that Russ does not notice, since it is mostly for him.
I still could plant some zucchini since I have space for one small row, but I have missed a big growing period and soon the summer vacation time will start when I won’t be around to water. Needless to say I am not happy about this mistake.
Yes, in terms of money it does not mean much to you, Home Depot. The plants cost all of $2.50 a piece, but if you add the value of my time to plant them, weed around them, water them and lovingly tend them it really adds up.
I figure that six zucchini plants tend to yield about 90 pounds of zucchini give or take ten pounds. So at $1.99 a pound, the summer cost of zucchini at the store, I think you owe me $179.10. I would settle for $170, a heart felt apology and a promise to never let this mistake happen again.
If you want proof of my purchase I have my American Express reference number for my transaction on April 24 in Durham, NC.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Shay’s Menagerie
Posted: May 30, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentMemorial Day is a day of remembrance for those who lost their lives serving our country. Tell that to my puppy. For Shay Shay it is a day of rest and relaxation amongst the carcasses of her squeaker removed, limb torn off, destuffed animals. I wonder if there is ever a day to give thanks for those stuffed animals who gave their lives to make dogs happy?
Shay has a large collection of once perfectly good, now disfigured, babies, but heaven forbid we do away with any of them. She is attached to them in any state of disarray.
There is Gray Owl, who once had four limbs, but is now down to one.
Bushy Tail Squirrel, had his squeaker removed through an armpitarektomy. Obviously there were catheters in each thigh.
Snoopy, the giraffe was systematically unstitched at the shoulder and stuffing came out along with the squeak.
Pinto Pony was blinded during a violent fluff removal. Thankfully the other eye is still intact, but Pinto now goes by Flat Pinto Pony since no stuffing exists.
Skinny Snake takes his name seriously, but is concerned that the remaining bit of filling makes his butt look fat.
Pink Bun Bun lost his legs as well as his chin giving him a decidedly British look.
Well, Grey Wolf, what can one say, but poor bastard needs never pass by a mirror, it would scare him to death to see what has become of him.
Only Blue Skinny Dog remains relatively intact with just one stick of eye removed. How Blue Skinny Dog has remain unscathed for months and months we will never know. Perhaps Blue Dog has some dirt on Shay.
But for now Shay seems unfazed by it all. Happy to observe Memorial Day in her own way.
Guilt Cleaning
Posted: May 29, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Since the rain was coming down in sheets all day and Carter was studying and Russ was working on a deck for work I felt guilty not being as productive as they were. I decided it was a good time to work on one of my cleaning-out projects.
Earlier in the week I got a good start cleaning out the garage, but was not interested in being trapped inside the humid cave today. So I decided I would work cleaning out one wall of kitchen cabinets. With a tile floor, the kitchen was left in touched in the great wood floor refinishing project of ’15. Thus nothing about the kitchen had undergone the scrutiny I had with all our belongings in closets last year.
I was not going to work on the cupboards where the plates and glasses live, that is a project for another day. Instead I decided to tackle the catch all cabinets where the little used items are housed. Such things as the pressure cooker, the funnel sets or electric knife, things that I like to have, but aren’t called into duty but once or twice a year.
The problem with the orphan kitchen items is that they get grouped together in cabinets with unlikely neighbors. Shay Shay’s tooth cleaning gel, with cinnamon cashews, or hand carved wood salad tossers next to the dough hook for the kitchen aid mixer, festive Christmas apron and the extra large heavy duty aluminum foil roll.
Some of these things were first put in one cabinet and thus stayed there for life because that is where we knew it was. The problem with moving seasonal items is that when the season comes around you might not remember where you put it. But that was a long standing excuse to keep these misfits in the same place.
So today, without holding back, I cleaned out five major cabinets. Editing what really needed to be in the kitchen, rehousing some things, like all of Shay’s medicine to a better room, and taking out some things I had, but never used or frankly never liked. The whale platter went to the donate pile, and the dozen sports water bottles went to the garage.
I felt great satisfaction when it was all done. Russ came in the kitchen to eat his lunch and I announced the completion of the great clean out of the wall of cabinets, minus the two drawers. “Yeah, those drawers are the real mess,” Russ said.
So much for my feeling of accomplishment. He was right. The job was not close to being done. After lunch I pulled a chair up to the two large junk drawers and tackled the hard work. You know those drawers you have where everything you thought was important went. Turns out not that much was important in them. I reorganized the hundred or so batteries. If you need AA’s I have cornered the market on them. I discovered a pouch of Chuckie Cheese winner’s coins that Carter used to collect awaiting enough to trade in for a good prize. Apparently Chuckie Cheese did away with the coins years ago, and that Carter aged out of that place at least a decade ago.
In the end I grouped like things together, tape and stapler, matches and lighters, pie weights and pastry brush. The very last job I did was testing every pen and discarding any writing utensil that was not perfect. I sorted the pens, from the pencils from the sharpies, which even got their own compartment. Job done. Not bad work for a rainy day. I am working my way through the easiest clean out jobs so that I will eventually have to face the attic, but before that day comes every drawer and closet in my house is going to be perfect. I might be able to drag this out two or three years.
Teenage Vision
Posted: May 28, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Used to be that we could go to the farm to celebrate Memorial Day and the unofficial start of summer. Of course that was before we had a high schooler who needed to study for exams over the long weekend. Today Russ said this was our last exam studying Memorial Day. Next year at this time Carter will be a graduate with no exams. Hooray.
So since we are stuck at home we went to DPAC tonight and saw a play with Carter and her “sister E,” our bonus daughter Ellis. Life is better when we get to have Ellis with us. I love to hear the plans she and Carter make for the future.
Tonight they were talking about going to Mexico. Carter thinks they should go right after high school graduation and Ellis realistically believes they will have to wait until they are a little older, like 30. Carter’s response to that was, “We have to go before then because 30 is when our bodies give out.”
I have to say I have not been the best body roll model, but I hope their bodies last past 30. For now I am happy to just get to spend time with these girls because soon enough they will be off on their own and lord knows my body might be giving out making me incapable of visiting them.
It’s All About The Shoes
Posted: May 27, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Today is a day of celebrations. First it is my very young friend Christy Barnes’ birthday and second it was the Durham Academy graduation. Since we are celebrating Christy’s birthday with a lunch next week I wanted to do something small to surprise her today. I bought a bunch of “happy birthday” Mylar balloons and was planning on surprising her at the gym, but I got her work out time wrong and by the time I got there she had left. First I want to say, who works out on their birthday?
Anyway, I knew she was going to be meeting her sister after the workout so I just tied the balloons to a lamp post outside her house. To me there is nothing happier than seeing balloons outside a house announcing, “something good is happening here today.” So happy birthday to Christy!
Although I did not have anyone graduating today, Carter was a Marshall for the ceremony and I know plenty of kids who were graduating. So I met Hannah Hannan at her office on the campus of UNC and we walked over to Memorial Hall where DA holds its graduation. It is wonderful to hold it there because it is big enough that anyone who wants to go can.
Carter’s second grade teacher, Karen Lovelace, sat with us in the balcony where we were surrounded by many beloved teachers from the pre-school, lower school and middle school. It was so nice that they come and see kids who they taught over the years graduate. They certainly aren’t required to come since they are plenty busy enough finishing up grading and writing report cards for their own students.
The graduation was nice. Lee Hark, the funniest Upper School Head in America, gave a fabulous speech. It made me sad that he will not be doing one for Carter’s graduation since he has been promoted to assistant Head of school for next year. Maybe as assistant head he could still give a speech.
Carol Folt, Chancellor at UNC, gave the official speech. It started off slow, but ended with six very sound bits of advice for the graduating seniors, which I wonder if they will remember by tomorrow? Then the diplomas were handed out. The clapping never stopped as each person’s name was read and they crossed the stage to accept their diploma from Micheal Ulku-Steiner, the Head of school.
With their caps and gowns on the only thing that made the girls standout from our vantage point in the balcony was their shoes. Many of them wore platform wedges, some high heels, some sensible cute flat Jack Rodgers. The best were the ones who had a small heeled sandals because they walked with the most ease and grace as the eyes of hundreds of loved ones watched them cross the giant stage.
I was sad thinking about the year of lasts to come. Last first day of school, last last day, last day with all those loving and dedicated teachers. I know that Carter will be rejoicing. I want to remember to help her pick the right shoes to wear with her cap and gown. It seems like it might be the last time I may have an opportunity to suggest school foot wear to her.
Nice Surprise
Posted: May 26, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
Today was our last school parent’s council meeting of the year. It is really not so much a meeting as a thank you lunch. I counted it was my twelfth time I have been to this lunch since I have volunteered to chair some committee since the second year that a Carter was at DA.
I parked in front of the lower school, since the lunch is normally held outside at the overhang and followed some very young mothers into the school. I recognized them as people who I knew when they were students at DA when Carter first started school. It made me feel very old.
As I tried to get outside I was waylaid because the preschoolers were coming in from spirit day all in their matching shirts. Memories of Carter and her friends came flooding back. I felt like they were just that little a week ago, when they would be strapped into the car seats in the back of my land cruiser singing.
Eventually I found the lunch in the auditorium. I was definitely one of the oldest mothers. I sat with my friends Michelle and Chesley who both have juniors in Carter’s class. We represented the old guard in the room. Karen, the out going parent’s council president, got up to start the meeting. She called on Leslie Holdsworth, the director of development to come and give a special award. This was something different than usually had happened at any of the last twelve lunches of this kind.
She asked me to get up and she presented me with a cool piece of art to commemorate my seven years as auctioneer. It was a very nice surprise. She announced that I had been involved with raising over a million dollars. What she did not do was also credit all the hundreds of volunteers who work every year to make that auction happen. The auctioneer is a small cog in the much bigger machine.
I have one last year on parent’s council, still chairing parent’s of alumni, where I have a chance to get that community going before I officially become a member of it. Once Carter graduates, in exactly a year, I will no longer have any official relationship with Durham Academy. It is hard to believe that after fourteen years of volunteering I will just be the person who paid for my child to go there.
Procrastination Exercises
Posted: May 25, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Last year, at this time, I was busy cleaning out every closet in anticipation of redoing our floors. Although it was pure hell to go through it felt incredibly productive when it was all over. I vowed to continue the cleaning out process, but somehow a vow is not quite strong enough to keep me on that track. It is just like dieting. Good intentions don’t mean anything. You have to actually do it everyday.
I have been feeling guilty due to this lack of productivity so I thought I should get back to the ever giant and still growing list of things that need reorganizing. Attic- still on the list, crawl space – you can hardly crawl through, garage – growing mountain of things that need to be donated, Carter’s section of the house- forbidden zone, my office – the walls are closing in, kitchen cabinets- over flowing.
I can hardly make a turn without seeing someplace that needs attention. Well, not exactly. The closets that all were all cleaned out last year are still in pristine condition. All the more incentive that I should get to work on the rest.
Yesterday I had a virtually free day, just one conference call and one meeting. Nothing was holding me back from tackling a big job. Did I do it? Not on your life.
Well, my cleaning ladies were working so I did not want to get in their way. I needed to get my steps in and well, I was playing Catan. Feeling guilty I looked round my office for a job I could do that would count towards reorganizing and cleaning and my eyes landed on the four buckets of change that had been accumulating for the last year. I could roll all the coins! Wait, even better I could do it while walking on my walking desk.
Since our change sorting machine had corroded batteries I had to come up with a solution for putting the right number of coins in the rolls without counting everyone. My solution was to count one roll’s worth and then weigh it on my kitchen scale. A roll of $10 worth of quarters weighs 230 grams. Ta-da!
It took me the better part of a day and 13,000 steps, but in the end I had over $400 rolled and ready to deposit in Carter’s college fund. Yes, it was a very minor job as far as cleaning out goes, yes, it only netted the value of one college text book, yes, it was the least painful of my jobs, but it was a start, small that it was.
Peter Walsh, organizing guru would send me for time out for even considering this cleaning out, but in the words of my father, “it was better than a sharp stick in the eye.” I am not sure if I am ever getting to the attic, but maybe this summer I can at least do the garage and maybe my office. I figure I need to save some cleaning out for when Carter goes to college, otherwise I might have to get a real job.
Bad Essays
Posted: May 24, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
It’s a good thing I am not in college admissions. I am much too hard on applicants. Tonight I went to a talk a school given by an admissions director at UNC. He gave a very informative talk about how admission’s committees read applications. He was giving us the big overview, not the UNC specifics.
He talked all about the stuff I feel like has been drilled into my head, about kids taking an academically rigorous course load, constant improvement, how important teacher recommendations are and the Valhalla of a strong essay.
One thing that rang most true to me is this bit of advice, “if a friend found your essay on the ground, with no name on it, and read it, they should know instantly that it is yours.” Ta-da! The key for all writing, your voice should ring through.
After the introductory talk he gave us two actual application packets, of course with no names. They were the application, the essays, the transcript, the letters of recommendations, the whole shabang. We were told to read them and then we discussed the strengths and weakness of each application.
I hated all the essays. In one application that had two essays they did not read like they were written by the same person. There was no distinct voice and I did not feel like I got to know the writer any better after reading them. The real turn off was the essay that says why the student wanted to go to UNC. Practically every sentence began with “I”. “I will be a great asset to the University,” “I have something the school can benefit from,” “I am a leader,”… I, I, I.
Yes, you want to sell yourself to a school, but the last thing you want to be is a used car salesman. “I’ve got the perfect car for you. I know you will love it. Have I got a deal for you.”
The second application we read had an essay where the student thought so little of a teacher who took over a class mid-year that he asked if he could teach the class. He boasted that the grades on the test for the section he taught were the highest for the whole year.
Humility is a fine line to walk, but it feels like it is the tone that was missing from all the essays we read. First, I want to get to know someone, then I want to learn something about how they have grown, learned, changed, evolved or discovered something about themselves. Plus they need to do it in a short, concise manner and throw in a little humor. It is a tall order. No wonder it seems daunting.
I have no idea what I wrote about in my college essay. I was not a good writer or even a practiced writer, and my life of story telling was just beginning. What I do know is that at the age of 17 or 18 you don’t have to have some earth shattering story to tell. You don’t have to be the best at something, in fact it is probably better if you never claim you are great at anything. Just be human. Show how something someone did made you feel and how that made you act differently after that. Be vulnerable, be curious, be yourself.
If I were a college admissions officer I would only hope to admit those people whose voice I truly could hear and I liked.
When You Crave a BLT
Posted: May 23, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
It is the time of year when the tomatoes start to be yummy. I bought a few gorgeous tomatoes at the farmers market the other day and ever since have been craving a BLT. The only problem is that a normal BLT is that it is made a two slices of fattening bread, slathered with full fat mayo. No wonder I was craving one.
Carter wanted a Bahn Mi for dinner so I decided a I would make the spicy aioli with fat free mayo, lemon juice and sriracha for her. I decided it might make a lighter option for a BLT mayo. Now to the bread substitute. I looked in the fridge and found some beautiful hearts of romain. Ah Ha! BLT lettuce wraps! I added grilled chicken to bump up the protein and help limit the amount of bacon I needed. I chopped the bacon into smaller bits and sprinkled in on the lettuce, adding the tomatoes, chicken and just running the spoon of mayo across the top.
The BLT wraps totally satisfied my BLT craving. All of the flavor, none of the bread. Now I am tying to figure out how to do a bread less Ruben. I am not certain the the lettuce option will stand up to the griddle.
Breaking and Entering
Posted: May 22, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 3 Comments
I should have known something was wrong when Russ asked for my car keys, “because your passenger door is slightly ajar.” When he came back in the house and asked if I had taken everything out of my center console I knew my car had been broken into. I went down and saw that everything from my glove box and center console was sitting on the passenger seat, but it was the smell of cigarette smoke that was the most assaulting.
I made the mistake of disturbing the scene by searching through the mess to see what was taken. Of course my beloved Lulu Guinness striped change purse where I keep my mah Jongg money was gone with all of about twenty dollars in change, but nothing else as far as I could tell.
“Those idiots left your Tom Ford sunglasses,” Carter exclaimed, determining them to be major amateurs. Carter said I should call the police and I thought, what for, a change purse? Then as I was looking at the inside of my car I noticed the cause of the cigarette stench, the idiots had left the butt of a camel cigarette in the cup holder. Now we had evidence so I got out of the car hoping I had not messed it up too much and called the police.
Within moments a very nice young female patrol officer came. She told me that there have been at least ten break ins like mine in the neighborhood this week. Russ came out and we looked around to see if we could find my change purse. We followed a trail of coins, obvious winnings from my gambling addiction and Russ spotted an opened bag of pretzels under a tree with a dozen stale pretzels next to it.
We immediately recognized the bag as the four year old one that had been in my glove compartment. The thieves had taken it and once they tasted them, discarded the terrible old pretzels right at the end of my driveway. The officer was thrilled with the find and finger printed the whole bag getting a number of usable prints.
She then finger printed the car and retrieved the butt. As she was getting my prints to compare against the ones she already had I asked her what in the world a charge would be for stealing my change purse? “Breaking and entering!” She just was happy to have any evidence since there had been so many of the same break ins with no help to determine the robbers.
Carter and Russ got printed too and Carter was furious that I had not interrupted her from the boredom of writing a paper to help collect evidence.
I was fairly certain I had locked my car as I always do, but must not of since their was no sign of tampering to get in my car and the other cars in the driveway were not disturbed. It was very bold to come down our gravel driveway with our bedroom just above the car, but we heard nothing last night. Make sure your cars are locked, but if they are not, leave some old rotten snack food inside. Just make sure to wipe it clean of your prints so you can get evidence of these idiots who are breaking in. They are smoking camels, have pockets full of change and will certainly not be wearing designer sunglasses.
Arts and Crafts at Our House
Posted: May 21, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
A couple of nights ago Carter showed me a beautiful film on You Tube of someone doing calligraphy. I have always loved everything about beautiful lettering and wished I just had better hand writing.
Yesterday Carter told me that she needed to do some artwork for a class project in school, asking if we could go to the AC Moore today. I am never one to turn down a trip to an art store. As we started talking about what she was going to do for her class I mentioned to her that I had been thinking about the calligraphy she had shown me and was interested in trying to learn it. “I want to learn too,” Carter enthusiastically responded. There is no better time to pick up a new hobby than right before exams.
I told a Carter than she needed to work on her art project and I will start to try and figure out the calligraphy and as soon as exams are over she can pick it up. It helped that AC Moore did not have a huge inventory of calligraphy stuff and I needed to order a few things from Amazon.
So while Carter worked to do a drawing of a war correspondent during World War I, I was studying the letters on a calligraphy website. It is much harder than I thought, especially since I was trying to learn first with a slanted maker and not jumping right into a messy ink pen. Carter was much more successful with her charcoal pencil.
Maybe this is something we can’t teach ourselves, so I looked on the web to try and find a class. After a couple of clicks I discovered a week long calligraphy retreat held at Camp Cheerio, Carter’s beloved true home. Seems like a sign that we need to learn calligraphy. We probably still need to find a local class and practice a while before we go off on a week long camp, but it seems like a fun activity for the future. Carter thought it was promising thing for me to get involved with as she is preparing to go to college. I doubt it will become a career, just would be nice to address invitations in a neater hand.
Party, Party, Party
Posted: May 20, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Today was one celebration after another and I will not complain about it. I got to start my day with a special trip to the needlepoint store with my friend Jeanne. She moved away to DC last year and I miss seeing her smiling face on a regular basis. Luckily she got to spend the night in Durham last night and needed a visit to see Nancy at Chapel Hill Needlepoint. I have been slow on my stitching thanks to the craziness of May so I loved having an excuse to go and stitch and visit at the same time.
That fun was followed by the last of my birthday celebration lunches. Yes, my birthday was seventeen days ago, but yesterday my friend Jean, a different Jean, took me to lunch for my birthday. It is our annual tradition where I love catching up. Then today was a lunch organized by my friend Hannah with six friends where we went to the WADU and all ordered the same salad. It is just and excuse to get together and have lunch, but if it wasn’t somebody’s birthday we just wouldn’t do it. Thank goodness we all have birthdays every year.
Russ flew in from Denver this morning on the red eye. I wasn’t sure if after ninety minutes of sleep all night if he was going to be able to make it to the last celebration of the day, but he rallied. We went to the Nasher Museum for the Durham Academy fund thank you event. It used to be called the headmaster’s dinner, but now is called the Cavalier Circle. That name does not mean anything to Russ, so I told him it was the headmaster’s dinner. He does not realize that we also don’t call the head of school the headmaster any more.
The event was actually really fun. Some of the kids from In The Pocket, the musical group, performed. Since it was at the museum we looked at the art. Russ loved the modern art. One of the coolest pieces was a big mirrored bowl. From far away you appeared upside down in the mirror, but as you got closer your image flipped to right side up. How do it do it?
That was a lot of celebrating for one day. Amazingly Russ stayed out late and I had to drag him home. Hopefully he will sleep through the night since he missed most sleep from last night. I of course will be up late since my extroverted self was with people all day. I need a day off from partying so I can sleep.
Orchid Symphony
Posted: May 19, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
I am not a good indoor gardener. When I was a child my mother grew all kinds of spider plants and wandering Jews inside. I think as a way to combat seasonal disorder for the long winters we had in Connecticut. Since I live in the more temperate climate of North Carolina I prefer to garden outdoors. That being said I may need to switch to inside if the herd of neighborhood deer keep eating my garden.
My only inside plants are my large and growing collection of orchids that Russ has been giving me as presents when he is at a loss for a gift. I count eighteen plants right now. I did ask him to stop giving them to me since I am running out of space to keep them, but somehow the florist assumed I always get orchids and changed his cut flower order to three orchids in one pot for my birthday.
The good news about orchids is they are very low maintenance. At least I don’t seem to do a thing for them except try and remember to water them about every 8-9 days. My sunroom apparently is the perfect room getting hot in the day and cold at night to sustain the orchids.
I never know when they are going to bloom and usually I have at least a quarter of the plants in flower at any one time. Some bloom twice a year and others three or four times. Somehow today when I came in the sunroom to try and get some natural light to brighten my day and noticed that practically all the orchids are in bloom at the same time.
I wish I could take credit for how beautiful they look, but only God could come up with this strange plant, which is not very pretty without flowers but simply glorious when it blooms.
Made Me Smile
Posted: May 18, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
When the request first came into me asking if I was free at 12:30 on a Wednesday my initial reaction was no, since Wednesday is the sacred day of Mah Jongg. If someone needed me early in the morning or later in the day on hump day that would be fine, but never during the middle, lunch hour of Mah Jongg. Now, not everyone is as precious with their Mah Jongg commitment as I am, but I never would skip the game to do something mundane like laundry or the dentist.
That being said, the request was for me to go to Croasdaile Village, a local retirement community, to accept the donation they were making from their virtual food drive and for me to say a few words. Croasdaile had been doing drives for the Food Bank of Central and Eastern NC for a number of years, but this year was their biggest donation ever and they wanted to have a little ceremony for the BIG check presentation. Of course Mah Jongg could be abbreviated for such an occasion.
I arrived at the main desk where the cutest couple, Larry and Betsy DeCarolis, chairs of the food drive, met me with great enthusiasm. They escorted me to the auditorium where I met other residents who were donors to their drive. I helped Besty hang the posters she had made to publicize the drive as residents, rolled in and took their seats.
It was quite an official occasion. I was seated with seven other dignitaries and given the addenda for the presentation. Men in suits and ties read from prepared remarks extolling the virtues of Larry and Betsy in their leadership to raise the money. I, having no need for a script when talking about this subject, got up and talked about how invisible food insecurity is in our society and the shame people feel about needing help with food. The audience gave a little gasp when I told them that just the Durham branch of the food bank serves over 106,000 people annually, some week after week. I thanked them profusely and promised that we would take their $15,300 and turn it into $153,000 worth of food.
Afterwards, Betsy hugged me and told me she had the best time running the food drive. I told her I hoped she would do it again next year and promised to come back. I left on a cloud much bigger than one I would have been on if I had played Mah Jongg all day and won every hand.
Getting a chance to have a ceremony to hand over their check meant the world to these people. They should be celebrated because they did a wonderful thing to encourage their community of people, who are well taken care of, to share with others who need help. Thanks Croasdaile Village and especially Larry and Betsy. You made me smile the whole afternoon.
My Dad is 78 Today!
Posted: May 17, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 4 Comments
As long back as I could remember one of my earliest and most recurring thoughts was that I was lucky that I had one of the best fathers on earth. Not all my friends felt that way about their own fathers, but they sure liked mine. He wasn’t always around because he worked so hard, but when he was he always showed a lot of interest in me, what I was doing, what I liked and what I was learning.
I was never too young for him to teach me things that were important to him, like what every make and model of car was on the road, both coming toward us and going away from us. He loved to talk with me about his work and I learned early on about business, hard work and how to deal with dopes you might have to work with, and there are a lot of dopes.
He taught me to have a strong handshake and to look people in the eye when I spoke with them. Laughter was ever present and telling a good story was a highly valued skill in our house. He made me more articulate, especially when arguing. When I was in the height of pupperty and could not find the words in a disagreement he would scream at me to stop crying and to just talk.
He had important rules like, “never run one of your cars into another one of your cars,” and “always let your mother sleep late on Saturdays.” If there is one word to describe my father it is generous, often to a fault. Although he slurs all nationalities in an equal opportunity way, he is the kindest customer to every taxi driver and waiter he ever met.
He is emphatic in his speech, often repeating the important words for emphasis. I have never been at a loss to understand where he stood on most issues. He loves to teach and has had a sense of urgency about everything he did. As far back as I can remember he would start a sentence with, “I need to tell you this before I die…” It was unsettling for a five year old, but now I know it means it is important to him.
Mostly, I am happy that I have had fifty-five years of him “teaching me stuff,” and hope we have many more. I am lucky that he is still able to drive himself from the farm to my house to install by birthday present of “the best sound system” and go out to lunch with me to celebrate his birthday.
If you know my dad, Ed Carter, send him an email and wish him a happy birthday. He doesn’t have Facebook, too many dopes might want to be friends with him if he did, but I’ll pass along any messages.
Great New Salads in Durham
Posted: May 16, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
One of the perks about “working” at Durham Magazine is my quarterly lunch with my beloved editor, Andrea Griffith Cash. Since a huge part of the Magazine is about local food we are sure to try one of the new spots in town. Usually the problem is that so many places have yummy, delicious, and fattening fare. You can find a world class pizza, but finding a good for you and drool worthy salad is much harder than it should be.
Imagine my delight when Andrea suggested we meet at a new spot of ninth street called Happy and Hale, a salad and juice bar. I googled it and there is one in Raleigh, but the Durham one is not listed yet. Based on what I read I was excited to try it.
The bright sunny restaurant has big glass doors that open out to the street where there are a few tables on the sidewalk. It was already getting crowded so I dropped a couple of Durham Magazines on one of the tables, just inside, as we waited to order.
It is a place like Sweet Greens in DC or Hale and Hearty Soup in NYC. You can get one of their pre-determined salad offerings or a pick your own type thing. They had a lot of different greens as base offerings, with my go to arugula being one of them, three stars just for that. I got roast butternut squash that I was wary about because it still had the skin on it. My cute salad maker told me it was tender as could be and she was right. Roast red peppers, caramelized onions, cherry tomatoes, goat cheese and chicken and I was a happy camper. Andrea had the Acai bowl with coconut chips and granola. She liked it. It screamed breakfast to me.
As we were still in line I noticed a man had sat down at our table, so from across the room I let him know those were our magazines. He got the hint and moved over one seat. Turned out he was a photographer who would like to work for the magazine so he was nice to us when we came and sat down at our saved table.
After Andrea and I gabbed and enjoyed our healthy lunch a nice guy named Tyler, who is someone of authority at Happy and Hale, came by to clear our bowls and asked how everything was. After many compliments I did request unsweet tea and lemons cut into wedges, since the only tea they had was sweetened with agave. He promised that it was coming and he would never cut lemons into anything else but squeezable wedges (that is my life long crusade).
If you are looking for a healthy lunch I recommend Happy and Hale, in the spot where the old Duck shop used to be on the south end of ninth street across the street from the play house. Now, if we can just get more white table cloth restaurants to offer tasty, big and low calorie salads my life’s work of searching for lunch is half done. I still have to tackle the half moon slivers of lemons that can’t be squeezed thing. it.
In The Blink of an Eye
Posted: May 15, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Today we went to a brunch in celebration of Leander Perun’s pending graduation from Durham Academy in less than two weeks. It was a beautiful occasion with brilliant blue sky and friends and families gathered to enjoy a yummy meal. Leander’s mom, Stephanie, hired Carter to photograph the occasion which kept her behind the camera where she loves to be.
As I watched Carter taking pictures of the guests, most of whom I have known since before they knew their own name I had to blink back the tears. The years have rushed by, but one thing that is true is that these kids came out the way they were going to be.
Leander, as a young woman now, poised to go to Denison to play lacrosse, is the same kind easy going person she always has been. I pulled up pictures from a week Leander spent at “Camp Gracie” in 2007. Camp Gracie, is what the girls called going to spend a week at my parent’s farm, since Gracie is my father’s grandfather name.
Since Stephanie was a full time working Mom, finding things for Leander to do that did not involve Stephanie having to drive her hither and yon was a help. Carter was going to a week of riding camp at Mrs. Brown’s very ramshackle barn, about 20 minutes from my parents farm. Horses were Carter’s thing, but Leander was a very good sport about spending the 100 degree days out at the fly infested barn on the world’s oldest horses.
I would drive the girls out, leave them with their packed lunches and pick them up eight hours later. Leander had a wonderful attitude about the whole thing. After the barn the girls would come back to the farm and swim, kayak, eat wonderful Gracie cooked meals and drive the farm vehicles around. Everything they did was OK with Leander, even if it was not her first choice.
That get along, be grateful, make the most of things attitude has never changed about Leander. Now she is graduating and going on to the next life’s step. I know she will succeed because that is what she does. She puts her head down, does the work, and is always pleasant about it, even if it is not her first choice. Well now she is going to her first choice, something she deserves.
Congratulations Leander. You are a joy, always have been and I am sure always will be. I have loved watching you grow up.
Weed or Beauty?
Posted: May 14, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Due to my hurt back Russ volunteered to do the weekly weeding of my garden. Thanks to all the rain we have had, the flowers and vegetables are growing wild, but then so are the weeds. I hobbled out to the garden to instruct Russ about which were the weeds and which were not. Sometimes it is hard to tell arugula from a weed.
At first Russ said he was going to pull the weeds by hand, but I encouraged him to use a hoe, for speed and to save his back. I went back in the house because the worst thing I could do when a favor is offered is supervise.
“I owe you some zinnias,” we’re the first words out of Russ mouth when he came inside. “I’ll go and buy some plants now.” I told him that he did not owe me anything and that I will will plant with seeds, since that is how I got them in the first place. “I used the hoe and just kept going and before I realized I was in the flower area and I dug up the zinnias.”
Zinnia seedlings look very weed like. It was not surprising that he made this small mistake. I have plenty of seeds that my father gave me, so tomorrow I will replant. No repenting needed for replanting.
So often in life we can’t tell the weeds from the flowers when they are in their early stages. You never know what is going to grow up to be a beautiful flower and what is going to a choking weed. The vegetables are the same way. As a seedling a green bean plant could easily appear to be an invasive weed. It is only after letting it grow for a month before you realize what a delicious producer you have on your hands.
It takes time, care and tender hands to raise a productive garden, just like most things in life. Never recklessly yank something out until you are really sure you don’t want it. You may be ending the growth of the best thing you have. Is it a weed or is it a beauty? I venture that most things are beautiful if you have patience to let it flourish to its full potential.
We Have A Competent Almost Adult
Posted: May 13, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
When Russ and I learned we needed to go to South Carolina overnight for a funeral Carter asked us if she could stay home alone. Not exactly alone, home with Shay Shay. We decided that she was trustworthy enough to handle staying home one night alone, so we let her do it.
Carter already drives herself to and from school, she cares for young children, can handle large animals and can navigate her way alone on a foreign city’s subway system. Why couldn’t she stay home in the only house she has ever lived in?
After the funeral I received a text of the steak, mashed potato and okra dinner Carter had bought and cooked for herself. The words read, “I am a competent adult.” When I faced time with her before bed she was happy and loving having the house all to herself. I thought about how much I love to be alone in my own house and understood the fun for her.
In the morning she texted me about feeding and waking Shay before going off to school. “Thanks. I really liked being on my own for a while. It motivated me.” How wonderful I thought. Practice adulthood is something I think is so helpful. For me, practice letting go was also good. I had no doubt she could care for herself and Shay, but I was pleasantly surprised by how clean everything was when I got home.
Small doses of responsibility and adulthood doled out over the next year seem like the plan I should go with. It seems like just yesterday that Carter would not sleep away from home. Thanks to Hannah, who made it her mission to get Carter to feel comfortable sleeping over with her friend Campbell when they were six. Now Carter looks forward to her six weeks away from home during the summer. All practice for the day she goes and makes her own home somewhere else. Now I need to practice not missing her.
Goodbye Gary
Posted: May 12, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
More than twenty years ago Judy McMeekin started working for my dad as a book keeper in Pawleys Island. That was when I first met her and her gravely voiced husband, Gary. Judy went from working for my Dad to working for Russ and is now the comptroller of his company. We have gone on cruises in the Mediterranean and trip to the Mayan Riviera with Judy and Gary and he was always up for a good time. Gary would always ask how you were with actual care and then see if you needed a drink from the bar.
Sadly, Gary passed away this week at the much too young an age of 68. Russ, his business partner Rich and I drove down to Surfside, South Carolina for the funeral. We arrived at the church almost an hour before the service began so we could see Judy and their son Gabe and found the parking lot practically full already. Judy called the service a sellout. Clearly, Gary was well loved by the many people he interacted with from football referees colleagues, to the relators whose houses he appraised, to his fellow parishioners at their church.
After the service Russ, Rich and I went to grab dinner before Russ took Rich to the airport to fly to Boston. On the way to the airport Russ dropped me off at the hotel I booked us into. Rich got quite a laugh as we pulled up to the Surfside Beach Resort Hotel. The parking lot was full of cycles of the motor type.
Gary, with quite a sense of humor, had passed away just before famed Biker Week in Myrtle beach. The funeral was a respectful twelve hours before the official opening of the nightmare time here on the Grand Strand. Of course Gary could have picked any other of good biker week times to go, like black biker week, or gay biker week or black gay biker week, but no, he picked the granddaddy of all, plain ‘ole biker week. Despite our lofty spot on the seventh floor, I can still her the roar of the Harley’s as they rumble into the parking lot.
I figure this is the best joke Gary could play on us. We would not have missed the service because Judy means the world to us. I am really looking forward to getting a good sight of the people attached to those bikes in the light of day tomorrow. Seeing one biker is not so bad, but seeing a highway full of them reenforces my dislike of all things Harley. Of course, the average age of the attendees at biker week keeps getting older and soon funerals attached to biker week might be common place. Gary was a trend setter.
My Back Went On Strike
Posted: May 11, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a commentI am not one of those sports crazy people who lives to exercise. I do it in hopes that it will help keep me in better shape and so that I can be fully functional in my old age. I don’t usually complain about it, I just do it.
Well, today while working out with my trainer and my friend Christy I did something, what I don’t know, but it caused me to pull a muscle in my back. It wasn’t one of those, “oh my goodness, what did I just do?” moments. It was the, “now that I drove home why can’t I get out of the car?” pains.
I took some pain killer and went about my day, mostly sitting, but things did not improve. I came home to lay down and decided that I was going to skip my two evening commitments. Is this what old age has come to?
Am I destined to only doing one thing a day and then need an afternoon nap to make it through the rest of the evening? Carter and Russ gave me a terrible birthday present of a weekend away to figure out what I am going to do with my life when Carter goes to college in 15 months. I was not worried about what I was going to do. Now I see that I am going to have to test drive scooters and look at ramps for our house.
I am sure that is a better sounding plan to Carter than my previously unannounced plan to buy an apartment in the city where she is going to college and have lunch with her everyday between my morning exercise and afternoon walk.
All kidding aside. I think maybe this hurt back is just a way to give me a night off from the overload of May. Sorry I did not make my meetings tonight. My back went on strike and I choose not to cross its picket line. A huge dose of sleep/pain killer and a long sleep is what I look forward to.
Garden Club Palooza
Posted: May 10, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
Tonight was my favorite Garden club meeting of the year, the May picnic with spouses. This year we hit the jackpot with Anna Whalen as the house hostess and perfect weather where we were able to enjoy a beautiful night outside in her glorious garden.
All the members bring a dish to share and we may not all be good gardeners, but most everyone can make something yummy to eat. So for Russ this is a good party because the food is good and he knows almost all the people at the party. That and the fact that it starts at 6:00 and we are home by 8:30, that’s a good party for us.
This year the highlight of the party were the flower arrangements made by Club member Stacey Burkert. For the record she is a good gardener and can cook. She was called in at the last minute to produce the works of art from flowers she found around Anna’s property. The star was this three foot tall green and white arrangement. You can hardly tell how big it is since it is Anna’s great room with 20 foot ceilings, but trust me, it was spectacular.
Stacey has just created a company called Fig Tree Designs to do these kind of things professionally. She reminded me that she first has to renovate her new house before going great guns into flower and garden design, but I’ve seen her produce masterworks from found items before so I’m sure she will be called upon well before her house is finished. She also has three kids to raise, so what’s renovating a house and making flowers arrangements all at the same time? Stacey can do it.
Thanks to all the hostesses of the party. It really was a lovely evening.
All of North Carolina Does NOT Support HB2- Time to Succeed
Posted: May 9, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized 3 CommentsAs the national news leads off today with the story of North Carolina’s idiot governor counter suing the federal government over the clearly discriminatory HB-2 law I get more and more angry. This ridiculous law that was passed by an emergency called legislature and signed by the governor in less than 24 hours has been the worst kind of government action seen in decades.
The state legislature spent $47,000 to have that “emergency” meeting. That was just the beginning of spending over this ridiculous law. Hundreds of businesses immediately came out against the law. Companies that had planned to expand in North Carolina changed their minds. Concerts and events were canceled. Money that would be spent in the state was not, because the rest of the nation thinks we are bigots. Well, some North Carolinians are and I am here to say they don’t speak for or represent me or most of the people I know.
Now that our governor is getting in a pissing match with a much bigger dog, the Feds, he has had to hire outside council since our attorney general will not support HB2. This is our governor throwing good money after bad. Stop trying to save face, McCrory, you are on the wrong side of history. I am yet to know of any women who were attacked in a bathroom by a transgender person, as you claim the law is needed to protect. Stop using women as your excuse to be blatantly discriminatory.
After looking at the list of legislators who voted for this dog’s breakfast of a law it is clear that the more rural areas of the state are the ones in support. I see the best answer to the problem is for Durham, along with Chapel Hill, Carrboro, Cary, Greensboro, Asheville, Winston-Salem, Charlotte and Raleigh, excluding the governor’s mansion, to succeed from the state. Let’s see how well the state would do without most of the economic hubs.
Since those legislators do not understand the constitution that rules us all I don’t want them to have access to spending our money to defend their ignorant actions. I want the progressive “Old North State” back, not this back water swamp the current government has turned into. McCrory, you don’t represent me in any way.
It’s Mother’s Day Everyday
Posted: May 8, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
I know a lot of you mothers out there are going to disagree with me, but to me everyday is Mother’s Day. There is nothing better than being a mother. I get great joy in the good, the bad and the ugly parts of all things mothering. I guess you could say I’ve always been one hell of a mother. One of my college friends, Hugh, even nick named me “maternal breast.”
Since I came to actual motherhood late I did not appreciate all that my mother did for all those years. So I would like to declare publicly that I have a great mother. I certainly would not be who I am today if she were not for my mother.
Nobody asked to be born and it is not my child’s responsibility to validate me as a mother. It is a joy to be a mother. I don’t need a day to know that I am appreciated as a mother. I get that everyday in just watching Carter grow into the person she is meant to be.
Happy everyday to anyone who is lucky enough to be a mother. Not everyone has that privilege or wants it. So for some people Mother’s Day is sad. If you are missing your own mother or the child you never had I hope that you can take solace in this day. You don’t have to actually give birth to “mother” someone. I love being a bonus mother to a few of Carter’s friends.
So hooray for motherhood. None of us would be here without mother’s. As far as I can tell mother’s are not going out of style.
Less Dana, More Good 