Recurring Nightmares

The other night I woke myself up to get out of a nightmare I was having. I think I only recently realized I could do that. Maybe in the last year have I developed the consciousness when I am having a bad dream that I don’t have to endure it to the end if I just wake up. I wish someone had told me earlier that it was possible to do that.

In my dream a few days ago I dreamt I still worked at my first job out of college. My boss had called me and asked me what my plans for the day were and I didn’t want to tell him I didn’t have any. So I started making up appointments in a panic. For the record this never actually happened, but it sure felt real in my dream.

The day I was having this dream was the day I was teaching three giant classes. I don’t know if I was feeling anxiety about that big day. It wasn’t like I didn’t have a plan and it certainly wasn’t like I have a boss.

Of all the jobs I have had I don’t have any recurring nightmares about any of them except that first one. Granted I worked for some real dolts, but they never were really mean to me. I saw them be mean to plenty of other people. I think they were afraid of me, as they should have been. I was a lot meaner myself back then.

My only other recurring nightmare is one where I am in college right before exams and I discover I was registered for a class I never went to and I have to take the final exam. The class is always something like a foreign language, something I can’t bullshit.

The funniest thing about this dream is in real life I hardly ever missed class, except gym. I also tend to not miss appointments, but in the nightmare I am not like myself at all.

It seems odd that I only dream bad things about not being myself and never have dreams about being a model or an astronaut or some other absurd thought.

At this point in life I just glad that I can wake up and be myself and not have to answer to someone else. That’s better than a dream.