The Stupidest Holiday

How the hell did groundhog day ever get so big? I’ve lived in the south and I’ve lived in the north and winter was never over on February 2 any place. It might be a different story in March, but February??? No way, winter is just getting a hold on you. You might have a warm day or even week, but a blizzard can quickly follow those false springs. So the whole premise of even saying if winter is over or you will have six more weeks is just ridiculous.

Now let’s get to the groundhog part. I have never met a groundhog I thought was useful for anything. As a child I remember a groundhog decimating my father’s vegetable garden. He was so mad that he went out and shot it with a shot gun. Killing it upset him so much that he cried and was then mad that the groundhog made him kill him. This is the logic that comes with having a gun at the ready. It was a terrible day at our house.

My first question is do animal’s recognize their shadow’s? That seems like a very advanced brain concept. As far as I can tell from my experience with that groundhog my father shot is they aren’t too bright. That groundhog not only did not recognize his shadow, he didn’t recognize my father standing there with a shot gun. I think their eyesight is poor at best so why does anyone take a ground hog’s word whether he sees his shadow? In actuality it’s those men who hold the poor rodent up who say that the groundhog produced a shadow, but they don’t know what the furry thing saw or didn’t see.

Let’s put us all out of our misery of holding out hope that winter might be over. It isn’t, accept it. Stop torturing rodents by letting men in top hats hold them up over their heads. The only fun that could come out of it is if the groundhog would poop on the guy holding him.

This is not a day that needs any attention. We have real things to concentrate on and they never involve rodents of any kind.



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