I Want Old Fashioned Packaging

Back in the olden days, like five years ago, I could hold my tooth brush in one hand while still groggy from sleep and squeeze tooth paste from the tube with the other. Did not matter how awake I was, it was an easy job even as the tube got low on toothpaste, squeezing was still a one handed job.

Not today. Enter the world of stand up tooth paste tubes. Some brilliant yuckty, yuck thought we needed our toothpaste to stand up on its cap. In order to do that the cap had to be greatly enhanced. One would think that it would also make the toothpaste fall to the opening end thanks to gravity.

Unfortunately, tooth paste is happy to stick to the crimped end of the tube, no matter which way the tube is sitting. Now, only when the tube is relatively new, can I hold my tooth brush in one hand and and squeeze with the other and actually get any toothpaste on the brush. Once half the toothpaste has been used getting the rest out is a two handed job. This frustrates me to no end because when I first wake up my night time teeth make me crazy so I want to brush them before I do anything else. I am often still half asleep so lining up my tooth brush and tube for the perfect paste application is difficult. This and I am not even hungover.

The same frustration came to me when I was trying to get some mayo out of the Duke Squeeze bottle someone in this house bought. I am perfectly happy with the old fashioned jar of mayonnaise. I am not bothered by having to get a knife out to get the condiment out of the jar.

The squeeze bottle, like the tooth paste, is good if the bottle is more than half full, but once you get down the the last bits, forget trying to get it out. The worst thing is, even if you remove the stand up cap the bottle is shaped so that even with a knife or spoon you can not get the last four table spoons out of the jar.

You can’t get any of this Mayonnaise out no matter how hard you try.

It’s just four table spoons you say, but what if they are the only mayo you have in the house and you only need one table spoon? Now that’s frustrating.

Thankfully I can still buy mayo in an old fashioned jar which is reusable for so many purposes, but getting toothpaste in an old fashioned tube is next to impossible. I may have to resort to learning how to make my own tooth paste. I know it won’t have fluoride, or plaque removers or pain killers for sensitive teeth, but if I can administer it to my brush half asleep it is better than the nothing I am getting out of the tube now.

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