True Self Awareness is Hard

Today was Holiday Bridge at the Bridge Academy. It is a big production event. 164 people playing bridge at the same time, but before hand a really nice lunch made by a Robin Marin with a crew of elves. I was a kind of sub elf, just asked to bring a dessert. I made my yummy orange, ginger molasses cookies which are a good adult cookie. They were a hit and perhaps I should keep to providing cookies.

My dear bridge partner Deanna, who has so many master points I have to play with the best players when we play together, asked me to play Holiday Bridge with her. She has her choice of partners so it was kind of her to ask me. We started off strong, at least that is what we thought. We had some great wins. When you play competitive bridge you are never sure how you are doing until it is all over since you are playing against everyone in the room.

Overall, we were happy as we moved from table to table. We didn’t make what we thought were any major gaffes and we set some opponents on a couple of big hands.

Perhaps it was the holiday goodies we had for lunch, or just the euphoria of the sparkly season, but when we arrived at our 13 table of opponents we were still happy and they were despondent. They said they had a terrible day of bridge and we just looked at each other a little smugly thinking we had a good day. We played our last two boards against them and the bridge mate, which is the computer scorer, announced we had not had such a good day, in fact our despondent opponents had a slightly better day than us.

Deanna and I are rarely shocked about how well we are or are not doing. This poor placement came as a blow. If we are playing badly we usually know it, and conversely if we are playing well we usually place high. This was a huge disconnect, it makes me question my own system of self awareness.

I come from the school of fake it until you make it. This works in lots of things, except bridge. As a self taught cook, baker, quilter, needlepointer, crafter, mah Jongg player there is no ranking system. In bridge you are constantly being ranked and have to be taught almost everything, over and over again. It’s a life’s work. I am truly humbled today. This bridge was no Holiday.