Don’t Walk Abreast at Costco

Today was errand day. Since Shay was out of chicken I had to make a Costco run because we spoil our dog more than our baby. It was only once I had parked my car did I realize that the start of college move in had started. I was the lone North Carolina plate amongst cars from a New Jersey, New York and Connecticut. I thought there was a higher number of Range Rovers than is normal for our Costco.

There are lots of benefits to living in a college town flanked by two other college towns, but this time of year is not it. Once inside the giant box I was accosted by parents and their college aged child walking abreast with not just one cart, but also a flat bed cart. I know that it is not official move in day so I am assuming these were either athletes, or upper classmen outfitting off campus apartments. From the number of flat screen TVs I saw being purchased I might have thought they were people building sports bars.

One family had three different TV’s. I saddled up beside them pretending to be interested in a smart TV just so I could figure out why they were buying three.

Daughter: I think that 55 inch is good for the living room and the two 32 inches can go in my bedroom and on the porch.

Father: Do you need one for the kitchen?

Daughter: No, I can see the the living room from the kitchen.

Porch TV? I didn’t see any weather proof TV’s. With all these TV’s how does she have any time left over to study. I wonder if she is majoring in television production?

The worst Costco college shoppers are the international students because they don’t have parents with them and they appear to have unlimited funds. I watched two young men from an Asian country argue in their native tongue as they tried to load a leather sectional onto one of those flat bed carts. I was dying to know if they Ubered to the Costco.

I tried my best to maneuver past these large groups of students as they loaded up on paper products. As I was on the back stretch of the store, with a long clear aisle all the way to the pharmacy area I thought I could make some good time to the cash registers since the students we not there buying number ten cans of tomatoes. Just as I was nearing the pharmacy a lone very elderly woman pulled out of the detergent aisle right in front of me. I thankful I was not pushing a flat bed full of TV’s because I would have run her over.

She slowly weaved back and forth down the aisle making it difficult for me to pass her. God, where are the New Jersey families when I need them to push her out of the way. The old woman paused at the pharmacy and I was able to make a quick curve around her by the vitamins and make the 100 foot slide on into the checkout just behind three other people.

By the time my cart reached the belt I turned to start putting my chicken and salmon up I noticed the old woman was coming up behind me, “You passed me and got my spot in the line.” I looked at her with a puzzled look since that was at least three minutes before. “I’m sorry,” I said “I didn’t realize the line started at the pharmacy.” I wasn’t trying to be cheeky, but really, I did not know there was a no passing zone. “Well, I would have gotten here before you, but I had to come down another aisle because all these kids were blocking the detergent aisle, so I should have been in line in front of you.”

She had to be kidding me, but I looked at her with sympathy and said, “I know, all those back to college shoppers.” I took my chicken and salmon off the belt, even though they we all the way at the cashier at this point. “Please go in front of me.” Shit, not just the college shoppers annoyed me at Costco, but so did the old lady locals.