Profiler Friend Who Can ID Every Slacker



Sometimes and I hope it is only sometimes, I write something unflattering about someone, but I try and not reveal their identity or too much information about them so that they are immediately identifiable. Of course this rule does not hold true if I am writing about a public figure, like Donald Trump, but for ordinary locals or even relatives I try and tell a story without naming names or writing anything that will get me sued.


This also goes for most businesses, especially small local ones. If I am saying something nice I tell you the name of the business all day long, with no gain for me, but if I am slamming the service or some other knuckle headed thing that happened at an establishment I try and not write anything that will cause them to go out of business. So many times when I have encountered the worst possible customer service I want to say, “I have a blog and I am not afraid to use it,” but I hold back knowing that revenge is an unattractive trait. Mostly I just want a good story to tell at the end of the day stupid people doing dumb things make good stories.


For some of you readers you are happy just to read the story and not know whom am I talking about, but for others of you, you have to know and know quickly. You know who you are, the people who call, text, message and practically send smoke signals asking me to reveal all the dirty little details. Only rarely does anyone call and ask me, “Were you writing about me?”


Today while I was with a group of friends one of them asked me about the identify of the unwashed hand pretzel scooper I had written about on Sunday. She did not actually ask me, but said, that person was so-and-so and she was right. I had not described the person by age, gender, ethnicity, home location, family status, or looks, yet she was still able to id the person on first guess.


Then another friend got an aggravating e-mail requesting help for something. As she sat fuming because some people on the group list are notorious non-helpers the Profiler, on first guess, was able to ID the non-helper who was causing the stir.


Now these two back-to-back identifications were impressive and clearly this friend might have missed her calling as a profiler, but more than anything it told me that people are really creatures of habit. If you are a good community member and pull your weight, do your part, chip in and are a positive contributor people will know and consider you as such. But if you are a slacker, free loader, non-responsive, self –important, taker people will also know this about you.


Which do you want to be? No one is perfect all the time, but apparently the imperfect are perfectly consistent in his or her poor member of society ways, so much so that when a bad story is being told about someone anonymous they are the first and correct guess. How horrible to be that person. I am not calling anyone out here, but I am telling this tale of warning. If you are always a slacker, no matter your excuse, just know people are watching and taking note. The best remedy is slacklessness, not always, just every so often. You want to throw the Profiler off.

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