Kitchen Invisible Fence



There are a lot of dogs that live in my neighborhood.  Most of them make me happy.  Some live in houses with invisible fences around their yard so they can joyfully remain outdoors while sticking to their property.  I have one neighbor who’s dogs never cross their invisible fence, but the ferocious barking they do when you walk by does give one pause to worry.  When my sweet Shay Shay and I venture past their house I call it running the gauntlet.


Now there is little reason that these two dogs, which appear to hate us for being in the vicinity of their house, should obey their invisible fence, other than the small shock they will take, but they do.  As I was walking past the other day with dogs barring their teeth to me and Shay shivering in fear I thought, “Boy, I need an invisible fence.”   Not for Shay and our yard, but for me in my kitchen.


I think that the same technology that keeps these protective guard dogs in their yard could be utilized to keep me away from naughty foods in my kitchen.  I could wire up a carb and calorie loaded zone with all the foods that are temptations to me and snap on the zapping collar.  Anytime I tried to cross into the “danger zone” I would take a big shock.


Not only would I steer clear of that area I’m sure I would develop an aversion to those foods other places than just in my kitchen.  Now I might take on a few disturbing ticks or twitches.  Dunkin’ Donut ads might send me into seizures, but hell it might be worth it.  Maybe I will be able to not only lose those last twenty pounds I have literally holding tight onto me, but keeping them off would be dramatically easier.


If this Kitchen Invisible Fence works for me I could wire up other people’s homes.  I will have to create a refrigerator zone as well as a pantry area, but I see this as a doable project.  If you see me out in public and I seem a little skittish and have some unsightly red marks on my neck it probably means I was tempted by a vanilla scone in the forbidden zone.

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