Mah Jongg Marathon

After teaching Mah Jongg all day and then coming back to Jill’s house what do you think we should do? Well invite Mary Jo to come over and play Mah a Jongg. Only take a break to eat a yummy low country boil dinner and get right back to mah Jongg.

Do I have time to write a blog. No way. It’s been a big day of Mah Jongg. I did get to have lunch with Charlotte between my classes, but we had a hard time finishing our conversation because at least 20 women came in to have lunch who I needed to hug and say hi too as they all were past students.

Charlotte was a good sport about all that. I am running out of people at the coral Bay Club who don’t know how to play Mah Jongg yet. But I did talk to them about a new idea for next summer. More info to come on that later.

Now I need to pass out so I can finish these last classes strong tomorrow.

The Friend of My Friend is My Friend

So far that phrase has held true almost 100% of the time. The friend of my friend is my friend.

If you are my friend it means I like you and usually that I trust you. Liking someone is fairly easy, but trusting someone is a bigger step. Trust is more important to me.

I honestly think I trust all of my friends. If I don’t trust someone I usually don’t like them much either and there is nowhere to go with me if those two factors don’t exist.

Figuring out if you like someone can take time and trust even longer. But there is a short cut. If you start with someone new, who is already the friend of someone else you like and trust then it’s like having a reference for them as a friend. So you can get to like and trust them twice as fast.

Tonight I am at the beach staying with my friend Jill. Our friends Martha and Bit could not be with us this week. We had so much fun being together last year so that is sad. So Jill invited her very dear friend Annette to visit during my visit. I quickly discovered she is so fun. And it was a short cut to liking her because she is Jill’s great friend and I adore Jill.

I can remember in grammar school when I had a friend who had another good friend who went to a different school. My friend talked about her all the time and I was a little jealous. Then I met her friend and I liked her, and the three of us became friends together.

My original friend said, “You guys really became good friends quickly.” In a kind of snarky way. I remember it like it was yesterday because I told her, “If she’s good enough for you she’s good enough for me.” And then she said, “I just want you both to still like me.” Oh Youth. It takes a long time to realize you can have more than one friend. And having a new one does nothing to diminish the old one.

Friends are like love. There is always the capacity to have more. So sharing your friends with each other is a joy. Thanks Jill, sharing Annette with me. It’s always great to meet a new friend.

How Can Jane be 70?

My darling friend Jane has her big birthday tomorrow. I was so lucky to be able to come to Kinston to celebrate with her and see my Kinston Friends. So I made a big day of it.

I brought my car into Massey to get serviced so it is ready to go to Maine. I can’t say it enough that they are the best car dealership in America. I talked to Mike Martin while I waited for my car, which made the time fly by.

I drove by Chick-fil-A to get some chicken and my friend Kristi was next to me. “I thought you were in Bermuda,” I said. She had just gotten back. Then I went to Walgreens and drove right past my friend Becky, but she didn’t see me. I love a small town. I saw more people I knew in 45 minutes just driving around.

I went to Debbie and Paul’s house where I am staying tonight and rested a little before Debbie and I went to Francis’s House to swim and celebrate Jane. It was a perfect day, but much too fast.

I didn’t get to play Mah Jongg with Paul, so I am just going to have to come back.

The best part is I got celebrate Jane’s big birthday, even if it was a day before her actual day. Sadly I did not see her husband Warren. Next trip. I will always be coming back to Kinston. I just love all my friends here.

Be Like Stephen Corbett

The canceling of Stephen Corbett’s show has been very upsetting to me. When a voice who speaks truth to power is silenced we are in trouble. I consider Stephen Colbertt a modern day prophet. He points out the injustices and calls out the evil in ways we can handle, through humor. Without prophets the only voices we hear are of the evil doers.

Today in church we read a declaration of faith that was written in the Presbyterian church in the late sixties, another troubled time and approved in the early 70’s and as all things in the Presbyterian church moved slowly through committee for adoption in 1977.

This one part of it spoke very loudly to me:

Good people of conscience need to continue to speak out against the ones who oppress the poor and and want us to worship them. We must listen to the prophets who call out the evil doers and not become complacent because we ourselves are comfortable.

We know right from wrong, but can not turn a blind eye to the wrong doers. They might try and take Steven Corbett’s show on one channel, but he does not have to be silenced everywhere. And when he can’t speak, it is time for us all to speak up as he would also do.

You can become a prophet too. Speak truth to power. Do not be afraid. Follow God’s hardest commandment to love your neighbor. And if you didn’t know, everyone is your neighbor.

Dreams Do Come True

I know I’ve told this story before, but now it has a happy ending. When Carter was about 4 years old, Russ was off on a long business trip so Carter and I spent all our time together. One night we went to the mall for dinner. We parked by Sears and walked in the store through the appliance department to get to the restaurant inside the mall.

On our walk back through the totally customer empty Sears after dinner we lingered by a cherry red washer dryer set. They were a first for colors in white goods since the fifties. Carter stood, mouth open staring at the magnificent pair. A bored salesman with no other prospects approached us to gage our interest in purchasing said machines. Before I could respond to his inquires Carter responded wistfully for us, “We are just dreaming.”

I am certain the appliance salesman thought I was a single mother living in a trailer and that we had no washer and dryer, the way that Carter responded, like a child used to poverty. Why else would a child be dreaming about appliances?

Russ asked ChatGPT to make a drawing of the scene. His favorite pastime this week.

Fast forward 22 years and Carter and Claire purchased their own Navy Blue Washer and Dryer set. Carter’s dream has finally come true. I wish that Sears guy had been the one to sell it to her because he had to have a little soft spot for the little girl who dreamed about getting a new washer.

Congratulations Carter and Claire. Now go wash some clothes.

Love of Trader Joe’s

Two weeks ago there was a terrible tropical storm that dropped over 8 inches of rain in Chapel Hill in a day. The shopping center where my Trader Joe’s is was flooded. The location has a history of being flooded, but this flood was by far the worst.

Every store and restaurant was devastated. So many were small locally owned businesses. The losses were crushing. I hope that they had flood insurance and that they can all recover.

Trader Joe’s, although not a mom and Pop, has a very loyal group of employees who have been there for a decade or more. The loss of Trader Joe’s for me is sad, not devastating, unless it never comes back.

Today I was teaching a private mah Jongg lesson in Raleigh. When it was over I ran by the Raleigh Trader Joe’s to pick up some of our favorites. While I was rolling my cart through the aisles looking for the Dark French roast coffee Russ likes I saw one of the guys from my Trader Joe’s. Then I saw a gal from my Trader Joe’s. I approached her and gave her my condolences. We don’t know each other, but she said she recognized me as one of her customers from Chapel Hill.

She told me the good news is they are rehabbing the store right now and hopes for it to be open in a few weeks. Hooray! I was so worried that everything would be shut down permanently. We need a Trader Joe’s near by.

Figure 8 was Just Great

I just returned home from three great days teaching at the Figure 8 Island yacht Club. It was a perfectly wonderful three days of classes with so many fabulous women. This was my second summer there and it was even better than last year.

I am not exactly sure how I lucked into this career, but I am so thankful that at this late stage of life this is what I get to do. Teaching mah Jongg is part stand up, part story teller, and part bossy older sister.

As much as I love teaching beginners, that is easy. Teaching people rules is fine. Lots of people do it just fine.

Teaching the Beyond the beginner class is not a class that I have found anyone else does, certainly not the way I do it. Beyond beginner is teaching people how to think and strategy and it is as much fun for me as it is for the students. At least they tell me it’s fun and they come back again and again as every class is different.

Thanks Figure 8 Ladies for being such a great group. I look forward to our paths crossing again.

Games with Lane

You would think that I would have enough of games after teaching 6 hours of mah Jongg today, but nooo. I am staying at my friend’s Lane and Jon’s house while I am teaching at figure 8. Jon is always kind enough to let me stay as he is usually the one who is here when I am. Last night we went out to dinner at a real restaurant, where he wore a collared shirt. If you know him, you know.

Today Lane made a special trip to come down to the coast early so we could actually see each other. I love Jon, but I really miss Lane when she is not here. We have been friends for 30 years.

We went out to a great Asian restaurant on the early side so that gave Lane and I a bunch of time to come back to the house and play Rummy cube. Lane is most excellent at it.

She jokingly told me that she went in a shop in Raleigh this week and the sweet woman who owns it, and had taken mah Jongg from me, said “you are famous because you are friends with Dana.” Lane laughingly told me her reply was, “Yes, but I have been friends with her before she became the mah Jongg guru.”

I so cherish my dear friend Lane and all our years together. There is nothing better than friends who you can just hang with. And play games.

Who is Keeping an Eye on Ghislaine?

Oh my, 47 is not happy about all this Epstein talk. When he comes out and says, “Stop talking about Epstein.” You know that is all anyone wants to talk about, unless you are some lapdog.

So maybe the DOJ Barbie might destroy evidence, wouldn’t put it past her. She seems to lick the right things for her boss (sorry if that was too graphic.)

So here is my one thought on this whole thing. There is one person alive who seems to know a lot of the particulars on this whole story and that Ghislaine. Since she is stuck in jail with apparently nothing left to lose she could blow this whole thing up and tell everything she knows. I am certain those who don’t want anyone to know, know this.

So my question is who is making sure Ghislaine is not off’d in jail? Chances are high that Epstein did not kill himself. If anything happens to her, mark my words, it is a sure sign that everyone we think is guilty is and they did her in. Just sayin’. ..

A Rare Weekend Mah Jongg Class in Durham

A friend from church got mah Jongg as her birthday present. That means she has to learn how to play. When she contacted me about getting in a class it became apparent that none of the scheduled classes would fit in her calendar. So I offered a rare weekend and she took me up on it. Since she does not have a full class of friends to join her I am opening up this class to others.

If you want to learn beginner Mah Jongg I have some space in this class which will be held Friday, July 25 6:30-9:30PM, Sunday, July 27 2-5 PM, and Monday, July 28 6:30-9:30. If you are interested contact me or to learn more visit my website www.learnmahjongg.com

Sometimes short notice is the best notice because you know now if you are free those days or not.

I Stand with Rosie

When I woke up this morning to the news that 47 wants to revoke Rosie O’Donnell’s citizenship, I knew that meant he was trying to keep our eye off something else stupid. That and he likes to float crazy ideas out there to see how much he can get away with.

Well, this is just too far. Rosie O’Donnell was born in America to American citizens. Nothing 47 can do about that. I met Rosie O’Donnell when she was RoseAnn O’Donnell. I was a sophomore at Dickinson college and she was a freshman. One of my sorority sisters, Lori Edwards came to a sister’s meeting and said, “I am directing one of the freshman plays this year and you need to come see this Rose Ann O’Donnell. She is amazing.” So I did. And she was. Sadly, Carlisle, Pa. was too far from any comedy club so she transferred to BU and the rest is history.

So my brush with Rosie is an aside, I have followed her career because of it. The one thing I know is Rosie is a match for 47. She has scrambled with him for years. She at least has honesty on her side and as far as I can tell, she is showing no signs of dementia.

The whole premise that 47 thinks he can take away citizenship is ridiculous, but it makes us look at that and not what the hell is going on with the Epstein client list, or the fact that FEMA did not answer 2/3’s of the call from the Texas disaster because ICE Barbie did not bother to renew the contract for the call center.

Tarriffs are killing our businesses, ICE is taking children off the streets and handcuffing them and marching them in lines, tethered to a chain, into detention, and allegedly Department of Justice has lied to so many federal judges and those judges have the evidence.

The lawsuits for all the illegality that ICE is doing will eventually start pouring in and it will take years, but we the taxpayers will have to pay the damages for all this. 47 will be dead by the time that happens, but it started with him.

We can not sit idly by and let our government set up concentration camps in Florida. That is what they are. Speak out. Demand our legislators to follow the law or vote them out. If 47 can try and take citizenship away from Rosie O’Donnell he can do it to you. And if you let him do it once, it will be too late to do anything about it for the future.

America belongs to the people, not the President.

My Boring Life Continues

I set aside time around the forth of July to get some much needed projects done around the house. That time is coming to an end and I feel like I was only about 30% productive. I did finish my third needlepoint seat and took it to the upholster to finish. I have not yet drawn my final chair seat, opting to work on some small ornaments for a change.

After coming home from the farmer’s market I decided to try and make more progress cleaning out my closet. I started with shoes a couple weeks ago. I did some of the hanging clothes last week, but not all. I also worked on folded pants last week. Today I cleaned out the wire drawers.

I came across some bathing suits, which have to be twenty years old, whose elastic has given way. I found a T-shirts from the inaugural Turkey trot Hannah started at DA in 2014. I unearthed a night gown I must have worn when Carter was a baby. Why these things were still in my closet goes to fact that once something goes in a drawer it rarely goes out.

I did add some labels so I will know what is in these drawers despite the fact that I can actually see everything through the wires. I have another large bag to donate and another to recycle.

It feels great to get this job behind me. I am a creature of habit. I think I found a dozen pairs of jeans all more or less the same profile, but in three sizes. (This after I already purged four sizes.) Hopefully two of those sizes I won’t need, but that will take a few more months.

It was a boring job, but glad that part is behind me. I still need to finish the hanging clothes. Maybe tomorrow. It’s boring, but great to get it off my never ending list.

Are They Really a Mah Jongg Teacher?

I recently had a student who took a class at a local spot. According to the student, the “teacher” had only recently learned to play mah Jongg herself and decided to open a mah Jongg business. I just love how much mah Jongg has taken off. I love that people love it so much they want to share it with others. What I don’t love is that people who don’t really know everything about the game are charging others to “teach” them.

The new-to-me student told me how frustrating it was in her other class because the “teacher” didn’t teach her, or the other members of the class. Instead they just dealt the tiles out and started playing. When asked about rules, the explanations were haphazard and the teacher told then,”she doesn’t want people to be too bothered by rules, but just have fun.”

If you come to a class you should be taught in an organized way all the rules as well as the strategy. Someone who is more interested in selling you things or has only been playing mah Jongg less than a few years may not really be a teacher.

It frustrates me that these disorganized teachers ruin the Mah Jongg well, because so many people go to the “class” and give up because the game is too complicated to not be taught in a precise way.

If you “learned” mah Jongg by sitting next to someone who was playing or from a class that felt disorganized I am happy to take you on a more deliberate journey to really love and understand this game.

I have a beyond beginner class at Home for Entertaining in Cary in July that can help you learn how to “think” like a mah Jongg pro and fill in your missing knowledge you might not even know is missing.

Before you sign up for a mah Jongg class find out how long and how many other students your teacher has taught. I have been doing it 27 years to over 25,000 students. I can tell you the way I teach mah Jongg has greatly evolved over the years. Understanding all the different ways people learn is key to being able to make sure every student goes away knowing how to play.

You just can’t go around a table and tell people what tile to play. You have to explain the why so people can learn. I know mah Jongg is at a craze point right now. Many retailers find holding mah Jongg events at their stores is a great way to get customers in. An event is not always a class and the person running it may not be anything close to a teacher. Go in knowing the difference.

If you want to take classes with me visit my website www.learnmahjongg.com. to find where I will be teaching. If I am not teaching near you, contact me about setting up a class. Beginner classes are for people who want to learn the rules and how to play the game. If you think you know how to play the Beyond Beginner class is the most fun way to get to be a better player. Mah Jongg is a great lifetime game. Learn responsibly. You will love it so much more if you are taught correctly from the start.

Creating Day

I got tired of organizing my office. I have barley made a dent thanks to getting tied up reading old files of awards Carter received and letters from friends no longer walking amongst us. So I turned to what I love to do, art and crafts. I am a natural maker. I like to be creating or making something all the time.

One of my cute students at the beach showed me a tote she monogrammed. It was such a fun bag that I decided I needed to make one for myself. I had purchased the plain bag a couple of weeks ago. I pulled it out of the closet and picked a thread color from my huge stash off needlepoint fibers.

I got to work cross stitching my monogram on the bag. It didn’t take long because I first drew out the design on graph paper to make sure I got all the proportions correct.

It was a fast stitch job and now I have a personalized tote to take to the beach next week. I needed to create something today. Tomorrow I go back to teaching. Definitely something I need to do. Organizing will have to wait.

Dinner Before the Rain

We planned a nice dinner with Lynn and Logan on the roof of the Lenny, a new restaurant downtown. It over looks the ball park where there was some kind of player showcase going on. The weather was nice when we sat down. We ordered too much food. We liked the fried artichoke and the flat bread the most. The portions are very large and the prices aren’t bad.

As we were enjoying our dinner looking west we could see a huge storm off in the distance. It was fairly slow moving. We were able to enjoy almost our dinner when suddenly the temperature dropped a good ten degrees in about ten seconds. The wind at our eleventh floor elevation picked up fast, scattering some of our food across the terrace.

Our first thought was for our skittish dogs at our respective homes. Shay would be nervous, but Annie Toms has been known to tear up expensive furniture, so we rushed out.

Just as I was driving us out of the parking garage the rain started. Drop drop then immediate sheets. Since everything is already saturated from last weeks deluge the water was just rushing to the low places. We are lucky we got home when we did before all routes home became impassible. Going to rain for the next three days.

Old Dog, New Tricks

I was today years old when I learned how to make chicken salad in a blink of an eye. I have been making chicken salad for over half a century. That’s a really long time. And I always make it by chopping up chicken. It’s not hard, but it can be slow.

I have loved shredded chicken salad like we get at the Midtown Market in Danville. I just never tried to make shredded chicken salad because it was a huge extra step to shed the chicken.

Then I heard about shredding chicken using my kitchen aid mixer. WHAT?!?! I actually read about it on the Kitchen Aid website. You cook the chicken and put the hot chicken in the bowl with the paddle attachment. Turn the machine on low and sure enough in less than 30 seconds I had shredded 2 large whole breasts.

It would have taken me ten minutes to chop by hand and an additional ten minutes to shred. 30 seconds! How did I get to 64 without knowing this trick? You can teach this old dog a new trick.

Always Teaching

Always Teaching

Monday is a great day to get a pedicure. No one much thinks they need pretty nails for Tuesday. Since the salon was very quiet I thought I would have a very relaxing time needlepointing while my feet where pampered.

Since it was slow and quiet the man who was doing my feet must have been bored. He took a great interest in what I was working on. He want me to teach him how to needlepoint, while I wanted him to make my heels soft. The two did not exactly go together, but I showed him how to stitch while he sanded.

His favorite trick was learning how to thread the needle without trying to stuff the fiber in the eye. After a little lesson he asked me if they sold needlepoint at Walmart. I told him I saw not exactly sure, but that I got mine from Chapel Hill Needlepoint.

I know more and more men are needlepointing, but I am not sure this guy is going to show up at Nancy’s and pick out a project. He definitely has the dexterity to handle the needle. He did a great job on my toes, but my heels are still dry. Really not his fault.

Chore Helper?

There is one chore I hate doing. It’s filling my pill containers with my vitamins, supplements and prescriptions. I take such a large number of all these things on such a specific schedule I have to have a four times a day pill case. Filling these cases is a royal pain in the ass.

First, I have to have all of the elements. Then I have to put them in. It takes about an hour to do six weeks worth. It never fails that Shay wants to be involved. Not actually doing anything, just supervising, even if supervising means sleeping beside the cases while I work.

It never fails that I don’t have six weeks worth of every element while I am filling. So I fill as much as I can and then pray I remember to add the needed ingredients when they arrive. Getting old is so much work, but I must say these supplements are good for me. Just sorting them out is not. Having them all sorted does make taking them so much easier. I would never remember if I had taken them if I didn’t have it all portioned out.

My Favorite Find

In the continuation of the deep clean out of my paper office I came across a file folder I had not looked at in over 25 years. I knew it was in the drawer, but had not bothered to look at it. It was a folder filled with tiny scraps of paper with notes jotted on them. Some were written on the back of receipts, or torn from a pad of paper, most barley legible as I certainly wrote them in a hurry.

The identifying tag on the folder said, “Carter quotes.” Sometime when Carter was about three I made a book of photos with some of these quotes in it. As it is a favorite book for us to look at I thought that this folder was just the original source material for that book. What I discovered as I went through the folder is these were quotes that I kept saving long after she turned three. So most of these I have not read since I first wrote them down and threw them in the folder.

Here are some of my favorites:

“Sometimes my mind stops working and it wants to get away from my head.” March 23, 2003.

“Mommy, it’s like there is a glue between you and me and Daddy and it all comes back to you.”

April 8, 2005

Daddy took Carter to Duke Gardens. While there Carter asked for three Pennies to make wishes with in the fountain.

“I wish I could go back to Disney World.”

“I wish I could go back to San Francisco.”

“I wish I would be so good so I would make my angel proud of me.”

March 8, 2003

“Carter, what are we going to do about your room?”

“Mommy, I think we should just move.”

July 14, 2003

“Carter, please stop crying.”

“It’s too late. I already started.”

October 6, 2003

While looking at a scrap book I made her Carter said, “I wish I could start my life over again. It has been so great.”

October 18, 2003

“Mama, I love you more than the beautiful sun.”

November 30, 2003

“They just lost their minds Carter.”

“Mommy, who got their minds then?”

December 12, 2003

(I really wish I knew what my reply to that was.)

I said, “I have to go to your class on Thursday Carter. What should I say?”

“You should say almost everything you know.”

September 13, 2004

(Thank goodness she just wanted almost everything.)

Not a Day for Celebrations

Forgive me if I have a hard time celebrating today. I spent the last two and a half decades supporting the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina. I can hardly celebrate the signing of the terrible awful bill that cuts support to feed hungry children.

We have all been witness to the failure of the the farce of trickle down economics. Making the uber rich even richer does not help the multitudes get jobs. One rich person can only buy or employee so many people. That one rich person getting richer does not mean they will quadruple their spending. So excuse me if I am skeptical that this bill will grow the economy in a way to cover the $2.4 trillion dollars the non-partisan Congressional Budget O ffice says will be added to the deficit In the next nine years.

We are saddling our children with a crushing debt, while we are cutting food to hungry children. Hungry children can not thrive. They fail in school, they have trouble becoming productive adults all for the want of the most basic human need. Food.

Children born into poverty were just unlucky. Why should we compound that by not helping them. When nuts say things like, “people need to pull themselves up by their boot straps,” they are assuming people have boots. Children without food have no bootstraps, let alone boots or apples or milk. The cruelty of this awful bill will have repercussions for a generation or more.

But you say, my children are fed. I work hard and take care of my own. But your children are going to grow up and need people to work with them, and be their doctors and nurses and teachers and run the grocery store and grow their food. Who will do all this?

I am so disappointed in those so called Christians who supported this bill. You should be ashamed because if you were true followers of Christ you would know that Jesus said to feed the hungry and care for the widows and orphans.

So on this anniversary of our country I weep. What have we become?

Office Time Capsule

Russ and I moved to our house July 3, 1994. We waited five days for our moving truck to show up. It was four days late and made me very nervous since everything we owned was in that truck. While we waited we went to Home Depot and found a dhuri rug that looked like a quilt pattern. We put it in my office. I needed a desk since I worked from home when I wasn’t on the road at clients.

The desk we ended up getting was a giant semi-circle with two long straight extensions on each side and three rolling file cabinets that sat underneath. It was a behemoth. I sprang for a red Herman miller chair and turned my office into a command center of commerce.

Those file cabinet drawers quickly filled up with all the tools I needed for work and eventually any important family items, like spare keys, insurance policies and every one of Carter’s report cards.

At one point I wanted a walking desk and the room would not accommodate the command center and a treadmill desk. By then I was only an editor at Durham Magazine, not an important business person. So Russ and I dismantled the behemoth. I moved one of the side extensions to the wall along with all three rolling file cabinets. The semi-circle went to rabbit room, previously the nursery, now Russ’ home office and the other side extension went downtown to Russ’ corporate office.

The file cabinets, with their three drawers each, remained largely untouched, save the occasional opening to find a large binder clip or a Benjamin Moore paint chip displaying the color we painted the guest room 24 years ago.

Today I decided was the day to start tackling what was inside those rolling drawers. There are six small drawers and three hanging file drawers. I knew I could not do it all at once so I started with three of the small drawers that were filled up with office supplies and miscellaneous items.

I found seven different business cards, three from Durham Magzine because we moved offices often, two from the Food Bank, one from my needlepoint group, and one was personal. There must have been a dozen or more bottles or small containers of pain killers, all at least twenty years old or older. (I think my work life was more stressful back then.)

There were the normal office things, like paper clips and rubber bands that had practically turned to dust and lost their snap. I had six manual pencil sharpeners despite the fact that I have an electric pencil sharpener on top of my desk. There were more used lipsticks, nail files and dental floss that needed to be in my bath room not my desk. And all off this was in one drawer.

The drawer below it was a time capsule of electronics of the 90’s. There were four different tiny film cameras, along with a dozen unused film cartridges. Some weird video camera, my sharp Zarus, which was like a tiny computer, calendar, address book and all things important when I worked in the UK. If I change the batteries I might be able to look at it.

I found at least 75 old credit and membership cards, four from airlines that have long been out of business. Oh, how I miss Midway airlines. There was a checkbook from an account Carter’s name and mine as the trustee from Nations Bank. I don’t even remember Nationa bank, let alone why Carter needed a checking account as a baby. (Sorry Carter I don’t know what money was in that account.)

I did a good job throwing away most everything that was unimportant. I did come across a handful Reporter notebooks from my time working at Durham’s Magazine. I tried not to spend time reading those notebooks, but I did find Jay Bilas’ business card from an event I covered with Coach K. It all went in the trash.

Three drawers was all I could handle today. Tomorrow I will try again on some others. I am dreading the files as I am certain to get bogged down reading things I have not seen in two decades. Throwing away old altoids and white out is easy. Finding letters written to me from people no longer living is going to be harder.

Sorting Paper or Pants

After having my monthly lunch with my friend Hannah, my plan was to work on cleaning up my paper office. I have files in my drawers that have not been cleaned out in 25 years. I am a little curious about what I will find, but not curious enough to stick at if very long.

I started with the top of my desk, covered in financial paperwork to be sorted and possibly discarded. I got through that and a giant much needed storm broke out. No, it was not a tornado of paperwork, but actual rain and thunder.

Shay, standing at the top off the stairs started crying so I abandoned my office and went with her to her safe place, my bed. Well, I thought, there is plenty to be cleaned out in here.

I like to work in categories. So I decided to clean out and organize my folded pants in my closet. I have lost some weight and I have been having trouble finding the pants that are my current size. I have a store’s worth of sizes of almost the exact same pants.

I quickly discovered that most of my pants are too big so it’s time for them to go. I did discover three pairs in three different colors that fit perfectly and I am certain I will wear those three until they get too big. The only sad thing is I did not find any white pants that fit. Stone color will just have to do this summer.

Now I have created a new job, that of rehoming the too big pants. It is way more fun to try on pants that are too big, than sorting through finical paper work. The bottom line is cleaning out is cleaning out. .

One Damn Mosquito

I didn’t sleep well last night. No, I just couldn’t go to sleep last night. I think I finally fell asleep around 3:30. One thing that kept bothering me was a singular mosquito. I could hear it flying around. When I got tired of tossing and turning I would pick up my phone to see what time it was and in the glow of the screen not once, or twice, but three different times the mosquito would come and light on my hand.

Every time it did I would try and kill it, never sure it I got it, until the confirmation the next time I looked at my phone and had the bug come back and visit. It never bit me. Just buzzed around me.

Fast forward to tonight. I come in my room and sit down on my bed and there is my trusty little buzzing buddy back for a visit. I am not certain how this mosquito got in my room. No windows are open, it’s much too hot for that. The closest door to the outside is down a long hall, down five steps and a dog leg turn to the front door.

Maybe this little guy came in riding on Shay. I will never know, but I still have not been able to catch or kill him. I really need sleep tonight. I am praying the bug flys out the way he came in.

Don’t Give Up

The poem, “The Paradoxical Commandments” by Kent Keith was printed in our church bulletin this week. You may know it.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway…

You can read it in the photo. You most certainly get the idea. I have heard this poem many times, but what I didn’t know is that it was written on the wall of Mother Teresa’s home for the most unwanted orphans in the poorest Calcutta.

It reminds me that no matter how bad something appears,you do not have to change your good ways to meet the bad times. Good and bad ebbs and flows.

When times are good most people think they will always be good and when times are bad most people think they will stay bad or get worse.

Times change and good times change faster than you think, and bad times change slower than you want. But change is always happening all around you. But you do not have to change your good ways no matter how bad times are. But you should change your bad ways.

I used to think that most people are good, but there are some very high profile bad people who have given regular people permission to be bad. I hope that karma catches up with the bad people. I still think there are more good than bad people. Being bad comes with its own baggage. Just like being good comes with its own lightness.

Please don’t let the darkness of our times change your goodness. The darkness will eventually change, but if you became dark with it it might be harder for you to change back.

Hurtful Childhood Games Reflect Real Life

I was talking to someone who had an experience where she was left out of a group and it did not feel great. I don’t think it was on purpose, but her feeling were hurt none the less.

It reminded me of something we used to do in preschool, which I hope they no longer do. In my pre school we would play “The farmer in the Dell,” And sing the song that went along with it. You probably know the song,

“The farmer in the Dell, the farmer in the Dell. Hi ho the Dario the farmer in the Dell.”

It started with a boy who was the farmer in the the middle of a circle, and the children in the circle around him would sing, “The farmer takes a wife, the farmer take a wife, Hi Ho the Dario the farmer takes a wife.”

The boy would pick a girl out from the surrounding children and she would then stand in the middle of the circle and the boy farmer would join the outer circle.

The “wife” would stand in the middle and the the children would sing, “the wife takes a child. The wife takes a child, Hi Ho the Dario the wife takes a child.” And the wife would pick another child from the circle who would now stand in the middle and the wife would rejoin the outer circle.

It went on this way with the children picking a cow, the cow picking a dog, the dog picking a cat, the cat picking a mouse and the mouse picking a cheese.

After the mouse picked the cheese, the cheese would stand in the center of the circle and the last line of the song was, “the cheese stands alone, the cheese stands alone, hi Ho the Dario the cheese stands alone.” There was something sad and shameful about being the cheese. You did not get to pick anyone else and you were left alone in the center. That was the end of the game. Not much of a game if you ask me. More of a popularity contest.

I told the person who was “left out” to remember what it felt like to be that one. No one wants to be the cheese standing alone. It may not be on purpose you were left out, or picked to be the cheese, but that does not matter in the end. So the best thing to do is to make sure you don’t do this to anyone else. Never let a cheese stand alone. Always be an ally to a cheese and stand with them.

The only way to change these long time situations of ranking people from Farmer to cheese is to not play these kind of ranking games. There is nothing redeeming about the farmer in the Dell, no one learns any thing, except a silly song. And for the record, I would always prefer to be the cheese than a mouse.

Dave and Cindy Come to NC

Months ago my college friend Dave asked us to go to a concert at Red Hat amphitheater when he and his wife Cindy were going to be in town to visit their daughter Deitra. Since Dave and Cindy live outside Pittsburgh we try and see them when they come to North Carolina.

We met for dinner at Poole’s diner which was as close as you could get to the the concert. They brought Cindy’s cute nephew Ed, who lives in Raleigh. (I want to introduce him to my young single mah Jongg students.)

We had a great dinner as you always do at Poole’s. The service and food can’t be beat and I was happy to introduce it to them.

We walked across the street to Red Hat and found our way to the lawn to find a place to spread out our blankets. The concert was 38 special and Kansas. Yes, those were bands when I was in high school, but not ones I really followed. Dave commented that he was glad everyone was not in wheel chairs, but a woman with a walker was sitting right in front of us. I am certain that in 1978 these bands did not think, “We are going to be doing this well into our 70’s and 80’s.”

Dave and Cindy are bigger concert goers than Russ and I are. It was sunny and warm and we talked through most of 38 special. That was about all the time Russ and I had since we had to get home to Shay.

Thanks Cindy and Dave for inviting us. We look forward to seeing you in December, if not before.

Wedgewood for Cheese

Russ is the most curious person I know. He follows the greatest diversity of people and places on instagram. He reads more publications than any human I know. He is a human AI.

Last week he invited me on a lunch date for today since today was the first day we both were free at lunch time. He took me to a new cheese place in Carboro called Wedgewood he had stumbled upon on Instagram. They sell cheese and have a little restaurant in the shop. It has been open a month. We weren’t exactly sure where it was based on the name of the street, but I said it sounds like it is near the car wash. Turns out it is on the side of the car wash building.

We entered the beautiful little shop and found that there were more people working there than there were eating or shopping there. This meant they had no trouble seating us at the counter. We ordered the cheesemonger’s choice of a cheese plate of three cheeses and a lox toast.

The cheese plate came first. It had a soft cheese called afterglow, a Brie and a third harder cheese. Some fig jam, a blackberry, half a strawberry and three Cornichon came on the flat tiny platter along with a bowl of more than enough yummy thin crackers.

The afterglow and Brie were fantastic. The third cheese was too waxy and lacked flavor. I let our server know that the third cheese was awful and they happily replaced it with a fabulous Gruyere. After we enjoyed those tiny cheeses our lox toast arrived. We each enjoyed the slice of toasted Baguette with a creamy spread, red onion, capers, dill and smoked salmon. It was a good salty four bites.

For dessert we ordered the whipped chèvre and fig jam toast. It was probably the best thing we ate. The toasted pecans and flower garnish made it as beautiful as it was delectable.

I saw they sold country ham and order four slices from the store side and brought that home to garnish the tomato pie I baked using two of the tomatoes from my friend Lee’s farm.

It was a very cheesy day. But a delightful date with my curious husband. We will be back to visit Wedgewood because Russ wants to try the French ham sandwich with French butter and cornichon on a baguette. I can’t deny the man a ham sandwich.

Don’t Stop Socializing

I was listening to NPR on my drive home from the beach today. One story that stood out was about how Americans spend their time now compared to just ten years ago. The big thing that is down is how much time people spend socializing. It’s down close to 30%. That is tragic, because ten years ago people didn’t spend an inordinate amount of time socializing.

I am so happy that what I spend my time doing is contributing to people spending more time together socializing. Mah Jongg is a great way to get to know more people and spend time with real humans. The thing about playing Mah Jongg is that it is non-partisan. You can play with all kinds of people and not fight. You have to pay close enough attention to the game so you don’t have time to think about any bad things going on in the world. So it is a true escape.

For me personally I have enjoyed making so many wonderful friends through teaching. Today, while in the middle of class, my friend Lee came into the room to drop off a bag of her her home grown tomatoes. She was not taking class, but knew I was at the beach and brought me that fabulous gift just because she is a dear.

I also had the pleasure of having lunch with my old friend Diane and her daughter Genie today. I had a one hour break between classes and went in the bar to have lunch and Diane invited me to sit with them. I first learned to play Mah Jongg with Diane 32 years ago. It was great to see her.

Making new friends at every age is so important. It keeps you young and makes you happy. It is also wonderful to spend time with old friends. The more friends the more socializing. That is good for your well being.

Oddity? Perhaps

I know my hearing is getting worse. I am sixty four and it might be time to start to get it checked.

Tonight I was sitting with my friend Kristi at her house after we enjoyed a nice dinner at Island Grille. I have had a wonderful time staying with her and we laugh constantly.

As we were talking I thought Kristi said to me, “You are an Odyssey.”

Not know what in the world that meant I asked her, “What is an Odyssey?”

She quickly corrected me. “An Oddity.”

Well, she isn’t wrong, but I kind of liked being an Odyssey more than an Oddity.

Time to get my hearing checked. I will still be an oddity, even if I can improve my hearing.

Nutrition Education Camp

I’m back at the beach for another week of Mah Jongg with sand. This week I am staying with my friend Kristi. Kristi is my own personal nutritionist. It never fails that whatever eating issue I am dealing with at the moment Kristi is going to be an expert in and help me.

Last year, or the year before last, (I can’t remember exactly when because I blocked it out of my memory), my doctor had me go gluten free to see if I had an issue with gluten. I was like a pilgrim religiously following a gluten free regime. Kristi has been gluten free for a long while and so when I stayed with her then she gave me a huge tour of all the best gluten free products. She saved me a fortune in not buying the awful tasting products.

My doctor finally declared after 11 months of no gluten that I was free to eat gluten again. Being gluten free did nothing for me, except make me mad that I couldn’t eat regular pizza. I was 50 minutes into my hour appointment when the doctor said that I could eat gluten again. I told her she really buried the lead.

The first thing I did was gather all the gluten free products I had and brought them to Kristi so I knew they wouldn’t go to waste.

So now I am trying to eat more protein and I mentioned to Kristi that I am having trouble getting enough protein. She jumps right into action and shows me three products she things will help me. One is a protein drink, another a yogurt and the third is a bar that she swears tastes just like thin mints.

So now I am going to drink a protein drink before I go off to work in the morning and she put a protein bar in my purse.

Coming to stay with Kristi is the best Nutrition camp I could ever find. I hope someday my doctor says, “I’d like you to eat more ice cream.” Then Kristi and I can go on a tour of ice cream parlors.

Bad Surprise

Russ brought the mail in tonight. He gave me most of it and he took a hand written envelope. He stood over me as he opened it and tons of tiny glitter circles fell out of the card that he pulled from the envelope.

“Stop,” I cried. “Don’t open it any further and out it back in the envelope without tilting it.”

It was mainly too late. Glitter covered the rug.

It was a thank you note from a college graduate we had sent a gift too. At this point in her life she should know you don’t mail anyone glitter. It is tantamount to mailing anthrax.

Please consider this a public service announcement and instruct everyone in your household not to mail glitter. I know that graduation is a time for celebration, but we celebrated you by sending a gift. Don’t assault us for doing it.

This glitter pretty much guarantees I will not be sending another gift too this person ever again. I can’t take the chance that glitter herpes will be sent to my house again.

Mah Jongg in Days of Yore

I have been playing American Mah Jongg over 30 years. I have my cards from all those years, although they are scattered around the house. I don’t think I could find them all easily. Apparently they might be worth something on the secondary market.

One of my darling students, Suzanne of Tallahassee likes finding friend’s birth year mah Jongg cards. She found the 1960-61 card along with 62, 63, and 64. And she sent them to me as a gift.

I was struck by how small they were. The ‘60-‘61 card cost .30¢. The first thing I noticed is that it used way too many flowers and hardly any winds. Then I read that the game used 14 flowers and 2 Big Jokers. They used stickers to change two of the flowers into jokers. There were also no hands of the year. I can imagine the frustration that came from playing that year.

So much of Mah Jongg hands have remained the same. The biggest change is we play with 8 flowers and 8 jokers. Now people of all ages are playing the game, probably not the same as 1960-61.

Thanks Suzanne for the wonderful gift. I can’t wait to study all these cards and see how many hands I recognize. This might encourage me to search for all my old cards and visit favorite old hands.

Teaching an Old Dog

I live by my iPad. I write my blog on it everyday. I play and teach mah Jongg using it. I read and write my mail and messages. Edit photos. Play my NYT games and report my scores to my gang. So when my only 3 year old iPad started running out of memory it became a nightmare.

I was constantly deleting photos and videos, messages and movies. I offloaded every app I could. The last few months have been a clean up extravaganza. Yet I still could not get ahead of my storage problem. I could not download software updates and my iPad was mad at me all the time.

How could my beloved hate me so much. I just wanted to write and post my blog with one simple phot and it would not do it. That was it. Time for an upgrade.

There are no words Russ loves to hear more than, “It’s time to go to the Apple Store.” So off we went today. I got a new bigger, literally, iPad. It is the biggest screen and a whole terabyte of memory. I don’t even know what a terabyte is, except if it were a food it would be as fattening as a whole chocolate cake.

Now comes the pain in the neck of learning all the things this iPad can do that my old one couldn’t. I never actually learn all the features. I am lucky if I can type. I do not like the case and keyboard. I am able to type just fine on the screen. Russ was worried that the bigger screen would mean I would have Trouble typing. So far the only real issue is the period is one key over and I keep typing the backslash. I’ll get used to it.

I’m an old dog, but I like tricks so I will try and learn them. For now let’s see how I do with posting my blog. Then it’s off to play mah Jongg. Some things are the most Important..

Resort Mah Jongg Classes at the Tides Inn

I am pleased to announce I will be teaching both Beginner Mah Jongg and Beyond Beginner at the Historic Tides Inn in Irvington, Virginia in October. There is no more fun way to learn or improve your game than doing it in a most beautiful setting with fabulous food and other fun activities.

The Tides Inn, under new ownership, has under gone a major renovation to both the outside and inside of the property. Located on the Northern Neck of Virginia on the Chesapeake Bay, it is the jewel of Virginia.

My classes will be the Weekend of October 24-26, but come the day before to settle in and enjoy the inn, and leave on the 27 so that you can make it a true long weekend of fun and play.

The Tides is offering an inclusive package which includes your room, meals and class or a package of your room and class. Both packages include two wine receptions with me. The wine is the draw, not me.

Tides is only 3 hours from Washington DC and an hour from Richmond. Make it a fun girls trip or just come on your own. There will be plenty of opportunities to make new friends in Mah Jongg Class.

Here is the link to the Tides Inn to learn more about Mah Jongg weekend with me.

https://tidesinn.com/irvington-va-hotel-experiences/seasonal-events/mah-jongg-weekend/

As always to find out about all my classes or to contact me about creating a class visit my website www.learnmahjongg.com

Winning a Hard One

There is nothing I love more than brilliant dedicated students. When I teach people more than one class I get a chance to know them, know how they think, what their likes and dislikes are and where they might be able to learn to think differently.

In Beyond Beginner the students learn not just from me, but also from each other as they discuss options and choices. This week’s class included a group of friends who play regularly together so they know each other’s favorite hands and neighborhoods.

Michelle likes to play closed hands which are notoriously more difficult than non-closed hands. It frustrates her friends that she not only plays them, but wins with them too. As this group is experienced I did not mind attempting more difficult closed hands with them.

Michelle pointed out a closed hand potential right from the deal and as the Charleston went on that hand became stronger and stronger, ending the Charleston with 11 of fourteen tiles. We only needed one flower and two different threes which could also have been jokers. We quickly drew a flower. Then one joker followed by another, winning the hand as a self picked Mah Jongg with 72 tiles still left in the wall.

I gave Michelle .60¢ for the win! It was exciting for the less experienced players to see how much fun trying for a harder hand and winning can be.

So Nice We Did It Twice

I basically teach mah Jongg just so I can have meals with friends and stay at friends vacation homes. Yes, I taught two classes today and those ladies were delightful, but the highlight of my day was my friends who come to see me when I was between classes.

I was scheduled to have lunch with Mary Jo, she invited Jill, which was great because I was not sure she was going to be down at the beach this week. Then Mary Jo invited Trina and Kay. With only a one hour lunch break it was not enough time to talk with everyone. So I did not get a chance to catch up with Mary Jo at all. Now I will have to call her when I am driving home tomorrow to talk about what we didn’t get to talk about at lunch.

After my Beyond class I did a tiny amount of fast shopping on my way to meet my friends at dinner. Ann had told me to go to Cecil and Finch and I tried on a cute dress that I loved, then I looked at the tag. It had been marked down to $29.95. I asked the sales girl if that could possibly be the price and she said, “absolutely.” What a great find.

I walked around the corner to Aqua and met up with Ann, Neppie and Reba for a redux dinner. We sat on the porch and had a delightful time. The best thing I ate was the amuse bouche which was a white bean, cabbage and carrot salad in some citrus cilantro dressing. We asked the server exactly what was in it, but were certain the answer we got was short a few key ingredients. I wish I had more than one bite because I would love to recreate it.

Ann and I came back to her place and talked too long tonight and I fear I am going to be short on sleep. I need to be sharp tomorrow for the Beyond class because we have not been winning enough games. Still fun and lots of good teachable moments, but I want them to win more too.

I’ll be back next week at Coral Bay. Come learn with me.

Work or Fun?

This is the start of my beach o’mah Jongg season. I have five different beach weeks teaching this summer. Usually I drive down to the beach at 5:30 in the morning to arrive in time to set up for a nine AM class. That is what I did this morning.

I had beginners in the morning. Then my friend Annette came and met me for lunch during my one hour break. It was great to catch up with her, but was much too short.

I had to get back to teaching at one for my beyond beginners. It is always a lively group in beyond as they are used to me and I had great players in that class.

By four I was worn out. I drove to my friend Ann Cherry’s who is generously hosting me this week. We had a good catch up time and then went to dinner with Reba and Neppie. So much fun was had at dinner and after three and a half hours at the table I finally hit the wall. It was a full day of nonstop fun even if half of it was work.

At least I can sleep until at least seven tomorrow. It will feel like I am on vacation.

Watermelon Gazpacho Heaven

Summer is made for cold soups. My favorite is Watermelon Gazpacho and it is the easiest. You only need a good blender.

1/2 a medium watermelon

1 1/2 cucumbers-peeled

1/2 red onion

1 large Jalapeño leave seeds if you like spice

15 cherry tomatoes

1/4 cup red wine vinegar

Juice of half a lime

20 basil leaves

15 mint leaves

Salt to taste

Put half of everything in the blender and blend. Put in a container and do it again with the other half.

Chill, stir and serve. Enjoy!

The Fathers Day Failure

Father’s Day is never properly celebrated in my house. I blame it on my mother who never had us do anything special for my father on Father’s Day. If he was lucky we didn’t make him take us to the riding club to and go swimming with us. Instead we would just tell him he could drop us off.

Consequently I did not make Carter do big things for her father on Father’s Day. Now my father is gone and Carter is not home so I am the only one around to celebrate for Russ, but he is not my father. So no card. No breakfast in bed. Instead he spent t the better part of the day on phone calls when I am sure he would rather have done other things.

On a normal Sunday I could cheer him up with a This Old House watch party, but the season is over so I don’t even have that for him. I did cook a little flounder for dinner and made artichokes, but nothing special.

I wish I could come up with a Father’s Day Jackpot that would make up for years of terrible Father’s Days. Maybe if I start now I can come up with a good idea for next year. But I realize we will be in the middle of wedding next year so it will be another overlooked Father’s Day.

For now I have to depend of Shay’s adoration of Russ to make him feel special. I just want him to know that I think he is a superior father as his only child turned out to be a great person, in spite of mistakes that might have been made by her mother.

Happy Father’s Day Russ. I’ll keep practicing and one day I’ll get it right.

NO KINGS DURHAM WAS BIG

Russ and I ran into our friend Amy at the farmer’s Market this morning. “Are you protesting?” She asked. And I replied, “I am always protesting.”

Then she invited me to our friend Michelle’s house to make signs before we went to the Durham NO KINGS protest. We didn’t have a lot of time, but we made signs and went downtown. As we walked to CCB Plaza Amy said, “I hope we have like 1,000 People.”

“I am certain we will have more than 1,000.”

There were between 5,000 and 10,000 people there. There were great signs. And all peaceful. We marched from the plaza down Rigsbee street and back up Foster. The march was about eight blocks each direction and it was packed.

I got over heated and am so thankful for our band of friends who got me water, and fanned me with our signs and rolled up my pants. I drew the line at taking off my shirt which Amy tried to Get me to do by taking hers off in solidarity. I figured I did not need people protesting me being shirtless. Thanks, Ann for being a great nurse, Jamie, Michelle and Amy for being great fanners and Leighton for Water delivery.

Mostly way to go Durham for turning out! WE ARE THE PEOPLE! Don’t forget how we got this country. We will not allow it to be stolen from us.

My Week Off

When I plan my calendar I do it almost a year in advance. I know that I take six weeks off in August and September and I usually take the whole month off for the Christmas holidays. If I don’t decide this up front I would schedule too much and then I would never have a break.

This year I was so busy from January 1 until last week I really didn’t take any time off. So I purposely gave myself this week off. I figured I needed it to do important work around the house. I have a big list of things to do that somehow never gets worked on. When better than a week I don’t have to go anywhere, even Raleigh.

So I did go to the dentist and get my mammogram and other medical stuff. You know the appointments you have to plan well in advance. But then did I even look at my list? Absolutely not.

Instead I have been binge watching Sex in the City and all related movies and shows and trying to finish my needlepoint chair seat. After I watched the first episode of season 3 of “And Just Like That” my TV just started in on season one of Sex in the City and I went with it. I realized that I had never actually watched the early years. Carter was a baby and I am sure I was so far from Carrie in NYC at that time.

I have relived the nineties, aughts, teens and twenties all in one week. I am still stitching away with just this bit left. I put a magazine in the photo to give you are reference size as to how big this canvas really is. Thankfully I have less than half a magazine left. So it’s back to binging and stitching and not getting anything else done. It was a nice week off, but I have felt very guilty just watching and stitching.

“Mother Nature Wants to Droop”

No truer statement was ever uttered to me during a mammogram. As a well endowed woman of a certain age there is not much I can do to reverse what has already happened.

Regardless it is important to get your yearly squishing no matter how much it hurts. The flattening of the the breast between the plexiglass plate and the machine is not the worst thing. The holding your breath through the pain so they can get a good imagine is the worst part. I swear my tech makes me start holding my breath more seconds before hand than are necessary.

Thankfully I did my part well enough that I didn’t have to have extra pictures taken. I will now wait for the results. Don’t put off getting your annual squishing. I had two friends this year with breast cancer who are both clean now thanks to early detection and good medical care. But if you don’t get your mammogram you won’t find it early enough if it is going to happen. Pray it doesn’t happen, but if it does, fix it fast.

A Little Brown Dog and Her Blue Baby

Shay has a preference for blue stuffed dogs as her lovey of choice. She has big blue dogs and little blue dogs, but they are all blue. If you take her in a pet store, she picks out the blue dogs. Not pink. Not red. Not Brown or Camo. Always Blue.

She has five or six blue dogs in her play room. She has one is Russ’ office and one on our bed. Most are missing a squeaker. Most are missing some if not all limbs. Some are missing the majority of their stuffing. But she loves them all equally.

Her bed blue dog makes the perfect pillow. She loving it snuggles with it when she isn’t snuggling with us. Why she likes blue? We will never know, but blue is her color of choice. Don’t tell me dogs can’t see colors because Shay certainly can.

A little brown dog with a little blue friend. She knows they look best together.

Ahead of the Trend

I have never been a follow-the-trends kind of gal. When everyone was getting a perm I said, “Not me.” When everyone was collecting Bennie Babies I said, “Not me.” When everyone was roller blading, I said, “Not me.” I have never been a follower, nor did I care what everyone else was doing.

Now apparently all the things I like to do and have been doing for decades are the hot things to do. I had more than a few students send me a screen shot from the Today show of what are the Hot trends of the summer.

Mah Jongg is the the top event category on Event Bright, up 345%. Next is Needlepoint, up 41%. That is really something because Needlepoint is not easily an event. The third trend was Baking Events up 38%.

Today I played Mah Jongg, while needlepointing, while cookies were baking in the oven. All my activities are trending, but none were events. I played mah Jongg online, while trying to finish the third chair seat for my mah Jongg table and the cookies were for a funeral at church tomorrow.

At 64 I am now hot. It just took waiting around for the rest of the world to catch up to the things I like. When they go out of favor I will still be doing them.

If you want to learn to play mah Jongg visit my website, www.learnmahjongg.com

You can be hot like me by the end of the summer. If you need help with needlepoint I can do that too!

The Whole City Send Off for Holley

I don’t think I have ever seen so many people at one funeral in my life, but it was no surprise. Duke Chapel was packed with everyone in town and many from out of town who came to celebrate the happy life of Holley Barnes Broughton. Those in the know wore bright colors as we were instructed. Thank goodness so many did because it would be hard to explain why I had a bright pink and green dress on at a funeral.

Jan picked me up and thanks to her husband’s Duke parking tag we were able to get into good parking easily. We sat in the fourth row surrounded by friends. Every where I looked I saw friends.

Holley had planned everything and it was so Holley. We sang and listened to a beautiful Homily and sang some more. At one point I was overcome and had to sit down to sing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot and Will the Circle Be Unbroken.

By the time the service was over I was dehydrated. I could not stand outside in the sun and hug people too long so Jan took me to get some water and then suggested we needed ice cream to toast Holley. So that’s what we did.

Paul and the children did a great job of honoring sweet Holley. I can only imagine how exhausted they must be. I pray that everyone who was a witness to her life takes the flame of kindness she lit out into the darkness. Holley was one of a kind, but we can all emulate the sunshine she exuded, even if just a little.

Farewell sweet friend. I felt you through the whole service. You will never be forgotten.

Baltimore, What Happened?

Our tiny family reunion happened in Baltimore. That is where Carter’s flight came into. So we booked a hotel and drove up and met her. My best college friend grew up outside Baltimore. She got married there. I spent plenty of time there back in my younger years. When I lived in Washington DC I used to go to Baltimore regularly to visit my customers there. It was in the 80’s when the Inner harbor had been built and Baltimore was doing well.

Then came Camden Yards, the downtown ball park of the Baltimore Orioles. Baltimore was doing well. Yes, it was not perfect. There was crime, but downtown had workers, residents and visitors.

When Carter was in elementary school we went to Baltimore to visit the National Aquarium and spend the night. Baltimore was good. In Middle school we stopped in Baltimore on our way home from Maine and visited the Under Armor store and eat some good Seafood. Baltimore seemed good.

We drove in yesterday. We stoped at a market for some lunch. The homeless people out numbered the patrons by 3:1. Stores were boarded up. The streets were dirty.

We went to our hotel. One we had stayed at before. The hotel itself was fine, but the buildings around it were empty. Beautiful buildings. Ones from the 20’s, 30’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and so on. Empty, with graffiti on windows or the plywood covering windows. There was not much traffic as there was not much to do.

We did not let the city keep us from a great visit. He holed up in the hotel having a great time. We dressed for dinner and decided to walk the half an hour. It was daylight out. We felt relatively safe as we’re were a group of big people strong people.

As we walked the most direct route we eventually came upon the first store front businesses we had seen open. Four sex shops. The run down kind of places that looked like they had been there since 1965 with no improvements. Only the drug addled bouncers who stood in the door ways looked newer than 1965.

We rounded the corner and continued our walk eventually coming to the waterfront district where there were some going concerns. The Four Seasons Hotel and successful restaurants. Not as much poverty or homelessness that was apparent not far off.

The prosperous area was small and felt like it was tenuous as so many beautiful buildings lay fallow close by. A city on the way down takes decades and strong will to turn around. Also good luck and great leaders. I pray that Baltimore has all that and can come back from its decline.

I know wonderful people who live in the area. I know Baltimore can do it. It’s still called charm city.

Tiny Family Reunion

We were supposed to be at a family reunion for a Cousin’s 80th birthday this weekend. Sadly there was a little health emergency and the party got canceled. We hear good things about recovery and we are praying for the best.

Since this was a planned in advance party that we were going to see Carter at, we were all sad that we were not going to be together. So at the last minute Russ, Carter and I decided we would have our own tiny nuclear family reunion.

We are in a secret location together for 24 hours. No real plans. Just being together and a good place for dinner. We are having a wonderful time and I will be less cryptic about it tomorrow.

The Scene that’s Even too Awful for the Movies

The scene is two grown women having a slap fight. You know the kind in the movies where they have handing flapping at each other, not really connecting, like two big birds flapping their wings at each other. They screech at each other and throw out horrible insults. It’s embarrassing and childish.

Now imagine those women are really two men, acting the exact same way. Arms flailing, hands sissy flapping, calling each other names. It’s not the movies, but what we have come to in America and everyone is watching. And everyone is laughing. Not with them, but at them.

They are two pitiful girls, hurling insults at each other like middle schoolers. And I mean no insult to middle school girls. You can’t make this mess up and a mess it is. The break up was predicted, but the flinging of insults happened faster than even the screen writer could have written.

Please can we have some grown ups who are not on drugs step in and be in charge? Where are these big babies Mommies? It’s time to put them in time out.

Growing Misfits

I went out to the garden tonight to cut some basil for dinner. I did a cursory look around and found a yellow squash ready to be picked. It was a Mama and baby fused together. Perfectly good to eat, but if it were at a farm it would be rejected for sale at a grocery store.

Then I noticed two very long and skinny, and spiny cucumbers. Had to pick those too. They were so prickly my fingers got stabbed. They are also so thin. They never would make the grade at a store. But despite being ugly and downright hurtful, they make the grade at my house.

Farming is heart breaking. It is hard to grow perfect looking food. But why does it need to be perfect to look at if it is perfect tasting? A yellow squash with a tailgater will not even be recognizable once I cut it up and cook it. A girthless cucumber, once peeled and chopped will make delicious gazpacho. The good news about those thin cucumbers is that they can’t have too many seeds yet.

It is best to not judge a vegetable by its looks, just like we shouldn’t judge our friends by their looks. Beauty is great, but being more than just beautiful is what is important.

Your Plan Might Not be The Plan

There are some days when you just have to go with the flow and pivot. This is a skill I really only got good at later in life. My younger self was much more programmed and scheduled. And if something got in the way of the plan I would not be happy.

Now, if something changes I try and see it as an opportunity to do something new. This morning I had on my calendar to take someone to an appointment. Turns out they changed the appointment and right as I was about to pick them up they told me. No problem. I had gotten up early and called and texted to confirm, but when it didn’t happen I was not upset. It just meant I had more free time in my morning.

Then a big weekend plan changed. The change was not for a happy reason and I am hoping that everything works out. But the weekend plan was canceled. So rather than mope we made a new plan. The first plan was going to be great, but since it can’t happen we now have a back up pivot plan, which I think will be great.

No reason to lament, just make the most of the situation at hand. I so wish I had learned to do this earlier in life. Understanding that your plan may not be the plan and that the new plan might be just as good or even better just makes you happier.