Oddity? Perhaps

I know my hearing is getting worse. I am sixty four and it might be time to start to get it checked.

Tonight I was sitting with my friend Kristi at her house after we enjoyed a nice dinner at Island Grille. I have had a wonderful time staying with her and we laugh constantly.

As we were talking I thought Kristi said to me, “You are an Odyssey.”

Not know what in the world that meant I asked her, “What is an Odyssey?”

She quickly corrected me. “An Oddity.”

Well, she isn’t wrong, but I kind of liked being an Odyssey more than an Oddity.

Time to get my hearing checked. I will still be an oddity, even if I can improve my hearing.

Nutrition Education Camp

I’m back at the beach for another week of Mah Jongg with sand. This week I am staying with my friend Kristi. Kristi is my own personal nutritionist. It never fails that whatever eating issue I am dealing with at the moment Kristi is going to be an expert in and help me.

Last year, or the year before last, (I can’t remember exactly when because I blocked it out of my memory), my doctor had me go gluten free to see if I had an issue with gluten. I was like a pilgrim religiously following a gluten free regime. Kristi has been gluten free for a long while and so when I stayed with her then she gave me a huge tour of all the best gluten free products. She saved me a fortune in not buying the awful tasting products.

My doctor finally declared after 11 months of no gluten that I was free to eat gluten again. Being gluten free did nothing for me, except make me mad that I couldn’t eat regular pizza. I was 50 minutes into my hour appointment when the doctor said that I could eat gluten again. I told her she really buried the lead.

The first thing I did was gather all the gluten free products I had and brought them to Kristi so I knew they wouldn’t go to waste.

So now I am trying to eat more protein and I mentioned to Kristi that I am having trouble getting enough protein. She jumps right into action and shows me three products she things will help me. One is a protein drink, another a yogurt and the third is a bar that she swears tastes just like thin mints.

So now I am going to drink a protein drink before I go off to work in the morning and she put a protein bar in my purse.

Coming to stay with Kristi is the best Nutrition camp I could ever find. I hope someday my doctor says, “I’d like you to eat more ice cream.” Then Kristi and I can go on a tour of ice cream parlors.

Bad Surprise

Russ brought the mail in tonight. He gave me most of it and he took a hand written envelope. He stood over me as he opened it and tons of tiny glitter circles fell out of the card that he pulled from the envelope.

“Stop,” I cried. “Don’t open it any further and out it back in the envelope without tilting it.”

It was mainly too late. Glitter covered the rug.

It was a thank you note from a college graduate we had sent a gift too. At this point in her life she should know you don’t mail anyone glitter. It is tantamount to mailing anthrax.

Please consider this a public service announcement and instruct everyone in your household not to mail glitter. I know that graduation is a time for celebration, but we celebrated you by sending a gift. Don’t assault us for doing it.

This glitter pretty much guarantees I will not be sending another gift too this person ever again. I can’t take the chance that glitter herpes will be sent to my house again.

Mah Jongg in Days of Yore

I have been playing American Mah Jongg over 30 years. I have my cards from all those years, although they are scattered around the house. I don’t think I could find them all easily. Apparently they might be worth something on the secondary market.

One of my darling students, Suzanne of Tallahassee likes finding friend’s birth year mah Jongg cards. She found the 1960-61 card along with 62, 63, and 64. And she sent them to me as a gift.

I was struck by how small they were. The ‘60-‘61 card cost .30¢. The first thing I noticed is that it used way too many flowers and hardly any winds. Then I read that the game used 14 flowers and 2 Big Jokers. They used stickers to change two of the flowers into jokers. There were also no hands of the year. I can imagine the frustration that came from playing that year.

So much of Mah Jongg hands have remained the same. The biggest change is we play with 8 flowers and 8 jokers. Now people of all ages are playing the game, probably not the same as 1960-61.

Thanks Suzanne for the wonderful gift. I can’t wait to study all these cards and see how many hands I recognize. This might encourage me to search for all my old cards and visit favorite old hands.

Teaching an Old Dog

I live by my iPad. I write my blog on it everyday. I play and teach mah Jongg using it. I read and write my mail and messages. Edit photos. Play my NYT games and report my scores to my gang. So when my only 3 year old iPad started running out of memory it became a nightmare.

I was constantly deleting photos and videos, messages and movies. I offloaded every app I could. The last few months have been a clean up extravaganza. Yet I still could not get ahead of my storage problem. I could not download software updates and my iPad was mad at me all the time.

How could my beloved hate me so much. I just wanted to write and post my blog with one simple phot and it would not do it. That was it. Time for an upgrade.

There are no words Russ loves to hear more than, “It’s time to go to the Apple Store.” So off we went today. I got a new bigger, literally, iPad. It is the biggest screen and a whole terabyte of memory. I don’t even know what a terabyte is, except if it were a food it would be as fattening as a whole chocolate cake.

Now comes the pain in the neck of learning all the things this iPad can do that my old one couldn’t. I never actually learn all the features. I am lucky if I can type. I do not like the case and keyboard. I am able to type just fine on the screen. Russ was worried that the bigger screen would mean I would have Trouble typing. So far the only real issue is the period is one key over and I keep typing the backslash. I’ll get used to it.

I’m an old dog, but I like tricks so I will try and learn them. For now let’s see how I do with posting my blog. Then it’s off to play mah Jongg. Some things are the most Important..

Resort Mah Jongg Classes at the Tides Inn

I am pleased to announce I will be teaching both Beginner Mah Jongg and Beyond Beginner at the Historic Tides Inn in Irvington, Virginia in October. There is no more fun way to learn or improve your game than doing it in a most beautiful setting with fabulous food and other fun activities.

The Tides Inn, under new ownership, has under gone a major renovation to both the outside and inside of the property. Located on the Northern Neck of Virginia on the Chesapeake Bay, it is the jewel of Virginia.

My classes will be the Weekend of October 24-26, but come the day before to settle in and enjoy the inn, and leave on the 27 so that you can make it a true long weekend of fun and play.

The Tides is offering an inclusive package which includes your room, meals and class or a package of your room and class. Both packages include two wine receptions with me. The wine is the draw, not me.

Tides is only 3 hours from Washington DC and an hour from Richmond. Make it a fun girls trip or just come on your own. There will be plenty of opportunities to make new friends in Mah Jongg Class.

Here is the link to the Tides Inn to learn more about Mah Jongg weekend with me.

https://tidesinn.com/irvington-va-hotel-experiences/seasonal-events/mah-jongg-weekend/

As always to find out about all my classes or to contact me about creating a class visit my website www.learnmahjongg.com

Winning a Hard One

There is nothing I love more than brilliant dedicated students. When I teach people more than one class I get a chance to know them, know how they think, what their likes and dislikes are and where they might be able to learn to think differently.

In Beyond Beginner the students learn not just from me, but also from each other as they discuss options and choices. This week’s class included a group of friends who play regularly together so they know each other’s favorite hands and neighborhoods.

Michelle likes to play closed hands which are notoriously more difficult than non-closed hands. It frustrates her friends that she not only plays them, but wins with them too. As this group is experienced I did not mind attempting more difficult closed hands with them.

Michelle pointed out a closed hand potential right from the deal and as the Charleston went on that hand became stronger and stronger, ending the Charleston with 11 of fourteen tiles. We only needed one flower and two different threes which could also have been jokers. We quickly drew a flower. Then one joker followed by another, winning the hand as a self picked Mah Jongg with 72 tiles still left in the wall.

I gave Michelle .60¢ for the win! It was exciting for the less experienced players to see how much fun trying for a harder hand and winning can be.

So Nice We Did It Twice

I basically teach mah Jongg just so I can have meals with friends and stay at friends vacation homes. Yes, I taught two classes today and those ladies were delightful, but the highlight of my day was my friends who come to see me when I was between classes.

I was scheduled to have lunch with Mary Jo, she invited Jill, which was great because I was not sure she was going to be down at the beach this week. Then Mary Jo invited Trina and Kay. With only a one hour lunch break it was not enough time to talk with everyone. So I did not get a chance to catch up with Mary Jo at all. Now I will have to call her when I am driving home tomorrow to talk about what we didn’t get to talk about at lunch.

After my Beyond class I did a tiny amount of fast shopping on my way to meet my friends at dinner. Ann had told me to go to Cecil and Finch and I tried on a cute dress that I loved, then I looked at the tag. It had been marked down to $29.95. I asked the sales girl if that could possibly be the price and she said, “absolutely.” What a great find.

I walked around the corner to Aqua and met up with Ann, Neppie and Reba for a redux dinner. We sat on the porch and had a delightful time. The best thing I ate was the amuse bouche which was a white bean, cabbage and carrot salad in some citrus cilantro dressing. We asked the server exactly what was in it, but were certain the answer we got was short a few key ingredients. I wish I had more than one bite because I would love to recreate it.

Ann and I came back to her place and talked too long tonight and I fear I am going to be short on sleep. I need to be sharp tomorrow for the Beyond class because we have not been winning enough games. Still fun and lots of good teachable moments, but I want them to win more too.

I’ll be back next week at Coral Bay. Come learn with me.

Work or Fun?

This is the start of my beach o’mah Jongg season. I have five different beach weeks teaching this summer. Usually I drive down to the beach at 5:30 in the morning to arrive in time to set up for a nine AM class. That is what I did this morning.

I had beginners in the morning. Then my friend Annette came and met me for lunch during my one hour break. It was great to catch up with her, but was much too short.

I had to get back to teaching at one for my beyond beginners. It is always a lively group in beyond as they are used to me and I had great players in that class.

By four I was worn out. I drove to my friend Ann Cherry’s who is generously hosting me this week. We had a good catch up time and then went to dinner with Reba and Neppie. So much fun was had at dinner and after three and a half hours at the table I finally hit the wall. It was a full day of nonstop fun even if half of it was work.

At least I can sleep until at least seven tomorrow. It will feel like I am on vacation.

Watermelon Gazpacho Heaven

Summer is made for cold soups. My favorite is Watermelon Gazpacho and it is the easiest. You only need a good blender.

1/2 a medium watermelon

1 1/2 cucumbers-peeled

1/2 red onion

1 large Jalapeño leave seeds if you like spice

15 cherry tomatoes

1/4 cup red wine vinegar

Juice of half a lime

20 basil leaves

15 mint leaves

Salt to taste

Put half of everything in the blender and blend. Put in a container and do it again with the other half.

Chill, stir and serve. Enjoy!

The Fathers Day Failure

Father’s Day is never properly celebrated in my house. I blame it on my mother who never had us do anything special for my father on Father’s Day. If he was lucky we didn’t make him take us to the riding club to and go swimming with us. Instead we would just tell him he could drop us off.

Consequently I did not make Carter do big things for her father on Father’s Day. Now my father is gone and Carter is not home so I am the only one around to celebrate for Russ, but he is not my father. So no card. No breakfast in bed. Instead he spent t the better part of the day on phone calls when I am sure he would rather have done other things.

On a normal Sunday I could cheer him up with a This Old House watch party, but the season is over so I don’t even have that for him. I did cook a little flounder for dinner and made artichokes, but nothing special.

I wish I could come up with a Father’s Day Jackpot that would make up for years of terrible Father’s Days. Maybe if I start now I can come up with a good idea for next year. But I realize we will be in the middle of wedding next year so it will be another overlooked Father’s Day.

For now I have to depend of Shay’s adoration of Russ to make him feel special. I just want him to know that I think he is a superior father as his only child turned out to be a great person, in spite of mistakes that might have been made by her mother.

Happy Father’s Day Russ. I’ll keep practicing and one day I’ll get it right.

NO KINGS DURHAM WAS BIG

Russ and I ran into our friend Amy at the farmer’s Market this morning. “Are you protesting?” She asked. And I replied, “I am always protesting.”

Then she invited me to our friend Michelle’s house to make signs before we went to the Durham NO KINGS protest. We didn’t have a lot of time, but we made signs and went downtown. As we walked to CCB Plaza Amy said, “I hope we have like 1,000 People.”

“I am certain we will have more than 1,000.”

There were between 5,000 and 10,000 people there. There were great signs. And all peaceful. We marched from the plaza down Rigsbee street and back up Foster. The march was about eight blocks each direction and it was packed.

I got over heated and am so thankful for our band of friends who got me water, and fanned me with our signs and rolled up my pants. I drew the line at taking off my shirt which Amy tried to Get me to do by taking hers off in solidarity. I figured I did not need people protesting me being shirtless. Thanks, Ann for being a great nurse, Jamie, Michelle and Amy for being great fanners and Leighton for Water delivery.

Mostly way to go Durham for turning out! WE ARE THE PEOPLE! Don’t forget how we got this country. We will not allow it to be stolen from us.

My Week Off

When I plan my calendar I do it almost a year in advance. I know that I take six weeks off in August and September and I usually take the whole month off for the Christmas holidays. If I don’t decide this up front I would schedule too much and then I would never have a break.

This year I was so busy from January 1 until last week I really didn’t take any time off. So I purposely gave myself this week off. I figured I needed it to do important work around the house. I have a big list of things to do that somehow never gets worked on. When better than a week I don’t have to go anywhere, even Raleigh.

So I did go to the dentist and get my mammogram and other medical stuff. You know the appointments you have to plan well in advance. But then did I even look at my list? Absolutely not.

Instead I have been binge watching Sex in the City and all related movies and shows and trying to finish my needlepoint chair seat. After I watched the first episode of season 3 of “And Just Like That” my TV just started in on season one of Sex in the City and I went with it. I realized that I had never actually watched the early years. Carter was a baby and I am sure I was so far from Carrie in NYC at that time.

I have relived the nineties, aughts, teens and twenties all in one week. I am still stitching away with just this bit left. I put a magazine in the photo to give you are reference size as to how big this canvas really is. Thankfully I have less than half a magazine left. So it’s back to binging and stitching and not getting anything else done. It was a nice week off, but I have felt very guilty just watching and stitching.

“Mother Nature Wants to Droop”

No truer statement was ever uttered to me during a mammogram. As a well endowed woman of a certain age there is not much I can do to reverse what has already happened.

Regardless it is important to get your yearly squishing no matter how much it hurts. The flattening of the the breast between the plexiglass plate and the machine is not the worst thing. The holding your breath through the pain so they can get a good imagine is the worst part. I swear my tech makes me start holding my breath more seconds before hand than are necessary.

Thankfully I did my part well enough that I didn’t have to have extra pictures taken. I will now wait for the results. Don’t put off getting your annual squishing. I had two friends this year with breast cancer who are both clean now thanks to early detection and good medical care. But if you don’t get your mammogram you won’t find it early enough if it is going to happen. Pray it doesn’t happen, but if it does, fix it fast.

A Little Brown Dog and Her Blue Baby

Shay has a preference for blue stuffed dogs as her lovey of choice. She has big blue dogs and little blue dogs, but they are all blue. If you take her in a pet store, she picks out the blue dogs. Not pink. Not red. Not Brown or Camo. Always Blue.

She has five or six blue dogs in her play room. She has one is Russ’ office and one on our bed. Most are missing a squeaker. Most are missing some if not all limbs. Some are missing the majority of their stuffing. But she loves them all equally.

Her bed blue dog makes the perfect pillow. She loving it snuggles with it when she isn’t snuggling with us. Why she likes blue? We will never know, but blue is her color of choice. Don’t tell me dogs can’t see colors because Shay certainly can.

A little brown dog with a little blue friend. She knows they look best together.

Ahead of the Trend

I have never been a follow-the-trends kind of gal. When everyone was getting a perm I said, “Not me.” When everyone was collecting Bennie Babies I said, “Not me.” When everyone was roller blading, I said, “Not me.” I have never been a follower, nor did I care what everyone else was doing.

Now apparently all the things I like to do and have been doing for decades are the hot things to do. I had more than a few students send me a screen shot from the Today show of what are the Hot trends of the summer.

Mah Jongg is the the top event category on Event Bright, up 345%. Next is Needlepoint, up 41%. That is really something because Needlepoint is not easily an event. The third trend was Baking Events up 38%.

Today I played Mah Jongg, while needlepointing, while cookies were baking in the oven. All my activities are trending, but none were events. I played mah Jongg online, while trying to finish the third chair seat for my mah Jongg table and the cookies were for a funeral at church tomorrow.

At 64 I am now hot. It just took waiting around for the rest of the world to catch up to the things I like. When they go out of favor I will still be doing them.

If you want to learn to play mah Jongg visit my website, www.learnmahjongg.com

You can be hot like me by the end of the summer. If you need help with needlepoint I can do that too!

The Whole City Send Off for Holley

I don’t think I have ever seen so many people at one funeral in my life, but it was no surprise. Duke Chapel was packed with everyone in town and many from out of town who came to celebrate the happy life of Holley Barnes Broughton. Those in the know wore bright colors as we were instructed. Thank goodness so many did because it would be hard to explain why I had a bright pink and green dress on at a funeral.

Jan picked me up and thanks to her husband’s Duke parking tag we were able to get into good parking easily. We sat in the fourth row surrounded by friends. Every where I looked I saw friends.

Holley had planned everything and it was so Holley. We sang and listened to a beautiful Homily and sang some more. At one point I was overcome and had to sit down to sing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot and Will the Circle Be Unbroken.

By the time the service was over I was dehydrated. I could not stand outside in the sun and hug people too long so Jan took me to get some water and then suggested we needed ice cream to toast Holley. So that’s what we did.

Paul and the children did a great job of honoring sweet Holley. I can only imagine how exhausted they must be. I pray that everyone who was a witness to her life takes the flame of kindness she lit out into the darkness. Holley was one of a kind, but we can all emulate the sunshine she exuded, even if just a little.

Farewell sweet friend. I felt you through the whole service. You will never be forgotten.

Baltimore, What Happened?

Our tiny family reunion happened in Baltimore. That is where Carter’s flight came into. So we booked a hotel and drove up and met her. My best college friend grew up outside Baltimore. She got married there. I spent plenty of time there back in my younger years. When I lived in Washington DC I used to go to Baltimore regularly to visit my customers there. It was in the 80’s when the Inner harbor had been built and Baltimore was doing well.

Then came Camden Yards, the downtown ball park of the Baltimore Orioles. Baltimore was doing well. Yes, it was not perfect. There was crime, but downtown had workers, residents and visitors.

When Carter was in elementary school we went to Baltimore to visit the National Aquarium and spend the night. Baltimore was good. In Middle school we stopped in Baltimore on our way home from Maine and visited the Under Armor store and eat some good Seafood. Baltimore seemed good.

We drove in yesterday. We stoped at a market for some lunch. The homeless people out numbered the patrons by 3:1. Stores were boarded up. The streets were dirty.

We went to our hotel. One we had stayed at before. The hotel itself was fine, but the buildings around it were empty. Beautiful buildings. Ones from the 20’s, 30’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and so on. Empty, with graffiti on windows or the plywood covering windows. There was not much traffic as there was not much to do.

We did not let the city keep us from a great visit. He holed up in the hotel having a great time. We dressed for dinner and decided to walk the half an hour. It was daylight out. We felt relatively safe as we’re were a group of big people strong people.

As we walked the most direct route we eventually came upon the first store front businesses we had seen open. Four sex shops. The run down kind of places that looked like they had been there since 1965 with no improvements. Only the drug addled bouncers who stood in the door ways looked newer than 1965.

We rounded the corner and continued our walk eventually coming to the waterfront district where there were some going concerns. The Four Seasons Hotel and successful restaurants. Not as much poverty or homelessness that was apparent not far off.

The prosperous area was small and felt like it was tenuous as so many beautiful buildings lay fallow close by. A city on the way down takes decades and strong will to turn around. Also good luck and great leaders. I pray that Baltimore has all that and can come back from its decline.

I know wonderful people who live in the area. I know Baltimore can do it. It’s still called charm city.

Tiny Family Reunion

We were supposed to be at a family reunion for a Cousin’s 80th birthday this weekend. Sadly there was a little health emergency and the party got canceled. We hear good things about recovery and we are praying for the best.

Since this was a planned in advance party that we were going to see Carter at, we were all sad that we were not going to be together. So at the last minute Russ, Carter and I decided we would have our own tiny nuclear family reunion.

We are in a secret location together for 24 hours. No real plans. Just being together and a good place for dinner. We are having a wonderful time and I will be less cryptic about it tomorrow.

The Scene that’s Even too Awful for the Movies

The scene is two grown women having a slap fight. You know the kind in the movies where they have handing flapping at each other, not really connecting, like two big birds flapping their wings at each other. They screech at each other and throw out horrible insults. It’s embarrassing and childish.

Now imagine those women are really two men, acting the exact same way. Arms flailing, hands sissy flapping, calling each other names. It’s not the movies, but what we have come to in America and everyone is watching. And everyone is laughing. Not with them, but at them.

They are two pitiful girls, hurling insults at each other like middle schoolers. And I mean no insult to middle school girls. You can’t make this mess up and a mess it is. The break up was predicted, but the flinging of insults happened faster than even the screen writer could have written.

Please can we have some grown ups who are not on drugs step in and be in charge? Where are these big babies Mommies? It’s time to put them in time out.

Growing Misfits

I went out to the garden tonight to cut some basil for dinner. I did a cursory look around and found a yellow squash ready to be picked. It was a Mama and baby fused together. Perfectly good to eat, but if it were at a farm it would be rejected for sale at a grocery store.

Then I noticed two very long and skinny, and spiny cucumbers. Had to pick those too. They were so prickly my fingers got stabbed. They are also so thin. They never would make the grade at a store. But despite being ugly and downright hurtful, they make the grade at my house.

Farming is heart breaking. It is hard to grow perfect looking food. But why does it need to be perfect to look at if it is perfect tasting? A yellow squash with a tailgater will not even be recognizable once I cut it up and cook it. A girthless cucumber, once peeled and chopped will make delicious gazpacho. The good news about those thin cucumbers is that they can’t have too many seeds yet.

It is best to not judge a vegetable by its looks, just like we shouldn’t judge our friends by their looks. Beauty is great, but being more than just beautiful is what is important.

Your Plan Might Not be The Plan

There are some days when you just have to go with the flow and pivot. This is a skill I really only got good at later in life. My younger self was much more programmed and scheduled. And if something got in the way of the plan I would not be happy.

Now, if something changes I try and see it as an opportunity to do something new. This morning I had on my calendar to take someone to an appointment. Turns out they changed the appointment and right as I was about to pick them up they told me. No problem. I had gotten up early and called and texted to confirm, but when it didn’t happen I was not upset. It just meant I had more free time in my morning.

Then a big weekend plan changed. The change was not for a happy reason and I am hoping that everything works out. But the weekend plan was canceled. So rather than mope we made a new plan. The first plan was going to be great, but since it can’t happen we now have a back up pivot plan, which I think will be great.

No reason to lament, just make the most of the situation at hand. I so wish I had learned to do this earlier in life. Understanding that your plan may not be the plan and that the new plan might be just as good or even better just makes you happier.

Just Navy

When Russ and I first bought our current house 31 years ago we were the youngest people on the street. Russ was not yet 30 so technically he was the youngest. Soon after we moved in an older to us couple moved into the house across the street. They were in their late fifties, renting that house while the husband got a graduate degree from Duke for fun.

They were from Texas and still spent lots of time in Texas as they had young grand children. I can’t remember their names, but they were very nice. The wife did not work and since I was working in Canada and London going back and forth I didn’t have much time to get to know her.

The one thing I did notice is every time I did see her she was wearing Navy blue. She had dark hair and pale white perfect skin. Sometimes she wore white with Navy Blue, but always Navy.

I mentioned this to Russ one day. He also commented that her Mercedes was also Navy blue. So I started to keep track every time I saw her and I can say without a doubt I never saw her without Navy on.

Fast forward to tonight. I was getting undressed from class and hanging up my dress in my closet. I tend to put the thing I just wore in the front of the closet as I don’t really have a system. I looked at the sleeves of all the clothes in the front and noticed every single thing was blue, most with white.

I had turned into my nameless neighbor. No need to think about what I am wearing. It will be blue and maybe white. I think it makes life easier to just have a color. When I travel I just take one color and white. Everything goes together and you only need two pairs of shoes. One blue and one white. That Texas woman was really smart.

Writing from the Grave

My cousin Ward sent me an article today with the subject line, “your father was a visionary.” It was an article from something called “world atlas” of the nine best towns for retirees in the south.”

The reason Ward said my father was a visionary is two of the places were the places my father retired to, Litchfield Beach, SC and Danville Va. Well he didn’t exactly retire to Danville, just a mile outside the state line, but close enough to Danville.

I don’t know a thing about this World Atlas site, but when it mentioned that the pluses for Danville included that it had once been the capital of the confederacy and the Roman Eagle Retirement home I thought, obviously no writer visited before making this list. I am not sure putting the confederacy on a pedestal is a good look these days.

Nonetheless this is not the best examples of what a visionary my Dad was, more like it is a message from the grave from him that he wants us to remember he was always right.

Since we are going to a family birthday for my father’s youngest first cousin this weekend I am certain some stories will be told. We will be missing all those cousins of my father’s who have gone to the great beyond, but happy to celebrate Harry, who at 80 is the youngest.

Wish my Dad had left a toast for Harry. Maybe Ward will find a fitting post from the internet that sounds like my Dad had written it. Stranger things have happened.

I Don’t Give a Fig

Some years ago I bought a fig plant at the farmer’s market. I planted it in a corner of the driveway bed. It grew and grew and after a few years we got some figs in August. Then we had a year with no figs. I read up on figs and learned I needed to prune that baby back in the fall. So I took a saw to it and cut the branches way back.

The next year it grew and grew and we got some figs. Again in August. I begged friends to come take the figs. They didn’t.

Last year we got a dozen or so figs in early summer, but the bulk of them came again, in August.

So this year we have have hundreds of big figs right now. None have ripened, but if they keep growing without ripening they will be the size of baseballs. Now, with the unripe big Figs we have thousands of new babies growing on the same branches.

I have no idea when the early figs will be ready, but I bet the new babies will be ripe in August. So this is your notice that come August you need to come pick some ripe figs. Don’t pick them when they are still hard as a picked fig will not ripen. Also don’t get the sap from the stem on your skin as it can be an irritant.

I have no clue what makes this plant work as it changes every year. Now I am just hoping for cherry tomatoes from those plants. They are so much more useful than figs.

Now, Was That So Hard?

I have to say I was a little skeptical that the NMJL would actually send new cards out by June. And for the single card I ordered under Russ’ name they did get a new corrected card to him today. For the record that is my card. Russ does not play.

I ordered one in his name after I ordered my bulk order because last year my bulk order took weeks and weeks to come despite being ordered January 1. And this year the single card order came on time and the bulk came two weeks later. Not happy about that. So I will be ordering a single one again next year.

The reason I was so skeptical is so many of my students have still not received the cards they ordered in February or March, let alone a new corrected card. So if the League was able to reprint and re-mail all new cards in less than two months why can’t they do the same for regular orders?

The offending part to me is that the league charges your credit card when you place the order even though it is months before they are going to send it. Then if you don’t receive your paid for order they don’t have an easy way for you to alert them that you did not get your card.

I encourage all my thousands of students to order their cards from the NMJL and not to buy them on Amazon where they could be counterfeit. But I would like the league to do better.

First. Hire a professional editor. Making two different mistakes on the two different sized cards is inexcusable. There is no way that is a printer’s error. Printing hasn’t worked that way in the last 30 years.

Second. Hire a better mail house to fulfill your orders.

Third. Hire real staff and pay them, not volunteers.

Fourth. Upgrade your website and online system so customers (that is what they are.) can communicate with you.

Fifth. If you have a phone, answer it. Get rid of the recording device that does not take messages.

Mah Jongg is hotter than ever. Don’t be the down fall.

Needlepoint Olympics

I have been working on a giant chair seat. The third in a series of four. To stitch a chair seat you have to add many inches all around to go over the sides of the cushion. It is boring and tedious work. A man who sits next to me at church, where I stitch every Sunday, is always amazed at my sticktoittiveness.

I had to take a quick break from my chair seat this week to stitch up a quick ornament. June will be here Sunday and I fear turning in an ornament past May if I expect to get it back in time for Christmas. So I have been doing nothing but needlepoint when I was not teaching this week.

I had a momentary lasp when my shoulder started to ache. No…not needlepoint shoulder. I adjusted my stitching to move the canvas and not the needle so I could keep my shoulder stationary for a few hours. It worked. I was able to stitch and rest one side of me at the same time.

I figure I can finish this little ornament in the morning and get back to my chair, which has no deadline.

Now I have to get to my other work which does have a deadline. If you were waiting for a mah Jongg email from me, it’s coming. Then I have to clean the wood floors. So much shoulder work ahead. At least I will be out of needlepoint Olympics by then.

Wonder Where Your Wife Is?

Tonight I was teaching my class at the Junior League in Raleigh. Such a wonderful group of women. I overheard one table discussing their love of Mah Jongg. She said that when her husband asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday she said, “Oh it’s all planned. I am going to be playing mah Jongg with my friends.”

One of her table mates said, “That’s what I did for my birthday. I went to the lake with my Mom and sister and we played mah Jongg all weekend.”

A third woman at the table said, “My husband has no idea I am even taking this class even though this is my third night in a row.”

Husbands, if you can’t find your wife, have no fear. She is not out having an affair. She is out playing or learning mah Jongg. Be happy for your wife. She is doing something that is good for her brain and her heart.

Guess what, you can do it too.

Mah Jongg for A Cause

In the Mah Jongg community there are experts and there are wannabes. I have crossed paths with plenty of them. There are one I highly respect as they are consistent, patient, smart and most of all kind. Two I happen to really like are Dara and Donna of Modern Mah Jongg. They live in South Florida so our paths don’t cross much. Because of my respect for them I am happy to promote a special event they are doing in New York City.

If you are there and would like to meet them, play a little Mah Jongg and help Alzheimer’s you can do it next month. Make sure to tell them you are my friend. I am sure you will enjoy them.

http://modernmahjong.com/products/mahjongandmanhattan

Flashing Lights on a Truck

It was pouring down rain late this afternoon when I was driving down Hillsborough st. In Raleigh on my way to Mah Jongg class. I don’t mind driving down Hillsborough in the summer as without the NC state students it is practically empty.

The rain made it very dark even though it was just after five. I noticed a truck following very closely behind me with annoying flashing lights in the grill. At first I thought I was being pulled over, but I looked more closely and saw it was a work truck with a ladder on top. I also knew I had not committed a moving violation.

I tried to ignore the truck, but the lights were flashing right in my rear view mirror and the guy was right on my tail. What was the purpose of this, there were hardly any other cars on the street. As we went around the roundabouts I was able to see the writing on the side of the truck. I was trying to acess if it was an emergency vehicle that had to get by me.

The first round about I couldn’t quite read the lettering. The second one I figured it out. GOOGLE FIBER. You have got to be kidding me. It’s like they are stalking me, even in a different city.

What gives with those flashing lights? Why were they needed? Oh wait, where you on a run to fix something you screwed up? That is my only answer for those lights.

So far I have heard of five other houses just in our neighborhood where they hit the gas line. Someone is going to blow up. Those flashing lights won’t help you then.

Holley on Film

Tonight we went to see a screening of the new documentary “Stitching Strength” about Dr. Richard Bedlack, the head of the ALS clinic at Duke. Dr. Bedlack was Holley’s fabulous doctor and there could have been no one better to care for her as they were quite a pair.

Dr. Bedlack is known for his colorful clothing, as was Holley. He is in the business of giving people hope who have gotten the most hopeless diagnosis. There was no one more positive or hopeful than Holley.

It was just perfect that Holley was able to be part of this documentary and we are just sad that these screenings came too late for us to see it with her. One of the last public things Holley did was go to be interviewed on UNC public radio with Dr. Bedlack for this documentary.

It was good to be with Laura, Nancy, Lee and Jan to see this. Nancy told us a story about how days before Holley was due to go to see Dr. Bedlack she would start worrying about what she was going to wear for her appointment. Holley has been notoriously bright and sparkly her whole life. Never one to pass by a chance to wear a boa. So having a doctor who also wore sequins on a weekday was a match made in heaven.

ALS is a terrible disease so having someone like Dr. Bedlack dedicated to studying it to find a cure is very important. This documentary is just in the beginning stages of being shown. I will post when and where you might be able to see it as it begins to get out in the world. Hopefully it will get picked up by a streaming service so everyone can have access to this important story.

Sadly Holley had already lost her voice when she was filmed, but her words are still hers and I am thankful we will have this record of her. I am certain that when I see a rainbow now Holley is close by. If it also sparkles that is her winking at us.

No Advantage for Cuteness in Mah Jongg

I had a special beyond beginner class at my house this week. Half of the class was made up of friends from church who all play together and the other half were women who had found me through my website and other previous students.

It was so wonderful to teach at home. I have to thank my students for being extra patient as I was dealing with the Google Fiber nightmares all during two days of classes.

The best part about teaching at home was having my teaching assistant with me. Shay demanded lots of attention during class, including asking for two dog biscuits right in the middle of working on a hand. Betty took this picture of the TA monitoring the students while I taught.

If Shay wasn’t so demanding I would teach at home more. It made it so nice not to have to pack the games up after class and carry them to the car. I am thankful Shay likes Mah Jongg so much that she pays rapt attention to all the lessons. I think she thinks she can beat everyone at the game. Little does she know, being cute does not get you anywhere in Mah Jongg.

50th Anniversary for Jim and Susan

When Russ and I first joined Westminster we met this family we loved. Jim and Susan Ketch and their daughter’s Katie and Megan. Katie was at NC State, but Megan was still in high school. When I was in a class at church with Susan I mentioned I was looking for a summer Nanny for Carter. Susan said Megan was looking for a job. It was a match made in heaven.

Megan became part of our family and we came to love all the Ketch family. To this day we sit in the same section of church as long as there are no interlopers. We jokingly call it the lector sector. It is slightly less full of lectors now that Jim sings in the choir, but that just means I get more time with Susan.

When we got the invitation for Jim and Susan’s 50th wedding anniversary we knew we had to be there. First it meant that Megan and her husband Max and darling boy Leon would be there. Second, it was going to be great fun with Katie and her husband Mark and kids, Lilly, Graham and Oliver. And of course it’s quite the accomplishment for Jim and Susan.

Our minister Chris came with his wife Carrie and it happens to be their 22 anniversary. So it was a celebration all around.

The Ketch offspring all gave speeches with each person choosing a word to describe Jim and Susan, Megan chose light, Katie chose faith and the son in laws and grand children all had words of their own. There were many tender moments especially when Lilly, now a college sophomore choked up with tears and then so did her Dad. Such a good son in law. Max, closed the family speeches by saying Jim and Susan’s only failing was their daughters had married down, which could not be farther from the truth, but it gave a moment of levity.

Megan said that at their 40th anniversary Megan asked them each for a word and they said independence and trust. Two excellent words to live by if you are looking for a long and happy marriage. Thanks to all the Ketch, Donoways and Ketch- Deacons for a lovely party for a favorite couple.

Bad Mah Jongg Advice is Everywhere

With the giant increase in Mah Jongg comes along a lot of people who claim to be Mah Jongg experts. For the record, there is no certification for mah Jongg teachers. There are no Mah Jongg teacher colleges and certainly no PhD’s in Mah Jongg.

There are lots of teachers who have been teaching for many years. Many years still don’t make them good or bad teachers. What we seem to have a lot of now are Mah Jongg tile manufacturers who have created “ambassadors” or “mentors” who sell tiles. Selling tiles is great, but just because who have played a little mah Jongg and have been deemed a “mentors” by a company whose product you are selling does not make you a teacher, or an expert.

Ambassadors or Mentors are more like Mary Kay sales girls who teach you how to do your make up and then sell you that make up. They aren’t make up artists, they are sales people.

Now I grew up selling stuff. I love sales people. I think it’s great for women to represent a product they love and am happy for them to sell it. What I don’t like is these sales people making videos as teachers giving advice that is just not correct.

In their defense, they might have learned this advice from a not very good teacher, but that does not mean anyone should listen to them. Right now the internet is flooded with these people. So many “experts” giving wrong advice.

I know that people want to learn as much as they can. It is an exciting and addictive game. But it is difficult to decipher the real experts from the Mary Kay girls. My advice is if the reel, intsa, tic toc, you tube you are watching is tagged with a tile company brand you are not watching a teacher who teaches for the love of the game, but a sales person and should take what they say with a grain of salt.

There are some online folks I consider true experts like Modern Mah Jongg. I don’t make videos despite the pleas from my students. The exception is my new card class which was recorded when I did the zoom session. I like to spend time with real people and that is what makes teaching fun for me. I get energy from being in the room with the students. So making videos would be boring for me.

I also don’t search out mah Jongg videos, but sometimes when I am scrolling they come up. This is how I see all the incorrect information and it makes me crazy.

My advice is find a real teacher who has been doing it a long time and for a lot of people. A bad Mah Jongg teacher can turn off more people than they excite because learning mah Jongg is hard at first. If someone does not have a very systematic way to teach you it will be so much harder to learn.

Ask around about teachers. Good teachers will have lots of students who will be happy to tell you what learning from them is like. Time is important. Don’t waste yours with a non-expert. It will take you five times as long to learn.

If you have questions I am happy to answer them. If you are unsure you got the right advice ask me. The one thing everyone who has taken from me knows is I will always have an answer and I will give you the reason behind the answer.

If you want to further your mah Jongg knowledge I have a Beyond beginner Class May 27-29 in Raleigh from 6-9 pm that still has room. I don’t represent any companies so I will not try and sell you any tiles.

Three Days, Three Strikes

I was hoping that yesterday would be a better day than the start of my week. After enduring the cutting of my cable line, the cutting of my gas line and the cutting of my water line in a 30 hour period I felt like I was due for a break.

Yesterday started great. I had a beyond beginners class class in the morning at home. Russ was away and Shay had stayed close by me the whole time he was gone. It was her 14 Birthday on Tuesday and we did not properly celebrate it.

I drove to Raleigh in the afternoon for my class at North Ridge Country Club. They are a delightful group and we had a great class yesterday. Russ was flying home while I was at class so as soon as it finished I called him during my drive home. Shay was happy to have him fawning all over her while we talked. Then, while still in Raleigh, I got a call waiting Interruption from my mother’s phone.

It was 9:15 PM and I told Russ I would call him back. My mother never calls at night. People die and she still doesn’t call.

Without giving out her personal info the call was to tell me she was going via Ambulance to the hospital. I told her I would meet her there. I told Russ.

We both met my mom at the Duke er. It was packed full of people in wheelchairs with blankets. What was wrong with my mother was not so bad that it qualified her to be seen anytime soon. After a bit she decided that she would do better to be home in her own bed.

I took her home and Russ went and got her some supplies and delivered them to me at my Mom’s. She was still alive this morning. Hopefully her regular doctor has figured out what is wrong and she will be recovered soon.

Needless to say it was not the end to the day I was hoping for. So much for a better day. I am writing this blog early before I go to Raleigh to teach tonight because when I get home I am going right to sleep. Fingers crossed there is nothing to report.

No ER

No time for real blog tonight. But here is the headline. Don’t go to the emergency room at 10:00 at night for any reason.

Google Fiber Nightmare Day TWO

In the “you can’t make this shit up” department my living nightmare with Google Fiber continues. Just to understand. I am not a Google Fiber customer. I am not having these problems because I ordered Google Fiber. This is Google Fiber running lines down the 300 ft. Frontage of my property so they can potentially sell Google Fiber to someone. We already have AT&T fiber. We have Spectrum Cable. Apparently there is another Fiber company wanting to come in and lay lines. We have T-Mobile 5G. All these companies are competing for the same customers. There are no new customers in our neighborhood.

Last night I sent my blog to some city officials, who it happened to be in a city council meeting at that time and they read my blog. At 7:45 I got an email from the city inspector in charge of these kind of infrastructure builds that he would be coming to my house this morning and would be dealing with the installers.

OK, to today’s saga. I looked out the window this morning at at 7:45 I saw guys digging up my yard again to try and run the fiber they couldn’t do yesterday because they ran out time waiting for my gas line to be fixed after they cut my gas line. They also cut my cable line and the AT&T fiber line.

About 45 minutes later I went to run the water in the kitchen sink and there was no water pressure. F@#$. It trickled down to nothing fairly quickly.

I went out to the street and told the same guys from yesterday that they had CUT MY WATER LINE! The crew chief, who is the only one who speaks English, was no where to be found. I asked these guys to call him. He eventually showed up as the water was overflowing in the hole and running down the street.

I asked him if he would like to cut off my water. He said they were trying to dig it up my water meter. I told him he was not even close to where it is and asked if he would like for me to show him where it is? NO. I told him anyway that the water cut off was on the other end of my property. He didn’t bother to pay attention to me.

He got on his phone to call and report to his boss the water line cut, but not the water department yet. All the while the water is running out of the ground. For the record the water kept running for 3 hours and forty five minutes. They could have stopped it, but would not listen to me.

At that time I had a large group of women arriving at my house to take a class. I went in and taught the class, but not without being Interrupted multiple times.

Eric the inspector from the city arrived. He came to the door and said he would take care of these guys. He is a prince. Then he got the water guy, who did listen to where the cut off was and he crawled under bushes to cut it off. He determined the cut they made was on my side of the meter so I was paying for all that water. That also meant the city would not fix the break.

As I talked more with Eric I came to learn that yesterday when they hit the gas line the first things they were supposed to do after stop digging, was alert ME AND ALL MY SURROUNDING NEIGHBORS so we could evacuate. That did not happen!

I eventually had to let my class go early (time I will have to make up with them later) so I could deal with getting the water line fixed. The nice man from the water department said they were not allowed to fix it, but he would make sure it got fixed correctly.

It took from 8:15 when I discovered the water line was broken, until 2:00 pm before I got my water back on.

In summary. Google Fiber Installers cut my cable line and did not tell me. They cut my gas line and didn’t tell me until I went out and asked why they stopped working 20 minutes earlier. They cut the AT &T line that goes to my neighbor’s house and didn’t tell me, or her, but when she came out and told me she lost AT &T I showed her where I knew it was buried and sure enough there were the cut lines in the hole they dug. No one from Google Fiber said they cut through lines when it happened, even though it was in plain sight. Google Fiber did not tell me they cut my water line, I had to tell them.

Yes, I could live without cable and I could live without gas, as long as it didn’t blow up, but I can’t live without water. We are not done yet. The fiber is not all laid and I still have giant holes in my front yard. What do you think Google Fiber owes me for 30 hours of hell?

If I Blow Up It’s Google Fiber Construction’s Fault

I thought the excitement for my day was over. I took my mother for a Tooth extraction that she had been dreading. That all went great. They gave her gas and she was as happy as she could be.

I got home at 11:30 to find google fiber construction people digging up my yard. I thought we had dodged that bullet when they installed on the other side of the street last week. I never thought they needed to run down both sides of the street.

One man was digging on the corner of my property near my mail box. Since we have cobble stones as the apron from our driveway to the street I asked him not to dig through the cobble stones, but to go through the gravel. He had to call the supervisor who spoke English and he pulled up in his truck with his dog. I asked him to not dig through the cobble stones.

He had his dander up and told me that everything would be fine that they never made mistakes. I told him everyone makes mistakes and I am just trying to prevent this one. I told him I was not accusing them of making a mistake, but he already was thinking I was a pushy white lady. Well, I am loud and bossy, but I just didn’t want my apron ruined.

He eventually got out of the truck and saw what I was talking about and he instructed his guy to dig exactly where I asked. That was all I wanted. I went inside as half a dozen men dug two foot trenches all along the frontage of my house.

I was working inside my internet went out. I checked my cable. It was out. I called Spectrum. Yes my line was dead. I went outside and sure enough they had dug right through my cable and it was sticking out in the dirt.

All six guys, none of them the supervisor, came and looked at it. Sure enough they had cut the line. It was obvious, it stuck out on both sides of the hole, but not one person thought they should come knock on my door and ask me if my cable was out.

I asked for the supervisor to come back. I might have asked for the supervisor to come back to my fucking house. They called him and said, “she wants the fucking supervisor.” In Spanish. Not exactly what I said, but then the supervisor asked to be put on speaker phone and demanded an apology and respect. (Just you wait.)

So he didn’t come back. I did call the google complaint line and they started a trouble ticket for me and 45 minutes later a nice guy named Mike showed up and agreed that this whole thing was handled badly.

Dave from Spectrum (my cable and internet company) showed up and I was showing him around the various places that the cable runs to and around and in my house. In the meantime the machine that shoots the cable underground stops running. It makes that loud “bam, bam, bam” sound so you notice when it stops.” I also have a giant hole in the middle of my driveway preventing me from driving out of my driveway.

Dave and I come around my house. They have not been running the cable shooting machine for at least ten minutes. So I ask them. “When are you going to be done burying the cable under my driveway?” None of the people there spoke English. They were waiting for the one who demanded respect to show back. Then I smelled it. They had now hit my gas line.

The respect demander arrived and called the fire department and the gas company. No one had thought to knock on my door or find me and get me out of my house when they hit the gas line.

“We hit your gas line. We can’t do anything.”

“Why didn’t anyone come tell me?” THIS WAS THE WORST OFFENSE. If you cut a gas line tell the homeowner right away!

So Dave moved his truck from in front of my house to the side road, but I was stuck. Eventually the fire truck came. They did check inside my house to make sure no gas was in there.

It took the gas company another bit to get here and then an army of them came. They dug up my yard and my across the street neighbors. It took an hour but they fixed the leak. The gas guys said the google fiber contractors had hit at least four gas lines this month.

I still had the giant hole in my driveway and I went to see when they would finish. That is when I came upon New supervisor talking to neighbor because they had cut her electric fence that was well inside the easement line.

Then my neighbor Amy came out as they had just cut her AT&T line. They tried to talk their way out of that but I showed them where that line came from on my property and sure enough, a giant hole right there.

So one crew took out four services and they still had not run the fiber on my property. Oh Joy, they come back in the morning.

To top it all off I had to miss my own needlepoint birthday celebration. Michelle brought by cake for me and said it smelled like gas outside. The gasman was still there and said that would disappear. But if I blow up, you know who to blame.

I’m Stayin’ At Your House

Summer is coming…and you know what that means…I’m drivin’ all over and staying with friends. I realized yesterday when I was writing about my Dad that I got that trait from him. Not because he ever stayed with anyone. No. Because he and my Mom left me in America alone when they moved to London and I was 18.

Now to be fair I was in school, but I did not go to London for every vacation. I only went to London for Christmas and Summer. So any other time I was not in school I had to find a place to stay.

Now my parents raised us to be very self sufficient. They did not worry that I wouldn’t have a place I could go. They never even asked particulars about where I would be going. No. I had a car and they knew I would figure it out. My father did give me one bit of advice. “Go and buy a case of Robert Mondavi Chardonnay and keep it in your car so you always have a gift when you go stay with people.”

Now when I was 18 the drinking age in Connecticut was 18, but I went to school in Pennsylvania where it was 21. And let’s not talk about driving liquor across state lines, as well as how bad it was for the wine to live in my car changing temperatures.

Anyway. I did follow his instructions and always brought wine wherever I went.

So now that summer is coming I am thinking about all the places I am going to be going, Atlantic Beach four times, Figure Eight, and up and back to Maine and all the times I am going to need to find someone to visit.

I realized yesterday that I was trained early to just impose on people and stay with them when I am in their town. I am brazen. I tell people I am looking for a place to stay. I have friends I come right out and ask, “Can I stay with you?” They all know they can say no, and they do if it is inconvenient. But here is the thing I promise if I come stay with you I am not bringing you a bottle of American wine that has sat in my hot car for three months.

Happy Heavenly Birthday to my Dad

If my Dad were still walking the earth he would be 87 today. He made it to 83 which I consider quite a feat for him. See, as a child he often started a story or lesson with this sentence, “I have to tell you this before I die.”

To a young child that is a terrible way to start a story. It just made me think, “Are you about to die?” And not hear another word after that.

Ed was a man of big gestures. When I went to summer camp he sent a care package to the whole camp of “sweet honesty” tee shirts and merchandise. “Sweet Honesty” was a teen fragrance that my Dad invented at Avon where he worked. I have no remembrance of the fragrance but the shirts were really cute in pinks, greens and baby blues. I was very popular giving out the loot my Dad sent to every camper and counselor alike.

When my Dad worked at Avon in NYC he would take me into his office a couple of times a year. I loved going on the train with him, even if he did make me stand in the bar car on the morning trip in where he would spread his paperwork out on the bar and work, since the bar was closed in the morning. He also made me stand in the bar car on the ride home as it was open.

He had a corner office on the 27th floor of 9 W. 57th st. over looking the Plaza and Central Park south. It was so glamourous. When Avon moved to the building they let each executive decorate their own offices and my Dad hired their Wilton Decorator, Warren Fett who was mainly an antique dealer.

My Dad knew that the antiques he would buy for his office would be depreciated as office furniture and when he left Avon he bought them for cents on the dollar. My breakfast room English Yew chairs still have the Avon inventory tag on the underside of them and the leaf green leather that Warren of Wilton, as my father called him, had put on the seats.

Even though my Dad started a lot of lessons with the “before I die” line, I did learn so much from him. I know that my data and analytical skills come from those lessons. Also, my interest in other people.

My father spoke to everyone wherever he went and usually started out the conversation with them the same way, “Where are you from and how long have you been doing this?” CEO’s to Taxi drivers all got the same treatment. Consequently I remember people by where they are from.

I was lucky to have so many good years with my Dad, although not all of them were good. I try and not think about when he was difficult, but he could be. One thing that was very hard was he usually was smarter than everyone else and sometimes that would frustrate him. But when he wanted something he could really turn on the charm and usually win people over, as long as he had not already called them a dope to their face.

I hope he is in heaven having a grand old time in the smart section and the dopes are in a different section. I would hate for him to be considered difficult in heaven, but chances are…

Dear Friends are Important

Jan and I went to lunch today to celebrate my birthday, quick before her birthday gets here next week. We tried Common Market up by East Campus since neither of us had been there. We had an enjoyable lunch mostly talking about our dear friend Holley.

Holley was just such a one-of-a-kind and we know we will never meet another like her. We also talked about how sad we are for Holley’s family and her very close friends. The thing about having a known illness is you have a lot of time to say everything you ever wants to say. Holley made it easy for us to do that. It was just such a long goodbye.

After lunch we had to go back to my house for the HVAC guy to come and do some maintenance. Since he parked Jan in we played many hands of Siamese mah Jongg. It was great fun and a wonderful way to celebrate my birthday with my dear friend.

I am just thankful that her knee replacement is healing well and her hair from her cancer treatment is growing back. After what we went through with Holley I need to keep my old friends around.

In the last couple of years I lost three dear long term friends. I know that I can’t live long enough to make new thirty-year friends so I have to keep the ones I have alive. Stay well dear friends. I need you. .

Farewell Holley B.

If I had to cast a person to play the roll of Sunshine my number one candidate would have been Holley Broughton. Sadly, I am too late to create a production with her as the star personifying brightness and light in the world because she lost her battle with ALS on Tuesday. But a battle she put up. Who she was had nothing to do with ALS and she never let us forget that.

I met Holley very soon after Russ and I moved to Durham. My first memory of her was at a party when she came up to me and said, “We are moving to your neighborhood.” Since I was not sure we had met previously I just went along with it. Turns out we had met a lobster night and I am so thankful that she made the connection with me because I quickly recognized her as one of the most fun and positive people I have ever met.

Holley was sparkle and substance. She loved fun, but was also tender. She was spiritual and a good time. Everything about Holley was creative. Holley absolutely had more friends than any human because she was genuinely interested in all people and she met each one with kindness and generosity.

Many years ago she had a girls party at her house. The theme was “high school prom.” That was funny since it was just girls. Some people came in their actual prom dresses. I thought, one – who still has their prom dress and two – who can still fit in it. Well, a couple of people, who took Holley’s theme very seriously. I came in my Lanz nightgown since I went to an all girls boarding school and Prom what not exactly a thing there. Holley embraced my choice as “fabulous.” Because Holley always was affirming everyone else.

Holley and I shared many parallels as we are exactly the same age. When she was in her early twenties she lived in Washington DC at the same time I did. We know our paths must have crossed many times because we haunted the same places in Georgetown at exactly the same time.

She and her husband Paul and four children, George, Penn, Julia and Weezie vacationed many many years at Pawleys Island as my family also lived there and spent many times there.

We have lived in the same neighborhood, belonged to the same clubs and been friends for thirty years. We have played games, cooked and eaten good food, planned and gone to many parties, fundraisers and meetings together. We have handed out ribbons at swim meets together, made flower arrangements, chaired garden club meetings, celebrated birthdays, done arts and crafts and up-cycled all kinds of stuff Holley dragged home.

Holley was a constant in my world. She was best friends with others, but she always made you feel like she adored you just as much. She always greeted me with a “Hi Honey.” I can still hear her saying it even though I have not heard her speak an actual word is almost a year.

When Holley first let us all know she was diagnosed with ALS, she could still speak and eat and walk, but her voice was affected. Holley was a professional talker so this was hard. She didn’t let any grass grow under her feet as she met this diagnosis with same “I can do anything,” attitude. Her positive spirit and generosity helped lead us through dealing with her ultimate demise.

Her will to live was greater than anything I have ever seen. And her gratitude for each day was hard to argue with. If there was a master class for how to exit the world, Holley could teach it.

So even though she prepared us well, the light in the world dimmed when her tiny ravaged body finally gave in and she crossed over into the heaven she believed in.

Holley leaves behind more loved ones and friends than can fill a stadium. My heart is broken for all who knew her, because if you met her you loved her.

Holley instructed us to clap when she left. Just like a star exiting the stage, I clap for her lifelong performance as sunshine embodied. Holley B was a true original and there will never be another. I am so thankful I was lucky enough to have my life touched by her.

Voice Threatening Device

I was gone from 7:45 this morning to 9:45 tonight, teaching in Cary. By the time I got home it was pitch black out. I pulled in the driveway and opened my car door to the worst crying sounds of coyotes. The sound was right at the end of my driveway.

My neighbor had told me she had heard them a couple of weeks ago, then another friend had posted that one came after her while walking her dog early in the morning. She had screamed at it and it did not deter the animal. The sound this animal or animals were making was awful.

So I did what I do best. I screamed. No, I did what Carter calls, “voice threatened them away like the operator on the ADT commercial.” I screamed so loudly and so low it almost scared me.

The crying stopped immediately. I hope I scared the shit of it. I screamed again and again so I could get in the house without it thinking about crossing my path.

You know, with the government we have right now I feel like we have enough to worry about out. Wild animals do not need to become a thing. We will not be letting Shay go outside alone. Not without her “voice threatening companion.”

Sad Day

It’s a sad day. I can’t go into the particulars as it is not my story to tell today, but will be more transparent soon. I just want to say Bye, Bye Miss American Pie. We are all clapping and sending love. I promise to write more tomorrow.

Birthday Month Continues

My friend Shelayne is always good about celebrating my birthday. Today she took me to lunch and gave me a gift. Traveling and teaching keeps me from getting to spend enough time with friends so I appreciate how hard Shelayne works to find a day that both of us are free.

Since she had five grown kids and ten grandchildren 7 and under she is crazy busy too. Thank goodness she retired or I would never see her.

When Russ got home tonight I told him Shelayne gave me an Apron with boobies on it. He was quite excited.

Points For Mother’s Day

Russ and I took my Mom out to a new restaurant for Mother’s Day lunch today. Thankfully Gradutions were taking place during lunch time so we were able to snag a reservation at a new place, TeTaco in downtown Durham.

My Mom is always happy to be taken out to lunch, especially on Sundays so she can eat half her lunch and take the other half home for dinner. When I was away a couple of weeks ago Russ took my Mom to some hole in the wall Mexican place and he thought she liked it. So he suggested this New Mexican place.

It’s not that she likes Mexican so much. She just wants to go anywhere. She made more than one comment that this place was so much nicer than the last place. Russ needs to read the cues, just because she is happy to go out does not mean she liked the place. Thankfully she did like TeTaco.

My favorite thing she said was, “Mother’s Day must be a new thing. I don’t remember ever doing anything for Mother’s Day before.”

She might be right. I don’t think we ever made a big deal about Mother’s Day when I was a kid. I remember other women coming to church with orchid corsages, but none for my my mother.

My Dad always cooked breakfast on weekends so Mother’s Day was no different than any other Sunday. We always brought my mother coffee in bed on everyday, so Mother’s Day was no different. She had us well trained to wait on her on regular days. No wonder she didn’t think it was celebrated. She was smart, get us to do things for her all the time.

Well, now we have messed it up and taken her out on Mother’s Day. Guess I know what we are doing next year.

Graduation Chaos

It’s graduation weekend here in Durham and Chapel Hill. Both UNC and Duke hold graduations this weekend. Why these two schools can’t come together and negotiate holding graduations on different weekends I do not know. To top it all off they are always on Mother’s Day weekend.

This means we have to stay at home and hunker down because the roads, restaurants, hotels, stores, sidewalks, parks and every other inch of our two towns are packed with joyous celebrants.

Thankfully it was a rain free beautiful cool day here today. This helps so much. Sadly the forecast for tomorrow is rain all day so I am unsure if they can even have the big stadium graduations. That is sad, but by the time they get to Sunday morning everyone is partied out and just exhausted. Time to pack it up and go home and celebrate the mothers who made these graduates.

We stayed home all day, gardening and cleaning the furniture on the terrace. I also got in a huge amount of needlepointing.

I am looking forward to the student and parent departures and having Durham quiet for a bit. Congratulations to all the graduates. I hope you all have jobs soon. Welcome to the real world. It’s not half as much fun as college.

Pink Throne

I was cleaning our Pink bath room today. It’s all original to our almost 80 year old house. The grout is original and in perfect condition, the tiles are all perfect. They may not be in style, but it is so well built I hate to change it. When we redid our primary bathroom our contractor told me that he had never seen such a well built bathroom and hated tearing out our old tub because it had an eight inch cement base that he said could hold a tank.

So as I was looking at our pink, low toilet I noticed that the seat could use replacing. I have not begun the search for a new matching one. I just remember our good old plumbers telling me once that we might want to replace the toilet just to get a higher one.

I have never understood why in the world anyone needs to replace the porcelain part of a toilet unless is is cracked or has a hole. How can the porcelain go bad. Yes, the workings inside the tank can need to be replaced or the wax ring, but why the throne?

Now styles change. Like higher and longer toilets now. And then there are the fancy toilets with heated seats and built in washing contraptions. Those are just things that can break. But the basics of a regular toilet should not change.

I am not in the market to change out my pink toilet, only the seat. As far as flushing goes it works great. It is basically over a hundred year old technology and I don’t anticipate getting what goes in it out of the house in a new and different way in my lifetime. If it ain’t broke…

Pope Leo

While I was in the middle of my last day of teaching the fabulous ladies in Wilmington my wrist started buzzing and my phone was blowing up. A new Pope had been elected…An American!

My Dickinson Book club group was weighing in. Rose, the catholic among us reported that newly renamed Pope Leo had gone to Villanova in Philly, where her boy friend is a professor. I was getting insights from one’s who know.

It is quite exciting to be alive when the first American Pope was elected. Especially since it happened fairly quickly in terms of Vatican voting. The reports that I got from the insiders is he is a social justice guy. Feels good to me to help right some of the social disorder coming from this part of the world.

I feel like perhaps it is a divine hand of God saying, “Hold on now.” This gives this old Presbyterian great hope. God bless Pope Leo.

Wilmington is Tops

I love coming to a new club and blowing a whole new group of women’s minds by showing them new ways to think about Mah Jongg. These women in Wilmington are just a really fun group and I have been having a blast with them. Thanks to Margaret Robinson for keeping after me to come here.

This afternoon after class I returned to Jon and Lane’s house and met Jon’s friend from college, Tim and his husband Daryl who are visiting from Hawaii. I got to hear all about Jon in College. We went to a great seafood restaurant and then to Jon’s favorite ice cream spot. Where is Lane when ice cream is on the agenda?

My time in Wilmington has been jammed packed. Classes tomorrow and then I drive home to be with Russ and Shay. Need to rest up for one more big day tomorrow.