It’s No Wonder We are Friends

Today was about the most perfect day. Suzanne and I played Siamese Mah Jongg most of the day. When we weren’t we were taking the dogs out or cooking dinner. Suzanne has become a very good player since she first learned in earnest in January at High Hampton. I am so proud of her strategy and her ability to see different options.

Half way through the day the game mat I ordered for her arrived so we had a softer surface to play on. Suzanne also made everything very comfy for Shay and brought Esme’s bed out to the living room so she could snuggle while we played.

After dinner we had to switch to Catan so that Oliver could play with us. It was Oliver and his brother Jack who introduced me to Catan, my other favorite game. I do play it everyday on my iPad, which gave me an unfair advantage tonight.

We had a great game and will continue tomorrow and probably Friday too. There is nothing better than having great friends who are also great game lovers. I imagine this is what it will be like when I go to a retirement community. It would be best if Suzanne and I went together since Russ does not love games.

All the Farley Kids and Carter and Claire can come visit us and we can play big tournaments. It sounds like heaven on earth. A lot like it is staying here with Suzanne.

Convergence for Mah Jongg

Suzanne, Janet and I became the best of friends in college. Now Janet lives in Arizona and Suzanne Lives in New Hampshire and I live in North Carolina so getting together is deliberate and takes planning. So when the stars aligned today that I was driving north from Boston and Janet was in Manchester by the sea and Suzanne was in New Hampshire we were all able to come together in the same place to play Mah Jongg.

I have played the longest, but Janet has been at it a while and now we have Suzanne hooked. All I have to say is if we had played Mah Jongg in college we might not have graduated, or at least I would not have. Then again I might have stayed out of other trouble which shall not be named.

But if I had played mah Jongg in college I might have started teaching it earlier and could have started this whole mah Jongg craze a lot earlier.

I am just happy that Janet, Suzanne and I have found ways to be together and play because we all know that when you are playing mah Jongg you are happy and all the other crap in the world does not exist.

Happy friends playing together!

Last Night at Carter and Claire’s

Tonight Carter and Claire invited our friend Kelsey over for dinner. Kelsey is my friend Ruth E.’s daughter-in-law who I met teaching her Mah Jongg a few years ago and adored right from the start.

Kelsey invited me to come teach her group in Fort Worth Advanced mah Jongg and they were such a great group of ladies. When Kelsey’s husband got transferred to Boston, Ruth E. asked me if Carter would meet Kelsey.

They did meet and hit it off and have been friends ever since. So it seemed like the perfect thing to have Kelsey come for dinner while I was here. Sadly her husband was in North Carolina, but for their first dinner guest it seemed like a good idea to only have four of us.

It was so fun to spend time with young people even if I have never watched Love Island and probably won’t. But it has been great to spend so much time with Carter and Claire together and the bonus tonight was Kelsey.

I’m off to New Hampshire tomorrow. Slowly inching my way closer to Maine.

Shopping Fun

Had the most fun day with my girls Carter and Claire. They have done such a wonderful job outfitting their house. You would have thought they had lived here for years, not days. They still had a few tiny needs so we went on big shopping expedition. We took the dogs who were welcomed in every store as royalty. Store workers in each place game them treats, and water and acted as if they each carried platinum cards.

We were on the hunt for chairs for the living room and out door tables for the porch. We found chairs, but not tables. The big get was at the Le Creuset outlet. Carter’s godmother had given them a very generous gift card a couple of months ago. So today was the perfect day for them to spend it as it was tax free weekend and the outlet was having a big sale.

We had three sales people helping and they offered me a job as I was advising the girls to always buy the bigger pot or pan since you can cook a small amount in a bigger pan, but not a bigger amount in the smaller pan.

The manager told them that it was not a game show, and they did not have to spend the whole gift card at once, but amazingly they spent almost exactly what they were given, only shelling out $2.23 of their own money.

They took everything out of the boxes at home and Carter styled it so show Suzanne. I thought they should show le Crueset. They will have these pieces their whole lives. Good thing since they won’t be getting my 40 year old pieces for at least 20 more years.

We Made It

Shay and I had a fast short trip this morning to get to Carter and Claire’s new house. It was so exciting to finally get to see them. I adore their house and their wonderful neighborhood. Carter and Claire have met almost everyone on their street and they have been so welcoming to them.

After my extensive tour of every inch of their house we took the dogs on a short walk to go see Carter’s community garden plot round the corner. I am quite jealous of her tomatoes.

We hung at home and then went to the south end for dinner at a new hot spot Capri. Thank goodness everyone wanted to share because that way I was able to taste lots of different things. It was a big hit and we are going to have to take Russ there.

Shay and Norman held down the house while we were gone and nothing was out of place when we got home. Tomorrow we will go shopping. I love being with my girls.

Little Brown Dog Goes on the Road

I was worried all day yesterday. My Mom and Dad both kept taking things to the car. Laundry baskets, tote bags full of shoes, books, pillows, but the thing that worried me the most was a bag of my toys. Where were they taking my blue baby?

So this morning when Mom’s alarm went off at 5:15 I got right up so I could make sure no one was sneaking out of the house without me. Turns out I was going in the car all along, but it was not until we got on the highway that I realized Daddy was not with us.

Mommy was listening to a book on tape so I just snuggled down in my big car seat and listened too. Mommy told me we were going to drive like 10 hours to get very close to Carter’s so that tomorrow we could get up and go see her right away.

I was such a good girl. No crying or shivering on the whole drive. We stopped north of Baltimore and I went potty and Mommy bought me some chicken. I didn’t eat it until we stopped at our hotel for the night.

Since I was so cute at check in Mommy was given a goody bag as VIP of the day. Sometimes it pays to bring a cute little brown dog with you.

The Rise of Traveling Laundry Baskets

Years ago when I first started taking road trips north I started packing in Laundry Baskets. I found it so much easier when making stops at various places along the way got just have one toiletry bag and then I would pull out the clothes I needed for that day or two at each stop. So much easier than carrying in a whole suitcase for one night.

Russ embraced the laundry basket travel mode. It makes carrying clothes so much easier and they fit perfectly in the way back of the car.

I mentioned this mode of “stuff management” this week when I was visiting my friend Annette and she said she too packed in laundry baskets. As did Charlotte who was over for dinner.

So it appears that the chic way to pack for car travel is in laundry baskets. I am sure than any hour now Louis Vuitton will come out will its own signature laundry basket at only $4,400. It should be cheaper than a suitcase as no wheels, zippers or compartments are needed, but it will be just as much as a suit case since it will be the new hip thing. You really need at least a set of two and they do nest nicely.

Mark my words,you read it here first. Designer laundry baskets for travel. I guess you can use them for laundry at home too when you aren’t on the road.

Twinning at Mah Jongg Class

We are a long way from Junior High school. I promise that my students and I are not calling each other to ask what we are wearing to class,but…

One of my best beach buddies Maria, who has the best wardrobe, showed up today in class in a dress that coordinated perfectly with mine. Of course I loved hers more. I feel like she has spent enough time with me that now we are thinking alike. At least we did when we got dressed today.

Of course I didn’t have any other choice because that was the dress I brought with me. So i guess the twinning is all up to Maria who had a giant closet worth of fabulous dresses to chose from and through some mind meld picked the one that worked perfectly with mine without knowing what I was going to wear.

I know she does not care to match me, except in mah Jongg. So Maria, I hope that the mind meld will carry over into your game.

Never Too Young

You are never too young to fall in love with Mah Jongg. Just like you are also never too old. Today I had my youngest student ever in my class, Collins. Only six months old, but clearly enthralled with the tiles.

Collins was a most attentive student. Only voicing an opinion on the very worst hands and celebrating appropriately on the wins. She paid rapt attention to each movement of the tile and clearly liked Dragons more than winds.

It helped that Collins snuggled with me while her mother beat me. Collins was very proud of her mother for taking me down. I was great with that because I got to snuggle with Collins.

My prediction is she will be a very good Mah jongg player.

Perfect Beaufort

My final class for the summer semester starts tomorrow at Coral Bay. Since it is a short two day Strategy class I came down early to stay with my Friend A. in Beaufort. Of all the places on the coast of North Carolina Beaufort is my favorite. Sorry AB.

My Hostess A. Does not appear on the Internet, but does show up big time as a friend. Tonight she invited two other friends, Charlotte and Elizabeth Townsend to come have dinner with us. Elizabeth and her husband Doug used to live down the street from me in Durham so it is always great to catch up. Doug wasn’t invited for dinner but he came by to see me just the same, which was a treat for me. Christine brought a bag of books so I have plenty to read in Maine.

Annette designed a fabulous menu and I got to teach her how to chop different vegetables. We had a most YUMMY salad I want to memorialize here because I want to make it in Maine.

It was thinly slicked raw zucchini, thinly sliced fennel, arugula, peas, mint, feta and champagne vinaigrette. It was fabulous, but would also be good with Ricotta salta or pecorino. A. had made some perfect shrimp with cocktail sauce and we had a crab cake as well. What a dinner. Between the food and the company everything was perfect. Just like Beaufort.

Chew or Swallow?

I met up with my friend Jan for brunch today. We have had a summer of not seeing each other much with her in the mountains and me at the beach teaching. With trips in opposite directions on the horizon we realized that today was our one overlap day.

Russ had so much work all weekend so Jan and I took the rare opportunity to leave our husbands at home and go out. She suggested a place in Governor’s Village called Flair. Since it is a bit away from me I had never been. I looked at the menu and thought it seemed just fine, but Jan told me she had the best goat cheese salad there she had ever had so I was in.

The place is so cute. It has the most glorious plants that turn a strip mall location into an oasis. The weather was perfect so we ate outside.

As we discussed our trips, our need to get our prescriptions refilled early and the nightmare that causes along we touched on the various ways we sort our pills. Jan is a trained pharmacist and so she always is imparting valuable wisdom to me. I mentioned that I have no trouble swallowing big pills that are oblong, but I hate big pills that are round.

Jan told me that round usually means they are chewable. WHAT? How could this important bit of information get by me until today. I looked at my selenium bottle and it does not say chewable, but it does have an outline of the size of the pill on the bottle. Is this a warning? Like, “Hey if you have trouble swallowing round pills this is going to be your nightmare.” The quarter is just for size comparison.

I don’t exactly love chewing pills, but if I am supposed to do it I will comply. Now I do not know the answer with this one. It is big enough for it to make sense that it should be chewed because swallowing it is hard, but it does not say chewable on it.

I am certain that I could find the answer, but for now I want to know, “Am I the only one who did not know that round meant chewable and all the other shapes meant swallowable?”

What Have I been doing For the Last Nine Months? No It’s Not My Hair

This blog started as my accountability when I did a weight loss challenge for myself to lose weight and raise money for the Food Bank of Central and eastern North Carolina. As I said then, I am not good at losing weight for myself, but if it will help others that will help me.

I was very successful. I lost a lot of weight and raised a lot of money. But as a person with life long weight issues I eventually gained most, but not all of it back. That was all before I hit menopause.

Once I crossed over I tried to lose the weight again, with very little success. I knew how to do it with my pre-Menopausal body, but post…well that was another story. I also discovered I had an auto immune disease so let’s add that to my issues.

Last November my Doctor told me I qualified for Ozempic. So I started on it and it has been life changing. I am the person it was made for. Apparently if you produce GLP-1 naturally you don’t think about food all he time. This explains why my skinny friends would say things like, “I forgot to eat lunch.” This was very foreign to me.

I am very lucky. I have no side affects from taking this shot. It not only helps me feel full on smaller amounts of food, it quiets the food noise in my brain to a whisper or less. I really no longer think about food and have no cravings.

So far I have lost 82 pounds. Skinny friends say, “you must feel so much better.” I felt fine before, and I still feel fine. I have not reported this on this blog until now, although I have not been hiding it. I am tired of having people tell me my hair looks so much better with my new hairdo. That’s when I tell them that absolutely nothing has changed about my hair, it’s my weight. Losing weight this way is nothing to be commended for, like the hard work I did last time. The drug is miraculous and I am thankful for it.

The one thing I have tried to do is eat enough protein. When you don’t eat much, you need to pick what you do eat carefully. Basically I eat protein, fruits and vegetables and nuts. Getting enough protein is the most important so I don’t lose muscle.

My friend Kristi gave me a Fairlife Protein drink at her house at the beach. It had 30 grams of protein. It was great. She told me they also made one that was 42 grams of protein. I had been unable to find them, but my friend Sara did on Amazon so we split a case.

Tonight I made a blueberry milkshake with half a bottle of Fairlife, a handful of fresh blueberries and some crushed ice that I ran thought the blender. YUMMY and the cup I made was 21 grams of protein. I am going to try and make one with a peach for breakfast soon.

I still have more weight to lose, but I am very happy with my progress and plan on sticking to this for he foreseeable future. So if you see me, don’t mention my hair. It’s still as tragic as ever.

Happy International Mah Jongg Day

Who knew this day existed, but it is not surprising. I might call this the year of Mah Jongg. I have been lucky enough to ride this wave for a long time.

There are more and more people playing and more and more people teaching them how to play. It is just spreading joy in the world.

Lord knows we need a good distraction from the self made nightmares certain deranged elected officials, both here and abroad are committing. Firing federal workers who put out economic data from the Bureau of Labor and Statistics because you don’t like the truth is just small and makes said official look even more petty than he already is.

The facts are the facts. Ask any number of recent college graduates what percentage of their classmates have jobs. It’s horrible and tariffs are ruining the world economy.

Children are starving in Gaza and I am having a hard time reconciling the treatment of them by people who said never again. If we had more women in charge these things would be different.

In the meantime,grab some tiles and distract yourself for a bit, but not too long. We need all the smart women to change the world back to a place of sanity and peace and get rid of childish officials.

Mah Jongg Clothing I Didn’t Know Existed

Today was the last day in a three class series. I had a fabulous group of beginners who are now mah Jongg graduates. My beyond beginner group was so much fun. Four ladies who were new students to me were in the class. The first day Terri showed up in a pickleball and mah Jongg together shirt. Yesterday she had a joker tile shirt. And today’s shirts took the cake.

“Draw, Discard, Swear, Repeat.”

We all agreed the Swear should have been in the second position, or we would add an additional swear after Draw.

Clearly I have never explored the Mah Jongg Clothing line. Terri said she is addicted to both Pickleball and Mah Jongg and that is all she does. Her clothing clearly reflects that.

I love me some dedicated Mah Jongg Students.

Getting Old Sucks

Life is not fair to old ladies. At some point you might start leaking. That is what has happened to the little brown old ladies that lives at our house. Sometimes she can’t be bothered to wake up in the night and tell us she might need to go outside.

Her doctor gave her some pills to help this, but they just don’t always work. So now this little brown old lady has to wear a diaper to go to bed. What a good sport she is. She does not complain about it. She is happy to just get to go to sleep and not be bothered.

This diaper situation has made her people so much happier. There is no disappointment in the morning. Everyone is happy. Diapers aren’t that bad, especially since they just get thrown in the washer.

Getting old sucks, but staying dry makes it better.

Happy Birthday Smartie

Seventeen years ago today Russ bought his little Smart Convertible. A few years before we were at the Paris Car show and we were able to test drive one because they wanted Americans to buy them. Russ loved it. Amazingly his 6’5” frame fit perfectly in the tiny car and my oh so large body did too, thanks to the seats being slightly offset from each other.

Russ waited patiently for the Smart to eventually come to America and bought the first one in the state of North Carolina. The Mercedes dealer in Cary sold the Smarts. Why I will never know, but we still take it there to be serviced.

Carter loved the Smart and was very excited to see it the day we went to pick it up. Russ drives it still and I am sure keep it as long as it runs. So Happy Birthday to our little Smart car. We certainly have gotten our money’s worth out of it.

A Facebook Rabbit Hole

As a Mah Jongg teacher I get so many Mah Jongg Facebook and instagram posts. I try and ignore most of them unless they are from one of my students. But after teaching over 27,000 people over three decades I just don’t remember all their names. Sometimes I read something because I think it is from someone I taught. Then I get sucked in and discover I never taught this person. I can always tell because I teach differently from the majority of other people who “teach” Mah Jongg.

Here was today’s rabbit hole I never should have gotten into. Someone asked “Why do you do the 2nd Charleston? We don’t. It seems Unnecessary. What am I missing?”

I responded that I know exactly why she is asking this, and offered my beyond beginner class. I did not explain why I know and how I would help because that is what my whole business is.

She was not interested, not that I was really thinking she would be, based on her comments. But I always like to learn what issues people are having with Mah Jongg because knowing that helps me develop new curriculum and ways of teaching.

What I didn’t tell this person is I can tell she was taught incorrectly right from the start. And based on all the other responders to her post, so were they.

If you want to learn mah jongg make sure it is from someone who is interested in strategy and can talk with you about the game in a deeper way than just the rules. Mah Jongg is a game of many rules and half as many exceptions, so those are important, but someone needs to be able to explain why you need to do things a certain way.

This Face Book poster who stops the Charleston probably decides what hand she is going to play based on the tiles she is dealt. That is a very novice way to play. Most people never get past the novice stage and they don’t even know it.

If you want to know more, or feel like you are a novice and would like to be more than a novice, come to my Beyond Beginner Class. Www.learnmahjongg.com

So many people stop the Charleston and they are missing out on improving their hand. Don’t stop the Charleston!

Not Fitting Behavior for an Old Lady

Last night we went to the baseball game leaving Shay home alone. She is a 14 year old dog who has spent plenty of time at home alone. For the most part she is very well behaved. We went with our friends whose animals are not always as well behaved and there is always talk about having to get home to see if the house is still standing.

Well, last night their animals were angels, but we came home to a brown little puppy covered in fluff. At first I thought Shay had just destroyed one of her fur babies and the fluff that was all over her was fake fur. But then I noticed foam all over the hallway and up the stairs into the next hallway and then into the guest room.

Russ had taken the sheets off the guest room bed and put them in the wash leaving the foam mattress pad exposed. Shay had gone in and destroyed the foam mattress pad. We are not exactly sure why, but she was quite proud of herself until we told her otherwise.

It just is not becoming for an old ladies like Shay to throw such a temper tantrum.

Durham and the Bulls for the Win

Lynn and Logan wanted to go to the Bulls so off we went tonight. It’s terrible we don’t go more as season ticket holders since the start. It was hot, but we were in the shade.

The national anthem was sung by a children’s choir from a local church. There must have been at least 40 of them. Boys in matching striped shirts with jeans (heavens to betsy jeans in 95° weather) and the girls in blue and white matching dresses with white bows in their hair.

They were a multicultural crowd of children of every color of the rainbow and they strongly sang the national anthem proudly. My first thought was I pray ICE was not in the house. My second was, this is exactly what American should stand for. The proudest Americans are the newest Americans. People work so hard to become American, or they used too, because they saw this as a land of opportunity. Not a place that snatches up people off the street based on their skin color and drags them to a dangerous concentration camp.

I hope that Durham continues to be a place where young children can feel safe, no matter how long their people have been here.

The kids stayed and watched the game which was very exciting. The Bulls won with three single home runs, locking out the jumbo shrimp of Jacksonville. Durham wins not just in Baseball, but in compassion.

Good Barter

Eight classes this week. Six at the beach, one in Raleigh, last one tonight in Durham. I am wiped. But the Durham’s class had a bunch of people I really like in it and some I just met. I’m sure I will like them too.

One of the young members of the class really wanted to learn mah Jongg. She is a baker and so she asked me if I would be willing to receive baked goods as a barter for the class. How could I turn down a young person offering baked goods?

I left it up to her what she might bring me. Well, it was a very nice large tray, (which she also gave me) of focaccia, bread, cookies and mixed berry crostatas. Russ is very excited for breakfast. The cookies have already gone in the freezer. If you come to visit me you might get one. She also brought cookies to the class.

I get one day of rest tomorrow, thank goodness and then Sunday I start up with eight classes next week. More than I like in a week, especially two weeks in a row, but since I am leaving for Maine and will be off for over five weeks I let people talk me into extra classes.

Student Endorsement Joy

I am a student of all the different ways people learn. I am always trying to improve my teaching by coming up with the most efficient ways to teach. I am not a student of the way other people teach, but I learn from my students how they have been taught so I have gained a lot of insight in the ways other’s do it.

I had a wonderful group of women in my beyond beginner class this week at Coral Bay. About half of them had learned Mah Jongg from the start from me and the other half had learned from other people, but wanted to further their education.

I asked those students new to me to try and set their tiles up in a different way from the way they were taught. I explained my reasoning. I got a little push back as they said their “Teacher” had told them to do it this way. I asked them to try it my way just for these three days.

Today one of those new to me students came into class early to tell me a story. She said she went home the first day after class, not convinced I was right and wanting to get evidence that they way she was taught was the best way. She researched all the other mah Jongg teachers she could find and all of them except for one taught the way she first learned. Ah ha! She was right, but she didn’t tell me that the second day.

She came to class. We practiced what I taught and we won every game. So she went home from the class and decided to practice online. She told me she never plays against the computer because she says you can never beat the computer, but she saw us beat the computer every time that day. So she gave it to me try. She won 8 out of ten games, something that she had never even come close to before when she set up the tiles the way she was taught.

It only took two days with me and she was a convert to my method. Now she could see many new and better possibilities.

It made my heart so happy that she was so skeptical, but was willing to try a new way and found success so quickly.

I told her, most people who teach mah Jongg don’t study how people think, they way I do. Just teaching people the rules does not make learning this game fun. You have to help people learn to see possibilities and weigh the options in ways that work for their brains.

I am constantly changing the way I teach and coming up with improvements. You might think you know how to play mah jongg, but I teach you how to win mah jongg.

Mah Jongg Marathon

After teaching Mah Jongg all day and then coming back to Jill’s house what do you think we should do? Well invite Mary Jo to come over and play Mah a Jongg. Only take a break to eat a yummy low country boil dinner and get right back to mah Jongg.

Do I have time to write a blog. No way. It’s been a big day of Mah Jongg. I did get to have lunch with Charlotte between my classes, but we had a hard time finishing our conversation because at least 20 women came in to have lunch who I needed to hug and say hi too as they all were past students.

Charlotte was a good sport about all that. I am running out of people at the coral Bay Club who don’t know how to play Mah Jongg yet. But I did talk to them about a new idea for next summer. More info to come on that later.

Now I need to pass out so I can finish these last classes strong tomorrow.

The Friend of My Friend is My Friend

So far that phrase has held true almost 100% of the time. The friend of my friend is my friend.

If you are my friend it means I like you and usually that I trust you. Liking someone is fairly easy, but trusting someone is a bigger step. Trust is more important to me.

I honestly think I trust all of my friends. If I don’t trust someone I usually don’t like them much either and there is nowhere to go with me if those two factors don’t exist.

Figuring out if you like someone can take time and trust even longer. But there is a short cut. If you start with someone new, who is already the friend of someone else you like and trust then it’s like having a reference for them as a friend. So you can get to like and trust them twice as fast.

Tonight I am at the beach staying with my friend Jill. Our friends Martha and Bit could not be with us this week. We had so much fun being together last year so that is sad. So Jill invited her very dear friend Annette to visit during my visit. I quickly discovered she is so fun. And it was a short cut to liking her because she is Jill’s great friend and I adore Jill.

I can remember in grammar school when I had a friend who had another good friend who went to a different school. My friend talked about her all the time and I was a little jealous. Then I met her friend and I liked her, and the three of us became friends together.

My original friend said, “You guys really became good friends quickly.” In a kind of snarky way. I remember it like it was yesterday because I told her, “If she’s good enough for you she’s good enough for me.” And then she said, “I just want you both to still like me.” Oh Youth. It takes a long time to realize you can have more than one friend. And having a new one does nothing to diminish the old one.

Friends are like love. There is always the capacity to have more. So sharing your friends with each other is a joy. Thanks Jill, sharing Annette with me. It’s always great to meet a new friend.

How Can Jane be 70?

My darling friend Jane has her big birthday tomorrow. I was so lucky to be able to come to Kinston to celebrate with her and see my Kinston Friends. So I made a big day of it.

I brought my car into Massey to get serviced so it is ready to go to Maine. I can’t say it enough that they are the best car dealership in America. I talked to Mike Martin while I waited for my car, which made the time fly by.

I drove by Chick-fil-A to get some chicken and my friend Kristi was next to me. “I thought you were in Bermuda,” I said. She had just gotten back. Then I went to Walgreens and drove right past my friend Becky, but she didn’t see me. I love a small town. I saw more people I knew in 45 minutes just driving around.

I went to Debbie and Paul’s house where I am staying tonight and rested a little before Debbie and I went to Francis’s House to swim and celebrate Jane. It was a perfect day, but much too fast.

I didn’t get to play Mah Jongg with Paul, so I am just going to have to come back.

The best part is I got celebrate Jane’s big birthday, even if it was a day before her actual day. Sadly I did not see her husband Warren. Next trip. I will always be coming back to Kinston. I just love all my friends here.

Be Like Stephen Corbett

The canceling of Stephen Corbett’s show has been very upsetting to me. When a voice who speaks truth to power is silenced we are in trouble. I consider Stephen Colbertt a modern day prophet. He points out the injustices and calls out the evil in ways we can handle, through humor. Without prophets the only voices we hear are of the evil doers.

Today in church we read a declaration of faith that was written in the Presbyterian church in the late sixties, another troubled time and approved in the early 70’s and as all things in the Presbyterian church moved slowly through committee for adoption in 1977.

This one part of it spoke very loudly to me:

Good people of conscience need to continue to speak out against the ones who oppress the poor and and want us to worship them. We must listen to the prophets who call out the evil doers and not become complacent because we ourselves are comfortable.

We know right from wrong, but can not turn a blind eye to the wrong doers. They might try and take Steven Corbett’s show on one channel, but he does not have to be silenced everywhere. And when he can’t speak, it is time for us all to speak up as he would also do.

You can become a prophet too. Speak truth to power. Do not be afraid. Follow God’s hardest commandment to love your neighbor. And if you didn’t know, everyone is your neighbor.

Dreams Do Come True

I know I’ve told this story before, but now it has a happy ending. When Carter was about 4 years old, Russ was off on a long business trip so Carter and I spent all our time together. One night we went to the mall for dinner. We parked by Sears and walked in the store through the appliance department to get to the restaurant inside the mall.

On our walk back through the totally customer empty Sears after dinner we lingered by a cherry red washer dryer set. They were a first for colors in white goods since the fifties. Carter stood, mouth open staring at the magnificent pair. A bored salesman with no other prospects approached us to gage our interest in purchasing said machines. Before I could respond to his inquires Carter responded wistfully for us, “We are just dreaming.”

I am certain the appliance salesman thought I was a single mother living in a trailer and that we had no washer and dryer, the way that Carter responded, like a child used to poverty. Why else would a child be dreaming about appliances?

Russ asked ChatGPT to make a drawing of the scene. His favorite pastime this week.

Fast forward 22 years and Carter and Claire purchased their own Navy Blue Washer and Dryer set. Carter’s dream has finally come true. I wish that Sears guy had been the one to sell it to her because he had to have a little soft spot for the little girl who dreamed about getting a new washer.

Congratulations Carter and Claire. Now go wash some clothes.

Love of Trader Joe’s

Two weeks ago there was a terrible tropical storm that dropped over 8 inches of rain in Chapel Hill in a day. The shopping center where my Trader Joe’s is was flooded. The location has a history of being flooded, but this flood was by far the worst.

Every store and restaurant was devastated. So many were small locally owned businesses. The losses were crushing. I hope that they had flood insurance and that they can all recover.

Trader Joe’s, although not a mom and Pop, has a very loyal group of employees who have been there for a decade or more. The loss of Trader Joe’s for me is sad, not devastating, unless it never comes back.

Today I was teaching a private mah Jongg lesson in Raleigh. When it was over I ran by the Raleigh Trader Joe’s to pick up some of our favorites. While I was rolling my cart through the aisles looking for the Dark French roast coffee Russ likes I saw one of the guys from my Trader Joe’s. Then I saw a gal from my Trader Joe’s. I approached her and gave her my condolences. We don’t know each other, but she said she recognized me as one of her customers from Chapel Hill.

She told me the good news is they are rehabbing the store right now and hopes for it to be open in a few weeks. Hooray! I was so worried that everything would be shut down permanently. We need a Trader Joe’s near by.

Figure 8 was Just Great

I just returned home from three great days teaching at the Figure 8 Island yacht Club. It was a perfectly wonderful three days of classes with so many fabulous women. This was my second summer there and it was even better than last year.

I am not exactly sure how I lucked into this career, but I am so thankful that at this late stage of life this is what I get to do. Teaching mah Jongg is part stand up, part story teller, and part bossy older sister.

As much as I love teaching beginners, that is easy. Teaching people rules is fine. Lots of people do it just fine.

Teaching the Beyond the beginner class is not a class that I have found anyone else does, certainly not the way I do it. Beyond beginner is teaching people how to think and strategy and it is as much fun for me as it is for the students. At least they tell me it’s fun and they come back again and again as every class is different.

Thanks Figure 8 Ladies for being such a great group. I look forward to our paths crossing again.

Games with Lane

You would think that I would have enough of games after teaching 6 hours of mah Jongg today, but nooo. I am staying at my friend’s Lane and Jon’s house while I am teaching at figure 8. Jon is always kind enough to let me stay as he is usually the one who is here when I am. Last night we went out to dinner at a real restaurant, where he wore a collared shirt. If you know him, you know.

Today Lane made a special trip to come down to the coast early so we could actually see each other. I love Jon, but I really miss Lane when she is not here. We have been friends for 30 years.

We went out to a great Asian restaurant on the early side so that gave Lane and I a bunch of time to come back to the house and play Rummy cube. Lane is most excellent at it.

She jokingly told me that she went in a shop in Raleigh this week and the sweet woman who owns it, and had taken mah Jongg from me, said “you are famous because you are friends with Dana.” Lane laughingly told me her reply was, “Yes, but I have been friends with her before she became the mah Jongg guru.”

I so cherish my dear friend Lane and all our years together. There is nothing better than friends who you can just hang with. And play games.

Who is Keeping an Eye on Ghislaine?

Oh my, 47 is not happy about all this Epstein talk. When he comes out and says, “Stop talking about Epstein.” You know that is all anyone wants to talk about, unless you are some lapdog.

So maybe the DOJ Barbie might destroy evidence, wouldn’t put it past her. She seems to lick the right things for her boss (sorry if that was too graphic.)

So here is my one thought on this whole thing. There is one person alive who seems to know a lot of the particulars on this whole story and that Ghislaine. Since she is stuck in jail with apparently nothing left to lose she could blow this whole thing up and tell everything she knows. I am certain those who don’t want anyone to know, know this.

So my question is who is making sure Ghislaine is not off’d in jail? Chances are high that Epstein did not kill himself. If anything happens to her, mark my words, it is a sure sign that everyone we think is guilty is and they did her in. Just sayin’. ..

A Rare Weekend Mah Jongg Class in Durham

A friend from church got mah Jongg as her birthday present. That means she has to learn how to play. When she contacted me about getting in a class it became apparent that none of the scheduled classes would fit in her calendar. So I offered a rare weekend and she took me up on it. Since she does not have a full class of friends to join her I am opening up this class to others.

If you want to learn beginner Mah Jongg I have some space in this class which will be held Friday, July 25 6:30-9:30PM, Sunday, July 27 2-5 PM, and Monday, July 28 6:30-9:30. If you are interested contact me or to learn more visit my website www.learnmahjongg.com

Sometimes short notice is the best notice because you know now if you are free those days or not.

I Stand with Rosie

When I woke up this morning to the news that 47 wants to revoke Rosie O’Donnell’s citizenship, I knew that meant he was trying to keep our eye off something else stupid. That and he likes to float crazy ideas out there to see how much he can get away with.

Well, this is just too far. Rosie O’Donnell was born in America to American citizens. Nothing 47 can do about that. I met Rosie O’Donnell when she was RoseAnn O’Donnell. I was a sophomore at Dickinson college and she was a freshman. One of my sorority sisters, Lori Edwards came to a sister’s meeting and said, “I am directing one of the freshman plays this year and you need to come see this Rose Ann O’Donnell. She is amazing.” So I did. And she was. Sadly, Carlisle, Pa. was too far from any comedy club so she transferred to BU and the rest is history.

So my brush with Rosie is an aside, I have followed her career because of it. The one thing I know is Rosie is a match for 47. She has scrambled with him for years. She at least has honesty on her side and as far as I can tell, she is showing no signs of dementia.

The whole premise that 47 thinks he can take away citizenship is ridiculous, but it makes us look at that and not what the hell is going on with the Epstein client list, or the fact that FEMA did not answer 2/3’s of the call from the Texas disaster because ICE Barbie did not bother to renew the contract for the call center.

Tarriffs are killing our businesses, ICE is taking children off the streets and handcuffing them and marching them in lines, tethered to a chain, into detention, and allegedly Department of Justice has lied to so many federal judges and those judges have the evidence.

The lawsuits for all the illegality that ICE is doing will eventually start pouring in and it will take years, but we the taxpayers will have to pay the damages for all this. 47 will be dead by the time that happens, but it started with him.

We can not sit idly by and let our government set up concentration camps in Florida. That is what they are. Speak out. Demand our legislators to follow the law or vote them out. If 47 can try and take citizenship away from Rosie O’Donnell he can do it to you. And if you let him do it once, it will be too late to do anything about it for the future.

America belongs to the people, not the President.

My Boring Life Continues

I set aside time around the forth of July to get some much needed projects done around the house. That time is coming to an end and I feel like I was only about 30% productive. I did finish my third needlepoint seat and took it to the upholster to finish. I have not yet drawn my final chair seat, opting to work on some small ornaments for a change.

After coming home from the farmer’s market I decided to try and make more progress cleaning out my closet. I started with shoes a couple weeks ago. I did some of the hanging clothes last week, but not all. I also worked on folded pants last week. Today I cleaned out the wire drawers.

I came across some bathing suits, which have to be twenty years old, whose elastic has given way. I found a T-shirts from the inaugural Turkey trot Hannah started at DA in 2014. I unearthed a night gown I must have worn when Carter was a baby. Why these things were still in my closet goes to fact that once something goes in a drawer it rarely goes out.

I did add some labels so I will know what is in these drawers despite the fact that I can actually see everything through the wires. I have another large bag to donate and another to recycle.

It feels great to get this job behind me. I am a creature of habit. I think I found a dozen pairs of jeans all more or less the same profile, but in three sizes. (This after I already purged four sizes.) Hopefully two of those sizes I won’t need, but that will take a few more months.

It was a boring job, but glad that part is behind me. I still need to finish the hanging clothes. Maybe tomorrow. It’s boring, but great to get it off my never ending list.

Are They Really a Mah Jongg Teacher?

I recently had a student who took a class at a local spot. According to the student, the “teacher” had only recently learned to play mah Jongg herself and decided to open a mah Jongg business. I just love how much mah Jongg has taken off. I love that people love it so much they want to share it with others. What I don’t love is that people who don’t really know everything about the game are charging others to “teach” them.

The new-to-me student told me how frustrating it was in her other class because the “teacher” didn’t teach her, or the other members of the class. Instead they just dealt the tiles out and started playing. When asked about rules, the explanations were haphazard and the teacher told then,”she doesn’t want people to be too bothered by rules, but just have fun.”

If you come to a class you should be taught in an organized way all the rules as well as the strategy. Someone who is more interested in selling you things or has only been playing mah Jongg less than a few years may not really be a teacher.

It frustrates me that these disorganized teachers ruin the Mah Jongg well, because so many people go to the “class” and give up because the game is too complicated to not be taught in a precise way.

If you “learned” mah Jongg by sitting next to someone who was playing or from a class that felt disorganized I am happy to take you on a more deliberate journey to really love and understand this game.

I have a beyond beginner class at Home for Entertaining in Cary in July that can help you learn how to “think” like a mah Jongg pro and fill in your missing knowledge you might not even know is missing.

Before you sign up for a mah Jongg class find out how long and how many other students your teacher has taught. I have been doing it 27 years to over 25,000 students. I can tell you the way I teach mah Jongg has greatly evolved over the years. Understanding all the different ways people learn is key to being able to make sure every student goes away knowing how to play.

You just can’t go around a table and tell people what tile to play. You have to explain the why so people can learn. I know mah Jongg is at a craze point right now. Many retailers find holding mah Jongg events at their stores is a great way to get customers in. An event is not always a class and the person running it may not be anything close to a teacher. Go in knowing the difference.

If you want to take classes with me visit my website www.learnmahjongg.com. to find where I will be teaching. If I am not teaching near you, contact me about setting up a class. Beginner classes are for people who want to learn the rules and how to play the game. If you think you know how to play the Beyond Beginner class is the most fun way to get to be a better player. Mah Jongg is a great lifetime game. Learn responsibly. You will love it so much more if you are taught correctly from the start.

Creating Day

I got tired of organizing my office. I have barley made a dent thanks to getting tied up reading old files of awards Carter received and letters from friends no longer walking amongst us. So I turned to what I love to do, art and crafts. I am a natural maker. I like to be creating or making something all the time.

One of my cute students at the beach showed me a tote she monogrammed. It was such a fun bag that I decided I needed to make one for myself. I had purchased the plain bag a couple of weeks ago. I pulled it out of the closet and picked a thread color from my huge stash off needlepoint fibers.

I got to work cross stitching my monogram on the bag. It didn’t take long because I first drew out the design on graph paper to make sure I got all the proportions correct.

It was a fast stitch job and now I have a personalized tote to take to the beach next week. I needed to create something today. Tomorrow I go back to teaching. Definitely something I need to do. Organizing will have to wait.

Dinner Before the Rain

We planned a nice dinner with Lynn and Logan on the roof of the Lenny, a new restaurant downtown. It over looks the ball park where there was some kind of player showcase going on. The weather was nice when we sat down. We ordered too much food. We liked the fried artichoke and the flat bread the most. The portions are very large and the prices aren’t bad.

As we were enjoying our dinner looking west we could see a huge storm off in the distance. It was fairly slow moving. We were able to enjoy almost our dinner when suddenly the temperature dropped a good ten degrees in about ten seconds. The wind at our eleventh floor elevation picked up fast, scattering some of our food across the terrace.

Our first thought was for our skittish dogs at our respective homes. Shay would be nervous, but Annie Toms has been known to tear up expensive furniture, so we rushed out.

Just as I was driving us out of the parking garage the rain started. Drop drop then immediate sheets. Since everything is already saturated from last weeks deluge the water was just rushing to the low places. We are lucky we got home when we did before all routes home became impassible. Going to rain for the next three days.

Old Dog, New Tricks

I was today years old when I learned how to make chicken salad in a blink of an eye. I have been making chicken salad for over half a century. That’s a really long time. And I always make it by chopping up chicken. It’s not hard, but it can be slow.

I have loved shredded chicken salad like we get at the Midtown Market in Danville. I just never tried to make shredded chicken salad because it was a huge extra step to shed the chicken.

Then I heard about shredding chicken using my kitchen aid mixer. WHAT?!?! I actually read about it on the Kitchen Aid website. You cook the chicken and put the hot chicken in the bowl with the paddle attachment. Turn the machine on low and sure enough in less than 30 seconds I had shredded 2 large whole breasts.

It would have taken me ten minutes to chop by hand and an additional ten minutes to shred. 30 seconds! How did I get to 64 without knowing this trick? You can teach this old dog a new trick.

Always Teaching

Always Teaching

Monday is a great day to get a pedicure. No one much thinks they need pretty nails for Tuesday. Since the salon was very quiet I thought I would have a very relaxing time needlepointing while my feet where pampered.

Since it was slow and quiet the man who was doing my feet must have been bored. He took a great interest in what I was working on. He want me to teach him how to needlepoint, while I wanted him to make my heels soft. The two did not exactly go together, but I showed him how to stitch while he sanded.

His favorite trick was learning how to thread the needle without trying to stuff the fiber in the eye. After a little lesson he asked me if they sold needlepoint at Walmart. I told him I saw not exactly sure, but that I got mine from Chapel Hill Needlepoint.

I know more and more men are needlepointing, but I am not sure this guy is going to show up at Nancy’s and pick out a project. He definitely has the dexterity to handle the needle. He did a great job on my toes, but my heels are still dry. Really not his fault.

Chore Helper?

There is one chore I hate doing. It’s filling my pill containers with my vitamins, supplements and prescriptions. I take such a large number of all these things on such a specific schedule I have to have a four times a day pill case. Filling these cases is a royal pain in the ass.

First, I have to have all of the elements. Then I have to put them in. It takes about an hour to do six weeks worth. It never fails that Shay wants to be involved. Not actually doing anything, just supervising, even if supervising means sleeping beside the cases while I work.

It never fails that I don’t have six weeks worth of every element while I am filling. So I fill as much as I can and then pray I remember to add the needed ingredients when they arrive. Getting old is so much work, but I must say these supplements are good for me. Just sorting them out is not. Having them all sorted does make taking them so much easier. I would never remember if I had taken them if I didn’t have it all portioned out.

My Favorite Find

In the continuation of the deep clean out of my paper office I came across a file folder I had not looked at in over 25 years. I knew it was in the drawer, but had not bothered to look at it. It was a folder filled with tiny scraps of paper with notes jotted on them. Some were written on the back of receipts, or torn from a pad of paper, most barley legible as I certainly wrote them in a hurry.

The identifying tag on the folder said, “Carter quotes.” Sometime when Carter was about three I made a book of photos with some of these quotes in it. As it is a favorite book for us to look at I thought that this folder was just the original source material for that book. What I discovered as I went through the folder is these were quotes that I kept saving long after she turned three. So most of these I have not read since I first wrote them down and threw them in the folder.

Here are some of my favorites:

“Sometimes my mind stops working and it wants to get away from my head.” March 23, 2003.

“Mommy, it’s like there is a glue between you and me and Daddy and it all comes back to you.”

April 8, 2005

Daddy took Carter to Duke Gardens. While there Carter asked for three Pennies to make wishes with in the fountain.

“I wish I could go back to Disney World.”

“I wish I could go back to San Francisco.”

“I wish I would be so good so I would make my angel proud of me.”

March 8, 2003

“Carter, what are we going to do about your room?”

“Mommy, I think we should just move.”

July 14, 2003

“Carter, please stop crying.”

“It’s too late. I already started.”

October 6, 2003

While looking at a scrap book I made her Carter said, “I wish I could start my life over again. It has been so great.”

October 18, 2003

“Mama, I love you more than the beautiful sun.”

November 30, 2003

“They just lost their minds Carter.”

“Mommy, who got their minds then?”

December 12, 2003

(I really wish I knew what my reply to that was.)

I said, “I have to go to your class on Thursday Carter. What should I say?”

“You should say almost everything you know.”

September 13, 2004

(Thank goodness she just wanted almost everything.)

Not a Day for Celebrations

Forgive me if I have a hard time celebrating today. I spent the last two and a half decades supporting the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina. I can hardly celebrate the signing of the terrible awful bill that cuts support to feed hungry children.

We have all been witness to the failure of the the farce of trickle down economics. Making the uber rich even richer does not help the multitudes get jobs. One rich person can only buy or employee so many people. That one rich person getting richer does not mean they will quadruple their spending. So excuse me if I am skeptical that this bill will grow the economy in a way to cover the $2.4 trillion dollars the non-partisan Congressional Budget O ffice says will be added to the deficit In the next nine years.

We are saddling our children with a crushing debt, while we are cutting food to hungry children. Hungry children can not thrive. They fail in school, they have trouble becoming productive adults all for the want of the most basic human need. Food.

Children born into poverty were just unlucky. Why should we compound that by not helping them. When nuts say things like, “people need to pull themselves up by their boot straps,” they are assuming people have boots. Children without food have no bootstraps, let alone boots or apples or milk. The cruelty of this awful bill will have repercussions for a generation or more.

But you say, my children are fed. I work hard and take care of my own. But your children are going to grow up and need people to work with them, and be their doctors and nurses and teachers and run the grocery store and grow their food. Who will do all this?

I am so disappointed in those so called Christians who supported this bill. You should be ashamed because if you were true followers of Christ you would know that Jesus said to feed the hungry and care for the widows and orphans.

So on this anniversary of our country I weep. What have we become?

Office Time Capsule

Russ and I moved to our house July 3, 1994. We waited five days for our moving truck to show up. It was four days late and made me very nervous since everything we owned was in that truck. While we waited we went to Home Depot and found a dhuri rug that looked like a quilt pattern. We put it in my office. I needed a desk since I worked from home when I wasn’t on the road at clients.

The desk we ended up getting was a giant semi-circle with two long straight extensions on each side and three rolling file cabinets that sat underneath. It was a behemoth. I sprang for a red Herman miller chair and turned my office into a command center of commerce.

Those file cabinet drawers quickly filled up with all the tools I needed for work and eventually any important family items, like spare keys, insurance policies and every one of Carter’s report cards.

At one point I wanted a walking desk and the room would not accommodate the command center and a treadmill desk. By then I was only an editor at Durham Magazine, not an important business person. So Russ and I dismantled the behemoth. I moved one of the side extensions to the wall along with all three rolling file cabinets. The semi-circle went to rabbit room, previously the nursery, now Russ’ home office and the other side extension went downtown to Russ’ corporate office.

The file cabinets, with their three drawers each, remained largely untouched, save the occasional opening to find a large binder clip or a Benjamin Moore paint chip displaying the color we painted the guest room 24 years ago.

Today I decided was the day to start tackling what was inside those rolling drawers. There are six small drawers and three hanging file drawers. I knew I could not do it all at once so I started with three of the small drawers that were filled up with office supplies and miscellaneous items.

I found seven different business cards, three from Durham Magzine because we moved offices often, two from the Food Bank, one from my needlepoint group, and one was personal. There must have been a dozen or more bottles or small containers of pain killers, all at least twenty years old or older. (I think my work life was more stressful back then.)

There were the normal office things, like paper clips and rubber bands that had practically turned to dust and lost their snap. I had six manual pencil sharpeners despite the fact that I have an electric pencil sharpener on top of my desk. There were more used lipsticks, nail files and dental floss that needed to be in my bath room not my desk. And all off this was in one drawer.

The drawer below it was a time capsule of electronics of the 90’s. There were four different tiny film cameras, along with a dozen unused film cartridges. Some weird video camera, my sharp Zarus, which was like a tiny computer, calendar, address book and all things important when I worked in the UK. If I change the batteries I might be able to look at it.

I found at least 75 old credit and membership cards, four from airlines that have long been out of business. Oh, how I miss Midway airlines. There was a checkbook from an account Carter’s name and mine as the trustee from Nations Bank. I don’t even remember Nationa bank, let alone why Carter needed a checking account as a baby. (Sorry Carter I don’t know what money was in that account.)

I did a good job throwing away most everything that was unimportant. I did come across a handful Reporter notebooks from my time working at Durham’s Magazine. I tried not to spend time reading those notebooks, but I did find Jay Bilas’ business card from an event I covered with Coach K. It all went in the trash.

Three drawers was all I could handle today. Tomorrow I will try again on some others. I am dreading the files as I am certain to get bogged down reading things I have not seen in two decades. Throwing away old altoids and white out is easy. Finding letters written to me from people no longer living is going to be harder.

Sorting Paper or Pants

After having my monthly lunch with my friend Hannah, my plan was to work on cleaning up my paper office. I have files in my drawers that have not been cleaned out in 25 years. I am a little curious about what I will find, but not curious enough to stick at if very long.

I started with the top of my desk, covered in financial paperwork to be sorted and possibly discarded. I got through that and a giant much needed storm broke out. No, it was not a tornado of paperwork, but actual rain and thunder.

Shay, standing at the top off the stairs started crying so I abandoned my office and went with her to her safe place, my bed. Well, I thought, there is plenty to be cleaned out in here.

I like to work in categories. So I decided to clean out and organize my folded pants in my closet. I have lost some weight and I have been having trouble finding the pants that are my current size. I have a store’s worth of sizes of almost the exact same pants.

I quickly discovered that most of my pants are too big so it’s time for them to go. I did discover three pairs in three different colors that fit perfectly and I am certain I will wear those three until they get too big. The only sad thing is I did not find any white pants that fit. Stone color will just have to do this summer.

Now I have created a new job, that of rehoming the too big pants. It is way more fun to try on pants that are too big, than sorting through finical paper work. The bottom line is cleaning out is cleaning out. .

One Damn Mosquito

I didn’t sleep well last night. No, I just couldn’t go to sleep last night. I think I finally fell asleep around 3:30. One thing that kept bothering me was a singular mosquito. I could hear it flying around. When I got tired of tossing and turning I would pick up my phone to see what time it was and in the glow of the screen not once, or twice, but three different times the mosquito would come and light on my hand.

Every time it did I would try and kill it, never sure it I got it, until the confirmation the next time I looked at my phone and had the bug come back and visit. It never bit me. Just buzzed around me.

Fast forward to tonight. I come in my room and sit down on my bed and there is my trusty little buzzing buddy back for a visit. I am not certain how this mosquito got in my room. No windows are open, it’s much too hot for that. The closest door to the outside is down a long hall, down five steps and a dog leg turn to the front door.

Maybe this little guy came in riding on Shay. I will never know, but I still have not been able to catch or kill him. I really need sleep tonight. I am praying the bug flys out the way he came in.

Don’t Give Up

The poem, “The Paradoxical Commandments” by Kent Keith was printed in our church bulletin this week. You may know it.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway…

You can read it in the photo. You most certainly get the idea. I have heard this poem many times, but what I didn’t know is that it was written on the wall of Mother Teresa’s home for the most unwanted orphans in the poorest Calcutta.

It reminds me that no matter how bad something appears,you do not have to change your good ways to meet the bad times. Good and bad ebbs and flows.

When times are good most people think they will always be good and when times are bad most people think they will stay bad or get worse.

Times change and good times change faster than you think, and bad times change slower than you want. But change is always happening all around you. But you do not have to change your good ways no matter how bad times are. But you should change your bad ways.

I used to think that most people are good, but there are some very high profile bad people who have given regular people permission to be bad. I hope that karma catches up with the bad people. I still think there are more good than bad people. Being bad comes with its own baggage. Just like being good comes with its own lightness.

Please don’t let the darkness of our times change your goodness. The darkness will eventually change, but if you became dark with it it might be harder for you to change back.

Hurtful Childhood Games Reflect Real Life

I was talking to someone who had an experience where she was left out of a group and it did not feel great. I don’t think it was on purpose, but her feeling were hurt none the less.

It reminded me of something we used to do in preschool, which I hope they no longer do. In my pre school we would play “The farmer in the Dell,” And sing the song that went along with it. You probably know the song,

“The farmer in the Dell, the farmer in the Dell. Hi ho the Dario the farmer in the Dell.”

It started with a boy who was the farmer in the the middle of a circle, and the children in the circle around him would sing, “The farmer takes a wife, the farmer take a wife, Hi Ho the Dario the farmer takes a wife.”

The boy would pick a girl out from the surrounding children and she would then stand in the middle of the circle and the boy farmer would join the outer circle.

The “wife” would stand in the middle and the the children would sing, “the wife takes a child. The wife takes a child, Hi Ho the Dario the wife takes a child.” And the wife would pick another child from the circle who would now stand in the middle and the wife would rejoin the outer circle.

It went on this way with the children picking a cow, the cow picking a dog, the dog picking a cat, the cat picking a mouse and the mouse picking a cheese.

After the mouse picked the cheese, the cheese would stand in the center of the circle and the last line of the song was, “the cheese stands alone, the cheese stands alone, hi Ho the Dario the cheese stands alone.” There was something sad and shameful about being the cheese. You did not get to pick anyone else and you were left alone in the center. That was the end of the game. Not much of a game if you ask me. More of a popularity contest.

I told the person who was “left out” to remember what it felt like to be that one. No one wants to be the cheese standing alone. It may not be on purpose you were left out, or picked to be the cheese, but that does not matter in the end. So the best thing to do is to make sure you don’t do this to anyone else. Never let a cheese stand alone. Always be an ally to a cheese and stand with them.

The only way to change these long time situations of ranking people from Farmer to cheese is to not play these kind of ranking games. There is nothing redeeming about the farmer in the Dell, no one learns any thing, except a silly song. And for the record, I would always prefer to be the cheese than a mouse.

Dave and Cindy Come to NC

Months ago my college friend Dave asked us to go to a concert at Red Hat amphitheater when he and his wife Cindy were going to be in town to visit their daughter Deitra. Since Dave and Cindy live outside Pittsburgh we try and see them when they come to North Carolina.

We met for dinner at Poole’s diner which was as close as you could get to the the concert. They brought Cindy’s cute nephew Ed, who lives in Raleigh. (I want to introduce him to my young single mah Jongg students.)

We had a great dinner as you always do at Poole’s. The service and food can’t be beat and I was happy to introduce it to them.

We walked across the street to Red Hat and found our way to the lawn to find a place to spread out our blankets. The concert was 38 special and Kansas. Yes, those were bands when I was in high school, but not ones I really followed. Dave commented that he was glad everyone was not in wheel chairs, but a woman with a walker was sitting right in front of us. I am certain that in 1978 these bands did not think, “We are going to be doing this well into our 70’s and 80’s.”

Dave and Cindy are bigger concert goers than Russ and I are. It was sunny and warm and we talked through most of 38 special. That was about all the time Russ and I had since we had to get home to Shay.

Thanks Cindy and Dave for inviting us. We look forward to seeing you in December, if not before.

Wedgewood for Cheese

Russ is the most curious person I know. He follows the greatest diversity of people and places on instagram. He reads more publications than any human I know. He is a human AI.

Last week he invited me on a lunch date for today since today was the first day we both were free at lunch time. He took me to a new cheese place in Carboro called Wedgewood he had stumbled upon on Instagram. They sell cheese and have a little restaurant in the shop. It has been open a month. We weren’t exactly sure where it was based on the name of the street, but I said it sounds like it is near the car wash. Turns out it is on the side of the car wash building.

We entered the beautiful little shop and found that there were more people working there than there were eating or shopping there. This meant they had no trouble seating us at the counter. We ordered the cheesemonger’s choice of a cheese plate of three cheeses and a lox toast.

The cheese plate came first. It had a soft cheese called afterglow, a Brie and a third harder cheese. Some fig jam, a blackberry, half a strawberry and three Cornichon came on the flat tiny platter along with a bowl of more than enough yummy thin crackers.

The afterglow and Brie were fantastic. The third cheese was too waxy and lacked flavor. I let our server know that the third cheese was awful and they happily replaced it with a fabulous Gruyere. After we enjoyed those tiny cheeses our lox toast arrived. We each enjoyed the slice of toasted Baguette with a creamy spread, red onion, capers, dill and smoked salmon. It was a good salty four bites.

For dessert we ordered the whipped chèvre and fig jam toast. It was probably the best thing we ate. The toasted pecans and flower garnish made it as beautiful as it was delectable.

I saw they sold country ham and order four slices from the store side and brought that home to garnish the tomato pie I baked using two of the tomatoes from my friend Lee’s farm.

It was a very cheesy day. But a delightful date with my curious husband. We will be back to visit Wedgewood because Russ wants to try the French ham sandwich with French butter and cornichon on a baguette. I can’t deny the man a ham sandwich.

Don’t Stop Socializing

I was listening to NPR on my drive home from the beach today. One story that stood out was about how Americans spend their time now compared to just ten years ago. The big thing that is down is how much time people spend socializing. It’s down close to 30%. That is tragic, because ten years ago people didn’t spend an inordinate amount of time socializing.

I am so happy that what I spend my time doing is contributing to people spending more time together socializing. Mah Jongg is a great way to get to know more people and spend time with real humans. The thing about playing Mah Jongg is that it is non-partisan. You can play with all kinds of people and not fight. You have to pay close enough attention to the game so you don’t have time to think about any bad things going on in the world. So it is a true escape.

For me personally I have enjoyed making so many wonderful friends through teaching. Today, while in the middle of class, my friend Lee came into the room to drop off a bag of her her home grown tomatoes. She was not taking class, but knew I was at the beach and brought me that fabulous gift just because she is a dear.

I also had the pleasure of having lunch with my old friend Diane and her daughter Genie today. I had a one hour break between classes and went in the bar to have lunch and Diane invited me to sit with them. I first learned to play Mah Jongg with Diane 32 years ago. It was great to see her.

Making new friends at every age is so important. It keeps you young and makes you happy. It is also wonderful to spend time with old friends. The more friends the more socializing. That is good for your well being.

Oddity? Perhaps

I know my hearing is getting worse. I am sixty four and it might be time to start to get it checked.

Tonight I was sitting with my friend Kristi at her house after we enjoyed a nice dinner at Island Grille. I have had a wonderful time staying with her and we laugh constantly.

As we were talking I thought Kristi said to me, “You are an Odyssey.”

Not know what in the world that meant I asked her, “What is an Odyssey?”

She quickly corrected me. “An Oddity.”

Well, she isn’t wrong, but I kind of liked being an Odyssey more than an Oddity.

Time to get my hearing checked. I will still be an oddity, even if I can improve my hearing.