Hold My Mail

I got the mail today. Same old crap. A three hundred page catalogue for shipping supplies. Two other random catalogues from stores we have never been to. A coupon for something we will never buy. A letter from a car dealer wanting to buy my car and the best thing a letter to Russ from Melanie Trump. I don’t know what “fake mailing list” the RNC was buying, but someone is wasting their money.

Due to spousal rights I get to open all mail that beautiful women send my husband. No prejudice here, I also open the mail all ugly women send him too. I needed a little comedy this afternoon and I was certain that I would get it from this particular letter.

As a retired Marketer I am very familiar with direct mail. My father was the king of direct mail for years and I loved to try and shorten many of his voluminous offerings. So I read these things with an editors sensibility.

Two things caught my eye in this mailing. The first and most glaring was the big Melania Signature which looks incredibly similar to that of her husband, Donald. It made me wonder if she did not learn to write until she met him and he taught her hand writing. If that is not the case, then I wondered if 45 was sending out this mailing for her and signed it himself. Either way, I have never seen a couple with so similar a signature.

The second thing I found amusing was that the call to action form (that’s the thing you send back with a big check) actually wants people to pledge to the President because the Democrats and the media are out to “destroy you Personally” (meaning destroy the Donald personally). Never in my life reading fundraising mail for anything have I seen a plea from a politician for money because someone was trying to destroy them personally. I am so tired of 45 thinking the whole world revolves around him.

This officially kicks off the nightmare of a long political season. I am wondering if it would be OK to have the Post Office hold ALL our mail until after the election?

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