No Airline Exercise

I wonder if it is too late for me to get a job as a flight attendant on a long haul flight?  Not that I am at all the right temperament to serve, cajole and make nice with the general flying public, in fact I surely would get into some kind of fight with some paying passenger.  No, I am not looking for a job, or even a free flight, but the right to get up and walking around while flying.

I am a good sitter.  Always have been.  That is probably one of the reasons I put on many extra pounds over the years.  So sitting on a plane for eight hours is not usually a problem for me.  Most of the things I love to do are done sitting – needlepointing, watching movies, playing games.

The issue now is that I have learned that I need to walk at least nine miles a day so I can eat something.  That much walking takes a lot of time.  Time I don’t seem to have on a day that I spend the majority of it on a plane.  FAA regulations now frown upon anyone being out of their seat, almost to the point that they are going to be issuing Depends for all passengers.

I certainly don’t want to draw negative attention to myself by flaunting the rules and walking up and down the aisles of the plane as a passenger, but if only I were a flight attendant I would have full reign of the empty aisles.  I could start by checking seatbelts, cruising up and down making sure that every granny and small child were belted in tightly in case of turbulence.  I see flight attendants get lots of extra steps by walking by and then backing up as a loose metal tab catches their eye.

After the security briefing I would be happy to roll the newspaper cart down the aisle offering the very old fashioned magazine and papers to those few people who still read that way.  I would follow it up with the headphone passing out and then the dinner menus.  After all the passengers have had a chance to rule out the worst meal choices I would be happy to walk back and forth taking orders.  Special requests?  No problem just let me run up to the front and consult the purser.  Time for drinks, I’ve got that under control.  Ring the call button.  I’ll be right there.  Just give me an excuse to walk back and forth on the Boeing 767.  With 44 rows I bet I can get 100 steps in for each round trip of the plane.

Since I don’t have time to interview, or get seniority enough to do the long haul flight I guess I am going to be stuck strapped in trying to get sitting exercises.  I wonder if my fitbit would register steps made with my legs hovering in the air?  I can tell I am going to be annoying my child to no end.