For the Love of Ugly Shoes

Posted: November 13, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

 

The other day I visited the shoe show room, otherwise known as her new closet, of a friend who is shoe obsessed.  It was like visiting a great museum, perhaps one owned by a Medici in Florence Italy.  Each pair was a beautiful sculpture, all heels, terribly high, some with platforms making them even higher, in a rainbow of colors, textures and adornments.

 

I was overwhelmed with their elegance and at the same time thrilled that I did not have to wear them.  There I was, standing in the holy grail of shoes wearing perhaps the ugliest pair of shoes I have ever owned feeling like I was on cloud nine.

 

I had recently visited a store dedicated to comfortable shoes that my friend of high heel heaven would not be caught dead in.  I was looking for the winter equivalent to my Dansko sneakers I had been wearing all summer.  The sales person showed me Dansko’s newest black leather slip-on that without a doubt looked like something that Valerie the wife of Miracle Max would wear.  What, you don’t know who Valerie is?  She was the character played by Carol Kane in The Princess Bride movie that was married to Billy Crystal’s character.  She is clearly at the bottom of any style scale.  That is how ugly these shoes are.

 

The best part about being middle age is that I finally learned not to judge a book by its cover, or a shoe by how it looks, but by how it feels.  So without a moment’s hesitation I tried these clodhoppers on.  AHHHHHHHH.  Such nirvana and chocolate was not even involved.

 

Without asking the price I told the sales person I would be wearing these shoes out, and off I went.  These shoes have practically cured me of the plantar fasciitis that has plagued me for the last year and they add a spring to my step that encourages me to walk faster and farther.  My feet actually feel better in these shoes than out of them.  I am trying to figure out how I can sleep in them without soiling my bed linens.

 

So I may not be in fashion, but boy do my feet feel good.  I am happy to admire the gorgeous foot wear my friend sports, but I can’t imagine going the distance in it.  To me ugly never felt so good.

Foot Weight Loss Was Not My Goal

Posted: July 22, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: | Leave a comment

I pray for you that you are a person who has remained the same sensible clothing size for many years.  I am not.  My closets contain an array of sizes in everything from outerwear to underwear.  Of course it is not organized by size, which would make life easier, but none-the-less a range of about six to seven sizes exists under one roof.  That is in everything except shoes.

For the most part all my shoes are the same size in both length and width.  Thank goodness that there is one item I can pull out of my closet without having to go to the mirror and ask, “Can I wear this out of the house or does it look like I am wearing pajamas?”  I say this after a friend of my daughter’s who was too polite to tell me, told her mother that I looked bigger in my big clothes now that I was smaller.

She meant it in the nicest possible way, but it points out that I have to tackle the giant job of cleaning out all my closets and arranging my clothes by size.  I am certainly not going to go out and buy any clothes for this hopefully temporary interim size, and I certainly must have a few things to wear from my last time on the way up to this weight.  After my practically pants-on-the-floor trip to Texas I did find a couple of pairs of white pants in my closet that were the next two sizes down.  The good news-bad news is that one of them is already too big and the smaller pair is just a little tight across the tummy.   Why can’t I lose weight in perfect size increments?

For the most part, it does not really matter if I look like I might walk out of my skirt when I am just driving Carter back and forth to the barn, tending my garden or writing my blog.  But this week I had an important meeting where I had to look somewhat professional, even in the 100-degree heat.  I scoured the guest room closet and discovered a linen outfit that fit to a “T”.  Just a little pressing and I was set to go.  I grabbed a pair of cute squared toe flats and jumped in the car, barefoot for the drive to the meeting.

I got there just in time, slipping my feet into my shoes before running into the office building for the meeting.  To my horror, just as I entered the conference room and walked forward to shake hands with my host I walked completely out of my shoes, leaving them by the door as the rest of me continued onward.   I made some kind of joke that I thought we were holding a Japanese meeting as I retrieved my footwear.

So here I am doing everything possible to slim down my hips and thighs and what do I get…skinnier feet.