I Need a Good Binge

Posted: June 18, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: , , | 11 Comments

 

 

As a former fat person the word binge was not one I wanted to be associated with. For most of my life binging meant eating too much, way too much. Although I was really over weight for a while, binging was not how I got there. I was a much more steady eater.

 

Now as a thinner person I am happy to admit that I am a binger, but not when it comes to eating. I am a binge watcher — that is a person who watches all the episodes of one TV show at once, maybe not in the same day, but in a short period of time and definitely not interrupted by any other shows.

 

This binging started last year when “Orange is the new black” was first released. I had heard Jason Biggs being interviewed on NPR about the show so I found it on Netflix the day it debuted and I watched all thirteen episodes in about four days. If you have never heard of or seen “Orange” then you might have been in a women’s prison in a country without cable.

 

That first binge watch led to my watching all seven seasons of “Breaking Bad” in binge mode. Between Orange and Breaking I was beginning to think I was the only honest person on earth. I followed Breaking with “House of cards” both seasons and that did nothing to restore my faith in human kind, but still I was addicted.

 

I lay off binge watching for a good six months hoping to cleanse my soul, then the second season of “Orange” came out and I was hooked all over again. Getting my steps was never so easy because I could walk while Crazy Eyes was following Vee around.

 

The problem with binge watching is the let down when I finish a series is too great. Nothing fills the void unless there is a new series to overtake my brain. Regular TV does not suffice. Waiting a week to follow a story is too slow. I could DVR a series and watch the whole thing once it has aired, but that would take more storage space than I have. I really don’t like reruns no matter how much I liked the show the first time with the exception of “Seinfeld” and “I love Lucy.” But comedy is not a great walking distraction.

 

So now I’m walking to Jeopardy and the tension is just not there like “House of Cards.” Each step seems slower, every mile takes longer. I’m craving a really good show to binge on. I need it for my exercise. Yeah, that’s the reason.

Obsessive Personality Disorder- Oh Yeah

Posted: September 4, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

 

 

As a person who has spent a lifetime struggling with my weight a learned person might diagnose me with some sort of obsessive personality disorder.  I’m not about to WebMD my traits to get a more exact determination, but you get the picture.

 

I do catch myself sometimes silently repeating a phrase in my head like, “take the garbage out, take the garbage out, take the garbage out…” as I am on my way to do you know what.  Since I have spent the last year and a half being obsessive about eating healthy food and documenting my crazy daily life on this blog I think I have lessened the bad food obsession but have not in anyway reduced my personality disorder — Maybe disorder is a strong word, lets call it my condition.

 

I recognize that I now have Fanatic Needlepoint Affliction.  September 10th is the deadline to turn in all completed canvases to have Christmas ornaments fabricated by the holiday.  I set a goal this year to make a dozen new ornaments.  I way surpassed that goal months ago.  Do you think I slowed my stitching down?  No way.

 

Last week, knowing that I had only two weeks left to do finish all the ornaments I could I picked two I wanted to finish.  Bam, Bang, I got them both knocked out in a week.  So now I have one week left, maybe just one more ornament I thought yesterday.  I still have one week.  I can do it.  But my Fanatic Needlepoint Affliction took over and I will finish this one tonight.  That will leave me five more days and I appear to be stitching at warp speed.

 

A second bit of evidence about my obsession disorder is called Whole Series Netflix Watching.  This summer when Carter was at camp I discovered a made for Netflix TV series called “Orange is the New Black” about a woman who is sent to prison.  It was about thirteen episodes long and I watched the whole thing in three nights.  I did not watch the news, or Jeopardy or read a book or anything else.  Well, I did needlepoint while I was watching it in a layering of all my afflictions/disorders/conditions at once.

 

When I finished watching the series I felt spent and sad knowing that I had used the whole thing up and there was no more.  But it was so great.  I really got to know the characters well and by watching one show after the other with no pause in the action.  There was no trying to remember what was going on in the plot like happens when you go weeks between watching episodes of a show.

 

I thought that Netflix Condition might have been a one-time thing, but I should have known better.  Two nights ago in the search for something to watch during the dead zone of TV seasons while Speed Needle pointing I found “Breaking Bad.”  Yes, I know I am the last human in America to watch it, but I don’t have Showtime or whatever channel it is on.  In three days I am half way through season 2.  I figure I can watch all the seasons in the next week as I crank out as many Christmas ornaments as possible and then I will lay wasted, worn out, kaput.  Please god just keep my obsessions out of the kitchen.