Having a Right is Not the Same as Being Right

I went to start the dough for sticky buns for the inquirers class at church that Russ and I run on Sunday. I don’t know what made me decide to do this, but I thought I had all the ingredients. After warming the milk and adding the brown sugar I went to search for the yeast. I know I should get all my ingredients out first, but since this is a multi-day bake I did not. Turns out the yeast I knew was is the cupboard was four years past expiration. So off to the Harris Teeter I went.

My Harris Teeter sits down in a hollow so as you are approaching your car is at the top of a hill. From that vantage point you can see down into the parking lot, unless the sun is low, as it was this afternoon.

There was a car ahead of me who was going perfectly slow for a parking lot. A white man with grey hair walked out between two cars with his head down and without stopping and looking up was almost hit by the car in front of me. The man just kept walking, but the woman in the car in front of me of me sat frozen, obviously scared to death about what most happened.

She pulled into a spot and I pulled into the one next to her. We got out of our cars at the same time and I asked her if she was all right. She said, “I almost hit that man. I didn’t even see him.”

“I saw the whole thing. He was not looking up and just barreled out between those cars. I am sure that was scary.” I reassured her. She just put her hand to her heart and took a deep breath. We both walked carefully across the the parking lot, waving at the cars and looking both ways as we did.

I went straight to the baking aisle and came upon the grey haired man who was studying the powdered sugar like he didn’t know that confectioners sugar was the same thing as powered. Me, being me, went right up to him and said in my nicest tone (which we all know might not sound that nice), “I know you have the right of way as a pedestrian in the parking lot, but it is always a good idea to look up and wave at any moving cars to make sure they see you.”

“They have to stop for me. People drive too fast in the parking lot and they almost hit me all the time.”

“I’m sure no one wants to hit you, but if they don’t see you…”

He cut me off, “I am in the right.”

“Sure, but if you are dead it is hard to gloat about it.” And I walked away.

I thought about it a minute and maybe I was wrong. I’m not sure everyone doesn’t want to hit that guy.

Third Class, Good Class

If I have done my job right, by the time my students get to the third day of Mah Jongg class they can play the game, figure out which hands to play and do it all in a timely manner. It makes me so proud when they do that.

Today was the third day for two beginner classes I was teaching. I had 48 marvelous students I throughly enjoyed. In my afternoon class I had one student give me a gift. This is highly unusual and I told her so, but she said her love language was giving gifts, so I accepted. She also wrote a lovely note and that is the cherished part to me.

After class was over I went to sit in the gift shop attached to my teaching area because there are comfy chairs there. I had two hours between the afternoon and evening classes. Many of my students hung around the gift shop searching for Christmas gifts.

They said goodbye to me as they were leaving. One woman came up and pressed a $20 bill in my hand as she said goodbye. I looked at the money and asked what in the world it was for. She said a tip. I told her it was not necessary and she insisted so I did not argue with her. I don’t usually get tipped. It was very kind.

I am just happy that people leave excited and enthralled with the game. I can tell by the speed and quality of their playing when they get it. That is what makes the third day so fun.

Christmas is Coming

I’m teaching in Cary at Home for Entertaining this week. I have an afternoon class and and evening class so between them I have a two hour break. This is quite dangerous because they are getting ready for their Holiday open house on Saturday. Any chance I get I sneak into the dining room where they are pricing all the Christmas items.

So many fabulous Christmas items. If you know me you know I am a nut for Christmas decor. I have to really look carefully as I am not sure I have a square inch available for more Christmas decor, but how can I resist.

If you are a Holiday lover Home for Entertaining is having Big Holiday open house on Saturday from 10-5. They are located in downtown Cary in a beautiful home, turned shop. It is right off Harrison Ave at 119 West Park st.

I have heard about the Christmas cookies and yummy drinks they will be serving. While you are here you can not only pick up gifts from your loved ones, but you can also make a wish list for yourself. What is better than when anyone asks what do you want for the Holidays you can say, just call up Home for Entertaining and pick something off my wish list. Plus the wrapping here is over the top. Christmas made easy!

https://homeforentertaining.com/collections/events-classes/products/holiday-open-house-wish-list-event-november-1

Bad Things That Ruin Good Names

Have you met a child named Katrinia in the last ten years? I can’t think of one. After the devastation that Hurricane Katrinia caused who would want to be associated with a disaster?

Somehow the name karen has been co-opted to mean something awful or at least terribly annoying. I have so many friends named Karen and I love them all. Would I name a child Karen now? Probably not. Why saddle a child with a name that has come to mean something so negative.

Now we have Hurricane Melissa. The full extent of this high powered storm is yet to be known, but it was measured at the highest wind speed of any measured hurricane in history. Will it have lasting effects on our feeling for the name Melissa? The jury is still out on that. Maybe Melissa in the US can withstand the connection with a life altering storm, but I will bet no Jamaican is going to name a Baby girl Melissa this year..

This connection between bad things and their name seem to mainly effect females. Although Hurricane Andrew was fairly awful, and then so was Prince Andrew so perhaps a one-two punch with a boys name takes it down in popularity. But so often a boys name can weather the storm of bad publicity.

I hope they never use Dana for a hurricane name, but if they do it would be an early in the season storm and they tend to not be the worst storms. I can do my own damage and don’t need a storm to help me.

Seasons of a Life Long Friend

I first met Suzanne when we were freshman at Dickinson college. We both pledged Pi Phi and it was the start of a great life long friendship. When we were in college we would tell each other about a cute store we found or a good deal on a sweater. If she was coming into lunch when I was on the way out I might tell her to avoid the salad bar as I saw someone pick up something from it with their hands.

As we got a little older and were young professionals, her in NYC and me in Washington, DC, she might tell me about a good new lip stick or a deal on a hair brush. I might tell her about a new nail treatment.

We got a little older and I would tell her about a cute hotel that was good for vacation and she might tell me about a fabulous play. We got married and I told her a good jeweler and she told me a great antique store.

We had kids and she told me good Santa gifts and I told her fun summer activities for kids.

All the time she told me good books to read. I told her good shows to watch and we always shared great games to play.

But now, after 46 years of friendship we have finally gotten to the reason you have a life long friend. They know exactly what you need and when you need it. Suzanne showed me “the best gift her sister Gussy ever gave her,” a memory foam seat for your car.

She let me sit in hers this weekend and she was right. So today mine arrived. I guess you can say we have moved into the orthopedic season of our friendship.

Tides all Tied Up

The saddest day is the last day of Mah Jongg camp. So many new friendships were created. New games learned. New strategies explored. New passions discovered. And then it’s over and everyone has to return to the regular world.

Of course I love the game of Mah Jongg and teaching it, but what I love more is creating new communities and connections. This Mah Jongg camp I was blessed to get to know some of Suzanne’s New York friends better. Tracy, who is the owner of the Tides Inn is such a joy. She worked tirelessly to make sure everything about this weekend’s experience for all the guests exceeded expectations. It was wonderful to meet Tracy’s sister Kristin and meet her friend Beth who came from Colorado.

Susanne and Tracy who came from Florida enveloped my Walker’s friend LIz Brown Warters who showed up all by herself and surprised me. It made me so happy to see friends of mine become friends.

Even the dogs who came to Mah Jongg camp, Rocket and Gigi had the time of their lives as they were loved by all the participants.

I loved the whole NY contingency and am very happy that now Charlotte and Minali have entered the American Mah Jongg world.

Of course the big bonus for me was spending so much quality time with my dearest Suzanne and Gussy. Such love and support is unparalleled and they know how much I love them.

As the sadness of the ending was enveloping the guests, the excitement for the May class was helping alleviate the mood. I will be returning to the Tides Inn for Beginner and New Card plus Beyond Beginner classes May 5-7. The Inn is undergoing a major renovation and promises to be even more spectacular for the May classes. I can’t wait to return and spend an extra day or two there enjoying all the other fabulous activities they offer and seeing all my new friends I made this weekend. The best part is the Tides Inn is big enough to welcome lots more friends who want to join me.

Tides Day 2, Bigger and Better

Day 2 of Mah Jongg Camp was even better than the first. By today people were making friends and having a big time. Tracy, Suzanne and Gussy decided to take a little sea plane excursion to Smith Island during our lunch break to buy Smith Island Cakes as an extra treat for our group dinner tonight.

They had quite an adventure visiting this tiny island of indigenous people who speak a different dialect. When they arrived at the island Willit met them with his skiff and taxied them to the store/bakery/restaurant/everything gathering place of the island. They purchased two 15 layer chocolate cakes and one peanut butter and carried them back in the boat to the seaplane. They were only slightly late from class from this little junket.

After classes were over we had a lovely cocktail party in the view room. Tracy gave a sweet talk about mah Jongg camp and how much she loved it and me and then introduced the tide naturalist. We learned how they are growing oysters and planting plants to protect the environment and clean the water. Tracy and her family are great stewards of this part of the world.

After cocktails we went to our dinner which was served family style. We had two salads and crab cakes, then country fried mushrooms, which were my favorite, fish, chicken, vegetables, rice and mashed potatoes. As if that was not enough we had sticky toffee pudding, peach cobbler, brownie balls, vanilla ice cream and both Smith island Cakes. I skipped all the deserts and had a bite of both cakes. The adventure made them taste even better.

After dinner about 24 people went back to the mah Jongg room to play a few games. Tracy beat me twice and Suzanne did once. Nothing is better than beating the teacher. I am very proud of them. What a day.

Day One of Tides Inn Mah Jongg Camp

Day one of Mah Jongg camp at the Tides Inn is in the books. There is no better place to learn to play or improve your play than at a fabulous resort. Tides Inn in Irvington, Virginia is top drawer. Today was our first day of classes and the students did not disappoint.

I started the day with breakfast with my friend Gussy. We each ordered the crab avocado toast with poached eggs. We should have split it because it was so big, and oh so yummy. I could only eat half even and wish I could have saved the rest for lunch.

I had a giant group of beginners who showed up ready to learn. They were smart, sassy and so much fun. While teaching the beginners a woman came into class and I looked over at her and realized it was Liz Warters, a classmate of mine from Boarding school who I had not seen since we graduated in 1979. She had come to take the beyond beginner class and was early. Of course I interrupted class to give her hug and introduced her to the beginners.

Then before I knew it, it was time for another meal. I was still full from breakfast, but I went to the Fish Hawk to meet my friends for lunch. Suzanne, my bosom buddy, had gone out on a boat ride while I was teaching class so we showed up at lunch to see each other for the first time today. Turned out we were wearing practically matching outfits.

After a delicious Poke bowl, which again, I wish I could have saved for the next meal, I went to teach beyond beginner class. My favorite class to teach is beyond beginner and the students were engaged and delightful.

After class there was a cocktail party on the beach. That is my opportunity to get to know people and learn about where they were from. It never fails that their are many over lapping connections, people who grew up in towns next to me, or lived in the same neighborhood in Washington as I did, or are friends with friends of mine. The world is just so small.

Before we knew it, dinner rolled around. Another fabulous meal with a great group of women. It’s time to rest up to do it all again tomorrow. The only difference will be that now the students are used to me. If you have ever been in one of my classes, you know what I mean by that.

Resort Mah Jongg is really the way to go.

Not Enough Sleep

It never fails that when I have a big day I don’t sleep before it. I woke up this morning at 3:30 and could not go back to sleep. I had to drive to Irvington, VA. My plan was to leave at 10:00 AM, but since I was up and ready so early I just went ahead and left.

It’s a good three and a half hour drive. I was worried about staying awake so I called Suzanne who was also driving and we talked for a good two hours of our trip. That made it go by so much faster.

I arrived to a perfect sunny day on the river. The Tides Inn is just perfect. There were beautiful flowers and chocolate covered strawberries in my room along with a note from Tracy, my host, welcoming me to Mah Jongg weekend with me as teacher.

I was able to set up my class room for classes that start tomorrow. I ran into Susanne and Tracy from Florida who had just arrived. We sat outside and enjoyed the view and caught up.

Then my Suzanne and Gussy arrived. We went to their room before dinner with a huge gang from NY. By the time I ate my salad I was beginning to hit the 3AM wall. I had to say my good nights and come to bed.

56 students expect me to be on my top game tomorrow. I just need to sleep through the night.

This Is My Puppy

I read an article about a study that proved that dogs have favorite loveys, just like children. My lovey was a white baby blanket with a mother duck and three baby ducks. Sadly it was burned in the charcoal grill on the day I went to kindergarten. (don’t ask as that is only part of the story of my most traumatic day of my young life.)

Shay’s lovey is this small blue dog. It used to be a larger blue dog, but after destroying three of them we no longer could replace them as they were not made anymore. Perhaps her large blue dog union put their foot down after Shay systematically removed 12 legs.

Shay was quite despondent when her last large blue dog was regulated to the toy basket as flat blue furry carcasses without squeakers and limbs. Russ searched high and low and found these smaller blue dogs and Shay seemed to like them just as much. Russ brilliantly would always buy them in groups of two or four to ensure there was always a blue dog available.

When given a new dog Shay gently carries it around and uses it as a pillow to sleep on, sometimes for months on end, without doing a bit of harm to her beloved. Then, without known cause, Shay will decide it is time to unstitch a seam and remove the squeaker. Then a leg will go, perhaps a tail. She still likes the body as a pillow, but eventually she will remove all the stuffing so the pillow potential is gone.

Then, as if she knows all royals get whatever they want, she looks at Russ and gestures to the limp blue body saying, “It’s time for a new blue dog.” Miraculously one appears. She loves it, carries it around, sleeps on it, only to coddle it into submission. Poor blue dog never knows how long it has. Only Shay knows the answer.

Time is Fleeting

Three years ago today I got a call I was dreading. The week before my dear friend Stori had suffered a traumatic head injury while riding her horse. Her sister Lilea first altered me. I talked with John, Stori’s husband, it was not looking good, but with each subsequent day I hoped that meant she might recover. She did not.

Since Stori’s untimely passing I have also lost two other friends, exactly my age, who left us much too soon, Hugh and Holley.

I have known Stori since we were 16. We were best friends in boarding school and through all the years remained close despite the physical distance. I was friends with Hugh since we were 18. He was the comical leader of our very small tight knit group of college friends, who I am still stitched together with. I have known Holley since the first year we moved to Durham 32 years ago, although we are certain our paths passed while we both lived in Washington DC in our twenties.

I see these friends in my dreams, so vividly I awake with the feeling that they are still with me and always will be. You just don’t think that a life long friend will no longer be your life long friend. But they are.

I have had a friend stop being my friend and that is terrible. But when that happened I really did stop thinking about them the same way. The relationship was over. When you lose a friend to death, even when you know it was coming, as was the case for Holley, your relationship with them does not end.

So today I honor Stori’s life. She left a wonderful daughter Sam. Sadly her husband John passed less than two years after Stori, also from a fall. You just don’t know how much time you have with the people you love. Make all the time you do have count. Stori knew that I loved her. We saw each other and talked often enough that she was never in doubt of my affection and dedication to her. For that I am at peace. I know I’ll see her in my dreams.

Time to Plan for 2026

It is already time to start planning for new Mah Jongg card orientation classes in April and May. I already have a Wilmington, NC class scheduled for April 22 and just put the Tides Inn for May 5-7 on the calendar. I will not be doing a new card class at High Hampton, but instead will be at the Tides, in Irvington, VA. There is no better way to learn the new card than at a beautiful resort. It makes a great gift to ask your loved ones to give you. Plan ahead and don’t get locked out.

I’m going to Tides on Thursday for Mah Jongg camp weekend. I will post a bunch a photos so you can see what learning mah Jongg at the Tides looks like. Trust me, it’s nice.

I will be contacting the clubs I normally teach at in the next week so they can secure their dates before I offer dates to new clubs. If your club is interested in holding new card orientation classes please contact me. It is the best three hours for mah Jongg learning you can do once you know how to play.

Students at my new card orientation classes get access to the over 80 power point slides revealing all the tips and tricks of the 2026 new card. But the real reason to come to that class is to get the 2026 decision tree to help you with your first couple of passes in the Charleston.

When I was in Houston this past week I ran into two students who told me that just got the 2025 decision tree from me and that it was saving them. Too bad they didn’t get it in April.

Generous Students

Today two things happened that have never happened before. First, one of my students from last week Venmo’d me a big tip as a way of thanks for teaching her Mah Jongg. She had been dealing with some big personal issues and told me that learning to play Mah Jongg came into her life at the right time.

I have witnessed great transformations in people’s lives because of mah Jongg. They gain new communities, new friends, more connectedness, improved brain function and general happiness. I was thrilled this women had such a good experience and it was so nice of her to let me know.

The second thing that happened is three of the women in my weekend class made me a fudge pie and brought it to class today with a beautiful big bow on it and the cutest card. I just met them yesterday. I ate lunch with them yesterday and got to know them as a very cute group of sister-in-law’s & friends. It was totally over the top to bake me a pie, and tell me it freezes well. It will come out during the holidays.

It was very sweet that these students show me extra love when they like class. I say it all the time, best job anywhere!

Racks are the Only Thing in Common

I had an all day class for beginners today. Six hours of learning with an hour break for lunch is a long day for beginner mah Jongg students. I prefer to dole out the learning in three hour increments per day.

I was so pleased with how well this big class did paying attention for all six hours. They asked good questions and I only had to reprimand a couple of them once.

At the end of the day one of the students asked me what I taught before I was a mah Jongg teacher. I was not trained as a teacher, technically I was never a real teacher. I was a consultant and taught executive stuff, but that was different and I told her that.

This nice woman was a real teacher and gave me an A+ as a teacher. She said I did an excellent job controlling the class and keeping them all on track and explaining things in a way that made sense. I really appreciate when a real teacher compliments me.

On my drive home I called a Russ to say I was an hour and twenty minutes away and told him about the compliment.

“You have been a teacher before,” he said. “You taught sex education in college.”

Well this fact totally left my mind. I do not consider the stand up routine on sex education I had to give to every student my senior year counted as teaching. I was paid by he counseling center to give these lectures, so it should be considered professional, but it was more of a public service announcement.

Telling boys that if they didn’t know a girl well enough to discuss birth control then he didn’t know her well enough to sleep with her was not exactly teaching. Telling them that if they didn’t know a girls last name, they didn’t know them well enough to sleep with them was just common sense.

The only part of teaching sex education that is anything like being a mah Jongg teacher is the discussion of racks. If you know, you know.

Lost Another Pointer

Any one who has taken a class from me knows about my stick. A long wooden dowel I use as a pointer. I love that wooden dowel. The first one I had cost .49¢. I must have had it for at least five years.

Then something happened to it. It just up and disappeared. I don’t think a student took it. I always promised students I wouldn’t hit them with the stick. I had a bad experience with a ballet teacher, Madame Kruger who used to hit me on the back of the knees with a yard stick when I was eight years old. One day I grabbed it out of her hands mid swing and hit her on the legs. I didn’t have to go back to ballet after that.

When the .49¢ stick disappeared I went back to the hardware store and had topay $3.99 for the same size stick. So sad. I had that one until this summer and now it has vanished.

During the $3.99 era I also had a retractable pointer that I used for airplane travel required classes. It was nice, but not as long and did not act as a cane like my wooden one did.

I lost my first retractable one this year too. I can’t figure out what happens to these things. So I ordered a new replacement and took it with me to Houston. Well I’ve gone off and left it there. That pointer only lasted one class. I think it only cost $5.89.

It not the money, but the frustration on losing my pointers. I got home tonight about 7:15 and have to turn around and leave at 7:00 in the morning for a class this weekend. I need my pointer and I won’t have time to replace it before class. I guess I’ll use a paint paddle until I can stop at a store and get a dowel. I am going to have to order an new retractable one too before I fly off to the Bahamas. Oh, isn’t it ridiculous?

Always a Party

We had two great classes today at the Bayou club in Houston. The beginners played full games and I am happy to report are fully capable of playing now. We had a fabulous lunch between classes where the beginners stayed and ate with the beyond beginners.

Then the beyond beginners came to class. It was a feisty group who were totally engaged. We had some tough hands, with lots of good lessons. Sadly it was their last class as I am only teaching beginner in the morning tomorrow.

After class I found out that tonight’s plans included going to a fabulous Party in the Park for the Menil Museum. Kari invited us as her guests. The evening was perfect to sit under the big live oak tree and stars and enjoy spicy gazpacho with shrimp.

I was lucky to see some young Houstonians, sisters, Maggie and Francis who I taught in the Bahamas. They couldn’t come to class this week due to those little things called jobs. But I was glad to get a chance to catch up.

Nancy and Butch Abendshein have been the most perfect hosts. I am so appreciative for their kindness. I just wish I could repay all these generous people for all they have done for me. It is always fun to come to Houston.

I’m Cold in Warm Houston

It’s warm here in Houston. 85° in mid October sounds warm to me. But I wouldn’t know it was actually warm. I spent the day inside a lovely club where it was quite cool. It was cool in my room that I slept in last night. And tonight we went to a different club for dinner and my hostess Nancy gave me a pashmina because she said it would be cold in the club.

It was freezing in the club, but thankfully we were able to sit outside where it was perfectly 72°. I was lucky enough to not sit next to the open window where the air conditioning was pouring out, cooling off the outside.

It appears that I am getting colder and colder these days. My lack of metabolism is one thing. I used to just always have cold hands, but now all my parts are cold. Even the parts that are the most covered up.

I figure if I can’t be warm in Houston there is no hope for me. I guess I am going to have to start carrying around extra layers. This goes against my “pack as little as possible” ethos.

The Hospitality of Houston

If it’s October I must be in Houston, thanks to Nancy Abendshein for inviting back again this year. She and her friend Kari Dagley have done a yeoman’s amount of work to organize these classes here. To top it all off Nancy is also hosting me at her house. I hope she will not regret this.

Tonight we started with a little Champagne reception at Kari’s store. It was lovely to get to meet some of the lovely women and gentleman who will be coming to class tomorrow.

After the cocktails we went to a fun place for dinner called Rosie Cannonballs in Montrose. The temperature was perfect to sit outside. As Nancy, Kari and Cindy were telling stories about people and places here it seemed as if they all had a relation to Timmons lane. From now I am calling Kari, Kari Timmons.

We stayed out too late laughing and now I need to try and sleep so I can teach all day tomorrow. I am certain I will not get enough rest due to the the extra amount of hospitality from everyone I meet in Houston.

Anne Lamont with Kate Bowler, Live

Weeks ago my friend Sara invited me and Lynn to go to see Anne Lamont be interviewed by Kate Bowler at the Carolina theater. I was thrilled it was for tonight since it was my one day at home before I’m off for days and days.

Sara picked us up and we went to Pizzeria Toro for a quick dinner with the dozens and dozens of other women who were also there before the show. So wonderful to have that time to catch up before we walked around the corner and took our seats. We saw a number of other church women from Westminster there too. No surprise since Anne Lamont is a frozen chosen too.

Kate Bowler is a very good host. She opened the show with an excellent monologue and spilled the beans about a new book she has coming out in April, Joyful Anyway.

Anne Lamont was a joy. One thing that struck me was she said, “We think we are hungry for what we are not getting, but we are really hungry for what we are not giving.”

I hope that this Live event will be broadcast as a podcast because Anne read a poem that might have been called “gate A4,” by another writer whose name escapes me now and I would like to reread it. She also sung the praises of a writer named Maggie Smith, not the dame. It all went by too fast and I couldn’t take notes sitting in they dark theater without annoying other people with the light of my phone. I am so used to watching, listening, or reading something and being able to stop it and rewind and rewatch it, relisten to it or reread it. Doing it live is just harder these days. It means I just have to reread some Anne Lamont as well as Kate’s books.

Change of Plans

We were supposed to stay in Boston until the 8:00 PM flight tonight. The nor’Easter made us change our plans. Normally I would take my chances, but I have to fly to Houston Tuesday for three days of classes with people who have been planning these two classes for months.

I didn’t bring my Mah Jongg teaching equipment to Boston so I couldn’t go straight from Boston to Houston. My fall is too jammed packed for things to go wrong so we cut short our visit.

I am glad we did because we got home without issue. I have looked at the 5;30 flight and it was delay two hours and right now our original flight is delayed over an hour and sometimes that means it just ends up not going at all when it’s late at night. Who knows how long the crew has left on the clock by the end of the day.

Travel is just not easy, but is sure is busy right now. Every seat on every flight is full. We were lucky we were able to change. The good thing is Shay is happy to have us home and I got two loads of laundry done. One less job to do tomorrow when packing for Houston. Of course totally different clothes for Houston than I took to Boston. Thankfully no coats.

When I get home to Houston Friday I don’t have to repack as my next class is Saturday and Sunday in Rocky Mount. That is just driving. I did hear that there are four seats available for the beginner class at Benvenue Country club and non-members can sign up now if you want. I rarely do weekend classes so if you know someone who wants to learn here is the information.

Registration for next weekend’s

Mah-Jongg Lessons

has been extended!

Here are the details:

Dana Lange, Mah-Jongg expert and teacher extraordinaire, will once again be at the club

October 18 and 19 to teach a beginner class.

This weekend class is PERFECT for those that work during the week. Saturday will consist of two,

three-hour sessions with a lunch break in between,

and the final session will be Sunday afternoon.

We WILL allow nonmember guests for these classes, even though nonmembers are not allowed to participate in the club-sponsored

Mah-Jongg group play on Tuesday afternoons

and Wednesday mornings.

We are looking to add club sponsored play

one evening each week and some weekends.

The class includes the following:
* Three sessions — Saturday morning from 9:00 until 12:00, and Saturday afternoon from 1:00 until 4:00, and Sunday afternoon from 1:00 until 4:00
(attendance required for the first session in order to participate in sessions two and three)
* Self-service nonalcoholic beverages and simple snacks available during each session
* Lunch between the first and second sessions on Saturday
* All materials needed to learn and play

Cost:
$160 for members
$180 for nonmember guests

Please make your reservations no later than

Monday, October 13.  A minimum of 20 people is required, and a maximum of 24 people are allowed.

Sign up one time only on Saturday for the entire,

three-session, two-day class.

If you have a nonmember friend or family member

that would like to learn, please have them contact

Mark Brown to register.  You do not need to be

present with your guest, and the club will charge 

your guest directly.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out to Mark Brown if you need assistance signing up or if you have questions.

Mark’s contact information:
(252) 443-2141 ext. 106
mark@benvenuecountryclub.com

Gorgeous Fall Boston Day

You would never know there is a nor’easter coming to Boston tomorrow. It was a perfectly gorgeous day today. We packed as much in as we could today because we moved our flight home up 10 hours.

We met Carter and Claire in Cambridge this morning and went on this two hour architectural boat tour. We had been on the Chicago version and loved it. This was a very cool boat with a great guide, but it was more about history and the history of modern, post-modern and contemporary architecture as well as some random American history thrown in. You must always have an American history lesson anytime you are in Boston.

It was a nice way to spend the morning together. After we drove over to Beacon Hill because Carter still has a beacon hill parking permit. We had lunch outside and enjoyed the sunshine.

Claire went home after lunch to let Norman out. Russ walked the length of Boston and Carter and I went shopping. It was great to have Carter as a stylist and bag carrier. We did some speed shopping on Charles st. Then walked through the Boston Public Gardens to Newbury st. which was packed. We hit two more stores and I said that was more shopping than I had done in a year and gave up.

I went back to the hotel and cleaned up and Carter went home. Russ was concerned about my suitcase capacity after the shopping, but I assured him I had calculated everything.

We walked to the restaurant In the seaport we were meeting the girls at. It was more of a bar inside so it was too loud for us. We decided to brave the cold and eat outside. I was the only one who was cold, but it was a great dinner.

Since it was still early the girls came back to the hotel with us for a drink. It was a big fun day. I cherish these times so much. This was the best birthday present. I think I will ask for this again next year.

Belated Birthday by Five Months

When Russ asked me what I wanted for my Birthday in May I said, “A weekend to visit Carter and Claire.” This is that weekend.”

He got us seats on each side of the aisle since we both like aisle seats. There was a woman waiting at the gate who looked a little familiar and when she got on the plane we looked at each other and said, “I know you.”

“I’m your mah Jongg teacher.” So Irene and I spent the whole flight talking and it was great. At one point we switched seats because both our necks were hurting from turning one way.

We arrived and are staying in the seaport so we dropped our bags at our hotel and walked up to Ocean Prime for lunch. It may be a chain, but it is always good. The best part about it is that when Russ was asking questions the waiter was answering “yes,” before he even got the question out. We love a place where the answer is always “Yes.”

We did a little clothes shopping for me before we walked back to the hotel to freshen up before going to Carter and Claire’s for drinks before dinner. They have done such a cute job on their house. I gave them an early Christmas present of custom made Roman shades and I was so pleased with how they turned out. I really like that they are remote controlled!

Norman, their dog was very happy to see Russ, despite the way Russ was holding. I think Norman just wanted some cheese.

We went to dinner at a bar in the nicest part of their neighborhood. They were having a little Octoberfest so just as the waitress was walking away after taking our order Russ through out to her that he want the pretzel. Nothing makes him happier.

Nothing makes me happier than being with my best girls. We have a big day tomorrow. This is the best birthday present I can ever think of.

Apres Mahj

Last morning in Tallahassee with that fun group. We had morning class that went by in a blink. Sweet Susanne gave me the most perfect “apes Mahj” hat. After class Debbie drove me to the airport and we solved all the world’s problems in one short drive. We decided if mothers just ran the world things would go a lot smoother.

I had two fast flights, both on time and got home at 6 for a quick 13 hours. As I turn around and am back at the airport tomorrow morning to go to Boston to see Carter and Claire. At least it is a direct flight.

So I have unpacked from warm weather and repacked for cool weather. I just need to get seven hours of sleep, please lord..

The World’s Best Job

I shouldn’t say this because I don’t need more competition, but being a mah Jongg teacher is the world’s best job.

This week I am in Tallahassee, Florida thanks to the invitation of Susanne. I met Susanne and her great friend Brandy at my High Hampton’s class in April. Susanne is mah Jongg crazy and thought her friends at home would enjoy my beyond beginner class. It is my favorite class to teach because it is helping people learn how to think, not just learn rules.

Susanne invited me and Brandy’s dear Mom Debbie volunteered her guest house. So I quickly made friends with Debbie and have the absolute best time with these ladies.

Today 24 friends showed up at Susanne’s beautiful house and we had a full day of class. We took a break for a yummy lunch, not that we needed to after the giant continental breakfast spread that was out during the morning part of class. The one thing I will say is no one is going hungry at class.

So after six hours the official class was over, but anyone who could stay did for more mah jongg playing. Debbie did a great job of beating me twice. We changed tables and played some more. Finally it got down to Susanne, and her best friend from Vero Tracy and me playing, just one more game. Everyone had a chance to beat the teacher!

We were late to dinner with Brandy and Debbie because of just one more game. It was a very fun dinner, but finally by 8:30 we hit the wall. We had to go home to rest because we are doing it again tomorrow morning. Brandy texted everyone to say get to class early. I have a flight at 1:49 and we need to get in as much learning as possible.

Why is this the best job? You just get to make new friends every week and play a game.

New Friends, New City

I flew to Tallahassee this morning. Not the easiest place to get to even though it is the capital of Florida. I had made two friends at one of my High Hampton’s classes, Susanne and Brandy, who live here. Susanne invited me to come teach and has gone all out for this class.

She picked me up at the airport and we went to lunch before going to her house to do the tech set up. She had cleared out her living room and set up tables and chairs and had everything I needed for the class. She is now the proud owner of a giant magnetic white board. And her AV guy came and we put a new giant TV above the fireplace so I have full screen capabilities.

She also bought 6 new standard mah Jongg sets so everyone would have the exact same tiles. We had to open them up to set up the games. While I was doing that I came across the strangest thing. One set came with five 9 cracks and three 8 cracks. It was a good thing I was setting up the tiles because any regular person could have totally missed that. I am not exactly sure how that happened, but we put a piece of tape on the extra 9 and wrote “8” on it. I guess Chinese quality control is not what it used to be.

After the set up Susanne drove me to Brandy’s mother’s house where I am staying in her guest house. It is the most perfect serene little two bed room house. Debra, Brandy’s mom, was not home when I got here and Susanne let me in and made sure I was all set up.

I was tired and felt a little dirty from flying so I decided to take a shower before dinner. I got undressed and went to turn on the shower. I turned all the handles and no water came out. I ran the water in the sink and it worked fine, so I thought it wasn’t a water issue. I looked all around the bath room for some kind of switch. I couldn’t find anything.

So I went to the other bathroom on the other side of the living room. That shower had a different handle set up. I tried that and no water came out. So I went back to my first shower. Standing naked in the shower with my reading glasses on I studied the faucet. I pushed things I thought could be buttons, but were actually screw covers. Nothing worked.

I texted Susanne. She texted Debra, who was home by now. Remember, I have not met her yet. So she came and knocked on the door. I threw On my night gown and went to the door. She could not have been nicer. She showed me that you have to pull the handle out to get the water started. Never in my life…

We got a big kick out of my ignorance. I did take a lovely shower and then took a little nap before Debra got me to go to dinner. We had the most fun with Susanne, Brandy and Susanne’s best friend from Vero Beach.

It’s going to be a fun few days in Tallahassee. I love making new friends in a new city.

Trying on Clothes is a Lot of Work

I am not a hoarder. Except for expensive clothes that no longer fit me. Or used to not fit me. I have multiple closets I call my closests of dreams. They are full of clothes that I used to be able to fit that I still like. Thankfully I have kept them. Turns out I fit into lots of them now.

I have lost a bunch of weight and have been cycling down through my closets of dreams. The closets are not well organized by size. They generally have like sizes together, but suits and jackets are in a different closet from dresses, and blouses are throughout. Pants, well they are every where.

Before I went to Maine I did a big try on of my primary closet and tried to take things out that were too big. Now I need to do that again, but it is such a boring job.

As I am anticipating cooler weather I went today to try some things on from secondary and tertiary closests. They mostly hold things I have not been able to fit in for years. Since I tend to wear the most classic of styles it turns out most of the good things I have kept are still wearable, if I dusted them off. I also have most styles of jeans and they seem to be fine. Thankfully I never liked low rise jeans.

I found a beautiful coat Russ bought me in Paris probably a decade ago and I am looking forward to wearing it again when it gets cold enough. My issue is I also have a number of warm climate trips in November, January and February so I still need to keep a summer wardrobe I fit into. This means trying on all kinds of clothes.

One would think trying on smaller sized clothes that fit would be a joy. It’s nothing but boring to me. I have not bought new clothes because I don’t want to invest in anything that I hopefully won’t be able to wear in two months. So to the closets of dreams I must go. I should have started this job last week. Now I am going to Florida tomorrow with just my same old summer clothes. Thankfully these people don’t know me so it won’t matter that I am wearing the same things over and over again.

Come to think of it, even the people who know me see me in the same old items over and over again since I have them in many sizes. I guess as my size changes, but my style stays the same, I look the same. Really doesn’t matter. As a more than middle aged woman no one is looking at me anyway. Thank goodness, because I might be wearing some very old clothes. They are all blue and white anyway.

Protect the Precious

This fall I have a half dozen classes that involve travel. These days I have quite a few props I bring to my classes. The large format Mah Jongg tiles I painted are my most valuable tool. I have large format mah Jongg cards printed on giant magnets that I can put up on a white board. They are so big they have to travel in a tube. There are my magnets for the tile cards and my retractable pointer. I need my I-pad and in some cases also my computer, along with all the needed cables.

All these things are very precious to me and so they must go as carry on. I also bring my carry-on suitcase as I very rarely check a bag.

I needed to find a back pack that could act as my personal item on planes. All summer I searched the internet and read reviews. Finally I settled on the bag from Wandrd that is used by travel vloggers who carry lots of camera equipment.

So this week will be my first flight with my new system. I pray that it all goes smoothly. I am most looking forward to having all my heavy stuff in a pack that I carry on my back or roll on my suitcase. There is no way out of bringing this heavy stuff. It must be protected.

Saturday Drudgery

Some Saturdays are made for errands. Russ and I went to early voting at the new Board of a elections. It was fast and easy and very big since it is in the old grocery store building on MLK by the DMV. Not big races, but all elections are important these days. Since it was just the primary, we will be back to vote next month in the final election.

From there we went to our grocery store to get our vaccines. I had already gotten flu, but needed Covid and pneumonia. Russ got all three. We had to wait a little bit as there were 4 people in front of us. It was not a problem. I have a lot of travel coming up and would like to be vaccinated before all those flights.

Getting those vaccines all at the same time wiped us out a little. I took a nap as soon as I got home. I didn’t mean to, just passed out with Shay snuggled up beside me. Then I woke up and Shay went to snuggle with Russ and he passed out. You would think it was Shay who had the vaccinations.

I saw a great sign today. Vaccinations make adults. Trust science.

When we got home from our errands we had a box from goldbelly on the front porch. Russ’ team sent him crab cakes for his birthday. Yay, dinner was taken care of. It also came with a cute crab t-shirt. Thanks CMG people.

Kindness and Good Manners

It’s nice to know that in these times some manners still remain. Russ and I hosted 36 mostly new or newish members of our church for a dinner at our house Sunday. As very old members of the church we did not know most of these people well. They ranged in age from “on walkers” to “having little ones just learning how to walk.”

Not all of them have always been Presbyterians as they come to our church from many different back grounds. But I will say they all have very good manners as is no surprise for Presbyterians. A good number brought us a hostess gift. This was totally unnecessary, but very polite.

Then in the last two days we have received a whole bunch of hand written thank you notes in the mail. To me this is a big deal as I am often very late on mailing someone a thank you note. First you have to write it and then the hard part, you have to find a stamp or these days, stamps, that equal the going rate. If you know what the going rate is.

The country may be coming apart at the seams, but I am ever thankful for the sanctuary of our little church and the family it creates. We are a very progressive group. I find it awful what Christian Nationals have co-opted religion and work against what Jesus actually stood for.

I am not letting those kind of people change what I follow according to the motto of our little Presbyterian Church. Micah 6:8 “What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and walk humbly with your God.” And to apparently to write thank you notes.

Happy Birthday Russ

Happy birthday to the best husband I could ever have. I don’t know how I was so lucky to have you in my life, but I am thankful everyday.

Mostly I am happy that you always have my back. Hoping we have so many more birthdays together.

Hand Writing

When I was a kid I did have good hand writing. As an adult I still don’t have beautiful hand writing. What I do have is legible hand writing. I don’t write in cursive, although I learned in it school and thankfully can read it.

When I was in boarding school I had a friend whose mother had the most beautiful hand writing I had ever seen. She had been raised in Mississippi in a wealthy family in the thirties. She also was a great pianist. I suspect social graces of her time and place required a young lady of her standing to have good manner and the hand writing to go along with it.

She wrote me a couple letters after I visited their home and I treasured them for the artistry of the handwriting as well as the kind words that flowed out of the fountain pen they were written with. This was the late seventies. The bic pen was king, but not for this gentle lady from Mississippi.

Every week I ask my new students to write their name and email in my book I keep my class lists in. I beg them to write the email so I can read it. When I get home and go to type in the addresses to the email I promised to send them I find that one out of five of the emails are unreadable. Sometimes people forget to put .com and I can figure that out. But once in a while the name in the email is spelled differently that the name attached to it. I use the email address as it was written and when it bounces back undeliverable I try using the spelling of the name. Lo and behold, that works. The writer misspelled their own name in their email address.

The worst thing is when people have the number 1 or the lowercase l in their address and it is not part of a name. Unless they make the 1 with a little flag on the top, rather than just a straight line it is impossible to decipher it from a lower case l. If they have a zero and an upper case O, 0 and O it is impossible to tell what they actually meant unless they strike through the zero.

If the gentle lady from Mississippi was still alive, I am certain I would have no problem reading her email address, even in her flowery hand. Each letter was distinct, spaced perfectly from the next one. I never had trouble telling a lower case z from a lower case y in her script, although I had plenty of trouble writing them myself.

The art of beautiful hand writing is long gone. If I had nothing else to do I would practice my hand writing and try and improve it, but I fear that is time I don’t have. For now, I will just try and make it as legible as possible because I know too well the trauma bad hand writing causes the reader.

Enough is Enough

On the eve of a government shutdown down is ridiculous when the republicans control both houses and the presidency. They control everything, but refuse to barley talk to the other side and work out a budget. Considering they are the party of doge they keep spending money for things no one needs.

Let’s start with bringing 800 all top military leaders to Quantico at the same time for a face to face talking down to. Not only did they do it, but they announced well in advance they were doing it. Strategically you should never let your enemies know you don’t have any leaders out in the field. Even worse, one well timed attack on Quantico could have been the most disastrous military incident in history.

The reported cost of this meeting was over $6 million to get everyone from all over the world on short notice, when the military has excellent secure zoom like technology that could have held this meeting for practically no cost. The only good thing to come from it was the lack of response from the military leaders who sat stoically as they were lectured to by people far less qualified.

Being told by the commander that they should practice military drills in American cities on Americans had to be horrifying. The military is supposed to protect American not attack them.

Then we have the giant banners of dear leader being unfurled on government buildings. We can’t feed starving children, or do research on childhood cancer, but we spend untold dollars feeding the never ending ego of dear leader.

Farmers who overwhelmingly voted for this regime are realizing they can’t get workers and if they do get product out of the fields they can’t sell most of it as their foreign markets have all gone elsewhere.

Dear leader keeps trying to convince people that prices and inflation are not up, but no one who actually goes to the grocery store believes him. It’s time for everyone to contact own congressmen and tell them to do their jobs. Stop enabling this lame ass to continue to ruin the country. Congress is supposed to be a check, not a blank check. No one person is supposed to be able to do whatever the hell he wants. They all work for us. Make sure they know it.

Lovely Ladies Of Henderson

A while back I got a call from a woman in Henderson who really wanted an all day beginner class. I had very few days to offer her, but it turned out that today would work. These woman were happy to come to my house for the class. This was very helpful for me since I had a big party at my house last night.

They arrived early. Got right to work and paid excellent attention. Cramming in all the information in a day is hard work. Don’t believe anyone who tells you they can teach you to play Mah Jongg in 2 or even four hours. If you sign up for a two hour beginner class just know you not being taught by a qualified teacher. No real mah Jongg teacher will tell you you can learn everything in two hours.

We took a short break for lunch as everyone brought their own bag lunches. The students were much more prepared than I w as. I still had to open a can of tuna and dump it in my leftover salad.

By the end for the day the women had learned the tiles, learned how to read the card. Learned how to sort their tiles. Learned how to do the Charleston and its importance. Learned how the play of the game went. Played four hands each and learned how to play online. All in all I was very happy with their progress and the fact that they could pay such close attention all day.

I know they were brain dead by the time it was over. I just hope they got home safely during rush hour.

Church Supper

Months ago my pastor Chris asked us if we would host a new member dinner at our house. He was used to having church dinners at our house over the years so he knew I would agree. Russ likes when I agree to these things because it means I am going to cook. I like that I agree to these things because it makes me clean things up.

The good thing about a church dinner is there is always a committee to help. So I did not have to make desert, salads or garlic bread. The bad thing was the staff member who was helping with the sign up for volunteering double assigned garlic bread so we had enough for each person to have a quarter of a loaf.

After getting all the dietary restrictions I settled on making jambalaya. I only had to make one pot with just shrimp for the people who don’t eat meat and two giants vats for everyone else that had andouille sausage, chicken and shrimp. Sadly my friend Grey never turned in his shrimp allergy and didn’t tell me until the last minute when I literally had just added the shrimp.

We had a big turn out of 36 people, which was exactly the number of RSVPs. That never happens like that. Even with the exact number I had a whole extra pot of jambalaya left over. The committee went home with take out containers full of it.

I was especially thankful for the young members who stayed and washed the dishes. They all had babysitters and didn’t want to go home before the kids were asleep. The only thing left in the sink were the Dutch ovens soaking. The house is fairly much back to normal which I am thankful for since I have an out of town group coming here for an all day mah Jongg class first thing in the morning. Thankfully, not as many mah Jongg players as came for dinner tonight.

Little Brown Dog Meets Her Cousin

When I was a baby I went for a play date at my Cousin, Brady Pottenger’s house. My daddy is allergic to most dogs. He says that when he met Brady as a puppy he realized he was not allergic to Brady. So thanks to Brady, Mommy got me from the same family that Brady came from.

I loved Brady. He was always nice to me and I learned a lot from him. I especially love Brady’s Mommy and Daddy and they are always nice to me. Sadly Brady crossed the rainbow bridge a couple years ago. Everyone misses Brady.

A couple weeks ago the Pottengers got a new baby from the same family that Brady and I came from. They named him Dash Riprock. Today I went over to his house for a play date to meet him.

First, he is well named. He Dashed all around me and he wanted to play. I am an old lady. I don’t rough house. I liked him. Second, he is very cute and very fluffy. My Mommy says he was so soft. I think I did a good job wearing him out for his Mommy and Daddy because he ran around the play room in circles for a good 45 minutes.

My Mommy tried to get a picture of us together, but Dash did not stand still much. Supposedly he is going to be about my size when he is full grown. Maybe then we can get a photo of the little white dog with his little brown cousin side by side when he learns to stay still.

I might have to go babysit him and teach him to be quiet. But he is still a baby and a boy. They take longer to learn. Mostly, I am very happy that I have a new cousin at he Pottengers. That makes Sara and Dave my Aunt and Uncle.

Fun Night Out

For over a year and a half I have been teaching regularly at Home for Entertaining in Cary. They are a most wonderful family owned business that is part gift & home wares store and part entertainment venue that offers cooking classes along with Mah Jongg classes and other fun activities.

Up until tonight I have only been a teacher there. But tonight I became a guest. Russ signed us up for a Chinese Cooking class with a chef Wendy. We arrived before the class started and surprised Meghan, one of the owners. Russ had signed up under his name for two people so they did not know I was coming.

Chef Wendy was a delight. We had so much fun and I got to cook with her. The other class members were interesting and it made for a very fun experience and delicious dinner.

It was enjoyable to be just a student and not a teacher at Home for entertaining. If you are looking for a great evening that is not just going out to dinner, look into the classes at Home for Entertaining. The warmth and hospitality of the staff and the quality of the offerings make it a recipe for success.

Www.homeforentertaing.comhttp://www.homeforentertaining.com

My Daughters

Apparently it’s national daughter’s day. Everyday in our house is national daughters day, but I want my most wonderful daughters to know I think they are the best. I have the daughter who made me a mother, Carter and the daughter who made me a mother-in-law Claire and I love them both.

When I was pregnant I found out early on I was having a daughter which was exactly what I wanted. I told Russ that I needed someone who was going to be OK doing arts and crafts and cooking and playing games with me. I am not sporty and worried that if she was a boy I was going to be a terrible mother.

Then I got Carter. She liked arts and crafts, and cooking and playing games, but she also loved horses and play basketball. So I had to get good at sitting in the bleachers. For the record I did needlepoint a lot in those bleachers.

Now we have Claire who is sportier than anyone else in the family. Thankfully she also likes games. Not so sure about arts and crafts. She has been a great addition to the family.

What I really treasure is how kind and thoughtful my girls are. I am also proud of how hard they work and that they value community. So happy National daughters day to both my daughters. I love you.

Kindness on the Coast

This week I am in Wilmington teaching. My friends Lane and Jon have been so generous to put me up yet again. Since I taught an afternoon and a night class I was out most of the time. It is just so great to come back to their sweet house and have a comfortable place to unwind.

My first two days were at the Cape Fear Country club. This is my return visit. The good thing about that is I have return students. I love when I get to teach the same people and we get to become friends. These ladies are so wonderful to me. (they are probably wonderful to everyone.)

I especially appreciated Mary for treating me to dinner tonight and to Carol Ann for joining us. The hardest part about breezing in to teach for a couple days and rushing home is I really would like to spend more time with the new friends I make.

One thing about me though, is I have no shame in calling people up to say when I am in their area and asking to get together with them. This is something I think people don’t do much anymore. I wish people did it more.

I have to say that when I do call people they almost always will get together and seem happy that I initiated the reunion.

When you live in a vacation spot it might get tiring if you have a lot of visitors, but life is short. We don’t have any idea how many more times you are going to be in a certain place and get a chance to spend time with friends, new or old. I am ever thankful for the kindness of old and new friends.

Christmas Planning

I just barley got home from Maine and now I am thinking about Christmas. Carter and Claire are going to be coming to our house for Thanksgiving, but not for Christmas. This is the give and take that happens when your child joins another family. I love Claire and her family and they are so great to Carter so it makes me happy. So this year I get Thanksgiving.

Since I only get Thanksgiving, I am starting to plan for Christmas too. I am going to morph Thanksgiving and Christmas together into one week. This is not such a bad plan from me since I have a crazy busy December. In order to have Christmas and Thanksgiving I am going to have to decorate the whole house for Christmas before Thanksgiving. I’m not mad about it. This means that I will not be spending my Thanksgiving weekend decorating. It is very helpful since my first Christmas party is December 1.

Let’s back up even further. I need to get some help getting the tree up and the decorations out of the attic as I won’t have Carter to help and Russ would love the help. I need to hire a man or two to help do all this lifting. So my thinking about Christmas now I am hoping someone reading this knows some men who I could hire November 14 or 15. Sounds crazy early, but I have to fit in the decorating between going to the Bahamas to teach and to going to DeBordieu to teach.

My October and November I am going to teach in the following far away places, Tallahassee, Irvington, Va, Houston, Lyford and South Carolina. This leaves little time at home to make these arrangements. It is a good thing I have a minute to think about it now while I am in Wilmington. I really should have thought about it while I was in Maine, but I didn’t know then that I was getting Carter for Thanksgiving and not Christmas.

I need to start planning for Thanksgiving 2026 now, since I won’t be getting the girls then. Shit, I need presents too. There is not enough time to plan.

Tres Leches Cake

It was a friend’s birthday last week. I am in a small group that gets together a couple of times and we celebrate birthdays when we do. It was my time to bake the celebration cake. The baker and the type of cake are always a surprise, but we try and do something the birthday girl would like. Our group likes lemon and almond and those have been done a bunch. So I decided to make a Tres Leches Cake.

I have never made one before and frankly had only eaten one a couple of times so I didn’t have a lot of prior knowledge. I am not certain how true to Tres Leches this turned out, but the birthday girl gave it five stars out of five.

I am posting it here so I don’t forget how I made it.

I don’t speak Spanish, but I know Tres is three and Leches are milks. So to start you have to make the three milks component, which you are going to pour over the sheet cake to soak in.

1 14 oz. Can of sweetened condensed Milk

1 12 oz can of evaporated milk

1 cup of heavy cream

1 t. Vanilla

Pour the sweetened Condensed milk into a small sauce pan and place over a medium flame. Bring it to a boil, stirring with a rubber spatula. Once it comes to a boil turn into down to a tiny simmer and cook it, stirring, until the mixture darkens to a light caramel color and thickens up a little. It will take a few minutes. Add the vanilla and cook another 15 seconds to cook off the alcohol.

Remove from heat and slowly whisk in the Evaporated milk and then the heavy cream. Set the pan aside and bake the cake.

Grease a 9×13 pan. Preheat oven to 350°

Cake

1 stick of butter

1 c. Whole milk

2 t. vanilla

2 cups flour

2 t. Baking powder

1 t. Salt

1 t. Ground cinnamon

4 large eggs

2 c. Sugar

In a small sauce pan place the butter, milk and vanilla and set on medium heat. Cook until the butter is melted.

While that is heating mix the flour, baking powder, salt and cinnamon in a container

In a stand mixer beat the eggs and once beaten start adding the sugar while the beater is on high about a 1/4 cup at a time. Once you have added all the sugar beat for 6 minutes.

After the eggs are beaten add the milk/melted butter and mix for 30 seconds. Then add half the flour and mix 30 second, the second half of flour and mix on medium slow until incorporated.

Pour the batter into the oblong pan and bake in the middle of the oven for 30-35 minutes.

When done let cake rest in the pan for ten Minutes. Remove cake from pan and place on platter because once this cake is soaked it can’t be moved.

Using a skewer, poke holes about 1 inch apart, but only half way through the thickness of the cake, all over he top of the cake. Slowly pour the three milks over the top of the cake so that it soaks into the holes. You may have some milk run down the sides of the cake which is fine.

Cover the cake and chill at least 3 hours, but overnight is better.

Whipped cream topping.

1 c. Heavy cream

1/4 c. Sugar.

In the stand mixer beat the heavy cream, adding a little sugar at a time until the cream forms peaks.

Spread the whipped cream over the top of the cake.

I also added sliced nectarines to make cake, which were a nice foil to the sweetness.

A Book You Should Read

My friend Suzanne strongly suggested I read a book called Careless People, written by a Kiwi named Sarah Wynn-Williams. Since Suzanne is an avid reader of the highest quality I always listen to her and downloaded the book on audible on my way to Maine.

The book is a non-fiction account of Sarah’s time working at Facebook starting in about 2014. She was a policy nerd who saw Facebook’s potential in the political world. She lobbied hard to get the job in the hopes of setting up good governance for Facebook. What unfolds in the story of her years being close to the top brass at Facebook is more than disturbing to say the least.

For her sake I hope she has excellent security. If anything happens to her the book will serve as a blueprint of who did it.

I highly recommend that you read this important work as it helped me understand the mindset behind much of the oligarchy, that we really can’t afford to ignore.

It will be interesting to see if this blog gets blocked on Facebook as all my blogs get linked there. There is nothing Facebook can do about my actual blog since I pay for my site and it has nothing to do with them, but after reading this book I have little trust in them.

Russ’ New Wheels

In July I wrote a blog for the 17th Anniversary of Russ’ Smart car. I never should have done that. The day afterward, literally the day after, Russ was driving the Smart, with Shay in car, and the transmission died. I was out of town in the middle of a mah Jongg class. I called Lynn. Who went to save Shay while Russ waited for AAA to come take his car to the dealership.

The prognosis came back that the Smart, which was worth about $50 to anyone other than Russ needed a $5,000 transmission. I had to be the bad guy that said the Smart was rally dead. The dealership said it was a sad day since the baby Smart was in perfect condition. Russ loved that Smart.

Since then I have been trying to get him to find a car he wanted. Nothing appealed to him as he was still morning the smart. In true Russ fashion all the cars he is interested in are still in the design stage. He find an electric tiny truck that is not due to go into production for three years. That is just too long for him to wait for a new car.

After looking at all the options online while we were in Maine he finally decided he just wanted a used RAV-4 to hold him over until that potential electric truck. So the answer was to call Mike Martin at Massey Toyota in Kinston since they were the easiest car buying experience I have ever had when we bought my Highlander.

So today we packed Shay up in the car and drove down to Kinston. They had a white RAV that fit Russ’ white car streak. It was as easy a purchase as our first Massey Toyota. Thank goodness Russ now has a car.

I’ll Suffer With Splenda

The only problem with being in Maine the first two weeks of September every year is I miss Lynn’s birthday. We are the kind of friends who can celebrate on any day, but I hate to go too far past her birthday. We tried for Monday, but it did not work out so finally today I was able to do our traditional Thai Cafe Birthday so she could have coconut cake.

We practically had the place to ourselves which is good so we can catch up on all the comings and goings that went on while I was away. I hardly bothered any other patrons as I let out a large gasp upon hearing shocking news. Not that shocking. Just fun with Lynn.

There was only one problem at lunch. I ordered my standard Iced Tea, extra lemon and when the sweetener was placed on the table it was all yellow. Shock and horror. I looked in my purse for the zippered Marblehead hand prints blue and white canvas pouch where I keep spare sweet n’low, along with band aids, dental floss and aleve. I found almost all the regular stuff, plus a trial sized tube of hand lotion and some tums, but no sweet n’ low.

So I reached into the depths of my woven Bali purse my sister had given me 15 Christmases ago. Certainly there must be a spare sweet n’ low packet floating around amongst the faded receipts and random coins. My fingers lingered over something that was more than a slip of paper. I pulled it up from the inner sanctum of the bag. No. It was a tag from a vineyard vines belt I had bought in Boston to keep my pants up.

Six weeks of being on the road had depleted my sweet n’ low supply. It seems fewer and fewer places are offering the pink packets in favor of only offering one brand of sweetener.

I reluctantly looked at Lynn and said. “I am going to have to suffer with Splenda.” This tickled her. Oh what difficult lives we have when the worst thing we face is no sweet n’ low. Keeps our minds off the universal hell of the daily news in America.

So Many Non-Experts In Charge

I had my check up today with my Doctor. Thankfully I am very healthy. While I was there she asked me if I wanted to get my flu shot. Absolutely! I also asked about my Covid shot and she said yes, but unfortunately they didn’t have any on site. I will have to make an appointment at the pharmacy for that.

I am so happy to have a doctor that believes in vaccines and has been a medical professional long enough to have lived through believing in trusting experts.

I am especially worried about what is going to happen to the children of America with the current posse of idiots running HHS. Today’s changing of the childhood vaccination recommendations has huge potential of harming a generation of children. As if they don’t have enough to worry about with guns and social media.

I am wondering what future doctors are going to learn when they don’t have good national advice on what is the best care.

The idea that we leave these decisions up to parents is crazy. Smart parents know to ask experts, uneducated parents can make poor decisions. Poor medical decisions can have life long consequences. Getting measles, which could be completely preventable, can change the course of a child’s life. It’s too late to educate yourself once your child has it. How many parents are going to say, “I would have given them the vaccine if I had only known?”

I hope that North Carolina puts legislation in place to cover for what Kenedy is screwing up. We can’t follow such an unqualified person off this cliff. We have got to find a way to stop these Non-Experts from being in charge.

Celebrate the Constitution

Today in 1787 the US constitution was signed. Seems like all Americans should have to read the document. I worry that some freedoms guaranteed in the constitution are being trampled, especially the freedom of speech.

It appears that more and more people are losing their jobs over exercising their freedom of speech. This is very concerning and we all need to fight to keep this right.

Thin skinned people wanting to take your right away, while keeping theirs need to be held to account. We should not be cowed into being afraid to speak our mind. That is how authoritarian regimes take control. There is strength in numbers. Continue to exercise your constitutional rights.

My Robert Redford Brush

Outside of David Cassidy and Bobby Sherman, my first star crush was Robert Redford. I was 12 years old when both The Sting and The Way We Were came out. Robert Redford was the perfect 12 years old old girl’s fantasy of what a boyfriend should be. He was cute and funny and seemed oh so approachable.

I lived in Connecticut, in the next town over from Westport, where Paul Newman, Redford’s best movie star buddy lived. I knew one of Newman’s daughters, Lizzie and would hear about visits by “Bob.” We were not close enough that I ever got to hang at her house when Bob would come by.

When my father went to work at Warner Amex, the cable company that became Time Warner I finally had a real life encounter with Robert Redford. Warner Brothers owned the cable company with American Express. My Dad’s office in Manhattan was the Warner Brother’s NY offfice. One day when I was in college, I was going in the building to see my Dad and as I was approaching the revolving door to his building I saw a blond, not very tall man in blue jeans entering the revolving door from the inside.

He was immediately recognizable as Robert Redford. Rather than enter the revolving door as I was poised to do, I froze. Standing just outside it on the sidewalk. This meant that when Mr. Redford revolved out he practically ran right into me as I should have gone in before he got out. I didn’t mean to do this. I was just so star struck I could hardly move.

He said, “Pardon me,” as he breezed by me, not touching me in any way. I said nothing, still frozen. I am certain my mouth must have been agape. When I finally recovered I went in to my Father’s office and told him I almost ran into Robert Redford on the sidewalk. My Dad said he had heard they were trying to get him from something, and I was quite excited. Turned out Warner Brother’s never landed him and so my hope of actually meeting him went out the window.

A few years later when my Dad went to work for MCI and was casting movie stars in commercials. I begged him to get Robert Redford. No such luck, he got Burt Lancaster and Joan Rivers. I got to meet them, they were no Robert Redford.

On this sad Day when the world no longer has Robert Redford in it I will always think of him as THE MOVIE STAR. I think I need to go watch Out of Africa right now.

Shay Needs Food

Having a dog who is not food motivated is one thing. Having a dog who is a picky eater is another. But having a dog who is a picky eater who does not eat everyday is a problem. At 14 Shay is getting too thin. She does not like most foods and she needs to eat more.

I took her to the vet for some tests for other aging issues, but we always end up talking about her weight and how to find food she will eat. There are no commercial foods she will eat. I have spent a fortune trying foods only to have her turn her nose up at all of them.

We buy human food and cook for her. The problem comes that she will like a food, say steak, one day and then not the next. Our vet says there may be a nutrition program at the vet school that can give us menus. Menus are fine, but if Shay does not like the taste it does not matter how nutritious it is.

Tonight I did luck into getting Shay to eat a bunch of peanut butter with her steak and cheese and a milk bone. It was a good eating night. At least it was caloric.

Problems such as this we don’t have in our house of humans. Who knew that a dog could be such a food diva. She hates going to the vet. If I told her she would not have to go if only she would eat I would do that.

Home Again, Home Again

Vacation is wonderful. Going away for five and a half weeks is rejuvenating. But coming home is great. There is nothing better than sleeping in our own bed. Eating in our own kitchen. Showering in our own shower.

I spent the day unpacking, cleaning up and laying low. Tomorrow I will renter the world. Today there is nothing to report.

Russ and His Dad

Living far away from his Dad is hard. Russ does not have many opportunities to see his Dad, so stopping to see him on our way home from Maine is a good time. Marty, Russ’ Dad is very generous to us. He goes out of his way to be hospitable and I am certain I disappoint him, but not enjoying the donuts he loves.

There is nothing Marty likes more than having his children all around him as he did last night. He also loves to create photo compositions putting us all together. He gave us this one this morning.

I am happy to document Russ and his Dad together.

Amazing Intersection

Russ packed the car as I checked every drawer and closet. We had to make an early getaway from Owl’s head because we had a breakfast date in York, Maine. My friend from college, Jamie Karp Stone, who lives in Washington State was meeting us in York, ME. The chances of us intersecting somewhere between North Carolina and Washington State, was unlikely, but it just happened to be in Maine.

Jamie and her husband and her dog Charlie drove across the country to spend a month or two in New Hampshire. They just got there as we were just leaving Maine. We found one hour that worked. Amazing.

We met at Stonewall kitchen because they had outdoor seating and it was literally right off the highway. Jamie had been to Durham once to visit, but Russ was traveling so this was the first time they had met. It was so great. She had no trouble convincing Russ that we needed to visit them in Washington. It was too quick a visit, but we had a big long drive today.

We left Owl’s Head at 8:00 am and pulled into his father’s house in Bucks County PA just before 8:00 PM. Russ’ brother Dave was here and then his sister Nancy and her husband Tom came by. So we had everyone together, except Tasha, Dave’s wife. It was a good little reunion.

Shay eventually demanded to go to bed and I went with her. It was a long day, but at least we are more than half way home and we got to see fun people.