Dichotomy

I had a round table meeting at the Food Bank today. We gathered some thought leaders to learn about where things stand and the state of Food Insecurity in our third of North Carolina. It was striking how bad the food deserts are in poor and rural areas. But poor is not limited to rural. Wake country where there is a high concentration of wealth has more poor people than many counties down east have people.

High cost of living hits people in the food wallet because it is the area of their budget which is variable. So more people are in need than ever, especially the very young and very old.

One thing that is frustrating is the fact that the farm bill has not been passed in DC. The farm bill historically has been a non-partisan issue. But the lack of getting anything done in congress along with the people who just say no to everything, controlling a portion of one party, means they are not doing their jobs and passing bills.

We will never end hunger, but it would be nice to have politicians in DC like Wake County Commission Matt Calabria who was at the meeting today trying to help the issue. The local people know what the needs are, but the DC people are too far from their constituents.

After the meeting, I went and taught a private lesson before I went to teach a class. I made a stop at Cameron Village before my class. I was a sitting in my car watching a man in a new Rolls Royce SUV trying to park. He pulled into a spot and got out and walked around the behemoth of a vehicle to make sure that if the 20 year old Toyota he parked next to could not hit his car with their door. He was not satisfied and got back in the Rolls and maneuvered it over a few more inches. He got out and checked again. He moved it a third time.

I sat in my car watching this whole thing. I thought, if you have such a valuable car that you can’t park it in public what’s the point? All that work, just to park. I hoped that guy spent as much time thinking about important issues and maybe helping the world, even just a little.

The world needs a lot of help.

Mah Jongg, What Else

Thanks to the wonderful people at Benvenue Country club, we had a great new card class in Rocky Mount today. Not only did we have a wonderful class of students, but we had a fun Asian Themed dinner following the class. Thanks to Catherine Combs for bringing me to Benvenue originally and introducing me to the kind people there.

There is nothing I love more than seeing the progress that people are making in their game play. It makes it so much more fun to become a more proficient player.

I get a lot of inquires from single people who want to learn to play, but are not part of a group, or a club. I try and find ways I can plug them in. My biggest challenge is having enough time for all the people who want to learn.

A small business in Cary is hosting Beginner classes at their store. It’s called A Home for entertaining. I will be teaching there in the evenings of June 11-13. If you have been trying to get into a class, this is a good opportunity. Here is the link to sign up home for Entertaining Mah Jongg.

Tomorrow I’m back at Meredith College teaching their alumnae the second of their three beginner classes. Gotta love a girls school offering Mah Jongg as a Alumnae activity. I told them yesterday I felt right at home since I went to a girls prep school. I did think it would be OK if we all wore our Lanz Night gowns to class.

Wishing all you players lots of jokers.

The Payment was Out of Charachter

It’s already been a busy week. Today I gardened this morning, went to lunch with my friend Jeanne and taught a lovely group of Meredith Alumnae Mah Jongg. I have had little time to catch up on the news, but I have been thinking about the Trump trial.i heard yesterday that Trump might have even claimed that he is innocent because he didn’t even sleep with Stormy Daniel’s.

If that is possibly part of his defense I have the full proof prosecutorial rebuttal to that farce. The DA needs to put on the witness stand a large group of people whom Trump did not pay for services rendered. Allegedly there are numerous contractors who did work for Trump over the years, who despite contracts and services rendered when the bills came due he refused to pay what he owed. His response was these small contractors could sue him to get what he owed them.

That being well known Business as usual for the guy makes you wonder why he would pay Stormy Daniel’s and Karen’s McDougal a cent if he really didn’t do what they claim he did. Now Cohen was the one who made the cruel payments to them and Trump then reimbursed Cohen and called those payments something else, thus the falsifying the records. But given his history of not paying what he owes, it would be normal business as usual not to repay Cohen, if he didn’t really do the acts Cohen was paying to cover up.

The fact that Trump paid is the proof of his guilt, because he is a man who tried to never pay. Generosity is not an adjective ever uttered in the same breath with him.

A Seesaw of a Day

My day started in the sweetest possible way. Megan Ketch came over for breakfast and brought her darling son Leon. Megan was Carter’s Nanny when Carter was just a little older than Leon. Megan started the summer before her Freshman year at UNC and stayed with us for as long as she was in Chapel Hill. Carter was Megan’s first baby, so it was so wonderful to see her finally with her own baby. Megan said her car drove itself here as she practically lived with us for years.

Leon, not quite two, is a joy. He could not have been more curious, and tender hearted, but also brilliant as he picked up a coaster that had the number four on it and he said, “four.” I should not be surprised as Megan is the best teacher and sweetest Mama.

We laughed all about her years with us and how sad I was when she moved to NYC, which is where she was meant to be. It was the best way to start the day.

No sooner had Megan and Leon pulled out of the driveway, honking joyous beeps of good bye, when my dishwasher repairman pulled in. We have been waiting almost four weeks for the part, the same one replaced last year, to come in. This repairman we seemed unsure of himself as water sprayed all over the kitchen. I turned the water off for him, which he should have done first.

Three hours later he announced that there were other things wrong with the dishwasher. After my interrogation of him it was clear he had first not diagnosed the whole problem and second had broken some other things while trying to fix the original problem. I didn’t even have to get out the rubber hose for him to come clean and admit his mistakes.

To make a long story short, or a boring one go away, I got my money back for the deposit on the parts and labor after talking to the supervisor, and I bought a new dishwasher. I also called my friendly plumber who came right over to fix what the idiot had broken under the sink.

At least another two weeks of Russ washing the dishes. It wasn’t just the fact that this guy screwed everything up it was also that I missed a birthday celebration for my friend Michelle. The lost time makes me more mad than anything else.

It was certainly a day of two ends of the happiness spectrum. Hopefully tomorrow will be more even keel.

Just Can’t Beat the Rain

This time of year I live by the weather predictions. I plan all things around when “They” say it is going to rain. “They” are not always right. When I go away, with the prediction of rain, I hope it happens as I want the rain for my garden and new plantings. When I get home and ask Russ if it actually rained at our house I am often disappointed.

This weekend I had a lot of planting to do. I did more than half of it Saturday. I had to water what I just planted, but knew there was a good chance for rain today. I am fine with it raining after I have watered new plantings as long as it’s not a deluge.

Since I was too exhausted to plant everything, I planned on planting the rest today. Russ and I went to bed very early so we could work before the rain came. Russ said “They” predicted it would start raining at 10. All good I thought.

I woke up at five. It was still dark so I lay back down for another forty-five minutes. My normal Sunday routine is wake up, play all my NYT games and share my scores with my posse. Laze around watching news and CBS Sunday morning then go to church.

Not this morning. I was out in the secret garden, a tiny square behind the dining room and breakfast room. I started digging only to discover an ancient watering system, long ago abandoned. This made digging problematic, but I eventually chopped up most of the hoses.

I got 85% of the plants in when the rain started at 7:50! Two hours early! I still had flowers to pot in the patio containers along with the final three plants in the secret garden. Mulch still needed to be repositioned.

I should have powered through everything yesterday, despite the heat and exhaustion. I knew rain was coming. Quite frankly I have been praying for rain since it did not rain Tuesday or Friday as “They” predicted.

I cleaned myself up and had my normal Sunday morning as it was barley past the normal time I would wake up on a Sunday.

After church I cleaned the house and basically hung around waiting to see if “Their” all day rain prediction would be wrong so I could go back out and finish. For once “They” got it right. So my terrace and secret gardens lay waiting for me to finish and tomorrow is my busiest day. At least my vegetable garden is happy with the gentle all-day rain. “They” say it won’t rain Tuesday, let’s see if I can finish.

Dirt Day 1

I have hardly been home to do much gardening. Last weekend I planted a few veggies and zinnia seeds. I wished for more rain than we got. Today I went to Gunters Greenhouse and got a bunch of annuals for the front door pots and the terrace garden. My wonderful plumbers left me nine tomato plants they didn’t need so I planted seven of them along with some basil and marigolds, along with a second round of green beans and arugula.

I did my front door pots. They don’t look like much right now. They need a few weeks of growing to fill out. I was too tired to do the terrace pots and the secret garden. That will have to wait until tomorrow. The peonies are lush and full of flower balls waiting to explode, I think by next week.

Russ and I took note of which hoses have given way and which nozzles need to be replaced, so guess what I am getting for my birthday. At least they don’t have a plug.

There is still a bunch of mulch to be spread, slowly but surely we should get it all done. I need to finish that project so I can order new gravel for the driveway. Another excellent present, perhaps for our anniversary which is the day before my birthday.

Oh I can only dream of what exciting thing I can get for Mother’s Day. Thank goodness we don’t need anymore garden tools.

Who Knew Your Email Could Be Full

I have had one email dress that I have used for thirty years. And it’s not an AOL one. I diligently delete emails daily that are unimportant. I thought I was doing the right thing.

Turns out I was not. Deleting them on my phone did not really delete them.

I got a DM from a woman I don’t know today saying she had been trying to email me, but was getting messages that my email was full! I had never heard of this. I knew voice Mail can be full as I am always texting my friend to delete her voice mails because I can’t leave her one.

So I got on my head of IT this morning and sure enough I had used some crazy amount of storage, supposed to be a lifetimes amount of storage. So the IT head cleaned up a few things so now I am only 94% full. More cleaning to be done, but only on my computer, not my other devices where I do all my actual work.

I so appreciate the communication from this stranger, who really wanted to get into Mah Jongg class and was not stopped by my poor IT management.

If you need to get in touch with me you can use danalange@me.com as another email. You can text me at 919-452-4243. You can DM Me through Facebook or instagram.

I am sorry if it is hard to find me. I also get a lot of questions about where I will be teaching classes. Most of my classes are private, some at private clubs and some at private homes or at organizations that hire me for classes. That means that I can’t add random people to these classes.

I will be having a Beyond Beginner Class in Durham that I control. It is May 21-23 from 9am- Noon. If you are interested in that contact me. There is a Beginner class at Home for Entertaining in Cary June 11-13 6pm-9. Home for Entertaining will have a sign up for that class on their website I think starting Sunday.

I will be at the Dunes Club, and the off site location for the Coral Bay club in June and July. If you are members of those clubs watch their newsletters. I am sorry I can’t help non-members get in those classes. Only members can possibly bring guests. It all depends on the Club’s rules.

I will be back at CCC September 17-19, for both Beginners and Beyond Beginners.

To the woman who wrote me disappointed that she went to a club in another state thinking she was coming to see me, I hope you learned the game just the same. Learning the rules is the easy part. If you really want to get to be a great player come take Beyond Beginner classes where you learn how to think about the game strategically. Those are my favorite classes to teach and by far the most fun classes to take.

Thank goodness Mah Jongg in real life is an analog operation as I clearly don’t have the IT chops to manage it digitally. Wishing you all empty e-mail accounts and all the jokers.

Used Up My Word Allotment

Well It’s happened. I finally am talked out. Three days in Kinston, so many friends, and relatives of friends, and a long car ride home talking to Carter and I think I can’t talk any more.

I still have my voice, but it’s more gravely than usual.

Had my Kinston New card class first thing this morning. Thanks to all the K-town girls for helping me get everything set up and settled. People paid rapt attention and I talked and talked and talked. I did learn that my laser pointer does not work when pointing at a TV screen. So I thankfully I had my trusty telescoping pointer.

After new card class I had lunch with Ruth E., her Cousin Ashley who is a favorite and Ruth E’s sweet mom. It was a pleasure to spend time talking with Mrs. Perry who is as sweet and kind as I imagined the mother of Ruth E. to be.

They all helped me take new card class stuff to the car and get beginner stuff out of the car as I set up for my last Beginner class. Because we had odd numbers I played two hands at two different tables at the same time so all the students could play with four people at a table. I tried my best to let the students win, which did not always work.

They helped me carry everything back to the car and I was off for home. With my drive ahead of me I called Carter to catch up on her week. It made the drive go faster. I picked an exhausted Shay up at Mary’s and came home to an empty house, because Russ is judging a Case competition. I watered my garden and found eight potted seedlings left for me by my sweet plumbers.

So now I have just sat in the quiet house, no TV, No Music, no sound and just went through the mail for the last hour. I am so enjoying not hearing the sound of my own voice. Shay is passed out asleep on the bed and I think maybe I should not talk tomorrow and just see what it’s like to be silent. I know people are going to be sad they missed being with a silent me. I probably used my word allotment for the week already. Don’t call me. I can’t talk.

Southern Hospitality

One of my main reasons for this Kinston week was so I could come to my friend Debbie’s Farkle fund raiser for the PEO, an organization of women who raise money for scholarships for females. I had never heard of Farkle, but Debbie told me months ago that it was an easy dice game that I could certainly master.

Mastering was not the goal, but going and spending time with friends for a good cause was. We had no idea that even though we were seated together, the top half of the table moved up while the bottom half stayed at the original table for the next round.

I enjoyed all of it. Met a lot of sweet people. Learned a new game and made lots of points. Nothing award winning, but very acceptable. Debbie had made sure there were gluten free lunches for me and Kristi and brought them to us personally. It was great to spend time with Debbie’s husband Paul who fought Jane Brothers to be my host at my next visit.

After lunch I had to go teach Mah Jongg to my sweet group of beginners. They are all excelling as they are getting special attention and are a smart group.

Tonight I was taking Jane and Warren out to dinner. That’s my deal when I go to stay with someone. I think most people already have all the stuff they need, so a consumable is my preferred gift. A great dinner is the perfect consumable.

I told Jane and Warren to pick any place they wanted to go. They told me we were going to the Starlight in Greenville. It was a little bit of a drive, but a new place to me.

Jane and Warren love the Chef and his wife and the larger family who have owned this restaurant since 2000. I asked Warren if he sold them vegetables and he said, “Yes, especially a lot of broccolini this spring.”

We met Toby the chef, and his sweet wife. We had a fabulous server and the most delicious food. It was a perfect night. When we finished everything I asked the server for the bill. He said, “Didn’t Toby talk to you? It’s on the house.”

I looked at Jane and Warren and they both had big shit eating grins on their faces. “You tricked me!”

The Chef was trading a dinner for broccolini with Warren and he and Jane were not letting me get the bill since there wasn’t one. I could not believe they pulled this off. My only consolation is I was able to tip the waiter. Now how am I going to surprise Jane and Warren for their over the top hospitality. I can’t do it next visit because Jane already promised Paul I was staying with him and Debbie. This is going to have to be a long con.

Back to My Home I Didn’t Know Was My Home

It’s a good day when I get to come to Kinston. There is something about my friends in this town that calls me home here again and again. This trip was planned not around my Mah Jongg teaching, but around my friend Debbie’s fund raiser for one of the many community groups she volunteers for.

She asked me months ago if I would like to come and we planned some Mah Jongg classes around coming to her event. So today I came on into town and taught some beginners before going to Becky’s house for drinks and to catch up with my gang.

Becky, Jane, Kristi, MaryAnn, Ann, Ann, Debbie,Molly and eventually Jo somehow all were free to have a lot of fellowship together. We went to dinner together, the exception of Jane, Ann and Ann who all had previous commitments. It’s hard to explain how in just a few years of coming here to share Mah Jongg with this town, they have grown to be such an important group of friends to me. They always roll out the red carpet and I love catching up with what each of them is doing.

After dinner I returned to my country home at Jane and Warren’s house. The party lights in the yard were on and Lucky greeted me as I pulled in the driveway. Jane was still at her church meeting, but Warren was home. He bought my old Land Cruiser and he was making sure the sunroof was in tip top shape. It makes my heart happy to know it is in a loving home.

Jane made it home with enough time for us to have a good visit. Like the kind of visits you have with beloved family. These are my people. I’m not sure they knew what they were getting when they first invited me, but I hope they don’t get tired of me. I love being back home again.

The Answers on the Social Media are Not Always Right

I can’t read anymore Mah Jongg posts on Facebook In April. With the new card there are always going to be lots of questions and people looking for clarifications. It’s not the questioners that bother me, but the answerers.

So many people consider themselves, experts, and whose to say how one qualifies as an expert. Lots of people also teach Mah Jongg. Most in small groups once in a while and some like me, as a full time job. There is no certification for teachers, and lord knows there should be one.

I say this based on hearing from my students how learning from others went, after they came to my class. I feel like there should be a few basic requirements for teachers. First, don’t drink before or during class. Second, have some kind of plan about how you are going to teach. Third, if you teach with a partner, don’t constantly disagree with each other about material parts of the game. I hear the nightmare stories that my students have told me that make me embarrassed for “teachers.”

I personally am no longer going to read the online questions because if I do I can’t help, but read the online answers. Oh Lord. The wrong things people write. Some times I understand what they might be getting act, but their imprecise use of language messes up the answer.

All games involve strategy and it amazes me what people think about Mah Jongg strategy. One person wrote that the FIRST thing she teaches her students is that Mah Jongg is a defensive game. Really, the First Thing?

The idea that this is a defensive game could not be more wrong. Yes, we all need to understand defense, but you can’t take a totally defensive position from the start and ever have a chance to win. You just can’t keep what you think other people want and have space to save what you need to win. If your attitude is defensive all the time the best you can do is tie, but mostly you are guaranteeing you are losing. Of course if you don’t see a way towards winning yourself you should turn to defensive play, but you just can’t start that way.

The more I read what people write the more I can see their personalities in the way they play and the way they teach. Glass half empty people take a much greater defensive tact. “I don’t care if I lose, I just don’t want you to win.”

What a terrible point of view to live by. I teach completely the opposite and I think that is why people love playing the game. I want to be happy when someone else wins, and still try and win myself.

This is a game. Teaching it and learning it need to be nothing but fun. I did a zoom class last week and it was not fun at all. There was no way to joke around with my students. They probably learned the material, but golly, what a dull way to do it.

If you are looking to learn anything, make sure you like the teacher and they know how to convey the information in a way that is enjoyable. No glass half empty teachers for a game. And stop reading the answers on the internet unless you know the source is reputable like the women who run Mah Jongg Websites and pod casts and teach big classes. There are plenty of actual experts, Dara, Debbie, Donna, Johni, Fern, Molly are a few trusted names.

My students know how to reach me to get their questions answered. Don’t trust social media to get the right answer.

My Masters Addiction

I don’t play golf. I don’t regularly watch golf. I don’t closely follow golf. That is all true, except when it comes to the Masters. I am addicted to the Masters. I love the Masters. I drink out of my Masters cup all the time. I don’t know why I love the Masters, but I do.

Last year I was lucky enough to go with my friend Judy. It was a highlight of my year. I felt like I became an expert on hole four where we watched most of the day on Thursday, which meant I got to see all the players.

I loved watching today. I was thrilled that Scottie Scheffler continued to stay on the top of the leader board. I fell for him two years ago and it’s nice to see he is just as nice a guy, even after being number one.

I also was totally impressed with the young Swede Ludwig Áberg. To come in second at the age of 24 in his first major was most amazing. He looked like he was having a lot of fun. I guess that winning over two million dollars for second is fun.

I am not sure I will ever have another opportunity to go to the Masters, but I certainly will continue to be addicted to watching it on TV. I am not going to take up golf. It takes too much time. I am also not going to start watching other tournaments. But there is nothing like the Masters. It’s easy to be addicted to the best of something.

Megan Ketch, Star of the World Premier of The Game at Playmakers

Run, don’t walk, right to your phone and buy tickets for Playmakers Repertory Company’s production of The Game. It’s playing until April 28 and you should not miss it.

I am not at all biased that the STAR of the show and lead character is the world famous Megan Ketch. Megan is a big part of our family as she was Carter’s nanny for four years and one of our favorite people on earth.

Megan was always destined to be an actress. We would go to her school productions and the shows she wrote, produced and stared in during the summers. Taking care of Carter was just something she fit in around her acting. Young Carter often went to rehearsals and hung out at The Paul Green theatre with Megan

After UNC Megan moved to NYC and went to NYU for a masters in acting. Staring in NY based TV shows and movies and plays on the East coast for a few years. Eventually Megan made the move to LA and marrying her British actor heartthrob husband Max and having their own sweet baby. So having her back in North Carolina for this production is a huge treat.

It was quite a thrill that UNC commissioned an original work by the very talented Bekah Brunstetter, who went to UNC with Megan. This production of her the play The Game had it’s world premiere tonight, but like her other works is destined for many stages. Bekah is having quite the year as she wrote the book for the new Broadway musical of The Notebook, which just opened to great acclaim.

Bekah, writes comedy in a voice that was made for Megan. Perhaps their 24 year connection is the secret to this success.

Carter is coming home to see the show and I can’t wait to see it again. I hope you can see it too.

Mah Jongg Match Maker

With the hundreds of students I have had this week in New Card Classes I have had a number of people ask me to find them groups to play with. If only the people had asked me at the same time I just could just introduced them.

Unfortunately I am not a mah Jongg group clearing house, but I do want to encourage groups to form and new friendships to flourish.

I teach many groups of friends so they naturally have preformed groups. Sometimes I have single people in a class and they are too shy to ask other students if they can play with them after class. I also get random people who contact me looking for a group I can place them in.

I am starting with Raleigh and the close by areas. If you want to find new people to play with, or you have a group that would welcome players, please contact me so I can put everyone together.

I am not sponsoring games, or finding places for people to play. I am just going to gather names and disseminate it. You can let me know what level player you are and what times of day you would most like to play. Hopefully I can help some new groups form.

It Takes A Team

Tonight was my first ever Zoom class. My International group wanted to have access to my new card class without having to travel. Russ, my IT department, said he could make it happen. It helped to go do it in his office where all the rooms have Zoom cameras and big video monitors, lights and other dodads.

I asked my friend Deanna, a well schooled Mah Jongg shark, and technological wizard to come and be my moderator and producer. It was a god send to have her.

This was the fifth class in three days of the same material so I know it by heart, especially since I wrote it. But doing via zoom is not as fun as having a live audience. I conveyed the information, but as far as it being a good stand up routine, I would go for a live class all day long. I understand now why professors hate zoom classes.

I didn’t hate it, I just know it is more fun for the students when I can joke with them directly.

Thankfully I did not have too many technical issues. Lord knows what the class looks and sounds like recorded. It is rendering now and the people in the class with have access to the taped class as well as those people who paid for the class and couldn’t make it.

I am not about to watch it. I still have six more times to give this class, but not in this concentrated a time.

Yesterday was exhausting. I slept in until almost ten this morning trying to recover. Zoom class is easy on the body as I just sat there, but then students don’t get the body language when I slump down to convey how much I dislike the Additions Hands. I also don’t get the same questions.

Thank goodness I don’t regularly teach on zoom. I am much funnier in person.

Super Bowl of Mah Jongg Complete

Today was my Super Bowl of Mah Jongg teaching. I had three, back to back to back new card Orientation classes at the Carolina Country Club. There is no bigger day in my whole year. I had almost 300 people in class today and they were the most attentive students.

The biggest class was the afternoon class with 125 people in the room, but you could still hear a pin drop because they paid such close attention. It made me so happy to share all the new card news with so many wonderful friends.

I got to the club at 7:45 this morning, just to make sure everything worked right. Everything at CCC always works right. Gus, the manager is so helpful and supportive of Mah Jongg at the club and he spent some time with me between classes extolling the club’s love of Mah Jongg. It is so great when a club get’s how Mah Jongg is good for the club.

My morning class found a couple more mistakes in my PowerPoint. I tried to fix the mistakes before the next class, but I found another. So tomorrow I have to go through it again and see if I caught the mistakes. They were funny ones like calling last year 2203.

Thanks to all the people who helped me today. Bit and Mary Jo, who preordered my lunch and then manned the sign in table. Mair and Megan who texted me which slide numbers had the mistakes. Megan and the young ones who helped me back up and carry things to the car.

It takes a village to run this show. The hardest part is keeping all the registered students straight and in the right classes. When people Venmo and don’t put down which class I have to chase them to figure it out because I have 15 classes registering at the same time. When people text me right before class and ask me a question like, “Which room are we in?” These people don’t understand I am busy teaching another class.

I finished the cocktail class, that’s what I named the 6pm class, and I was elated to have made it through 9 hours of stand-up constant talking without losing my voice. I am dead tired. My feet hurt, but tomorrow is an easier because that class will be a zoom class. When I say easier, it’s physically. Technologically it’s much harder and I have Russ as IT support and my friend Deanna as zoom manager. I figure the Zoom class will be a cocktail class too! It makes Mah Jongg even more fun.

The Calm Before

Tonight is the opening night of my month long show. I’m teaching my first new card orientation at my home church fellowship hall. I figured I could do it as a fundraiser and since I built this building during the pandemic I know what a fabulous space it is.

I had to go to Russ’ office after garden club this morning to work on the logistics of my Thursday zoom class. Russ wanted to make sure all the parts worked right. It took a little longer than I had time to give to it because I wanted to get to church and set up for tonight’s class.

Good thing I or here when I did. The very expensive and intricate AV System was not work. Four different women worked on it. Finally Sharon said I would need to use the portable projector. Fine, not good, but my computer did not connect well to it.

After lots of gnashing of teeth and tearing of clothes we got it to work. And my beautiful 84 slide presentation looked awful. I was about to cry. Then the portable projector stopped working.

I called my personal AB tech, Russ and he left work early and came to church. I left him to figure something out because I had to go home and let Shay out and take a shower.

Before I even turned the water on Russ called to say he got the big fancy projector to work by using my Hdmi cable. Turns out the church one had gone bad.

Now is the calm before the show. I pray I have no technology issues tomorrow since I have three classes with many hundreds of people waiting to learn what I have to teach them.

Derp breath. Deep breath

Eclipse?

I’m glad I didn’t plan my day around the eclipse. I didn’t buy glasses this time. Mostly because I was so afraid of getting counterfeit glasses and damaging my eyes. At this point my eyes are too important to me, so missing the eclipse was not a big deal. It turned out to be even less of a deal than I thought.

In 2017 my favorite thing about the eclipse was the half moon sliver shadows on the walkway. I thought that I would get to see those again this year, since you don’t look up at the sun.

I drove to my private lesson house fifteen minutes early. My student told me she was not going to be home, but that I was welcome to get there early. I pulled in and the terminex Guy was there spraying for bugs.

I got out of the car and waited for the sky to get darker. It didn’t really. The temperature went down a degree or two, but there were no interesting shadows on the ground. The birds acted normally. The Terminex guy asked me if I thought it had happened. I told him I didn’t think so, but the time had passed for the predicted eclipse.

It was a non-event for me. I am glad I saw the one in 2017. I doubt I will have an opportunity to see another and it won’t really change me. I did see some beautiful videos from Maine and I enjoyed that.

I hope that all my friends who went somewhere to be in the line of totality had clear skies. Now I just want to get the ear worm of “total eclipse of the heart” out of my head soon.

New Card Class Slides Done

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Really a Friend?

I was at the celebration of Marge Wollman’s life today. Marge was a first class character so there were some good Marge stories to be told.

It was a nice crowd of friends and family and I was happy to be there visiting with Tom and Lee especially.

I also got to see people I haven’t seen in a while, but keep up with through Facebook. One friend, who shall remain anonymous told me a story about her daughter who I am also Facebook friends with.

Turns out that a few years ago her daughter was scrolling on her iPad at the beach. The bright sun made scrolling difficult. As she was attempting to scroll she accidentally clicked on one of those Facebook suggestions for a friend she might know. Turns out it was me.

I remember getting the friend request so I accepted it. I was not sure why, but I rarely turn down a young person I know. I always turn down people I don’t know.

This young women is too polite to unfriend me, even though the request was nothing more than a mistake.

If you are that young woman, and read this, please feel free to unfriend me. I have gotten a big laugh about this whole thing. If there is ever anything I can do for you, I am happy to be there, even if we aren’t Facebook friends. If you have gotten used to my crazy posts and want to stick around, I am happy to have you.

Life is short. Having more friends is never bad, as long as you actually want them to be your friend. Oh, and don’t be mad at your Mom for telling me this story. I got a big laugh out of it.

Shay Likes Women’s Basketball

Shay is totally enthralled by women’s basketball on TV. “It’s the final four after all,” she says.

Shay predicted that South Carolina will over take NC State, despite their being her home state team. “They just aren’t as tall.” It’s amazing that Shay can tell how tall anyone on TV is.

The first game is just a warm up for the game she is really waiting for. UConn v. Iowa, or as Shay says, “Buckets vs. Caitlin.”

I’m not sure Shay is as interested in the Men’s final four,, but that is tomorrow. For today it’s all about the women.

Writing New Card Curriculum

I’ve spent many hours creating my New Card Class Power point and I’m still many hours from being done.

My old hands are not used to doing so much creative work on the computer. It is one thing to type hours a day, but keeping just my pointer finger out running the curser around the track pad making funny shaped arrows and adding animations is killing me.

Russ got me into animations on my slides. I like having reveals about information so people are not reading ahead. It’s just a lot more work for a person my age.

I’m am 38 slides in and I think I have at least another 25 slide to go. There is a lot to say about this new card. Strategy is changing and this is going to mean a lot more learning for a lot of players.

The one thing I have not worked on yet is my Charleston Decision Tree. It is not as straight forward with this card. I am going to have to play about 300 more hands before I settle on that strategy.

I guess I know what I’ll be doing the next four days.

See you all in New Card Classes Next week.

Blossom Explosion

One of the best things about the beginning of April is that I am home. I have to stay home to work on my New Card Orientation class slides. It’s a big time analyzing the new Mah Jongg card. Being home this time of year is wonderful because I get to enjoy the display my garden puts on for just these few spring weeks.

My front door Lady Bank Rose is like a fireworks display in yellow. Every year I have to keep my yard people from trimming the rose too much and at the wrong time. The last few years this lady banks has had the best conditions and has rewarded us with her beauty.

I was driving down my road coming toward my house and I was assaulted with the giant spray of flowers. Thankfully the rain this morning did not knock them off. Since they just recently bloomed I hope they will stick around for a couple of weeks as long as we don’t have too much violent weather.

Come on by and enjoy them for yourselves. I’m just inside, sitting at the game table working on Mah Jongg Strategy.

More News on Yesterday’s Blog

Oh what trusting and supportive friends I have. Yesterday’s blog, “I sold a game” elicited so many sweet and congratulatory messages. I was blown way by your messages. So many people trying to solve the puzzle without instructions on how to play the game.

I got DM’s texts, email and Facebook and WordPress comments. Three messages got the right answer. Congratulations to Sally, Kelly and Jan who understood the game.

I can’t wait to post today’s blog until tonight because there is more news.

If you figured out that the chain of numbers spelled something out you could have read the coded message.

1 12 10 19 16 22 13 13 16 9

Here is the key to reading the number string.

The key starts with one equaling the letter A, then you go backwards. 2 = Z, 3=Y, 4=X, 5=W…

Using the key, the message said, “April fools”

I hate that I tricked so many of you, but I love that you actually thought that I could create a game that the New York Times would buy.

After learning that the blog was all a joke my sister Janet said, “But, you need to sell them a game.”

I don’t have a game to sell. I don’t have the coding skills to create an online game. I just write a blog that some of you take as gospel. Yesterday was April 1. Of course it was going to be a joke.

I Just Sold A Game

Like so many of my friends I am addicted to all the New York Times word games. Everyday we text each other our results. I hold my breath when I only have one guess left in Wordle hoping not to break my streak, which currently stands at 403 straight wins.

I have been working on developing a new word game myself. Not that I don’t already have my hands full with Mah Jongg. Since mah Jongg is about pattern recognition I thought the same thing could be done in a word game.

I have finished developing it and I hired a lawyer to copy write it. My lawyer submitted it to the New York Times Games editor. I just got an email from them saying they want to buy the game. My lawyer is in negotiations to get me the job as the daily editor of this game. Don’t worry I will still be teaching Mah Jongg. Writing a daily game like this is not that hard.

Here is a sample of the game. See if you can figure it out, but don’t post the answer. DM me if you think you figured it out.

1 12 10 19 16 22 13 13 16 9

The Green Has It

Happy Easter to all the believers, questioners and ones who just humor their families and go to church today.

Russ and I met my Mom at church. The Beischer’s had generously given her a ride. I was the lector for the jam packed service. The good thing about being the lector is I have a guaranteed seat up front. One of the best things about Easter at Westminster is the Brass band led by Jim Ketch. Listening to them play would make anyone believe.

I am a regular lector, which was a good thing today. There were lines missing in my lector notes about asking the congregation to join me. Thankfully I knew they should have been there and gave the standard instructions.

Then we had an unplanned change in the service when one of the ministers jumped up to do birthday Sunday before I could do the affirmation of faith. While the congregation was hearing from all those with birthdays in April, the other ministers and I were signaling each other about how to recover from this change in program.

Right after the birthday song, Chris waved the minster over, preventing her from going on to the next thing and I jumped up to the lectern. I told the gathered that we were just trying to keep them on their feet by changing the order and asked they they stand back up to read the affirmation of faith. No one was any worse for the change.

After church we gathered in the court yard. Lynn and I noticed we were wearing matching Green. Carter then texted from Darien, where she was celebrating with Claire and her family. She too was wearing green that matched me and Lynn. It made me feel like we were together at least psychically.

We came home for our Easter lamb dinner and watched the South Carolina Women win at basketball ball before I took mom home. It was a joyous day for the risen lord.

Getting our own Exercise

A few years ago, when my Dad was still on this earth he volunteered to bring his farm man Bill and a tractor to come plant about 30 shrubs I needed planted. My Dad could have just sent Bill with the truck and the tractor on a trailer, but my Dad came too. He sat on my garden bench and supervised and took Bill to lunch each day, since it took them two days to complete the job.

Bill lives in the country. Everyone in Bill’s family works hard for a living. He was not used to a neighborhood like mine. As he worked digging holes and planting shrubs he noticed many women walking by my house. Sometimes he saw the same woman walking the same direction multiple times.

At lunch on the second day Bill asked my Dad a question he had been pondering. “Where are those women going who walk by Dana’s house all day.”

My Dad replied, “They are just taking a walk.”

“But where are they going? They seem to be going the same direction every time they walk by, but they don’t come back the other way.” Bill puzzled.

“They are making loops,” my Dad told him.

“But where are they going?”

“No where in particular. They are just getting exercise.”

“Can’t they get exercise at home?”

At Bill’s house, they get exercise by working on his property. I took his observation as a good lesson. I can get exercise by doing work on my own property.

So today Russ and I spread about 25% of the mulch. I had spread some yesterday and Russ spread most of it today. We did the hardest part, spreading around the mondo grass. We still have 15 yards to go. There will be no way we can get it all done, but we have easier places to spread.

It’s best to do our own work and get exercise at the same time, rather than paying someone else to do our work and get the exercise we need.

Great Friday For My Sister Janet

Of the three girls in my family my youngest sister Janet is the smartest and the most industrious. She has had multiple businesses and has been a huge success. Today was officially her last day at her beauty box business. A couple of years ago she sold this business to a group who required her to stay with the company through the transition.

She liked that company so going from being an owner to an employee wasn’t too horrible. Then that business sold her business to another group and she had to stay on with them. They were not her choosing, but now that she was an employee she had not choice but to stay or walk away from her final payout.

Janet, being Janet stayed. But today was her final day and she is officially retired from the beauty box business. I am sure that beauty buyers across the country are going to miss her no nonsense way of creating unique products for them. I am going to miss seeing her fabulous advent calendars.

I know today is the day she has been waiting for. I hope she gets lots of rest and a chance to slow down. I hope that I get more time to see her now that she is not working 18 hour days.

It was hard work, but such a success. Congratulations Janet. You are still the smartest and the hardest working. Now you and Sophie get some time off and just have fun.

Mulch and Mah Jongg

Well my back is better. Just in time for my car-sized delivery of mulch to arrive. When I ordered the mulch I had not hurt my back. I ordered it to arrive at a time when Russ and I would be home together. Our annual spreading of mulch is a family affair.

It has rained here an ocean of rain in the last few days. The forecast is good for the Easter weekend so it looks like I will be up to my waist in mulch. I am going to have to take this job slow so I don’t aggravate my newly healed back.

Russ is in good mulching shape. I hope he does not have too much work this weekend. We need to get this stuff shoveled into wheel barrows and moved all over our god’s little acre.

My rest between loads will be working on my new card class slides for my Super Bowl of Mah Jongg. The new card is wild. Lots of new kinds of hands that we have never seen before.

Mulch and Mah Jongg. What a perfect weekend. Oh yeah, The bunny is coming too.

New Card is Out!

In the middle of teaching beginner mah Jongg in Smithfield today my watched beeped alerting me to a text. One of my students asked how many Texts I get a day that are Mah Jongg questions. I told her usually about a dozen. She thought that was low, but I explained that people don’t need to text me once they learn how to play. So questions taper off after students get to be proficient players.

She asked me if the text I just got was a mah Jongg question. I looked at it. It was not a question, but it was about Mah Jongg. My friend had gotten an image of the new card and she shared it with me. Woo Hoo the new card is out!

I can’t share it here as it is copy written, but this means you need to be on the lookout for your card any moment now.

On my way home I called the friend who sent me the new card. She asked me how soon Real Mah Jongg would have the new card as an option to play. I guessed by tomorrow. I was wrong. It was updated before we got off the phone. We hung up so she could play.

I will get right on analyzing and writing the new card class presentation. Some of the things I predicted would and would not be on the card came true, but there are many new exciting hands. I can’t tell you if it is a good card or not yet. I need a few days of playing before I pass judgement. Happy New Card week! The faithful will be excited.

Whiting Out the Inconvenient Truth

In news you just can’t make up, a former occupant of the White House has gone online to hawk God Bless America Bibles for $59.99. The man is not known as a biblical scholar, but I guess he might have demanded some edits in this particular version of his Bible.

Don’t go looking for any word about treating your neighbor as yourself. He has not quite understood that everyone is your neighbor. He is reordering the verse, “the first shall be last and the last shall be first.” To his mantra of, “I am first and you are last.”

He has inserted a photo of himself at Revelation 19:16 “King of kings and Lord of lords.”

But the big one was the reduction of the Ten Commandments. He personally is just whiting out the ones he doesn’t like, but he started with that pesky, “You shall not commit adultery.”

My Students Are The Best

My back has n been improving ever since I woke up last Thursday having injured myself in my sleep. I really wonder what I dreamt about that hurt me so badly.

I laid low all weekend which was easy since Russ was away, but today it was time to get back in the real world.

I had a class at the cute Sarah’s house in Raleigh. Her husband generously carried my giant new folding white board in its handy dandy carrying case down to their basement where we were having class.

As it was a beyond beginner class I brought my beautiful mah Jongg demonstration cards. My back is not quite good enough to walk around and put cards up and take them down off the board for a whole class. So two fabulous students, Louise and Kelly, volunteered, one at a time, to play Vanna White and keep the board up to the minute with the hands were were playing.

It was so helpful to have big visual aids and not for me to have to have my back to the class moving the cards. Kelly said it helped take the pressure off having to come up with the right answer. I hope she still learned as much.

I am so appreciative of the kindness of my students.

Shay and TV

Poor Shay has had to watch basketball all weekend with me. Russ was on the west coast. Shay despondently kept looking down the stairs to the garage door. “Where is he?”

Basketball does not exactly keep Shay’s attention like nature shows do. If given her choice she would like a day of CBS Sunday Morning Moments of Nature. She likes Birds, or deer or seals, just any animals.

This is so funny since she dislikes other dogs so much in real life. Maybe dislike is not the right word. Maybe disdain, or indifference. Does not matter if they are friendly dogs, or aggressive dogs, she ignores them all. If they were on TV she might like them, but in person, or rather in dog, she turns her nose up and walks the opposite direction.

For now she is cheering for Duke, who is killing JMU. She was despondent about UNC women’s game. She thought Middle Tennessee women made a valiant effort against LSU. The reason she likes South Carolina and LSU is they are game cocks and tigers. They make great moments of nature.

March Madness, Needlepoint and a Bad Back

Of all the weekends to have a bad back and for Russ to be away, this is the best one. I have so much needlepoint to do I have no guilt to be watching basketball game after basketball ball game.

To make it feel like I am doing something I have watched five different games on three different TV’s. I could have moved to another one, but it was too many stairs.

I split my time between men’s and women’s games. I have to say I might have enjoyed the Iowa women’s game the most.

After years of sitting on the bleachers watching Carter I forgot how much I enjoy women’s basketball. I am thrilled that it is gaining popularity. Caitlin Clark is a great role model, even if she did not have a record breaking game she was still outstanding.

If I don’t don’t show up for church tomorrow it will not be because I am watching basketball, but because I still won’t be well enough. I’m not hoping for my back to still hurt, but if I have to stay home it will be alright. So things that go together, March Madness, needlepoint and a bad back.

Pray For Princess Kate

I was not one who paid any attention to all the Princess Kate speculation. I took it at face value that she was recovering from something and did not think twice about the photo shopped photo.

Today she announced she had cancer. I hope that everyone will give her space. For those who thought nefarious thoughts I hope you feel foolish.

the Princess does not owe anyone anything. Just like celebrities owe you nothing. If you care about her just pray for her healing or send healing thoughts.

The last thing anyone dealing with cancer needs is to worry about what strangers re thinking about them. Privacy and prayers. That’s it.

Laying Low

I woke up at 4:45 this morning and could not go back to sleep. Nothing so terrible about that.i did some work, played some games, did some needlepoint all in bed. I think that was my mistake. I went to get out of bed and I must have turned funny and tweeted something in my back.

I don’t have any idea how or why, but I still was able to get up and take a shower. Walking wasn’t great, but I did it. I had a birthday lunch to go celebrate.

While sitting at lunch I had no pain, but walking still hurt. I came home and lay down on the bed as flat as I could and took a three hour nap.

That helped about 20%. I plan on laying low and pray to be better tomorrow as I can’t imagine I did anything terrible with such a small movement.

Having a Day Off is Bad

I didn’t teach today. It’s the end of the Mah Jongg year and everyone wants to wait for the new card. This means I had most of the day to work on something non Mah Jongg related. Consequently I hardly did anything. The highlight of my day was ironing over 100 napkins that I washed during the Christmas Holiday but had not ironed. How sad that was the big thing of the day.

I did go to a meeting for a committee I have been on for over 20 years. I am thinking I may not be needed on this committee. There are plenty of other people who can do what I do. I am mostly there for historical knowledge, but I am probably just making people mad when I bring up technical rules or point out how that two months does not a trend make. If people want to worry, I should just let them. I think 20 years service is enough.

I have been doing better about calling people to just tell them I love them. I also got some calls from people telling me, but I have not called them back yet. Tomorrow I am calling you all back!

I really need to make a list of everything I need to do so I can have the satisfaction of checking things off the list. I did order mulch and had a plan that for the next few days I would be shoveling and moving it around. Sadly it can’t be delivered until next week unless they get a cancellation. At least I know what I will be doing late next week.

For now I am hand washing dishes again as the same sensor that went out on our dishwasher has gone out again. Maybe I did do somethings today. Just felt like nothing.

Hello Spring, My Old Friend

Growing up in Wilton, Connecticut Spring was my favorite time of year. We lived in a giant house crated out of two barns that were put together to be the Party House, carriage house and servant quarters for another more traditional home next door.

Starting with barns meant that half of the house was made out of barn siding. There was no insulation and I have a strong recollection of holes in the wood where you could see the out doors. The higgledy Piggly nature of the building meant that normal heating just could not keep up and therefore winters in that house were excruciating.

We had no air conditioning, it was Connecticut after all. But there were summer nights when we lay on top of our sheets, naked, with box fans running, praying for a big storm. So summers had some pitfalls.

Falls were beautiful, but since that meant back to school, that gave fall a mark in the negative column.

That left Spring. My birthday is in the spring, but the real reason I liked spring best was the daffodils that were planted all over the banks of the stream that ran through our property and down to our skating pond. The banks were steep on the far side, up a little mountain and the daffodils peaking up from the fallen leaves and rocks were glorious.

In Connecticut, spring came right around the time of the vernal equinox. In North Carolina spring really came in early February. Currently our daffodils are long gone and the forsythia’s yellow flowers have been covered by the green leaves.

Still the first day of spring makes me happy. Perhaps because I feel like the school year is on the down side and my birthday is around the corner. (In fact it is more than a month away.)

Spring in Durham means pollen, something I never really thought about as a child, but then again I never thought a car needed to be washed since my father had both cars washed every Saturday.

Nonetheless, today I am happy. Welcome Spring and the fluffle of bunnies who are likely coming for my garden. Even today I won’t be mad about them. The sunshine is growing. The flowers are blooming. Life is good.

“I just didn’t know you would be so nice.”

Of all my first cousins I am the oldest, by a long way. When we were kids my family and my father’s brother’s family would all go to Pawleys Island together during the summer and we had a bunch of second cousins there too. I was older than all of them. We had years and years together, not just a Pawleys, but holidays up at the farm when both brothers retired there.

At Christmas this year my cousin Leigh, who is ten years younger than me, asked if I would teach her and her friends Mah Jongg. So we set up a class at my house.

Tonight was the last class. Everyone did well. Leigh had a big win, which her mother will be proud of.

After everyone left Leigh was talking to me about how much fun the class was. She said everyone had texted between classes about how much they liked it.

As she was going out the door she said, “You are such a good teacher. I just didn’t know you would be so nice.”

Now Leigh is a great cousin and wonderful person, but obviously her early years spent with me as her much older cousin, she must have thought of me as not nice. I am certain I was not nice plenty of times with family, especially when I was a teenager and I was stuck with little kids.

I am just happy that perhaps my reputation has changed. I am a strict teacher, but also a fun one. It’s a change to be considered nice in the family.

St Patrick’s Day Shenanigans

No actual shenanigans today, but when St. Patrick’s Day comes around I am always reminded of the time I marched in the New York St. Patrick’s day parade. The year was 1979. St Patrick’s Day fell during my spring break. Since my school spring break did not fall the same week as my sisters’ I was getting to spend a cold week at home in Wilton, CT.

Some of my Walker’s friends were equally bored at their homes in the New York suburbs so we made plans to meet in the city on St. Patrick’s day. New York in 1979 was still seedy around Times Square, and bars were incredibly lax about checking ids, especially since the drinking age was 18.

The friends I met that day were Jenny Hetzler, better known as Hetz, Anne O’Reilly, the only truly Irish one among us, Suey Lierle, and Katharine Dusenbury, better known as Dusey.

As friends in an all girls boarding school we often had to find ways to entertain ourselves on cold winter weekends at school. Jenny, being the biggest comic of the group, often wrote songs for our entertainment. She tended to group them by subject matter into their own song books. One favorite was the Trigger song book, named for our trigonometry teacher, aptly named Peggy Trigelius. She could write on the black board with both hands at the same time, a trick which should have gotten her a spot on Johnny Carson.

My favorite song book of Jenny’s was the Green box song book. Green boxes where the small metal trash cans in our dorm bathrooms. Being a girls school you can imagine what went in those cans. Without ever actually spelling it out, the songs were brilliant in their tongue-in-cheek humor. They were all written to popular and familiar tunes.

On this particular St. Patrick’s day we met on fifth Avenue. We had a bed sheet painted with large green letters, Green Box Society. At some point in the parade their was a space between marching bands and police walking in unison, so we just jumped into the parade stretching the sheet between us, singing from the green box song book.

Due the to tune recognition people assumed they knew the songs we were singing, but thankfully the parade moved quickly enough that they did not quite get the lyrics, before we were already gone.

Back in 1979 there were no such things as metal barricades, or cops watching the crowd, so jumping into the parade was just not that hard. Plus, by the time we joined enough people had been imbibing that they were unconcerned with four teenage girls dressed in green carrying a homemade banner.

I wish I had photos from that day. It was such a highlight as a St. Patrick’s Day I have never actually celebrated it since because nothing could top marching in the NYC parade illegally. Jenny definitely missed her calling as a song writer.

Mountain of Mint

Russ and I had a few hours alone today so we started cleaning out the garden in preparation for planting next month. A large crop of volunteer mint had worked its way into the garden. Mint will take over if you are not constantly ripping it out. So I asked Russ to rip it all out knowing it will still come back.

He put the tender stems in my garden basket until it was almost too full to carry. There were also roots and dirt among the good leaves, but the basket held a mountain of spring green.

I brought it in to process it, which entailed washing it twice and then stripping the good leaves from the stems. I placed the leaves in a salad spinner, rinsed, spun and repeated.

I let each batch dry and then put smaller bunches back in the salad spinner and washed and spun three more times. I counted seven washings just to make sure no dirt or debris clung to the tender leaves.

Into the cuisineart they all went with a few tablespoons of sugar. I pulsed those babies up in a fine mince, just before purée. The entire garden basket when processed only came to about a cup of minced mint.

I warmed rice vinegar in the microwave and poured it over the mint and sugar and placed the jar in the fridge. We are now ready for Easter.

If you have never had a perfectly cooked lamb chop with English mint sauce you have not lived. Next time you go to a gourmet store and see the price of mint sauce just consider how much trouble it is to strip and clean 10,000 mint leaves to make that one small jar.

Tell Me What You Want and Who You Are

Tell Me What You Want and Who You Are

Humans are incredibly egocentric beings. This coming from a person who writes a daily blog about my day is proof enough. Because of my attention on myself at the end of everyday I try and make sure that I am less egocentric during the day, but lord knows that rarely happens.

There are two examples I can share about how egocentric people are that happens to me multiple times a day. The first is when one of my mah Jongg students texts me. Nine times out of ten they do not tell me who they are in the text. When I give out my number I always say, “I don’t have your number in my phone, so when you text me start with your name.”

Even after that instruction, people launch right into their question with no introduction. I usually text back, “Who is this?”

An apology follows with the name, but only the first time they text. The second time, I have to scroll back through the thread to figure out who is writing me. If I like the person I will make a contact for them so their name comes up, but not always. I really like just about everyone, but sometimes I just don’t have the time to be making all these contacts.

The reason I don’t have time is I am busy chasing down the second egocentric thing that happens. When students sign up for Mah Jongg classes I get a message with their name and in the memo it just says “mah Jongg,” or “class,” or if they go way out there, “Mah Jongg Class.”

On any given day I am signing up people for 25 different classes. If I get ten sign ups a day I have to message them all back and ask, “which location or date are you signing up for?” No one ever thinks that if you are signing up for a class that is three months away I might have a few other classes before yours.

So just to put a point on it, I have on average 200 to 250 unique students a month. If 90% of them don’t say which class they want I have to send 180-225 extra messages.

That’s an average month. April is coming and it is my Super Bowl. I have over 500 students in April so if 90% of them don’t put a memo in their sign up I have having to send 450 extra messages, just to make sure I put people on the right class list.

I know, right now, I am preaching to the choir, because if you read my blog I probably know you. If you sign up for a class you know what to tell me. But take this as the advice it is meant to be. Don’t assume everyone knows you or knows what you are thinking. Always introduce yourself, especially virtually, until you have become real friends. And always tell people exactly what you want.

I have met very few actual mind readers in my 62 years. So I just don’t expect most people I meet to be a mind reader. If I need something from someone I am going to tell them and not expect them to guess. Expecting people to do for you exactly what you want, without being told, is the most egocentric thing you can be. It is also setting yourself up for disappointment.

Please people, say who you are and what you want. I am telling you exactly what I want.

False Summer

It was summer today in Durham. Got up to 80°. This is no surprise because it is Spring break for DA and historically we would go away for spring break and it would be beautiful in Durham while we were away. Here’s the kicker, it will get cold again at least one more time. You can not let this false summer trick you into planting things.

I did order a big bag of Zinnia seeds today. My father used to order them in bulk and give me a few handfuls every year. I do miss him doing that for me. I know not to plant any seeds except for maybe arugula right now. Too bad I don’t have any of those seeds on hand. I guess it’s time to go to Stone Brothers and stock up.

If anyone wants any mint, especially good in Thai salads right now, I have an abundance that I am going to ripping up tomorrow and Saturday. It’s also good to chop up and make mint sauce with sugar and vinegar. If you re having lamb for Easter now’s the time to get some mint from me.

If we have a lot more days like today I am going to have a hard time not planting something. At least I can prep my soil and turn my compost and that will feel like gardening.

Four Years On

It’s been four years since the world shut down for the pandemic and it feels like it was either just yesterday or 60 years ago. At this point four years ago people were baking bread, doing puzzles and learning how Zoom worked. Outside all those people dying, the staying home just with my family was not such a bad thing.

It would have been nice to have an idea how long we were going to stay home because then I would have made a list of chores I absolutely wanted to get done while I was stuck at home and gotten them done. I did build a garden and I am happy I still have that to show for the pandemic. But I never cleaned out my attic or garage and amazingly I still have not gotten around it it.

Now I have incentive because I know there are things in the attic from my college days I want to find. I am not sure when I am going to fit this job into my non-pandemic life now. I should go up to the attic if only for ten minutes everyday right now before it gets to hot. Why didn’t I think of this after Christmas?

I am not looking for another lock down, but maybe a week at home where I don’t have anything else to do. Wait, what would that be like. I always have at least a dozen things I am working on at one time and another 100 waiting to be worked on.

I think I have over 125 white napkins waiting to be ironed from the Christmas holiday. I know my garden needs to be prepped because I saw a mint invasion in there today. Don’t get me started on closets. When I went to pack this Friday I found clothes that are fifteen years old that need to go. What’s another fifteen years in the closet?

I looked at my blog from four years ago and I saw a photo of a fun puzzle I was working on in lockdown life. Oh, how badly would I like to be working on a puzzle.

I really wish I had written a book during the pandemic. I don’t know what it would have been about. I could have done a Cookbook with my eyes closed. But did I use my time wisely? No, and now four years later I am kicking myself. Those were not the good ‘ole days, but I do miss the empty calendar.

My Heart Felt Better Thanks To You

Well, my blog yesterday elicited a lot of very sweet messages, phone calls, texts, posts and all other forms of communication from friends far and wide. Friends in Kinston called early this morning and just left “Love you,” messages. I’m sorry my phone was on do not disturb so I missed the chance to hear them say it in person, but I loved the message.

I got a note on the blog from a Canadian Client, turned friend, from the mid nineties, with just his phone number. I will be calling. I wished I had called before his wonderful wife had passed away.

If I just call the people who indicated they want a call, my first month of calling one person a day is filled. I may have to call more than one person a day.

I only called one person today because it turned into a very long, but sweet call. I had to call my friend Janet who was unable to make it to Hugh’s funeral. She wanted to be there so I wanted to give her all the insider information right away.

I had one long text back and forth from an old friend from church who moved away years ago. She sent me photos of her sons, now grown with their wife and fiancé and a photo of her and her husband, who look exactly the same. It was lovely to catch up even over text.

My plan to reach out to people certainly is working when you don’t wait for me to contact you, but you contact me. It made my heart feel better today. Thank you.

I’m Calling Everyone I Love

In the life goes on column I had Mah Jongg class at my house tonight. The group is one put together by my wonderful cousin Leigh. She asked me about my weekend as soon as she came in, as she knew where I was, but none of the other students know me or know anything about what I did this weekend.

I felt like I wanted to tell them a few Hugh stories as that is all I have done for the last few days. I wanted to tell them how sorry I am that they never knew him, but of course I didn’t.

I’m not really ready for life to go on. I did get messages and a phone call from my friends I was with this weekend. We all have the same feeling of loss. Suzanne sent a text warning us not to listen to rocket man, one of the songs Hugh’s kids sang, unless we wanted to start balling again.

I may not have been in touch with Hugh as much as I would want, but apparently most of his friends said the same thing. Regardless he still meant the world to us, even with intermittent contact.

I want to make sure the people I cherish to know how I feel about them, so everyday I am going to contact one person I haven’t spoken to in a while just to tell them I love them. If you think you should be on my list, let me know, by calling me and telling me you love me.

I want to create a giant cloud of love all around the people I care about. I don’t want anyone to say, “I haven’t talked to Dana in years.”

I have no idea how many people I need to call, but I am just going to start. So if you see my name in your caller ID I hope you will answer. If you don’t I’ll call back. If you don’t want to talk to me you might have to change your number, because I don’t want there to be any question about how I feel about you.

If I never call it means one of two things, I couldn’t find your number or I don’t really like you. You may never know which one, so just assume I couldn’t find your number.

Signs from Hugh

Sitting in the tired Terminal C of the Philly airport waiting to board my flight home the glow of the weekend is certainly fading fast. Last night after the marathon celebration of Hugh, Suzanne, Doug, Dave and Doug’s great son Bryan went to dinner to do the “How aboutin’,” as the Braithwaite’s called talking about a party after it was over.

Bryan was with us because he had interned for Hugh in college. He was a great addition to our gang and held up well as we continued the endless stories about Hugh.

Hugh’s sister Angie and brother Tony had told us yesterday about signs they both got from Hugh. Our group too, had two things happen that we attribute to Hugh. The first was when we got in Doug’s car after the service his radio immediately started playing Springsteen singing “Thunder road.” Suzanne said, “Oh Doug, perfect song of choice,” as this was one of our college anthems.

“I didn’t put that on,” Doug exclaimed. “We did not even have any music on during the ride over here.” The song finished playing and another one did not follow it. Doug really didn’t have the radio on. We all looked at each other and said, “Hugh.” In one song he gave us a group sign we could share together.

It was a sweet, but eerie sign. But it was not the only one we got. Hugh was always trying to punk Doug and if he could use Dave as his patsy even better.

After the “How aboutin’,” dinner we all ran out in the pouring rain back to Doug’s car. I was the designated driver and as soon as I got in the driver’s seat I noticed that the passenger side window was open. Not just open a little, but all the way, during a two hour dinner in the pouring rain.

Dave had been sitting in that seat and immediately was blamed for the open window. He swore he had not put the window down. Why would he, it was pouring when we arrived.

This was Doug’s brand new BMW. Dave apologized profusely as he tried to shovel a half gallon of water out of the floor. Doug was calm, but not exactly happy.

The window being open can only be a prank from Hugh. It was certainly something he might orchestrate if he were with us. “What are you going to remember?”

It was so wonderful to be in the embrace of great friends while we collectively grieved. The bonus was Suzanne and I got constant time together as we shared a room together in our most Lucy and Ethel way.

One last meal as a gang at breakfast this morning continuing the “How aboutin’.” The slap of day light savings time can not be blamed on Hugh, but we still felt cheated out of one precious hour together.

Suzanne and I set off on a little tour of her childhood, as she was born in the area. We found her childhood home which she remembered in yellow as a four year old self. As she narrated the tour of her sister’s and her friend’s homes I said, “I wish we had known each other since we were four.” I am ever trying to get more time together, even if it were magically.

I could feel my chest tightening up as we were due to part at the airport where she dropped me. The balm of togetherness leaves me alone to deal with the wounds of loss. Thank goodness I go home to my loving Russ and sweet Shay Shay.

The Day of Hugh

What a day, oh what a day. Hugh Braithwaite had the send off to end all send offs. As if he was producing the show to gain every perfect effect, it was pouring down rain and cold all day. Our gang arrived at the Abbey five minutes after the visitation started and the place was already packed to the gills with a receiving line that snaked through out the sanctuary.

We were greeted by wonderful college friends from all different groups. It was quickly apparent to us that even if we waited in the line to see Carolyn and the kids we would never get to them before the service started. And what a service it was. They could have charged admission and people would have gotten their money’s worth.

Hugh’s fantastic wife Carolyn welcomed everyone and thanked people for lifting up her family so much. And then they returned the favor and lifted us up ten fold. Suzanne and I were sitting next to each other with Dave and Doug and the rest of the Dickinson crowd cocooning us. Hugh’s Nephew Jake, a priest, gave wonderful opening remarks, but it was the playing of Gabriel’s Oboe, from the movie The Mission that seemed to unleash both my and Suzanne’s tears. We tried to not gasp too loudly as the sobs came. But that feeling was quickly replaced with joy as the rest of the service proceeded.

To say the Braithwaite family is talented is an understatement. Hugh’s three children, Will, Owen and Andie, each talented stars in their own right, sang and gave remembrances of their adoring father. Each one painted the picture of their own relationships with the man all 700+ people in that room loved. The over arching theme that these children had was that their father emanated love in the most profound way. When they finished speaking the crowd was so overcome that we burst into applause and stood for a good three minutes clapping.

Hugh was cueing up the orchestra from wherever he is, watching with great pride his dearest family. The singing that the Braithwaite kids did in the service made the family Von Trapp look like singers who could not be an opening act for them. To have the poise to sing for the assembled mob a week after the sudden and surprising death of your father was extraordinary.

When we left the Abbey after three hours there Suzanne, Doug, Dave and I said that we are not allowed to die because our kids can’t sing well enough to put on a service like Hugh’s.

Following the service we went to the Philadelphia Country Club for a lunch that rivaled most wedding receptions. It was a big giant love fest of seeing Hugh’s family, his real Philadelphia friends and our college friends. There were speeches, with all of Hugh’s wonderful siblings sharing the best Hugh stories. Remember they are all Braithwaite’s too so the laughter never stopped.

Our group told a very abbreviated version of the many stories we had thought to share. We had to hold Dave back from telling a Hugh bathroom story. The theme of what most people said is that Hugh was their best friend. And the magic of Hugh is he let everyone think they were his best friend.

I met so many friends I did not know, but who had read my first blog from the day I learned of his passing. They said, “You stole my story. Or, I felt Hugh in every word.” He had a unique way of making us all feel special. He was a man full of sparkle. His wit, humor, brilliance and love was evident to all.

We left the club exhausted, but jubilant from the eight hour love fest that was the day of Hugh. I see he will live on in his children and wife Carolyn, but also in the lives of all his family, friends and the people he touched. He was a swell guy in every way. We love you Hugh. We promise to go forth and continue to spread the love as you did everyday in every way.

The Gathering

Losing a friend who was the lynch pin of a strong group is extra hard when your group is scattered across many states. For the last week our gang has, called, texted, sent photos, written stories, which we emailed each other, all in preparation for tomorrow’s service but mostly because we all were in disbelief that Hugh was gone.

Today we drove and flew and Ubered to all finally be in the same place just to finally have one big group hug. We are a group that embraced each other in the strongest possible way 43 years ago and created a lifetime of stories and a dictionary of our own language in a short period of time. We are still telling those stories and speaking our own special language, but without our chief linguist.

Suzanne had a standard way of always saying our names, Dana, Doug, Hugh and Dave. She is having a hard time reordering the group as we are incomplete without Hugh.

As underwater as we all feel without him, today was a wonderful day. We shared so many stories, laughing until I needed to change my underpants and Doug felt like he had done a thousand push ups. We have not cried as a group, but we have poured out our heartfelt love.

I think tomorrow is going to be extra hard, but so memorable and will be added to the litany of stories we share over and over again.

I am happy to be with my tribe. It may not be whole, but we are all safe together. It looks like we are having so much fun in the pictures, but our hearts are all broken. We are keeping Hugh alive with us by doing exactly what we have always done when we are together. Telling stories, laughing, falling into antics that turn into new stories and sharing a group love that is magical.

We are sad that some of our other close friends are not here with us. And just know we talked about you and your stories too.

Hugh often would miss gatherings we had over the years, so for now I feel like this is just one he is missing. I might have to believe that for the rest of my life and keep him live through our shared stories.

Getting Ready

In the category of life goes on, I played Mah Jongg and I taught Mah Jongg today. I should have cleaned the bath room floor, but I felt like the fact that I folded the laundry was good enough.

I packed my suitcase and made a list for the morning to look for waterproof mascara in my makeup and to bring an appropriate purse.

I can’t handle much else. I am so looking forward to being with my group, but sick about the reason we will be together. Another trip to say good bye. What are you going to remember?

Everything.