A Man of Generous Heart

I had a few hours break at home today between my morning class in Raleigh and my night class in Burlington. I’ve said it before, this morning and night schedule is not my favorite, but at least I got to be home in between. I was having my late lunch/early dinner, as there is no good time to eat with this schedule and the TV was on.

A special news report interrupted whatever I was not watching so I paid attention. It was the coverage of Jimmy Carter’s arrival on air force one to Washington. The news was showing the casket and his family coming to bring him to the capitol for his funeral. As the coverage was a lot of watching a hearse drive down a road David Muir was talking with different people who knew Carter or and interviewed him as a color commentary to fill boring video.

One person who was riding in the motorcade with the family was one of Jimmy Carter’s spiritual leaders. I didn’t catch his name, but what he said really struck me.

It was clear he had known the president well and for a long time and they had a profound relationship with each other. This man said every time he went to Plains to see the President, right up until the end, Carter would ask him the same four questions.

“Where have you been?”

“What have you done?”

“Who did you help?”

“How can I help you help them?”

I burst into tears because it was a lesson on servant leadership that was so simple.

Carter was diagnosed with Cancer and given two weeks to live, three years before he actually died. His friend said that even during those last three years the questions and the heartfelt offers of help never changed.

We lost this kind of leader. Please remember this the next time you have to vote for someone to be a leader. We need people who know it is not about them, but about how they can help, and do it with a generous heart.

God Bless Jimmy Carter.

Female Dog Day

I had a mess of day. This was my get back to real life day with many tasks to complete before resuming classes tomorrow. I scheduled myself with a terrible set up his week. Morning classes in Raleigh and Night classes in Burlington so I needed to be ready.

I had to mail packages to Carter. I dropped a big box on my toe and it hurt like a female dog. (I can say this as Shay had a hurt foot all last week.) Once I got my boxes in the UPS store I had an unpleasant time. The young man working there was not my favorite human as he made me stand awkwardly holding a fifty pound box because he wanted to weigh the 2 lb box first. I asked if we could do the heavy one first as there was no way to perch it and he said no. (Again a female dog.)

I went to fill my car with gas and after I had gotten half way home I got. Notice that an air tag I had was no longer with me and was “left behind.” Turns out I had dropped it at the gas station. Thankfully I drove back and found it.

I had some issues scheduling classes that hopefully will get resolved, but it caused me a lot of work today. (If they don’t, they will be a real female dog.)

I had to bake cookie for a funeral and I took a picture of them in the freezer at church to show the he’d of the committee. I did not look at the photo as I took it, but here it is.

After all these annoying things went wrong I suddenly realized it is January 6. I should have realized earlier. January 6 will always be one of the worst days in American History as far as I am concerned. Thankfully I saw Kamala on the news doing her constitutional duty in a grown up way. (Definitely a female dog day for her.)

I hope January 7 is better.

January, Time to Get Real Shit Done

The whole last six weeks from Thanksgiving to New Years and those carry over days after New Years until the first Monday of the year are my “take time off to do nothing but celebrate” weeks of the year. I don’t worry about doing anything that is not about a holiday, or family or friends. This means a few little jobs get by me, like my shoes have started a union in my closet and refuse to stay with their mate, except for those on the picket line outside my closet, who refuse to be put away at all.

Tonight is the end of all that lollygaging around. I did spend the day cooking for my friend Holley’s family, which felt restorative to me and productive. If only cooking could fix Holley. But since I am helpless to fix anyone, the least I can do is feed people.

I am one of those annoying AP’s. We are multi-taskers who the phrase, “If you want something done ask a busy person,” was actually created for. We tend to prioritize our tasks in order of importance. I was not always like this, but over the years I learned life is better if I do the important stuff first, just in case I run out of time. Thus cleaning out the attic has perceptually been on my list for the last say 29 years. Something else is always more important and as the years go on without it being done I have proven the point.

Tomorrow it’s time to get back to being actually productive. I’ve decided there are basically three types of people. The Truly Lazy (TL), the Actually Productive (AP) and the worst kind of all, those who are so busy doing all the wrong things that they say they can’t possibly get to the things they should be doing (Delusional). I will refer to these groups, by their parenthetical nicknames.

I don’t mind the TL’s. If you can get away with doing nothing, and like doing nothing then own it. These people don’t pretend to be something they are not. Good for them. That life would drive me crazy because I like to have tangible results.

Being an AP does not mean I get everything done, but if I say I am going to do something for you, I will. I will let my own shit slide to do something for someone else. And thus the attic.

The Delusionals are my least favorite group. We all have worked with some of these in our adult lives. These are people who are the ones who say they are the busiest. Appearing to be busy is their goal. When you call and ask how they are, “Busy” with a capital B is always the answer. The problem is what they are busy with is not always the most important thing. And just because they are busy they think they productive.

You are not productive if you let important things slide by because you felt like you had to reorganize you filing cabinet before filing your taxes. One thing doesn’t matter to anyone else and the other could send you to jail for not doing. Yeah, I know it will take years to go to jail for not filing your taxes, but the IRS will eventually get you.

The problem is the Delusionals are also the group who have a lot of anxiety about to do lists, but it is all about the number of tasks, rather than the importance. If I were to write down everything I needed to do in January it might stress me out, but if I only write down the most important, then do them, I won’t be stressed out about negotiating a new union contract with my shoes. My shoes are not important. But they are to the Delusionals.

So if you want to get stuff done this month, and isn’t that what January is all about? Resolutions, starting fresh, clean slate and the likes, then start with coming to grips with your personality type, are to a TL, AP or Delusional. If you don’t like that you might be a Delusional,

In the Dark Mid-Winter…

The sparkle is practically gone from the house. I still have one small tree to put away, but since it was new this year I need a new hinged container for all the painted balls on. All the other decorations are put away safely in the attic. The big tree in the gathering room is still up because I need to get some man power to help us move it down stairs.

After all the packing up was done I dusted, scrubbed, washed, vacuumed and swept every room. With the bleak, darkness coming so early the only consolation is that everything is clean. Clean, but boring.

I don’t care to decorate my house for any other holidays. But I really miss the sparkle of Christmas, especially in January. I know I could keep Christmas up, but really these first few days of January are the only free time to put it all away.

After having six different parties at my house in December, at this moment I have no parties planned for the rest of the year. My house feels so naked without the Christmas that I can’t think about having a party.

I guess I will just throw myself back into teach Mah Jongg as I have so many classes scheduled starting Tuesday. So good bye Christmas, Hello Charleston. If you know, you know.

Shay’s Back to 100%

Last week Shay had an emergency toe nail removal. Sounds painful, but I think it was pain relieving compared to the pain of keeping that injured nail. She came home with bandages, medications and a cone she had to wear.

Little baby was a trooper. She didn’t complain about the cone, and when we took it off she did not bite at her wound. She took her medicine, with just a little complaint. Mostly she was the best.

Today she went for her check up. She knew we were going to the vet. She would not get in the car. It took ten minutes of chasing her around the driveway before she finally gave in and let me pick her up. With all the running and hopping she was doing playing keep away from me I knew she was fine.

She got a clean bill of health from the vet and even the two other issues she has have gone away this week. Who knew that a split nail could be so bad.

Dog are such important family members. Even dogs we only know peripherally. Today we got word that Ripken the Durham Bulls bat dog had passed away. We loved Ripken and are so sad for his owners. He brought great joy to us at so many baseball games.

Love your dogs. Their time with us is much too short.

My Least Favorite Day of the Year

Russ had to go back to work today. Last night he brought all the Christmas boxes out of the attic so I was set up to start the de-Christmasing. I did not jump right out of bed. Taking Christmas down is my least favorite thing to do.

Shay and I lazed around playing games and watching TV for too long. I was procrastinating in the worst away. I eventually started taking the needlepoint down, then the garlands. I undid all the Living room decorations, but did not clean the room or replace the non-holiday decorations that have to be put away during Christmas.

In between all these jobs I would stop and look at my phone, or play a round of mah Jongg and then get back to work. I undecorated about a third of the tree. Shay kept asking for attention so I gave it to her. Happy for the interruption. Finally at seven I threw in the towel for the day. I barley made a dent.

I promised myself I would do better tomorrow. I hate spreading this job out.

2025 Off To a Good Start

Last night we enjoyed a fabulous party at Carter’s future in-laws, the Dickson’s beautiful house in Darien. Their best friends came to the celebration. Carter had invited them in September when they were all in Germany together. To celebrate Carter and Clair’s engagement they came dressed as lobsters! Needless to say it was a very fun party!

The Dickson’s put on quite the spread and now I am addicted to a smoked Marlin Spread that comes from a small store named Fjord. Russ had a great time getting to know Duane better and I enjoyed talking with all the girls.

Russ and I did not make it until Midnight, but the party went on happily without us. It was a very celebratory day indeed. Claire and Carter are the happiest.

Russ and I met our dearest friends Steve and Suzanne in Westport for Breakfast at Terrain. As Carter’s godmother Suzanne wanted to hear every detail. Since we were each other’s maids of honor we like nothing more than discussing weddings.

It was a great trip to Connecticut. We figure it is not our last. We have a wonderful new family in the making. This makes starting 2025 very happy.

Two Girls, Means Two Rings and Two Proposals

Earlier in the month Claire proposed to Carter. So Carter had her moment and got her ring, but what about Claire? Carter has been planning on proposing to Claire on New Year’s Eve for months, but it was a surprise. It was important to Claire that her family was near by. So Carter coordinated with Claire’s parents, brothers and sister-in-laws since everyone was going to be together for New Years. The surprise was that Russ and I would be here too.

With a large What’s app Group text going of everyone, except Claire, there was lots of discussion about the location and logistics. Cameras were charged and champagne was chilled. Russ and I flew up to Connecticut yesterday. We hid out in Stamford and sent decoy texts to Claire and Carter making look like we were home with Shay. My blog yesterday was about my bed at home so there were be no digital foot print of us being in Connecticut.

We tracked Carter and her location on our phones so we made sure not to run into them. The plan almost got pushed back by Claire’s trip to Old Navy. Russ and I met up with Alex and Lilla, and baby Hadley (Claire’s next up brother’s family), at the Weed Beach Parking lot and we walked to the snack shack where we were going to be hiding. The rest of the family joined us. Barb, Claire’s mother held her grandson Hadley to quite his sweet coo’s as we hid. Claire’s Dad, Duane, was across the water with a paparazzi sized lens on his camera shooting the whole proposal from afar.

Carter proposed to Claire on the dock and we all peered out from behind the snack shack. After Claire said yes, she said we could come out. Having seen the iPhone’s around the corner. Russ and I came out with the rest of her family and she was surprised that we were there. She might have suspected the proposal at the time, but she was not suspecting us.

There were hugs and champagne, tears, a toast and more photos. It was a glorious time. Carter and Claire are so loved and it was so wonderful for me to get to meet Robert and Andrea, Claire’s oldest brother and wife who got married in Germany in September and Lilla and Alex and Hadley, and see Barb and Duane again. These people who love Claire have welcomed Carter into their family and that means everything to us.

Tonight the celebration will continue at Barb and Duane’s House with a party. As far as I am concerned this is the best thing to happen in 2024. I am looking forward to the future for these sweet girls who are surrounded by so much love.

The Best Christmas Presents I Bought Myself

This year we did white elephant for our extended family gifts. My sisters and I decided we would buy all the gifts and divided up the responsibilities. Then there were negotiations about they number and value so I ended up buying extra gifts. We had big and little gift categories

Since we had a mix of people I tried to get gifts that were unisex. I was searching for large gift choices at Costco one day and came upon a king sized down duvet I thought was nice and down pillows. So I bought two pillows that would be one gift and the duvet as another.

When the opening came Carter opened the duvet and made some rumblings that she would be up for being stolen from. Russ stole the duvet from her, which was a kind sacrifice since he would be happy sleeping under a burlap sack.

Then when it came my turn to open in the third round and no one had opened the pillows I picked them, just so they could get into the stealing. No one wanted them and I ended up keeping them.

The day after Christmas I changed the sheets and decided I wanted to wash some of the pillows on our bed. Russ made up the bed with the new pillows and the duvet. I put one of my handmade quilts on top since I did not have a duvet cover yet.

That night I had the best nights sleep I have ever had in my own bed. I thought maybe in was an aberration. Until the next night. The combination of that duvet and pillows with my temperpedic pillow was heaven.

I am so thankful we got to keep the gifts I bought. I feel guilty that no one else stole these gifts now that I know they are so great. If anyone in the family asks about them I will get these things again for next year’s exchange. If not I won’t because I can’t use more, but boy are they great.

D CARTR

In college I had a yellow VW Scirocco with the Connecticut license plate D CARTR. Since my name was Dana Carter my father thought it was a good plate to get me. A bight yellow car parked on the street of Carlisle, Pennsylvania stood out. One day an upper class man, a short little weasley guy who was also from Connecticut asked me if my license plate stood for Dump Carter as he was the fairly unpopular president at the time.

My Carter family is no relation to Jimmy Carter’s family. In college having the same name as President Carter was not necessarily a positive. Interest rates were sky high, the economy was doing poorly, Iran had taken American’s Hostage. I didn’t really want to be associated with Carter. He lost his bid for reelection in 1980 and went back to plains and I kind of got my name back.

Then he started to do great work, both at home and abroad. As the years went by he was improving his legacy, overcoming an unsuccessful presidency. Eventually he built so many Houses for Habitat and oversaw fair elections around the world and taught people what being a good person acted like, that he reached beloved status. Then having the name Carter was a positive.

He made it to 100 years old, the oldest President ever. And now he has left us and does not have to witness what is coming next. I wish that they could hold his funeral until January 20 so we could chose to watch his funeral rather than anything else that happens that day.

Rest in Peace Jimmy Carter. You lived a good life which we all could learn from.

Final Party of the Season

Tonight was our cousin Christmas dinner. It was at our house this year and is my final party I have to cook for. I made a big vegetable lasagna last week in preparation and was thankful I did that in advance so I only had to make Chicken Piccata and a big salad tonight.

Last night we discovered that Shay had a hurt toe nail. First thing this morning we called the vet and texted a photo. The word came back that she needed to go in to see the Doctor. She had split the nail all the way down to the quick, which was starting to get infected and it had to be removed. Russ and Carter had to leave her there while they did the procedure. What came home was a very drugged up baby, with a cone and a wrapped foot, which Russ called her flat tire.

Since she was so out of it we also put her in a diaper. Oh the indignity of the whole thing. She has been slow moving, non-eating and drinking little bit of a thing all day and night. Even when my cousins came she just kind of hung back, not her normal welcoming self.

In spite of Shay’s situation we had a fabulous party with my Mom, Aunt Janie, Cousin Leigh and her husband Peter and girls, Eva and Emerson, Cousin Sarah, her husband Mark and their kids, Sam and Jane.

Everyone is of the age that they are interesting and are doing exciting things. When it came time for dinner we all fit around the dining room table. The highlight of the dinner was the dessert auction. Aunt Janie had brought individual tarts of three types, fruit, lemon and chocolate. So I offered them one at a time and it worked out perfectly that everyone got the kind they wanted. The fun part was every time I said, “Who wants a fruit one?” And someone would raise their hand, everyone clapped as if the hand-raiser had won the tart.

We all agreed that having this cousin’s dinner after Christmas is perfect because everyone is home and it is after all other events are over so it is less stressful. I just love my cousins and am glad Carter loves them too.

Tonight I think Shay will sleep through the night as she appears to still be drugged up. I hope tomorrow she feels a little better.

Carter’s Childhood Friends

My favorite thing about Christmas time is getting to see Carter’s childhood friends. Nothing is better than seeing grown adults who are happy and successful that I have watched grow up.

Today three of the original four of Carter’s school carpool were together at our house, Ellis, Kate and Carter. The only missing member was Mason, who also happens to be Kate’s long time boyfriend. He had to work this week, but was missed.

When these kids started in Pre-K we had a car pool that was managed by Kate’s Mom, Anne, because she worked full time and made sure the schedule was done a month in advance. I loved driving that car pool. The kids treated the drivers as if we were invisible so I learned everything that was going on in school as they talked to each other in the back seats.

The girls also were in Daisy’s and Brownies, swam swim team and we all went to Mother-Daughter Camp together at Seafarer. This car pool lasted all the way through lower school and into middle school. Once sports started in got complicated, but the girls went to DA from Pre-K to graduation. Mason left them to go to boarding school.

While the girls were visiting today I pulled out a photo from 18 years ago when were were at Mother Daughter Camp and the girls recreated the pose, although Ellis said she could not open her mouth that big! They all benefited greatly by orthodontics.

What wonderful women they are now!

Boxing Day- Day Off

Happy Boxing Day. If you are a servant you should have been given your Christmas box of food and a bonus and the day off from work to celebrate Christmas. So I took the day off and was as lazy as possible today, although I am technically only a servant to myself. So no box of food or money, but also no work.

Thanks to 2 advil PM I slept until the unknown hour of 10:30. Then I hurkle durkled around in bed playing games for another hour. Imagine, Half the day gone! Shay was with me the whole time so I felt no guilt as clearly she needed me for snuggling.

Eventually I got dressed and appeared human, which I was not. I moved from games in my bed to the puzzle in the gathering room. I have been making consistent progress on this London puzzle Hannah gave me and it helps that I know London so well because the font sizes used on the puzzle are so small.

The highlight of the day was a visit from my bonus daughter Ashley! She and Carter went to get their nails done and came back for a good visit. Sadly Ashley could not go out to dinner with us. Russ convinced Carter that she needed to try the best Chinese restaurant in Cary. So we made the trek there and Carter said it was worth the drive.

Back at home Carter and I watched some TV and now less than 12 hours since I woke up I am back in bed. The perfect definition of Boxing Day, doing nothing, well virtually nothing.

Happy Boxing Day to one and all.

Wiped Out by Christmas Night

The whole month of December has been dedicated to this day. The decorating, throwing holiday parties, the presents, the wrapping, the cooking, the friends and family and the celebrating all for a child who was born to save us. Well, now I’m wiped out.

It all went well. All the planning paid off. Santa came and was merry. We had a most lovely Christmas with FaceTime with Claire and her sweet family. Then my mother was delivered with my most elf like sister Janet. We had white elephant present stealing games which was kicked off by Janet opening a car vacuum she was most excited about. And my mother mumbled out loud, “I really want that vacuum.” So of course she stole it from my sister. And even though everyone wanted it, no one dared steal it back from my mother.

And so the whole white elephant went, round after round with my mother getting the best of all the gifts. If she wanted it, she got it. Russ selflessly stole things he thought I wanted. Janet, who brought many of the gifts got the short end of the stick, but did not get any garden pots.

We played round and rounds of Play Nine and Carter ending up winning both games. No prizes were involved, but we could have played it late into the night.

I made a big yummy Christmas dinner ending with Carter’s Sticky toffee pudding, a favorite of our English loving family.

As the sun was setting Janet and mom rode off in Janet’s sleigh, back to Mom’s house. And I was spent. And now Christmas is over and I am going to need to hold on to this Christmas spirit though the next 12 months because I am fearful that the Grinch could make things less joyful. I am going to wish as hard as I can that the spirit will embody all the grinches and that their hearts will grow three sizes by next Christmas.

So for all you Christmas lovers, keep the spirit bright. We have to bring the light into the world everyday, as if it is always Christmas because we can not let the darkness ever diminish the light. I may be exhausted today, but tonight I will sleep so that tomorrow can also be a joyful day.

Christmas Eve, Even Better

For many years we have celebrated our Christmas Eve with our dear friends the Tom’s. It works out perfectly since Lynn doesn’t cook and Logan likes to eat. When I run a menu idea by Lynn it really never matters what the main dish is. Her response is always the same, “I’ll just eat sides.” So I changed it up this year and made these delicious giant ribeye pork chops with a ginger pear and mustard sauce. I knew that Logan and the rest of us would love it.

The Tom’s came for dinner and before we sat down to dinner we had to retell old stories about Carter and Ellis, especially all the “Dear Mrs. Lange,” letters I would get from Ellis apologizing for something, which it turns out she was taking the fall for Carter. What a good friend Ellis is and always has been.

We had to eat dinner fairly quickly because we had church. When everyone raved about the pork Lynn decided she needed to try it. I thought lightening might strike our house because she never eats meat, unless I have hidden it in something.

Logan had to have a third serving, so we were running later than I wanted to get to church on Christmas Eve. We have regular seats at Church and all the every Sunday members know it, but on Christmas Eve you get a lot of visitors who can’t tell my butt indentation in my pew cushion. By some Christmas miracle, the church was practically full, except for our row. I asked our friends behind us if they had shooed people away and they laughed saying it just worked out that way.

I was so thankful to be in my normal seat because we had a soloist, the husband of our new Music Director and his performance was so powerful I burst into tears and could not stop crying. Carter felt the same way and taped a short segment, which hardly did it justice.

So many friends were at Church tonight and they all were congratulating Carter on her engagement. The most fun part were her childhood friends who are all now the nicest adults.

After church we returned home with the Tom’s for dessert and more stories. It was more fun and more joyous than even our best years. Ellis has just finished graduate school and is starting her new job in January, Carter got a promotion last month and got engaged. Everyone is happy which makes me so happy. And Lynn ate a little meat and liked it. Merry Christmas Everyone.

Packing It In and Loving It

In any normal year I would never go out in public on this day or tomorrow because all the crazy people who save their Holiday shopping for the last minute are out. Somehow I broke my normal trend.

I had a private Mah Jongg class for a family in Raleigh today. They wanted to learn as much as possible in four hours so I talked lot and fast. They did well.

Getting there and getting home meant I was on the road with the people who are in a panic because they have too much to do and no good plan on how to do it. Eventually I got home relatively unscathed, but not before my friends Ruth E. and her daughter-in-law Kelsey came over to see my needlepoint and play Mah Jongg with me and Carter. Kelsey moved to Boston this year with her husband Snow and has become friends with Carter and Claire so it was great to have them come here. And it is always fun for me to see Ruth E. and Kelsey and play Mah Jongg with them.

No sooner had they left when it was time to get ready to go to the Tom’s house for a cocktail party with old friends and their now grown up children. Carter had a previous dinner plan, but was able to come and see people for an hour. There was lots of congratulations and well wishes on Carter’s engagement.

It was a very fun party, especially seeing all the adult children, but by 8:00 I was done, having been up since 4:45. We were the first to leave and I am proud we made it as long as we did.

I packed in way more than usual for the eve of Christmas Eve, but I had a great day and loved all of it.

The Top Dog is Home

Nothing is better than having Carter home for Christmas. Maybe if Claire came with her it would be better, but they decided that until they are married they will still each go to their own parents. I appreciate this because I know there will be Christmases in my future where she won’t be home.

Russ is particularly happy. Before Carter flew in today I asked him what he wanted for dinner tonight. I suggested Salmon. He said yes, but added that Carter could make her fried lemon pasta. Then I added Broccoli, knowing it was just for me and Carter since Russ does not eat broccoli.

Carter is always a good egg when I give her cooking assignments. Our kitchen was like a restaurant kitchen tonight. I was on the Salmon and Broccoli duty and Russ was Carter’s Sous chef. She instructed him how to make the ricotta topping for the pasta as she was frying the lemons and then making the pasta. Thank goodness we have a six burner stove.

It was a dance of precision, even in our small kitchen. Everyone completed their dishes right at the same moment and we sat down at the table, rather than at the bar. Very civilized.

Russ was so happy to have pasta, something we have not had in a while. Shay was the only one who felt left out and kept annoying Russ to pay more attention to her than to Carter.

Shay is just going to have to readjust. Carter is top dog this week. Plus Carter took on the Christmas sweets cooking assignment. I am so happy to have her home.

People Keep Expecting Food

The problem with the Holiday season is everyone needs to be fed. There are parties to go to and special family meals, like Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but then there is regular lunch. I try to and have some choices in the fridge so people can just have what they want and I am not cooking every meal. This time of year my favorite thing to have on hand is a really good soup with lots of vegetables.

I made a good one two day ago and it was so good I have eaten it everyday and so has Russ. It might not last long enough to be a meal choice during the high holiday days, but I want to memorialize it so I can recreate it. Especially since it was so easy. As I was throwing things in the pot I thought I tipped too much Italian herbs mix it, but it turns out the over seasoning really made it.

1 Butternut squash, peeled, cubed and salted and peppered, roasted in 350° oven for 25 minutes

2 T. Olive oil

2 Big sweet onions diced

4 cloves of garlic minced

6 big carrots, cleaned and chopped into 1/4 inch disks

1 28 oz. Can chopped tomato’s and liquid

1 can light kidney beans

1 can dark Kidney beans

5 spices mango chicken sausages, cut into 1/4 disks

3 quarts Chicken stock

4T. Italian seasoning

1 Big Bunch red kale, de-stemmed and chopped

Parmesan Cheese to sprinkle on top at serving

Roast the butternut squash.

In a stock pot, put olive oil and add onions and cook for two minutes on medium high. Add the garlic and cook another minute. Add carrots and cook until onions are translucent.

Add the tomatoes, cook another 3 minutes.

In a fry pan sauté the sausage until browned. Set aside.

Add the drained beans, butternut squash, Italian seasoning, and stock. Bring to a boil and reduce to simmer. After about 15 minutes add the sausage and cook another 15 minutes.

Add the kale and cook another 3 minutes.

Salt and pepper to taste

Serve with a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese.

I’m Married to Hot Santa

There is a new Kris Kringle in town and he works at Target. This young Hot Kris is now known as Hot Santa. Russ has grown a nice little beard this year and one of his young team mates has likened Russ to the Target Hot Santa. His new work name is Krisruss.

I like this Hot Santa living in my Christmas house. I consider our place something akin to Santa’s work shop and I play all the elves and Mrs. Claus. Santa does not actually make any toys, but he is always checking his list as to who has been naughty and nice.

The only big difference between the Target hot Santa and my Hot Santa is mine does not have a vintage red Bronco, but a tiny white smart convertible. If we were to hook Shay up to the front with her antlers on and Russ had on a red shirt he could totally pass as Hot Santa in his sleigh.

I’m going to have to go rummage through his desk to see which list I am on. I still have two days to make sure I get on the right one.

The Wrapping Secret

I got some big questions about how my presents got wrapped so quickly. Some accused me of wrapping in the summer, which was definitely not the case. I have to leave all my presents unwrapped until close to Christmas so I remember what they are and if I have the right amount for the right people.

My big secret for wrapping started last year when I found these round hat box like Christmas containers at a craft store. Since I don’t have any children to wrap for I can put presents in these boxes with lids. No tape, no bows needed. If someone want to peak inside they can, but at this point I don’t think I have any peepers.

As a child I would snoop and it ruined Christmas. And who hasn’t felt Emma Thompson’s pain in Love Actually when she realizes the gift she found that her awful husband Alan Rickman had was not for her. Snooping never ends well.

So back to my wrapping bonanza. I bought a bunch of these reseusable boxes and they make wrapping fast and green. No paper to throw away and I keep them and use them again next year. I just have to alter the receiver that I would like the box back after they have opened it, unless they want to keep the box and put my present in it next year. This way we can just recycle the boxes back and forth.

The other thing that is great is opening is faster. No scissors needed and no bits of trash to throw away. I’m sure it’s not too late to get some of these boxes, but plan ahead and buy them on sale in October next year. It will save you hours.

Too Ready

All my presents are wrapped. Even the last minute gifts I had to mail do to a change in plans are mailed. The house is decorated, of course. And I even made a vegetable lasagna for a family dinner on the 28 and put it in the freezer today.

I have never been this ready so early. It’s all because I took the month off work. It is a good thing I have classes already scheduled through April, because I am getting a little bored not working. Today I needlepointed and binged watch an old detective show while sitting by the Christmas tree.

Certainly there is something else I should be doing, but I am not racking my brain to think of it. If you need my help now is the time to ask. I might try my hand at baking a loaf of bread or some other intricate task.

All this because I complained about the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas being so short. Now I am ready a week in advance.

The Christmas Collection

When friends ask me where I get my Christmas decorations I give them a long list. Some of my oldest ornaments on my tree are little flat wooden Swedish Ornaments that came from a store in Carlisle, PA, a few doors down from my off campus college house. It technically was a dress store, which had some gifts. I can’t remember the name of the store, which is surprising since I shopped their often, but I know exactly which ornaments came from that store.

I have some decorations I bought at an Amish market I visited when, in college, my friend John Rehor took a few of his to his family’s Pennsylvania farm. I can’t remember exactly where it was, but I remember purchasing these wooden decorations there.

We always buy ornaments on vacation so I have mementos of trips. It’s not always easy since nowadays there are a lot of horrible ornaments that are massed produced.

Sometimes when I come upon a store that has unique things I buy a lot and I am always happy I did because it never fails that those stores with the best things don’t last long.

Many of my decorations I have made mostly as a creative outlet starting when Carter was little and I wasn’t working. It started with my “Happy Birthday Baby Jesus” tree I made because I had all these tiny naked babies from throwing a baby shower for someone and I wanted to repurpose them. For the record, I covered the naked parts in glitter since the plastic babies were too tiny to wrap in swaddling clothes.

Although I make many things I still buy decorations I think are fabulous. This year I was at Home goods, my go to place for unusual decorations, and I saw a whole bunch of small gingerbread houses that I thought were fairly special. Then, as I was considering them I looked up and on the highest shelf I saw a giant ginger bread house, three times as tall as the others. I knew it was the one for me.

This house was on a shelf that I could barely reach the bottom of, while standing on my tippy toes. I looked around the store for help and there was not an elf to be found. Determined to claim this house as my own I carefully started to slide the bottom off the edge. Only then did I realize this thing weighed a good amount. I called out for help and an unsuspecting man peeped his head around the corner. Poor thing, I saw him and in my best teacher voice instructed him to come help me. It took the two of us to get the house off the shelf with completely outstretched arms, holding it over my head, we thankfully lowered it in unison into my cart as if in a well rehearsed synchronized ballet.

When I brought it out this year and put it on the breakfast room table I was very pleased with it. Then last week my friend Kathi brought a set of beautiful sparkly brown and pink bottle brush trees to my Chinese Auction and I got them. They completed the gingerbread house vignette in a way I didn’t know was missing.

I may not always remember exactly when I get or make something, but when it comes to my Christmas decorations I can tell you exactly how each thing came to be.

Friend Christmases

Some days are two party days this time of year and some days are no party days. Today was a two party day. My friend Amy had her Christmas lunch which is always a treat. This year I also got to see her sweet grandson who came to the party. Amy always cooks up a storm and everyone enjoys her fabulous chicken salad. I just love getting a chance to talk with people I don’t see the rest of the year.

Tonight was my second stitching group’s ornament exchange cocktail party. This is my smaller needlepoint group and we not only make ornaments for each other, but we give each other what are the best gifts because we are all women of similar age and interests.

This year I was given an ornament of an LL Bean bag with Owl’s Head stitched on it. Owl’s Head is the town where we stay in Maine. My friend Christy made it and I absolutely love and adore it. Christy is always great at creating the most personal ornament.

Each ornament is made with love and thought for the friend we are making them for. We picked names for next year and I am already thinking about what I can stitch for next year’s recipient.

More than the ornaments, the gifts and the yummy food we all make to share, it is the fellowship and camaraderie of this small group who holds each other tight. It is a tradition I adore and look forward to each Christmas.

Now all the standard friend Christmas parties are over and the next three things will be Christmas Eve with the Tom’s, Christmas Day with my family and then Cousin Christmas dinner on the 28th. Celebrating all month is why I love Christmas best. I may spend lots of time traveling to meet new people all year and teach Mah Jongg, but getting to see my near and dear at Christmas keeps me connected to home.

Share Your Super Power

Last week my wonderful friend and Neighbor Mary Eileen took all my white napkins from our Garden Club Luncheon after it was over. She washed and ironed them and delivered them back to me in 24 hours. This while she was going to Sweden that day.

My 30 year old napkins had never looked so good. Russ washed a group of different napkins I used at my other party. I stacked them up to be ironed, but could tell they didn’t look half as white as the ones Mary Eileen had done.

Some people have super powers and some people are kind, but when someone shares their super power with you, when they hardly have the time to do it, that is a special form of kindness.

Now all I want is for Mary Eileen to give me a laundry lesson. I am happy to cook for her, since that is my super power, but making standard white cotton catering napkins look good is a real talent.

For the coming year I encourage everyone to share their special talent with at least two other people. That way it will never be lost.

Bill’s in the House

Lynn and Logan took us to the UNC basketball game this afternoon. The Heels were playing La Salle, which was, as it should have been, a game they won. But the excitement was not the game they won, but the half time show.

With about four minutes to play in the first half, the announcer came over the loud speaker and asked all the fan to remain in their seats at the start of half time. Logan and I high-fived each other as we had heard rumors of a visitor to the game. Since it was not a full house for the game, being a non-conference affair, they needed every Carolina fan to stay put.

The half ended and the player retreated to the locker rooms. Jones Angell, the Carolina play-by-play radio announcer for both Carolina Basketball and football came out to center court and introduced the new Carolina football coach, Bill Belichick.

Bill walked out from the UNC tunnel to a standing ovation of Carolina faithful. He spoke a few words, not many and then introduced the first Belichick recruit of a QB from North Carolina. That kid predicted great things. Something the coach knew not to do. The crowd was pumped.

That excitement carried through for the rest of the game. Too bad Carolina was not playing Duke because the players were definitely pumped up from the excitement of the announcement even though it’s not even their sport.

Hopefully Bill will prove that he can be a great college coach and not just the coach who was lucky to have Tom Brady. Carolina can’t afford for him to fail.

Don’t Harass Old Ladies

It was take your mother on errands day. My Mom still drives, but only to places she is familiar with and have driven to many times. That means no driving in Durham, except back to Providence.

One of the errands today was to a bank. My mother had an account from a South Carolina bank since 1994. The bank has been sold multiple times. She still had an account at this bank for one certain thing. The bank recently contacted my mother that they could no longer cash her checks until she signed a new signature card. The only issue is this particular bank did not have a branch near my mother.

She contacted them and asked if she could do it electronically. She is very familiar with docUsign. After a very long call with an unhelpful young man she was told she must visit a branch. That’s where I came in. We found a branch in Raleigh.

I can’t tell you the last time I had been inside a bank, but I was most assumed by the sign on the door, “America’s most convenient bank.” I wondered who awarded them that title. It certainly could not have been a little old lady customer.

It took much longer than it should have to get my mother’s official signature due to a very slow, or very unknowledgeable clerk. Really not that convenient.

Big Time Two Auctions in One Day

Today was Lynn and my annual Chinese Auction Party at my house and the Families Moving forward Annual Gala where I was the Host and Auctioneer. Talk about two differing auctions all on the same day!

Chinese Auction is like a white elephant, but the gifts need to be good. I have been doing this party for about 22 years, the last 15 or 16 with Lynn. It is one of my favorite parties of the year. We raised the dollar limit on what people could spend on their gift, basically because Lynn has been buying Kai lotion for years blowing past the dollar limit. I never care what the dollar limit is because I usually make my gift. This year I made four painted Christmas balls and they were a highly stollen gift.

We had a French lunch of Croque Monsier and salad. So I had to make those this morning before everyone got to the party. I would have been fine, but I was rewriting my script I had just received for the Families Moving Forward Auction, that was tonight.

Months ago my friend from church, Carol Mansfield asked me if I would be the auctioneer for their Gala. I was happy to help. I had a couple of meetings with them and she was right, they were leaving money on the table. At last years auction they were thrilled when they blew by their goal of $17,000 and got $25,000. I told them they needed to raise their goal to $100,000. I’m not going to do an event that is not trying to raise at least that much.

They had a generous donor who gave them $50,000 and we used that as a challenge grant if we raised the $100,000. So the total for the night we were looking to raise $150,000, which we did and then some.

There is nothing more fun than raising a lot of money for an organization doing great work. Jennings’s Brody had donated her blueberry farm for a chefs dinner for 25 with Gray Brooks of Pizzeria Toro and Littler being the chef. Well Matt Kelly of Vin Rouge and Arron Benjamin of Gocciolona jumped on board at the last minute so we were able to sell that dinner for $12,000 with lots of bidding. Oh I love being an Auctioneer for charity.

It was a very fun day. One I can’t repeat every week, but am sure glad it happened today.

Green Peppercorn Sauce – Green Peppercorn Chicken

Many decades ago I had a party and had a lot of leftover Orange Juice. I racked my brain what I could do with it and developed this sauce which has been a favorite ever since. It takes a while to make, but once you have it it will keep in the fridge for a long time.

It is good on chicken, fish, pork, steak, frittata, you name it, just not cake. You can scale it up if you have a big group to cook for and do it in advance.

Dana’s Green Peppercorn Sauce

1 Quart Orange juice

1 cup of balsamic vinegar

4 T. Worcestershire Sauce

2 T. Dijon mustard

2T. honey

1/3 Cup of green peppercorns that were in brine, drained

In a big sauce pan put the orange juice, balsamic vinegar and Worcestershire sauce. Bring to a boil and reduce to simmer. Simmer until the liquid has reduced to about 1/3 its original volume. This will take a few hours. Keep a watch on the pan because as it reduces you may have to turn the flame down.

When it is reduced, add the other ingredients and continue to simmer for about half an hour. It should get to be sauce like rather than liquid.

My favorite way to use it is to cook chicken thighs in a fry pan with salt and pepper on them until browned on all side. Place in a baking dish and spoon the sauce over the thighs and bake in 350° oven until they reach 185° internally. How long that is depends on how much you cooked the thighs in the fry pan and how big they are.

The leftovers of the thighs are even better because the sauce permeates the meat.

Garden Club Auction 2024

It was a rainy day and my front walkway was slippery. Not the best way to start. Thankfully Kate says she is fine and no one else slipped. Sorry everyone had to leave through my disastrous garage, but better safe than sorry.

I have to send a big shout out to Kay, Carolyn and Stephanie who were the greatest co-hostess. They stood in the kitchen getting everything ready while I was auctioneering. They are a well oiled machine and I appreciate all the work they do especially the cleaning up.

I actually bid on a fun holiday purse that sparkles and won it. Not that I am going anywhere, but someday I will go and will light up the place.

There have been a lot of requests for my Green peppercorn Chicken recipe. I will make it my blog tomorrow, so those of you who keep texting me asking for the recipe you only have to wait 24 hours.

For now I am resting as I am exhausted. Thanks for coming and biding!

My New TV Might Kill Me

My hearing is not quite as good as it used to be. My younger husband points this out in varying ways. On Friday he came into our bed room and said, “do you hear the TV?” It was off so I thought it was a trick question. “Of course I don’t hear the TV.”

My engineer husband said, “ The power supply is clicking. The TV has died.” He knew without trying to turn the thing on.

Sure enough he was right. The TV was dead. It was our first flat screen, so it was old. It also lived in a linen press so it got hot and the back of it never got dusted. Not sure if it was the heat or the dust that got to it, no autopsy was done.

We went to Costco and got a new, bigger TV, which had to be placed on a dresser, so we swapped places with the linen press. It is amazing how cheap TV’s are these days, but what is expensive is the graduate degree I need to get to learn how to use it.

The TV has fire TV installed in it, but we have Apple TV and spectrum. So trying to figure out how to find my channels and change them is next to impossible. Yesterday I stumbled upon ABC, but when it came time for CBS Sunday morning I tried to change the channel. I missed the first 20 minutes of the show because I couldn’t figure it out. I can talk to the TV, but she and I don’t speak the same language.

Russ is on a business trip and I might not have enough time in my day to find my show. Good thing I am busy because Learning how to use another TV might just kill me. The only thing I can do is change the volume, good thing, since according to Russ I am going deaf.

Garden Club Christmas Auction Is Coming, Some Advice

I spent the better part of today cooking for my Garden Club’s Christmas Auction which will be held at my house on Tuesday. It is one of my favorite events every year. 50 members of Hope Valley Garden club and some invited guests come together to raise money for the charitable organizations we support.

I volunteer my house and myself as a hostess every other year, but am the auctioneer every year. I am not alone in this effort. There is a solid team of friends who are my A -team and co-hostesses. This group is not only reliable, but do all the work in the kitchen while I am auctioneering and I have great confidence that they will get the whole lunch on the table and ready the second the auction is over. They have never failed in all the years we have been doing this.

In spite of all this preparation there are always things that come up that throw me off a little. Some are no big deal. Today my friends Lynn and Anne showed up with their auction item, a beautiful fiddle leaf fig. They rightfully thought it was best to bring it here when it is not raining. So now it is waiting in the dining room in a sunny spot.

Earlier this week I got an email from a member wanting to drop off her auction item because she was going out of town. Normally not an issue, but her item was a 9 x 13 inch pan that needed to go in my freezer. She did ask if I had room, but followed it up with, “If you don’t have room, do you know who might?”

I almost spit out my tea when I read that. First asking me to put anything in my freezer during a holiday is a big laugh, let along a 9 x 13 pan, but that is not as absurd as the idea that I have any idea what others have in their freezers.

What I wanted to say is, “ Wait, let me check the freezer cameras I have on all my friend’s freezers.” Not what I said. It was easier to say, “I’ll make it work.” So I reorganized and made room. We agreed on a time she would bring it to me. I waited around two hours and after the time passed got a message that she had an emergency and was not going to bring it at all and instead would donate something else. So glad I did the work to solve the issue.

This is not the first time someone has shown up at my house with something they wanted to put in my fridge or freezer. Don’t do it. If what you bring requires cooling bring your own cooler. I don’t have the space or the time to make room while I am trying to throw a party.

Here is my public service announcement. Never ask me if I have room in my freezer. You are going to get a cheeky answer. If you need to find room in someone else’s freezer, do the work yourself. My network of freezer camera’s is permanently down.

Happy Birthday to Carter

Happy Birthday to my old soul, sweetest daughter Carter. You were the best present I ever got and now you have gotten the best present, Claire and Norman.

I am so happy for all your happiness. You deserve all the love and joy you are experiencing. I have loved seeing you grow up to be the great woman you are. All the stages of your life had brought you to this moment and it is just the beginning of your next chapter.

Thanks for making your father and me so proud of you. We love you.

The Happiest Day for Carter and Claire

It happened! Claire asked Carter to marry her tonight! Carter of course said YES!

Russ and I knew it was coming. Claire talked to us in April. We adore Claire and she and Carter are so happy together. Carter had also talked to us about it. Carter thought Claire should be asked first, but Claire surprised Carter and asked her first.

Tomorrow is Carter’s birthday and Claire planned a weekend trip to Kennebunk, Maine. She told us she was going to ask Carter today because she wanted to spend the whole weekend celebrating. We have been keeping this secret for a while.

Claire even enlisted Carter’s work friends to get her to get a manicure before the company Christmas Party so they were done for the proposal.

Knowing it was about to happen Russ and I hung out at home waiting for the FaceTime call. It was the sweetest call I have ever been part of. They are so cute. We are over the moon.

Now they are celebrating with some random lobsters.

I Want a Christmas Market

It’s cold. I love it. It is giving me that Christmas feeling. We had a crazy warm fall. It was really more like third summer. But now it is actually cold, like put on my Lanz nightgown cold.

So with this real cold weather what I would really like is a an outdoor nighttime Christmas market like we visited in Germany and Prague. Instagram has been reading my mind and showing me Alsace Christmas Markets in the region of France snuggled up next to Germany.

Looking at the photos made me even look at flights from RDU to Frankfort which is a quick trip to Strasbourg. Sadly this does not fit in my schedule this year. But I can dream.

So now I am interested in finding a local Christmas market. I don’t want anything like the state fair in red and green, but a real European market with crepes wrapped in paper that you can eat walking around while looking hand hand carved wooden ornaments.

I know this does not exist close by. This is my own Hallmark movie. No romance needed, maybe some cute dogs dressed in sweaters and a steamy mug of mulled cider in a take home pottery mug.

I obviously have too much time on my hands to be dreaming this up. But it is better to think about than the real world. Maybe I am going to have to live the next four years in my own made up Hallmark movie.

Grout Medic Extraordinaire

A few months ago I noticed two lines in the grout of our shower were becoming raised above the tile. This made standing on them painful. I also was having a very hard time getting my grout and tile totally clean. I was unsure exactly how to deal with this and then my friend Christy said she had the Grout Medic coming to her house to re-grout her tile. I called them right up! The owner came and gave me an estimate to re-grout and re-caulk my shower and re-caulk Carter’s Bathtub.

My shower was a whole day job, and Carter’s was just a few hours. They originally wanted to send two people to do both jobs on the same day, but then I learned you can’t use the shower for 24 hours before they come and 48 hours after they finish. So we separated the jobs by a few days so we could still have one of our best showers to use.

Our Grout tech, Diamond, showed up this morning and got right to work. She was clean and quiet and worked diligently. I was told that the bathroom would take 11 hours, but she was done is less than seven and everything is perfect. Especially the condition of the rest of the bathroom she did not work on. There is not a spec of dust.

She will be back Friday to do Carter’s bathroom. This is not the cheapest service, but it makes a huge difference and was done so well. I am not posting this for your information, but for mine. So when I need to have any grout work done I can search my blog and find the name of who I used so I can call them again.

Evil Underneath

We have a neighbor who decorates for many holidays in extravagant ways. At Halloween he put out this giant tall skinny scary guy from some move, maybe Nightmare on Elm street. Then the day after Thanksgiving all his Christmas lights were up.

Carter asked me as we drove by his house about the Halloween guy who was still up along with the Christmas. I said, “Maybe he will turn into the grinch.”

I was wrong. He turned into Santa, but not a friendly kind of Santa. Just a scary creepy guy disguised as Santa, but with an evil heart.

I feel like that is a metaphor for America. We have a bunch of creepy guys who are out right horrible in the open. Then we have another group of creepy guys who are wolves in sheep clothing. Pretending to be good, but are actually evil through and through.

Don’t be fooled by the outward appearance. Look into the souls of people and find the truly good ones and stick with them. I believe that good has to win out over evil. I just hope I live long enough to see the good shine through and bring the bad guys into the light, like the grinch, whose heart grew three sizes in one day. Please bring me a Christmas miracle.

Needlepoint Ornament Exchange- The kick off of Christmas Parties

This is my tenth anniversary of hosting the needlepoint ornament exchange. I was a newly initiated stitcher into the group ten years ago. They were an intimidating group of beyond expert stitch artists. I felt welcomed and loved that first year and have ever since.

The make up of the group has ebbed and flowed. We lost one Ann to St. Louis and another to heaven. Some had grandchildren to stitch for and others were over extended. We miss each one of them. But new stitchers were invited in and have filled the places in new and fun ways.

Every year it is so exciting to see what someone else has stitched for each other in secret. The creativity is overwhelming as is the cheeky or sweetness. This year was no exception.

We finally did away with one tradition that had gotten out of hand; the giving of a dozen individual gifts along with your ornament. We replaced the individual gifts with a bigger gift exchange. Since most people were new to this so there was not much stealing, except for the Nantucket Bracelets Lisa made. Christy strategically stole back the gift she brought, angus Barn cheese and crackers in a scout cooler bag, just so someone would steal it from her and she could end up with the bracelets. Which she did.

Kate picked to open a new gift and it turned out to be a puzzle, something she hates more than anything else on earth. In the end Christy, who had played the game better than anyone else, generously traded the much loved bracelets to Kate for hated puzzle. It was an act of such generosity. Kate has learned not to open a new gift, but to steal. Better to get something you kind of like than something you hate.

I got the cutest ornament from Julie this year, “The hostess with the mostest.” And I stitched one for Lisa, “I am fucking merry and bright”. Funny how they both had sayings on them as they were the only ones like that. We picked names for next year so it’s time to do some detective work to see what I can make for my 2025 person.

Some Memories Feel Like Yesterday

Seventeen years ago today four mothers surprised four daughters with an instant trip to NYC. We didn’t tell our girls, ages 8 & 9 in advance. We woke them up and flew them to NYC for a fun filled long weekend. They even got to miss a day of school.

On this weekend, we visited FAO Schwartz, went to see the Mary Poppins musical, went to the Metropolitan museum of art and the American Girl doll store. We ate in china town, at French restaurants, stopped at many Starbucks and rode busses, subways and walked many blocks out of our way.

I think I can relive the whole weekend in my brain. It was such a memorable trip. So when this photo popped up on my iPad as the memory of the day I felt like I was right there, in front of Pastis in the freezing cold, laughing at the girls having a ball.

This memory was the perfect way to end the holiday weekend, since Carter flew home to Boston yesterday.

Christmas is Coming

T’was the night before December first and all through the house, every surface is glittery, except for my spouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, but fresh greenery is needed with no time to spare.

My child was my helper, to move boxes and bags, along with her father whose spirit just lags.

But I put out every Santa and standing tall cracker, which gave him a smile which I should have shellacered.

The tree is the hardest thing to move in, Carter suggested we should hire some men.

But before you could say it, it stood tall as could be. The greenest fir ever, our little ‘ole tree.

I went right to work hanging snowmen and stars, it took more time than going to mars.

The angels they sparkled, the balls how they glowed, getting Christmas up now so I don’t call a code.

The villages rose from the side board and tables, the glass ones, the houses and gingerbread maple.

The needlepoint garland was chock full of stitching, awaiting the first party on Monday there’s no time for bitching.

The wreaths and the ribbons, are hung here and there, it’s time to start celebrating the month that I share.

So December will come with the light of our savior, I will feed all my friends all the best flavors.

Dog are Not Good Decorators

There are certain things dogs are good at. Doing the dishes, at least the pre-scrape, being cute, acting regal. Then there are things dogs are not good at…Helping put up the Christmas tree, putting hangers on ornaments, tying bows, hanging stockings. When it comes to the day after Thanksgiving Shay is no help whatsoever since Christmas throws up around here. It takes more than one day. She hasn’t helped so far. She mostly stays out of the room I am working in since she gets no cuddles.

But the second a crystal ornament, carried home from Prague five years ago, jumps off the tree and shatters into ten thousand pieces she is right there to inspect, even when commanded, “Do Not Come Up here!”

Thankfully her other Mother Carter and father Russ jumped into action and got the broom and shop vac to clean up the disaster because it could be terrible for Shay if she stepped on those shards.

The tree is still not complete, but I hit a wall at 5:30 today and the rest will have to get done tomorrow. That’s when a second deep vacuuming will take place and Shay will be allowed to come and stand beside the tree and look like she had something to do with it.

No Fighting for Thanksgiving

For most of my life Thanksgiving was my father’s big holiday. There is nothing he liked better than to cook large, I mean giant, portions of rich food and feed everyone. Then he would host lots of my friends and their kids for a big day at the farm the day after Thanksgiving and we would all go to the Mexican restaurant near his house where he was treated like a King because he was the best tipper in town. We hardly ever fought at the Mexican restaurant.

Since he has been gone the last few years Thanksgiving has taken on a calmer and more serene vibe. Carter does most of the cooking until the last minute stuff when I step in to get everything finished at the same time.

When my Dad was alive we often would have some big fight at the dinner table. An unnamed relative would say, “You aren’t going to like this, but I am going to say it anyway.” I would beg, “whatever it is, don’t say it.” And then be ignored and the fight would break out.

Despite that history we went back year after year anticipating a good Thanksgiving due to some kind of amnesia. Some years I would invite new friends who had no relatives to annoy them, in the hopes that their presence would temper the fighting, but no, it would still break out.

This year instead of fighting I had medical forms to fill out with my mother about her wishes in terms of potential catastrophic medical issues. Feeding tube or no feeding tube? An interesting question right before the big meal. Considering how little my mother eats a feeding tube would not be necessary.

We miss my Dad, but quite frankly Thanksgiving is a much more pleasant holiday. Nothing bad was brought up and no fighting took place. Given the state of our country I find this to be a Thanksgiving miracle.

Cooking Mah Jongg Wicked

In exactly that order. I didn’t really have to cook. I made cranberry yesterday, but Carter has most of Thanksgiving under control. She made the hominy corn pudding, prepped the vegetable for the stuffing and spatchcocked the turkey and dry brined it. She was a boss cutting out the back bone and breaking the breast bone. I was happy to watch and instruct when needed. She also made turkey stock from the back bone, neck and wing tips so we are ready to make gravy tomorrow.

She did all this after working today. I cleaned while she worked, but after the cooking we played Siamese Mah Jongg. It is always good to have such a great opponent.

We went to the 6:30 showing of Wicked part 1. Carter had bought the tickets last week and there was not a seat in the place. Thank goodness for assigned seating at silver spot. We loved the movie. The singing was fabulous, but the costumes were my favorite part. They have to win the Oscar for them. Two of the best songs, “popular” and “defying gravity” were in this part, but “changed for the better” must be in part 2 which will not come out until next Thanksgiving. I guess we know what we will be doing.

It was the perfect day before Thanksgiving. Nothing Christmas was done all day! Happy Turkey day to all of you.

Thankmas

In the spirt of Thanksmas I put up the needlepoint garlands today. I did not count how many ornaments went on them, but it is over 200. I love getting a chance to think about where I was when I stitched each of them, or who stitched the ones I have received as gifts.

I felt vindicated in pushing Christmas up a little when I got our first Christmas card today. It was from Carter and Claire. The photo was a cute one of them laughing while on a trip to Germany to attend Claire’s brother Robert’s wedding to Andrea.

It was a memorable trip for them and I love that they captured that special time and made it their first Christmas card together.

Carter and Claire’s card breaks the decades long streak the Dunks have held as being the first card we get every Christmas. It has always come on the Friday after Thanksgiving and we will see if they stay true to that schedule.

I stopped sending Christmas cards years ago because I write this daily blog and it seemed redundant to send a card when anyone who really wanted to know what we were up to could read one or two of my blogs. Some of my friends are faithful daily readers and when I see them I don’t have to waste anytime talking about me and we can just talk about what they have been up to.

I feel that way when I get Christmas cards from friends I don’t see often, but love seeing what they have been doing each year.

I promise that tomorrow will be all about Thanksgiving prep with no talk of Christmas. We have a small celebration this year so it won’t take us long to get ready. Carter and I are going to see Wicked tomorrow night. Doing a pre-Thanksgiving movie rather than post so I can get right back to Christmas decorating as soon as the bird is put away. I look at next year’s calendar and we are going to be in for the same scenario but with one more day between Thanksgiving and Christmas. We have to wait until 2028 before we have a five week time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. At this point 2028 is looking like it could be a very good year.

Christmas is Slipping In

It was another very early morning, but for a great reason. Carter flew in from Boston arriving at 8:00 this morning. I was so excited I woke up at 5:30. That and Shay needed to go out she was so excited.

Carter’s flight left Boston twenty minutes early, thus landing equally early. I was a few minutes late since she was so early. She had a full work day, but we did get to eat lunch together and after work she helped me put up the new tree I had been painting all the Christmas balls for.

Sadly I dropped one on the tile floor and in broke. Thankfully it was my least favorite one. After we put the balls on Carter hung the ribbons on this tree as I made them. She was very nervous about placement since she has a lifetime trauma of my Christmas decorating instructions.

We both are in a better place than when she was four. I let her decide on her own where the ribbons would go, only giving advice when she asked for it.

She has definitely got my Christmas genes as she and Claire already put their tree up and have done all their Christmas decorating. Carter said she was quite shocked that it only took a little more than an hour. She has been sensitized to the Christmas throwing up at our house taking three days.

I did decide yesterday that I just can’t wait until after Thanksgiving to start, so tomorrow I will put the needlepoint garland up. It takes a good amount of time and no one tires of looking at it. I just haven’t told Russ. If he says anything I will say Carter said it was OK.

Reality Ministries Talent Show

Many years ago I was introduced to Reality Ministries by Beth Sholtz. It is a program for adults with intellectual differences who come there for fellowship and a place to be friends. I later went on to write a piece for Durham Magazine about Susan McSwain the founder. She was and continues to use to be a kind person who believes everyone on earth has great value and belongs.

Staff, Volunteers and participants are all called by the same title, FRIENDS. There are no distinctions as everyone is a worthy person. My Dear friend Lynn has been a Friend at Reality for years. It is the perfect place for her to spend her time because she has never met someone she did not love and everyone loves Lynn.

Tonight Reality had its big talent show. This show is put on by all the Friends. It was held at the DPAC and had almost 2,000 people in attendance. I went with Lynn so I got to sit in the third row with many other friends from Reality.

As Lynn was a greeter I sat along in the middle of the row with the perfect seat. A few minutes after I sat down this man who was about my age came along and sat two seats away from me. Since I knew the place was going to be packed I invited him to sit right next me to and struck up a conversation with him.

His name was James Charles. He had been a friend at Reality and might still be. I didn’t quite catch that part of his introduction. Lynn eventually came long and I introduced them and we all had a great time watching each of the act. There was piano playing, singing, dancing, comedy and skits.

James particularly liked when any Micheal Jackson song was preformed. The whole audience joined in the finale of “We are the world.”

Reality is such a special place. Anyone who visits walks away feeling happy. Finding things for adults with any differences to go and do and make friends and belong is missing in our world. I always smile whenever I go there and the talent show was no different.

If you feel the inclination to help Reality here are a few ways to give from the show program. If you want to volunteer or visit I can hook you up with the wonderful people there. I promise it will make you life happier.

I’m a Mess

Last night I went to bed sometime before 10. Not sure exactly when as I just passed out. I woke up and went to the bathroom and I felt like I had gotten plenty of sleep so I looked at the time. It was 1:06. Not plenty.

I lay back down and did my best to go back to sleep. After an eternity of being awake I played wordle and my other games on darkness mode so as not to screw up my system. It was 2:07. Then I put my phone down and tried to go back to sleep again. Still awake at 3:30 I decided to get up.

I snuck up to my elf painting area and did some Christmas painting and watched a hallmark Christmas Movie. At 6:00am Russ came up and asked what in the world was going on. I was a mess at 6:00 am and I continued to be a mess all day.

I make a giant pot of Beef Bourguignon and Brussels sprouts and butternut squash salad as I am bringing Holley and her family dinner tomorrow. Those are not quick dishes, but my tired ass was moving very slowly. At one point when my biggest Le Creuset was in the oven I lay down on the sofa for a quick 30 minute nap.

The oven timer woke me so I had to get up to continue on to the next step in the recipe. Eventually I hit a wall and Shay and I took a real nap in bed. It wasn’t close to making up for the 1 Am. I had to get up and shower to go to Sam and Ella Wolman’s celebration of their wedding last month.

I rallied enough to go to the party, see many friends and wish Tom and Lee congratulations. I hit another wall and Lynn came over and said it looks like you are planning your exit. Nothing like my great pal reading me perfectly.

Now I am doing my best to stay awake until a reasonable hour so I don’t wake up again in the middle of the night. I was productive at 3:30 in the morning, but not at 11:30. Being a mess does not suit me.

The Holiday Season Officially Started

Last night I finished my last class of the year. It was a beyond Beginner class of lovely women in Cary at Home for entertaining. I adore teaching there because the family who owns the business could not be nicer. As it is not a private club anyone can come and take lessons there. This is great for the single people who call me asking to get into a class. I will be back at home for entertaining in the new year.

I purposely scheduled myself time off between Thanksgiving and new years. If I don’t block time out on my calendar I would end up teaching everyday. As much as I love it, I also have other interests too.

So my holiday officially started today with a Friendsgiving lunch at my Neighbor Mary Eileen’s. It was a wonderful gathering of friends for a quick lunch. Mary Eileen had invited us to come dine outside, but she decided at the last minute it was too cold, so we ate in her beautiful dining room. I think she had us over just so she could use her pumpkin soup bowls. I am not mad about it.

After lunch it was back to my painting sweatshop trying to finish up my Christmas decoration creations. I am very happy how my Christmas balls turned out, so I am making more for gifts. I also have almost finished my Nutcrackers. If I had know how well they would have turned out I would have bought more blank wooden Nutcrackers. Of course they are sold out now. It’s Ok. I really don’t have time to make more than the 12 I have already painted.

My deadline for this project is Sunday and I have a dozen more things to do this weekend. See the Holiday has officially started!

The Last Of It

We may get frost tomorrow. It has been 276 days since our last frost. That was in February. That is a long ass time between frosts. Who needs winter clothes anymore?

The only thing left in my garden are pepper plants. They miraculously survived without rain for months and no tending from me. Once we leave for Maine I am done with my garden. This year I left on August 6 and here we are more than 3 months later and we still have peppers.

Russ went outside in the dark with a flashlight to do the final harvest, since he eats peppers every morning in his breakfast scramble he wanted these last ones. It will be at least six months before I can grow him new ones.

Stay warm tomorrow. It may be. Little colder than you are used to.

The Search for A Recipe

I hate when I remember eating something at someone’s house that I loved, but not remembering where I put the recipe when they gave it to me. The last time I ate it was probably close to 15 years ago. I can’t ask the person for the recipe again because it includes meat, which they gave up long ago. So the chance of them even having the recipe is small.

I never used to write recipes down, because I create as I cook, but then people would ask me for a Recipe it was much harder to remember what I put in it a few days after the fact.

For some reason I am craving this tomato, beef and rice soup which was kind of sweet and sour. I am sure I can just experiment and figuring it out, but the original was so perfect I would rather find the recipe.

It’s funny how food goes in and out of style. Not Mac and cheese, but when was the last time you had chicken à la king? I don’t think I ever need to eat chicken à la king ever again. Maybe that’s why it went out of style.

The internet is only so good for old recipes. Since the internet is only 20 + years old it does not have a lot of old recipes unless people have made them recently. I guess I am going to have to do the old fashioned thing and look at my old cook books and see what I can come up with.

So much research, so little time.

Princess and the Pea

I am a total princess and the pea when it comes to my bed, the light in my bedroom and the noise level. The noise I can’t control so thankfully I live in a quiet place.

The bed I can control and am always judging other beds I sleep in. Is it more or less comfortable than my bed at home. If more, what kind is it, what brand sheets are they using, what kind of pillows? So many variables go into making the perfect bed. I really should travel with at least one of my pillows and I don’t. Sometimes that is a horrible mistake. I try and put different kinds of pillows in my guest room so a guest might find one or a combination of pillows they like.

The big thing I have finally found a solution for is errant lights that remain on all the time. I am not talking about lamps, but those tiny bright lights on electronics that tell you they are on, or the worst offender, the clock on the cable box. I have had a whole nights sleep ruined by a smoke detector light glaring at me from the ceiling right over my bed in a hotel.

What is the purpose for these lights other than to tell you they are constantly on? My smoke detectors beep when the battery needs changing, why do I need a laser red light blasting me through every night?

In my bedroom, the security system light, the Alexa light, the cable box and one of my Apple chargers all emit lights that for years annoyed me. I finally found the solution. A company made little decals that greatly reduce the light I can see. One of the red lights on one device was so strong I put two stickers on it and that did the trick. Interestingly when I used my iPhone to try and take a picture of how I can’t see the clock on the cable box with the sticker on it, I found that the IPhone can see through the sticker. How interesting. So these stickers are just good for humans.

That’s all fine. The cutting out of these annoying tiny lights has been a game changer. Of course none of these things bother Russ. He could sleep on a bed of nails with sand paper as sheets, a WWE match blaring on the TV and he would sleep right through it. Turn the TV off and he would wake right up. Thankfully my covering up the offending lights does not bother him. Now I have to remember to take these stickers on vacation.