Welcoming Newcomers

Russ and I got a new job at church. We are running the newcomers class. For as long as I can remember Daren Skeen ran this class. I used to come to one of them to explain church finances to the newcomers so I knew about but about the class. I can’t remember what it was like when we took it, since it was 26 years go and called inquirers class.

Twice a year we have these classes at Westminster for people who want to consider joining the church. Honestly it is a choice assignment for us because we get to meet so many nice people by doing this job.

This morning was out first class. The “get to know you” class. We had Ashley Barnes come to represent the welcoming committee. Thank goodness because the pastor who was supposed to come was sick, so Ashley took the notes. Russ and I brought the snack and set up the coffee. Then I ran the meeting since Russ will run next weeks. He did all the clean up which took almost as long as the class.

As we went around the room, everyone introduced themselves and gave a little information about themselves. Russ was happy as many of them were engineers. Each person was so interesting and accomplished. I was most intrigued by the two UNC saxophone Professors who are going to marry each other this spring. I had no idea that a school would have two Saxophone professors.

We also had a family from Taiwan. This is really helping our diversity Which is something we always are striving for. How can we help the world if we don’t understand all the different kinds of people in the world?

One theme ran through, people were coming because they like our involvement in the community. I am glad they found us. Now Russ and I have to do a good job helping them see if they want to join.

My Beautiful 87 Year Old Mother

It’s Janie’s Birthday! Looking great at 87. Russ and I went to pick her up and take her out to lunch, but first Russ gave her her best present, fixing a computer issue. I am never allowed to let anything happen to Russ as long as my mother is alive.

While he was fixing that issue I looked at the six beautiful flower arrangements my sister Janet sent my mother. Don’t tell my sister, but she is exactly like my dad in the gift giving department. Over the top! I can’t compete, but I bring Russ.

We went to the WaDu for lunch. It was a lovely sunny day and we had a yummy time. The best thing for my Mom is she only ate a quarter of her salad so now she has leftovers for days.

I’m not sure when she is going to have time to eat it with all her birthday celebrations with her friends. She said she thought people were going all out because they thought this might be her last birthday. Ha! She is in great shape and so happy. We have many more birthdays to come with her.

I’m just glad today was such a good one.

Always Assume People Are Nice

This morning I went to get a much overdue pedicure. Since I don’t get a manicure I am able to needlepoint while getting my toes done. I am working on a seat for one of my game table chairs. The canvas is not painted and I am freehand stitching it. I was just working on the back ground, which is huge and very boring.

You know when you go get a pedicure at a place where everyone who works there speaks a language you don’t you can still figure out when they are talking about you. So as the various nail techs where talking across the whole shop and looking at me I asked the sweet woman working on my nails if they had any questions for me.

She blushed and shook her head in embarrassment. Then one of the bossier techs said, “Yes, what are you making?” They were just curious about my big white canvas and what in the world it might become.

I unrolled the whole thing and showed them, explaining it would become the cover for a seat on a chair. One by one, as they finished with their customers they came up and looked more closely at my needlepoint. They said things like, “I don’t think I could do that.”

I told them that what they do with nails is way harder than needlepoint and they absolutely could do it. When my feet were in the dryer I had two different women come sit by me and I taught them basket weave while I worked and my polish dried. It seems like I can’t go anywhere and not teach people something.

Another customer who walked out with me said, “You were so brave to call them out when they were talking about you.”

I nicely said to her, “I wasn’t brave. They weren’t being malicious. Their language sounds different to us, but they are so nice, like most people. They were just curious, but too afraid to ask.”

She went on, “Oh, I assume they are saying something not nice.”

I wanted to say to her, “That says everything about you and nothing about them,” but I didn’t. I didn’t want to stoop to her level.

Home For Entertaining

I just finished my two classes this week at Home for Entertaining in Cary. As I was walking out the door at 9:45 tonight I said to Dan, one of the owners, “Don’t miss me too bad.” As I had been there for 9 hours each day for the last three days.

He responded, “It’s like you are doing a residency here, like the stars in Las Vegas.”

I love it when anyone might think of me as a star in Las Vegas.

Home for Entertainment has been a great partnership for me. They are a business that sells home things for Entertaining in a beautiful house that doubles as an entertainment spot. They hold classes and events there. When I teach there they serve food and drinks to the students and I teach in a beautiful room with comfortable tables and chairs. And they are run by the nicest family!

The best part is since it is not a club, anyone can sign up to take classes there. So if I get inquiries from a single person about trying to get into one of my classes I tell people about Home for Entertaining.

I will be at Home for Entertaining regularly. So if you want a mah Jongg class you can always go to their website and look at the events tab and find my classes. They also do all kind of cooking classes, so after you learn mah Jongg you can learn how to make dim sum. I think I might need to take that class!

Is It Still January?

This might be the longest month in history. It has been cold, cold, cold in North Carolina. I know it’s been cold everywhere, but I am here. We got snow yesterday and even though it did not get anywhere close to above freezing today it mainly melted except in the shady spaces on the north sides. That means right in front of our driveway and all along our whole driveway is still snow covered and will be until spring actually comes.

I feel like there have been ten days since the inauguration. I am still not watching the news and trying not to read any national news, but could not miss the fabulous Bishop Budde prayer service sermon. I must have watched it two dozen times. What a powerhouse inside that tiny quiet woman!

My favorite part is watching 47 sit slumped in his seat looking like he is doing his business. The man can no longer stand or sit up straight. He looked the same way at Carter’s funeral. Someone needs to make him a back brace. But I guess that only works if you have a working spine.

I really wonder what the immigrant and first generation wives thought of Bishop Budde’s take on how immigrants should be treated. Do their husbands not see who they are married too?

I am now praying that the next four years do not move this slowly. I am doing my best to be so busy that I can keep my mind off what I can not handle or change.

Thank Goodness I Grew Up with Snow

I was searching through my photos for a picture of our house in Wilton from about 1967. It was before Janet was born. We still had the many garages on the down stairs part of our house, before my parents converted them to a down stairs kitchen and playroom and bathroom. I think photo was black and white, so go figure how old that was.

The photo showed that it had snowed so much and obviously blown so much that the snow had completely covered the garage doors and the top of the drift was at the bottom of the windows on the second floor. Margaret and I climbed up the drift and were looking in the second floor windows.

A subsequent photo showed the tunnel my Dad shoveled from one garage door to another. We opened the garage doors from the inside and walked out one garage door in the tunnel and back in a different garage door. It was a fun game, especially since our garages were heated. It was exciting. It was also just snow. So it wasn’t dangerous, like ice.

Growing up with all that snow, regularly, we learned how to drive in snow. Cars were big and heavy, but we didn’t have four wheel drive. We learned that snow gave you traction and as long as you went at a steady, not too fast a pace you could drive no problem.

Fast forward to today. I was teaching Mah Jongg in Cary when the snow started coming down. Since it has been so cold the snow was sticking as it fell. The good news about that it it was not melting and refreezing so it remained snow. Snow equals traction.

Not everyone in North Carolina knows how to, or likes to drive in snow. So there is a predictable amount of freaking out about snow. To make sure my students were going to survive the snow we ended class an hour early, planning on making up the time in subsequent classes.

I got on the road to get home. Driving was fine. I went fairly slowly, just so I could stop if need be at lights. I got on the highway and there were plenty of cars, but most were doing the right thing. The snow was coming down fast.

By the time I got to my exit we had about and inch of snow. It was so beautiful, but there were people who followed too closely or tried to break too quickly. I watched as one man slid into the middle of an intersection he was trying to stop at because he waited until the last minute to break. Thankfully no one was coming the other way.

I got to my neighborhood and it was obvious no one had driven on the road at all. I had the pristine virgin snow all to myself with the snow still falling. With no other cars to worry about sliding into me I inched along savoring the snowfall. I was back in my childhood when snow meant fun.

I am so glad I don’t have a history of fearing snow. Now I just fear people who don’t know how to handle it. If that is you, stay home. Learning to drive in snow is something that should be done young.

Just Not Today

No TV for me today. At least not broadcast. I went to church this morning to join a huge crowd of like minded people to do some good works in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr.

I decided I was best suited to make valentines for people in a nursing home that my friend Elsa visits regularly. She said they needed 82 valentines. As I sat around a table with small children and grand mothers and some in betweens. I calculated that if I made 20 and the other ten people made some we would have no trouble getting to 82.

I work on production speed at all times. I cranked out those 20 in less than an hour. I laughed as a grandfather who joined his granddaughter finished one and he wrote two words and one initial on it. At least his granddaughter attached a boat load of hearts on the card. I’m certain the receiver will understand the sentiment behind “Happy V Day.” I think this grandfather was feeling the seriousness of the day.

After that little volunteer opportunity I went to lunch with friends. Michelle had offered this lunch to me and Lynn as the Christmas gift for our party. What a thoughtful gift it was. Our friend Elizabeth joined us and we had a merry ‘ole time and not a word was spoken about anything else that was going on today.

This was all I could manage today. It’s back to teaching tomorrow. With two classes each day the rest of the week I should be able to hide out in my own little world. Eventually reality will seep its way in. Just not today, not today.

What’s Tomorrow? Martin Luther King Jr. Day

My dear friend Nancy brought this quote to my attention today. Another friend of her’s had included it in her Holiday message. It was written by Howard Zinn, a playwright, professor of history and political science at Spellman College and Boston University. He passed away on 2010.

This quote seems to be one of his most famous, first published in 2004, but quoted many, many times since. I am not exactly sure what was happening at that moment that inspired him to put these words down, but they are true today.

“To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize…will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys are capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.” – Howard Zinn

I may not be looking forward to tomorrow, but I am always hopeful that human kind can strive to be better, do better and be kinder. There have been many low points in history, which are followed by sunnier days. My hope is that we don’t let dark days last as long as the dark ages, that damages are never permanent and that we all strive to treat all humans as we would like to be treated. Do not be afraid to speak truth to power.

For me tomorrow is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. That is all it is. A day to honor the life of a truth teller, looking for us all to not stand idly by and watch bad things happen, but to speak up.

The Perception of Time

You know that your perception of time is not always equal. When I was a kid waiting for Christmas to come made each day in December feel like an eternity. And thus the phrase, “Slow as Christmas,” was born. Then as an adult, Christmas comes fast as can be because there is always more to do to get ready. Then it comes and it is gone before we knew it.

Now in the doldrums of January, as an adult, things could not be slower. Sure there are things to look forward to, like summer in Maine, eight months away. And some things I am not looking forward too sooner than that, but time has slowed to almost a standstill.

We thought it was going to rain today. So Russ and I decided to stay in all day. The rain never seemed to come. Maybe it did and I didn’t notice as I was inside, wiling away the hours. When I still had not gotten dressed by eleven in the morning Russ suggested I could spend the whole day in my flannel nightgown. As it was his idea, I felt no guilt and that is what I did.

Everything I was doing or not doing could be done in my night gown. It was a very slow day. I had taken all the Christmas down before January 4th, except for the actual tree. It stood bare in the gathering room all this month awaiting help to move it. Since a friend volunteered her husband to help tomorrow Russ and I wrapped it all up, ready to move.

For a minute today I thought I must have had this naked tree up for over two months. Then I looked at the date and realized we are just a bit past halfway for the month. So slow, so slow. Each day is like the others.

It’s dark now, I’m still in my nightgown. I thought it must be time for bed. I looked at my watch, only 7:30. So slow, so slow.

I never knew that getting dressed made the day go faster. Perhaps that is not it. But January, this dreaded January is so long, so long.

I never want to wish time away as it is so precious, but I like it better when I have hope for all good things, not dread. Dread makes it even slower.

New Mah Jongg Card Coming

For all the Mah Jongg Enthusiasts you know that April 1 is the start of our new year. My gentile friends call it Mah Jongg Christmas. We mean it as no slight to our Jewish sisters. It just denotes the day we get our new big present, the new card.

Like all of you I don’t see the new card until April 1, or March 30 if the postman is nice to me. Once I get it I get right to work analyzing, playing, and writing the power point for my NEW CARD ORIENTATION CLASS.

The first week of April is my favorite week of the year. There is nothing I like more than analyzing! My husband often comes in the room where I am huddled over my iPad, playing Real Mah Jongg and asks, “Are still playing Mah Jongg?”

I quickly and loudly remind him, “I am WORKING.”

He knows that I take creating the PowerPoint to help people grasp the new card quickly very seriously. Last year the PowerPoint was 81 slides long. (There was a lot to talk about.)

Sadly editing of the card is not always perfect and reading it and understanding it can be complicated. I try and make everything clear for my students. I also create decision trees to help players be able to make smart decisions so they can win more.

Right now I have New Card Classes scheduled around North Carolina and a Zoom Class for my out of state and country students.

If you are interested in registering for one of my 3 hour new card classes please DM me or text me and I will give you the info on how to get in the class you want. It is a lecture class, no playing takes place. Therefore the seating is theatre style allowing for many more people in each class, but some classes do sell out.

You must pay in advance to secure a seat, but it will be a fun three hours and each year more and more players come to these classes as everyone wants to be able to beat their friends.

Here are the locations and times for the classes that are scheduled already:

Durham. April 8 6PM

Raleigh April 9 9 AM, 1 PM, 6 PM

Raleigh April 10 6 PM

Atlantic Beach April 11 3 PM

Zoom April 14 2 PM (will be taped)

Kinston April 16 9 AM

Rocky Mount April 17 afternoon

Smithfield April 22 6PM

I will also be at High Hampton in Cashiers April 25-27 teaching a beyond Beginner class that will start with the new card class. I will also be teaching beginner Mah Jongg that same weekend and April is the perfect time to learn.

Remember to order your new card now from the National Mah Jongg league. The sooner you order it the more likely you are to receive it by April 1. There are no guarantees when it comes to card deliveries.

If you would like me to come and give the new card class in your town DM or text me.

Nothing But Fun

My friend Hannah gave me this puzzle this Christmas. There is nothing I like more to have going during the holiday than a puzzle. I have no guilt watching Christmas movie and working a puzzle. This was a really fun one as I have lived in London a total of seven years in my life and know the city fairly well.

It was very helpful to already have a good working g knowledge of where things were, especially roads, tube stations and railway stations so when I was looking to place a piece I could generally start looking in the right place. That being said there were lots of tiny things in the puzzle which were very hard to place because the finished example of the puzzle was so tiny.

Nonetheless it was a fun puzzle to work. It also got me back in the kick of working on puzzles. I did so many during the pandemic because I had no guilt. Now I do feel like there are other things I SHOULD be doing. But why when I could be doing a puzzle.

I might go ahead and get another one out and start sorting pieces. There is no deadline to finish it. If I don’t do something important in place of working a puzzle who will know? It’s nothing but fun!

No Saints for Me

I am married to the most curious man on earth. The internet, Chat GPT, Siri, they were all made for him. If he wonders about anything he looks it up. We call out iPhones the answer machines.

Sometimes what he wonders about is completely nonsensical. When I got home from teaching tonight he was curious if there was a patron saint of games? Since we are not Catholic it was the first time I have ever heard him wonder about a patron saint Of any kind.

Once he asked the question out loud, I wanted to know the answer. Siri came back and said that the patron saint of athletes was saint Sebastian, and therefore he covered sporting games.

I immediately said that athletes are not the same as the games I played. There is nothing athletic about me. So Russ asked if there was a patron saint of gamblers. That seemed like the right direction.

Alas, there was patron saint of gamblers according to Chat GPT. What? Of all the people who need a saint, it’s gamblers.

So now I want to know how one goes about requesting a saint cover your area of interest? I would be happy to teach a bunch of nuns how to play mah Jongg and see if one of them would take us on.

Perhaps it’s time for Jews to start being saints for particularly Jewish things. Mah Jongg and Bagels could be a good place to start.

Certainly there are no Presbyterians who are going to ascribe to the whole saint thing. So I can’t offer any help there.

I guess it’s good for my business that there isn’t a saint. No one is going to be able to pray to someone to make them a better player. People are just going to have to take matters into their own hands and take more classes.

What’s in a Name?

Tonight I had my first Mah Jongg class is Siler City, NC. For the record it was a very nice group of people. It was the first time I had ever even been to Siler City. Never even driven through it.

Siler City, was exactly as I excepted. A small NC town with an old downtown and some newer fast food and strip malls on the outskirts closer to the big road.

Siler City sits on the Western Edge of Chatham County, a fast growing county adjacent to the more well known triangle counties of Wake, Durham and Orange. Apparently there are under 10,000 people in Siler City. So my question is when it was named Siler City was it an aspirational naming or did they actually think of themselves as a city?

I grew up in Connecticut and as far as I was concerned the only real city in America was New York City. It was the all caps, definition of a CITY. Other places that were considered cities paled. Perhaps Chicago might be close to a city, but otherwise, no. My childish definition was if you could live easily in they city without ever learning how to drive a car, and if you could easily get a meal of any cuisine any hour of the day or night and if the buildings were so high that sometimes you could not see the top floors from the sidewalk, that was a city.

So how does Siler City fit in this picture? In a North Carolina there are 8 towns with city in their name. Besides Siler City, there is Cove City, Elm City, Forest City, Oak City, Surf City, Tabor City. Some of these I have never heard of. I have driven through Tabor City many times on the way to Pawleys Island and it is clearly misnamed. There is also Elizabeth City, which is probably the biggest of all these “cities, with a whopping 18,948 people. Hardly a big town in my book.

I feel like if you have a tree name followed by city it is just an oxymoron and how anything concerning the Surf could be mixed up with a city is just plain wrong. I hold no malice to these “cities,” but in the words of someone who might be from one of them, “A city we ain’t.”

New York City makes sense to differentiate it from the state of the same name. If we had a North Carolina City then maybe it could qualify for the city name.

I am not sure having a name that is too big for your britches has done any of these places any good, but it is probably too late to do anything about it. Just know that other places are snickering just a little when you call yourself a city and you don’t have one good Jewish deli.

Being a city is not the goal. Being a place full of nice people is way more important and I bet that all these “cities” have that, because they are North Carolinians. I think I need to make it my goal to visit every “city” in North Carolina, and since I have already been to Charlotte, Asheville, Winston Salem, Greensboro, Durham, Raleigh, Fayetteville it’s Time for Oak City. I’m not sure where you are, but I’ll drive through and get a biscuit. Because the one thing I can guess is you don’t have any knishes, but I bet you make a good biscuit.

Poor Shay Shay

Shay is starting to treat her vet’s as a place she has a weekly subscription for. It started between Christmas and New years when she had a split nail that required a little surgical removal.

Then there was the follow up for that. Thankfully after five days with a cone and two prescriptions she healed well. But last night she woke Russ up every hour and needed to go out. Thankfully he wakes up when she does this. I do not.

So I called the vet and they had a spot for her, as they do every week. They asked me to catch a urine sample, which was easier to get than I thought it would be using a wide mouth plastic container. When I told her we were going in the car she started shivering. So far every car trip has been to the vets.

Sure enough she has a urinary tract infection. Poor thing. This adds insult to injury jury. At least there were no invasive exams. Back to having two extra pills to take everyday. I hope she heals well and quickly. She can’t stand going back to the vet any time soon and Russ needs a good night’s sleep. Oh the life of an old dog, and I mean Shay.

Be Prepared

If we have learned anything from the last few natural disasters, the floods and fires, none of us are guaranteed to be immune from disasters. None of these people probably ever thought these things could happen to them. Certainly not to the scale that they have.

If you suffer a personal tragedy, your local friends and neighbors often come to help, but what if your whole community is in the same boat? Then the rest of the world needs to help. Hopefully that is what is going to happen for the California fire victims once the fires are out and the totality is added up.

The one thing I came across today is a check list of things we should have in the cloud in case we ever need it. I am guilty of not having these items in one place I could easily get my hands on if I had to evacuate. I did watch a fire victim having it her fire safe cracked open and the papers were unreadable. It seems that if it were all in the cloud one would be able to access it from anywhere.

I write this knowing that it will take me a while to gather all this information, and even longer to upload it, but I know it it’s important to do. So I share it with you. Sorry it is not in a more user friendly format. I screen shot the information as I didn’t want it to get lost and at least the photo of it is now in the cloud for me.

To all my LA friends. I hope you are still safe. I know there is a long road ahead. Please know we are praying for you and your community.

Make Sure Your NC Vote Does Not Get Thrown Out

Some 2024 elections are still not over. A big one in North Carolina for a Supreme court seat is still dragging out. Incumbent Allison’s Riggs, the Democrat, beat the Republican candidate Jefferson Griffin by 734 votes. He contested. There was a recount. She still won. Then another and she still won.

The Republican controlled NC Supreme Court and Republican control legislature keep giving Griffin more and more bites at the apple. Now he is challenging the validity of over 60,000 votes cast in NC allegedly without any actually evidence. Just a big fishing trip.

There is a website to check to see if your vote is one that is being challenged. Don’t let your vote get thrown out. Go and check to see if your legal vote is trying to be thrown out.

https://terrymah.github.io/challenge/

Voter suppression after the fact needs evidence to prove it was illegal. There was voter fraud in NC years ago when a man went around collecting ballots and filled them in for people. That is not the case here. At least, no one has brought that forward. For the record that guy who did that was doing it for republicans.

Please check this web site and keep democracy real. Not some made up witch hunt.

No Need to Freak Out

It’s been almost exactly two years since we had snow here in Durham, NC. I had to look through my photos to figure that out. Thankfully I photograph the most mundane things.

Two years and it was barely a dusting then. Now it is snowing and it came exactly when they said it would. I was on the phone with my friend Jan, who lives a couple of miles south of me. While we were talking she said it had started there. Sure enough about five minutes later it started here. It was after four in the afternoon.

They canceled school in our town today because of this tiny snow that started after school would have gotten out. The fear of snow is so paralyzing to southerners. It is quite ridiculous.

I drove by the grocery store after having lunch with Lynn and Christy and saw that the parking lot was more full that the day before Thanksgiving. Christy said she went to the store yesterday at 7:45 in the morning, before the big rush of milk and bread buyers. She had one of her favorite cashiers and Christy asked her if people were kind to her during these pre-snow shopping panics. The cashier said, “no.” Christy thanked her for working and being kind every time Christy shops. Christy is one of the always kind ones who all cashiers love.

I waited a little too long to try and get a picture of the snow, but the sun had already gone down. You can’t really see the tiny flakes we are getting. I am thankful they are flakes and not ice. I hope that it stays cold all night so it just keeps snowing and doesn’t turn to something worse.

We can’t complain about snow when LA is burning. If only they could get precipitation and no wind.

So to all my southern readers, I hope you are snuggled up in a warm home with plenty of bread and milk, whether you eat those things or not. And to the rest of the world who wonders why real southerners freak out over a dusting of snow, I have no answer for that. The one thing I wish is that southerners would not lose their humanity when it snows. Please treat all the people who continue working through the weather well. Be a Christy.

Back in the Swing

I just got home from my final class of the week. I taught a fabulous group of ladies Beginner in Raleigh at North Ridge Country club in the morning this week followed by an equally fabulous group of ladies Beyond Beginner in Burlington in the evenings. It made for very long days with lots of driving.

I got to spend a few hours at home in between classes. Today when I got home from Raleigh Shay herded me into the sun room where I promptly fell asleep on the sofa snuggled up with her with. A little nap was nice.

Despite the three hours of driving I was totally energized to be back to sharing the love of Mah Jongg with nice people. I consider myself the luckiest person ever to have this be my job.

I wish everyone had work which they are passionate about. I am often asked if I get bored teaching the same thing over and over again. I can honestly say never. The way I teach is constantly evolving. I am much better at it now than I was 25 years ago.

Figuring out how different people learn and how to best communicate to different learners is the fun. I know I am lucky because I don’t have any homework to grade, tests to give, parents of students to deal with or standardized tests to teach to. This is teaching just for fun and the love of the game. What a great life.

Is it Broken or Just Too Cold Outside?

I am a hair moron. That means I can not use hair styling tools and a hair brush at the same time or in some cases one at a time. When curling irons were first invented I must have burned my forehead a half dozen times. I learned my lesson…I can’t use a curling iron.

Due to those scaring adventures, I mean scalp scaring, I never tried a flat iron. But really, when your hair is already flat and lifeless there was no point in that. Probably saved myself some second degree burns.

Finally in my third score and three years, I have mastered a blow dryer, but not necessarily with a hairbrush at the same time. I basically turn my head upside down and run the hot air over my wet hair until I feel light headed.

In the last few very cold days I feel like my blow dryer is not putting out the same heat as it once was. It blows at the same velocity, (oh, isn’t that a sentence all our husbands would love to hear?), but I am just not getting that hot feeling. It’s just warm, but is warm.

What I can’t tell is if a heating element is partially out or is it so cold that my hair dryer is having too much cold to over come?

Sadly cheep hairdryers are not like new cars. There are no dashboard lights to tell me one of the three heat coils has died like the car tells me the individual PSI in each tire.

When it is so cold out I really want the full Monty of heat. (Another thing the husbands would like to hear.) I hate the idea of shelling out $29.99 for another cheep hair dryer just to discover it is only as hot as my current cheep hair dryer.

Not that any of this really matters. As a hair moron, my hair is only as good as the operator. I know I’m not going to make my hair look better. I just want to be hotter. Not going to happen, no matter how you take that sentence.

A Man of Generous Heart

I had a few hours break at home today between my morning class in Raleigh and my night class in Burlington. I’ve said it before, this morning and night schedule is not my favorite, but at least I got to be home in between. I was having my late lunch/early dinner, as there is no good time to eat with this schedule and the TV was on.

A special news report interrupted whatever I was not watching so I paid attention. It was the coverage of Jimmy Carter’s arrival on air force one to Washington. The news was showing the casket and his family coming to bring him to the capitol for his funeral. As the coverage was a lot of watching a hearse drive down a road David Muir was talking with different people who knew Carter or and interviewed him as a color commentary to fill boring video.

One person who was riding in the motorcade with the family was one of Jimmy Carter’s spiritual leaders. I didn’t catch his name, but what he said really struck me.

It was clear he had known the president well and for a long time and they had a profound relationship with each other. This man said every time he went to Plains to see the President, right up until the end, Carter would ask him the same four questions.

“Where have you been?”

“What have you done?”

“Who did you help?”

“How can I help you help them?”

I burst into tears because it was a lesson on servant leadership that was so simple.

Carter was diagnosed with Cancer and given two weeks to live, three years before he actually died. His friend said that even during those last three years the questions and the heartfelt offers of help never changed.

We lost this kind of leader. Please remember this the next time you have to vote for someone to be a leader. We need people who know it is not about them, but about how they can help, and do it with a generous heart.

God Bless Jimmy Carter.

Female Dog Day

I had a mess of day. This was my get back to real life day with many tasks to complete before resuming classes tomorrow. I scheduled myself with a terrible set up his week. Morning classes in Raleigh and Night classes in Burlington so I needed to be ready.

I had to mail packages to Carter. I dropped a big box on my toe and it hurt like a female dog. (I can say this as Shay had a hurt foot all last week.) Once I got my boxes in the UPS store I had an unpleasant time. The young man working there was not my favorite human as he made me stand awkwardly holding a fifty pound box because he wanted to weigh the 2 lb box first. I asked if we could do the heavy one first as there was no way to perch it and he said no. (Again a female dog.)

I went to fill my car with gas and after I had gotten half way home I got. Notice that an air tag I had was no longer with me and was “left behind.” Turns out I had dropped it at the gas station. Thankfully I drove back and found it.

I had some issues scheduling classes that hopefully will get resolved, but it caused me a lot of work today. (If they don’t, they will be a real female dog.)

I had to bake cookie for a funeral and I took a picture of them in the freezer at church to show the he’d of the committee. I did not look at the photo as I took it, but here it is.

After all these annoying things went wrong I suddenly realized it is January 6. I should have realized earlier. January 6 will always be one of the worst days in American History as far as I am concerned. Thankfully I saw Kamala on the news doing her constitutional duty in a grown up way. (Definitely a female dog day for her.)

I hope January 7 is better.

January, Time to Get Real Shit Done

The whole last six weeks from Thanksgiving to New Years and those carry over days after New Years until the first Monday of the year are my “take time off to do nothing but celebrate” weeks of the year. I don’t worry about doing anything that is not about a holiday, or family or friends. This means a few little jobs get by me, like my shoes have started a union in my closet and refuse to stay with their mate, except for those on the picket line outside my closet, who refuse to be put away at all.

Tonight is the end of all that lollygaging around. I did spend the day cooking for my friend Holley’s family, which felt restorative to me and productive. If only cooking could fix Holley. But since I am helpless to fix anyone, the least I can do is feed people.

I am one of those annoying AP’s. We are multi-taskers who the phrase, “If you want something done ask a busy person,” was actually created for. We tend to prioritize our tasks in order of importance. I was not always like this, but over the years I learned life is better if I do the important stuff first, just in case I run out of time. Thus cleaning out the attic has perceptually been on my list for the last say 29 years. Something else is always more important and as the years go on without it being done I have proven the point.

Tomorrow it’s time to get back to being actually productive. I’ve decided there are basically three types of people. The Truly Lazy (TL), the Actually Productive (AP) and the worst kind of all, those who are so busy doing all the wrong things that they say they can’t possibly get to the things they should be doing (Delusional). I will refer to these groups, by their parenthetical nicknames.

I don’t mind the TL’s. If you can get away with doing nothing, and like doing nothing then own it. These people don’t pretend to be something they are not. Good for them. That life would drive me crazy because I like to have tangible results.

Being an AP does not mean I get everything done, but if I say I am going to do something for you, I will. I will let my own shit slide to do something for someone else. And thus the attic.

The Delusionals are my least favorite group. We all have worked with some of these in our adult lives. These are people who are the ones who say they are the busiest. Appearing to be busy is their goal. When you call and ask how they are, “Busy” with a capital B is always the answer. The problem is what they are busy with is not always the most important thing. And just because they are busy they think they productive.

You are not productive if you let important things slide by because you felt like you had to reorganize you filing cabinet before filing your taxes. One thing doesn’t matter to anyone else and the other could send you to jail for not doing. Yeah, I know it will take years to go to jail for not filing your taxes, but the IRS will eventually get you.

The problem is the Delusionals are also the group who have a lot of anxiety about to do lists, but it is all about the number of tasks, rather than the importance. If I were to write down everything I needed to do in January it might stress me out, but if I only write down the most important, then do them, I won’t be stressed out about negotiating a new union contract with my shoes. My shoes are not important. But they are to the Delusionals.

So if you want to get stuff done this month, and isn’t that what January is all about? Resolutions, starting fresh, clean slate and the likes, then start with coming to grips with your personality type, are to a TL, AP or Delusional. If you don’t like that you might be a Delusional,

In the Dark Mid-Winter…

The sparkle is practically gone from the house. I still have one small tree to put away, but since it was new this year I need a new hinged container for all the painted balls on. All the other decorations are put away safely in the attic. The big tree in the gathering room is still up because I need to get some man power to help us move it down stairs.

After all the packing up was done I dusted, scrubbed, washed, vacuumed and swept every room. With the bleak, darkness coming so early the only consolation is that everything is clean. Clean, but boring.

I don’t care to decorate my house for any other holidays. But I really miss the sparkle of Christmas, especially in January. I know I could keep Christmas up, but really these first few days of January are the only free time to put it all away.

After having six different parties at my house in December, at this moment I have no parties planned for the rest of the year. My house feels so naked without the Christmas that I can’t think about having a party.

I guess I will just throw myself back into teach Mah Jongg as I have so many classes scheduled starting Tuesday. So good bye Christmas, Hello Charleston. If you know, you know.

Shay’s Back to 100%

Last week Shay had an emergency toe nail removal. Sounds painful, but I think it was pain relieving compared to the pain of keeping that injured nail. She came home with bandages, medications and a cone she had to wear.

Little baby was a trooper. She didn’t complain about the cone, and when we took it off she did not bite at her wound. She took her medicine, with just a little complaint. Mostly she was the best.

Today she went for her check up. She knew we were going to the vet. She would not get in the car. It took ten minutes of chasing her around the driveway before she finally gave in and let me pick her up. With all the running and hopping she was doing playing keep away from me I knew she was fine.

She got a clean bill of health from the vet and even the two other issues she has have gone away this week. Who knew that a split nail could be so bad.

Dog are such important family members. Even dogs we only know peripherally. Today we got word that Ripken the Durham Bulls bat dog had passed away. We loved Ripken and are so sad for his owners. He brought great joy to us at so many baseball games.

Love your dogs. Their time with us is much too short.

My Least Favorite Day of the Year

Russ had to go back to work today. Last night he brought all the Christmas boxes out of the attic so I was set up to start the de-Christmasing. I did not jump right out of bed. Taking Christmas down is my least favorite thing to do.

Shay and I lazed around playing games and watching TV for too long. I was procrastinating in the worst away. I eventually started taking the needlepoint down, then the garlands. I undid all the Living room decorations, but did not clean the room or replace the non-holiday decorations that have to be put away during Christmas.

In between all these jobs I would stop and look at my phone, or play a round of mah Jongg and then get back to work. I undecorated about a third of the tree. Shay kept asking for attention so I gave it to her. Happy for the interruption. Finally at seven I threw in the towel for the day. I barley made a dent.

I promised myself I would do better tomorrow. I hate spreading this job out.

2025 Off To a Good Start

Last night we enjoyed a fabulous party at Carter’s future in-laws, the Dickson’s beautiful house in Darien. Their best friends came to the celebration. Carter had invited them in September when they were all in Germany together. To celebrate Carter and Clair’s engagement they came dressed as lobsters! Needless to say it was a very fun party!

The Dickson’s put on quite the spread and now I am addicted to a smoked Marlin Spread that comes from a small store named Fjord. Russ had a great time getting to know Duane better and I enjoyed talking with all the girls.

Russ and I did not make it until Midnight, but the party went on happily without us. It was a very celebratory day indeed. Claire and Carter are the happiest.

Russ and I met our dearest friends Steve and Suzanne in Westport for Breakfast at Terrain. As Carter’s godmother Suzanne wanted to hear every detail. Since we were each other’s maids of honor we like nothing more than discussing weddings.

It was a great trip to Connecticut. We figure it is not our last. We have a wonderful new family in the making. This makes starting 2025 very happy.

Two Girls, Means Two Rings and Two Proposals

Earlier in the month Claire proposed to Carter. So Carter had her moment and got her ring, but what about Claire? Carter has been planning on proposing to Claire on New Year’s Eve for months, but it was a surprise. It was important to Claire that her family was near by. So Carter coordinated with Claire’s parents, brothers and sister-in-laws since everyone was going to be together for New Years. The surprise was that Russ and I would be here too.

With a large What’s app Group text going of everyone, except Claire, there was lots of discussion about the location and logistics. Cameras were charged and champagne was chilled. Russ and I flew up to Connecticut yesterday. We hid out in Stamford and sent decoy texts to Claire and Carter making look like we were home with Shay. My blog yesterday was about my bed at home so there were be no digital foot print of us being in Connecticut.

We tracked Carter and her location on our phones so we made sure not to run into them. The plan almost got pushed back by Claire’s trip to Old Navy. Russ and I met up with Alex and Lilla, and baby Hadley (Claire’s next up brother’s family), at the Weed Beach Parking lot and we walked to the snack shack where we were going to be hiding. The rest of the family joined us. Barb, Claire’s mother held her grandson Hadley to quite his sweet coo’s as we hid. Claire’s Dad, Duane, was across the water with a paparazzi sized lens on his camera shooting the whole proposal from afar.

Carter proposed to Claire on the dock and we all peered out from behind the snack shack. After Claire said yes, she said we could come out. Having seen the iPhone’s around the corner. Russ and I came out with the rest of her family and she was surprised that we were there. She might have suspected the proposal at the time, but she was not suspecting us.

There were hugs and champagne, tears, a toast and more photos. It was a glorious time. Carter and Claire are so loved and it was so wonderful for me to get to meet Robert and Andrea, Claire’s oldest brother and wife who got married in Germany in September and Lilla and Alex and Hadley, and see Barb and Duane again. These people who love Claire have welcomed Carter into their family and that means everything to us.

Tonight the celebration will continue at Barb and Duane’s House with a party. As far as I am concerned this is the best thing to happen in 2024. I am looking forward to the future for these sweet girls who are surrounded by so much love.

The Best Christmas Presents I Bought Myself

This year we did white elephant for our extended family gifts. My sisters and I decided we would buy all the gifts and divided up the responsibilities. Then there were negotiations about they number and value so I ended up buying extra gifts. We had big and little gift categories

Since we had a mix of people I tried to get gifts that were unisex. I was searching for large gift choices at Costco one day and came upon a king sized down duvet I thought was nice and down pillows. So I bought two pillows that would be one gift and the duvet as another.

When the opening came Carter opened the duvet and made some rumblings that she would be up for being stolen from. Russ stole the duvet from her, which was a kind sacrifice since he would be happy sleeping under a burlap sack.

Then when it came my turn to open in the third round and no one had opened the pillows I picked them, just so they could get into the stealing. No one wanted them and I ended up keeping them.

The day after Christmas I changed the sheets and decided I wanted to wash some of the pillows on our bed. Russ made up the bed with the new pillows and the duvet. I put one of my handmade quilts on top since I did not have a duvet cover yet.

That night I had the best nights sleep I have ever had in my own bed. I thought maybe in was an aberration. Until the next night. The combination of that duvet and pillows with my temperpedic pillow was heaven.

I am so thankful we got to keep the gifts I bought. I feel guilty that no one else stole these gifts now that I know they are so great. If anyone in the family asks about them I will get these things again for next year’s exchange. If not I won’t because I can’t use more, but boy are they great.

D CARTR

In college I had a yellow VW Scirocco with the Connecticut license plate D CARTR. Since my name was Dana Carter my father thought it was a good plate to get me. A bight yellow car parked on the street of Carlisle, Pennsylvania stood out. One day an upper class man, a short little weasley guy who was also from Connecticut asked me if my license plate stood for Dump Carter as he was the fairly unpopular president at the time.

My Carter family is no relation to Jimmy Carter’s family. In college having the same name as President Carter was not necessarily a positive. Interest rates were sky high, the economy was doing poorly, Iran had taken American’s Hostage. I didn’t really want to be associated with Carter. He lost his bid for reelection in 1980 and went back to plains and I kind of got my name back.

Then he started to do great work, both at home and abroad. As the years went by he was improving his legacy, overcoming an unsuccessful presidency. Eventually he built so many Houses for Habitat and oversaw fair elections around the world and taught people what being a good person acted like, that he reached beloved status. Then having the name Carter was a positive.

He made it to 100 years old, the oldest President ever. And now he has left us and does not have to witness what is coming next. I wish that they could hold his funeral until January 20 so we could chose to watch his funeral rather than anything else that happens that day.

Rest in Peace Jimmy Carter. You lived a good life which we all could learn from.

Final Party of the Season

Tonight was our cousin Christmas dinner. It was at our house this year and is my final party I have to cook for. I made a big vegetable lasagna last week in preparation and was thankful I did that in advance so I only had to make Chicken Piccata and a big salad tonight.

Last night we discovered that Shay had a hurt toe nail. First thing this morning we called the vet and texted a photo. The word came back that she needed to go in to see the Doctor. She had split the nail all the way down to the quick, which was starting to get infected and it had to be removed. Russ and Carter had to leave her there while they did the procedure. What came home was a very drugged up baby, with a cone and a wrapped foot, which Russ called her flat tire.

Since she was so out of it we also put her in a diaper. Oh the indignity of the whole thing. She has been slow moving, non-eating and drinking little bit of a thing all day and night. Even when my cousins came she just kind of hung back, not her normal welcoming self.

In spite of Shay’s situation we had a fabulous party with my Mom, Aunt Janie, Cousin Leigh and her husband Peter and girls, Eva and Emerson, Cousin Sarah, her husband Mark and their kids, Sam and Jane.

Everyone is of the age that they are interesting and are doing exciting things. When it came time for dinner we all fit around the dining room table. The highlight of the dinner was the dessert auction. Aunt Janie had brought individual tarts of three types, fruit, lemon and chocolate. So I offered them one at a time and it worked out perfectly that everyone got the kind they wanted. The fun part was every time I said, “Who wants a fruit one?” And someone would raise their hand, everyone clapped as if the hand-raiser had won the tart.

We all agreed that having this cousin’s dinner after Christmas is perfect because everyone is home and it is after all other events are over so it is less stressful. I just love my cousins and am glad Carter loves them too.

Tonight I think Shay will sleep through the night as she appears to still be drugged up. I hope tomorrow she feels a little better.

Carter’s Childhood Friends

My favorite thing about Christmas time is getting to see Carter’s childhood friends. Nothing is better than seeing grown adults who are happy and successful that I have watched grow up.

Today three of the original four of Carter’s school carpool were together at our house, Ellis, Kate and Carter. The only missing member was Mason, who also happens to be Kate’s long time boyfriend. He had to work this week, but was missed.

When these kids started in Pre-K we had a car pool that was managed by Kate’s Mom, Anne, because she worked full time and made sure the schedule was done a month in advance. I loved driving that car pool. The kids treated the drivers as if we were invisible so I learned everything that was going on in school as they talked to each other in the back seats.

The girls also were in Daisy’s and Brownies, swam swim team and we all went to Mother-Daughter Camp together at Seafarer. This car pool lasted all the way through lower school and into middle school. Once sports started in got complicated, but the girls went to DA from Pre-K to graduation. Mason left them to go to boarding school.

While the girls were visiting today I pulled out a photo from 18 years ago when were were at Mother Daughter Camp and the girls recreated the pose, although Ellis said she could not open her mouth that big! They all benefited greatly by orthodontics.

What wonderful women they are now!

Boxing Day- Day Off

Happy Boxing Day. If you are a servant you should have been given your Christmas box of food and a bonus and the day off from work to celebrate Christmas. So I took the day off and was as lazy as possible today, although I am technically only a servant to myself. So no box of food or money, but also no work.

Thanks to 2 advil PM I slept until the unknown hour of 10:30. Then I hurkle durkled around in bed playing games for another hour. Imagine, Half the day gone! Shay was with me the whole time so I felt no guilt as clearly she needed me for snuggling.

Eventually I got dressed and appeared human, which I was not. I moved from games in my bed to the puzzle in the gathering room. I have been making consistent progress on this London puzzle Hannah gave me and it helps that I know London so well because the font sizes used on the puzzle are so small.

The highlight of the day was a visit from my bonus daughter Ashley! She and Carter went to get their nails done and came back for a good visit. Sadly Ashley could not go out to dinner with us. Russ convinced Carter that she needed to try the best Chinese restaurant in Cary. So we made the trek there and Carter said it was worth the drive.

Back at home Carter and I watched some TV and now less than 12 hours since I woke up I am back in bed. The perfect definition of Boxing Day, doing nothing, well virtually nothing.

Happy Boxing Day to one and all.

Wiped Out by Christmas Night

The whole month of December has been dedicated to this day. The decorating, throwing holiday parties, the presents, the wrapping, the cooking, the friends and family and the celebrating all for a child who was born to save us. Well, now I’m wiped out.

It all went well. All the planning paid off. Santa came and was merry. We had a most lovely Christmas with FaceTime with Claire and her sweet family. Then my mother was delivered with my most elf like sister Janet. We had white elephant present stealing games which was kicked off by Janet opening a car vacuum she was most excited about. And my mother mumbled out loud, “I really want that vacuum.” So of course she stole it from my sister. And even though everyone wanted it, no one dared steal it back from my mother.

And so the whole white elephant went, round after round with my mother getting the best of all the gifts. If she wanted it, she got it. Russ selflessly stole things he thought I wanted. Janet, who brought many of the gifts got the short end of the stick, but did not get any garden pots.

We played round and rounds of Play Nine and Carter ending up winning both games. No prizes were involved, but we could have played it late into the night.

I made a big yummy Christmas dinner ending with Carter’s Sticky toffee pudding, a favorite of our English loving family.

As the sun was setting Janet and mom rode off in Janet’s sleigh, back to Mom’s house. And I was spent. And now Christmas is over and I am going to need to hold on to this Christmas spirit though the next 12 months because I am fearful that the Grinch could make things less joyful. I am going to wish as hard as I can that the spirit will embody all the grinches and that their hearts will grow three sizes by next Christmas.

So for all you Christmas lovers, keep the spirit bright. We have to bring the light into the world everyday, as if it is always Christmas because we can not let the darkness ever diminish the light. I may be exhausted today, but tonight I will sleep so that tomorrow can also be a joyful day.

Christmas Eve, Even Better

For many years we have celebrated our Christmas Eve with our dear friends the Tom’s. It works out perfectly since Lynn doesn’t cook and Logan likes to eat. When I run a menu idea by Lynn it really never matters what the main dish is. Her response is always the same, “I’ll just eat sides.” So I changed it up this year and made these delicious giant ribeye pork chops with a ginger pear and mustard sauce. I knew that Logan and the rest of us would love it.

The Tom’s came for dinner and before we sat down to dinner we had to retell old stories about Carter and Ellis, especially all the “Dear Mrs. Lange,” letters I would get from Ellis apologizing for something, which it turns out she was taking the fall for Carter. What a good friend Ellis is and always has been.

We had to eat dinner fairly quickly because we had church. When everyone raved about the pork Lynn decided she needed to try it. I thought lightening might strike our house because she never eats meat, unless I have hidden it in something.

Logan had to have a third serving, so we were running later than I wanted to get to church on Christmas Eve. We have regular seats at Church and all the every Sunday members know it, but on Christmas Eve you get a lot of visitors who can’t tell my butt indentation in my pew cushion. By some Christmas miracle, the church was practically full, except for our row. I asked our friends behind us if they had shooed people away and they laughed saying it just worked out that way.

I was so thankful to be in my normal seat because we had a soloist, the husband of our new Music Director and his performance was so powerful I burst into tears and could not stop crying. Carter felt the same way and taped a short segment, which hardly did it justice.

So many friends were at Church tonight and they all were congratulating Carter on her engagement. The most fun part were her childhood friends who are all now the nicest adults.

After church we returned home with the Tom’s for dessert and more stories. It was more fun and more joyous than even our best years. Ellis has just finished graduate school and is starting her new job in January, Carter got a promotion last month and got engaged. Everyone is happy which makes me so happy. And Lynn ate a little meat and liked it. Merry Christmas Everyone.

Packing It In and Loving It

In any normal year I would never go out in public on this day or tomorrow because all the crazy people who save their Holiday shopping for the last minute are out. Somehow I broke my normal trend.

I had a private Mah Jongg class for a family in Raleigh today. They wanted to learn as much as possible in four hours so I talked lot and fast. They did well.

Getting there and getting home meant I was on the road with the people who are in a panic because they have too much to do and no good plan on how to do it. Eventually I got home relatively unscathed, but not before my friends Ruth E. and her daughter-in-law Kelsey came over to see my needlepoint and play Mah Jongg with me and Carter. Kelsey moved to Boston this year with her husband Snow and has become friends with Carter and Claire so it was great to have them come here. And it is always fun for me to see Ruth E. and Kelsey and play Mah Jongg with them.

No sooner had they left when it was time to get ready to go to the Tom’s house for a cocktail party with old friends and their now grown up children. Carter had a previous dinner plan, but was able to come and see people for an hour. There was lots of congratulations and well wishes on Carter’s engagement.

It was a very fun party, especially seeing all the adult children, but by 8:00 I was done, having been up since 4:45. We were the first to leave and I am proud we made it as long as we did.

I packed in way more than usual for the eve of Christmas Eve, but I had a great day and loved all of it.

The Top Dog is Home

Nothing is better than having Carter home for Christmas. Maybe if Claire came with her it would be better, but they decided that until they are married they will still each go to their own parents. I appreciate this because I know there will be Christmases in my future where she won’t be home.

Russ is particularly happy. Before Carter flew in today I asked him what he wanted for dinner tonight. I suggested Salmon. He said yes, but added that Carter could make her fried lemon pasta. Then I added Broccoli, knowing it was just for me and Carter since Russ does not eat broccoli.

Carter is always a good egg when I give her cooking assignments. Our kitchen was like a restaurant kitchen tonight. I was on the Salmon and Broccoli duty and Russ was Carter’s Sous chef. She instructed him how to make the ricotta topping for the pasta as she was frying the lemons and then making the pasta. Thank goodness we have a six burner stove.

It was a dance of precision, even in our small kitchen. Everyone completed their dishes right at the same moment and we sat down at the table, rather than at the bar. Very civilized.

Russ was so happy to have pasta, something we have not had in a while. Shay was the only one who felt left out and kept annoying Russ to pay more attention to her than to Carter.

Shay is just going to have to readjust. Carter is top dog this week. Plus Carter took on the Christmas sweets cooking assignment. I am so happy to have her home.

People Keep Expecting Food

The problem with the Holiday season is everyone needs to be fed. There are parties to go to and special family meals, like Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but then there is regular lunch. I try to and have some choices in the fridge so people can just have what they want and I am not cooking every meal. This time of year my favorite thing to have on hand is a really good soup with lots of vegetables.

I made a good one two day ago and it was so good I have eaten it everyday and so has Russ. It might not last long enough to be a meal choice during the high holiday days, but I want to memorialize it so I can recreate it. Especially since it was so easy. As I was throwing things in the pot I thought I tipped too much Italian herbs mix it, but it turns out the over seasoning really made it.

1 Butternut squash, peeled, cubed and salted and peppered, roasted in 350° oven for 25 minutes

2 T. Olive oil

2 Big sweet onions diced

4 cloves of garlic minced

6 big carrots, cleaned and chopped into 1/4 inch disks

1 28 oz. Can chopped tomato’s and liquid

1 can light kidney beans

1 can dark Kidney beans

5 spices mango chicken sausages, cut into 1/4 disks

3 quarts Chicken stock

4T. Italian seasoning

1 Big Bunch red kale, de-stemmed and chopped

Parmesan Cheese to sprinkle on top at serving

Roast the butternut squash.

In a stock pot, put olive oil and add onions and cook for two minutes on medium high. Add the garlic and cook another minute. Add carrots and cook until onions are translucent.

Add the tomatoes, cook another 3 minutes.

In a fry pan sauté the sausage until browned. Set aside.

Add the drained beans, butternut squash, Italian seasoning, and stock. Bring to a boil and reduce to simmer. After about 15 minutes add the sausage and cook another 15 minutes.

Add the kale and cook another 3 minutes.

Salt and pepper to taste

Serve with a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese.

I’m Married to Hot Santa

There is a new Kris Kringle in town and he works at Target. This young Hot Kris is now known as Hot Santa. Russ has grown a nice little beard this year and one of his young team mates has likened Russ to the Target Hot Santa. His new work name is Krisruss.

I like this Hot Santa living in my Christmas house. I consider our place something akin to Santa’s work shop and I play all the elves and Mrs. Claus. Santa does not actually make any toys, but he is always checking his list as to who has been naughty and nice.

The only big difference between the Target hot Santa and my Hot Santa is mine does not have a vintage red Bronco, but a tiny white smart convertible. If we were to hook Shay up to the front with her antlers on and Russ had on a red shirt he could totally pass as Hot Santa in his sleigh.

I’m going to have to go rummage through his desk to see which list I am on. I still have two days to make sure I get on the right one.

The Wrapping Secret

I got some big questions about how my presents got wrapped so quickly. Some accused me of wrapping in the summer, which was definitely not the case. I have to leave all my presents unwrapped until close to Christmas so I remember what they are and if I have the right amount for the right people.

My big secret for wrapping started last year when I found these round hat box like Christmas containers at a craft store. Since I don’t have any children to wrap for I can put presents in these boxes with lids. No tape, no bows needed. If someone want to peak inside they can, but at this point I don’t think I have any peepers.

As a child I would snoop and it ruined Christmas. And who hasn’t felt Emma Thompson’s pain in Love Actually when she realizes the gift she found that her awful husband Alan Rickman had was not for her. Snooping never ends well.

So back to my wrapping bonanza. I bought a bunch of these reseusable boxes and they make wrapping fast and green. No paper to throw away and I keep them and use them again next year. I just have to alter the receiver that I would like the box back after they have opened it, unless they want to keep the box and put my present in it next year. This way we can just recycle the boxes back and forth.

The other thing that is great is opening is faster. No scissors needed and no bits of trash to throw away. I’m sure it’s not too late to get some of these boxes, but plan ahead and buy them on sale in October next year. It will save you hours.

Too Ready

All my presents are wrapped. Even the last minute gifts I had to mail do to a change in plans are mailed. The house is decorated, of course. And I even made a vegetable lasagna for a family dinner on the 28 and put it in the freezer today.

I have never been this ready so early. It’s all because I took the month off work. It is a good thing I have classes already scheduled through April, because I am getting a little bored not working. Today I needlepointed and binged watch an old detective show while sitting by the Christmas tree.

Certainly there is something else I should be doing, but I am not racking my brain to think of it. If you need my help now is the time to ask. I might try my hand at baking a loaf of bread or some other intricate task.

All this because I complained about the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas being so short. Now I am ready a week in advance.

The Christmas Collection

When friends ask me where I get my Christmas decorations I give them a long list. Some of my oldest ornaments on my tree are little flat wooden Swedish Ornaments that came from a store in Carlisle, PA, a few doors down from my off campus college house. It technically was a dress store, which had some gifts. I can’t remember the name of the store, which is surprising since I shopped their often, but I know exactly which ornaments came from that store.

I have some decorations I bought at an Amish market I visited when, in college, my friend John Rehor took a few of his to his family’s Pennsylvania farm. I can’t remember exactly where it was, but I remember purchasing these wooden decorations there.

We always buy ornaments on vacation so I have mementos of trips. It’s not always easy since nowadays there are a lot of horrible ornaments that are massed produced.

Sometimes when I come upon a store that has unique things I buy a lot and I am always happy I did because it never fails that those stores with the best things don’t last long.

Many of my decorations I have made mostly as a creative outlet starting when Carter was little and I wasn’t working. It started with my “Happy Birthday Baby Jesus” tree I made because I had all these tiny naked babies from throwing a baby shower for someone and I wanted to repurpose them. For the record, I covered the naked parts in glitter since the plastic babies were too tiny to wrap in swaddling clothes.

Although I make many things I still buy decorations I think are fabulous. This year I was at Home goods, my go to place for unusual decorations, and I saw a whole bunch of small gingerbread houses that I thought were fairly special. Then, as I was considering them I looked up and on the highest shelf I saw a giant ginger bread house, three times as tall as the others. I knew it was the one for me.

This house was on a shelf that I could barely reach the bottom of, while standing on my tippy toes. I looked around the store for help and there was not an elf to be found. Determined to claim this house as my own I carefully started to slide the bottom off the edge. Only then did I realize this thing weighed a good amount. I called out for help and an unsuspecting man peeped his head around the corner. Poor thing, I saw him and in my best teacher voice instructed him to come help me. It took the two of us to get the house off the shelf with completely outstretched arms, holding it over my head, we thankfully lowered it in unison into my cart as if in a well rehearsed synchronized ballet.

When I brought it out this year and put it on the breakfast room table I was very pleased with it. Then last week my friend Kathi brought a set of beautiful sparkly brown and pink bottle brush trees to my Chinese Auction and I got them. They completed the gingerbread house vignette in a way I didn’t know was missing.

I may not always remember exactly when I get or make something, but when it comes to my Christmas decorations I can tell you exactly how each thing came to be.

Friend Christmases

Some days are two party days this time of year and some days are no party days. Today was a two party day. My friend Amy had her Christmas lunch which is always a treat. This year I also got to see her sweet grandson who came to the party. Amy always cooks up a storm and everyone enjoys her fabulous chicken salad. I just love getting a chance to talk with people I don’t see the rest of the year.

Tonight was my second stitching group’s ornament exchange cocktail party. This is my smaller needlepoint group and we not only make ornaments for each other, but we give each other what are the best gifts because we are all women of similar age and interests.

This year I was given an ornament of an LL Bean bag with Owl’s Head stitched on it. Owl’s Head is the town where we stay in Maine. My friend Christy made it and I absolutely love and adore it. Christy is always great at creating the most personal ornament.

Each ornament is made with love and thought for the friend we are making them for. We picked names for next year and I am already thinking about what I can stitch for next year’s recipient.

More than the ornaments, the gifts and the yummy food we all make to share, it is the fellowship and camaraderie of this small group who holds each other tight. It is a tradition I adore and look forward to each Christmas.

Now all the standard friend Christmas parties are over and the next three things will be Christmas Eve with the Tom’s, Christmas Day with my family and then Cousin Christmas dinner on the 28th. Celebrating all month is why I love Christmas best. I may spend lots of time traveling to meet new people all year and teach Mah Jongg, but getting to see my near and dear at Christmas keeps me connected to home.

Share Your Super Power

Last week my wonderful friend and Neighbor Mary Eileen took all my white napkins from our Garden Club Luncheon after it was over. She washed and ironed them and delivered them back to me in 24 hours. This while she was going to Sweden that day.

My 30 year old napkins had never looked so good. Russ washed a group of different napkins I used at my other party. I stacked them up to be ironed, but could tell they didn’t look half as white as the ones Mary Eileen had done.

Some people have super powers and some people are kind, but when someone shares their super power with you, when they hardly have the time to do it, that is a special form of kindness.

Now all I want is for Mary Eileen to give me a laundry lesson. I am happy to cook for her, since that is my super power, but making standard white cotton catering napkins look good is a real talent.

For the coming year I encourage everyone to share their special talent with at least two other people. That way it will never be lost.

Bill’s in the House

Lynn and Logan took us to the UNC basketball game this afternoon. The Heels were playing La Salle, which was, as it should have been, a game they won. But the excitement was not the game they won, but the half time show.

With about four minutes to play in the first half, the announcer came over the loud speaker and asked all the fan to remain in their seats at the start of half time. Logan and I high-fived each other as we had heard rumors of a visitor to the game. Since it was not a full house for the game, being a non-conference affair, they needed every Carolina fan to stay put.

The half ended and the player retreated to the locker rooms. Jones Angell, the Carolina play-by-play radio announcer for both Carolina Basketball and football came out to center court and introduced the new Carolina football coach, Bill Belichick.

Bill walked out from the UNC tunnel to a standing ovation of Carolina faithful. He spoke a few words, not many and then introduced the first Belichick recruit of a QB from North Carolina. That kid predicted great things. Something the coach knew not to do. The crowd was pumped.

That excitement carried through for the rest of the game. Too bad Carolina was not playing Duke because the players were definitely pumped up from the excitement of the announcement even though it’s not even their sport.

Hopefully Bill will prove that he can be a great college coach and not just the coach who was lucky to have Tom Brady. Carolina can’t afford for him to fail.

Don’t Harass Old Ladies

It was take your mother on errands day. My Mom still drives, but only to places she is familiar with and have driven to many times. That means no driving in Durham, except back to Providence.

One of the errands today was to a bank. My mother had an account from a South Carolina bank since 1994. The bank has been sold multiple times. She still had an account at this bank for one certain thing. The bank recently contacted my mother that they could no longer cash her checks until she signed a new signature card. The only issue is this particular bank did not have a branch near my mother.

She contacted them and asked if she could do it electronically. She is very familiar with docUsign. After a very long call with an unhelpful young man she was told she must visit a branch. That’s where I came in. We found a branch in Raleigh.

I can’t tell you the last time I had been inside a bank, but I was most assumed by the sign on the door, “America’s most convenient bank.” I wondered who awarded them that title. It certainly could not have been a little old lady customer.

It took much longer than it should have to get my mother’s official signature due to a very slow, or very unknowledgeable clerk. Really not that convenient.

Big Time Two Auctions in One Day

Today was Lynn and my annual Chinese Auction Party at my house and the Families Moving forward Annual Gala where I was the Host and Auctioneer. Talk about two differing auctions all on the same day!

Chinese Auction is like a white elephant, but the gifts need to be good. I have been doing this party for about 22 years, the last 15 or 16 with Lynn. It is one of my favorite parties of the year. We raised the dollar limit on what people could spend on their gift, basically because Lynn has been buying Kai lotion for years blowing past the dollar limit. I never care what the dollar limit is because I usually make my gift. This year I made four painted Christmas balls and they were a highly stollen gift.

We had a French lunch of Croque Monsier and salad. So I had to make those this morning before everyone got to the party. I would have been fine, but I was rewriting my script I had just received for the Families Moving Forward Auction, that was tonight.

Months ago my friend from church, Carol Mansfield asked me if I would be the auctioneer for their Gala. I was happy to help. I had a couple of meetings with them and she was right, they were leaving money on the table. At last years auction they were thrilled when they blew by their goal of $17,000 and got $25,000. I told them they needed to raise their goal to $100,000. I’m not going to do an event that is not trying to raise at least that much.

They had a generous donor who gave them $50,000 and we used that as a challenge grant if we raised the $100,000. So the total for the night we were looking to raise $150,000, which we did and then some.

There is nothing more fun than raising a lot of money for an organization doing great work. Jennings’s Brody had donated her blueberry farm for a chefs dinner for 25 with Gray Brooks of Pizzeria Toro and Littler being the chef. Well Matt Kelly of Vin Rouge and Arron Benjamin of Gocciolona jumped on board at the last minute so we were able to sell that dinner for $12,000 with lots of bidding. Oh I love being an Auctioneer for charity.

It was a very fun day. One I can’t repeat every week, but am sure glad it happened today.

Green Peppercorn Sauce – Green Peppercorn Chicken

Many decades ago I had a party and had a lot of leftover Orange Juice. I racked my brain what I could do with it and developed this sauce which has been a favorite ever since. It takes a while to make, but once you have it it will keep in the fridge for a long time.

It is good on chicken, fish, pork, steak, frittata, you name it, just not cake. You can scale it up if you have a big group to cook for and do it in advance.

Dana’s Green Peppercorn Sauce

1 Quart Orange juice

1 cup of balsamic vinegar

4 T. Worcestershire Sauce

2 T. Dijon mustard

2T. honey

1/3 Cup of green peppercorns that were in brine, drained

In a big sauce pan put the orange juice, balsamic vinegar and Worcestershire sauce. Bring to a boil and reduce to simmer. Simmer until the liquid has reduced to about 1/3 its original volume. This will take a few hours. Keep a watch on the pan because as it reduces you may have to turn the flame down.

When it is reduced, add the other ingredients and continue to simmer for about half an hour. It should get to be sauce like rather than liquid.

My favorite way to use it is to cook chicken thighs in a fry pan with salt and pepper on them until browned on all side. Place in a baking dish and spoon the sauce over the thighs and bake in 350° oven until they reach 185° internally. How long that is depends on how much you cooked the thighs in the fry pan and how big they are.

The leftovers of the thighs are even better because the sauce permeates the meat.

Garden Club Auction 2024

It was a rainy day and my front walkway was slippery. Not the best way to start. Thankfully Kate says she is fine and no one else slipped. Sorry everyone had to leave through my disastrous garage, but better safe than sorry.

I have to send a big shout out to Kay, Carolyn and Stephanie who were the greatest co-hostess. They stood in the kitchen getting everything ready while I was auctioneering. They are a well oiled machine and I appreciate all the work they do especially the cleaning up.

I actually bid on a fun holiday purse that sparkles and won it. Not that I am going anywhere, but someday I will go and will light up the place.

There have been a lot of requests for my Green peppercorn Chicken recipe. I will make it my blog tomorrow, so those of you who keep texting me asking for the recipe you only have to wait 24 hours.

For now I am resting as I am exhausted. Thanks for coming and biding!

My New TV Might Kill Me

My hearing is not quite as good as it used to be. My younger husband points this out in varying ways. On Friday he came into our bed room and said, “do you hear the TV?” It was off so I thought it was a trick question. “Of course I don’t hear the TV.”

My engineer husband said, “ The power supply is clicking. The TV has died.” He knew without trying to turn the thing on.

Sure enough he was right. The TV was dead. It was our first flat screen, so it was old. It also lived in a linen press so it got hot and the back of it never got dusted. Not sure if it was the heat or the dust that got to it, no autopsy was done.

We went to Costco and got a new, bigger TV, which had to be placed on a dresser, so we swapped places with the linen press. It is amazing how cheap TV’s are these days, but what is expensive is the graduate degree I need to get to learn how to use it.

The TV has fire TV installed in it, but we have Apple TV and spectrum. So trying to figure out how to find my channels and change them is next to impossible. Yesterday I stumbled upon ABC, but when it came time for CBS Sunday morning I tried to change the channel. I missed the first 20 minutes of the show because I couldn’t figure it out. I can talk to the TV, but she and I don’t speak the same language.

Russ is on a business trip and I might not have enough time in my day to find my show. Good thing I am busy because Learning how to use another TV might just kill me. The only thing I can do is change the volume, good thing, since according to Russ I am going deaf.

Garden Club Christmas Auction Is Coming, Some Advice

I spent the better part of today cooking for my Garden Club’s Christmas Auction which will be held at my house on Tuesday. It is one of my favorite events every year. 50 members of Hope Valley Garden club and some invited guests come together to raise money for the charitable organizations we support.

I volunteer my house and myself as a hostess every other year, but am the auctioneer every year. I am not alone in this effort. There is a solid team of friends who are my A -team and co-hostesses. This group is not only reliable, but do all the work in the kitchen while I am auctioneering and I have great confidence that they will get the whole lunch on the table and ready the second the auction is over. They have never failed in all the years we have been doing this.

In spite of all this preparation there are always things that come up that throw me off a little. Some are no big deal. Today my friends Lynn and Anne showed up with their auction item, a beautiful fiddle leaf fig. They rightfully thought it was best to bring it here when it is not raining. So now it is waiting in the dining room in a sunny spot.

Earlier this week I got an email from a member wanting to drop off her auction item because she was going out of town. Normally not an issue, but her item was a 9 x 13 inch pan that needed to go in my freezer. She did ask if I had room, but followed it up with, “If you don’t have room, do you know who might?”

I almost spit out my tea when I read that. First asking me to put anything in my freezer during a holiday is a big laugh, let along a 9 x 13 pan, but that is not as absurd as the idea that I have any idea what others have in their freezers.

What I wanted to say is, “ Wait, let me check the freezer cameras I have on all my friend’s freezers.” Not what I said. It was easier to say, “I’ll make it work.” So I reorganized and made room. We agreed on a time she would bring it to me. I waited around two hours and after the time passed got a message that she had an emergency and was not going to bring it at all and instead would donate something else. So glad I did the work to solve the issue.

This is not the first time someone has shown up at my house with something they wanted to put in my fridge or freezer. Don’t do it. If what you bring requires cooling bring your own cooler. I don’t have the space or the time to make room while I am trying to throw a party.

Here is my public service announcement. Never ask me if I have room in my freezer. You are going to get a cheeky answer. If you need to find room in someone else’s freezer, do the work yourself. My network of freezer camera’s is permanently down.