Well Trained

There is no better sound to a wife than that of hearing your husband getting the vacuum out of the closet and running it without first, telling you he is doing it or reporting afterward that he did it. I am not asking why or mentioning anything about this behavior, but I will do something nice for him in return.

This was being done while he did the dishes. Please no one try and steal my husband. It took years to get him like this and I am certain I will not live long enough to ever find and train another man to this degree.

My New Website is Live

http://www.learnmahjongg.com

Russ has been after me to get a new website for my mah Jongg teaching. I think we was tired of me repeating the same information over and over. So he made me a site. I had to write the copy and others contributed photos. I appreciate High Hampton, Lyford cay and Emily Poole for giving me photos. Getting an action shot of me teaching usually involves me with my mouth open making a face that would scare off most potential new students. If you know me you are used to those faces.

From the photos I was given it is apparent I make lots of faces that no model would ever do. But the website is not about the photos. It is a listing of all my “public” classes. Public being relative. I do not list classes held at someone’s private home as those tend to be filled by the hostess. But classes at clubs or resorts or businesses often allow all kinds of people to join. Some private clubs say only members can join, unless they don’t fill their classes and then they take non-members.

For me, as the non-tech member of our family, making sure everything on the website is right and the way I would want it is hard. So give me a little grace as I work with it and update it.

My friend Suzanne suggested I have a definitions page to explain the Dana-isms I use in class. She gave me one to start. I will be keeping track of them in classes this week and get a list going before I ask Russ to add another page.

I guess I could learn how to manage my own website, but what fun would that be. I have such a cute and reliable IT department.

There is going to be a “testimonials “ page where real life students can talk shit about me. If you want me to include a quote from you go on and contact me and tell me what you really think. I will have to include your first name and last initial. No anonymous bashing. I am not culling my email and texts from past students who have said nice things to me. I really appreciate when you send me notes, but I won’t use your words without your permission.

Feel free to share this website with anyone who is wanting to Learn Mah Jongg. That’s why I called it that!

http://www.learnmahjongg.com

Not Going Back

I grew up in the sixties and came of age in the seventies. By the time I was aware of what grown up lives could be like women were demanding equality. Bobby Riggs, the world famous male chauvinist pig, and 55 year old tennis champ challenged Tennis great, 29 year old Billie Jean King to a match claiming that he could beat her, just because he was a man. This flexing of his wee little penis did not go well for him. King beat him in straight set claiming the title of the “battle of the sexes.” Billie Jean gave young women everywhere the courage to stand up for ourselves.

A mere few months after that “battle of the sexes” whomping Bobby Riggs took I faced my own show down. As sixth grader I, along with every other sixth grader from my school, went to the Walter Schalk dance classes held in the gym at our junior high school.

Schalk had been holding dance lessons for tweens and teens in our town and the one next door for years. To encourage boys to come to dance classes Schalk would recruit sports coaches to require his players to take dance so they would be more coordinated. Schalk sweetened the deal by bribing kids once at class.

The bribes were in the form of tickets that the dance leaders would give out. At the end of class they would draw tickets and the winners would each get a dollar. There were about 200 kids in my class and they would draw three or four numbers. So the probability of winning a dollar was small to begin with.

There was one catch to getting a ticket. All girls in the class had to wear white gloves. The dance leaders would inspect our gloves to ensure they were spanking clean white. If your gloves were dirty you did not get a ticket.

Boys had a requirement for tickets also. Their shoes had to be shined. This was 1973, time of wallabies made of suede. Wallabies could not be shined so boys who wore those got a ticket out of default.

Often the dance leaders would forget to give us our tickets until we had already danced one or two dances. One of those nights as the ticket givers were circling the room checking gloves and the four pairs of boys shoes that could be shined I was called out for dirty gloves. Not getting a ticket was bad enough, but you were also ridiculed publicly for dirty gloves.

Channeling my inner Billie Jean King I stood up and claimed this was unfair. “My gloves were clean when I walked in. You did not check our gloves then. I just danced two dances with two boys with sweaty, dirty hands. They is why my gloves are dirty now. I should not be penalized for their dirty hands.”

Then I doubled down on the hypocrisy. “Also, no boys are ever denied tickets because they don’t even wear shoes that can be shined. This whole thing is chauvinistic.”

Walter Shaulk himself took great umbrage with my out burst, but I stood my ground. He denied my ticket that night and demand I right an apology 100 times. I did. I wrote 100 times, “I am sorry Walter Shaulk is a male chauvinist pig.”

I came into class the next week and as the gloves were being inspected I marched my paper up to Mr. Shaulk and handed it to him. “The apology you asked for.” He never even read the words, not seeing exactly how I wrote it. But I had stood my ground and when classes began I would call out, “Please look at gloves before we dance.” Which they always did fearing I might make another scene. No longer were girls denied tickets for boys’ dirty hands.

I think of this story now as women’s rights are being challenged. Women have had to fight for those rights. No one just gave them to us. We can not go back to a time where men, by the mere fact that they were born with a penis, can tell women what to do.

Equal rights mean you get to start on a level playing field. If you want to get something you work for it and may the best person win. Not like Walter Schalk dancing school, boys get tickets for showing up, girls had to wash their gloves and be clean.

Walter Schalk used to defend the ticket system by saying he would never have enough boys in dancing school to dance with all the girls if he didn’t make it easy for them to win money. What a fool. Dance class was the closet boys ever got to girls breasts in sixth grade. They would have paid him the dollar.

Happy Birthday Ellis!

25 years ago, when Ellis was still a baby I first met her when she and Carter were baptized on the same day at church. It was a rare occasion when two babies from different families get baptized on the same day. No one thought to tell either family. There was a little skirmish in the pews as both families tried to claim the reserved pews. Thankfully that was the last skirmish to be had between our families and we quickly became family to each other.

Today Ellis turns 26 and I consider her my bonus daughter and Carter’s sister E. Ellis has always been a favorite, but I think she has grown into one of the nicest adults I know.

Ellis, I hope your birthday is being highly celebrated in NYC. You know you always have a place here as well love you like the family you are.

How Things Have Changed

When I was a kid there were two things that rarely happened and when they did we were very excited. The first was going out to dinner. Going out to dinner was something that might have happened once a year.

We didn’t have a lot of places to go out to eat and children were rarely included in dinners out. Our “out to dinner” was a Swanson’s frozen dinner at home with a babysitter.

The second thing that rarely happened in my childhood was the delivery of a package. We didn’t “order” things. I can remember going to friend’s houses and spending hours looking at the giant Sears catalog. We never had one of those, or a Penny’s or any other catalogs.

The only exception was the FAO Schwartz catalog that came in October. We would pour through it circling both the live pony and the stuffed pony you peddled from the cart it pulled. They were roughly the same price so we thought if we circled both we might get one. We got none.

At Christmas sometimes a package would come from one of the vendors who sold things to my father. The printing company he used for Avon would send the largest tower the Harry and David Company sold. No wonder since Avon was the largest printing client in the country. By the time my father got home all the chocolates had been eaten out of the gift, but the pears were fully intact.

A package that arrived at our house was fair game for any child to open. There was no regard for an addressee. The ups man had barley turned his truck around in the driveway before we had ripped open any box and examined the contents in case there was a pony in there.

Given this history I find it amazing that now packages arrive at our house and sit unopened on the hall chest for days. Once in a while Russ will say, “what’s in that box.” I will shrug and say, “dunno.”

We order so frequently that we forget what we order and it rarely is something we need in an emergency. The box sitting in the front hall now has been there at least three days. I think it is vitamins, but I still have others so I have have been in no hurry to open it. My childhood self would have lost my mind at the thought of a delivered box going longer than ten minutes unopened.

My childhood self would also be shocked about how often we eat out. It is just not as exciting as it was when it only happened once a year. I guess if the only things that came in childhood packages were vitamins we might have given up on opening those too.

The Softness of Spring

When Carter was in school spring Break was my favorite vacation. Being a set time of year with a defined start and stop made it a great time to go on vacation. Summer was harder, there was camp and other things going on so summer vacation was not as well defined.

I planned great spring breaks, going to new and different places with Carter. Then she went to college and my spring breaks ended. Now she is a grown up and the memories of spring breaks are so so far back.

I miss that defined vacation. Russ and I tend to just keep working and not plan vacations the way we did when the school calendar dictated them.

It never failed that when we did go on spring break we would miss the most beautiful weather in Durham. We would curse that the forsythia would come and go the ten days we were away. Or that it would be 45 degrees the day we left and 70 the days after, but as soon as we got home it would go back to 45.

With spring break at home now I am enjoying the blooming of the forsythia and the first 80 degree day of spring. It is beautiful all week. The air is soft and the brightness of the new growth green is everywhere.

I may have loved spring breaks away, but it is hard to beat spring here in Durham. It will be short lived. The fleeting nature of spring in the south makes each perfect day more precious. I’m so glad to have it today. My soul needs a soft warm green day full of hope.

Daylight Saving Time Strikes

Today I had an evening Mah Jongg Class in East Raleigh. The normal amount of time it takes me to get there should be 35 minutes. In rush hour, maybe an hour. I gave myself an hour and fifteen minutes. It took almost an hour and forty five minutes.

There were three MAJOR accidents along my 26 mile route. I kept getting rerouted by my GPS and as I would cross over my original road I would see the lights flashing of the accident.

The last accident I had to drive right past as it was on the exit ramp of I 40, which was closed to traffic on both the off ramp and on ramp. There were no less that fifty emergency vehicles. I could not see the exact accident, but it had to be a doozy.

I just made it to class with no time to spare. After three hours I got back in the car to go home and the last horrible accident was still an active scene, but now with half as many emergency Vehicles. My god, what happened there that they were still removing things?

The only explanation for all these accidents on a warm dry day was daylight saving time. The loss of that one hour throws people off so badly they make a fatal error. Why do we do this craziness of setting the clocks forward and back? I still haven’t corrected the clock in my car. I am so spoiled by my Apple Watch and iPhone for the correct time.

Thankfully I planned a very easy week so I have slept as long as I have wanted. To make up for it I gathered all the tax information today. Seemed like an appropriate punishment for a good lie in. Thank goodness I did get plenty of sleep. You have to be on your toes out on the road. Be careful.

It’s the Economy, Stupid

Economics is a complicated area of study. My college grade in Macro is proof. Many things in economics are intertwined. An easy example is when interest rates go up not as many people build houses on spec. If people are not building as many house the demand for lumber goes down. When the demand goes down so does the price. When the price goes down so does the need for more workers in the lumber industry. When those workers get laid off they can’t buy new things like cars.

So the demand for cars goes down. So there is less need for steel to build new cars and fewer workers needed to make steel or build cars. So those people get laid off. So they can’t afford to go on vacation. So there are fewer people flying. So airlines make less money. When all these industries make less money their stocks go down.

I know that is a simplified example, but we are all interconnected economically. So when the government slashes jobs the government is not just saving money on what it paid those workers. Because those workers spent money and paid taxes that keep the economy working.

When we cut Snap benefits, which you might know as Food stamps, then children go to school hungry, and hungry children do not learn. But it’s not just about hunger, it’s also about the economy. When someone spends snap benefits, they do it at a local store. Thanks to those snap benefits the store make more profit, and pays more employees, who then spend their pay check in the local economy and pay taxes. All that money moving through the economy is what helps America grow and makes the stock market go up.

Uncertainty is what makes the stock market go down. In less than two months Trump has enacted policies that have affected the stock market in the most negative way of any newly elected president.

I know that many people voted for him because they thought he would be better for the economy. Are you better off today? If so, how?

Is Mah Jongg Class a Party?

There is a difference between a class and a party? Mah Jongg is no different. You can go to a Mah Jongg Class or you can go to a Mah Jongg Party. At a class you are going to learn things. The teacher should have a plan for how you will learn. Will it be fun? It should be. If you are not having fun learning a game you need a different teacher. Eventually at mah Jongg class you will get to play mah Jongg. Food and drink is not the focus, although you may have some of that.

At a mah Jongg party you you should also have fun. You should get to play and perhaps enjoy some libations and food. You can talk to your friends and make new ones.

The big difference between a class and a party is at one you are there to learn at the other you are there to play. At both you can have fun.

When I teach beginner Mah Jongg the first class is hard. There is a lot to learn and I have spent years perfecting the process so that the most people can learn the most information in a systematic way. The first class is foundational and if you don’t get a firm foundation it is not as much fun further down the road.

Today I had a lovely group of students at their friend’s beautiful house. Half of the class showed up with a bottle of wine. Before a cork was popped I told them that if they were a person who thought they could learn to fly a 747 on an active runway, then they might be able to drink a glass of wine and learn Mah Jongg. Most of them waited for wine until later.

It was a good idea. Learning something complicated is hard enough. Wine does not aid you in anyway to learn. It is not like learning a dance, where a little loosening up might help you. It is more like learning to fly a jet.

So thanks to those ladies today who heard my message and waited. It will pay off in the long run. Once you “learn” mah Jongg you can have a glass of wine while you “play” mah Jongg. Class is not a party, but it still can be fun.

Potato Leek Soup Juzzed Up

We haven’t had enough soup this winter so before the clocks spring forward I made a pot of soup. I got some beautiful leeks at the farmers market so that inspired me.

5 leeks, just the white and very light green parts sliced and cleaned

4 Yukon gold potatoes, cubed into one inch cubes

3 T. Butter

6 c. Chicken broth

1 t. Thyme

4 cloves of garlic minced

1 cup half and half

Juice of one lemon

1 T. Trader Joe’s Multi purpose Umami Seasoning

1 T. Trader Joe’s Cuban Style Citrusy Garlic Seasoning

Salt and Peoper

Melt the butter in a big stockpot. Add the leeks and cook on medium, stirring regularly For five minutes. Add the garlic and the Thyme 1 t. Salt and a bunch of black pepper. Continue cooking for another five minutes.

Add the chicken broth and the potatoes. Simmer for 20 minutes until the potatoes are cooked through.

Remove pot from heat and using a immersion blender, blend the soup. Add the cream, lemon juice and seasoning. Taste for salt and add More Traders Joes seasoning as you like.

I Can’t Read Your Hand Writing

When I teach Mah Jongg I have people sign in on my little Mah Jongg book with their name and email address. The one thing I ask, “Please write your email address so I can read it.”

So many people have lost all ability to hand write. Sometimes they are just shaky writers. They can’t help that as it comes with age. Sadly, those are usually the people who had beautiful hand writing at one point.

Some people write certain letters in a stylized way. That is a disaster. I have a terrible time telling the difference in u or v, or a or o, or i or l. The worst is when someone has a zero in their email address and they don’t put a slash through it so I think it is an O. O and 0 look the same.

If you have a dot in your email address you need to leave plenty of space between the letter that precedes it and the letter that proceeds it and make the DOT BIG.

Don’t even get me started on the @ sign. That symbol sometimes takes on a life of its own. If your email ends in gmail.com I can usually figure out what you wrote right before Gmail is an @, but if you have some off brand email all bets are off.

So people, please practice writing your email in block letters. No cursive, leave spaces between and reread it and make sure it is clear. I apologize if you were waiting for an email from me and it never came. I tried. I tried multiple ways. IT just kept bouncing back. If your email is not your name, then you have to really make sure it is legible. Even if it is your name, then make sure they both are readable.

The Joy of A Good Book

I spent a lot of time in the car this week driving to and from Smithfield for classes. The classes were great, but driving an hour both ways at 11:30 on the morning and back again at 9 pm, getting home after 10 makes for a long day.

Today was my third day. I had an early doctors appointment on the way to class so my day started even earlier. One of my sweet beginner students, Ella Ann, invited to her house during my break. I had a little over an hour of down time and she originally offered me a room to lie down in.

I certainly didn’t need to lie down, but I was happy to sit and have a cup of tea with her and talk. It was such a nice visit as she is just about the nicest person. I was not surprised by that since I know four of her five children, who are all wonderful people, as well as four of her many grand children.

We got to talking about books we have read in our book clubs and we had very similar tastes in books. I told her I listened to many books during my drives and this week was no different. I have been listening to my book club’s book and have been so annoyed. The reader does different voices for different characters. There are two children in this book and when the reader does those voices they are much louder and very obnoxious. They are so much louder than the main character I have to turn the volume down in the car when “they are speaking.”

Ella and I both agreed that life is too short to read mediocre books when there are so many wonderful books. Right now the jury is out on the book I am listening too. The bad reader might be ruining it for me, but I will keep at it since it is for book club.

Ella Ann promised to send me the list of her favorite books she has read in the past couple of years. Maybe my book club will chose one from her list.

Where’s the new Card?

“No, I haven’t seen the new Mah Jongg Card yet.” Only the people at the National Mah Jongg League who create the new card have seen it and I am pretty sure they aren’t talking. So for all you people who are buying cards off Amazon, claiming you have the new card, you don’t. It’s counterfeit. You might have a card, but it is not the card.

I hope my new card comes as close to April 1 as possible. I have given myself eight days to do all my analysis and learn the new card and write the power point “New card” lesson. Creating last year’s 81 slide power point took me every bit of seven days.

It will be similar this year. The 2024 card was a big departure from the 2023. I can’t wait to see what they come up with for 2025. I really need something good to happen in 2025.

So for all my students awaiting the new card class, it’s coming. I just scheduled one more class in Greensboro. That will make 15 different new card classes in 12 cities. I look forward to seeing you at one of them or on the zoom class.

Asking for Clarification

Tonight I was teaching a beyond beginner class. One of the tables was a group of friends who play together every week. I taught them beginner a few months ago and they have faithfully been playing.

When I asked if anyone had any questions one of the young women brought up a scenario that had taken place last week. She wanted to exchange two tiles for two exposed jokers at the same time. Her friends told her she could only do one per turn so she listened to them and that was what she did, even though she thought her friends were wrong.

So she asked me who was right. It turns out all her friends were wrong and she was right. I said, “why didn’t you text me for the answer.” She said they played late at night and they knew I didn’t answer after 9pm.

Sometimes it is hard when you are all new players to get the right answer to an obscure technical question. But always ask an impartial expert, even if it is after the fact. The loudest or the bossiest person is not always right.

If you take note of the situation you can at least get the right answer for the next time this happens. Learning all the rules correctly takes time. It is also OK to make a mistake and learn from it. You usually learn best from a failure.

All my students know they can text me to answer questions. I would rather have you get the right answer and play correctly than have you make up your own rules because you don’t remember what I taught you the first time. You can’t learn it all in one sitting and even though I might have told you it does not mean that you learned it all.

Day of Birthday Celebrations

I had two friends whose birthdays I celebrated today. The first was my friend Judy. I met Judy right when we moved to Durham and learned to play Mah Jongg with her. Judy is a little older than I am so she was always good for advice. But she is best at telling a good joke. Her timing and delivery can’t be beat.

So today Jan organized a brunch with Judy, Diane, Helen, Deanna and myself. Jan, Diane along with Judy were in my original mah Jongg group. We were only missing Roz. Deanna joined us some years later after she and I learned to play bridge from Helen and Jan. We all love games and each other.

It was not a big birthday, but at this age they all are big. It is just nice to be together.

My second birthday group was my secret stitching group. Since it is a secret I can not reveal who is in it, or whose birthday we were celebrating, but it was fun as it always is. We are not doing presents anymore which makes me happy since I don’t want more stuff, no matter how good it is.

Being with my stitchers reminds me I have to get on making my Christmas exchange ornaments. I had a good idea while I was working on my chair seat. I am working on number three and it feel like it is going on forever. This is probably because I have been working for months on background. It was good to do while catching up with the stitching news.

So many celebrations on one day. Thank goodness for some good news.

I’m so Proud of My Church

Today was youth Sunday at Westminster Presbyterian. What that means is the youth of the church run the whole church service. They have Pastor Alex as their leader, but he does not write, or read or preach. The kids do all of that.

For the record we are a church whose motto is Micah 6:8 “Do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with God.” It’s a tall order, but one we do not swerve from. These days I feel like there are a lot of “Christians” in name only. To be fair, they may not ever hear the teaching of the Jesus who took care of the poor and the sinners if those Christians have preachers who cherry pick the Bible and divide rather than unite people.

Loving all people is a tall order. Trust me I am not good at it, but I do believe that Jesus taught us to take care of those with the least.

Getting back to the service today…seven young people who are all seniors in high school were given the task on preaching the lectionary today which was from Luke. It was a difficult passage, but each one rose to occasion. Of the seven one was a trans child of god and the other non-binary and they spoke their truth without apology. It made my heart happy that in this time when anyone who is considered “other” can easily be persecuted, but at Westminster they are loved.

These people are children of God, just all any other and as I have been taught at Westminster, “God didn’t make any junk.” So none of us humans should cast dispersions.

After the service the youth served a lunch and we had the “cake” auction to raise money for the youth group. We had to add tables so many members came to the lunch and auction and we raised a great amount of money for youth programs because we all know that the things these kids learn in youth group are making the next generation of leaders for our country of kind, caring and loving humans.

I am proud of this place where all are welcome and know they are loved without reservation or qualification.

Great to be Home

Russ and I arrived home Thursday night to an empty refrigerator. We had plenty in the freezer to eat yesterday, but needed fresh food today. We try and buy local as much as possible so we were thrilled that farmer’s market was open this morning.

Supporting local farmers in important to us not just because the food tastes better and is organic, but because it greatly reduces our foot print since all the vendors in Durham have to be from with in 50 miles away, with the exception of seafood from the coast. If you don’t support local agriculture there could come a day when we don’t have fresh fruits and vegetables because we would be dependent on other countries.

This time of year we are able to get Kale, leaks, cabbage and mushrooms. We also got flounder from the coast. I came home and make mushroom soup adding some dried mushrooms to make the mushroom broth along with the fresh mushrooms. For dinner we had slaw from our local cabbage, flounder and mashed butternut squash. It was simple and yummy.

I also bought a fresh juice from my favorite vendor. Todays favorite mixture was watermelon, green apple, celery and ginger. I use this juice as the base of a mocktail, adding ginger beer and lime juice. Such a refreshing treat.

The Durham farmers’s market is such a joy where people of all walks of life come to enjoy the bounty’s of our region.

Recovery Day

We didn’t get home until close to midnight. That meant Russ fell right to sleep and I was up another hour winding down. Shay was still at her sitters so I got an uninterrupted night’s sleep well until 8:30.

When I actually got up I realized Russ had already left for work so I lazed around and read the mail and answered e-mails and calls that had piled up while I was gone. Eventually I got up and picked Shay up and stripped the bed and did a bunch of wash.

When Russ got home I looked at him for a few minutes before I realized his beard was gone. I had grown to liking his beard, although he should have had it trimmed before our trip. Now he looks younger, but I am missing that “hot Santa” look.

He said he could grow it back for me, which I already know takes barely two weeks. He looks younger without it, but cuter with it. I like having such a young husband, but also a cuter one. Such a dilemma. At least it didn’t take me more than a few minutes to recognize it was gone.

Tournament and Travel

It was the final Mah Jongg day at Lyford. We had a mini tournament and farewell lunch. It was quite exciting to have five tables forgo a beautiful Bahamian day to sit inside and practice the skills they learned this week. We had some newbie and experienced players and the winners spanned the spectrum. In the end fun was had by all.

Russ braved lunch with the ladies who are now not just students, but friends. I am especially indebted to Ruth E. For championing Mah Jongg at Lyford and always being the best hostess and friend.

We left for the airport and after being stuck in a pre-check line forever due to a bad conveyor belt we finally got through in time to get one the earlier flight to Atlanta. It is much better to hang here at the Delta club than just sit at the gate in Nassau.

Time to go home and get back to reality. Mostly happy to get back to Shay.

After All the Classes

Three days of classes, 24 in one and 48 in another, 18 hours of standing up talking, answering questions, telling stories, it’s time to party. The only problem is my the time we have the big party at Ruth E.’s house I am just exhausted.

The highlight of the evening is always Laura Peterson’s baked Mah Jongg tiles. This year’s version were sour dough crackers, make in her toaster oven. She makes a full set of painted tiles and they taste yummy too!

I do my best to stand up and talk to people, but eventually I just give up and hold court on the sofa.

Thankfully everyone is so nice and just comes and talks to me.

What a nice group of people. I will never tire of teaching here as long as they will have me.

Beyond Teaching

I have a big work week, but my social schedule is the real deal. Despite having two classes to teach today I was able to squeeze in a lunch at Princess Borghese’s house with Russ, Ruth E. and Janie Cadbury. Ruth E. had told me that Kika (that’s the princess to you) had the most fabulous art collection. I was so excited to be invited to come see a teensy bit of her art at her lovely home. Her orchids were also a sight to behold.

Ruth E. was right. Each work was more spectacular than the next. I wish we had hours to look at it and hear about how Kika had discovered each artist. We had a lovely lunch in her dining room of pasta and salad. I had to fight the need for a nap to go back and teach class in the afternoon.

Thankfully after my afternoon class I was able to rest for an hour before we went to dinner with Lisa and Will Mathis. I met Lisa in my first beginner class I taught here and instantly adored her. She is not a big Mah Jongg player, which matters little to me, but I am so happy when I get to see here when I am teaching at Lyford or in Houston. I always know I am going to have the best time with her.

It was a great pleasure to get to know Will who greatly resembled my father in his hospitality. He ordered all the best things for dinner and was a delightful host. We bonded over our shared love of sweet n’ low. But it is Lisa who give me the most laughs and that feeling like I have known her all of my life, when in reality I have spent just a few days and just a few hours with her. Not sure she feels the same way, but one day she will be playing more Mah Jongg with me.

One Student’s Happy Day

Day one of Bahama Mah Jongg. The beginners did a great job of learning the basics. They were a superior group, catching on to ever more difficult concepts throughout the class. A couple of students had already taken lessons and told me that they learned more in the first three hours of my class than they did with the multiple classes from someone else. Sometimes it helps to hear things more than once.

One student told me their teacher hovers over them going around picking their tiles for them. She loved that I made them pick their own tiles and learn to think for themselves. This has always been my mantra, “I will never pick your tiles for you. You pick them first and I will discuss it with you.” No one learns anything if you don’t pick your own tiles. I am in the business of teaching people how to think, not what to think.

So my afternoon class was a giant group of Beyond Beginners. So many returning friends makes teaching this class pure joy. I love to see how much people have improved. We also had a group of newbies. Poor things get thrown right into the fire with me with no idea of what it is going to be like.

So as we are working on a hand, one opponent made two exposures. I asked the class what hand the opponent was playing. We identified one and I pointed out that in that case their hand was dead. Then Debbie from Nebraska brought up a different hand I had not considered. She was right. That was the hand the opponent was playing! Debbie had pointed out something I had not noticed! It was a beat the teacher moment for her. She rightfully was quite proud!

I love when that happens. Nothing makes my students any happier than teaching me something and I love it. No one person knows or is right about everything all the time. Gold star day for Debbie.

The Calm Before

Sunday at Lyford is always restful for me compared to the rest of the week. It was a beautiful day and Russ and I got to hang out, enjoy the beach, eat good food, play games and needlepoint on the porch.

There were two highlights of the day. The first was going to a screening of Rising Hope a documentary about the people of the Mississippi Delta. We first learned about this film from Daria de Koning last year. Her film maker husband, Theo Avgerinos made this documentary. Since Russ was on the board of the Full Frame Documentary Fill Festival and I love docs we were very interested in seeing this film and were lucky that Theo and Daria are here for Mah Jongg week and screened it at Lyford.

The film introduces you to a handful of inspiring people living in the Delta and tells their universal stories of living in rural America. As I got to know the people through the film I found tears streaming down my face. Theo tells a well paced and compelling story throughout this beautifully shot film.

There is going to be a screening at Wake Forest on March 25 and I highly recommend seeing it if you are able. Hopefully there will be a wider release soon.

The second highlight of the day was the welcome cocktail party for Mah Jongg week. The turn out this year is overwhelming. I met lots of new students who quietly confessed fear about the class. I promised each of them they would be fine. No one should be afraid to learn a game.

It was so fun to see so many returning friends. I need a good night’s sleep because there are 14 tables in my teaching room. Its going to be wild, just the way I expect it at Lyford!

Lyford Surprise

Russ and I flew down to the Bahamas for my forth Mah Jongg week at Lyford Cay. At this point it is like coming to visit old friends. Everyone here could not be nicer to us.

Ruth E. Picked us up at the airport as she always does and gave us our social calendar. I am here to teach Mah Jongg. I am always surprised that it grows bigger and bigger. There will be new faces, but I really love getting to see the familiar.

We were barley here a minute and we had to change to go to a cocktail party. On the way there we learned that James Taylor was here to sing at a birthday party. The birthday of a famous person has been going on for days. Tonight the party was at the club and so it was decided we could also go listen to JT.

From the cocktail party Russ, Ruth E. and her sister-in-law Claire and I went to dinner. It was a nice change to get to sit outside and have dinner after having been stuck inside at home with snow this week.

From dinner we had been invited to another party, but the whole party moved to the pool terrace where we sat in the dark awaiting the James Taylor’s concert we were going to enjoy as non-guests of the birthday party in the tent 15 feet away.

We waited and waited and after and hour and fifteen minutes in the dark the Music started. James Taylor is the sound track of our lives and once he played Going to Carolina I was happy and left for bed.

I am not sure I can keep up three parties a night and still be able to teach Six hours of Mah Jongg a day. Somehow I will endure. As wonderful as Lyford is James Taylor makes it just that much better.

Stand Up To Bullies

When I was first appointed as a trustee at a school I was put on a committee called “learning environment.” I had never heard of this committee before and had no idea what it did or had done. Not a plum assignment as far as I was concerned. It was not my only committee, but since I was assigned to it I took it seriously.

I went to my first very polite meeting which was chaired by a nice women who was an upper school parent, had never been a trustee and only ever had students in the upper school. I had been through pre-school, lower school and at the time had a new middle school student. I had a different perspective.

If my memory served me, my first meeting was a report about how Chinese language classes were going. It was interesting, but at the end I asked what our call to action was concerning Chinese? Nothing. Trying not to be too much of a trouble maker, I asked what our purpose as a committee was? No good answer was provided.

I then asked when our next meeting was and what the topic was going to be. I was told we met twice a year and heard reports. The next one was about something similar to Chinese. It was then I asked, “When might we discuss bullying?” The chair asked why I brought that up. I said, bullying is a problem in middle school that actually affects the learning environment, so I assumed it would fall under our preview.

The chair took my question to heart and bullying became an issue we dealt with. No more nice reports were made at meetings and we started meeting with much more frequency.

The program this school went on adopt was called Olweus bullying prevention program. The program taught children to not be bystanders when they witnessed bullying, but to become allies. Bullies prey on the weak and count on others to be too afraid to become a victim of the bully themselves. Once kids were taught that there was strength in numbers and kindness toward the victim took the power from the bully. The bullying diminished when the bully was now the one on the outside.

Today Janet Mills, Governor of Maine stood up to a bully. We need more strong people to do the same. I am an ally of Janet Mills. I support Maine and the good people of Maine who elected this strong woman who was not afraid to tell the bully no. Other governors need to learn to Olweus method and stand together in strength and kindness.

Countdown to the New Mah Jongg Card

Every year I get the same questions about the new Mah Jongg Card…

“Why does it start on April 1?” Because stuffing all the envelopes takes time and they would rather do it in the winter months than during the holidays.

“Do you get to see it early?” No,I get my new cards at the same time as you, if you ordered on January 1.

“Why can’t I buy it from Amazon?” Because then it is counterfeit. And it is important to support the National Mah Jongg League and not Jeff Bezos.

I have had students practically come to blows when the cards come out and someone picks up someone else’s card, by mistake. You should write your name on your card, but there is a much more beautiful solution. My friend Kelsey Holding had been making card name stickers for the last three years. She customizes a beautiful sticker with your name and you place it on the front of your card. No one will ever be able to claim your card as their own.

Kelsey has an Etsy store called Bolding Designs https://www.etsy.com/shop/BoldingDesign

It is easy to order and well before your card comes you can have your sticker ready to go.

There are just a few of the many designs she makes. It also makes a cute gift for your Mah Jongg loving friends.

I will be sporting my new card cover when I make my North Carolina wide tour of New Card Classes. I hope to see you at one of classes when we get to learn all the strategies for playing the 2025 card.

Why I am Always Friends with the Receptionist

I got a funny call from someone claiming they were a Mah Jongg teacher. The women did not ask my name, but jumped right into her pitch. “This is (fill in some random Mah Jongg name) and I am wondering if you want to offer mah Jongg lessons at your club?”

My response was, “What club do you think you are calling?”

With a lot of doubt in her voice she says the partial name of a club I have been teaching for years.

I ask her if she meant XYZ club, giving the full name. She says, “Yes.”

I probe a little more, asking her how long she has been teaching.

She gave a vague answer.

I decide not to torture her any longer.

“This club has been offering Mah Jongg lessons for years, and I am the teacher.”

She stumbles and back tracks and only then asks my name. I give it to her and she says, “Oh, yes. I know of you.”

She hangs up. I look her up. I taught her Mah Jongg.

I called the receptionist at the club. She tells me she thought it would be more fun for me to tell her that the club already was well taken care of in the Mah Jongg world.

There are many people who are good mah Jongg players, that does not make them mah Jongg teachers. I have taught a lot of people how to play, who go on to teach. Teaching beginner mah Jongg is teaching rules. That is the easiest thing to do. Making it fun is the trick. Then teaching people strategy and how to think are the real skills for a mah Jongg teacher. That and being friendly with the receptionists and club managers.

Sick Away From Home

The saddest sound is a call from your child when she is sick. Carter is on a trip and is sick. Even though she is with Claire she still calls to tell me she is sick. And the worst thing is she is so far away I can’t do anything about it.

When she was 12 or 13 she went to Taiwan to go to school in the summer. She lived with a family we didn’t know. One day she got the flu. Everyone in her “family” had to go to work so she stayed home alone. So she called me from Taiwan.

Russ and I were on a trip to Seattle and Oregon. We were hiking in the middle of know where and my phone rang. It was the saddest wail I had ever heard.

Carter was sick. Nothing too terrible, but she just wanted her Mom. She was half a world away. There was nothing I could do, but tell her she would get better. Which she did.

A couple of days later I called her to check in and it was as if that sickness had never happened. She was 12 or 13. How quickly she snapped out of needing her mother.

It is nice that even your adult child still needs you when they are sick. And it still hurts my heart when I can’t do anything about it.

Happy Birthday to Suzanne

You have been my friend since we met our freshman year of college. You were always the good one and I was the naughty one. That was ok because I knew in your heart you could also be naughty, just not as bad as me. We were meant to be sisters.

You were always in on the joke. We have shared the same sense of humor even when others didn’t realize there was a joke. You defended me when I needed it and always knew I would have your back. I was your cover in front of obscure monuments and you were mine when the Mets were playing.

From the punch in your earlobe to the lost underpants you have been there for me.

I was there through all the years of Steve’s courtship, knowing he was the one before either of you did. I was your maid of honor and you were my Maiden. You are Carter’s God mother and I am the fairy godmother of all of yours.

Your family welcomed me in as the sixth sister, and kept me even when I got caught in “the room.” My family wishes we all looked like you.

We cried together over the loss of dear friends and told so many stories with those who we still love.

You brought me into your literary world and I brought you into the Mah Jongg world.

Through all the forty-five years of friendship I have always had you in my corner and I am here for you no matter what.

To the question “Will You still need me, will you still feed me when I’m sixty four?” You know the answer. From the salad bowl to the fruit cup you will always be my bosom buddy.

Happy Birthday Suzanne. I love you forever.

Watching Paint Dry

Some days are made for binge watching and needlepoint. Today was such a day. It started relatively productively with Russ and I hosting the newcomers class at Church. That means we go in early, make the coffee, bring the homemade baked goods and welcome everyone. No heavy lifting. It was the final class in this series and we have so enjoyed getting to know the new people considering joining Westminster.

Church was an up lifting service due to a good sermon and some spectacular music, we have new music director who has really changed things up to the point that I feel like we should sell tickets. That ended my day as far as doing for others was concerned.

I spent most of the rest of the day trying to make progress on my third needlepoint seat for my game table. It has such a huge amount of background and I have been grinding it out. I have probably only completed about a fifth of the giant canvas.

Taking a break from background, I mopped the kitchen floor and folded laundry. They were my fun breaks. Shay was not happy about the rain so she stayed mostly snuggled up with me watching the fifth season of some decidedly chick TV.

Nothing exciting happening around our house today. I hear it is going to get colder this week so I plan on continuing to needlepoint. Sorry for the lack of excitement. Needlepointing a neutral white is similar to watching paint dry.

The Best Mah Jongg BirthdayParty

My cute young student Emily has become one my favorites. She gathers many groups to learn Mah Jongg and she even gives Mah Jongg lessons as gifts to her loved ones.

Today she threw a birthday party for Sarah Lane that was a Mah Jongg themed party. No detail was spared from Emily’s talented eye and exquisite taste. She had a photographer there, but the party should appear in Garden and Gun. She invited me to come to run a tournament for those guests who already were Mah Jongg players and teach a lesson to those who were not.

I arrived early to set up and got to get a close look at the beautiful flowers, balloon arches, spectacular table settings with napkins embroidered with a red and pink Pagoda and Sarah Lane’s initial.

It was so fun to visit with the guests as they arrived since I knew most of them. I love my young friends and was so happy to see Meghan and Caroline. Everyone enjoyed drinks before we all sat down to an Asian inspired lunch. After cake we got up for the playing time.

I divided players into fast, slower and learning groups. The tables who were playing were competing for prizes. I was quite proud of Sarah Lane’s grandmother Mary Ann for winning the whole kittenkaboodle. (Her cohorts, known as Table -4 in my classes, would also be proud.)

I gave a very abbreviated lesson to the newbies and now they are ready for real lessons. Thanks to Edie, Emily’s Mom for helping out with the learners.

We were all so pampered by the staff, led by my favorite Pandora who always takes care of me when I teach classes at this club.

It was a most fun afternoon thanks to Emily. She thought of every detail and was a most gracious hostess. Happy Birthday to Sarah Lane.

Valentines Through the Years

When I was little Valentine’s Day was dominated by the shoe boxes we decorated to be the “mailboxes” our classmates put our tiny valentine cards into. You always brought a card for everyone in the class, no questions asked. Somewhere in the late sixties people started attaching lollipops or candy hearts to the cards, but nothing significant.

I still remember one card I got in fourth grade from Curtis Zelbisher. Since my last name was Carter and he was particularly found of Carter’s rubber cement he wrote on my valentine, in his practically illegible hand writing, “I want to stick with you.” Perhaps there was a schemer of rubber cement on the envelope.

In college one of the sororities sold carnations. They came in different colors, which had different meanings. People would fill out a little note and it was attached to the carnation with a string. I can’t remember exactly how they were delivered, but I do remember loving reading all the notes that came on all the different flowers, mostly from friends. One year I had a number of red carnations with just question marks on the notes. The red ones I think meant love, not the color I usually got many of. I never knew who sent those flowers. The person never revealed himself to me.

There were the years in Washington, DC where I was often catering someone else’s romantic Valentine’s Day. I had more than a couple of clients who liked to pretend they had cooked so I had to deliver food and put it in their pans. One man didn’t even have a two matching plates and two matching forks. I wonder what happened there?

When Russ and I were first engaged he gave me a camera lens for a camera I hated. He spent years trying to live that down. And did.

Now I am happy with the sweet cards he writes me. He always beats me with the first card of the day and more than one card to my singular card. Thankfully no rubber cement is included and it is so nice to know who my valentine is.

Happy Valentines Day to you all.

The I Believe in God Necklace

I was talking to a friend tonight and told him an old story about Carter. It is such a good story I thought I would share it here so I have it written down for posterity.

One day when Carter was about three or four she was riding in her car seat in my car as we drove through the drive up teller at the bank. A nice male teller helped me and Carter watched the whole transaction from the back. This was a time in the world when kids did not have devices or TV’s in the car so she took in the world around her.

As we drove away she said to me, “That man had a big necklace on.” He did indeed have a big crucifix on and I replied, “Carter, that was a cross that means he believed in Jesus.”

Without missing a beat Carter said, “I think I would like a ‘I believe in God necklace’.” Carter interchanged Jesus and God seamlessly and I did not spend a lot of time making a distinction for her.

“OK,” I said. Thinking that going to church might be rubbing off on her.

A couple of days later Carter and I were walking through Sears to get to another store inside the mall. Halfway into Sears we came upon a big jewelry display with lots of necklaces hanging on a spinny thing with an 80% off sign. I did not normally think of Sears as a place to buy any jewelry, but I thought it might be a good place to buy Carter the Cross she had asked for.

“Carter, do you want to look at these necklaces to see if you can find a “I believe in God necklace” you want like the Man at the bank was wearing,”

This seemed like a great idea to her. She looked intently at the many mixed metal necklaces hanging on the spinny thing and considered the many crosses carefully.

She gently took one off the display and handed it to me. I looked at and looked at it again.

“Carter, this is a dolphin necklace.” I said quizzically.

“Yes, it’s my I believe in God Dolphin.”

It all made perfect sense to her. So I bought her that dolphin necklace and she wore it religiously.

Give Your Mother and Early Gift for Mother’s Day

The best month of the year to learn Mah Jongg is April. The perfect gift you can give your Mom is to bring her to High Hampton to learn Mah Jongg. The new card is out and you will learn all the secrets and tips on the new card and have a whole year to get it right. If you are a beginner or a seasoned player I have a class for you at the completely renovated High Hampton in Cashiers.

I recently taught my first weekend of classes there and it was a truly magical place to teach and to learn. The room where the classes were held was comfortable and cozy. The staff was attentive and fun. The food was spectacular. And the rooms were luxurious.

I am never sure how a resort is going to do as the host for classes. High Hampton exceeded my every dream. The students came from far and wide and were a delightful mix.

I look forward to returning the last weekend in April, 25-27. The beginner class is being held in the morning so If you come from away, come the night before and enjoy all that High Hampton has to offer.

The Beyond Beginner class with be offered in the afternoons. The first day with be a new card orientation learning all the trick and tips for the 2025 card. The following two days will be hands on exercises to maximize your chances of winning through learning how to pick the right tiles to pass and picking the best hand. As always you will learn strategies to make yourself a better player and win more games.

Beyond Beginner is the class that teaches you how to think like a Mah Jongg pro. Most Mah Jongg classes teach you rules. This class goes beyond the rules to the strategies. No matter what level player you are you will never look at your hands the same way again.

This weekend makes a perfect mother daughter getaway or inspired early Mother’s Day gift.

If you want to join me in the mountains in April visit www.highhampton.com to make reservations.

Law Of Unintended Consequences

From what I understand from people who voted for the current administration, many were unhappy about the way things were going and wanted to change. I always say be careful what you wish for. So a change we got. We now have the disrupter in chief. Some say he uses disruption as a negotiating tactic. Fine if you are doing it on behalf of yourself, but for a whole country it has consequences.

I am in a Facebook group for Pawleys Island, basically because my parents lived there for 20 years. I had an office there with my Dad and spent lots of time working there. Not that we have a place there now, but I did spend my whole life going there, so I stay in this group. I have been reading a lot of posts from people complaining that their homes and condos have stopped being rented at anywhere the same rate they have been in the past.

These people are wondering out loud if this is happening to others and they don’t understand why it is happening. The response has universally been the same, all rentals are way down.

Now I don’t respond in this group. But what is happening is clear to me. For all the years I worked in Canada my clients and friends there would beg us to have meetings for them at our Pawleys office. They loved to come to Pawleys and Litchfield and the whole Grand Strand. They would fly in for the meeting and would then take another weeks vacation while they were there and play golf.

When the head of your country threatens your biggest trading partner and closet neighbor and friend with 25% tariffs out of the blue that pisses people off. What do pissed off people do? Stop coming to visit and spend money in your country. It does not matter that the trips were paused for 30 days. They still stay pissed off.

So for all those people who wanted a change, you got it. It is your loss of revenue, not the president’s. It is your state who will have lower revenues because of loss of tourist taxes.

Be careful what you wish for. You are the ones facing the unintended consequences.

To all my Canadian friends I send my personal apologies. Know I love you and would never endorse treating our best friend that way.

Nothing Burger

For all my readers who think I am so productive and get so much done today will make you realize how boring my life can be. It was cold today. Like so many Americans I was laying low after the Super Bowl, but not because I went to a party and over indulged. Just because everyone else was.

Then the rest of the day I cleaned all the toilets. I folded clothes that had been strewn around my room for a few weeks. I unearthed white dinner napkins from Christmas parties that had been washed, but not ironed and I ironed two thirds of them. I just got so bored ironing I could not be bothered to do the rest. I sent some emails.

I got in my soft clothes at seven and had to offload a bunch of things off my iPad so some new update could download tonight. It is ridiculous how much space a new download needs.

Other than that I have nothing to show for my day. I did make some new food for dinner so Russ would feel like I did something, but it was nothing special. Some days are basically nothing burgers.

My Super Bowl Thoughts

Russ is from Philly so we were going to be for the Eagles all day long. I am writing this in the third quarter so there will be no commentary on the game until the game is over.

I am here for the ads in the first 3 quarters. So far my favorite ad was the rocket Mortgage ad singing John Denver’s Country road. The line “Everyone deserves a shot at their dream” won the night for me. The visuals of all kinds of Americans is the story I was buying.

I feel like Brad Pitts Movie before the start of the game set the tone that American was made great by all kinds of people. “By lifting up others, that’s how we rise.” Hear that Washington. I also loved the NFL ad, “I am somebody.”

The grossest ad as the coffeemate ad. Don’t look it up.

The weirdest ad was the Pringles mustache ad. In all the years I have eaten pringles I never noticed the mustache on the can. Highlighting the mustache does nothing to make me want potato chips, in fact it does the opposite.

Mathew Mcconaughey’s ad for Uber Eats beat the door Dash ad for the best food delivery ad, but I am still going to go pick up my own food.

Meg Ryan and d Billy Crystal could recreate that scene from When Harry Met Sally all day long. Good job Hellman’s to get in on it.

I loved the Nike ad for women’s Sport, “You can’t win. So win!” Here that you bro’s trying to silence women. We aren’t going back and real men know that, are not threatened by it and love us just the same.

At last a word on the half time show. I did not understand a word of rap. I should have turned on closed captioning. I hope he took some shots at some bad people. I just don’t know what they might have been.

Thai Hot and Sour Soup at Home

One of the things I bought at Li Ming, was A jar of paste used to make Hot and Sour soup. So I made up a pot last night

5 T. Hot and Sour paste

3 quarts water

2 pints of straw Mushrooms

1 pound of peeled raw shrimp

Big bunch of sugar snap peas

4 small zucchini sliced

2 cans low fat coconut milk

4 t. Grated fresh ginger

2 T. Lime juice

2 T. Fish sauce

2 T. Brown sugar

3 T. Knoor Chicken broth powder

Mung bean sprouts

Cilantro

Rice

Chopped green onions

Put the water and the hot and sour paste in a stock pot and bring to a boil.

In a frying pan pan on medium heat brown the zucchini.

Once the stock pot has come to a boil add the mushrooms, sugar snaps, Knoor Chicken powder, shrimp and zucchini. Cook for two minutes.

Add the coconut milk, ginger, lime juice, fish sauce, brown sugar, and bring back to a boil. Then turn off the heat.

In a bowl put rice, sprouts, cilantro and green onions and Spoon the soup over.

Enjoy!

I went to Li Ming Today

It should come as no surprise I am not a fan of the idea of ICE detaining people who don’t look American. Before anyone bites back at me that they are only detaining criminals, you are misinformed and I don’t need to hear your propaganda.

I have lived in foreign countries, ones where I spoke the language and ones where I did not. Well, not well. Being an outsider is hard. It is less hard if you grew up with White American privilege. I fully understand the privilege I have just because I was born white, to married college-educated parents. My father was employed. I lived in the safest place and went to great schools. I am a WASP, so I never was discriminated against for my religion or where “my people” originated from. No one ever asked me, “where are you really from,” or “commented on my middle-Atlantic accent.” I never worried if we would have food, or if I would not have new clothes whenever I needed them.

If any of these things apply to you, you might also have white privileged and not really be able to understand the fear that Americans detained by ICE might feel. You may not have an American born child who worries that their foreign born parents will not be home when you get home from school. Or if you should go to your place of worship because ICE might be there.

I have very little power to do much about what ICE is doing, but I can support ethnic stores and show them that I support them, even if half the country does not. Today I went to Li Ming. They have great vegetables and wonderful Asian foods. I was the only Caucasian in the store. I don’t read any Asian languages so I always have trouble deciphering the ingredients in a jar. Putting myself in the shoes of what it must be like to be a non-English reader at Harris Teeter.

I also go to Hispanic markets and the Indian Market. I do this as a means of support for those communities. It is a small gesture, but one I hope helps in some way. I can’t change my white privilege, but I can show compassion, warmth and kindness to those who are newer to our country.

Unless you are Native American, we all got here because someone in our family came from away. Just because we might have come earlier does not make this country ours alone. We just get to live here and then, when we are gone it belongs to new people.

Newer Immigrants to the US are usually the hardest working Americans. If you ate a Salad today, you probably have an immigrant to thank for it, unless you grow your own lettuce. If you had a chicken salad an immigrant probably processed that chicken. Just remember that when the price of lettuce and chicken go through the roof because we don’t have people willing to do those jobs. I might grow my own lettuce, but I am not processing chickens.

When Mah Jongg Class Discovers Less Dana

I don’t usually tell my students about my blog. They have had enough of me after nine hours of class. But when a student announces to the class that they found my blog that is when the questions come.

I tell them that it’s called “less Dana” and then apologize that it is way more Dana than anyone bargained for. I explain that I have been writing it for almost 14 years every night before I go to bed. I don’t proof read, or edit, I just post because I just don’t have time to do something that is blog worthy and write a worthy blog. So I just write and post and it is what it is.

I am a horrible speller and I often use the wrong word. No one is reading this for quality writing. But I do try to add levity to the world, point out absurd shit, call out bad people, encourage kindness, share good recipes, explain complicated things in simple ways, share beauty and laugh at myself.

I am asked all the time, if I do things just so I would have something to blog about. NO. I literally forget I even have a blog sometimes, until I get into bed and then I think, “Oh crap. I have to write a blog. What happened today?”

I don’t write about everything I do, sometimes I have a big day and I don’t write about any of it, because it might be off the record. I might write about the most mundane thing or a big international situation. When you write a daily blog they aren’t all going to be that interesting.

Since my evening class was interested in my blog I took a photo of them and told them they would be in the blog. So here they are. My beginner class at CCC for February. They all graduated tonight. No one failed Mah Jongg. They were a wonderful class. Thanks for giving me something to write about.

My Lunch Bunch

I didn’t get a picture today which was a big mistake on my part. I am teaching at CCC all this week and my lunch bunch has come to have lunch with me everyday before class. Jill, Martha, Bit and Mary Jo all make my day shine brighter. Holly was supposed to be there, but getting ready for her family trip got it the way. I missed you Holly!

The friends I have made teaching are the jewels of this job. They come through for me when I need them. They make sure I am never alone. If I need a place to stay they take care of me. They cancel doctor’s appointments to have lunch, just not pedicure appointments.

We agree on many important issues and lament when the world goes wrong. I feel so lucky to have made these dear friends. Thanks for being my CCC Posse. You all are the best.

Mah Jongg is Hard at First

I’ve recently had a lot of students who came to me for Mah Jongg lessons, but they had initially learned from someone else. The someone else might have been a “teacher” or just a friend who said, “sit by me and I will teach you.” As I have been teaching them they tell me things like, “I never was taught this,” or “how could this have been left out when I learned the first time.”

Here is what I have to say about learning mah Jongg. Just because you don’t remember being taught something does not mean your “teacher” did not mention it. Learning mah Jongg is hard. There is a lot to take in. You might have been told something and at that moment you just could not handle remembering it.

I have learned that I have to mention many things over and over and in different ways before I am confident that a student might remember it. Part of being a real mah Jongg teacher is having a very precise use of language so that things are not ambiguous.

Learning mah Jongg is as much about the rules as it is about the exceptions to those rules. I find it is best to explain a rule and immediately talk about an exception if one exists. You can’t really teach someone how to play by letting them sit beside you and watch what you are doing because then the exceptions get missed. People construe rules from a situation that might not be true.

Building a foundation of understanding how to read the card and make hands is the best investment you can make. Just learning the rules will not make you a great player. Learning how to think about hands and how to make them is what makes someone an accomplished player.

And it all takes practice. You learn much more from your mistakes as long as you understand why they were mistakes. Just keep at it.

Welcome Back to The Food Bank Amy Beros!

You know I have had a 25 year long relationship with the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina. It started when my minister Haywood Holderness pointed at me one day and said, “We need you at the Food Bank.” He was on the board and recognized a kindred spirit.

So I did what he said, and got involved. I have had every kind of volunteer job one could have at the Food bank, from mopping the floor of the Durham Branch to being Board Chair.

One of my jobs on the board was in finding a new VP of Development when one of the best people in that job in a long time was leaving us. We did a nationwide search. It took months. I had lived through some terrible development people. I still know their names and their sins. I did not want to go backwards after having a good one.

My dear friend Felicia was also on this committee with me. Between the two of us we were tough on all the candidates. I remember being on a conference call sitting in my sunroom when we rejected all the finalists. “None of these people are good enough.” It had been almost a year of searching.

“These people are not as good as Amy,” who was a junior member of the team who, during the year of our search had grown greatly in her job. “I would rather take a chance on promoting her than restarting a national search and get someone else’s reject.”

Felicia was right on board with that. So the idea took hold of our group and Amy eventually got the big promotion. It was the best thing we had ever done. She turned out to be even better than her predecessor. She created a team of super stars. She was young, bright, hard working and dedicated to our mission and a really great manager.

After a few magical years she needed more to do. She took a big job at Feeding America. She got experience on the national stage.

This year when our President resigned after barely a year Amy was ready to come back. It was clear she was the right person to take the helm. Peter who had been the President for many years and Amy’s boss when he was there was a big cheerleader for her. So was I and Felicia.

So I am happy to announce Amy Beros is Back at the Food bank, now as the President and CEO. Congratulations to Amy! I know our state is in good hands.

Farewell to Dan Shannon

Today we celebrated the life of Dan Shannon. Dan passed away in September after suffering from a brain tumor that he fought valiantly. He left behind his loving wife Ellen, three fabulous kids, two grandchildren and one on the way and as Ellen told us, a trifecta of kids-in-law, along with so many other family and friends.

After only a few hours sleep I drove home this early morning because it was important to me to go celebrate Dan’s life as I adored working with him at Durham magazine. Russ and I arrived at the Carolina Inn to a packed ballroom of so many friends and family, many of whom had traveled far and wide to get there.

True to himself, Dan had planned his own service right down to the last word, which was his, read by Ellen. He asked three people to speak, Rory Gillis, who was just a very young woman who came to work at the magazines when I was there and now is the owner of the whole Shannon Media outlet, which she renamed, much to Dan’s chagrin. Rory was funny and sweet and told stories that made me laugh hard and tear up.

A friend of Dan’s from Westport spoke next, despite not liking to speak in front of crowds. Dan had asked him while he was still alive. The friend said he didn’t necessarily feel comfortable doing that. Dan told him to think about it. In the most Dan way, we called back a couple of days later and said “The family has decided, you’re going to be a speaker.”

“So much for getting to think about it.”

That rang so true to me. When I met Dan it was because he had called me into this office after the first issue of Durham Magazine came out. My friend Nata had told him he should hire me. I did not know this when I went to visit him. I thought he just wanted my thoughts on the first issue, which you know I gave freely.

I told him what I thought of the magazine he told me he wanted to hire me. After a short back and forth about me not looking for a job he insisted I work there. “You have no idea if I can write, let alone do anything else.” Remember, we had just met!

He said, “You have a strong voice. That is all I need.” I thought he might be hiring me to read the magazine out loud.

The last speaker today was Dan’s youngest, son Drew. Drew was a kid when I worked with Dan. We used to talk bout raising kids during those early years. It was beautiful to see how great Dan’s kids turned out. Ellen gets a lot of the credit, but being a father was clearly what was most important to Dan.

Russ and I had sat at the service with Matt, who had been hired as the chief Editor of the magazine a couple of years after I started. He was a kid. It took him a while to get that I had no designs, or skills, on his job. I watched him grow under Dan’s tutelage. Dan treated most of the young people who worked at the company like his children, since most of them were young enough to be his children. Eventually children grow up and move on.

Right after the service Matt and I went to the front of the room to see Kevin, the art director, who came to the company a year after me and stayed. Carl who was there before me and left before Matt, and Rory. Rory said we need a picture of the OG of Durham magazine. I wished that Bri our Photographer was there because she was there before all of us. I also missed Andrea who was the editor after Matt.

I am thankful Dan was good at gathering talented smart young people and one old one, me. We all did not always agree on everything, but I think we all learned plenty and I loved them all. Especially Dan. Go with grace Dan Shannon. It was clear, you were loved.

High Praise for High Hampton

The first time I go to a new location to teach Mah Jongg I never know exactly what to expect. If you know me you know I am very prescriptive, I like things done correctly and I want the best experience for my students so I don’t like to leave anything to chance. I have been teaching Mah Jongg long enough at such a wide array of locations that I have seen some real shit shows as well as the most class acts.

So many things are out of my control, yet if something goes wrong I still feel responsible for it, even if it has nothing to do with me. I have always lived by the saying, “don’t Expect people to be mind readers.” If I want something done a certain way I tell them up front and explain why. I don’t believe in wishful thinking, you are always disappointed then.

Today was our last day of Mah Jongg classes at High Hampton. From my point of view everything was a resounding success. The inn it’s self and the new renovations is spectacular. The spaces are large and warm and welcoming and cozy all at the same time. The room where Mah Jongg lived was perfect, especially with the table lamps.

The staff, from Emma the bellhop to Leigh Anne the Events Manager and all the Food and Beverage folks felt more like friends. Suzanne comments tonight that she genuinely felt like people were happy we were here. Everyone remembered what we liked to drink, right down to my extra lemons. If we were running short on time, they rushed to get us lunch. Nothing was ever an issue, there was no need for negotiation, the answer was always yes, with a smile. It was true southern hospitality with no “bless your heart.”

The food, oh the food. I am so thankful that I was here with dear friends, Suzanne, Jan and Tracy, because we shared all our food and ate off each other’s plates. Tonight we had this farewell dinner and I wish that I could have spread it out over three days because each part was a treasure. And don’t be misled by the title of the menu, no Dana Lange was served.

As usual, I loved all the students. It’s takes three days with me for them to drink the koolaid I’m selling. By the third day they understand the madness that I’m trying to teach them and why I want them to think about things in new and different ways. I have heard that some have already signed up to come back in April to my next class here the weekend of April 25.

I can’t wait to get back. Usually the second time is better than the first. I am to sure that is going to be the case though as this was also just a fun time with Tracy, Suzanne and Jan. We told so many stories and laughed so hard. I thought Suzanne might pee in her pants when Jan told the story of her middle school son telling his social studies teacher and class of students that their family motto was “It’s five o’clock some where.”

Tonight after all the mah Jongg was packed up and we were hanging out in the lobby talking Suzanne and Tracy gave me a present and a card. The front of the card said, “Get Old Later.” Inside Suzanne wrote, “This was our mantra way before it was a card.” That’s the truth. We will always be young together, learning and laughing is how we stay that way.

I’ve Created an Addict

I have been friends with Suzanne since 1979. If you are not good at math, that 46 years. I have been playing Mah Jongg thirty of those years. I have been teaching 25. She finally came to one of my classes. She convinced her friend Tracy Tang to come learn too. They have had two days of the three of Beginner lessons.

I left my room here at High Hampton at 9:00AM. I was not able to return until 10:30PM. When I wasn’t teaching, I was eating with Suzanne, Tracy and Jan talking about Mah Jongg or playing Mah Jongg with them.

When class ended at 5:30 Suzanne, who was not in that class, came right in my Mah Jongg room to start playing. We played past our dinner reservation. Eventually we went to dinner, but Suzanne was chomping at the bit to get back to the table.

She stood at the end of the dining room beckoning us to come on. We played and played. She learned every lesson the hard way.

She won the last hand. She is no longer a mah Jongg virgin. Addicted? Absolutely.

We Shut The Place Down

Mah Jongg Weekend at High Hampton is off to a roaring start. We had an excellent class of beginners who were engaging, attentive and brilliant. All things I love in students. There were more of them than we originally thought which worked out fine. We shall see how they do on their homework in the morning. I predict 100% from them all.

Between beginners and beyond beginners Suzanne, Jan and Tracy (who arrived this morning just in time for class) had lunch in the tavern. I must get a photo of the mountain we looked out at while we ate. It is a shear rock face rising up over the lake. Gorgeous is not a good enough word to describe this wonder.

The afternoon was for the students who know how to play mah Jongg to move to the next level. Each one of these ladies is a new student to me. They came from far off lands of Atlanta, Nashville, Birmingham and further afield. I blew more than a few minds with some of the concepts I was teaching them since they had never had me as a teacher before. I do wish there was a certification that is real, (not from a mah Jongg tile company) for Mah Jongg teachers. This is a completely unregulated industry to say the least.

The beyond class is my favorite to teach as it is teaching people how to think, not what the rules are. Perhaps I can make a dent in the number of players who play with blanks. If you don’t know what that means, it’s mah Jongg junior.

After class we had a wine reception. By that point I needed a down time reception, but a woman showed up who missed the first day of beginner class because she thought it started tomorrow. So I gave her a quick private lesson to try and catch her up.

Suzanne, Tracy and Jan and I had dinner together. The food here is exceptional. We all ordered this carrot soup that defies description beyond the word heavenly. The chef came out to see us and we begged him to make it again tomorrow. He said yes. I know what I am ordering.

Our dinner was a story telling fest. Suzanne wanted me to tell Tracy the story of how I met my husband. That is really six stories woven together with a lot of laughing. By the time we were done we were the only people left in the restaurant having sat there for three hours. I did notice that one couple who was seated at a table next to us quickly got up and moved to another table, perhaps offended by a story I was telling about Ron DeSantis. Not sure why they moved as it was clean. Not like most of my stories. I’m certain I was just too loud. You know how loud I am.

I promise I will get better pictures tomorrow, but I won’t be any quieter. For now I need for my extroversion to calm down so I can actually sleep. I have to get up and do it all again tomorrow. I can’t wait.

This is Gonna Be Great

Today was the big travel day to Cashiers, in the gorgeous NC Mountains. Suzanne and I had a slightly slow start as she got the clock mixed up between twenty after and twenty ‘til, but it was no problem. We picked up my friend Jan and my two friends finally met in person. They practically knew each other from my blog and facebook, given that they became Facebook friends way before they ever met.

We had a beautiful drive west. All of us like a good road trip. Jan picked our stopping point for lunch, the Veranda in Black Mountain. We were very interested in seeing how things had fared since Hurricane Helene. We saw plenty of giant piles of tree debris that were systematically being ground into mulch. I have a feeling if you pulled a truck up they would gladly fill it with free mulch.

The downtown of Black Mountain looks good so if you have been holding off visiting the Mountains I say GO! They can use the business and there is plenty to do, see and eat. We particularly liked these dish towels that were for sale.

We enjoyed a yummy lunch and Suzanne got a pimento cheese sandwich, which prompted her to ask us how to make pimento cheese. Thankfully Jan and I agreed on all the ingredients and techniques. Pimento Cheese can sometimes cause a rift in a friendship, but not ours!

We wound our way around Asheville, Brevard, Lake Toxaway and Sapphire to Cashiers and arrived at High Hampton. The guard was a little surprised to see us since the Inn was closed today. We are the only guests until tomorrow when they reopen for Mah Jongg Weekend.

We pulled up to the Inn and two woman came right out to greet us. They were very excited about Mah Jongg Weekend and quickly had all our bags and all the games out of the car. Once inside I met Leigh Anne who I had been talking with for months and her events person. For an Inn that was closed we had a lot of people waiting on us.

High Hampton was purchased by the BlackBerry Farm group three years ago and was totally redone. From the looks of the lobby we knew it was going to be gorgeous. Emma took us to our rooms, each one was more spectacular than the next. Emma explained how the old inn had communal bathrooms in the halls and when it was redone they joined rooms and put in en-suite bathrooms. These were not regular bathrooms, they are more like retreats.

Suzanne really liked the fainting couch in my room and took a little nap there while Jan helped me set up the Mah Jongg room. We also played a few hands while we were there.

Since the Inn was technically closed they sent us to a fabulous restaurant in Sapphire called the library. The food was special. We should have ordered one meal for the three of us the portions were so big, but we did enjoy tasting each other’s.

Now we are settled in for the night. The other students come tomorrow. We’ve got two big classes and lots of fun activities. It’s gonna be great.

It’s a Big Week

Today my BFF Suzanne flew in for a visit and a trip to High Hampton for Mah Jongg week. She had quite a journey getting here from New Hampshire. It should have been easy as they have a great bus that goes to Logan, but the bus had a little trouble. The driver took a google inspired detour through some tiny Massachusetts hamlets with roads made for a cart and donkey. The full sized motor coach clipped a cement barrier and tore off a lower portion of bus siding. Suzanne reported the last three miles had an awful dragging sound like a radio flyer was being run through a grinder.

Her bus was late. She ran into the terminal with a bag to check. Thankfully the agent told her the flight was delayed half an hour, and perhaps more due to the possible need for deicing.

That turned out not to be the case. The crew was late. Then the pilot discovered a computer glitch which took many more fifteen minutes chucks of time than he reported, the first two times. Eventually they took off without the need to deice because they sat their long enough for the weather to improve.

After all that she only ended up being two hours late. I think she had a whole day before she even got here. So we did what we do best, laid around and talked. Eventually we cooked dinner when Russ finished his day.

As all that got done by seven Suzanne and I decided to watch a movie. She had heard about the new Saoirse Ronan movie, The Outrun. It was really quite extraordinary and she is in every scene. We both loved it and wondered why is was not nominated for an award.

I am certain we will discuss this more on our travels this week. We have an early morning to pick up my friend Jan, who finally gets to meet Suzanne in person. We will be off to the mountains. It’s a really big week.

If You Are Cute and You Know It

Shay went for her grooming appointment today. This was her second visit with Rae at Bull City Dog Spa. Without ever looking in a mirror, Shay comes home and poses. She struts. She flaunts her new hairdo. Somehow she knows she looks cute.

Perhaps she acts this way because she feels better being so clean and fluffy. Maybe it is her new donut bandanna. Whatever, she is one proud princess.

When she wants to get picked up to get on my bed, she stands on the bath rug in my bathroom. Today her posture was a little straighter and she gave me the knowing nod. I practically could hear her singing, “I look good. na, na,na,na, na” in her best James Brown Impression.