Don’t Give Up

The poem, “The Paradoxical Commandments” by Kent Keith was printed in our church bulletin this week. You may know it.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway…

You can read it in the photo. You most certainly get the idea. I have heard this poem many times, but what I didn’t know is that it was written on the wall of Mother Teresa’s home for the most unwanted orphans in the poorest Calcutta.

It reminds me that no matter how bad something appears,you do not have to change your good ways to meet the bad times. Good and bad ebbs and flows.

When times are good most people think they will always be good and when times are bad most people think they will stay bad or get worse.

Times change and good times change faster than you think, and bad times change slower than you want. But change is always happening all around you. But you do not have to change your good ways no matter how bad times are. But you should change your bad ways.

I used to think that most people are good, but there are some very high profile bad people who have given regular people permission to be bad. I hope that karma catches up with the bad people. I still think there are more good than bad people. Being bad comes with its own baggage. Just like being good comes with its own lightness.

Please don’t let the darkness of our times change your goodness. The darkness will eventually change, but if you became dark with it it might be harder for you to change back.

Hurtful Childhood Games Reflect Real Life

I was talking to someone who had an experience where she was left out of a group and it did not feel great. I don’t think it was on purpose, but her feeling were hurt none the less.

It reminded me of something we used to do in preschool, which I hope they no longer do. In my pre school we would play “The farmer in the Dell,” And sing the song that went along with it. You probably know the song,

“The farmer in the Dell, the farmer in the Dell. Hi ho the Dario the farmer in the Dell.”

It started with a boy who was the farmer in the the middle of a circle, and the children in the circle around him would sing, “The farmer takes a wife, the farmer take a wife, Hi Ho the Dario the farmer takes a wife.”

The boy would pick a girl out from the surrounding children and she would then stand in the middle of the circle and the boy farmer would join the outer circle.

The “wife” would stand in the middle and the the children would sing, “the wife takes a child. The wife takes a child, Hi Ho the Dario the wife takes a child.” And the wife would pick another child from the circle who would now stand in the middle and the wife would rejoin the outer circle.

It went on this way with the children picking a cow, the cow picking a dog, the dog picking a cat, the cat picking a mouse and the mouse picking a cheese.

After the mouse picked the cheese, the cheese would stand in the center of the circle and the last line of the song was, “the cheese stands alone, the cheese stands alone, hi Ho the Dario the cheese stands alone.” There was something sad and shameful about being the cheese. You did not get to pick anyone else and you were left alone in the center. That was the end of the game. Not much of a game if you ask me. More of a popularity contest.

I told the person who was “left out” to remember what it felt like to be that one. No one wants to be the cheese standing alone. It may not be on purpose you were left out, or picked to be the cheese, but that does not matter in the end. So the best thing to do is to make sure you don’t do this to anyone else. Never let a cheese stand alone. Always be an ally to a cheese and stand with them.

The only way to change these long time situations of ranking people from Farmer to cheese is to not play these kind of ranking games. There is nothing redeeming about the farmer in the Dell, no one learns any thing, except a silly song. And for the record, I would always prefer to be the cheese than a mouse.

Dave and Cindy Come to NC

Months ago my college friend Dave asked us to go to a concert at Red Hat amphitheater when he and his wife Cindy were going to be in town to visit their daughter Deitra. Since Dave and Cindy live outside Pittsburgh we try and see them when they come to North Carolina.

We met for dinner at Poole’s diner which was as close as you could get to the the concert. They brought Cindy’s cute nephew Ed, who lives in Raleigh. (I want to introduce him to my young single mah Jongg students.)

We had a great dinner as you always do at Poole’s. The service and food can’t be beat and I was happy to introduce it to them.

We walked across the street to Red Hat and found our way to the lawn to find a place to spread out our blankets. The concert was 38 special and Kansas. Yes, those were bands when I was in high school, but not ones I really followed. Dave commented that he was glad everyone was not in wheel chairs, but a woman with a walker was sitting right in front of us. I am certain that in 1978 these bands did not think, “We are going to be doing this well into our 70’s and 80’s.”

Dave and Cindy are bigger concert goers than Russ and I are. It was sunny and warm and we talked through most of 38 special. That was about all the time Russ and I had since we had to get home to Shay.

Thanks Cindy and Dave for inviting us. We look forward to seeing you in December, if not before.

Wedgewood for Cheese

Russ is the most curious person I know. He follows the greatest diversity of people and places on instagram. He reads more publications than any human I know. He is a human AI.

Last week he invited me on a lunch date for today since today was the first day we both were free at lunch time. He took me to a new cheese place in Carboro called Wedgewood he had stumbled upon on Instagram. They sell cheese and have a little restaurant in the shop. It has been open a month. We weren’t exactly sure where it was based on the name of the street, but I said it sounds like it is near the car wash. Turns out it is on the side of the car wash building.

We entered the beautiful little shop and found that there were more people working there than there were eating or shopping there. This meant they had no trouble seating us at the counter. We ordered the cheesemonger’s choice of a cheese plate of three cheeses and a lox toast.

The cheese plate came first. It had a soft cheese called afterglow, a Brie and a third harder cheese. Some fig jam, a blackberry, half a strawberry and three Cornichon came on the flat tiny platter along with a bowl of more than enough yummy thin crackers.

The afterglow and Brie were fantastic. The third cheese was too waxy and lacked flavor. I let our server know that the third cheese was awful and they happily replaced it with a fabulous Gruyere. After we enjoyed those tiny cheeses our lox toast arrived. We each enjoyed the slice of toasted Baguette with a creamy spread, red onion, capers, dill and smoked salmon. It was a good salty four bites.

For dessert we ordered the whipped chèvre and fig jam toast. It was probably the best thing we ate. The toasted pecans and flower garnish made it as beautiful as it was delectable.

I saw they sold country ham and order four slices from the store side and brought that home to garnish the tomato pie I baked using two of the tomatoes from my friend Lee’s farm.

It was a very cheesy day. But a delightful date with my curious husband. We will be back to visit Wedgewood because Russ wants to try the French ham sandwich with French butter and cornichon on a baguette. I can’t deny the man a ham sandwich.

Don’t Stop Socializing

I was listening to NPR on my drive home from the beach today. One story that stood out was about how Americans spend their time now compared to just ten years ago. The big thing that is down is how much time people spend socializing. It’s down close to 30%. That is tragic, because ten years ago people didn’t spend an inordinate amount of time socializing.

I am so happy that what I spend my time doing is contributing to people spending more time together socializing. Mah Jongg is a great way to get to know more people and spend time with real humans. The thing about playing Mah Jongg is that it is non-partisan. You can play with all kinds of people and not fight. You have to pay close enough attention to the game so you don’t have time to think about any bad things going on in the world. So it is a true escape.

For me personally I have enjoyed making so many wonderful friends through teaching. Today, while in the middle of class, my friend Lee came into the room to drop off a bag of her her home grown tomatoes. She was not taking class, but knew I was at the beach and brought me that fabulous gift just because she is a dear.

I also had the pleasure of having lunch with my old friend Diane and her daughter Genie today. I had a one hour break between classes and went in the bar to have lunch and Diane invited me to sit with them. I first learned to play Mah Jongg with Diane 32 years ago. It was great to see her.

Making new friends at every age is so important. It keeps you young and makes you happy. It is also wonderful to spend time with old friends. The more friends the more socializing. That is good for your well being.

Oddity? Perhaps

I know my hearing is getting worse. I am sixty four and it might be time to start to get it checked.

Tonight I was sitting with my friend Kristi at her house after we enjoyed a nice dinner at Island Grille. I have had a wonderful time staying with her and we laugh constantly.

As we were talking I thought Kristi said to me, “You are an Odyssey.”

Not know what in the world that meant I asked her, “What is an Odyssey?”

She quickly corrected me. “An Oddity.”

Well, she isn’t wrong, but I kind of liked being an Odyssey more than an Oddity.

Time to get my hearing checked. I will still be an oddity, even if I can improve my hearing.

Nutrition Education Camp

I’m back at the beach for another week of Mah Jongg with sand. This week I am staying with my friend Kristi. Kristi is my own personal nutritionist. It never fails that whatever eating issue I am dealing with at the moment Kristi is going to be an expert in and help me.

Last year, or the year before last, (I can’t remember exactly when because I blocked it out of my memory), my doctor had me go gluten free to see if I had an issue with gluten. I was like a pilgrim religiously following a gluten free regime. Kristi has been gluten free for a long while and so when I stayed with her then she gave me a huge tour of all the best gluten free products. She saved me a fortune in not buying the awful tasting products.

My doctor finally declared after 11 months of no gluten that I was free to eat gluten again. Being gluten free did nothing for me, except make me mad that I couldn’t eat regular pizza. I was 50 minutes into my hour appointment when the doctor said that I could eat gluten again. I told her she really buried the lead.

The first thing I did was gather all the gluten free products I had and brought them to Kristi so I knew they wouldn’t go to waste.

So now I am trying to eat more protein and I mentioned to Kristi that I am having trouble getting enough protein. She jumps right into action and shows me three products she things will help me. One is a protein drink, another a yogurt and the third is a bar that she swears tastes just like thin mints.

So now I am going to drink a protein drink before I go off to work in the morning and she put a protein bar in my purse.

Coming to stay with Kristi is the best Nutrition camp I could ever find. I hope someday my doctor says, “I’d like you to eat more ice cream.” Then Kristi and I can go on a tour of ice cream parlors.

Bad Surprise

Russ brought the mail in tonight. He gave me most of it and he took a hand written envelope. He stood over me as he opened it and tons of tiny glitter circles fell out of the card that he pulled from the envelope.

“Stop,” I cried. “Don’t open it any further and out it back in the envelope without tilting it.”

It was mainly too late. Glitter covered the rug.

It was a thank you note from a college graduate we had sent a gift too. At this point in her life she should know you don’t mail anyone glitter. It is tantamount to mailing anthrax.

Please consider this a public service announcement and instruct everyone in your household not to mail glitter. I know that graduation is a time for celebration, but we celebrated you by sending a gift. Don’t assault us for doing it.

This glitter pretty much guarantees I will not be sending another gift too this person ever again. I can’t take the chance that glitter herpes will be sent to my house again.

Mah Jongg in Days of Yore

I have been playing American Mah Jongg over 30 years. I have my cards from all those years, although they are scattered around the house. I don’t think I could find them all easily. Apparently they might be worth something on the secondary market.

One of my darling students, Suzanne of Tallahassee likes finding friend’s birth year mah Jongg cards. She found the 1960-61 card along with 62, 63, and 64. And she sent them to me as a gift.

I was struck by how small they were. The ‘60-‘61 card cost .30¢. The first thing I noticed is that it used way too many flowers and hardly any winds. Then I read that the game used 14 flowers and 2 Big Jokers. They used stickers to change two of the flowers into jokers. There were also no hands of the year. I can imagine the frustration that came from playing that year.

So much of Mah Jongg hands have remained the same. The biggest change is we play with 8 flowers and 8 jokers. Now people of all ages are playing the game, probably not the same as 1960-61.

Thanks Suzanne for the wonderful gift. I can’t wait to study all these cards and see how many hands I recognize. This might encourage me to search for all my old cards and visit favorite old hands.

Teaching an Old Dog

I live by my iPad. I write my blog on it everyday. I play and teach mah Jongg using it. I read and write my mail and messages. Edit photos. Play my NYT games and report my scores to my gang. So when my only 3 year old iPad started running out of memory it became a nightmare.

I was constantly deleting photos and videos, messages and movies. I offloaded every app I could. The last few months have been a clean up extravaganza. Yet I still could not get ahead of my storage problem. I could not download software updates and my iPad was mad at me all the time.

How could my beloved hate me so much. I just wanted to write and post my blog with one simple phot and it would not do it. That was it. Time for an upgrade.

There are no words Russ loves to hear more than, “It’s time to go to the Apple Store.” So off we went today. I got a new bigger, literally, iPad. It is the biggest screen and a whole terabyte of memory. I don’t even know what a terabyte is, except if it were a food it would be as fattening as a whole chocolate cake.

Now comes the pain in the neck of learning all the things this iPad can do that my old one couldn’t. I never actually learn all the features. I am lucky if I can type. I do not like the case and keyboard. I am able to type just fine on the screen. Russ was worried that the bigger screen would mean I would have Trouble typing. So far the only real issue is the period is one key over and I keep typing the backslash. I’ll get used to it.

I’m an old dog, but I like tricks so I will try and learn them. For now let’s see how I do with posting my blog. Then it’s off to play mah Jongg. Some things are the most Important..

Resort Mah Jongg Classes at the Tides Inn

I am pleased to announce I will be teaching both Beginner Mah Jongg and Beyond Beginner at the Historic Tides Inn in Irvington, Virginia in October. There is no more fun way to learn or improve your game than doing it in a most beautiful setting with fabulous food and other fun activities.

The Tides Inn, under new ownership, has under gone a major renovation to both the outside and inside of the property. Located on the Northern Neck of Virginia on the Chesapeake Bay, it is the jewel of Virginia.

My classes will be the Weekend of October 24-26, but come the day before to settle in and enjoy the inn, and leave on the 27 so that you can make it a true long weekend of fun and play.

The Tides is offering an inclusive package which includes your room, meals and class or a package of your room and class. Both packages include two wine receptions with me. The wine is the draw, not me.

Tides is only 3 hours from Washington DC and an hour from Richmond. Make it a fun girls trip or just come on your own. There will be plenty of opportunities to make new friends in Mah Jongg Class.

Here is the link to the Tides Inn to learn more about Mah Jongg weekend with me.

https://tidesinn.com/irvington-va-hotel-experiences/seasonal-events/mah-jongg-weekend/

As always to find out about all my classes or to contact me about creating a class visit my website www.learnmahjongg.com

Winning a Hard One

There is nothing I love more than brilliant dedicated students. When I teach people more than one class I get a chance to know them, know how they think, what their likes and dislikes are and where they might be able to learn to think differently.

In Beyond Beginner the students learn not just from me, but also from each other as they discuss options and choices. This week’s class included a group of friends who play regularly together so they know each other’s favorite hands and neighborhoods.

Michelle likes to play closed hands which are notoriously more difficult than non-closed hands. It frustrates her friends that she not only plays them, but wins with them too. As this group is experienced I did not mind attempting more difficult closed hands with them.

Michelle pointed out a closed hand potential right from the deal and as the Charleston went on that hand became stronger and stronger, ending the Charleston with 11 of fourteen tiles. We only needed one flower and two different threes which could also have been jokers. We quickly drew a flower. Then one joker followed by another, winning the hand as a self picked Mah Jongg with 72 tiles still left in the wall.

I gave Michelle .60¢ for the win! It was exciting for the less experienced players to see how much fun trying for a harder hand and winning can be.

So Nice We Did It Twice

I basically teach mah Jongg just so I can have meals with friends and stay at friends vacation homes. Yes, I taught two classes today and those ladies were delightful, but the highlight of my day was my friends who come to see me when I was between classes.

I was scheduled to have lunch with Mary Jo, she invited Jill, which was great because I was not sure she was going to be down at the beach this week. Then Mary Jo invited Trina and Kay. With only a one hour lunch break it was not enough time to talk with everyone. So I did not get a chance to catch up with Mary Jo at all. Now I will have to call her when I am driving home tomorrow to talk about what we didn’t get to talk about at lunch.

After my Beyond class I did a tiny amount of fast shopping on my way to meet my friends at dinner. Ann had told me to go to Cecil and Finch and I tried on a cute dress that I loved, then I looked at the tag. It had been marked down to $29.95. I asked the sales girl if that could possibly be the price and she said, “absolutely.” What a great find.

I walked around the corner to Aqua and met up with Ann, Neppie and Reba for a redux dinner. We sat on the porch and had a delightful time. The best thing I ate was the amuse bouche which was a white bean, cabbage and carrot salad in some citrus cilantro dressing. We asked the server exactly what was in it, but were certain the answer we got was short a few key ingredients. I wish I had more than one bite because I would love to recreate it.

Ann and I came back to her place and talked too long tonight and I fear I am going to be short on sleep. I need to be sharp tomorrow for the Beyond class because we have not been winning enough games. Still fun and lots of good teachable moments, but I want them to win more too.

I’ll be back next week at Coral Bay. Come learn with me.

Work or Fun?

This is the start of my beach o’mah Jongg season. I have five different beach weeks teaching this summer. Usually I drive down to the beach at 5:30 in the morning to arrive in time to set up for a nine AM class. That is what I did this morning.

I had beginners in the morning. Then my friend Annette came and met me for lunch during my one hour break. It was great to catch up with her, but was much too short.

I had to get back to teaching at one for my beyond beginners. It is always a lively group in beyond as they are used to me and I had great players in that class.

By four I was worn out. I drove to my friend Ann Cherry’s who is generously hosting me this week. We had a good catch up time and then went to dinner with Reba and Neppie. So much fun was had at dinner and after three and a half hours at the table I finally hit the wall. It was a full day of nonstop fun even if half of it was work.

At least I can sleep until at least seven tomorrow. It will feel like I am on vacation.

Watermelon Gazpacho Heaven

Summer is made for cold soups. My favorite is Watermelon Gazpacho and it is the easiest. You only need a good blender.

1/2 a medium watermelon

1 1/2 cucumbers-peeled

1/2 red onion

1 large Jalapeño leave seeds if you like spice

15 cherry tomatoes

1/4 cup red wine vinegar

Juice of half a lime

20 basil leaves

15 mint leaves

Salt to taste

Put half of everything in the blender and blend. Put in a container and do it again with the other half.

Chill, stir and serve. Enjoy!

The Fathers Day Failure

Father’s Day is never properly celebrated in my house. I blame it on my mother who never had us do anything special for my father on Father’s Day. If he was lucky we didn’t make him take us to the riding club to and go swimming with us. Instead we would just tell him he could drop us off.

Consequently I did not make Carter do big things for her father on Father’s Day. Now my father is gone and Carter is not home so I am the only one around to celebrate for Russ, but he is not my father. So no card. No breakfast in bed. Instead he spent t the better part of the day on phone calls when I am sure he would rather have done other things.

On a normal Sunday I could cheer him up with a This Old House watch party, but the season is over so I don’t even have that for him. I did cook a little flounder for dinner and made artichokes, but nothing special.

I wish I could come up with a Father’s Day Jackpot that would make up for years of terrible Father’s Days. Maybe if I start now I can come up with a good idea for next year. But I realize we will be in the middle of wedding next year so it will be another overlooked Father’s Day.

For now I have to depend of Shay’s adoration of Russ to make him feel special. I just want him to know that I think he is a superior father as his only child turned out to be a great person, in spite of mistakes that might have been made by her mother.

Happy Father’s Day Russ. I’ll keep practicing and one day I’ll get it right.

NO KINGS DURHAM WAS BIG

Russ and I ran into our friend Amy at the farmer’s Market this morning. “Are you protesting?” She asked. And I replied, “I am always protesting.”

Then she invited me to our friend Michelle’s house to make signs before we went to the Durham NO KINGS protest. We didn’t have a lot of time, but we made signs and went downtown. As we walked to CCB Plaza Amy said, “I hope we have like 1,000 People.”

“I am certain we will have more than 1,000.”

There were between 5,000 and 10,000 people there. There were great signs. And all peaceful. We marched from the plaza down Rigsbee street and back up Foster. The march was about eight blocks each direction and it was packed.

I got over heated and am so thankful for our band of friends who got me water, and fanned me with our signs and rolled up my pants. I drew the line at taking off my shirt which Amy tried to Get me to do by taking hers off in solidarity. I figured I did not need people protesting me being shirtless. Thanks, Ann for being a great nurse, Jamie, Michelle and Amy for being great fanners and Leighton for Water delivery.

Mostly way to go Durham for turning out! WE ARE THE PEOPLE! Don’t forget how we got this country. We will not allow it to be stolen from us.

My Week Off

When I plan my calendar I do it almost a year in advance. I know that I take six weeks off in August and September and I usually take the whole month off for the Christmas holidays. If I don’t decide this up front I would schedule too much and then I would never have a break.

This year I was so busy from January 1 until last week I really didn’t take any time off. So I purposely gave myself this week off. I figured I needed it to do important work around the house. I have a big list of things to do that somehow never gets worked on. When better than a week I don’t have to go anywhere, even Raleigh.

So I did go to the dentist and get my mammogram and other medical stuff. You know the appointments you have to plan well in advance. But then did I even look at my list? Absolutely not.

Instead I have been binge watching Sex in the City and all related movies and shows and trying to finish my needlepoint chair seat. After I watched the first episode of season 3 of “And Just Like That” my TV just started in on season one of Sex in the City and I went with it. I realized that I had never actually watched the early years. Carter was a baby and I am sure I was so far from Carrie in NYC at that time.

I have relived the nineties, aughts, teens and twenties all in one week. I am still stitching away with just this bit left. I put a magazine in the photo to give you are reference size as to how big this canvas really is. Thankfully I have less than half a magazine left. So it’s back to binging and stitching and not getting anything else done. It was a nice week off, but I have felt very guilty just watching and stitching.

“Mother Nature Wants to Droop”

No truer statement was ever uttered to me during a mammogram. As a well endowed woman of a certain age there is not much I can do to reverse what has already happened.

Regardless it is important to get your yearly squishing no matter how much it hurts. The flattening of the the breast between the plexiglass plate and the machine is not the worst thing. The holding your breath through the pain so they can get a good imagine is the worst part. I swear my tech makes me start holding my breath more seconds before hand than are necessary.

Thankfully I did my part well enough that I didn’t have to have extra pictures taken. I will now wait for the results. Don’t put off getting your annual squishing. I had two friends this year with breast cancer who are both clean now thanks to early detection and good medical care. But if you don’t get your mammogram you won’t find it early enough if it is going to happen. Pray it doesn’t happen, but if it does, fix it fast.

A Little Brown Dog and Her Blue Baby

Shay has a preference for blue stuffed dogs as her lovey of choice. She has big blue dogs and little blue dogs, but they are all blue. If you take her in a pet store, she picks out the blue dogs. Not pink. Not red. Not Brown or Camo. Always Blue.

She has five or six blue dogs in her play room. She has one is Russ’ office and one on our bed. Most are missing a squeaker. Most are missing some if not all limbs. Some are missing the majority of their stuffing. But she loves them all equally.

Her bed blue dog makes the perfect pillow. She loving it snuggles with it when she isn’t snuggling with us. Why she likes blue? We will never know, but blue is her color of choice. Don’t tell me dogs can’t see colors because Shay certainly can.

A little brown dog with a little blue friend. She knows they look best together.

Ahead of the Trend

I have never been a follow-the-trends kind of gal. When everyone was getting a perm I said, “Not me.” When everyone was collecting Bennie Babies I said, “Not me.” When everyone was roller blading, I said, “Not me.” I have never been a follower, nor did I care what everyone else was doing.

Now apparently all the things I like to do and have been doing for decades are the hot things to do. I had more than a few students send me a screen shot from the Today show of what are the Hot trends of the summer.

Mah Jongg is the the top event category on Event Bright, up 345%. Next is Needlepoint, up 41%. That is really something because Needlepoint is not easily an event. The third trend was Baking Events up 38%.

Today I played Mah Jongg, while needlepointing, while cookies were baking in the oven. All my activities are trending, but none were events. I played mah Jongg online, while trying to finish the third chair seat for my mah Jongg table and the cookies were for a funeral at church tomorrow.

At 64 I am now hot. It just took waiting around for the rest of the world to catch up to the things I like. When they go out of favor I will still be doing them.

If you want to learn to play mah Jongg visit my website, www.learnmahjongg.com

You can be hot like me by the end of the summer. If you need help with needlepoint I can do that too!

The Whole City Send Off for Holley

I don’t think I have ever seen so many people at one funeral in my life, but it was no surprise. Duke Chapel was packed with everyone in town and many from out of town who came to celebrate the happy life of Holley Barnes Broughton. Those in the know wore bright colors as we were instructed. Thank goodness so many did because it would be hard to explain why I had a bright pink and green dress on at a funeral.

Jan picked me up and thanks to her husband’s Duke parking tag we were able to get into good parking easily. We sat in the fourth row surrounded by friends. Every where I looked I saw friends.

Holley had planned everything and it was so Holley. We sang and listened to a beautiful Homily and sang some more. At one point I was overcome and had to sit down to sing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot and Will the Circle Be Unbroken.

By the time the service was over I was dehydrated. I could not stand outside in the sun and hug people too long so Jan took me to get some water and then suggested we needed ice cream to toast Holley. So that’s what we did.

Paul and the children did a great job of honoring sweet Holley. I can only imagine how exhausted they must be. I pray that everyone who was a witness to her life takes the flame of kindness she lit out into the darkness. Holley was one of a kind, but we can all emulate the sunshine she exuded, even if just a little.

Farewell sweet friend. I felt you through the whole service. You will never be forgotten.

Baltimore, What Happened?

Our tiny family reunion happened in Baltimore. That is where Carter’s flight came into. So we booked a hotel and drove up and met her. My best college friend grew up outside Baltimore. She got married there. I spent plenty of time there back in my younger years. When I lived in Washington DC I used to go to Baltimore regularly to visit my customers there. It was in the 80’s when the Inner harbor had been built and Baltimore was doing well.

Then came Camden Yards, the downtown ball park of the Baltimore Orioles. Baltimore was doing well. Yes, it was not perfect. There was crime, but downtown had workers, residents and visitors.

When Carter was in elementary school we went to Baltimore to visit the National Aquarium and spend the night. Baltimore was good. In Middle school we stopped in Baltimore on our way home from Maine and visited the Under Armor store and eat some good Seafood. Baltimore seemed good.

We drove in yesterday. We stoped at a market for some lunch. The homeless people out numbered the patrons by 3:1. Stores were boarded up. The streets were dirty.

We went to our hotel. One we had stayed at before. The hotel itself was fine, but the buildings around it were empty. Beautiful buildings. Ones from the 20’s, 30’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and so on. Empty, with graffiti on windows or the plywood covering windows. There was not much traffic as there was not much to do.

We did not let the city keep us from a great visit. He holed up in the hotel having a great time. We dressed for dinner and decided to walk the half an hour. It was daylight out. We felt relatively safe as we’re were a group of big people strong people.

As we walked the most direct route we eventually came upon the first store front businesses we had seen open. Four sex shops. The run down kind of places that looked like they had been there since 1965 with no improvements. Only the drug addled bouncers who stood in the door ways looked newer than 1965.

We rounded the corner and continued our walk eventually coming to the waterfront district where there were some going concerns. The Four Seasons Hotel and successful restaurants. Not as much poverty or homelessness that was apparent not far off.

The prosperous area was small and felt like it was tenuous as so many beautiful buildings lay fallow close by. A city on the way down takes decades and strong will to turn around. Also good luck and great leaders. I pray that Baltimore has all that and can come back from its decline.

I know wonderful people who live in the area. I know Baltimore can do it. It’s still called charm city.

Tiny Family Reunion

We were supposed to be at a family reunion for a Cousin’s 80th birthday this weekend. Sadly there was a little health emergency and the party got canceled. We hear good things about recovery and we are praying for the best.

Since this was a planned in advance party that we were going to see Carter at, we were all sad that we were not going to be together. So at the last minute Russ, Carter and I decided we would have our own tiny nuclear family reunion.

We are in a secret location together for 24 hours. No real plans. Just being together and a good place for dinner. We are having a wonderful time and I will be less cryptic about it tomorrow.

The Scene that’s Even too Awful for the Movies

The scene is two grown women having a slap fight. You know the kind in the movies where they have handing flapping at each other, not really connecting, like two big birds flapping their wings at each other. They screech at each other and throw out horrible insults. It’s embarrassing and childish.

Now imagine those women are really two men, acting the exact same way. Arms flailing, hands sissy flapping, calling each other names. It’s not the movies, but what we have come to in America and everyone is watching. And everyone is laughing. Not with them, but at them.

They are two pitiful girls, hurling insults at each other like middle schoolers. And I mean no insult to middle school girls. You can’t make this mess up and a mess it is. The break up was predicted, but the flinging of insults happened faster than even the screen writer could have written.

Please can we have some grown ups who are not on drugs step in and be in charge? Where are these big babies Mommies? It’s time to put them in time out.

Growing Misfits

I went out to the garden tonight to cut some basil for dinner. I did a cursory look around and found a yellow squash ready to be picked. It was a Mama and baby fused together. Perfectly good to eat, but if it were at a farm it would be rejected for sale at a grocery store.

Then I noticed two very long and skinny, and spiny cucumbers. Had to pick those too. They were so prickly my fingers got stabbed. They are also so thin. They never would make the grade at a store. But despite being ugly and downright hurtful, they make the grade at my house.

Farming is heart breaking. It is hard to grow perfect looking food. But why does it need to be perfect to look at if it is perfect tasting? A yellow squash with a tailgater will not even be recognizable once I cut it up and cook it. A girthless cucumber, once peeled and chopped will make delicious gazpacho. The good news about those thin cucumbers is that they can’t have too many seeds yet.

It is best to not judge a vegetable by its looks, just like we shouldn’t judge our friends by their looks. Beauty is great, but being more than just beautiful is what is important.

Your Plan Might Not be The Plan

There are some days when you just have to go with the flow and pivot. This is a skill I really only got good at later in life. My younger self was much more programmed and scheduled. And if something got in the way of the plan I would not be happy.

Now, if something changes I try and see it as an opportunity to do something new. This morning I had on my calendar to take someone to an appointment. Turns out they changed the appointment and right as I was about to pick them up they told me. No problem. I had gotten up early and called and texted to confirm, but when it didn’t happen I was not upset. It just meant I had more free time in my morning.

Then a big weekend plan changed. The change was not for a happy reason and I am hoping that everything works out. But the weekend plan was canceled. So rather than mope we made a new plan. The first plan was going to be great, but since it can’t happen we now have a back up pivot plan, which I think will be great.

No reason to lament, just make the most of the situation at hand. I so wish I had learned to do this earlier in life. Understanding that your plan may not be the plan and that the new plan might be just as good or even better just makes you happier.

Just Navy

When Russ and I first bought our current house 31 years ago we were the youngest people on the street. Russ was not yet 30 so technically he was the youngest. Soon after we moved in an older to us couple moved into the house across the street. They were in their late fifties, renting that house while the husband got a graduate degree from Duke for fun.

They were from Texas and still spent lots of time in Texas as they had young grand children. I can’t remember their names, but they were very nice. The wife did not work and since I was working in Canada and London going back and forth I didn’t have much time to get to know her.

The one thing I did notice is every time I did see her she was wearing Navy blue. She had dark hair and pale white perfect skin. Sometimes she wore white with Navy Blue, but always Navy.

I mentioned this to Russ one day. He also commented that her Mercedes was also Navy blue. So I started to keep track every time I saw her and I can say without a doubt I never saw her without Navy on.

Fast forward to tonight. I was getting undressed from class and hanging up my dress in my closet. I tend to put the thing I just wore in the front of the closet as I don’t really have a system. I looked at the sleeves of all the clothes in the front and noticed every single thing was blue, most with white.

I had turned into my nameless neighbor. No need to think about what I am wearing. It will be blue and maybe white. I think it makes life easier to just have a color. When I travel I just take one color and white. Everything goes together and you only need two pairs of shoes. One blue and one white. That Texas woman was really smart.

Writing from the Grave

My cousin Ward sent me an article today with the subject line, “your father was a visionary.” It was an article from something called “world atlas” of the nine best towns for retirees in the south.”

The reason Ward said my father was a visionary is two of the places were the places my father retired to, Litchfield Beach, SC and Danville Va. Well he didn’t exactly retire to Danville, just a mile outside the state line, but close enough to Danville.

I don’t know a thing about this World Atlas site, but when it mentioned that the pluses for Danville included that it had once been the capital of the confederacy and the Roman Eagle Retirement home I thought, obviously no writer visited before making this list. I am not sure putting the confederacy on a pedestal is a good look these days.

Nonetheless this is not the best examples of what a visionary my Dad was, more like it is a message from the grave from him that he wants us to remember he was always right.

Since we are going to a family birthday for my father’s youngest first cousin this weekend I am certain some stories will be told. We will be missing all those cousins of my father’s who have gone to the great beyond, but happy to celebrate Harry, who at 80 is the youngest.

Wish my Dad had left a toast for Harry. Maybe Ward will find a fitting post from the internet that sounds like my Dad had written it. Stranger things have happened.

I Don’t Give a Fig

Some years ago I bought a fig plant at the farmer’s market. I planted it in a corner of the driveway bed. It grew and grew and after a few years we got some figs in August. Then we had a year with no figs. I read up on figs and learned I needed to prune that baby back in the fall. So I took a saw to it and cut the branches way back.

The next year it grew and grew and we got some figs. Again in August. I begged friends to come take the figs. They didn’t.

Last year we got a dozen or so figs in early summer, but the bulk of them came again, in August.

So this year we have have hundreds of big figs right now. None have ripened, but if they keep growing without ripening they will be the size of baseballs. Now, with the unripe big Figs we have thousands of new babies growing on the same branches.

I have no idea when the early figs will be ready, but I bet the new babies will be ripe in August. So this is your notice that come August you need to come pick some ripe figs. Don’t pick them when they are still hard as a picked fig will not ripen. Also don’t get the sap from the stem on your skin as it can be an irritant.

I have no clue what makes this plant work as it changes every year. Now I am just hoping for cherry tomatoes from those plants. They are so much more useful than figs.