Stretching When Describing Amenities

Russ follows the local Owl’s Head news, not just during the summer when we are here, but year round. Summer news is different because of summer people like us, but winter news is the most interesting to him. Russ knows what is going on with the library and when the pie sale is being held. He keeps up with the young owners of the Owl’s head General store and knew when they had their baby early.

The news he follows also covers what is going on in Rockland, otherwise there would not be enough news to warrant even a monthly edition. He likes to read the real estate listings because the non-water front or water view properties often have colorful descriptions.

This week there was a new tiny house, right on Main Street, not far from Owls Head, that came on the market. When Russ mentioned it to me, I knew exactly which house it was because a sign had gone up in front of it.

Two bedrooms, one bath, just under 900 square feet. The second sentence in the description is the one that really caught Russ’ eye. “Close and convenient to the fish market, butcher, grocery …”

We discussed at length that never have we said, “What is most important to us is that we can walk to the fish market.” In fact, it would usually be the opposite. “I really don’t want to live within smelling distance of a fish market.”

It is also curious that this new listing mentions the butcher second, because the butcher has gone out of business. The grocery store is more like a bodega. I’m sure if you don’t have a car you could survive on what they sell at that grocery, but you could never begin to afford the fish store. I can hardly afford that fish store. I drive up to Rockport and go to their fish store.

But if there is some pescatarian looking for a cozy little cottage, with no water views, but all the fish they can buy, there is a tiny house, with a few new windows available for you. The listing doesn’t say it, but you could walk to the bakery if you wanted a nice stroll. Better smells at the bakery than the fish store.