Visits

As I am going away for six weeks I wanted to have some visits with Durham friends I am going to miss while I’m gone. I started my day with Christy and Mary Lloyd. I then went to lunch with Lynn and ended the afternoon with Jan and her daughter Kim coming to see me on their way back to the mountains.

Jan had her second Chemo treatment yesterday and Kim went with her. It was a long day as they did not get into a treatment room until more than an hour after her scheduled time. Jan is doing great. They predicted her hair would fall out weeks ago and she still has it. She has buzzed it short so when it does fall out it won’t be big clumps.

She told me it has started to fluff out, but I told her she had more hair than I have without chemo. The good news is she has a really nice shaped head. I told her so since she can’t tell from the side.

Then tonight I had a multi hours long call with my friend Tricia who I haven’t talked to in ages. One call leads us into the need for three of four more calls since she is trying to make the world healthy. There is just not enough time in the day to keep up with everyone. What’s it going to be like when I get home in six weeks?

Making a List

I have a big road trip planned. Shay and I will be traveling up the east coast together. We have about eleven days on the road before we go to Maine. Planning a dog road trip is a much harder than a human only trip.

Shay has already approved of her new dog safety seat which was a birthday gift from my father in law. She sits up high and can see out of the window while being harnessed in. That makes me more comfortable. So the car travel part is checked off the list.

The harder thing is her eating. She is picky on a good day. She will eat fresh chicken, but prefers steak. She will not be getting steak on this road trip. I will bring Chicken and that means I have to keep it cold. To ensure that happens I have to have a refrigerator every night with a freezer to refreeze her ice blocks. Oh the planning that goes into traveling with Shay.

The good thing about taking a trip with her is I make sure to stop and stretch our legs more often than if I am driving alone. I know I need this too so stopping for her to go potty will be good for me.

So my list of things to bring for her include, water bottles she can drink out of, towels and wipes for clean up, plastic eating bowls with covers, cooler, ice blocks, medications, food, extra water, poop bags and trash bags.

I have not started the list I need for myself. Maybe phone and keys will be enough.

The Happiness Shot the Olympics Brings

I purposely took this week off from teaching so I could get prepared for Maine and my pre Maine trip. What I did not realize is I was also going to be home with access to many TVs to watch the Olympics.

So today I altered the dress I am wearing to the big wedding in New Hampshire in 12 days, while watching the Men’s Gymnastics. It is hard to sew and watch the vault. If you blink you will miss it. So I watched more than I sewed.

I also watched the American women play the Chinese women in volleyball. Not the best outcome, but a very exciting match. I missed the women’s basketball because it must have been fast.

All this highest level sport and the world’s best commentators is such a nice break from politics. The honesty in the competition is so refreshing. I used to take it for granted, but the last eight years with the professional liar getting so much attention has changed things.

Please can we go back to agreeing that there is a difference between facts and opinions. You can still have an opinion, but you can’t change the facts.

I am going to do my best to watch some Olympic contest everyday until it is over because it just makes me happy. I don’t get bummed if the winner is not American, but celebrate the triumph of the winner, wherever they are from.

We have 99 days until the election, taking 14 out to watch the Olympics won’t change anything.

One Smart Puppy

This weekend we had guests. Shay usually thinks all people who come to the house come for her. She was excited to greet the friends at five. She showed them around and accepted the love she was shown.

Six is her normal dinner time and Russ made sure she was not let down. While the humans had dinner she hung on her bed Russ placed beside him in the dining room. After Russ finished eating she demanded to sit on his lap with her head on the table.

By 7:30 she was not happy we were still at the table. She came up to me and started demanding my attention. It was time for her to go up to her home base, our bed. She wanted to herd me up there.

Russ picked her up up and carried her up to bed like a toddler who had stayed up too late. We never heard another peep from her until Russ and I came up to bed at 11:45.

We came in our room and found her snuggled on our bed with her head buried to shield her eyes from the lights that were left on. She didn’t wake when we got into bed. This baby knew when her bed time was and she made sure to get her beauty sleep.

I don’t blame her. I have not gotten enough sleep all weekend. After our friends enjoyed breakfast with us they got on the road and I watched the men’s basketball game on the Olympics before going to teach mah Jongg.

I came home to Shay wanting to herd me up to bed. I am going with her tonight. I think she knows when we need sleep. She’s one smart puppy.

Mini Dickinson Reunion

I’ve got fifteen minutes to write and post this blog. We had a little Dickinson Reunion of two of my best friends, Doug Soder and Dave Harnish and some of their family members.

Doug and Penny just moved to Pinehurst which makes us very happy. Dave and Cindy’s daughter Deitra is coming to NC State in the fall for graduate school and they came to see the school and visit Cindy’s nephew Ed. So they all came to our house for dinner tonight.

We had great fun and it was wonderful to be together at something other than a funeral. Doug and Penny are spending the night because we knew it would be a long party and it would just be too late for them to go home.

Even though everyone came at 5:00 we stayed up talking until almost midnight and I had not written my blog before they got here.

I did have the forethought to get a group photo of as all at the dining room table. The only problem is I have not learned how to use my new phone to take photos. Even the young people Deitra and Ed were not much help in teaching me, so here are the series of what I got.

Deitra did take a photo of Doug, Dave and myself so we can send it into Dickinson. We look forward to lots more North Carolina reunions now that we are getting a critical mass in North Carolina. Suzanne and Janet, you need to come next time.

Olympic Break

Any minute now I am going to begin that two week period where I become an expert in so many sports and ignore everything else on earth. I think it is fabulous that the summer Olympics come in the same year as our presidential elections.

This pause in other news gives us a chance to celebrate what is great in the world and stop arguing. It makes us focus on young people who have spent a lifetime perfecting something. We learn the stories of athletes from all over the world and how they came to be Olympians.

I love following underdogs from small nations. I love learning the ins and outs of obscure sports. I love the honesty of Olympic Sports. I pray for no intrigue and no cheating.

I love the human interest stories and getting to see the beauty of the host country. I love Paris and can’t wait to spend two weeks immersing myself in all things Paris 2024.

How Did America Turn So Mean?

So much for any unity or civility. I watched A clip from a Trump rally in my home state of North Carolina. “I’m not going to be nice,” Trump said. No surprise to me. A tiger doesn’t change its strips. It wasn’t Trump or his statement that bothered me. It was the meanness coming from the crowd. Here in the genteel south.

Last month I listened to the Supreme courts ruling about towns being able to tear down homeless encampments and prevent people from sleep outdoors in public places. Yes, no one wants people living outside, especially if it is next to your house or on your walk to work, but making it illegal to sleep outside without an alternative for these people is just mean. Now for a large percentage of our nation mean is Ok.

I can sometimes be mean. I was not very nice to someone earlier in the week. I thought about it and made amends the next day. Now I am working to try and help that person. I felt better trying to help than I did being mean.

I am dismayed when people I think of as half decent repost things on Facebook that are just mean. Then I read who else liked it and who else commented in the affirmative. These are people who would have died if they were considered anything but nice ten years ago. Now they are outright, publicly mean.

Why did this become acceptable. Just because Trump has talked this way for so long, should not give you permission to also be mean. Mean is easy, it’s lazy, it’s not smart.

I would like to bring back a little more public civility and a little less meanness. Tearing up an encampment of a homeless person just takes away what little they have. It just sets them back even further. It makes all the burdens of living without that much harder.

I would like to encourage anyone reading this to just try and be a little nicer for the rest of the year. I am going to try myself. That does not mean I won’t write about things I think are just wrong, but not in a mean or cruel way. Maybe it’s time America tried to be a little more like Canada.

Big Moves

While I am at the beach for my final night of teaching here this summer, Carter is at her Boston Apartment for her last night on Beacon Hill.

I have had a great summer teaching on the coast, five times in the Morehead/Atlantic Beach/Beaufort area. Twice in the Wilmington area, once in New Bern. I know it’s only July 24, but soon I’m off on other adventures. I am ever grateful to all my hostesses who make coming to the coast so fun. This trip I am with the sweet Kristi Blizard. She organized a fun girls dinner with Ashley, Sarah, Susan and Terry. Thanks to these dear Mah Jongg friends.

Carter is in Boston preparing to make her first move without any parental unit help. She has lived on Mt. Vernon St. in Beacon Hill for over two years now in her darling fifth floor walk up apartment. It was a fabulous place, on the best street, if you ignored the steps.

Now she is moving further from the capital, which sits one block from her apartment, out to Dorchester to move into a two bedroom with Claire and Norman. It is a big move to a building with conveniences she is most excited about, like central air, a trash room, assigned indoor garage parking and more space, but mostly Claire and a great dog.

This will be the first move she has made all on her own. She booked the movers and sold half her furniture, donated old clothes, packed up her plants and is ready to go.

I am so thankful she is not moving on August 30 as the whole city of Boston moves that night and is homeless with all their belongings for a night awaiting September 1 rentals.

I can’t wait to visit Carter and Claire in their new place in August. We will miss Beacon Hill, but we love Claire so it is a wonderful move.

Good luck with the move. This is big time adulting now.

Women, Your Vote May Save Your Life

For my young life I was a Republican. I came from republicans. They were white, college educated and lived in the suburbs. I didn’t think a lot about it as a child and a young person. I was just going along with what was the norm in my family.

Then when I was in my late twenties, my youngest sister came out. I had known she was gay since she was five. She was always the best sister, smartest one in the family, best student, athlete and person. About that time Rush Limbaugh was gaining prominence and Republicans were starting to be mean. The “Moral Majority” as they liked to falsely call themselves started to have opinions about anyone who was not sis gendered, straight, white, and rich enough.

Suddenly there was a party who did not see my sister as being equal. My college and MBA educated, business owning sister could have fewer rights because she was born liking women more than men. How is that even an issue? She was successful, employed lots of people, paid lots of taxes, yet you think she should be forced to be unequal.

This is how I was driven out of the Republican Party. I could not support a party who did not think all people had the same rights. Anyone who is related to a gay person or treasurers a gay friend should decide if voting for Trump/Vance is worth what might happen to your loved one.

Now let’s just talk about women. Not gay women, but all women. Trump/Vance is as anti woman as a a pair of candidates can be. JD does not believe women should have control of their own bodies, he does not believe in no-fault divorce making women stay in abusive marriages, and does not support child care so women can work. These policies are from the 1950’s, 75 yers ago!

I am not sure how any women or any man who loves his wife, daughters and grand daughters can support these men with these policies. They are not hiding the fact that they want to change America and make the lives of women very different.

Now if you personally want these policies for yourself, you are free to stay in an abusive marriage, and let men make decisions about your health care and not work and stay home with your children. No one is saying that you can’t do those things. I am asking that you don’t let a political party make those decisions for everyone else.

Republicans used to truly be for small government, meaning let people make their own decisions and not the government making them for you. It was a different party. That is not who the party is now.

For my daughter I can not let the government take away her rights that women faught to get. Once rights are taken away they are very hard to get back. You don’t have to tell your husband who you vote for, but if you don’t vote for yourself who knows what else you might be losing.

Physics and Civics Lesson

Today I was trying to drive home from Chapel Hill and I got to the intersection of Chapel Hill Rd and Garrett Rd and I saw a giant river flowing down Garret road. Cars were trying to forge that river. I knew better and did a u-turn and went another way.

We had a giant deluge today. This after lots of rain in the last few consecutive days. The ground is starting to fill up with much needed water again, but when it comes big and fast it has no where to go. This is an act of God.

Decades ago my friend Doug Soder told me a most important lesson his father taught him. “You always buy the house at the top of the hill. There is nothing you can do about water. It always flows down hill.”

This is a lesson lost on those who live on the down hill side. They often complain about water flowing on to their property. The statues concerning water are very clear about who is responsible for water. They say that the lower estate must receive and pass the water from the higher estate.

The reason for this is gravity which is a law of nature. Water is going to run down hill and there is not a lot you can do about it. The one thing you can do is have as many permeable surfaces as possible.

I live on the high side, but water still runs from one side of my property to another. I have a gravel driveway which helps slow the flow of water, I have landscaping and mulch for the same reason. But water is always going to flow down hill. People on the top of the hill are not responsible for the water flowing down the hill. That is the end of this physics and civics lesson. You cannot blame the people at the top of the hill when water flows down hill no matter what that water does when it goes downhill.

Thanks Joe

Two weeks ago I was at the beach teaching. The big discussion was what was going to happen in the election. It was post the debate, pre the shooting at the rally. I went to breakfast with two dear friends, one red and one blue. The red one, who I love and adore, asked me what I thought was going to happen.

I said, “I think Biden will drop out, but not until after the Republican convention. It does no good to give Trump that time to figure out what he is up against.” I followed that up by saying I was not blogging about it because I am just tiny bit superstitious and did not want to jinx it from happening.

That night I also discussed this possibility with the friends I was staying with. We all agreed that both candidates are too old and not good choices and the best thing that could happen would be to have a new, younger, choice.

Today I was teaching mah Jongg from 1-4. My watch kept blowing up, but I could not stop to see what was going on. Towards the end of class one of the students told me why she had kept looking at her phone. It was general excitement on all our parts.

Joe has done an extraordinary job. He has gotten more done in four years. He steadied the ship. He got us through the pandemic. He renewed our standing in the world. He got infrastructure money passed and has started rebuilding important bridges, roads, and transportation hubs all over the country. He brought American manufacturing jobs back and ensured that America can provide vital parts with the Chips act. The stock market is up, inflation is coming down, wages are up, especially for the lower and middle class. Crime is down.

Joe deserves credit for all these things and now he has done the selfless thing of dropping out. Something rarely done in the world. Most people do not recognize their own decline. Trump certainly does not recognize his. He can hardly put two sentences not on the teleprompter together. It is pure selfishness for him to run, but then again he is doing it to try and stay out of jail. September and Judge Merchan are coming.

For all those people who said they would not vote for Trump or Biden because they both are too old, there is a new choice. It’s time to save America from the project 2025 fascist plan. It’s time to save democracy.

For those who vote Red because they think it will better for their personal fortunes, the conservative Moody’s analytics said that a Trump win will be very bad for the economy. Trump added more to the debt and not because of the Pandemic, but to give tax cuts to the rich.

And then there is the issue which needs to stay at the top of all women’s’ and those who love any woman minds, protection of women’s health care rights. Trump and the ones in his pocket are at war on women. We must not allow these men to continue to try and take women’s rights away.

Thanks Joe for all you have done. Finish strong and hand a good country off to Kamala.

I Like My Old Thing

I don’t buy new things just because. If something I have works, I am keeping it. First because I already know how to use it and second, why add stuff to the planet if I don’t need to. I keep cars a long time, I keep phones and electronics forever and I keep shoes until they fall apart.

I still have, and occasionally use the same stereo I had in college, with the addition of a cd player three years later. I have all my old albums and CD’s. I wish I had the cassette tapes I made when I would record the Casey Kasem top 40 every weekend off my original realistic stereo my Dad gave me when I was 10.

I have five half sheet pans I bought in 1983 for my catering business and I use them weekly still. I know I bought them for $5 each.

I have had an IPhone X for the last seven years. I still have it, but recently the memory was getting filled up and it kept telling me it couldn’t save a photo or download mail. I cleaned everything off that phone I could, but the system data kept filling up.

I went so far as sleeping with the IT guy in hopes of his fixing it. Even Russ couldn’t he get it fixed. So off to the Apple Store we went. The genius cleaned out my Safari cache, I write that like I know what it means.

It made little difference. So Russ told me it was time for a new, bigger memory, bigger camera, bigger everything phone. I had been holding out for the 16, but I said I would give in for the 15 pro max. Pro Max sounds redundant.

Since I did not want to import any issue my old phone had, I am manually reloading my apps. This is one of the reasons I didn’t want to get a new phone. I have to unpair and re-pair everything. I have to remember all my user names and passwords for banks I rarely go to.

I am yet to take a photo with my much better camera because the only thing I want to take a photo of is the phone and it’s not so good that it can take a selfie of itself.

I will be happy to have this new phone for the wedding we are going to next month, but I don’t think it will fit in my evening bag. This might mean a new purse is required. Not good, I have a beautiful one I bought 25 years ago.

I got a new car this year,that was a hard enough change. Now a new phone. I may have to go lay down. So much to learn how to use. Now I have to sleep with the IT guy who bought me this phone.

Sitting in the Dark

No rain for a month and a half and now we have had big rain multiple days in a row. This afternoon we had a deluge. Wednesday when I was driving home from the beach I drove through that kind of rain you can’t see through. I put my flashers on and slowed down, but not to the five MPH that some people did. People, if you are afraid to drive in big rain, please pull your car off to the side of the road. I don’t want someone to rear end you because they didn’t see you until it was too late.

Today I was home doing some deep cleaning. That means I polished TV screens until they gleamed. I had he robot vacuum running from room to room as Shay watched me use a q-tip in the crevices of baseboards. Trust me, it’s satisfying, even if it uses a bunch of Q-tips.

As the robot was running around the sunroom and I was picking up dog toys, I heard a pop. The electricity went out. The rain was coming down so hard that I could not hear all my many neighbor’s generators come on.

Thankfully the robot was able to keep cleaning until the battery ran down. I decided it was too dark to continue my baseboard work. Shay headed me up to her home base, our bed. She feels safest there, but she really shouldn’t since it is on the top floor.

It wasn’t that windy so I was not worried about a tree coming down on the house. My phone was at 50% and my iPad 68% so I opted to play a game on my iPad that did not need connectivity. Without power our signal booster is out so we get the pitiful one bar and no WiFi.

Duke Energy texted they knew the power was out and predicted it would come back by 6:30. We shall see.

At least we are filling up the ground water. It is going to rain some everyday this week. I guess I need to be charging everything at all times. Especially the vacuum.

Post Script: I wrote this while the power was out. I got a two texts at the same time at 6:19. The first one said the power would be back on at 9:45. The second one said the power was back on. Since I didn’t have any lights on when the power went out I didn’t notice it was back on. Thank goodness the first text was wrong.

Goodbye Bob Newhart

The funnier someone is the smarter they are. There can be smart people who are not funny, but there rarely are funny people who are not smart. Of course there are lots of kinds of funny. My favorite is dry, droll, ironic funny. Bob Newhart was that kind of funny.

He never raised his voice. He did sometime make fun of someone less brilliant, but often in a way that the person did not understand was a slight, because they just weren’t smart enough.

As a child I never missed an episode of the Bob Newhart show as I certainly was always home on Saturday nights, either with a babysitter or being the baby sitter. My sister’s were a little too young to “get” Bob’s sense of humor, which is sad, because they certainly would have loved it.

Most people think of themselves as funny. Actually most of them aren’t. There is hardly anyone as funny as Bob Newhart. He will be greatly missed.

The Best Recipe

When I was in boarding school I had the best roommate, Nancy Mack. Nancy had the best Mom, Jane. Jane was a superior Mother, Doctor, and Baker. I was always in awe of all that Jane did. She worked full time as the pediatrician for a whole town. She raised five children and kept Nancy’s Dad, also a Doctor, in line.

Sometimes she would just pop up to school and take Nancy and me out to lunch and then leave Nancy a tin of homemade snickerdoodles.

These snickerdoodles were so far superior to any other cookies on earth that we would talk about them long after they had been consumed. Since I had a mother who not only did not bake or eat cookies I especially appreciated Jane.

Today Nancy shared her mother’s hand written recipe. She said it is too good not to share. So I share it with you, with Nancy’s clarifying notes. I did ask Nancy what her mother meant by “shortening” and she confirmed it was always Butter.

So do yourself a favor and bake these cookies. I wish Jane were still alive so I could run a batch by her to get her opinion. I am going to have to make some next time I see Nancy so we can have them with milk just like we did at Walkers. They are a happy memory.

Figure Eight At Last

Thanks to Margie Springer, we brought Mah Jongg classes to Figure Eight. I love expanding to new beaches and new clubs. Margie asked me in February and she made this happen. I had 19 great students today for day one and tomorrow we add more for the more advanced play lesson.

Margie has been kind enough to host me at her beautiful house with her husband and son Curtis as well as her sister Caroline. Margie and I played Siamese Mah Jongg after I finished class and she won plenty.

Then we went back to the yacht club for dinner. It was during dinner that we discovered we both had great grandfathers in Charlottesville, VA at the same time in the early 1910’s.

After dinner we came back to their house and play Mexican Train Dominos. This is my kind of game playing family. Thanks to Margie for getting Mah Jongg going at Figure Eight.

Do you have a Rising Junior or Senior in High School?

I have a brilliant friend, Kristin Hiemstra. She is a super women, coach, leader, TedX speaker and fabulous college counselor. She worked for sixteen years in college counseling in the Chapel Hill school system. She went on to do more adult and organization coaching, but has found herself drawn back into college counseling.

Not all schools have the resources necessary to provide kids with the kind of help they need to figure out what they are interested in, what might be the best path to get there and what is realistic for them given their strengths.

Parents are not always the best judges about their own kids. Oh the horror stories I have heard. The parents who insist their little darling is Ivy League material, so they encouraged that child to apply only to the Ivies, not to get into a single one.

Or the parent, fearing costs, discourages a well qualified candidate to dial back their choices because they don’t know how to manage to money side of higher education.

I knew one family whose child was miserable in math, only apply to a business program at big university where he was qualified for a different program, but not business. He was rejected and ended up at a much lower standing school because it was the only business program that would take him with such poor math scores. If only he had known he could have gotten into a general studies program and taken business courses to see if he even liked them. The end of the story is he dropped out of the business program because it was not where his interest or strengths were. If only his parents had a third party work with the kid to figure this out before wasting two year’s tuition with nothing to show for it.

My friend Kristin is that person to talk with. Her college counseling business is called the Art Of potential and that is exactly what she teases out of high school kids to help them on their journey.

You can find Kristin on Linkdin or I am happy to put you in touch with her. She can work remotely so you don’t need to be close to Chapel Hill. She’s the real deal.

The Elephant in the Room

Yesterday’s tragic shooting at Trump and the supporters who were hit is not the way we solve public discourse. I am thankful that so far everyone has said the obvious, “We condemn political violence.”

Biden has called for us to bring the temperature down. I pray that everyone does that and it comes from all sides.

What I have not heard is any talk about why anyone needs a rifle powerful enough to shoot 400 yards with great precision. The 20 year old shooter apparently had his father AR style weapon.

I have long been an advocate for gun control. Other countries do not have these kinds of shootings as they have common sense gun laws. We have an out of control number of mass shootings growing every year.

I hear from friends abroad who say they won’t come to the US for vacation because they think it is too dangerous. I can’t blame them when we have a mass shooting on average more than one per day. Averaging over 500 per year.

Now that Trump has been shot at and hit by an AR style weapon, I wonder if his stance on these military style guns will change? You can’t hunt with them, unless you are hunting people.

When will we ever have the guts to change this in America?

Processing Tomatoes

I bought this one box of Roma tomatoes. Usually when you buy a box of tomatoes the top ones are the beauties and the bottom ones are the dogs. Not in this case. Every single one of these tomatoes was perfect!

I started by making two tomato pies. Then I made a giant pot of tomato sauce. I used my largest Dutch oven and put in 30 tomatoes and two giant sweet onions. Cooked it for five hours and when it was all said and done it was two quarts. But it is beautiful, especially since I put in my fresh basil which has flourished when everything else failed.

Lastly, I cut 18 tomatoes in half and seeded them and slow roasted them in the oven with some olive oil and balsamic vinegar. I just turned the oven off after four hours and are letting them sit in the oven until tomorrow.

All that cooking and I still have one third of a box of maters left. I will probably roast all of them since that is the least amount of work for me. Once roasted they can be frozen to make into sauce, soup or other ingredient in a future concoction.

Those were not the only tomatoes I bought. So we will be eating BLT’s tomorrow and anything else I can think of with tomatoes.

I also made a nectarine, cucumber and tomato salad today that we had for lunch with burratta.

We had tomato pie and corn for dinner. Outside of bacon, I can not think of when we might eat meat again. We have a few more vegetables to get through.

Storage Management

I need a new phone. My storage keeps getting full. Apple is going to stop supporting mine. Outside of those issues it is perfectly fine for me. I wouldn’t get a new phone otherwise.

Here’s the problem. Russ says I should wait for the IPhone 16 since it is going to be such a big departure from the 15. I would like to have a new phone when I go to my best friend’s daughter’s wedding, but the timing is not right. So I will go with my old phone.

My old phone still takes great photos, but my storage is full. I keep deleting things and it fills right back up. I hate that I have to have apps to get into museums. I don’t need the app, just let me buy a ticket and come in.

People send me videos. I watch them, but forget to delete them. Someone how I mistakenly store them. I can’t tell you how many times I mistakenly take a screen shot. It gets stored. I listen to books and they are stored. Phone management takes up way too much of my time.

What I really hate is as soon as I get a new phone they will announce what new features will be on the next one and I will want those. I won’t succumb to getting a new phone every year just to get what little improvements have been made, but I do wish they would wait a little more than a year before releasing new and improved phones.

It’s not social media that takes up my time, it’s storage management. UGH!

Just Buy the Tomatoes

Russ let me know that my tomato plants have suffered catastrophically from weeks of heat. If it is too hot the plants won’t fruit, but more than not just getting tomatoes, my plants are suffering.

I am going to have to put them out of their misery this weekend. I might cut some way back and see if they can recover, but the idea of getting tomatoes from them seems futile.

With that news from Russ, I stopped at a farm stand on the way home from the beach today. Beautiful tomatoes for $2.75 for slicing and eating. Tomato pie is in the future. Even better was the box of Roma tomatoes for $25. I will be making sauce and soup and dried tomatoes this weekend.

Gardening is heart breaking. Supporting a local farmer is actually cheaper than trying to grow things and fail.

It’s too hot to spend a lot of time in the garden. Being in an air conditioned kitchen processing vegetables someone else grew is fine with me. At least I am not worrying about fighting the squirrels.

No Mah Jongg Emergencies

When someone calls me desperate to get into one of my Mah Jongg Classes I always say there is no such thing as a Mah Jongg emergency. Today my class for the Coral Bay Club, which is being held at the Carteret County Culinary School while the club is being rebuilt, had an emergency drill.

The life flight helicopter was making a scheduled landing at the school so that the emergency training class of teenagers could get a look at it, along with some ambulances and fire trucks.

We loved just taking a break to watch it come in and go on and get our class photo with the helicopter. It was not a Mah Jongg emergency, but a few students to suggested that I could use a helicopter to travel between classes. I was not opposed to the idea, only the cost.

I could have used a copter this week as I have been teaching class in Morehead in the mornings and then again in New Bern in the evenings. I have been getting back to my friend Jill’s house in Atlantic beach at 9:30 each night. Tonight she waited to have dinner with me which was so sweet.

We have been staying up too late every night and before I left for New Bern she said, “Tonight we are not going to stay up talking so late.” Here it is 11:30 and I am just writing my blog because we stayed at the table on the porch over an hour after we said, it’s time to go to bed.

I think we could stay up all night talking, but we have that pesky class in the morning. Sleep really gets in the way of having fun. I still need to have some wits about me to teach tomorrow or we might have a real Mah Jongg emergency.

It’s Not the Class, but the Friends

It has become apparent to me that the only reason I teach Mah Jongg classes out of town is to get to visit friends I have made through Mah Jongg. Last week I taught two classes in places I don’t have friends and so I stayed at hotels. It was miserable.

This week I’m teaching at the beach and in New Bern. It’s not ideal as my New Bern class is in the evening so I drive back and forth getting back to the beach at 9:30 at night. The saving grace is I am staying with the darling Jill Gammon and she invited Martha Crampton and Bit Hardy to stay and go to class with her.

I have had more fun with these ladies in the little bit of off time I have between the morning class and the time I have to leave to go to New Bern. The bad part is when I get in late at night we stay up talking and don’t want to go to bed.

Tonight Jill had dinner for me when I got back of the most delicious Salad Nicoise I have ever eaten, including ones in France. The four of us could easily solve all the problems in the world, if only people listened to us.

I know it’s a lot to have me come stay, but it is so much fun for me. I hope it is at least half as fun for them. Class is great, but I love the visiting so much more. Now if only my extroversion would turn off so I could go to sleep. We all stay up too late and I have to get up early to go teach first thing in the morning.

New Bern, Can We Have Some of Your Rain?

As I was driving 70 towards New Bern, I could see it. Off in the distance of this sunny, blue sky day, Rain. It was grey ahead, and getting darker. The trees on the side of the road separated me from the really dark grey. I was driving parallel to the river, now the rain highway.

I had come from Durham. Yes, we had some rain this weekend, but not enough to green anything up. We are still short due to four weeks of no rain. The ground is 100° baked hard. What little rain we got rolled down hill.

Now I was driving into a storm I was desperate for, but at home. Sure enough, just before I got to my exit to go to Trent Woods the rain came hard. Quickly huge puddles formed on each side of the road. Sign that this was not their first rain.

The neighborhood was flooded. Volunteer lakes sprung up in yards. Lucky ducks, and tomatoes and lawns.

I pulled into a little park, as I was early for my class and watched as a mother bird supervised her chicks in a bath in their newly formed baby pool in the grass. The tiny birds, splashed like toddlers in yellow boots. The mama found a worm pushed up from the saturated ground by the new deluge forcing the worms to float.

Rain sure makes me happy. Now, please go on up to Durham. Our Mama birds need you too.

Cooking for Others

There is one thing I can do, it’s cook. I always told young people to learn to cook, you use that skill everyday. I don’t cook as much for myself as I do for others these days. Russ is always coming up with things he wants me to make for him. It’s a good thing he likes leftovers because I am not good at cooking small amounts. I figure, make it once eat it three times, OK maybe five.

It seems like a lot of my cooking lately has been for others. I have been baking cooking for funerals at church. Or cooking meals for friends who need them. This is the kind of cooking I like to do.

For my friend Jan I have to think about the kinds of foods that are good for Chemo. No Beef as it would have to be well done. Not too much raw stuff. Not too caloric, but tasty.

Today I cooked for my friend Holley, who has ALS. She is at the stage where swallowing is not working so all her food is through a tube. I made things that are already liquid, but also food for her family that is not. The difference in cooking for Holley is trying to add as many calories in as small a liquid as possible.

I got to have a great visit with Holley and her husband Paul. Paul said the vitamix can liquify anything into a Holley palatable form. We joked about the industrial sized Duke’s Mayo and what it can be added to. My suggestion was liquified pimento cheese.

Cooking may be a small thing, but it is my outward expression of love to the friends who need it. Holley seems to be craving a cheeseburger casserole. I think I can whip that up and Paul can run some of it through the vitamix and keep some whole for himself and their daughter Wheezie.

Anything Holley and Jan want is my motto. I’m not near John Cadigan’s family up in Massachusetts to cook for them, so I hope other’s are doing it. There is nothing better than not having to think about making a meal when you are grieving. Leave the cooking to your friends. And friends, the cooking is your love.

Make Sure You Have Carbon Monoxide Alarms

Early this morning I was woken from a really good dream by the sound of my phone texts going off. I have my phone silenced for everyone except for Carter. When it kept going off I was quickly awake and looked to see six messages from her.

She and Claire are visiting Claire’s parents and they awoke to five alarms going off in their house and the fire engines arriving. Turns out a golf cart that was plugged in emitted something that made the alarms go off.

I am so thankful that Claire’s parents have a good monitoring system and it kept them all safe. I am sure no one was happy about being awake at 5:30 in the morning, but thank goodness they were.

Please check that you have CO monitors along with your smoke alarms. They need to be loud to wake you because Carbon Monoxide can disorient you before it takes you out all together.

With houses being more energy efficient there is no place for carbon monoxide to escape. Stay alive and get out if your alarm ever goes off, that is as long as you have one.

Our House at 30

This morning Russ asked me if I knew where we were 30 years ago today. I correctly guessed that this was the first night we slept in our house. We made an offer on this house on a weekend we visited Durham in April after Russ picked UNC for business school.

It was our second trip to North Carolina to look for houses. The first house we bid on was in Chapel Hill and that did not go well, so we moved on to Durham. It was a good move for us. Our Chapel Hill realtor was not happy about showing houses in Durham so she basically only showed us Hope Valley. We looked at every house that was on the market.

One house in New Hope Valley had a kitchen island the size of an aircraft carrier. I could not figure out how you cleaned the center of it without crawling on top of it. Needless to say it did not make the short list.

The house we bought, where we still live, had a big lot and a tiny house. It had been built by Mr. Harris, the President of CCB, a local bank, as his retirement house. He and his wife lived here for over thirty years. The second owners were a couple who did not live here long as she got run out of town for having relations on her desk at work with a donor. We never met her, only him and I was certain he was more attracted to men and that was perhaps why she got it at work. (That’s all the information I will give you.) They only lived here a couple of years. For years people still referred to our house as the Harris House.

So now to us. We were the youngest people on our street. We didn’t know anyone in Durham, but we quickly found so many nice people. Our across the street neighbors, the Admiral and Mary Teer Outlaw had us over for drinks right away. They told us who everyone in Durham was starting with themselves. It was like an old southern movie. So every time I met someone in the neighborhood I never let on that I already knew their back story.

In those early days it was me and Russ and our dog Beau and three cats, Stormy, Charlotte and Chappy. I never would have guessed that we would still be in the same place 30 years later. Things have changed slightly, as we doubled the size of the house and added a daughter and new dog years after we lost all our original pets.

Now that daughter is grown up with a place of her own in Boston. We are no longer the young people. In fact, we are the second longest term residents of our street. We have seen a lot change, especially the prices. It has been a great 30 years. I think we still have a few more to go to beat the original owners as longest residents. Thankfully I think our house is now thought of as the Lange House since most people who knew the Harris’ are dead.

Happy Anniversary to our house. As Russ said, “30 years ago today boxes were moved into the attic that have never been opened.” I asked him if we should ceremoniously get one out today and he said, “ Not in this weather.” We might have to do it on the 30 1/2 anniversary.

July 4th Reflection

Happy July Fourth! My wish is that all Americans want a free country today and tomorrow. Russ has been watching the UK elections and the results are still not final.

As we spent so many years living in the UK we hold it fondly in our hearts, but are glad we don’t live there now. Russ mentioned that since Brexit there has been no foreign investment in the country. Without immigrants the economy has not grown and they don’t have the tax base they need to keep up services.

The idea that natives wanted to keep “others” out of their small island and return to some fictionalized time has been a failure. There are not enough workers to do the low end jobs that keep a country running. Without immigrants there are not enough lorry drivers, farm workers, health care aids, dish washers, construction workers, line cooks, meat packers, rubbish collectors, outdoor maintenance people, house cleaners and the list goes on and on. Without those immigrants working jobs and paying taxes there will not be enough in the coffers to cover health care and retirements for pensioners. We would do well to learn from their mistakes.

Undoing Brexit is much harder than enacting it was. Even if the UK loosened immigration it is hard to attract the right people to come to your country after you have treated them badly and thrown them out earlier. It may be too late for us to learn from that mistake.

Isolationist policies have never paid off. The greatest times of growth are when there have been free and fair trade. We need others to buy our goods and to get that to happen we also have to be open. What British goods are we buying right now? We need to learn from them.

An uneducated electorate often chooses short sighted, short term choices to things they are unhappy with. Being staunchly proud of being uneducated does not serve anyone in the long run. Educate yourself on how countries with isolationist policies are doing. Then decide if that is the way you would like your country to go.

It will be too late to change when we don’t have workers doing the jobs we need. It will be too late when Social Security is underfunded because we don’t have immigrant workers paying into the system. It will be too late when you want a home health care aid to come take care of you because you can’t take care of yourself, and none are to be found.

On this Independence Day remember we were founded by immigrants. None of the founding fathers were native Americans of more than a couple generations. Unless you are 100% Native American you too are a descendant of an immigrant. Never forget that.

You Are A Store

Recently I stopped into Whole Food with my friend Jan to grab lunch. I got the salad bar and went to the coffee bar to get an iced tea. There was no line and the barista was standing at the ready.

I ordered an iced tea with lemon, my go to order forever and ever. He looked at me from beneath his hair net and said, “We don’t have any lemons.”

Not missing a beat I replied, “You do, you are a store.”

By then another women joined my line of one, but stood to the side of me. Jan was on the other side of me in front of the goodie cabinet of baked goods, trying to look like she was picking between the almond croissant or the morning glory muffin. I knew she was actually taking in all the reactions to my comments.

Before I could continue the lemon conversation the barista volunteered he could add lemonade to my tea to solve the no lemon problem. I agreed to that compromise. Then he told me he had to make another drink first, for some invisible customer. It was a complicated coffee drink that inexplicably involved him adding a non-dairy form of milk in small drips and stirring vigorously between each drop.

Finally he got to work pouring the premade tea from a pitcher he retrieved from an under-counter refrigerator into the cup of light ice. The line to my side continued to grow and the women next to me was displaying a humorless posture.

The Barista started to search for the lemonade in the under-counter refrigerator. He didn’t look long or hard and quickly stood up and announced he didn’t have any lemonade. I withheld my obvious comment that “he did have lemonade, since this was a store. He just didn’t have it right there.”

Instead of that comment I suggested they stock lemons since they sell tea. That was when he volunteered that they had done away with lemons during the pandemic.

“That was many years ago. You need to tell management it’s time to bring them back.”

At this point Jan had stopped pretending to look at the goodie cabinet to get a continuous good look at the humorless women next in line who was appalled by my suggestions.

I was appalled that this barista had been working there since the pandemic and had not learned make drinks faster and how to provide any obvious customer service when it came to selling iced tea. For goodness sake, this is North Carolina, in the summer, lemon is required with iced tea, just as ice is required. Someone could have gone to the produce department and solved this problem. Apparently no one besides me realized that the Whole Foods is a store. They sell lemons in this store. Don’t tell me you don’t have lemon.

Take Care of the Living

Yesterday I got a message from my friend Lilea, whose sister Stori was one of my closest friends in boarding school. Lilea is the one you contacted me when Stori had her fatal horse back riding accident. Yesterday’s message started with, “I have some sad news…”

Stori’s husband John was found dead on his front porch Sunday. It was numbing to read. How could this be? My heart immediately broke for Sam, Stori and John’s only daughter. Sam is just 26 and has lost both her parents in less than two years.

Since Stori’s passing I had heard from John every few months to talk about Stori. He was heart broken and just wanted to talk about her. I was always happy to do that. Now I wish I had reached out to him more.

Today I got to spend the whole day with my friend Jan as she continues her breast cancer journey. She has had a miraculously successful double mastectomy. I say successful because she has not had much pain and has a nicely healing scar. Unfortunately she still needs chemo.

The chemo starts next week, so today I went with her for her oncology appointment, her chemo training and her operation to implant her port for the chemo treatments. My most important job was a to distract her when she got her IV needle inserted. I am an expert on this front.

Jan is a trooper. Her positive attitude serves her well, but I was at the ready in case she wanted to be like the rest of us and have a pity party. No such thing happened.

She got through everything like a champ and even did the unthinkable and brought me a little gift and a keeper of a letter. She knows not to give me a gift!!!

I will be starting up a new meal train for Jan for the Chemo weeks. If you want to be included in the providing meals let me know. We are just starting with the first round and will judge from their when she will need help. Most likely on the day of Chemo and then for a week a few days after Chemo as those are predicted to be the bad days. Then she gets two weeks off before her next round.

Between the passing of Stori, my dear college friend Hugh, now Stori’s husband John I am feeling like I need to do a better job of keeping care of old friends. Jan is one of my first friends I made in Durham, and one of my best friends going on 30 years. I can’t afford to lose any more old friends. I am not live long enough to make new old friends.

Please reach out to the ones you love. We have to take care of the living.

Shay Goes Out To Dinner

It’s a very good day when Shay gets invited over to her friends the Pottenger’s house for dinner and she is allowed to bring us as her +2. Dave and Sara Pottenger’s beloved dog Brady was a cousin of Shay’s and is the reason we have Shay.

Sadly Brady crossed the rainbow bridge two years ago. So Shay needs to visit the Pottenger’s to give them their labradoodle fix. Megan was there too and Shay made sure to snuggle with her.

Shay is so spoiled at the Pottenger’s. She was allowed to put her head on the dinner table. Megan texted a photo to her sister Tatum and Tatum texted back that Shay needed her own seat at the table.

Love our dog, love us. Well our dog loves the Pottenger’s just like we do. We all decided that we should always have dogs in every meeting because it lowers the anxiety. Perhaps dogs should be required in Congress. They would make better deals and decisions.

Thanks Sara, Dave and Megan for the wonderful dinner and dear friendship. You are about the only way for me to keep my sanity and you make Shay very happy. She loves you as much as we do.