Have You Had Your Mammogram?

Since most of my readers are women I think this is a public service announcement blog. If you are a man you might want to stop reading now. If you continue I want you to serve the woman in your life breakfast in bed once you understand what she goes through.
In my attempt to work through my “to do list” while Carter is off working at camp for the month I made a call to my radiologist to get my long overdue mammogram. To my surprise they had an opening this morning and I knew I should take it, even though I would have preferred to postpone it even longer. The scheduler asked me if I wanted a new 3D mammogram. I asked what the benefits were and then forgot to listen to the answer, while I day dreamed that a 3D would be a less smashing procedure.
If you are a man who is still reading let me describe what a regular mammogram is like. A strange woman takes your naked breast in her hand and lays it on a cold plastic plate and then spreads it out to be as flat as possible, then while still holding your breast she brings the clear plastic top plate down to sandwich your breast between the two plates with what my tech says is 20 lbs of pressure. You stand there, naked and in pain as she walks behind the machine to take the image while you are holding your breath so that your breasts don’t move. Move? The 20 lbs or pressure is holding me by the t$t. Repeat on the other breast and then again with them both at a 45 degree angle. Four major mashings.
My imagination immediately thought that a 3D mammogram would be something like a cup I just hung my breast into and it took pictures all around it while it just hung there. What was I thinking? That a woman might have invented the new technology?
For the record the 3D machine works exactly like the old machine as far as the smashing part goes, but costs $60 more. Now I’m sure the picture must be better and hopefully the quality of catching potential cancers is improved, but the customer experience is exactly the same.
That being said, I encourage all woman over 40 to go have your mammogram no matter how uncomfortable. I know that insurance companies have been fighting about how often they will pay for them, but don’t be deterred.  
Now to all the women imaging engineers in the world, and I am sure there must be at least three of you, please consider inventing the machine my mind made up. Even if we have to lay on our stomach on a table with a hole in it with our breast hanging down to get a 3D image it would be better than smashing them. As it is my breasts already resemble two blue berry pancakes with one blue berry each and I can’t imagine the smashing is doing anything to help keep them perky.
Sorry Men, I warned you to stop reading.