Breaking and Entering

I should have known something was wrong when Russ asked for my car keys, “because your passenger door is slightly ajar.” When he came back in the house and asked if I had taken everything out of my center console I knew my car had been broken into. I went down and saw that everything from my glove box and center console was sitting on the passenger seat, but it was the smell of cigarette smoke that was the most assaulting.  
I made the mistake of disturbing the scene by searching through the mess to see what was taken. Of course my beloved Lulu Guinness striped change purse where I keep my mah Jongg money was gone with all of about twenty dollars in change, but nothing else as far as I could tell.  
“Those idiots left your Tom Ford sunglasses,” Carter exclaimed, determining them to be major amateurs. Carter said I should call the police and I thought, what for, a change purse? Then as I was looking at the inside of my car I noticed the cause of the cigarette stench, the idiots had left the butt of a camel cigarette in the cup holder. Now we had evidence so I got out of the car hoping I had not messed it up too much and called the police.

Within moments a very nice young female patrol officer came. She told me that there have been at least ten break ins like mine in the neighborhood this week. Russ came out and we looked around to see if we could find my change purse. We followed a trail of coins, obvious winnings from my gambling addiction and Russ spotted an opened bag of pretzels under a tree with a dozen stale pretzels next to it.  
We immediately recognized the bag as the four year old one that had been in my glove compartment. The thieves had taken it and once they tasted them, discarded the terrible old pretzels right at the end of my driveway. The officer was thrilled with the find and finger printed the whole bag getting a number of usable prints.

She then finger printed the car and retrieved the butt. As she was getting my prints to compare against the ones she already had I asked her what in the world a charge would be for stealing my change purse? “Breaking and entering!” She just was happy to have any evidence since there had been so many of the same break ins with no help to determine the robbers.
Carter and Russ got printed too and Carter was furious that I had not interrupted her from the boredom of writing a paper to help collect evidence.

I was fairly certain I had locked my car as I always do, but must not of since their was no sign of tampering to get in my car and the other cars in the driveway were not disturbed. It was very bold to come down our gravel driveway with our bedroom just above the car, but we heard nothing last night. Make sure your cars are locked, but if they are not, leave some old rotten snack food inside. Just make sure to wipe it clean of your prints so you can get evidence of these idiots who are breaking in. They are smoking camels, have pockets full of change and will certainly not be wearing designer sunglasses.