Cause of Death

If something happens to me and I don’t make it through the night my obituary should read, “Poor thing, the lobster took her out.” A giant lobster did not crush my skull or drag me under water and drown me. No, if I don’t wake up tomorrow it was from the lobster taking over my body from the inside.
In my defense I have been at the mercy of restaurant choices made by my husband’s business partner, Rich months ago and with great fore thought. Every day the meal choices have been curated for maximum enjoyment culminating with a double dose of lobster today. Lunch at the White Elephant was the Nantucket Lunch box, a bowl of clam chowder and lobster salad with bib lettuce. I was some what surprised by a giant bowl of clam chowder, yet only one small leaf of bib lettuce. Usually when lettuce is used as a garnish it is not prominently called out on the menu, but neither of those items were the reason for the choice of such an entree. Let’s be serious, the main star was the oh-so-perfectly and lightly dressed lemony lobster salad. Each fork full fully savored and enjoyed.
The partners had to get back to work, so we skipped dessert, but they threw out a comment about craving oatmeal raisin cookies. This gave me and my friends Susan and Ann something to do rather than just shopping the afternoon away. Well, maybe something to do while shopping the afternoon away. We ran across a cute shop off the beaten path that had the nicest woman working there. While I bought a dress we asked her about oatmeal cookie hunting since the in town bakery is closed on Mondays. She phoned up the “something natural” store to make sure they were open and had cookies and told us it was the place to go.
So after some stops at small shops along the way we dropped our bags at the house and walked the cliff road to get the hard workers in our group some cookies. It was important to keep them well fed so they could keep working.
Tonight was our last dinner in a very well fed week of meals and Rich had really saved the best for last. It was the chef’s table on lobster night at Company of the Cauldron. We entered the packed and tiny restaurant and were escorted through the kitchen to the covered back patio with heaters warming the chilly night air. There were no menus to distract us and therefore no anticipation for how much food, and specifically, how much lobster to expect.
The first course was a red rich lobster bisque. Just fabulous and if I could have licked my bowl I would have. A small head of the most perfect baby romain lightly dressed in buttermilk dressing with a small hot lobster cake was next. More than one in our party thought the lettuce was almost the best thing we had and how that was possible with the fabulous lobster we had I do not know. It was quite a competition.  
I would have been happy if I had finished my meal right we there, but no. A plate with a half of grilled lobster tail and the biggest lobster claw I have ever seen in my life, that made lobster boy’s hands on American Horror Story last season look small. Some German potato salad and asparagus that could have won a James Beard competition were on the plate, but who could appreciate them next to so much perfect lobster?
As if I had not come close enough to death the chef tried to finish the job of killing me off along with all the other diners at the table by serving us a homemade donut with raspberry sauce and vanilla ice cream.  
You used to think this was a diet comedy blog, but now it has turned into a how-to blog on the best ways to die. Death by lobster is the way to go.