Happy Birthday Carter

What would make a teenager wake up at 6:30 on a Saturday morning when she could sleep in? The answer has to be that it’s her fifteenth birthday and she was going to the DMV to take her learners permit test.   Yes, Carter is fifteen today.

As I was driving her over in the grey drizzle of the morning light I thought about this day fifteen years ago when I was just looking forward to finally meeting Carter.  I could not even imagine getting to this rite of passage then.

I looked over at my daughter who is a good four inches taller than me as she studied her road signs and I just blinked thinking about the day she learned to ride a bike without training wheels.  I remember watching her ride with confidence away from me that first time and I cried knowing that it was the beginning of the independence a child feels when they control where they are going.

Of course I get to spend the next year in the passenger seat as she master’s driving amongst the other citizens on the road. Time in the car has always been a place of great discussions, confessions and advice.  I am saddened thinking that I have only 365 short days left of our time together especially since I don’t really want her to tell me about her school day when she is driving.

Driving is one big step away from home.  I’ve spent the years training her to be ready to go but have done nothing to get myself ready.  All these driving courses and learners permits and provisional licenses and what is there for parents?  No course in being ready for our child to leave the nest.

I am not a bird who lays an egg and pushes that baby out of the nest to learn to fly and then lays another egg and does it all over again.  I have but one little bird, no more to come and although I want her to fly far and high I know I will miss her.  I already miss holding the steering wheel.

So, happy birthday Carter.  Congratulations on passing your learners permit test.  Your father and I are very proud of who you have become and are still becoming.  Just remember you are always welcome to sit in the passenger seat and tell me about your day.