The Pants News Network

Today at a ladies who lunch type outing for my friend Hannah’s birthday the conversation took the turn to inevitable search for well fitting pants.  My friends at lunch are all very trim, to use an old fashioned word and I would have thought that finding pants that fit correctly would not have been an issue for any of them.  Apparently issues of fit happen to people of all body types.

Inevitably the conversation turned to the news-making pants story of the hour Lululemon yoga pants and their none to attractive in everyway founder Chip Wilson.  If you don’t watch the “Pants News Network” here’s the background. A woman bought a pair of yoga pants at Lululemon and was unhappy that the legs of the pants pilled between the thighs.  You know what pilling is… when little bits of fabric gather in tiny knot-like pieces and stand proud of the rest of the fabric.  Pilling is something that cheep fabrics do more often than better materials.  When the woman went to return the pants she was told that the pants were not defective but her thighs rubbing together caused the problem.

Whoa, whoa, whoa…break in the “Pants News Network” for my side bar conversation.  Have any of you ever bought a pair of pants that had some disclaimer to a guarantee that read, “guaranteed only if you weigh under 100 pounds are 5 foot six or taller and have not eaten any pancakes in the last six years.”

Back to the “Pants News Network”  — so a reporter was interviewing Chip Wilson about the “Pilling Issue” and he said “We are a technology company”, wait I thought he was a yoga wear company.  Sure workout wear has taken a technological step forward, but a technology company, really?

Chip goes on to explain the pilling problem away by saying, “That some woman’s bodies don’t work.”  The reporter, a woman, in a moment of disbelief, said, “So their bodies don’t work for pants?”

As far as I can tell my body has never worked for anything.  Well, maybe my body would work for food, but for the most part I don’t think my body as a whole makes the decision about working, just my brain.  Perhaps some pants don’t work on my body, but if you are a pants maker you better figure out how to make a product that you can stand behind for any type of body that can put it on.  Oh yeah, we are talking about Lululemon, the same company that had to recall millions of pairs of pants because they were too sheer.  I guess you would not want to stand behind those pants.  Seems like the “technology” failed there.

The faithful fat-thigh-yoga-pants-wearing watchers of the pants channel got all up in Chip Wilson’s grill about the bodies not working comment.  He, in his holier than thou way went back on the “Pants News Network” to not apologize, but say he was sad people got mad about his comments.

Here is the bottom line, buy your clothes from a company that thinks they are a clothing manufacturer and not a technology company.  Don’t try and squeeze yourself into anything.  Thank goodness we don’t have to wear 1970’s Levi’s with the waist size printed on the leather tag on your kidney.  That being said, no one else will have any idea what size you are wearing so buy the size that fit’s right.  If the product ends up being defective take it back and demand satisfaction.  If they won’t stand behind their product call me because there is nothing I like better than a good retail fight, I’ll go back to the store with you.  One caveat, make sure the store does not have any signs posted at the checkout saying there are no returns for people they don’t think are worthy of wearing their products in the first place. I think in Chip Wilson’s mind they have those signs in all his stores.