Water, Water, Everywhere?

Posted: January 14, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

The other day I was talking with my friend Cliff, who has lost a significant amount of weight about what he has learned during his journey down the scale.  He told me that after reading many books on dieting the one thing he learned that made the greatest difference was about hunger and thirst.  He told me that the brain sensor for hunger is right next to the brain sensor for thirst and that most of the time our brains are not quite sure which sensor is firing so we confuse being thirsty with hunger.

 

Now anyone who has read anything on weight loss knows there is not a diet plan out there that does not tell you to drink at least 8 cups of water a day.  It was not just because they want you to fill up on water, but that your body needs that water to function.

 

The hunger/thirst sensor confusion is the real reason you need to drink water.  If your brain is getting some kind of signal that says put something in me, the first choice should always be water.  If it turns out you were just getting low on liquids and not food the water will turn the sensor off after about 15 minutes.  It is about the same amount of time it takes your body to register that you are full from eating.  It is not the amount you eat, but rather the amount of time it took you to eat.

 

If you keep yourself well hydrated you will at least keep your thirst signal from going off.  If you never get thirsty you can’t mistake the thirst signal as real hunger.  Make it easy to drink water, by having a big glass by your self at all times.  I happen to like really cold water with lots of crushed ice.  I know other people who like lemon or cucumber in their water.  My friend Hannah’s mom Jean likes hot water.  Makes no difference, just get water in you.

 

I also drink a lot of iced tea, which I am told does not fully count towards my water count, but does keep my thirst sensor off.  In order to meet my water requirements I only drink iced tea until 3:00 in the afternoon and then I switch to water.  Half a day of tea and half a day of water keeps me full up.

 

Next time you think you are hungry, drink first, wait fifteen minutes then decide.  You might actually be hungry, especially if you had not eaten in five or six hours, but if it was only two hours since your last meal, you are probably just thirsty.

Cucumber Water – Are You Kidding Me?

Posted: August 25, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , | 2 Comments

I hate drinking my calories.  It is one of the reasons I don’t drink alcohol, that and I still have not found those underpants I lost in Miami in 1984, the last time I drank too much.

 

To my mind and stomach drinks do not register as food, even thick drinks like smoothies.  Well, maybe a milk shake might register, but I can’t figure that out now.

 

So I stick to non/low calories drinks, but not soda.  I drink tea and now to really give me variation I make regular tea and  ginger tea, which is just regular tea with a ginger root steeped in the water too.  I also drink water, both regular tap water and San Pellegrino.  That’s four big drinks.

 

This summer I discovered a new love, a taste so good that is practically feels like food, cucumber water.  Yes, water that has s few big slices of cucumber floating in it.  Actually I don’t even have the cucumber in my individual glass.  I just fill up a pitcher with cold water and drop about five half inch slices of peeled cucumber in and put it in the fridge.

 

In no time at all the water has taken on a crisp taste that hardly resembles water at all.  The best part…ZERO calories.  How can something so good have zero calories and I know exactly what’s in it.  In fact I grew what’s in it.

 

Drinking the cucumber water comes close to sipping a cool soup it’s that satisfying.  Have I lost my mind?  If you know me you know that this is a little out of character.  I must be so calorie deprived that I have started hallucinating.  There is no way that water and cucumber could bring me to such a state of nirvana.  I don’t really even like cucumbers alone that much.

 

Perhaps I have stumbled on the next drug craze.  The government is going to have to outlaw cucumbers because teenagers are going to sit around in groups drinking this and feeling some out of body experiences.

 

I guess I should have kept this secret to myself and just started bottling it.  If I marketed it as the next great tasting diet inducing high I could easily charge $10 a bottle.

 

So make it yourself.  Try it.  If you hate it you are only out a quarter of a cucumber, but if you love it, send me $9.  You get to keep $1 for buying your own cucumber.