Warning Signs on Cars, Vans and Trucks

At 8:00 this morning I was on my way downtown to the farmers market when a white van pulled out in front of me without quite enough room.  I slowed so as not to hit the other vehicle and was struck by the words on the back, “CAUTION – CHURCH VAN”.    What the hell does that have to do with anything despite the fact that the person driving at that moment might be a really bad driver?

I started thinking of all the things that could happen to me as the driver behind that van who was being warned of their presence.  At any moment might they begin to throw bibles out the windows at me?  Could the driver along with the other passengers suddenly break into a prayer where they closed their eyes?  If the rapture actually took place could the van suddenly be left without a driver?

I always find those cautionary warnings on the back of vehicles interesting.  Like the one warning me of the presence of “SHOW DOGS” in front of me.  Are the dogs inside those cars so full of themselves that they decide they should actually be the one driving and push their handlers out of the drivers seat?

How about when giant dump trucks have signs saying “Keep Back 200 feet – Not Responsible for Windshield Damage”?   Seems like if something big falls off your truck and hits me it does not matter what your little old sign says.  You are responsible for something, whether I can prove it came off your truck or not is a whole other issue.

The only kind of warning I might really worry about is if a truck in front of me had a sign reading “WARNING – DONUTS MAY FALL FROM TRUCK”.  If I were following some kind of food truck that might suddenly stop and hand out BLT sandwiches that is something I need to be concerned about.  Or “ICE CREAM BEING MADE RIGHT NOW” is a warning that is important because I might give up going to my intended destination and instead follow that truck until it stopped.

The fact that a van may be going to a church or some overly pampered dogs are going to the hairdresser is really not much of a worry, especially to how I relate to that car or van on the road.  So if you are considering putting a silly warning sign on your car so that people will drive more carefully around you make it something people might care about like “CAKE SAMPLES INSIDE”.  No one will want to run into the back of you and destroy you cakes incase you meant for the sign to read “FREE CAKE SAMPLES INSIDE”.