Don’t Miss the Party

Posted: December 3, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Diet- comedy | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

‘Tis the season.  Once you are past the Santa stage, or you are on the permanent naughty list the season is about a lot of celebrating, eating and imbibing.  If you are someone like me who can ill afford the holiday treats you have two choices. You can skip the merriment, parties and get togethers and hide out away from the Christmas cookies, cheesy hors d’oeuvres and bubbly drinks or you can go and be merry, but make a plan before you do.

 

I strongly suggest you don’t miss the party.  As the song says, “What good is sittin’ alone in your room?”   Depriving yourself of the company could cause you to actually eat more alone than you might have eaten if you joined in the fun.

 

Here are my tips for holiday party enjoyment without the guilt.

 

  1. Always eat something before you go so you won’t lose all will power at the sight of ham biscuits just because you are starving.
  2. Try and not drink your calories.  Alcohol in excess breaks down your eating defenses as well as could cause you to lose your panties.  If you really want a drink try and make every other one water.
  3. Don’t even start on the sweets because one bite of pecan pie begets another and before you know it you have begotten yourself into a whole pie’s worth of dessert.
  4. At buffets take the smallest plate you can find even if that means using the teacup saucer.  Fill the whole thing up with salad and top it with one bite of the bad thing you really want.
  5. Sit is the hardest seat to get out of so you will have trouble getting up to get seconds.
  6. Find the most interesting person to talk to so that you don’t need to use an excuse to go get food to get out of a boring conversation.
  7. Tell your friends you are trying to be good about what you are eating at parties and if they try and push food on you spit in their drink when they are not looking.

 

Tonight I am going to my friend Carol’s cookie swap.  She is a really good friend because she offered guests the option of coming and not participating in the cookie part if the cookies are a problem.  Now that is a hostess who knows that the camaraderie is more important than the sweets.

 

So don’t mope around and miss the fun, join in, but stick to your guns.

My Failed One Bite Rule

Posted: September 19, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , | 3 Comments

Some years ago I lost a huge amount of weight, actually twice before this I have lost lots of weight, so this is my third time.  You naturally thin people often wonder why in the world I gain weight back after working so hard to lose it the first time.  Trust me, I ask myself the same thing.  Just as I am a self-taught expert on losing weight now, I am a self inflicted pro at gaining weight too.

 

My friend Maricella brought me an article from yesterday’s Wall Street Journal titled, “How to Fend Off a Food Craving.”  Google it to read the whole thing, but there was one paragraph I want to share with you and give you my learned opinion of…

 

“What is the best way to fight food cravings? Many studies have shown the more subjects try to restrict food, the more they may crave it.  So some experts suggest embracing and controlling the urge instead.”

 

I am here to attest that as a food addict this is not a technique that has ever worked for me.  In fact I have done a multi year study and proven the opposite.

 

I love sweets and the longer I go without sweets the easier it is for me to not crave them.  After four months of being off sugar I can be around cupcakes, smell brownies, even have a box of chocolate turtles on my counter that I have not looked at or craved.

 

The last time I lost a significant amount of weight I created what I thought was a brilliant way to deal with unhealthy foods.  I called it “the one bite rule.”  If I really wanted pasta I gave myself one-bite of it, the same with coconut cake, pizza etc.  But then the size of my “one bites” got a little larger, until I practically was using a serving spoon to gouge out my one bite of cheesecake.  Before I knew it, one bite gave way to three to right back to eating the amounts and the types of foods that my body clearly does not need.

 

So I would like to refute Mr. Murdoch’s crown jewel the Wall Street Journal and say don’t give into cravings, fight them.  The article does go on to say delaying, distracting yourself and exercise are all other ways of dealing with a craving.  Those are techniques I endorse.  In fact the article says smelling a strong smell such as “Jasmine helps occupy the same aroma receptors that are a key part of food cravings.”

 

Now I have a new scheme to start growing jasmine and selling whiffs of it as a food alternative, for a premium price. If it works I may be opening a jasmine smelling truck right near the next Food Truck Rodeo.