Skinny in a Tube

Last weekend at my boarding school reunion there was a conversation that came up more than once amongst the crowd of women who graduated in the seventies. It was about how we used to sit on the roof of our dorm, Beaverbrook, (yes an all girl school with a dorm with beaver in the name is a whole separate conversation), slathered in baby oil holding record albums, preferably doubles, covered in tin foil to reflect the sun. Our desire to be Bain du solie brown was universal. No one had ever heard of skin cancer and wrinkles caused by sun damage were not news back then. For those of us with oily skin to begin with the sun was a healer to any acne we might have had.

If only pale, smooth skin had been in fashion, we all would be better off today. I wish that I had invented self tanner in the seventies. I am sure I could have saved my whole generation years of trouble with the demonologist. Not only does tan in our lotion save our skin it saves us hours of sitting outside, strategically turning our chair to face the sun full-on at all times.

Just like I could not have imagined tan in a tube back then I wonder what the future tubes hold for us? Skinny in a tube seems like an even bigger seller. Is it possible that scientist could be developing a lotion that sinks into our skin and melts away extra fat underneath? Will my daughter go to her 35^th high school reunion and lament with her friends how much time they spent on treadmills?

I can’t wait for scientist to invent all the great things I think up to save me work. I have no choice today but to eat right and workout, but at least I can be a little warmer color than my natural pasty white thanks to my tube of self-tanner. I hate to waste good foil and possibly soil a valuable double album cover just to get a tan that my doctor would scold me for.