Does This Bag Make Me Look Thinner?

I need a new fall handbag. I realized today when I was out with my big brightly colored stripped tote that it was actually October 3 and although it was 85 degrees it is time to tone down the pink. For some reason I have dozens of spring and summer bags probably because I am naturally attracted to happy colors, but time for my French ice cream flavor bag has passed.

I bought my current bag at the Farnsworth Museum shop in Maine this summer and I have loved having a giant lightweight tote so I can carry my needlepoint everywhere without having it stick in an unsightly way out of my purse.  In the past I have shied away from big bags because I had the notion that the bigger the bag the more sh#t I would carry around in it and the heavier it would get.  This tote has proven to me that I can be minimalist in my purse contents.  Even though I could probably use it to pack a week’s worth of groceries in, I don’t.

Normally shopping for a new purse is not such a horrible job.  No sizes are required and for the most part sales clerks don’t lie to you about how the purse makes you look, as they could when you are trying on a pair of skin tight red jeans.  But since I don’t see a moment’s free time in my calendar to go purse shopping I looked online just to narrow down the search.

What was I thinking?  Online I can’t feel the weight of a bag or judge if it is actually worth whatever crazy amount they want to charge me for it.  My favorite feature of one website is the silhouette of the woman in grey pictured carrying the bag you are looking at so you can judge how big it is on a human.  The only problem with this feature is I am fairly certain that the grey woman model is not my actual size.   Are her arms as fat as mine?   Hell, for all I know she could be a Kristin Chenoweth’s twin and the place the purse hits on her is not anything like the place it will hit on me.

As far as I’m concerned the most important requirement of any accessory I buy is does it make me look thinner?  Yes, I want a purse that is beautiful, can stand on it’s own when I set it down and has useful pockets and compartments, but if it is not flattering when I “wear” it then it is a non-starter.  Because I will “wear” that purse everyday until I realize the season has changed and I need to change it again. I guess I might actually spend less time at the mall than I could looking online because I am actually good at scanning a large area filled with purses and ruling most of them out.  I only need one and if the store has got one of those trick mirrors that make you look thinner I’ll buy the first one I like.