The Problem With Underpants

When I go to Belk’s and look at the women’s underpants the majority come in an incredibly small range of sizes.  I’m not talking about just small panties, just a small range of numbers.  If you are a woman the size numbers 5, 6 and 7 might sound familiar.

Now, I have a close association with the other range of 8, 9, and10 all of which I have worn or might be wearing right now, it’s your guess.  But for the regular sized people who wear what Belk’s calls “Misses” sized clothing, the underpants are 5, 6 or 7.  Three numbers to cover butts from size 4-16 seems to be just too few numbers.

I understand that 5, 6 and 7 might just be another way of saying small, medium and large, so why 5, 6 and 7? I digress.

Here is the real problem as I not only see it, but also have experienced it.  Having three numbers that span 7 sizes of clothing means that they can expand.  For example, a small woman who wears a size 4 dress may buy size 5 panties just as a woman who wears a 6 or an 8 buys.

It is all well and good that they all could fit into a 5, but the problem comes when that size 4 person wearing her size 5 underpants gains a little weight.  She may no longer fit into her size four dress, but magically her size 5 panties still fit.

Not many people are crying about that poor size 4 people, but what about those of us in the double-digit range.  There is nothing happy about going from a 12 to a 16 dress except that you still could wear your same size 7 underwear.

If my panties got tight as soon as I crept up one dress size I might be better at nipping it in the bud, so to speak, right then.  But no, my panties, made of that forgiving elastic, and fine-spun knitted material just happily accommodates my increasing bum.

You might think the mirror or jeans would snap me into reality, but I can always stand at a more flattering angle or not machine dry my jeans.  It isn’t until my oh-so-forgiving panties actually get too tight that I say, “I’ve really got to lose weight.”  By then it’s at least two or three sizes too late.

So my answer to this problem is to beg lingerie manufacturers for less forgiving panties.  They have already done it with Bras.  The word on the street is for every ten pounds you lose or gain you need a different Bra size.  That has got to have helped sales.  So do for panties what has been done to bras.  Something that is really a pain-in-my-ass is the reminder I need to walk away from the kitchen.