Not Hair Paradise

Posted: April 17, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

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I don’t know when the part of Mexico south of Cancun became known as the Mayan Riviera, but from the water it is certainly paradise. I can’t vouch for the road side which looks more like the Myrtle Riviera, as in Myrtle Beach, than the French Riviera. I have not explored off the resort property yet so I’m sure to have more colorful descriptions in days to come, but for now I am enjoying the Caribbean blue water, warm tropical breezes, soft white beach and sunshine.

Well, my mind is enjoying it, but my WASPy body is not made for paradise. Here there is no such thing as hair paradise for someone with thin, wispy, limp, lifeless hair. The natives all have thick, course, heavy, black hair that seems impenetrable to humidity and wind. I, on the other hand, look like a wet dog who just came in the house and shook to dry off and that is just after spending time washing, drying and styling my hair.

I am doing my best to keep my delicate skin from burning. I only have two skin colors, blue or red, except for where the brown age spots are. Since I don’t care to add to the spots I try and wear my giant hat as much as possible, but the wind makes that difficult. The cooling wind makes you not realize how much sun you are getting so I have to constantly monitor myself.

I went to yoga this morning for an hour to stay out of the sun only to discover it was difficult day at yoga. After an hour of continual breathing through only my nose without a moments rest between cobra, upward dog and plank I was so sweaty that my hands could not grip the yoga mat and my hair looked like, you guessed it, a wet dog.

I am just going to embrace my paradise look and be as generous with everyone else who is here. It would be too much to ask to have the people look as good as the place.

It’s Not My Hair

Posted: August 30, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

The absolute worst thing anyone can say to a person who is trying to lose weight is, “Your hair looks great today.”

 

I have horrible hair, so you would think I should be happy if anyone thinks my hair looks great.  Which I have to say is almost never.  I have mousey brown, thin, lifeless hair.  I am also a hairstyle moron.  Meaning that I can hardly hold a round brush and a hairdryer at the same time without needing to revert to scissors to free myself from my appliances.

 

I grew up in the Marsha Brady era of straight hair, parted in the middle.  I was thankful as a young teen that my lackluster, no style, no body hair just happened to be in Peggy-Lipton-Style back then.  Alas, those hippie days only lasted long enough for me to get into the 80’s and be small hair styled in the big hair times.

 

But I digress.  Today when someone I don’t see often runs into me and they say, “Wow, your hair looks great.”  I want to say, “It’s not my hair.  It’s the fact that my face is thinner thus making my hair look better on my head.  But the hair it’s self, still not so great.”

 

Next time you see someone and think, did they change their lipstick color, don’t say that.  Instead say, “You look great.”  The person will either say, thank you or tell you what is different about themselves.  If it is the lipstick, you can silently pat yourself on the back for being so observant.

 

There is nothing worse than not getting credit for hard work.  I have been dieting like crazy.  I would hate for someone to look at me and say, “You must have gotten a good night’s sleep last night.”  That could be grounds for strangulation.  I don’t want credit for lying in bed, but I do want credit for upping my intensitiy on the elliptical.

 

So if you really want to give someone a compliment and want them to love you for it, make it open ended and over the top.  Now you can’t do that with me now, because I will just think you got the idea from my blog.  So go ahead and compliment my hair and my wink back to you will let you know we are both in on the joke.