Spectator Calorie Burning Calculator

At this point in my life of dieting I feel like I know the calorie count, the fat content and the recommended serving size of every food on earth.  Just off the top of my head I know that goat cheese has about 75 calories and 6 grams of fat for a one ounce serving while Gruyere cheese has 115 calories and 9 grams of fat for that same size.

I also consider myself quite an expert on how many calories different activities burn up and I mean really burn not, not those inflated numbers that workout machines like treadmills and stair climbers reports you are burning up while you are working out.  For instance, if you walk the dog for an hour, with all the stops the average peeing and sniffing dog makes you might burn up about 200 calories.  It sounds good until you consider that you would use up 70 calories just sitting in front of the TV doing nothing.  Just having the blood pump through your veins requires some calories.

For the last two afternoons I have participated in an activity that certainly feels like it is burning up a lot of calories, but for which I can find no information on the internet about what the count might be.  What is this undocumented high calorie burning activity you ask?  It is one of mother/spectator of middle school girl’s basketball game.

Based on my wide base of calorie knowledge I place watching one of these games somewhere in the range between curling at 280 calories per hour and fencing at 420.  There are factors, which can raise or lower the number of calories burned and I have devised a little chart to help you determine if this is an activity you want to participate in.

First let’s start with a baseline for sitting in the bleachers, just having the blood course through your veins — 90 calories burned

If your child is a starter – add 25 calories

If your team is playing a very competitive team—add 35 calories

If the Refs are blind- add between 50- 70 calories depending on the number of missed calls.

For every really great or really horrible play  – add 5 calories

If there are any trash talking opponent parents in the stands – add 50 calories

If there are opponent cheerleaders – add 10 calories

If the opponent cheerleader’s moms’ are sitting near you – add 20 calories

If the opponent cheerleader’s moms’ attack you –add 150 calories.

Without any trouble at all being a spectator, cheering, clapping, screaming, heart racing, holding your breath, laughing, holding your tongue, turning the other cheek, being a good sportsman and congratulating the winner can really cause you to lose a lot of weight.  The only drawback is I am just not sure how much of it your heart can take.  So my learned advice is spectate at your own risk and always remember it’s just a middle school basketball game and no lives were on the line for it.