The Solution for America

There are many issues facing America I am told over and over again by the unending droning of political ads that are ruining TV watching.  Two major issues that have gotten no airplay in North Carolina are the high cost of infant daycare and the difficulty that overweight people have in trying to lose weight.

I am shocked that the binders of women have not come out and made the daycare issue more of a topic given that they stand to get some high-ranking jobs if anyone looking for some tokens is elected.  Also, it is surprising that someone running for political office who is interested in everyone having healthcare has not tried to have all Americans slim down if for no other reason than obesity is a huge drain on medical resources.

Tonight while trying to enjoy dinner in a public place, I was seated next to a table with two brand new Grandparents, their daughter, son-in-law and their long awaited grandchild who could not have been more than three weeks old.  That isn’t-my grandchild-precious new Grandmother was completely oblivious to the rest of the diners as she proudly held up a screaming baby for a good thirty minutes without the thought that perhaps she could leave the room and try and comfort her.   No, that Grandmother was sure that the rest of us were all enjoying the sounds of a baby who clearly was too young to know how to go to sleep while we tried to enjoy our diner.

As the baby screamed louder and louder I was less and less interested in my meal.  That was when it dawned on me how we can solve two giant issues causing ruin in our country with one solution.  Infant daycare weight loss centers, a truly bipartisan solution to a universal problem.

People pay big money to lose weight and I guarantee that there is no better way to keep people from eating than to put them in a room full of screaming babies.  Let’s put those babies to good use as appetite killers and help those fat people get skinny by making them be baby sitters.

If you hear about this in the next debate you can bet that some high-ranking advisor to a candidate has been reading my blog because this is surely a win-win for America.