Good Luck or Bad Luck, Who Knows

If I had an American Indian name I would like it to be Chief Making Community, but more likely it would be Squaw Who Thinks She Knows.  Today I had a coffee at my house to help welcome new Durham Academy ninth grade mothers and give them a chance to meet us moms who have been around for a very long time.  About fifty of the moms were able to make it and many were new to our community.   So many friends generously brought things to contribute to the table and even more offered, but I had to start refusing their contributions because it was after all just a coffee.

I love to get people together and give them a chance to discover what they have in common and find new friends.  I feel like people who know each other are much more likely to make a better community then people whose children just happen to go to school together.  It also never hurts for our children to know that we Moms have a network of our own and are talking to each other.

The normal conversation about how our children are adjusting to upper school, be they new to DA or not was a common thread.  For the most part the kids are making their way and are exhilarated by their new surroundings.

I was talking with my friend Frances about a challenge my child is having that as an upper school mom I need to stay out of.  Standing back and letting Carter deal with a difficult person is the best learning I can let her do, but not easy for me as a Mama Bear.  Frances told me that in her family they have a saying based on an old Japanese story that goes like this:

A young man lives in a village and one day his horse dies.  The people of the village say to the young man that this is very bad luck.  The young man replies, “Good luck, bad luck, who knows.”

The next day a large group of soldiers come through the village looking for young men to draft into the army, but they each must have a horse, so he does not have to go because his horse just died.  The villagers say, “You are very lucky.”  He replies, “Good luck or bad luck, who knows.”

The difficulty that a child may be dealing with might actually be a good thing, a learning opportunity.  I know that hearing Frances’ parable was good for me.  I don’t know what is best or what the future might hold, but I do know that with the help of my community things are more likely to work out.  If I had not held this coffee today I’m sure I would not have had Frances’ wise words to put me in a more centered place.  As a Squaw I do know this, I really like promoting community.