Dish Penance

I am sick of cleaning out the dishwasher and cleaning the kitchen.  I am trying to figure out how I can use my total loathing of these chores as a way to eat less.  I am racking my brain.  If I were able to stop eating all together the kitchen could stay spotless and the dishwasher empty.  But somehow hunger comes into play and ruins that plan.  Also, those other pesky people who live in my house would probably insist on using the kitchen for the purpose it was intended for, so I’m back to square one.

What if I put all the plates in the dishwasher and did not run it?  It would be harder to have a meal without a plate.  Unfortunately I would need about six to eight more dishwashers to hold all my china a once.  See I inherited the “china gene.”  You might have a relative who also has this; it tends to run in families.  You know someone with the “china gene” because they own more than two sets of china.  I have, let’s say about seven complete sets of different china patterns and lots of odd plates and bowls too.  In my everyday china I have about 25 dinner plates because you just never know when 22 of your good friends might stop by for dinner.  No wonder I hate cleaning out the dishwasher.

When I was a teenager I had a family I babysat for and I swear the mother never did the dishes and just waited until I came to babysit because she knew I would wash them.  The kids told me that more than once she just threw dirty plates away and bought new ones rather than run them through the dishwasher.  I call that an extreme case of disliking to empty the machine.  I might have used up my lifetime allotment of dishwashing by doing many loads at this families house.

Maybe I could create some game where I was only allowed one small plate and one bowl a day.  It would cut down on the surfaces I had to eat off, but then again it might incent me to eat standing over the sink, which is never a good thing to do when trying to lose weight.

I know all about paper plates, but my naturally frugal nature and concern for the planet rules that out.  Russ is excellent at cleaning out the dishwasher, but somehow his eyesight prevents him from noticing dirty counters, and he travels so much that he is unreliable as the sole dishwasher guy.  Carter is more like that family I babysat for than she is like me.  Sometimes if I am looking for a bowl I know to look near her.  Maybe the answer is I threaten not to go grocery shopping if she does not do all the kitchen cleaning.  I know that is unrealistic especially since she has “homework” and the kitchen is my “homework.”  I guess there is just no way out of this job alive.